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Sept. 3, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:06:06
S02E54 - BILLIONAIRE MICHAEL SCOTT
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Ron with Kevin McGinnis.
That's where we'll meet.
You make the night.
I always rise alive.
Time to go bail.
I knew right from the beginning that you would end up winning.
I knew right from the start, I put an arrow through your heart.
Or did she put an arrow through his heart?
You put an arrow.
I put an arrow through my heart.
My heart.
I came to the studio.
It was a little late today, unfortunately.
And Ryan was already there.
I'm always here before him, but he was there early today, and he was listening to that song.
That song is a track from the 80s, sort of when metal was getting soft for a little while, kind of a hair rock days.
The band was Rat with two T's.
The song is Round and Round.
And I walked in the student and I heard it.
It sounded like a very shitty version.
And I said, hey, Ryan, are you listening to Rat Live?
That would be the first time anyone's ever listened to Rat Live.
Is that not true?
And he says, no, I'm listening to me doing karaoke of Rat.
We were at Anthony's on Labor Day, Anthony Cumias of Opie and Anthony fame.
And Ryan is a dork, I guess is the word?
I wouldn't say that at all.
Who somehow gets the tape of him doing karaoke.
Yes.
And then the next day, he comes to work and he's so happy with himself that he listens to his own karaoke self.
Is that accurate?
Yeah, I'm just seeing if I nailed it or not.
No, you were listening to it.
This is true.
Oh, now do you want to show everyone?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is Ryan performing live in Anthony Kumia's basement where he has a karaoke stage.
Who's the account?
This is my account.
Oh, so you've put this up on your Instagram?
Correct.
It just keeps getting worse.
Well, that was from Carl.
You have the vanity of a spoiled 12-year-old girl.
I guess that's the Puerto Rican thing.
Like the pedicures they get and all that stuff?
*music*
I do some pretty good hits on there.
You got your fanny pack on?
Yep.
It's a hit pack.
Oh, so you've got a nice long one.
This is you doing a different song.
Yeah.
Ryan, no one who watches this show, actually no one on earth but you wants to watch you do this I Want to Fall in Love song That was I wanted Why aren't you showing the round and round rat thing?
That's at least a molecule of interesting.
Okay.
This is zero interesting That's 18 in life Charlotte I said the lyrics wrong You're over annunciating Why would you film this?
Your view of the monitor?
Yeah, I don't want to show my face because I wanted to sound like rat and so I felt embarrassed So but there is footage of you singing rat.
Why aren't you showing that?
No, no, no, no.
There isn't.
Yes, there is.
I just saw you on stage with another guy wearing cargo shorts.
Different song.
Different time.
I got some other good video.
If you're interested.
Nope.
You're not interested.
Welcome back, folks, to the boring show.
Oh, there's drunk me.
My whole thesis with this is that the fans don't get to see your legs enough.
Great point.
So, we move ahead, and then we find...
Let me just hear, I'm...
I just want to hear me sing Training Me.
Wow, I'm turning into my dad.
If I turn into my dad, I would just disappear.
It'd be like Thanos.
I can remember, even though I was drunk, I remember doing that song, and I remember just thinking, why is this not carrying?
Like, why isn't this good?
And I realized, oh, because I can't sing.
But you can.
You have good footwork.
All right.
This is really painful for the folks at home.
This show is on a network called Free Speech.
We should have SOAF on the site if you tune in, right?
Yep.
SOAF is a new show.
I think, I don't know what we'll get next.
Joe Biggs, Laura Loomer?
I like that Run Don't Walk guy, but he's already got his YouTube stuff.
So we'll wait till he gets banned.
They have to be banned to be on the show.
I want to become the island of Misfit Toys of banned stuff.
But we always talk about free speechiness.
And inevitably, when we talk about a free speech event a few days ago, there's updates.
Now, remember the bed bug guy?
This was a guy, classic, very typical New York Times contributor.
And he wrote about free speech.
Oh, good.
And he said, to be uncomfortable is necessary in a world that has free speech.
Oh, he gets it.
There he goes.
Finally, someone who gets it.
Free speech is not hate speech.
No, free speech is all speech, including hate speech.
Sorry.
If it was just good speech, then it would be who's better, the Beatles or the Stones?
It has to include horrible stuff.
I think it includes a guy who wants to do a seminar on how sexy boys are.
Now, he's going to get the shit beaten out of him.
And I don't like him, and I'm not going to go to that particular talk.
And I think the police should definitely monitor this guy.
He's clearly a pedophile.
But it should be permitted.
Should a Holocaust denier be able to do a talk?
Yeah.
I mean, the Turks deny the Armenian genocide.
Chenk Younger over the young Turks is a Holocaust denier.
He denies the Armenian Holocaust.
True.
Yeah.
And I think the beauty of horrible, odious ideas like Holocaust denial and pedophilia is when they get a voice, you're there to shoot them down, figuratively, and they don't grow.
When they're allowed to fester, then they get worse and worse because you don't get to say no.
That's not why.
That's not what happened with Hitler or whatever.
Like flat earthers and stuff.
That information doesn't hurt anybody to have bullshit.
Actually, you know what happened with the flat earthers?
They got a gyroscopes.
They got some money together and they got like $15,000 for a state-of-the-art NASA-level gyroscope, whatever it's called, that measures rotations.
And they applied it to the Earth's rotation and were disappointed to discover that, yes, the Earth is rotating.
Another thing they did, and this goes back to what I'm saying, trial and error.
They had these three pillars that were several miles apart.
And there was a laser that was going through them.
And they were the perfect height, perfect distance off sea level, right?
So they were all exactly the same height, and they accounted for the ups and downs in the land.
And they shone a laser through all three to show you that it would be a perfect line.
Well, guess what happened?
The middle one was higher than these two because they're on a curve.
And so they were very disappointed in that too.
So in both cases, sunlight is the best disinfectant.
Get it out.
Anyway, so bedbug guy says that it's important to feel uncomfortable.
And then someone's making fun of him later on, much later on, and they call him a bed bug.
And he has a heart attack and contacts the professor and his provost, the professor's boss, and demands, doesn't demand that he gets fired.
He claims, I was just CCing the boss just so the boss could see what his employees are up to this week.
Oh, that was nice of you.
So here's the weird part, an update on this bed bug story.
Can you show that tweet?
Some douche named David Rothschild says, Right-wing free speech movement is all about, one, creating a safe space for right-wing speech.
Two, while squashing...
Wait, just one, two.
We don't need your one and twos in there.
