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Jan. 27, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:12:25
S02E116 - BARNES VS. TRINIDAD [2020-01-27 - S02E116 - BARNES VS. TRINIDAD]
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Time Text
For real, for real this time.
For real, for real, for real this time.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
For real, for real this time'Cause you make my earthquake Oh, you make my-Mmm.
*Sigh*
That was Tyler the Creator and his hit song Earthquake.
Like Earthquake, but with an F. I guess he's mocking Ebotics.
Is that what that's about?
We're embracing it.
We're embracing it.
He's big on not being black.
He's a gay dude, skater kid.
Used to work at Supreme, a hustler, which is a very Harlem thing.
I don't know where he's from.
But he started out as a rapper, but now he seems to combine rap with love songs and stuff.
Very weird dude.
Do you want to hear some of that?
Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between a very weird dude and an artist.
a very gifted artist I should say and I wasn't sure what he might And so is my wife.
And my daughter hates that.
Her mom is into the same thing.
But he performed at the Grammys last night.
And holy shit, if I haven't seen someone use the medium better than Tyler the Creator at his show.
You have, and don't start it yet, but you have X amount of parameters when you do a live show, right?
And I've noticed I'm starting to see fire more on stage.
I guess someone decided a way to do it that wasn't that you could afford the insurance for it.
I've seen it at a few concerts now with people blasting out fire.
So Pyrotechnics is back after the, what was that?
The White Lion?
Remember that?
There was that fire at a club and a bunch of people died, piled out trying to get out of there.
It was started by a jealous boyfriend who wanted revenge on his girl and ended up killing like a hundred people.
Great White Hope?
What were they called again?
Metal Man.
How come you've never heard of a white snake?
No.
Oh, White Lion Ribbon versus Pantheon.
What?
Pyro White Lion?
What was it called now?
White Lion?
Just put up like rock concert pyrotechnics death catastrophe.
Horrible thing.
Anyway, they seem to have moved on from that and then we're back with fire.
So this is what I imagine.
Tyler the Creator goes, all right, what can we do?
Oh, anything you want, sir.
No, no, what are the limits?
What are you doing now?
Great White, they were called.
Great White, yeah.
And they said, well, we can have pyrotechnics.
How much?
I don't know, this much?
And how big can my set be?
Well, it could be about this big.
Well, how do I make it even bigger?
Well, I guess we could have a screen at the back that repeats the pattern of the foreground, and it would look like it went on forever.
Okay, let's do that.
And how can we end it?
Can I fall off a cliff?
So he keeps pushing it, keeps pushing it.
And he's just maximized what you can do on a TV performance.
Now, award shows are fucking boring as shit.
And all the bands are dull.
But wow, did this guy pull it off?
Check out how awesome this is.
Oh, by the way, first of all, before you see this, boys to men are there, who are like my age now, and they're singing by a flaming trash can, like doo-wop.
And then he comes over, sings with them for a bit.
Then he walks over here and grabs this mic.
Turn it up.
Turn it up.
Like this is punk.
Sometimes you gotta close a door to open a window.
It's better than the sex business.
Look at that fucking set!
And then you go, okay, well that was pretty crazy.
Good job.
So from now on it's just gonna be flashing lights and him singing into the microphone.
I'm impressed.
He did a great job.
That's a really creaky set.
Not even close.
That's not even close to how crazy it gets.
I wonder if we can find all of them.
Yeah.
Then, two, four, six, eight, sixteen.
Other Tyler the Creators stormed the stage.
What?
Oh, is that it?
Yeah, for that link.
Okay, go to the next one.
It's really hard to find.
They're so territorial.
And then they all start thrashing.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a GIF.
That's fine.
I'll take a GIF.
It's going to be hard to get the stuff.
So he starts getting up on a rising platform, and they all start thrashing.
And then the buildings burst into flames, like real flames.
And the camera's shaking as it films this, too.
So you feel like your room is shaking.
And that's how he look at how he ends it.
That's pretty cool.
He goes to hell.
That's all fire.
That's real fire.
Yeah, and I can see where there's the screen in the back is the three houses.
And then the two are the only ones on fire.
So it's actually really controlled and like reasonable.
No, no, no.
Everything is on fire in the foreground.
Those are just the last two buildings on that little street he made.
But the street has about four on either side.
I mean, the set was like 200 feet by 200 feet.
It was fucking huge.
So then you go, well, that's that.
We're done.
Like, you can't, what are you going to do now when it's your live performance at an awards show?
You'd have to kill snakes.
You'd have to have a bunch of killer snakes and chop them up with swords.
Contract coronavirus via bat.
You'd have to eat bat soup and then cough into the audience's face.
And even that's not very entertaining.
It's like a threat to humanity, really.
I told you, Chingx, not to drink Corona.
Your cheeks get all red.
I regret that joke.
That uses a racial epithet, and it's terrible.
So I'm hereby erasing it.
But it's a joke I wanted to make all day.
What else is in the news?
So that's all we're going to say about that.
We got Larry Burns, former Walter Waite champion, coming in here.
Walter Weight is, what, 120 pounds?
You got to be either short or skinny.
He's going to come in here and talk about one of the most consequential fights in the history of boxing, but definitely the most consequential fight of his career when he fought Trinidad, Felix Trinidad, about 23 years ago.
He's going to take us through it frame by frame, if he shows up, that is.
But we also have to acknowledge Kobe.
That was a big thing, too, with the Grammys.
They said, because it just happened yesterday, and they kept saying, peace out, rest in peace, and holding up a jersey that said Kobe.
Like, what?
And then at the end, they had a picture.
Oh, yeah.
There was a massive, like crazy African spiritual dedication to Nipsey Hustle.
Oh, wasn't he just some random criminal rapper?
Like John Legend was there.
There's a whole gospel choir.
They're all dressed like they're Egyptians.
Because for some reason, black Americans are convinced that Egyptians were black and we were kings.
Yeah, we was kings.
Bad news, people.
Egyptians were not black.
They look like they look like now.
They looked like Anthony Kumea.
Yeah, but there's black people on their, like King Tut's grave.
I had a big argument with the rapper, R.A. the Rugged Man, about this.
He's like, LOL, fuck you.
Look at King Tut's tomb.
And there's black people on it.
Yeah, that's what they did at the end.
Nipsey Hustle and Kobe Bryant.
I wonder if Kobe would be kind of bummed.
I feel like an idiot because I don't know any of Nipsey Hustle's music.
I just assumed trash.
Me neither.
But I assume Juice World was trash, but he was pretty good.
Okay.
So maybe I feel bad.
I don't know yet.
Put on some Nipsey Hustle.
All right.
Now you made me forget what I was talking about.
Egyptians at the house.
Oh, yeah.
And he goes, there's black people on the coffin.
And I go, yeah, dude, that's their slaves.
It was considered like a gesture of respect to put your slaves on your tomb so you'd bring your slaves with you to the afterlife.
They weren't painting him.
He wasn't painting himself.
And they've done DNA tests.
They've ran samples from these mummies and they come out looking like every Egyptian guy you've ever met.
Who's got a full-blown movie?
