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Aug. 29, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
56:39
GOML LIVE #10 | STREAKER ALERT

After chasing nude men around and getting high with teenagers, we take some calls and wonder if we took on too many sponsors.   (VIDEO VERSION ON CENSORED.TV)

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I'm out of the tabs in my room.
I don't know why, baby, but I'm feeling blue.
It was Jose Refusio Cuco Sanchez.
Cuco.
He's a kook.
And he's a Mexican celeb.
These are the wrong glasses.
These are my reading glasses.
I can see every nuance of this microphone, but I can't see the camera.
Yeah, popular Mexican kid.
Huge.
Very famous.
Big with the kids.
And that song is about him being high in his room.
That's big with the kids today.
Stoner music, like Lil Xan, named after Xanax.
Or that guy who died.
Remember that guy, Lil Pump?
Lil Peep?
That Lil Peep who did a video that showed tons of pill bottles in the bottom of his car and then he OD'd on pills.
That's not good.
We have how many opioid epidemics?
I mean, ODs a day?
I think it's a hundred.
Is that right?
Yeah, I think it is.
100 a day die from opioids.
20 black men die every day from gang violence.
What are the obesity-related causes?
Now I'm kind of freaking out because my daughter turned me on to the Cuco and she's hearing songs about being super high.
That's not good.
Nothing is good.
It's all degenerate culture.
I don't want you getting high, my dear.
Don't do that.
But you remember getting high when you were a kid?
Yeah.
I couldn't smoke pot like I might be able to smoke pot today if we were watching a movie or something if I was with my wife in a very Relaxed safe social environment, but the idea like remember that dude John at our old job at compound Yeah, he would go he took over for you when I fired you.
That's right.
He would smoke about a gram a day Yeah Every time there was a chance, more than going pee, he would go up on the roof and just smoke a bowl.
Yeah.
Especially with today's pot.
That would destroy me.
That doesn't fit in my head.
I can smoke a little weed.
I have weed usually in my little book bag.
I did it at my old job for a video.
I don't know if it's still online, but I said, all right, pothead, because our cameraman, Rob, when I owned the ad agency, he was a big pothead.
I said, all right, pothead, let's try some of your pot.
Let's try one of your marijuana cigarettes.
And I smoked it and got so high.
Oh, you have it?
I was on Fox News talking about it?
It looks like you were on Kennedy, yeah.
Yeah, that's the video.
No!
That's proof enough that marijuana should not be legal because Gavin McGinnis does not know how to control his role.
That was half of a bong hit, by the way.
Okay.
And I was lying on the floor with my shirt off.
Is that real?
Yes, I coughed.
I coughed for about an hour.
I'm not exaggerating.
Jesus, dude.
I hate that clip because my tie's not done up all the way.
Oof.
Yeah, that's a sloppy one, sir.
It's really irritating.
That's Camille Foster in that clip who does not think he's black.
The black one?
The black guy says he's not black.
And I go, what?
How are you not black?
He goes, people have different skin tones.
I have darker skin than you.
I'm not a black person.
Okay.
Could have fooled me.
Yeah, that time I tried it.
I got, I started a bad trip, obviously, instantly, and then got really scared.
And then I realized I got to call 911.
But the idea of having to be on a gurney And being wheeled out of the office and being in the elevator and seeing all those people.
I'm actually starting to have a paranoid bad trip right now.
Just talking about it.
So I didn't call 911, not because it wasn't an emergency, but because I wouldn't be able to deal with the EMTs and all those people.
So, I kinda, I get it when you talk about pot when you're a kid and you wanna sing about how high you are.
And it was fun, I remember just cooking up my brain as a kid, like when I say kid I mean like 21.
It was just like a frying pan, you just add some beer, add a bit of pot, like scrambled eggs, this is your brain on drugs.
And you knew you weren't gonna die, so you would just sit there watching TV, laughing at the late night infomercials, just baking yourself.
Baking yourself.
Do you ever see this clip?
Where the couple calls 9-1-1?
Yeah, don't make brownies, dude.
- Yeah, play it though.
- Okay. - Hi, they thought they'd overdosed and called 911.
- I think I'm having an overdose that has killed my wife.
Overdose of what?
Marijuana.
But I don't know if it had something in it.
Can you please send rescue?
Do you guys have fever or anything?
No, I'm just... I think we're dying.
How much did you guys have?
I don't know.
We made brownies and I think we're dead.
Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.
I heard that was a cop.
Really?