Just say right-wing free speech movement and the right-wing free speech movement is all about creating a safe space for right-wing speech while squashing progressive speech.
Same tactics for Turning Point, Proud Boys, Brett Stevens.
So this guy doesn't seem to understand that the New York Times journalist is left-wing.
Go back to the tweet.
So he's saying that the bed bug guy, he just emailed CCing, my provost.
So David Rothschild is saying, oh, the bedbug guy is a Nazi, and these free speech guys, they don't want free speech.
No, dude, the bedbug guy's on your side, David Rothschild.
You got it wrong.
Also, in the news, remember we had that chick on who was kicked off her label for writing a song called I'm a Savage?
And it was all about how she's a badass and how she has unbridled rage.
And that was deemed insensitive to First Nations.
What?
She wasn't even thinking that.
So now that adjective has been co-opted by that particular movement, and you're not allowed to use it.
So when little kids say, I'm savage, no.
So Dior gets together with Johnny Depp, and they go, we want to do a thing called Sauvage.
Did I not send this to you?
You got it.
I got it.
Yeah, it's in the notes.
Dior's in trouble for Sauvage.
And I haven't even seen this yet.
I have.
Is it banned?
I was trying to look for it.
I'll find it.
Hold on.
And so they consult with all these Indians, and the Indians just take a bribe, whatever.
I don't care.
Yeah, just don't show it's going to work good.
Here's some money.
Let me hear it.
He plays Link Ray.
rumble This is sexy guy, isn't he?
I don't know how he became a person again.
Because remember those pictures where he looks like he was dying?
Yeah.
How did they do that?
They spoke to McDonald's three times in the game 40 minutes back.
That's what Tommy Robinson said.
He goes, fucker gave my white bike by looking at it McDonald's.
Wow.
I thought it's a really beautiful commercial.
And that Indian's an Indian.
We are.
Right.
It's not like some white dude.
So they hired Indians for their commercials.
All right.
That looks cool.
But what does the Twitter moment say?
It's not acceptable.
Why isn't it acceptable?
Because they used the word salvage and they were called savages, perhaps?
Read what that says.
Oh, it says, Dior accused of culture appropriation for salvage campaign.
Ad featuring Johnny Depp, the French luxury brand is facing backlash for a new campaign that offers authentic journey deep into the Native American soul in the sacred founding and secular territory.
I saw one of the tweets in that thing.
Scroll down.
I might have it on my phone, actually.
She said, she goes, because Dior goes, but we did it with Indians and they said it was cool.
And she says, no, that's not good enough.
Her name is Dr. Adrian Keene.
Oh, got it.
Can I read it as Johnny Depp?
Yeah.
So the fact that Sauvaler is on some We Are the Land BS is not surprising.
But as always, I find it deeply disturbing when brands force Native people to make the choice between stereotypes and misrepresentation or invisibility.
Oh, you stuck a soprano in your Johnny Depp.
Yes.
So her point is, you can't, the Indian had no choice.
It was either invisibility Or a stereotype.
Guess what happens at powwows, which happen every year for every tribe?
They have fancy dancers and they dress up like that and they dance like that.
Is that a stereotype?
They still do that on a regular basis.
What is a powwow if it's not Indians dancing?
That's their number one thing to get together.
It's like the Irish Parade.
The Irish Parade has the bagpipes, which are Scottish, by the way.
And the Indians have the powwows.
So you're not allowed to show a fancy dancer?
Can't these people get any fucking money?
Jesus Christ, mind your own business.
She actually made a good point.
Their other option to not be represented is invisibility.
You know?
So, yeah, that's good that they're represented.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
You were saying something tight.
I can't shake the Johnny Depp impression, but I think Jeff Yang is on the side of the thing.
Dior collaborated with Americans for Indian opportunity to ensure respect for indigenous cultures, values, and heritage.
AIO was run by LaDonna Harris, who adopted Johnny Depp into the Comanche Nation before he played Tonto in the 2013 reboot, The Lone Ranger.
Pretty good, right?
Yeah.
The notion you can just be adopted by a tribe is fucking ridiculous.
When my kids were born, they get checks because they have a casino and there's a settlement.
So they get two sources of income.
And they had to have their mouth swabbed to make sure that they were more than 25% Indian.
You know what was weird?
I had to have my mouth swabbed.
I'm not getting a check.
Like, why do you care who the dad is?
Yeah, it is weird.
Yes, it is very weird.
Maybe to make sure that you aren't missing out on being Native American and you don't know about it.
So we got that.
There was the Straight Pride Parade.
That's exciting, isn't it?
Yes.
Let me explain the Straight Pride Parade to you just briefly in case you don't get it.
It's the same as this.
It's the same as wearing a shirt that says it's okay to be white.
It's the same as having an anti-Sharia rally.
We did that in New York.
We had an anti-Sharia March rally.
And the reason we did it was not because we think Sharia is looming, but to show how ridiculous Clown World is and how you can't even be against Sharia law.
Sharia law literally has women as second-class citizens.
If a woman is raped, her testimony is worth half of what a man's is.
So if she's raped and he has one witness, she better have two.
And then they're still at zero.
Now it's still he said, she said, so I guess she needs three.
But there's also some bad stuff about it, too.
And if you're progressive, then you should be against that.
So the reason we had a Sharia march in New York was to show the world that Antifa is on the side of anything that's not Trumpy.
So if Trump guys are anti-Sharia, they're pro-Sharia.
Logic be damned.
So I think the Straight Pride Parade, people were just saying, okay, gay pride, awesome, fine.
Would you mind if we had a straight pride parade?
There shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
And everyone lost their shit.
I sent you some pictures.
I emailed you some pictures.
This was a thing going around.
Straight sex is rape, and sex with whites is white supremacy.
That's crazy.
So I have a lot of straight sex with my wife, but she's not white.
So I'm not a white supremacist, but I am a rapist.
Unfortunately.
And I didn't know.
Are you a rapist if you don't know?
My wife doesn't know she's being raped.
Ignorance is nine-tenths of the law.
Next time I have sex with her, I'm going to say, did you know this is rape?
And then this sort of sums up here.
This picture is, I saw another one too of a woman in a rainbow shirt that said love, and she was like this for hours.
This picture sums up why you need a straight pride parade.
Fuck straight pride, solidarity, black lives matter.
Did they say black lives don't matter at the straight pride parade?
Yeah.
Straight is racist.
Remember?
I saw that.
This was an interesting tweet.
I hate Paul F. Tompkins.