They did not look like that.
Hi, I'm smart.
This is dope.
See, now I feel bad.
I don't feel bad at all.
Well, I thought it was just the same monotonous cookie cutter trap.
Now it's just different.
Listen, it's boring R ⁇ B. No, but it's some fucking meathead.
Well, is he a positive guy?
Because that is...
There's heavy misogyny.
The only reason that it's bad is because it's so beautiful.
The only way they can get away with it.
Talent is remarkable.
Wait, wait, wait.
Incredible.
Taken from us too soon.
Anyway, so Cobe died, killed in a helicopter accident with his daughter.
His daughter was in there.
I think he forced the pilot to ride in fog.
And when you're in a helicopter and it's foggy, I mean, planes can have their instruments they can go by, but a helicopter can't see shit.
And if the instruments aren't working, you're done.
And I think they just went right into a mountain.
I heard some imbecile sheriff from that area say, what was his exact quote?
He said, when the emergency team arrived, we found that the nine survivors had been perished.
What?
And then they kept using perished as a verb the whole press conference.
The nine survivors had been perished?
Here's a question.
If an American flight crashes right over the border in Canada, where do you bury the survivors?
In Canada or in America?
Good question.
What's the answer?
America.
You don't bury survivors, you fucking idiot.
If a rooster lays an egg at the top of the roof, which side does it fall off of?
Do you think I'm even close to as dumb as you are?
No.
So Ari Shafir had an interesting take on the death of this legend.
And it didn't involve holding up his jersey.
It didn't involve saying, R.I.P., you're a legend.
In fact, it said that it was 23 years too late.
That is 1-5 got his today.
Go back.
As I know, there's always a lot of like hate and pain in the world, and there's always a bunch of terrible stories.
And every once in a while, there's a good story.
A good story comes out.
Guy who got away with rape got his today.
Kobe Brad is a god.
I'm here in Charlotte, the home of the team that originally drafted him.
Maybe he wouldn't have break that chicken temper if he had stayed in Charlotte with the hornets.
But anyway, the point is, dude, it's like...
There's that one.
He also had another one.
I think it was a written tweet that's probably near there.
Oh, that was Tariq Nasheed, right?
So Tariq Nasheed's take is a lot of anti-black racists seem to be celebrating Kobe Bryan's death today.
I've never heard him use the term anti-black racists.
Is he acknowledging that there are black racists who hate white people?
Oh, maybe.
Because that's the only time you'd need that term if you were trying to separate like racists from the black Hebrew Israelites.
Kobe Bryant died 23 years too late today.
He got away with rape because all the Hollywood liberals who attack comedy enjoy rooting for the Lakers more than they dislike rape.
Big ups to the hero who forgot to gas up his chopper.
I hate the Lakers.
What a great day.
Fuck the Lakers.
Now, people say this is what Ari does.
He just says the most inappropriate thing imaginable.
And he doesn't really mean it.
But I don't know.
He was hacked.
That sounds pretty, yeah, that sounds pretty mean it to me.
Like, he's not giggling.
And that thing about they like the Lakers more than they dislike rape, that's not just like a random haha.
Like, that's got some substance to it.
Rest in peace, Kobe says, I'm pro-Hitler now.
Scurball Center for Professor.
Oh, they put his dates there.
Oh, geez.
Oh, Josh Denny.
No, keep showing those.
Josh Denny said they doxed his parents' home.
Whoa.
And there's all these blue check, blue, there's all these blue check Twitter people.
What the fuck's the matter with my brain?
Terrified Twitter people.
Saying that they should go kick his ass.
Imagine being hacked this accurately.
You see Robert Kelly's?
Yeah, Robert Kelly said, rest in peace.
Really sorry to hear about Ari Shafir's career.
He was a legend.
A little misdirect.
What's one six?
Oh, that's someone saying, I hope someone puts hands in feet.
Yeah, that's what I was talking about, which the threads.
But I don't think this is in the notes.
Did you hear about this woman who said nigger?
Oh, yeah.
That's, I mean, everyone's heard that, right?
It's ancient news, but we have to cover it.
She claims that she was confusing the Knicks and the Lakers, and she said the Nakers.
But we're going to have to listen a little more.
I make that mistake, too.
I make that mistake when I'm driving and I got cut off.
Knicks, Lakers, you goddamn Nakers!
Perfectly cast on the Los Angeles Nakers, Los Angeles Likers.
We're going to have to listen to that 150 times if we're going to do that again.
It's so...
Whoa.
The kind of star that was perfectly cast on the Los Angeles Nakers.
Los Angeles Lakers convenient.
I give it to her.
What do you mean?
Nakers.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But the Lakers have no part of this game.
I mean, no part of the story.
He was never on the Knicks, rather.
The Knicks have nothing to do with that human being.
I'll give it to her.
I'll tell you what.
If there is one imbecile out there that thinks that she did it on purpose, you deserve to go to a mental institution.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That she's like, this is my time.
Can't wait to drop this bomb.
They do that all the time, by the way.
They accuse, like, that guy who said, he was talking about Jeremy Lynn and said a chink in the armor.
Right.
And the idea that someone is sitting there their whole career waiting to drop an N-bomb or a chink bomb.
Yeah.
Look at this.
Like, so why did Colin Kaepernick take a knee because of pieces of shit like this?
Pieces of trash like this.
Like, what?
Come on.
How is it racist?
It's not racist if you insult a black person for raping someone.
Oh, but the Ar Shafir thing, yeah.
I mean, saying knickers is.
Oh, I see.
So wait, go back.
So was someone taking it seriously?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What did they say?
Oh, Colin Kaepernick took a knee because of trash like this.
Wow.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Now she can play like, she didn't say it, play mind games with people's heads, listen to a 10 times word nigger.
Yeah, it is the word, but there's no way.
I actually felt bad for her.
You could feel like my face, like her face getting hot right after she said that.
Oh, definitely.
She was getting like, we used to call it a mink prickly in high school because it feels like you're wearing a mink coat.
Oh, yeah.
But it's prickly.
So she got all those prickles on the backs of her shoulders.
She probably almost fainted.
Because that could be the end of your career.
And it's one thing to end your career on something you believe in.
Like my advertising career was ended when I said trans people are just mentally okay.
That felt great.
Right.
Because I do believe that.
But when it's something that you don't believe, like Kobe O'Brien is an N-word.
Kobe O'Brien.
Kobe Bryant.
Kobe O'Brien.
Losing your career for that.
Anyway, have we got...
You ever do that?
And you're like, oh.
Like somebody else's kid.
Your face just gets hot.
And you're like, no, it doesn't.
I could care less if I...
What else should we talk about?
I've got a lot of news here.
I think this is the...
Larry Barnes is supposed to come by the side.
Oh, he's in the green room.
Is he in the green room now?
He is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, here's what I want to do.
I want to go through that fight frame by frame.
We'll introduce him and shit first.
And then pull up.
Make sure you have Gladiator ready.
And when I yell, when I yell, are you not entertained?
Go to B-roll.
Oh, that scene?
Okay.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Let's get him.
All right.
Actually, wait, wait, wait.