Yeah, I heard it was a cop who confiscated someone's marijuana.
It says that, yeah, cop overdose on popper.
Oh wow.
Yeah, and then he did himself.
I am very excited about these new shirts, folks.
Hate has no home here, has no home here.
Isn't it wonderful?
You can get it at freespeech.tv.
I'm told I should be plugging the site more on this podcast.
And the apps.
And the apps.
We've got a new app.
Freespeech.tv has an app.
Google's got it.
Android's got it.
And it's going to improve over time.
Right now, the fun feature is that it keeps playing when you leave the whatever show.
You can still listen to the show and look at your phone and do other stuff.
But shortly we will have a downloading capability.
So you can download shows for your car trip and just listen to the audio.
Stuff like that.
But this, as you know, I fucking hate hate has no home here signs.
I've done many videos of it.
It means I hate Trump.
I hate free speech.
I hate Republicans.
I hate immigration law in general.
I hate borders.
It means a lot of hate.
And it also signifies I'm better than you.
You'll never see the hate has no home here sign on a house with an American flag.
It means I love diversity and open borders, but not in my neighborhood.
I don't want to be around visible minorities, and I definitely don't want the schools rezoned in my area so my kids are surrounded with poor people.
Ill.
But, when it comes to servants, like my au pairs, my nannies, my maids, and restaurants, people serving me, people cleaning my underwear, when it comes to that, I want open borders.
So basically, when you see this sign, it means a cunt lives here.
And the thing I love about this shirt is, people are going to see you wearing it and they'll go, oh cool, you're one of, oh no you're not.
So it's a delicate little fuck you.
No, delicate's not the word.
It's a surreptitious fuck you.
Peek-a-boo.
Of course, people just listening to the audio of this podcast don't know that I was peek-a-booing the finger.
An F-you.
You know what I want to see?
Folks at home, if you have lots of free time on your hands, can you do a topographical map of the finger?
Where I'm from, Montreal, in Ottawa, this was fuck you.
The finger is separated from everything else.
It's very big and alone.
And it's completely erect, straight up.
Now, I've seen a lot of this in America, where the thumb is out and the knuckles are bent down.
Yeah.
There's also this, where you bend it.
The whole fist is bent like you're gonna punch someone, and then the finger's up.
What do you do?
What's your natural tendency?
You know, I don't know, but I rarely... Give me the finger.
See what happens.
I rarely ever... Oh, so you get the knuckles up.
Oh, I do get the knuckles up, yeah.
See, I rarely use the finger, but my friend did something notable.
He would just do this.
Like, if you said something shady to him, he'd just be like this.
He would just put it, like, not even direct it towards you, just kind of put it up.
That might just be his trademark.
That's him.
Nathan.
That's my friend Nathan.
I give the finger every day.
You do?
I got the finger at Strange Love.
Oh, really?
I gave them the thumbs down.
And then the bartender gave you the finger?
Yes.
This is the bar in New York City that I walked into yesterday, and not one step did I take in the bar before they said, you are not allowed in here.
Get out.
Get out.
That's when it happened.
Yeah.
And I go, that's kind of racist.
Everybody knew it, too.
Really?
Yeah, because they have nothing to do with their lives, so they told them the story of when you walked in there.
Whoa!
That's the entire story, by the way.
Yeah.
That I walked in there.
The end.
I didn't do anything.
And then I filmed it, and we showed it on the show, and then we called it the official Proud Boys Bar.
And their reviews, and I encourage you to go there and talk about what a great bar it is, how friendly they are, and how it's one of the few places in New York where you can wear a MAGA hat and feel comfortable.
It's a pro-Republican punk bar.
And that is the meanest thing you can do.
All of this, like, I'm gonna sue you for kicking me out for wearing a MAGA hat.
That's gay.
Yeah.
Don't, don't...
Don't attack them that way with your lawyers.
I'm gonna get my lawyer.
Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, but being litigious is lame.
Now, when it comes to the SPLC, I have no choice.
But that's a huge suit that we've already spent about $200,000 on.
But little petty boycotts?
I think it's much funnier just to make it the Magabar and to photograph yourself.
Ooh, photograph yourself.
I wish I was on Instagram.
Photograph yourself there wearing a hat.
What's this?
Wearing a MAGA hat and hashtag them.
Yes.
And just make them the Magabar.
As soon as I walked into this bar I felt the overwhelming presence of inclusion and togetherness.
As a proud boy, with an I, I got a tingle that shoots up my leg when I think about how this joint does not discriminate against people who are white, black, or brown, or for what political beliefs they have.