We've talked about him on the show many times.
He was the one who had Kian Peele on and was touching his face like this while they were talking.
Remember that?
Yes.
Like he had two little pet Negroes that he was so proud of.
Anyway, he takes an article from the Independent, which is basically just an Antifa Zine.
It's a pure communist.
And what does it say?
Ha ha ha.
What a reveal.
It says, straight pride organizers revealed to have links to far-right and white nationalist groups.
And then Paul goes, ha ha ha, what a reveal.
Now, his sarcasm there, which has tens of thousands of retweets, and of course, people like me who could correct him or make fun of him are not allowed on, which is probably why we're not allowed on, right?
So they can control the narrative.
He says, ha ha ha, what a reveal.
As in, duh.
Of course they're white nationalists.
Of course, straight pride is secretly a way of saying white pride.
No, it's the opposite of that.
It's saying, you guys are so far left, you're so radical that I bet you won't even let me be straight.
I bet you think it's somehow an affront to you if I'm straight.
And they prove that beyond the shadow of a doubt.
So I looked it up.
I looked up the link.
What are you doing over there?
Trying to log into Parlor because you said something cool about it on Parlor.
Yeah, no.
Just stay with the task at hand.
So I look at the independent link, right?
The independent.co.uk, I believe it is, that Paul F. Tompkins is talking about.
And he clearly hasn't read it.
He just saw their white nationalist, and he goes, I knew it.
I knew straight people are all racist.
And so I read the article, and you scroll down, and it says, the relationship that these guys have is they were once seen with people from Resist Marxism.
Now, I'm not totally well versed in Resist Marxism, but my understanding is they are an anti-socialist group.
So it's, you're a white supremacist.
And look, they do this all the time.
They have links to white supremacist organizations, and then white supremacists is a hyperlink, so it looks like it's more valid.
But then you click That link, right?
And it'll just be something on white supremacists.
It won't be the free speech organizers in Klan uniforms.
Yeah, look, just a bunch of articles about them.
Other independent articles.
Yeah, yeah.
Conveniently.
Just a bunch of like actual Nazi stuff.
So go back.
Yeah, so the whole thing was that they're tied to resist Marxism.
In other words, if you're not a socialist and not gay, you're a white nationalist.
You're a fascist.
Clown world.
Speaking of clown world, since I last saw you, my buddy Trigger Tommy is off to jail for a long time.
He defended himself with a knife.
Now, let me give you the backstory.
I had a fundraiser for him back before when you were allowed to have fundraisers.
And, okay, this all started in 2010 when I think he was in Portland.
Where was he?
Maybe somewhere in California.
And he got beat up by sharpskins.
Sharpskins are guys, they're skinheads against racial prejudice, but they ran out of Nazis a long time ago.
So now they'll beat up like Ryan because he knows me.
Because I resist Marxism.
So they terrorize him so much he leaves town and he moves to Chicago.
But, and he says, okay, fine, Antifa, you win.
I'm leaving.
This is a punk kid, right?
Moves to Chicago.
They track him down there and they start following him.
They put his picture all over town.
All their little stupid networks say, get Tommy if you see him.
He's a Nazi.
This, by the way, is all stemmed from him just hating communism and saying, I don't understand why punk has to be so socialist.
Johnny Ramon was against it.
Can I just be one of those Johnny Ramon guys?
No.
So he's at a pool hall about five years ago, maybe now?
And, well, actually, I might have it here on my list.
It was April 11th of two years ago.
And he's at a pool hall playing pool with his girlfriend.
And word gets out and they get on their little $500 phones and they say, the Nazis here.
Get him.
So they show up to this pool hall and they attack him with pool cues.
And they beat his girlfriend.
They beat him.
They split his head open.
There's his lovely gal.
They split his head open and he needs 13 staples to hold it together.
And then they keep taunting him with this, hey, you want to play pool again, Tommy?
Hey, Tommy, let's play some billiards.
So he has to watch wherever he goes, and he's already tried moving.
So he's being hunted.
And I've noticed in court of law, this is always totally ignored.
And every confrontation is treated like it just spontaneously sprung out of the ground.
If you're being hunted and it's all over social media, shouldn't that affect your social, your self-defense case?
Like, it's one thing if some guy, I walk outside and some guy punches me in the nose.
He's a drunk, crazy person.
Isn't that different from some guy saying, I'm going to get you.
I'm going to find you.
Tweeting me pictures of a fist.
I'm going to punch you.
And then it eventually happens?
I don't know, but I would think it should be.
Right?
And if you were defending yourself, defending yourself against some crazy bum who punches you, you'd just be more like, get the hell out of here.
Defending yourself against someone who's been chasing you all over the country and talking about how they're going to kill you, that's a different scenario.
Anyway, he gets to this show.
You can show the headline now.
And I think it was a Dropkick Murphy show.
And they go, Tommy's here.
So he goes, uh-oh, I've been spotted.
I better get the hell out of here.
And he has a knife, by the way.
And I think it's an outdoor concert.
They see him and he starts trying to leave and they corner him.
And he goes to the right.
They go to the right.
And then this mob starts moving in with these two guys in the front.
And eventually he pulls out a knife and he goes, look, I don't want any trouble.
Please get back.
And in a normal world, they go, okay, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jesus.
They laugh.
Like, isn't that bizarre?
I think it's because they've never been in a fight before.
Or maybe they just watch too much TV and they think they can do some Crab McGraw move.
This guy, by the way, has skin head tattooed on his knuckles.
The guy who did the attacking.
He was hiding his hands in court so the judge wouldn't see that he was helping out a skinhead.
Anyway, the skinhead against racial prejudice, or maybe he's a Nazi skinhead, I don't even know, laughs at the knife and lunges at him.
So Tommy goes, cuts him here and stabs him here.
And the judge said, throw the book at him because he's a proud boy is what really happened here.
Justice was ignored.
And, you know, this happened a year ago and they paid his bail.
Proud boys did.
And that got him out for this year.
But I just realized the other day, if they hadn't paid his bail, he would have been in whatever Chicago's version of Rikers is for this entire time, this entire year.
That's not an expeditious trial.
That's not swift justice.
So I know what you're saying.
You're saying, what can we do to help, Gav?
I don't know.
I mean, they raised money for him.
I talked to the lawyer.
The lawyer was just, he goes, I just need to vent.
I've never seen anything like this.
The guy who attacked Tommy had 40 pounds on him.
The judge just said it was a soft.
Oh, oh, sorry.
Another minor detail.