I'm going to get him and take him straight to the green room.
There's nowhere to sit here.
I'll take him straight to the green room.
He'll be on the green screen.
I'll be talking with a microphone to him, and then I'll escort him out.
All right.
Hi, my name is Larry Barnes.
I'm from Mount Vernon, New York.
I stand five feet six inches, and I used to weigh 147 pounds.
I was a former number one contender by the IBF, and I fought Felix Trinidad November 18th, Saturday night, 1995.
I was the number one IBF contender.
You were a welterweight champion.
Yes, I was, the WBO version.
And the state champion.
And I was the New York State Champ twice, And the North American champ as well.
Now, I noticed when anyone looks you up, this fight comes up pretty regularly.
Why is this such an important fight?
Well, I think this fight was the feature not only of my career, but the highlight of my life.
And it was on HBO, and it was the first time anybody on the East Coast had seen Felix Trinidad fighting on HBO.
And did this fight change you?
Well, yes, and in many aspects, the fight changed me.
Going into the fight, I hadn't lost in five years.
I had rung up 22 fights, seven or eight knockouts, and I became the number one challenge in the world.
But when I fought Felix Trinidad, after that night, I was never the same fighter ever again.
What was your record now?
My record ended up 45 wins, three losses, and 17 KOs.
And what was your amateur record?
45 wins, five losses.
So what is that together?
That's 98 fights.
That's amazing.
And how many losses out of 98?
Out of 98, I'm 90 wins, eight losses combined with both careers.
And KOs?
38, 39 KOs.
What's the secret to a knockout punch?
Well, you got to put your whole body into it and you got to make sure that you land precisely.
And you guess right on the chin or the body shot, body shot, headshot.
Just like Mike Tyson, the old late custom out used to show him.
Hit him with two punches with the same hand.
Bow!
Bow!
Okay, catch him on the body, get his attention, get his head down, snap his head up, left hook, snap his head off.
What does it feel like to knock a man out?
Oh, it feels extraordinary.
Yes, very extraordinary.
Like you're the king of the world.
Wow.
You know, and no, but you could get knocked out also.
So, you know, vice versa versus visa.
I mean, it's a two-way street here.
So you're kind of, well, every time that you talk to fighters, they say I'm kind of living in fear the whole time because I'm scared I'm going to get knocked out.
But you were known as Larry No Fear Barnes.
Yeah, you know what?
I took chances, and, you know, you got to be no fear to take chances.
And you know what?
Sometimes it might not be with you, and it might be with you.
So when I'm no fear, I'm hoping it's with me.
You take the gamble.
You got it.
Boxing is a gamble.
Life is a gamble.
All right.
Well, let's start the fight.
So this is where exactly?
Atlantic City, New Jersey.
And you're looking at the referee, Benji Estevez, and that's me 24 years ago.
I was the number one IBF contender.
You can see me with management in the back.
The management that fucked you over.
Yeah, you know, in all dexterity, that's what happened.
That's the way it was back then, though.
Like, I was reading about Jack Dempsey.
And he was fucked over by his manager, and that's going back to, like, the 1800s.
Yeah, the early, early, early 1900s, late 1800s, right after the turn of the 20th century.
You know, then Jack Johnson came around.
You know, then he was squabbled with.
There was things.
It happened to better men than me.
I'm not the first guy that's going to end up broke, and I'm not the last guy.
Here, they're introducing me in the fight.
I'm ready to go.
Now they're introducing Felix Trinidad, him and his aunt.
Is he Puerto Rican?
Yeah, he was from Puerto Rico.
He had the Puerto Rican flag.
He was 26-0 with 22 knockouts.
Wow.
He was hot as a firecracker on the 4th of July.
What was your record then?
39-1 with 15 KOs.
Nice.
Now, when I watch you fight, it seems to me like your trademark is this bobbing and weaving up and down.
From the old, the late, great Joe Frazier and Mike Tyson.
You know, if you're going to mimic somebody, you might as well mimic the best.
And Mike Tyson and Joe Frazier at that time were the best.
Joe Frazier was retired, but Mike Tyson was still going on, so I was mimicking Mike Tyson for the most part of my career.
Really?
I thought his thing was just an insane knockout punch out of the beginning.
Well, not only that, I took some stuff from when him and Customatic used to work on the bobbing and weaving and the peekaboo style and going out the peekaboo style and fighting out of the peekaboo.
What's the peekaboo style?
Both hands here and going this way, looking that way, making sure that you can peekaboo.
You hit him, make him miss, and you hit him.
You make him pay.
What was Tyson?
Wait, pause, pause.
What was Tyson like?
Oh, Mike Tyson, if he hit you, you thought he had dynamite in his hands.
You would explode right away.
Really?
You would explode right away.
Mike Tyson was the ultimate put to sleeper.
If he hit you, you went out for the count of 10.
What was he like as a guy?
You hung out with Mike?
I hung out with Mike a few times.
Mike Tyson was a real nice guy, and he still is a nice guy.
Anytime anybody tell you anything negative about Mike Tyson, it's basically not true.
You got to see the man, Mike Tyson.
Not the boxer, the man.
Didn't he beat the shit out of Don King in a hotel?
I think he did after he was released from.
Because he was ripped off, too.
He was ripped off, too.
And some friends told him his money was missing and a lot of it.
He had to do something about it.
What was it, like 700 grand?
I think a little bit more than that.
I think it was like $200 or $300 million.
And that's a lot of money.
So Mike Tyson, from what I heard, from what I understood, he confronted Don King in the Beverly Hills Hotel.
And Don King denied.
That's when he started kicking and stomping Don King in front of a bunch of white women.
And they thought he was some black heathen.
And he was just punishing Don until the police got there.
And he said, when he went to court, he got $20 million.
He said, but you know what?
Don messed up everything.
He don't know how to love nobody.
He don't even know how to love his mother.
He would sell his mother for own dollar.
And these are the words of Mike Tyson, what he said on the documentary.
So, you know, it must have been true.
I mean, he was really upset, you know.
And I understand when the cops saw him beating Don King.
I think they took their time getting him.
They sort of took their time getting him off because, you know, $200 million is not a drop in the high.
That's a lot of money.
No, that's pretty bad.
That's a lot of money.
All right, let's start the fight.
Ding, ding!
Here I am getting ready to face a great fighter, Felix Trinidad.
I'm going into the fight, I'm very confident.
Okay.
Okay?
And I really want to go at him.
I'm being aggressive.
I'm coming out smoking.
See, that bobbing weaving thing, he just can't hit you.
It bothered him for the first couple of rounds until he timed me.
Now, he's circling motion.
At this point, at this time, everything is fast motion here.
It was like me being on a moped and he was in a Ferrari.
That's what...
He pushed my head down and my knee touched.
And Benji's step-ass told me to get up.
And so after that, I'm still going to push me.
Are you mad at this point?
No, I'm not mad.
I'm just trying to figure a way how to get in and navigate to go to the body.
That's what I'm basically looking for.
Because he's so tall.
He's so tall.
They told me he was 5'10 and a half inches.
When I got in the ring, he was 6 feet and a half inches.