I can't wait to meet other PBs and share the gospel of God, King Daddy Trump, and the gospel of King of Kings at Strangelove.
Isn't that funnier?
Yes.
How about the Griffin Bar in LA who had to shut down because they didn't kick out Proud Boys fast enough?
Even though they closed their place for three days to do diversity and inclusion training and then they had a benefit where they gave all the money to the SPLC and the ACLU?
Yeah.
Not good enough.
Was there like a racist clock of like five guys?
This is almost racist.
It's fucked up.
Get the fuck out of here!
That's what you have to do.
Get the fuck out of here!
Because even if they don't leave the establishment, you're on the record for saying get the fuck out of here immediately.
Oh, by the way.
Yes?
We got a care package also.
We not only got those awesome shirts, but, uh, we got all this cool stuff.
What do you got?
Sent to us by Devin.
Hey, Devin!
At Shooter Fleming.
No, thank you.
What?
No, no, no.
Why?
I don't want your shit.
I don't want your presence.
An extra-large Cro-Mag shirt.
I don't want it.
I'm 49.
I'm not wearing a Cro-Mag shirt.
I will.
The record?
I don't want that record.
Why do I want to have a shit-splattered record?
That's one of the best bands in the Pittsburgh scene.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm not looking for some new band.
And a G.G.
Allen belt buckle?
When are you going to wear that?
G.G.
Allen's birthday.
Today, dog.
I don't care.
No one actually likes G.G.
Allen.
They like the concept.
They think it's funny.
They think it's funny that he has a song called Anal Cunt.
He's had this for ten years.
He gave this to us.
Well, you should have kept it, dude.
I don't want your crap.
For ten years, I hid this hideous hunk of junk in my ass.
From Pulp Fiction?
I don't know.
And then, like, beef jerky?
I'm not going to eat food sent to me by a stranger.
I am.
It's packaged.
They could put a syringe with LSD in it.
The story behind is very interesting.
It's a guy who he had a jerky thing like in his garage and the demand was so high he opened up a shop.
It's called Rougarou.
The local guy.
It's an old guy.
He just did a free ad for them.
I don't care.
And folks at home, please do not send us your junk.
It just piles up here.
I don't want boxes and boxes of crap.
I don't want a Gigi Allen belt buckle.
This awesome knife.
What are you doing sending a knife?
I didn't send it.
Oh, you're talking to him.
Why would you do that?
I'm going to send a stranger a knife.
I want a knife.
I like the knife.
I like all the things.
They're great.
And thank you.
We don't do free ads on the site.
But we do do paid ads, and we have a new sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
Get it?
Sounds like Johnny Appleseed?
So go to J-A-C-B-D.
JohnnyAppleCBD.com.
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And you know what CBD is?
Are you clear with this?
All the guys at my gym talk about it all the time.
Oh yeah?
It's like pot without the high part.
And apparently they all swear by it for inflammation.
Absolutely, it's good.
It's good for healing Even like cracked ribs.
It takes the pain away.
Yeah the pain away You have to use promo code Gavin when you go there and buy anything But I would definitely if your guy works out a lot definitely try it Try it on your wounds, you know when you have with that intense workout day And you can't walk the next day or you can't raise your arms higher than here when you do an arms day You can take the gummies It's the most trusted brand in CBD since 2015 and that's a long time in CBD land because it's a relatively new concept.
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That's right.
I am feeling a little bit jittery.
I had some Covfefe, which is another sponsor of ours.
Comes in three different types.
So do I. You come in three different types?
Oh, you mean like three different types of chicks you ejaculate into?
Yeah.
That's disgusting.
Hot, not hot.
Dude, what are you doing, man?
I'll never... I was telling this story the other day.
One of my favorite memories from my single days was I got super hammered.
And you know when you wake up, you're horny?
Yes.
Do you know why that is?
No, no.
Your body thinks you're dying.
Oh, I see.
So it wants you to inseminate as much as possible before you die.
That makes sense.
Trees do this too.
If a tree is diseased, it'll start seeding like crazy, because it thinks this is the end.
And I thought, God, I wish I had a girl in my bed right now.
Like, I was praying to God, just like in Animal House, where the playboy bunny comes through the window.
Do you remember?
You should dig that up.
Okay.
And the kid goes, thanks, God!
By the way, the guy in that video, he's a born-again Christian now.
The little kid is all grown up.
Wow, that's good.