The guy got a bunch of punches in at Tommy before he pulled out the knife.
And he had 40 pounds on him.
So Tommy was being beaten.
And this has already happened many times.
He'd fled his hometown to get away from these lunatics.
And there they found him.
Eventually he pulled out a knife.
What happened?
He's in jail.
Just like Max and John are headed to jail.
Meanwhile, Antifa literally gets away with murder.
And the press supports it.
The Dayton Ohio shooter was an Antifa supporter.
No mention of it.
Dropped.
It's already gone from the news.
Imagine he had a fucking MAGA hat on.
Oh, oi Ve.
All right, we're getting too serious.
Don't you think?
Yes.
Let's look at Michael Rappaport get made fun of.
Ooh, yay.
So we had Rappapore on, bitching at Trump, saying, Keep the Jews out your mouth.
We had no idea he was Jewish.
I thought he was Irish.
But apparently, other people hate him as much as we do.
Not playing, I mean, my man is looking custom suit sharp.
Katino, this is a tough game.
Killer 3s are not playing around.
What do you have to say about this game?
My man, you're looking at me like you want to put hands on me.
Please, please, man, before I put hands on me, I ain't mine.
I'm not stealing breeding.
Get off of me, man.
Could you know what we just told me?
He would put hands on me on live TV, CBS Sports Victory playoffs.
Wow, that is uncomfortable.
It's breathtakingly uncomfortable.
But you know another weird thing about it, too, is he says he's looking custom suit sharp.
Yeah.
You got to be relatively lower middle class to not have any tailored suits.
These guys are billionaires.
Of course he has a custom suit.
And he's nine feet tall.
I don't think they make suits.
It has to be custom.
It has to be.
What a dumb thing to say.
What an irritating person.
Yo, my man is custom suit fitted right now.
My man is looking custom suit sharp.
Custom suit sharp.
Yo, you look like you want to put hands on me.
Hands on me.
Yeah.
And then when he's all like defeated, he's like, he does this.
Yo.
I'm exasperated.
It's so sickly embarrassing.
But in his defense, what would you do?
I would just be like, so you're saying, hey, you're right.
We're here talking to LeBron James.
And he just goes, I go, alrighty, LeBron James does not want to talk to me, so we're going to move.
That's what I would do.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I can handle it.
I could even be like, you can do anything you want because he's not going to, what is he going to do to you?
You know?
Am I going to beat you up?
It might be cool just to make it worse.
So you go, hey, we're here with LeBron James.
He's looking really good in his typical custom suit, typical of NBA players.
They all have custom suits, obviously.
LeBron James, how do you think this game is playing out?
All right, so you're angry.
Do we have some sort of beef?
I don't remember?
Oh I do remember So okay we You make up a story.
Yeah.
You know what happened?
We got dinner reservations.
Oh, you're mad that I didn't like the Ghostbusters reboot.
You're a Melissa McCarthy fan.
Oh, by the way, good news on that.
I was correct.
And the kitchen is bombing like a lead balloon.
It's Melissa McCarthy's worst opening, obviously.
And she was part of Ghostbusters 2.
No, no, sorry, Ghostbusters reboot.
And you know what else is bombing?
The other prediction we made, that terrible Bruce Springsteen movie about Luton, where they talk about the Nazi skinhead problem in Luton.
Meanwhile, that's where Tommy Robinson is from, and it's 40% Muslim.
And if you walk down the street with, if a girl walks down the street in short shorts, she'll get attacked by Muslims for being too revealing.
So, yeah, it's a dumb.
Also, speaking of, I almost said the W, is the W igger word not sayable?
I think I could say it.
Can I say Wigger?
Because isn't it complimentary to African Americans?
But it's also, I don't know.
Because you're saying this guy wants to be black.
Yeah, but black is not synonymous with the word that Ryan.
Well, you can't really say wallack.
You could.
You just did.
It just sucks.
Just stinks.
All right, I won't say it then.
I just don't see the logic.
Sometimes I don't quite follow these new rules.
But Bella Hadid did the most cringy sneaker thing.
It's so insincere.
I love it.
Well, basically, she says at a sneakers show that if you have nice shoes, you can have sex with me, which I doubt is true.
I'm willing to try.
Right.
And by the way, the sneakers that she put, they're not even...
I mean, they're classic, but...
Oh, yeah, you're a sneaker dude.
In LA, they're going to look at your sneakers and be like, whoa, Air Max 90s or whatever.
I don't understand you.
You have a dope shoe that both guys and girls can wear?
I mean, matching shoes, that's dope.
What are some of your sneaker turn-offs, though?
You know what?
I'm cool with it, and I don't mind dirty sneakers, but they better be fresh, you know?
Is she at gunpoint?
She looks like a robot that just learned how to talk about stuff.
Matching shoes, that's dope.
What are some of your sneaker turn-offs, though?
You know what?
I'm cool with it, and I don't mind dirty sneakers, but they better be fresh, you know?
If Homeboy's coming through with these, it's quiet.
Yeah, no, it's quiet.
It's cool.
But like, if he comes through in like these, you got some Air Maxes out here.
You got some Jordans.
Homeboy's gonna, like, get it.
Homeboy's gonna, like, get it.
I'm having a real tough time with this one.
If you wear Air Maxes, Homeboy's gonna get it.
If you wear these, then it's quiet.
Quiet.
It's quiet.
You see the spin?
Yeah.
The spin was pretty rough.
Oh, my goodness.
God, she makes me so uncomfortable.
Very attractive young lady, though.
Gavin, this is one of the worst...
This is the worst cringe video we've ever had, according to you.
Back to back with Rappaport and this, it just seems like...
If Homeboy's coming through with these, it's quiet.
Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
But like, if he comes through in like airboxes out here, look at this.
He's like, this is going on Reddit Cringe.
Homeboy's gonna like, get it.
Is she on acid?
Homeboy's gonna like, get it.
Dude, that is one of the worst things about it.
Okay, so those were two good cringe videos in a row, and they both involve people pretending to be what they're not, pretending to be black.
So I put the onus on you because you told me, I don't give a shit about shoes, but you told me you watch these sneaker videos and the Asian kids are really into sneakers.
And they always say things like, this is really dope.
You got a really dope chill shoe.
Like, basically, like, number one hottest sneaker right now, like Death Roy the Yeezys.
Daffery?
Deferry the Yeezys.
Definitely Yeezys?
Defere.
What are you doing?
Okay, right now, yo, it's your boy.
Thanks for tuning back in.