I said, that's a long way from 5'10.
Yeah.
And it's hard to hit someone's head when it's that high.
It is.
You're going low.
I'm going low.
I'm trying to land.
I'm getting at him.
He can't get you.
And he's throwing hectic punches.
Okay?
And sometimes he's hitting me, sometimes he's not.
But for the most part, I got to be aware of what he's doing.
And he's watching my left hook.
And I'm trying to get into a level where I can throw the right hand.
Look at that.
He missed you like 10 times in a row.
Like 10 times.
If anybody else would have hit, he would have knocked out by this time.
So it seems like a left hook to the head is the only time you go for the head.
Yeah, because he wouldn't let me throw the right hand to the body because he hit me with a left hook of his own to the body.
So I was protecting my right hand, so I wouldn't get hit with that body shot.
Now, you had a lot of gas in the tank.
Yes, I did.
I definitely had a lot of gas.
And I think it's because of your insane training.
That's because of running 10 miles a day, then from running 10 miles a day, jumping in the pool and swimming a mile, and like swimming 60 laps in like 50 minutes.
Then I would get out, then I would watch the pool deck when I worked at Mount Vernon High School.
I was a gym teacher's assistant when I worked as a boxer for 20 years.
So, you know, the staff, they allowed me to work a day for a while.
But you wouldn't run on a treadmill, so you must have been running all over New York.
Yes, that's how my hips got destroyed.
I was running all over the tri-state area, and pretty soon after I retired, I needed a hip replacement.
And you wouldn't just jog 10 miles.
You would run.
I was really running like I stole something.
And I was trying to get from one town to the next.
And I probably had like a six-minute and ten-second mile.
I mean, radius.
Every minute was like six minutes.
So 10 miles would be an hour.
If that.
Wow.
58 minutes, you know.
That's nuts.
Well, that's coming in handy here.
Yeah.
And this way he can't hit me right now.
Right now, he's a little nervous because he doesn't know how to handle me.
And any of the guys, he would hurt already.
And I'm cutting him off, but he's changing directions in the ring.
And everything is much faster.
Everything is.
See, right now it looks slow, but and there's a speed of light.
Yeah, no, it looks fast here.
You know, I'm just moving.
People watching.
It's crowded at the Civic Center in Atlantic City.
How much would the purse be for a fight like this?
Well, I was the number one contender in the world.
I was promised $250,000.
He got a million dollars.
Okay.
But knowing from what I know now, from what government officials told me, I got a little bit more than that.
See, I never saw what I got.
They never showed me any contracts.
So I had to go off their word.
Now, your manager was your trainer.
Yes.
And they don't do that anymore since you got ripped off.
That's why.
They won't say what happened to Larry Bonds, but after I retired, they put a rule and they put a national rule in the sport of boxing.
You can only be the manager, and the trainer can be the trainer.
You can't be both.
You changed the game.
To a certain extent.
The hair trender that is pumping that jab out.
I'm trying to catch him.
I'm trying to catch him.
He's moving perpendicular, far to the right, while I'm trying to move to my left to catch him with a right hand.
But he's just moving.
And Benji Estevez is watching the fight.
Now, I known Benji Estevez my whole life.
When I got caught with that left hook on the temple in the fourth round, I didn't know who I was or where I was at.
And I'll tell you right now, Benji Estevez looked like Rod Sterling from the Twilight Zone.
I didn't know who he was.
He said, it's over, Larry.
I said, all right.
Now, I'm going to take some punishment here after this round.
How are you feeling right now?
Right now, I felt that my gas tank was getting revved up.
Right now, my gas tank was getting revved up, and I just had to figure him out.
So you're not remotely tired right now?
No, not at all.
I'm just trying to just pick him apart and just move.
And he's just looking for the Yangles to get a good shot.
I got my hands up.
It looks like he's just going for a KO.
Yes, he is, but he can't hit me right now because I'm moving my head.
I'm all over the place.
But I caught him with a straight jab right there.
Right there.
He's just moving.
That's the first round.
That's the first round.
Second round coming up.
Round two.
Now, right here.
What did the coach say?
What did your trainer say when you're in the corner now?
Now you're doing good, baby.
Keep going.
I said, Yeah, right.
What is that?
You know, give me some instructions.
Now, watch this.
I get him nearly, I nearly get him here.
I really try to get him, but I fall a little short right here.
Watch this.
Boom, boom.
Oh.
Okay.
He has to get out of there because I'm very dangerous at that point of the fight now.
If either of those connected, it would have been a different thing.
It would have been all over.
It would have been all over.
I would have been the new welterweight champion of the world.
See, in boxing, inches and miles make a long difference.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
And here I am now trying to get back on him, cut him off.
He's using his jab.
I'm moving.
He's not hitting me with that.
So now he seems to be trying to do more uppercuts to catch you when you go down.
He catch me coming in.
He catches me coming in in the next round.
Everybody in the third row took a shower.
Trinidad just grabbed him.
I see Trinidad's having a little problem trying to figure out the style because he's...
See, now he hit me with a body shot, so now I'm not letting my right hand go the way I want it to go because now if I let my right hand go, he's going to go underneath with his left.
He was taking chances as well as I was taking chances.
I tried copying you once by ducking like crazy, and after about 10 seconds, I was beat.
Well, when you fought Thursday, May 25th, 2019, you look well.
You really look well against that guy from North Carolina.
Copper Cab.
Copper Cab, yes.
Hey, now Benji Esteban just told him, stop pushing my head down.
See?
Did he lose points for that?
No, he just got worn because that was the first time Benji caught him.
Now right now, I'm just trying to get him in the corner.
That looked like a nice right to his rib cage.
Yes, I'm trying everything, but this guy, it was like me being on a moped and he was in the Ferrari.
I just couldn't cut off the corner because he was just moving like the speed of light.
At this point, I'm not tired.
I've trained 14 minutes for this.
So I'm in tip-top shape.
I can see the 10 miles a day showing.
You also barely ate back then, right?
You'd have like a little bowl of fruit?
Fruit, vegetables, steam oatmeal, stuff like that.
Now, fighters today, they eat five, six times a day.
I really never drunk any water in the gym.
I never really drunk any water in the gym.
What's your secret to losing weight?
You have to watch your diet, and you have to train hard, and you have to eat when you're supposed to eat.
You also said once, don't eat at night.
If you eat at night, the food is going to sit in your stomach, and the food is going to lay there, and it's going to pile up calories over the 24-hour period that you sleep.
So when you wake up, you're more than a pound and a half heavy because all that food is in your stomach, no matter what it is.
What did we miss there?
I'm coming at him.
I'm coming at him.
This is the second round still.
No.
Now, in the third round, I get caught with a left uppercut.
And it's drastic, but I'm still there.
But did it disorient you?
Now, I'm going to show you the shot that disoriented me.
The shot he hit me with in the fourth round.
That disoriented me.
It seems like that mask is a Dragon mask, which is the name of Larry Barnes' manager, Albino Dragon.
And she, he had to watch me.
He had to continuously watch me.
Maybe watch me because he didn't.
I was just moving up forward.