Don't forget, subscribe, hit that smash button.
Smash button.
Now, number one, hot issue.
A lot of people sleep on this, sitting on shelf.
Like, come on, bro.
Anyway, I should start a new YouTuber.
It's just that.
Yeah, you should.
You should.
But you know what you should do?
Instead of reviewing sneakers, just review everything.
Like, take that woody Pez and go.
This is a new Pez people talking about.
A lot of people sleeping on this.
It's very dope.
You know, a lot of people say it's quiet if you got this, but I think Homeboy should get some.
Okay, if you show up to a playground like this, pretty quiet.
With the bus right here, with the queer see-through acrid, look at that detail on that.
Real crazy.
And look, totally delicious.
American power, number one, rock and roll.
Like, why would you come here and then skip regular English to learn like a jump at a dialect that is that's not compatible with most there's a lot of L's and R's in that in that slang this reary hype it's just unfortunate is what it is it's okay so I haven't seen this but you're gonna show me uh the third because all good things come in three a third cringe what uh non-black ubonics it's amazing nbe now you can drop the needle anywhere on
as you say.
Oh, good.
My possession?
Yeah, I'm not scared.
What are you talking about?
So let me, the lead up is that they're going to play hoops to see who gets the sneakers.
Like, yo, I'll take, you can take my sneakers if you beat me.
But these guys aren't, they don't have Asian accents.
They're born here.
Right?
Correct.
Okay.
I'm going to lock you up right now.
Get the ball.
I'm going to freaking score on you.
All right, check it.
All top, man.
Shoot.
Why are you flinching?
Just give me the right dog, shoot.
I'm about to take those candy knives off your feet.
What side you want me to go?
Oh!
Oh my god!
Oh!
Oh!
It's over!
Do they call the baseball a rock?
Yes, the basketball.
They also call it...
I just got these.
Well, you say you're so good.
Why don't you put your game where your mouth is?
So what do you want to put on the line then?
If I'm going to put these keys up, what are you going to put up?
All right, if you win, I'll give you whatever I got in my backpack.
Whatever kicks I got in here.
Wait.
The slapping of the...
I got in my backpack.
Whatever kicks I got in here.
Who are you?
Who's he pretending to be a specific different black guy?
Yeah, that wasn't as good as I hoped.
It's cringy.
Eh, could be cringier.
No, those are bad people.
Okay, I'm on a bunch of weird chats now that I've been sequestered to the ghetto of the internet.
So, sometimes I get these stories and I'm like, this is...
this cannot be true.
But on the off chance it is, I found this...
where is it now?
Oh yeah.
Folks, this is not a news show, right?
I just try to show you interesting stuff and...
and try to expose clown world for what it is.
So, this is not...
Breaking news.
But I discovered this thing called a breeding fetish where women get pregnant on purpose.
They enjoy it.
They feel the gestation starting and then they go have an abortion.
Now, this is on a pro-life site and they're talking about killing babies for sexual pleasure and they scroll down.
Now, so first it talks about what abortion is.
I mean, it's...
it can tell it's written by an old lady and she's Christian.
But jump down to the actual quotes.
Why don't you read those for us as Johnny Depp?
Not a problem.
Now, go up.
You're way too far down.
Okay.
Are these them?
Uliava.
Yeah.
It's the Uliava tribe.
I have a female friend who has a really powerful fetish for breeding...
breeding she never used to any type of birth control she's a male partner who's currently just like her into breeding and they've been practicing their fetish for quite a few abortions i know this is a heavy subject for some but yeah yeah pretty heavy got to the point where i'm worried for her health i personally didn't study abortions i was wondering if it might seriously impact her she's like a sister to me keep going there's another one now read from klaus klaus 2018.
I know this fetish.
My girlfriend and me have the same fetish.
My girlfriend enjoys her pregnancies and she enjoys the abortions.
Her preferred date is to abort between the 20 and 24th weeks of gestation.
I enjoy making her pregnant.
Wait a minute.
24 weeks.
Go look up 24 week fetus.
What the fuck kind of planet are we living on?
If this is true.
I think there might be people on Reddit who just are sort of goth.
And they choose to make these characters.
Like remember that cop, the cannibal cop?
I think he went to jail.
Gil Valley, yeah.
He could have just been.
Didn't you have him on Pat Dixon's show?
Yeah, he's a good guy.
He writes books now and stuff.
Did he go to jail?
Did he lose his job?
I think, yeah.
I think he lost his job and went to jail.
Yes.
But he could have just been fantasizing about something that macabre.
Yeah.
But yeah, look, that baby's done.
It's good to go.
Week 24 highlights.
The dark and harmless line may show up on your belly.
Your kidneys are working overtime.
Feels like your stomach shrunk.
That's because of your expending uterus.
Brian, why would you show the woman?
No one gives a shit about the...
I once had a Freudian slip there.
No, but we want to see the size of the baby, not what the skin tone of the woman's belly is.
It's about that size.
Holy shizah.
That's a baby with little arms and everything.
A face.
Ears.
Oh my God.
If this is true, this is the most macabre thing I've ever heard of in my life.
Go back to the article, though.
And say it as Johnny Depp.
Too old to abort and too young to die.
I think they can survive at 19 weeks.
Really?
Yeah.
Go read another write-up, though.
Okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
Sexuality without prevention is very emotional and inexpensive.
Wow.
In the last 10 years, our relationship have done about seven abortions and my girlfriend is pregnant again with a little girl.
Abortion fetish is a great method for birth control.
Do not be angry about your girlfriend.
them enjoy their pregnancies and then abort terrific is that's their screen name this could be a this because i i couldn't find anything else about It's a very hard thing to Google, obviously, because a million things come up with abortion and pregnancy and all that stuff.
Yeah, they should have put screenshots if you know.
No, no, I think the Reddit exists.
They link to the Reddit.
Oh, they do.
But I'm just saying these people on the Reddit might just be trying to like, remember the free bleeding where a bunch of 4chan people convinced feminists that it was empowering to menstruate in your white jeans and they all fell for it?
By the way, that's become a thing now.
Even after 4chan exposed that it was a lie, they're still doing it.
Okay, keep reading the third one.
Abortion.
It's good and rare to hear of people, both men and women, where both members are into abortion and pregnancy.
This is a wonderful and potent example of personal power where sex meets violence and creation combines with the destruction.
That's something Johnny Depp would say.
Like Hunter S. Thompson type shit.
They were magnificent bastards.
Anyway, thank you for sharing your exciting romance and everyone would like to know about this latest abortion for you.
I can imagine that it's a very bonding experience between you and your partner.
Okay, I can't read anymore.
It's not a very bonding experience for the kids.
That is the most horrible thing I've ever read.
And we'll keep investigating that.
Another thing I like about this show is we have so many autists that watch that they inevitably do my homework for me.
And I'll get like 50 emails tomorrow explaining the origin of the fetish and who was arrested for it and blah, blah, blah.
I'll be an expert by tomorrow without doing any work.
Now, this story is fake.
Tannerite stuffed dog.
That's so mean, right?
So what happens is, you know what the freaks on the internet are calling the Boogaloo?
They're talking about the imminent civil war.
It could be us versus the government or the left versus the right, but they're all these prep guys.
They talk about when's the next, let's do the boogaloo.
Ready for the boogaloo?
So on these boogaloo sites, I told you I've been relegated to the dark corners, they have this, they say tannerite stuffed dog, hottest selling item on Amazon.
And the pretense is, right, you're not at home.
You go there, the FBI comes in, the first thing they do is shoot your dog, and it blows up.
So the people busting into your house and killing your dog instantly die.
But it's not a thing.
Okay.
What is a thing, though?
It could be a thing, though.
You could easily make that.
Yeah, well, they do as a joke, but it's not believable.
Like, they'll put tannerite in a teddy bear.
I think I sent you some links of that where they'll just like shoot a horse full of tannerite.
Yeah, this guy's shooting a stuffed horse full of tannerite.
Le Cheval?
Yes, that's the French word for a horse.
What are you doing?
Learning French.
That's better than that stupid German language.
Yeah, I'm starting now.
This one isn't that exciting.
So this is, when I looked, when I investigated tannerite stuffed dog, you just get stuff like this.
That's nothing.
Really?
Yeah.
That's cool.
I sent you the best tannerite video everywhere.
Any, what, ever, where this guy shoots a fridge and the fridge tries to kill him.
What?
Whoa!
Wowie kazoodles.
See, that's the kind of content I provide.
That's very good.
Did you rewind it?
It's obviously going to go into slow-mo.
Oh, okay.
Slow-mo, I mean.
Triple reviews.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
It's like someone of the Terminator when the fridges attack.
Boof.
That could have killed him.
Yeah.
Alright, I would have shit so hard I would have had permanent damage.
Permanent damage to my shitter.
So yeah, this has been a very weird show.
We started out with the Proud Boys politics stuff, people getting stabbed, going to jail, people doing fake accents, babies being murdered as a sexual fetish.
So let's wrap it up with some sanity from our viewers and dip into our male bag.
Hey, just pause.
You know, I just realized now with all this genderlessness, they talk about a woman's penis.
So you do have to specify is your scrotum male or female?
Male.
Because Caitlin Jenner has a female bag.
That's right.
And a female penis.
Did they call that a vagina?
Technically, it's a vagina.
Because that Jessica Tarnev chick was on Infowars and she was talking to Owen Schroer about her vagina, which is a penis.
And I think Vice had an article on how to perform oral sex on a woman's penis.
Apparently you don't suck it.
That's for men.
That's gay.
So I guess you somehow perform conilangus on the bag.
Meanwhile, there's a much more efficient way to do that.
Anyway, we're specifying.
Let's start the show.
This part of the show.
He's started the show already.
Good day.
Mailbag show.
Mailbag show.
Show the show.
The show.
This mailbag show.
Start this segment.
More of a segment.
Now it's starting.
Now we're in it.
Right.
Were our mics on when we were doing that?
It has begun.
Were our mics on?
Yes.
This one is a unique letter because I'm going to tell you my response.
Hi, Gavin.
I emailed Penthouse and GME about getting a refund.
Oh, sorry.
Let me start again.
G'day, Giv.
I emailed Penthouse and GME about getting a refund almost 12 months ago since the tour didn't seem to be happening at the time.
Since nothing has changed, here we are.
If you want to be known for shafting paying customers or associating with people who do, then there's no need to do anything.
That said, if you'd like to redeem yourself, could you please try and sort out a refund for me or at least point me in the direction of someone that will actually help?
Regards, Paul McCarthy.
The show is still on, I replied to him.
So fuck you and your refund.
Also, where the fuck do you get off emailing celebrities like they're your baby brother?
Would you expect a response if you emailed Iron Maiden about your goddamn tickets?
You're not relevant.
You don't control my reputation.
You're an insignificant shit stain with a very high opinion of himself because your parents did a terrible job.
Soon, this truth will hit you like a ton of bricks, and I'm glad.
Fuck you.
run through a mother f*ck a face.
Like that.
Anthony talks about this.
He says, Can you imagine emailing or tweeting at John Wayne?
I know I'm not a superhero legend like John Wayne, but you're the guy you bought the ticket to see, and you get to just email him and tell him, hey, you better fucking do something or you're going to be, I'm going to ruin your reputation.
How old is this shithead?
Can you come out of pocket with my refund even though you didn't receive any money for the ticket sales yet?
It's your problem.
And the show is on.
So deal with it.
Actually, I've been going back and forth with Damien Costa at Penthouse Australia about it.
My visas, we're about to put the visa through.
You know, it's millions of pounds of paperwork.
And yeah, it's taken an inordinate amount of time.
We were doing pretty well with Milo, and then Milo said something about the New Zealand shooting, and that brought us all back to square one.
So, what's that sound?
Sounds like a plane.
That's a weird sound.
I don't know.
It must be somebody dragging something.
Something monstrous and terrible.
Want another one?
Yeah.
A few years ago, I was celebrating about a decade in New York.
I'm a personal chef.
What is that sound?
It's not outside.
It sounds like it's our speaker feeding back.
I wouldn't say what's that sound if it was like...
What?
Is that an aircraft?
There's a plane just circling around the building?
Is this 9-11-2?
It's from you.
It's like speakers I think somebody Whoa What is that?
What are you talking about?
What is that?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You are the most gigantic pussy in the universe.
You are the vagina on a 650-pound life.
You are a vagina this big.
This is how you get cerebral palsy.
You're a gynecologist's nightmare.
What a pussy.
I want to be certain that's not real.
Where did that come from?
So I haven't worn this blazer in a while.
I come to work.
I'm walking around.
I feel something in the pocket.
It feels like a piece of poop.
Hand it to me.
And I go, did someone put feces in my suit?
And then I found this.
It's a hissing cockroach wind-up toy that you use to scare people.
And so I think, Ryan is a pussy.