I kept coming forward, as you can see.
And he kept changing directions.
He's got to be one of the taller welterweights ever.
Oh, nice.
I almost got him back in.
Now he's all about uppercuts.
Now I'm starting to stand up a little higher now because I'm trying to fight him.
So now when I get hit on the chin, it's not really anything.
But when I get hit on the temple, it's everything.
In this fight or in general?
No, in this fight.
Not this round.
I'm going to get hit with a left uppercut in this round.
And everybody's going to take a shower in the third, fourth row.
Watch this.
With the idea, perhaps, of tiring Barnes out.
And if he goes to, if Trinidad continues to go to his right, he can shoot his right hand and not have to.
He's a real tall welterweight.
Yes, he is.
Because he shouldn't be throwing his punch first.
This is what I'm used to fighting.
I'm not used to fighting like this.
But I'm not making no excuses.
The show got to go on.
This is what it is.
And when I talked to Larry Merchant after this fight, I made no excuses.
I told him, hey, that's boxing.
What are you going to do?
Yes, he ought to be jabbing.
The jab would be perfect to see.
Watch so fast.
Watch this.
Everything is just fast.
Everything right now is just fast motion.
If he can come back with a left hook.
What's the jab can create swelling?
Yep.
And then the dragon mask would be truly tested.
Watch this, watch this.
Say one thing.
If Larry Barnes continues to get away from this.
Watch this, watch this.
He's going to get nailed when he dropped down.
And he's got to be very precise.
He don't know what I'm going to come with.
Anything.
See the right hand I almost went with.
He's moving.
He's moving.
Trinidad is keeping his distance.
Trying to go to the body.
He almost got him.
Now, after this round, he got a little nervous because he didn't know what to do.
No, I missed it.
That was the uppercut he caught me with.
Oh, shit.
Show that again.
You saw the sweat go flying off.
Can you go frame by frame?
Yeah.
Everybody got wet, man.
Everybody took a shower there.
No, that's not frame by frame.
Use the greater than key.
Now, you see that shot right there?
Anybody else would have been out on their feet.
I took it.
I was like Tomex.
I took a, yes.
Oh.
I was like Tomex.
I took a lick and he kept on taking it.
Yes, sir.
That was right on the button, too.
And he got worried because anybody else you would hear would have been out of there already.
Did you have an iron chin?
Yeah, back then, right there, I had a cast iron jaw.
How many times have you been knocked out in fights?
Him and my last fight, I got stopped.
They stopped me on the store.
But not like hit in the head out cold.
No.
Never?
Never.
And let me just tell you something.
Here's the round where the crude de grace comes.
This is the round.
Okay.
Well, wait, before we get there, you met a lot of celebrities.
Yeah, I sure did.
I met a whole lot of celebrities.
A lot of people just really extravagant to be at the fights, you know.
Danny DeVito, you liked.
Harry Connick Jr. were gentlemen.
Connie Jr.
You know, my last fight in Las Vegas, I'm walking down, I'm around Caesar's Palace, and guess who I see?
He's very tall.
I saw Clint Eastwood.
He's about 6'4, 6'5.
I said, good afternoon, Mr. Eastwood.
He says, good afternoon.
He said, good luck tomorrow night.
So I guess he knew who I was.
They were all fans.
Mike Douglas, Mike Douglas, Catherine Geta Jones.
They were always at the fights.
The late, great Miles Davis, the late, great Benny Hill.
I mean, like Steven Spielberg and his late mother.
They were all there.
Oh, his mother was a fan.
Big fan.
Big fan.
What was that story where they said, hey, come with this champ?
And you said, no.
You know, I said, you know what?
Maybe next time, Danny, I say, maybe next time.
Danny DeVito.
Yeah.
I said, maybe next time.
I says, you know, I want to stay in my place.
You know, and the garden, I'm just as famous as those guys.
Outside of the garden, I'm just the regular guy.
Everybody knows who they are.
So, you know, you got to know when to say yeah, and you got to know when to say no.
Right.
You know, you got to know when to accept your welcome.
Are you not entertained?
Isn't that why you're here?
What do you want?
A girl, a boy?
You sent for me?
Yes, I did.
You're a good Spaniard, but you're not that good.
You could be magnificent.
I'm required to kill, so I killed.
That is enough.
That's not enough for the Providence.
Not for Rome.
The young emperor has arranged a series of spectacles to commemorate his father, Marcus Aurelius.
I find that amusing because it was the old Marcus Aurelius, the old and wise, as we know, who closed this down.
So after five long years of scratching and living and being in fee-infested villages, we go back to where we belong.
You should see the Colosseum, Spaniard.
50,000 Romans watching every movement of your sword, willing you to make that killer blow.
The silence before you strike and the noise afterwards, it rises.
It rises up like storm.
If you were the Thunder God yourself, you were a gladiator.
You knew Marcus Aurelius?
I didn't say that I knew him.
I said he talked to me on the shoulder once.
Okay, let's do round four.
This is the biggie.
This is the life-changing moment.
How are you feeling?
Wait, wait, pause, because there's so much build-up to this.
How are you feeling right now?
Oh, I'm feeling good.
I know that I probably drawed a round.
Can you pull your mic up close to me?
I know I probably draw it around or probably won a round, but they had him up three to nothing.
It didn't really bother me because at that point, I think I was still in the fight until I got hit.
And once I got hit, that was the crew de graw.
Well, what's amazing about this sport is I'm watching this, and so far I've seen about 10 punches that, if they had connected, would have ended the fight.
Yes.
So it's this constant gamble, this constant coin toss.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing because I have to do that because he's not going to stand and fight me.
He's going to pepper away, pick and choose his spots.
And he watched me over the years like I watched him for the last two, three years.
So he pretty much knows what I'm going to do.
And I'm pretty much thinking what he's going to do.
And this is why he was the champ.
And I was the number one challenger.
Let's forward.
Okay, let's do it.
I'm back on the grind here.
I'm seeing what I can do.
Wait, what was that?
What?
You put in a headlock?
No, because once I tried to grab him, he tried to get away from me.
Right here.
I tried to hook.
Oh.
Okay, he tried to grab it.
He knew that if I would have let go some punches, it would have been a problem.
So now he's moving.
He's moving.
Not yet, not yet.
Not yet, not yet.
Trinidad left.
Not yet.
About a minute and 30 seconds, I'm going to get caught with a block bust.
But you still feel great right now.
Yeah, I still feel great right now.
I still feel great right now.
So that uppercut in the previous round didn't do anything?
It didn't do anything to me.
I shook it off.
Wow.
Because I got hit on the chin.
Here, I get hit on the temple.
Here's where I zigged when I should have zagged.
He just can't come flying in wide open.
Make sure we don't miss that.
I also believe Tony has triggered that jab more.
He's going to come down again.
He's going to come around again.
Here we go.
Make him stand straighter.
Gives him a bigger body target.
When you stand him up, then you open yourself up to left hooks and right hands.
And that's what Trinidad's doing.
He's listening to you, Dick.
He's throwing that left jab, and they're all landing.
He can feel the tension.
Watch this.
Bow!
That's it.