I don't even have to do this.
I'm just going to leave it on his desk.
And that worked.
He just, I don't know if I can recreate what he did, but he just sort of went.
And then he started doing this contorting spat.
I did this.
I was like, like, really, really, really embarrassing.
That's a bug.
Huge.
Huge bug, frankly.
But that noise wasn't part of the gag, and I still, it's coming in and out.
You probably have some page open.
No, that is.
That's everything's a jack ma.
It sounds like somebody dragging something.
What, like in their building?
Yeah.
Or some construction being done or something.
Anyway, Detective Shitty.
That's my new nickname for Ryan because every theory he has is so bad.
Like the other day, it was 4 o'clock, and I go, oh, I got to go to this photo thing at 2.
And he goes, today?
Yeah.
That's why I'm starting up my time machine.
Or 2 a.m.
Yeah, I have to go to a photo shoot at 2 a.m.
I'm doing LA, there's some LA magazine, LA Weekly magazine that's doing a huge story on me.
So it could be a hit piece.
So should I, and I think, well, I mean, the studio is just down the street from our studio in Manhattan, Midtown.
So should I go over there and just pose for a hit piece?
We'll see.
Just doing the thing.
A few years ago, I was celebrating about a decade in New York.
I'm a professional chef, and up until that point, I considered myself a liberal.
That was until the dark and twisted version of the left began to transform into the insane mob that we see today.
I had worked hard and moved into a higher tax bracket, causing me to reevaluate my stance on taxes and politics.
Yeah, a conservative is a liberal who got mugged.
I was immediately and irrevocably red-pilled.
Then, Trump announced his candidacy, and New York City began foaming at the mouth.
The last straw for me came when a tattoo artist friend told another co-worker that he was pro-life.
A girl getting tattooed overheard this and promptly started an online campaign to boycott the shop and get him fired.
Well, it worked.
And with that, I decided to get out.
I moved to a small town in Upper Michigan because my girlfriend has family there.
It was the best decision I've ever made.
I walked into the kitchen on the first day of my new job, and there was more diversity there than I ever saw in New York.
In a New York restaurant kitchen.
There's that sound again.
It's like a radio feedback thing.
There.
You can almost feel it.
It's a physical moving of a thing.
Out of the four-person kitchen staff, there was a black guy, an Asian girl, a Mexican guy, and a white dude.
They were all wearing wedding rings, and it turns out they are all mega.
Then I started to notice some dramatic differences in people here.
People are kind to each other.
They smile in public.
People shake hands and say hello at the store.
People here love being American and value the family lives that they have built for themselves.
Everyone I work with makes a good wage.
We all work hard, but everyone understands that family comes first.
In New York, the concept of family seemed foreign to most people.
It always seemed like it never, never land.
So the two big things here is one, he starts making money and actually paying taxes.
Two, he gets a family and has kids and realizes how important things are.
Which is when you get pro-life, when you get conservative, when you start believing in God.
If this show comes out and there's a in the end, I'm not going to murder you.
I'm going to slowly kill everyone you know until you go insane and kill yourself.
I don't care.
Let me just adjust my camera.
You better hope and pray.
I don't know.
That's not a comment.
I took my headphones.
So when you are wearing headphones, off to hear it.
Sorry to bore you with all this minutia, folks, but we had, what, four days off?
So the first show is always rusty after a long break.
What you hear with your headphones is what the people at home hear, right?
Correct.
100%.
Correct.
I had to take my headphones off to hear it.
I took your advice and got married almost immediately after I realized that this was what the fabric of America really is all about.
This is such a great.
This one might be one of our best letters.
We are working on our first kid.
Sounds like a tough job.
My wife and I hold the same beliefs about conservative issues, and for that, I am very grateful.
There's also tons of cool shit to do here.
Just last week, we went to an antique tractor show.
There were tractor races, tons of food, and families wearing MAGA hats and shirts, all having a great time.
Leaving New York was the best decision I've ever made.
Thanks for everything.
So Northern Michigan, huh?
Upper Michigan.
Interesting.
All right.
Well, I think we're out of time, I'm afraid.
But before we go, I would like to introduce you to the richest man in China.
Now, the richest man in the world is apparently Jeff Bezos.
I don't know what's he worth, like $3 billion or $30 billion?
After it gets above $200 million, it kind of gets hard to spend.
Like, is someone who has $250 million poorer than someone who has $50 billion?
Is your lifestyle really that different?
He's $110 billion.
Jack Ma or Jeff Bezos?
Jeff Bezos.
$110 billion?
That's ridiculous.
What do you do with that?
That's one-tenth of a kajillion, right?
$110 billion.
You want to take a boat plane around the world?
It flies and goes underwater, and it's the size of a mini-mall.
We can bring up to 7,000 people.
Do you have 7,000 friends?
Do you want to eat gold bars and wear diamond shoes?
Yeah.
What the fuck do you do with that money?
Well, look up Jack Ma.
How much is Jack Ma worth?
Let me see.
Jack Ma, I think he made his money in construction.
$31 billion.
Oh, $31 billion.
That's not so much money.
That's nothing.
That's peasant noob shit.
Jeff Beato is a savage.
Jack Ma is a normie.
Total Normie noob.
So it turns out that Jack Ma is not just the richest man in China, he's also a retarded douchebag.
And this is what?
This is some company party he has, and he decides, I know it would be good for the entertainment.
No, actually, let's make this second.
First, let's do the Elon Musk one.
Where he's sitting talking to Elon Musk, and he's trying to sound profound.
And he says things like 99.99% of our predictions about the future are wrong, which I think we've been pretty good about the future with guesses.
And he also says he doesn't like artificial intelligence.
He prefers intelligence for individuals.
What?
Check it out.
I hate the word AI called artificial intelligence.
I call it Alibaba intelligence.
Yeah.
Oh, did he start Alibaba?
Or he owns Alibaba, that Chinese search engine?
Maybe, I don't know.
Might end up being true.
You never know.
Clearly, getting any information out, basically, with speech.
Yeah, I'm always amazed by what your vision about the technology.
I'm not a tech guy.
I think more about life.
I think AI is going to open a new chapter of the society, of the world, that people try to understand ourselves better rather than the outside world.
He makes fortune cookies for a living.
It's so difficult to predict the future.
99% predictions that human being had in history about the future, all wrong.
Including that one?
Oh, yeah.
Only, you know, the 0.00% of the prediction are right.
They're right because by accident.
Yeah, but it's also true that 80% of statistics are false.