Oh, wow.
That's it.
Let's touch that 100 times.
That was the crew to grow.
That's when I zigged when I showed this.
Wow.
You can see you're stumbling there.
What?
He hit me on the temple.
Everybody, right there, watch.
Left hook on the temple.
Bow!
And I saw the sweat fly out.
Yes.
Now I'm in the world of trouble.
Now I come out of it.
I see three of him, Gavin.
No.
I see three of him right now.
And the one in the middle is not doing anything.
It's the two on the side doing me in.
Okay?
The one in the middle is doing nothing.
It's the guys on the side doing it.
But I'm still cocky.
I'm still game.
But you're fighting three men.
Oh, I can see it now.
can see that it's taken its toll.
And he senses it too.
Oh, yeah, he smelled blood.
Look at everybody standing.
Everybody can't believe that I'm still fighting.
Are you in kind of autopilot right now?
Autopilot?
I don't even know if I'm in cruise control or I crack.
I don't know what's going on right now.
There's no one in the plane.
There's no one in the plane.
I'm still trying to fight.
Oh, he got you there too in the guts.
Watch this.
Watch this.
This is really easy to miss.
Watch the body shot he catch me.
25 seconds here in the fourth round.
I always miss that.
It doesn't look that bad on camera.
Well, I urinated blood for 10 days after that.
Oh, show us exactly on your body where it landed.
He hit me right up under the floating rib and the liver.
And that caused blood to bleed internally.
I bled for 10 days after the fight.
People don't realize that with boxers.
They're constantly pissing blood after a fight.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Many people of my friends said in my hometown, I look like the Pope praying.
Look, Benji said it's over.
I said, all right.
He looked like Rod Sterling to me.
I don't know where.
Look at me.
I don't know where I'm at.
Totally disoriented.
What did it feel like?
Just fire in your gut?
Yeah.
Totally fire in my gut.
Like a volcano ready to erupt.
And that was his seventh title defense.
Hey, listen.
I went over to his dressing room.
I thanked him.
And, you know, everybody gave me a lot of prayers.
They told me I was a tough guy.
They said, better luck next time.
They were a bunch of good sports.
And five years later, maybe six years later, 2001, May 12th, Saturday night, he's fighting William Joppy at the garden in front of many celebrities.
He would see no one.
I saw his interpreter.
I said, I wanted to see Felix Trinidad.
I want to say good luck to him.
You know what?
Him and his father allowed me to see him.
They came in and they shook my hand.
I came in and they shook my hand and we talked a little bit.
And I said to him, you know, I'm going to leave you now.
I know you're busy, but I just wanted to say good luck.
He said to me as I walked out, on my way walking out, he says, hey, Laddie.
I said, yeah.
He says, you're very heavy now.
I says, no kidding.
So, and you see that shot right there?
That's the shot right there that they got on the wall in Mount Vernon.
Oh, yeah.
That's the shot they got on the wall right there.
Yeah.
You know, I landed a right hook on him.
And that was a good shot that wobbled him.
Yeah.
But other than that, that was it.
So that wasn't your last fight?
I had seven more fights after that.
I knocked out a couple of guys.
Then I went to Vegas and I fought Yuri Boy Campus.
He also knocked his Yuri Boy Campus out in the fourth round.
He almost murdered him when he knocked him out.
So I lost to two guys who were much bigger than me and they had much more experience.
When I say much more experience, they had been fighting longer than I have.
So I retired after that fight, September 18th, Friday, 1998.
Then he fought Oscar De La Hoya September 18th, Saturday, 1999, and the Unification Walter Way showdown.
Many people thought Oscar De La Hoya won, and they asked me, I said, from my point of view, Oscar De La Hoya chose to go away in the later rounds, and he started to come on.
And that's why he got the fight over Oscar De La Hoya.
All right, well, last question.
Based on that fight, what would you tell a young fighter who just went pro?
What advice would you give him to avoid getting knocked out?
Well, train very hard.
Listen to your trainers.
Work on your defense.
But most of all, beside that, management.
When you go with your manager, you have to get your own attorney.
Not their attorney.
You have to get your own attorney.
So everything is in black and white.
You know, fighters now, today, they got more control of their own careers.
Back when, I had the mob involved with me.
You know, people wanted to be something that they can't be.
But I didn't know better.
I didn't have anybody of my ethnic background around me.
I had a bunch of Italians that they saw that they could take advantage of me.
And which they did take advantage of me.
And I don't care who hear this presentation because it's over.
But I'm telling anybody who wants to be a young prize fighter, you got to take your lawyer with you.
Your own lawyer.
Your parents' lawyer.
Not their lawyer, your lawyer.
That's great advice.
Larry, thanks for coming by the studio.
You're a champ.
Thank you for having me, Gavin McGinnis.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
What'd you think of that?
Great.
A couple details that we should mention.
I don't want you thinking he was reading a teleprompter when he was doing the gladiator thing.
No.
He does it at the gym all the time.
I just yell, are you not entertained?
And then he goes off.
I don't know.
I think something rattled his cage Where he can see things just once and have them totally memorized, and also dates.
Marvin Hagler, 1985, October 13th.
It was a Wednesday, cold day, rainy day.
He lost.
Unanimous decision.
Fourth round.
Just rattles it out there.
Even my fight with Copper Cab.
He always remembers the day.
I don't remember that fucking day.
Yeah.
Wasn't important enough to me.
We have a short episode today because we're trying to cram in two so we can go to see Trump in Wildwood, New Jersey tomorrow.
Go to Wildwood.
You like Wildwood.
I love Wildwood.
You go there.
Family's been going there since before I was born.
Why?
It's like the Florida of the Northeast.
Puerto Ricans?
No.
Why aren't you showing your face?
No, actually.
It's just like there's a nice boardwalk.
There's tons of rides and stuff like that.
Great, you know, just after a while, the boardwalk becomes very repetitious and just monotonous, but it's nice.
The weather in the summer, obviously, is nice.
But we had a hotel, the same one, for years right on the water.
It's just nice.
It's like their travel books.
It's a nice clean town.
And then Cape May, you know Cape May.
Nope.
Really?
I've never been to Cape May before.
Maybe.
But it's just a nice coastal town.
Frankly.
A little humid.
But it gets like that.
What if you meet Trump?
I'm excited.
In Wildwood.
I'm very excited.
It feels like a rock concert.
You know what you should do?
You should go to the front and go, keep it on the DL when I'm wearing an Asian man mask in order to sneak in here without getting mobbed.
Right.
I'm undercover.
I'm undercover.
Keep it a secret.
Don't make me take this off.
You can tell, Mommy.
I'd like to go backstage now, please.
Where I'm setting up for my speech.
I didn't even think about it.
That impression might be a hit at such an event.
Yeah.
It might be okay.
Yeah.
You know what you should do?
You should bring two hats.
A MAGA hat for when you're talking to MAGA people, and then my Miles McInnis hat when you're talking to Libs.
That seems pretty cool.
I guarantee you, the Lib content is going to be 100 times better.
The Trump fans are just going to go, yeah, we just want jobs.
We think he's doing a great job and fuck everyone trying to hold him down.
I agree with you, I know.
But with the Libs, you're going to say, why do you hate him?
Everything.
Because he's racist?
Yes.
Name one racist thing he said.
Oh, my God.
Everything.
I guarantee you'll get that.
In fact, it would be cool if you did a montage of what is he.
Actually, did Elad do that already?
Where you ask one question, then you go through all the people that answered it?
Yeah, like, what has he said that's racist?
Oh, my God.
Everything.
Oh, I know.
It was one of Tommy Robinson's hooligan buddies who was at an anti-Trump rally in London.
And he said, what has he said that's racist?
And they're just, oh, fuck.
Everything.
I mean, where to begin?
Okay, well, why don't you begin at the beginning?
Just name one person.
He's a little midget guy.
Well, it's tall in Britain.
You're never going to find it.
Dang yeah.
I wish I could remember his name.
He's his mate.
His friends are the funnest, coolest, most hilarious bunch of dudes I've ever hung out with.
Also in the news today.
Oh, we're going to have to get to letters soon.
Another fucking robot.
You know how much I hate robots.
And I don't just hate these robots.
Hi.
I hate Roombas and other things, like leaf blowers even I would count, that aren't more efficient than the analog way.
So a Roomba will clean your house in about eight hours.
A sweep that would take you 10 seconds, sweeping your apartment shouldn't take more than four minutes.
A Roomba will take all night bumping into stuff, keeping you awake.
I have some friends whose dog had diarrhea and it splattered all over the ground.
And then the Roomba dragged it everywhere over their entire house.
You couldn't have spread it better with a paintbrush under the baseboards, everywhere.
And good.
Fuck you.
You deserve it.
Now, the worst, worst, worst of the robot world, and by the way, I don't mind automation.
Where you're like picking up a windshield and putting it over there to dry.
I'm not counting that as a robot.
I mean this bullshit.
We always talked about it on Fox News.
Wow, soon robots will be your only mate.
That'll be handling everything.
Soon robots will be waitresses and they'll bring you your coffee.
Soon the bartender will just be a guy in a swivel.
Never.
Stop saying that.
Blade Runner is never going to happen.
Ever.
Human life is too cheap.
You know what they do in India?
If you're making a movie there, you don't rent stands for the lights.
It's too expensive.
Those are like $4 a day.
You can get a human for $1 a day.
So they just have humans holding all the lights.
Why are you trying to get into Netflix?
I just saw a Twilight Zone episode where it's the same guy hating machines and robots.
Okay, look at this.
Total and utter bullshit.
Just pause.
So this is India saying they're going to send a robot to space.
What?
That's just a fucking That's not a fucking real robot.
They don't have their own thoughts.
When they talk, they're just repeating a programmed thing.
They had that at Disneyland when I was seven years old in 1977.
I'm supposed to be blown away by this piece of shit.
I'm getting fucking mad just talking about it.
Look at her.
I am going to outer space.
I'm a fucking person.
I'm going to send a robot to a volcano.
I'm quite fearful of this next mission.
Wait, go back to the beginning.
What the fuck is she saying?
And by the way, why does she have a shitty accent?
You're a robot.
Shouldn't you speak perfect English and perfect Indian and perfect Chinese?
The prototype of the half humanoid being made for the first online Gaganyan machine.
I can monitor through module parameters, alert you, and perform life support operations.
I can mimic all through activities like switch panel operations, ECLSS functions, etc.
Sure.
I can also be your companion, can converse with the astronauts, recognize them, and can also respond to their queries.
She can respond and do switches.
Dude, but imagine like you went to go slap her and be like, fuck you, robot.
And then her hand just goes up like this, like and just like perfectly blocks you.
You're just like, oh.
Yeah, that's the myth.
That's the world.
How fucking stupid would you have to be to watch this and go, that's pretty intense.
There's a humanoid and it's saying it can turn off switches.
All I have to do is reach up and then hit the switch and go like that.
Yeah, no, we'll have it programmed in to turn it off from the base things.
That's never more efficient.
And you can converse with the astronauts?
What the fuck are they going to talk about?
Hey, robot, do you think like with your parents, do you think the love you feel when you're a kid is the same you feel when you're an adult?
Or do you love them less?
Is love a constant or does it...
Love and humor are not my areas of expertise.
However, if you have a math problem, like 10 plus 10, I can tell you the answer.
Fuck.
Off!
Are being created at an increasing rate by the various armies of the world to solve problems of varying complexity.
This one goes down the stairs.
That's fine.
I mean, I'm not counting.
That's different.
That's like if it's a hostage situation.
Are you talking about like a humanoid droid?
Humanoid is my least favorite.
And then we get into a gray area of like Roombas versus that.
So if you want to send in a guy with a camera to where there's someone with a ransom, I mean, with a hostage, you want to go look at them and see what the situation is, maybe just shoot them.
That's different.
That's really just a gun on a remote control.
That's not a fucking robot.
When we talked about them on Red Eye, it was always this shit.
And it was always like, they're going to be, look, soon they'll serve you.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Why go get your own sandwich when you can have a $4.2 million robot do it?
Soon we'll all have $4.2 million to spare because we hate getting sandwiches so much.
Look, soon they'll be doing the waving.
We won't have to wave.
It's such a dumb fucking lie.
That's just a guy in a suit.
Imagine that thing chasing you, though.
I would not like that at all.
Have you seen the movie Ex Machina?
No, that's like with the chick with the...
I would check it out.
No, it's not.
It is?
Look at this.
It's just a bunch of fucking hydraulics under a mask.
How is that impressive?
We've had this technology forever.
Why are you sending it to outer space?
This is my least favorite, Sophia.
I fucking hate this bitch.
I'm embarrassed for mankind when I see this.
I'm embarrassed that people think this is anything but a programmed response.
Turn it up.
Do you know where you are?
Of course.
I'm in New York City, and I'm on my favorite show, The Tonight Show.
Wow, she likes The Tonight Show.
That's her favorite show.
Out of all the shows she watches when she's alone in her little couch, they have a little apartment for her, and she watches television with a remote.
Does anyone on earth believe this shit?
It's like wrestling.
I can't believe people watch it.
I honestly don't feel a connection.
I don't feel like we're the same species.
When Sam Roberts starts talking about fucking rowdy Roddy Piper or whatever the fuck it is, or even my buddy Tommy at the gym.
I liked wrestling.
He's like, oh, hey, you must be happy.
Scottish guy won the World Rumble last night.
No, he didn't.
He did a dance routine that was pre-written.
You know, Sam Roberts was actually, I think this might have been his first big show.
He gets booed.
Because he's ugly?
No, he's one of the guys that everybody hates now.
Like, as soon as he starts talking, everybody's like, boo!
Yeah, it must be because he's ugly.
No, because he says, he talks a lot of shit.
He talks a lot of shit.
He talks a lot of shit.
I don't care, Ryan.
All right.
It's like when Larry first was in the green room, Ryan and we're setting it up.
Ryan won't stop talking about his dream last night.
I didn't not stop.
But he was talking about how you could remember dates.