Yeah.
So my meaning.
Cold room.
Come on, guys.
those drug that but it but is that i'm happy about the uh...
at the people Those people, I call them called college smartness.
People like us, street smart.
We're never scared of that.
We think it's a great fun and we want to change ourselves to embrace it.
I don't know, man.
That's like famous last words.
You couldn't evolve silicon circuits.
There needed to be biology to get there.
Good.
Good.
Well, let's talk about something fun.
What do you think about that?
Is autism contagious?
Because I'm worried.
I just came back from there, so.
This might be the biggest dork in the world.
I don't hate him.
No, he's not a douche.
No, he's not a douche.
He's totally useless.
So that's my view.
And also.
He's worth $19 billion, Elon Musk, by the way.
I hate to go to Himalayas too.
I mean, when you climb on the I think someday I will go there when the elevator is ready.
But that's my view.
Elon Musk has a cop head.
We will.
Yeah, he does.
All right, let's see Jack Ma celebrating, I don't know, 10-year anniversary of his company, and he chose himself as the entertainment.
And this is what you get to see when you work for Jack Ma.
Jack Ma?
I hardly know Ma.
The thing about Jack Ma is you don't really have to look hard to find clips.
100% of the time, he's the biggest dork in the world.
Dork doesn't feel quite right either.
Chief?
Boob?
Loser doesn't make sense.
Incompoop?
No.
Buffoon.
Nah, dork.
This isn't a buffoon.
Well, this is pretty buffoon.
Oh, no, buffoon, I guess, is like a sloppy...
He's on a motorbike?
With a mask?
What would you call Michael Scott from the office?
They're very similar.
Yeah.
A blowhard?
What does he do?
He's Michael Scott.
Right.
Yeah.
Jack Ma.
If you gave Michael Scott $20 billion, you'd have this.
Oh my God.
That would be a good show of the office.
He wins.
He has some amazing invention and he wins.
He becomes a billionaire.
He's a Dunderhead.
Michael Mifflin.
Look, he's wearing Michael Jackson's glove.
This is so brutal.
Ew.
Looks like me when I saw that bug.
Oh, no.
He's off rhythm.
He's just shaking.
This is the CEO of your company.
Oh, shit.
Hey, instead of spending $300 million on a party, can you just give us all a raise, please?
I don't really like care about lighting.
Guys, it's me.
It's me.
Big appraisal, Michael Scott Bishong.
But you didn't like to wiggle around to music, huh?
Yeah, totally.
He thinks that's magic.
Like, people go, what?
You can dance like that?
You shook your hips almost three times.
It's a magical display of lack of self-awareness.
That's his magic power.
With the power.
Totally oblivious.
The power to be invisible to myself.
Watch my shame.
Desapiro.
What do you think?
Oh my God.
Imagine we were in the audience.
I would be dead.
Yes, this is.
I would be laughing so hard, which is probably illegal in China.
He's got the face of like a discovered alien skeleton.
Yeah, he's got...
What's with his forehead?
He sits down in front of those caricature painters in New York City.
And they're just like, this is going to be easy.
So Alibaba's a search engine?
This is boring, by the way.
Yeah, this sucks.
Wait, so he opens the cages with the magic thing, and then tons and tons of his fellow co-workers come out.
This is unbelievable.
It feels so weird to call someone $20 billion a loser.
Yeah.
But he's a loser.
No, that is a big loser.
He's a loser.
That's a good way to put it.
Because you shouldn't be.
It's so hard to be a loser when you have that much money.
It's like Kim Jong-un.
Oh, this is Oh my god, this is so...
He couldn't hire like really good dancers, background dancers?
I think those are all the different executives at Alibaba.
Like the head of accounts is behind him.
That's how he claps.
Look at the clap.
So they're all working hard and they're making good salaries because they're the top executives in the country.
And he's saying, oh, no, it's Thursday.
We have to go to rehearsal from 5 to 10 p.m.
You can't see your kids today.
Right.
We have to keep working for this.
For this.
No one wants to be there.
No one is enjoying this.
No one on stage is having a good time.
And no one in the audience, what the fuck is he going to do now?
It's a big fucking head.
Now everyone at the company can punch me in the head as often as you want.
Wait, he has the strap.
Go back.
Yeah.
That's not his hair.
I think he has the strap hanging down.
Yes, he does.
So the strap, instead of like pulling it down, he just pushed it on his head.
So the strap is now...
He doesn't know how to put a helmet on.
Unbelievable, Op.
What an absolute fool.
He's the biggest fool I've ever met.
But yay, we love you.
Great show, boss.
Great show.
Hey, I love working here.
I love not seeing my family so I can rehearse a weird Michael Jackson mob dance that sucked.
I'm stunned.
So what's he doing?
Did he drive away in his motorbike?
This.
I don't.
Oh, there he is.
Well, he's going to ride his bike through them all.
Kill half of them.
Yeah, right.
Oops, sorry.
Hello.
Everybody's terrified.
Oh, maybe he puts the helmet on so a real guy can't dress the same.
What's he gonna do?
Jump over something?
This better end with something.
If he just drives away and they all go home.
This better end with a bigger explosion than the tannerite video.
What is this video?
We're way over time.
It's almost done.
That'd be funny if he gets in the cage with the motorbike and then all the walls fall down and then he drives off and everyone roars.
Wow.
He got out of the cage.
Is he gonna lift it up?
I don't know, man.
Yes.
He's lifting up his motorcycle cage.
Never thought a motorcycle could raise itself in elevation, huh?
Bet you didn't know I could fly.
This better end with Tannerite.
Tannerite CEO.
Biggest seller for the Boogaloo.
Wow.
What?
That's it?
Yeah.
That was craziness.
You know the craziness?
I've lived in China for a long time.
Not a long time, but I lived in China.
I guarantee you that no one there was laughing, and they all walked out saying, That was a great show.
Very good show.
That was a very interesting show.
Did you like the show?
Yes, I did very much.
It was very good.
Different culture.
They're very different than us.
Jack Ma, if you're watching, I don't know what your fellow workers are telling you.
I don't know what your advisors are telling you.
That was the worst, stupidest fucking show I've ever seen or anyone's ever seen.
It was like Cirque de Soleil for retards.
Buy retards.
I can't believe that you wasted all that money making such utter shit.
You are a billionaire Michael Scott.
And I'm now officially obsessed with you.
I'm going to be pursuing all things Jack Ma.
Be better.
Be better.
You couldn't be worse.
So there's nowhere to go but up.
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