And I was like, and he was like, because if the police ask you where you were.
And I was like, I literally had a dream that police were asking me where I was, and I couldn't do it.
So it was like a relative superpower that I just saw happening before my life.
The only time anyone should talk about their dreams is me, because they're interesting and they're always nightmares.
And I had a nightmare last night that I was in college and I'd missed like 40 classes and I didn't know.
I've had this, this is a recurring nightmare.
I don't even know my schedule and I don't even know where to begin to find out what my schedule is.
And even when I do, I'm going to be like semesters behind.
And then I just think, I'm going to drop out of school.
I hate it.
I hate being in college.
I have PTSD from college.
All right.
We don't have time for the mailbag.
We're going to have a huge mailbag tomorrow.
But this clip I thought was amazing.
Laughing at boomer rubes with Don Lemon.
So Don Lemon has this guy, Rick Wilson, on his show, a boomer rube.
A complete clown.
Don Lamon is a fucking clown.
And they reckon themselves sort of well-educated, upper class types.
The types who should tell you how to live your life.
Remember that teacher who said, let's be honest, the community isn't the, no, parents aren't the best thing for their kids.
I'm not phrasing this very well.
What did he say?
He said, oh yeah, parents don't always know what's best for their kids.
It's up to the community to raise kids.
And Don Lamont and Rick Wilson are these fucking con artists who are fucking retarded, but ironically, like to talk down To the rest of us, like we're stupid losers.
And you got to see this.
Kelly has a master's degree in European studies from Cambridge University.
Also, he doesn't really say that she couldn't identify Ukraine on a map.
He insinuates it's just a pet, it's just a petty attempt to put her down, right?
Just pause.
So I guess Trump said that someone can't find some super educated Cambridge woman couldn't find Ukraine on a map.
Guess what?
That's called a joke.
That's called colorful language.
Once again, Trump, once again, Trump says something funny.
He has a quip and they say that was a really low pot shot.
Then they proceed to do exactly the same thing and giggle their little faggot heads off.
That's like when...
Like, oh, actually, there was no shower for the third row.
Wait, what are you talking about?
He said the third row should shower?
Larry Barnes was like when he got hit and all that sweat came out.
Yeah, that's exactly like that.
Finally, a good analogy from Ryan.
Yeah.
Like, it's, you might as well attack Larry Barnes for his sweat jokes.
I was in the third row.
I'm bone dry.
And no one knows where the fuck Ukraine is.
The best anyone knows is that it's at the far east of Europe where things start getting shitty.
What this is?
Of course.
Of course.
He's just trying to demean her, and obviously it's false.
And look, he also knows deep in his heart that Donald Trump couldn't find Ukraine on a map if you had the letter U and a picture of an actual physical crane next to it.
He knows that this is, you know, so that joke, right, which is possibly the funniest joke that's ever been said in the world, way funnier than Trump's throw a quip, is about to put Don Lamon into a laughing frenzy that doesn't end ever.
It's still going on today.
An administration defined by ignorance of the world.
And so that's partly him playing to their base and playing to their audience, you know, the credulous boomer rube demo that backs Donald Trump.
Just pause.
Isn't he so obviously someone who wants to pal around with the elites?
And the way you do that is you laugh at the non-elites, and it makes you feel like one of the in-crowd.
Look at him.
And look at this guy.
He's like.
Oh, he's about to jump in.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
That wants to think that Donald Trump's a smart one and there.
Oh, y'all elitists are dumb.
I know he's riffing because he's got the left.
Yeah, just pause.
Y'all elitists are dumb.
Wow.
With your geography and your maps and your spelling, Yeah, you're reading.
Just pause.
Wow.
That's the southerner.
Fucking southerners are so stupid.
They're such losers.
And they laugh.
They try to insult us.
We are the educated ones.
We do math and reading and geography.
We go to Cambridge.
So just rednecks, just step aside.
Let us handle everything.
We'll decide how much food you get, how much taxes you pay.
You're too thick.
Just stick to hunting hogs or whatever you fucking dumb pieces of human garbage do.
I'm fixing all my shit, like my car, my apartment.
Look at me.
When I think of you, I laugh my head off at what a loser you are.
Look, this is me thinking of you and your shitty life.
Fuck you, you poor person.
You don't know what I know.
Oh, you don't even have an apartment in Manhattan.
You're such a loser.
Name me one restaurant in West Hollywood.
You can't because you haven't lived.
Have you ever even been to fucking Paris?
Do you know what the Louvre is?
I've been to Paris.
Okay, I've flown first class to Paris and had some fucking weird foie gras with my boyfriend.
And I felt totally at home.
...photography, knowing other countries, sipping your latte.
All those lines on the map.
laughter Pause.
Wouldn't you just love to give them a map of Europe and Russia?
Maybe even some of Asia and say, all right, here's a marker.
I erased all the countries.
Have at it, smarty pants.
Yeah.
Melitas know where Ukraine is.
Still, Don Lamont is not stopped.
I don't believe what I'm seeing.
This reminds me, I had this friend, Steve, and his sister was handicapped.
She was mentally slow.
And we used to, the way we would make her laugh is we would just talk about her laughing.
So we'd be watching TV and we'd say things like, what the fuck?
Oh, yeah, that's going to happen.
You're going to start brushing your teeth in the shower.
I can remember whatever the detail was.
We'd mock them.
And then she'd sort of get wind of it.
And then she would start riffing too, going, yeah, who cares about your stupid dog and his dog food?
And we would go, whoa, look at Jen.
And then she'd start laughing.
And then we'd go, oh, here she goes.
She's going on a ride.
Here goes Jenny.
And then she'd start dying more.
Then she'd fall off the couch.
And then Steve would go, and this is how it goes.
We just start winding her up and we just keep a winding and a wind.
Now she's like flat as a pancake, bawling her eyes out, laughing.
And we would just keep going at it.
Like, look at her.
Now she's crying.
We got tears here.
She's crying, laughing.
And, you know, we would almost kill her.
This is what Don Laman is doing.
He's laughing like a special needs person.
Apologize.
Oh, my God.
Wait, go back, go back, go back.
What the fuck is on his wrist?
Oh, my shit.
Ew, look at his stupid African Star Wars bar bullshit.
Star Wars bar.
These are not the fags you're looking for.
Dude, those are bad, bro.
And I hate the story behind them, too.
This is actually from a small village in Kenya where they recycle.
Yeah, can you buy a better bracelet?
Oh, my God.
But you don't like that.
Oh, my God.
Is it because...
Now, this is...
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I'll write it down.
Could it be possible that the guy that he's laughing at isn't funny and it's kind of like that's why it's funny?
Because it's unlike him to do that?
That's the only reason I could see maybe you find it funny.
No, he thinks that you and Crane is the funniest joke that's ever been uttered.
The image of the crane.
Yeah.
It was Rick's fault.
I blame Rick.
But in all honesty, you know what NPR should do?
Why not?
Sorry, still going.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
That was good.
Sorry.
Rick, that was a good one.
I needed that.
Okay, so listen.
I can't take it anymore.
I can't take it anymore.
Look at it.
It's all about her stuff.
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