Can you play that?
I love, I don't know why I love this scene.
Probably because I remember praying to God for a naked lady when I was a kid.
It looks like a cartoon.
Yeah.
Thank you, God!
That is art.
Holy shit, that is my favorite movie.
He's reading Playboy.
A Playboy bunny comes through the window and he goes, thank you, God.
Anyway, somebody says, checkmate, atheists.
So I was just lying there.
Oh, well.
Life isn't fair.
To my right was a Jewish six that I forgot I brought home the night before.
Thank you, God!
Oh my God, it was the best!
You don't want a supermodel.
Wait, God gives you a Jew?
Yeah.
I don't know if you've ever had sex with the Chosen Ones, but... Ah, yes I have.
Wow, it's a wild ride.
They're not like, you know, some girls will say like, smack me!
Smack my ass!
They'll be like, kill me!
Like the dirty talk from the Judaisms.
That'll melt your ears, boy.
And not so much in Montreal, which is very Jewish, but in New York City.
That was my bread and butter for a long time.
But speaking of bread and butter, that's all part of this cavefe.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God, for cavefe.
Delicious coffee.
How can they get it?
Well, covfefe.com.
Do you covfefe.com, so C-O-V-F-E-F-E.
So D-O-Y-O-U, and then C-O-V-F-E-F-E dot com.
Yeah, do you covfefe.
That's what we have here at the show, and it is a kick in the pants.
Alright, let's get nude.
Oh, okay.
Take off all your clothes.
Gotcha.
Okay, here I go.
I want to see your penis.
Alright.
We obviously don't have bottoms on.
That's why we call this... We're known in the building when we come to the lobby as the piglet crew.
Because we just wear a shirt and no pants.
I forgot that I... That you what?
Got a tattoo of a cross?
Yeah, I keep forgetting.
It's kind of alarmingly close to a swastika.
How?
Because it's so bold looking?
Yeah, like that's the same kind of wit and strokes that a swastika would have.
It's missing a couple parts.
Yeah.
It's like an Ikea swastika that you just got lazy.
You're not done yet.
It's an unfinished swastika.
Oh, you better stay away from that erasing hate guy who's going to power wash it off your chest with three strokes.
You know, I watched that again and I really, the stance that he took to try to like I'm really getting rid of this hate.
Did you see that?
Yeah.
Bad.
How about the fact that there's thousands of swastikas all over Montreal?
Yeah.
Is Montreal Nazi central?
Well somebody made the comment on his video that his previous job was drawing swastikas all over Canada.
We should show the video in case people don't know what we're talking about.
We're talking about some clown who has erased the hate.com or something, and he's volunteered to go around the city erasing swastikas with his special paint, his magic paint.
His magic sort of solvent, I should say.
And the swastikas, which are allegedly spray-painted on, they come off like nothing.
Like eraser boards.
And they have him just... And there's dozens of them!
When was the last time you saw a swastika anywhere?
I don't know.
I don't know if I ever have.
No.
But you know what I have seen?
Those construction marks on the concrete where it's like a yellow line, where it's like, this shit has to get fixed, this is a pipe.
Why doesn't he license it to them?
The city doesn't have technology.
Say the city was covering swastikas.
After maybe two days, because these take seconds to erase, you're done.
Yeah.
Like, making the t-shirt that says Erase the Hate would take more time than getting rid of all these fake swastikas.
There's no need to have a shirt.
People are so gullible.
This is the one where it looks like he's like physically scraping.
Look at the little inching towards with the legs.
Yeah, really?
I gotta get that swastika off.
Ew.
Anyway, I wanted to take some time to look at some nude men.
I'm gay for men.
I love men so much it's indistinguishable from homosexuality.
Outside of the sex, I just love men.
And in an era where we're told that men are garbage, it's nice to sort of check them out once in a while.
No, not that one.
Yeah, no.
This player's all messed up.
So I put together a nude montage where we can look at various nude men.
Now, I'll start with the classic.
You've probably seen this one a million times.
It's a nude man beating up cops and escaping by doing a backwards somersault.
Everyone's seen this, right?
I haven't.
You really?
No.
Oh, my God.
The audio is great, too.
It looks like Harry Shafir.
Look at that.
Three cops can't hold him down.
They're tasing him, by the way.
Oh, he just smacked one in the face.
Then he did a backflip.
And he's off.
Was that a punch or a slap?
I don't know.
It was loud.
He's being tased.
Oh my gosh!
That cop looks like he's never been punched before.
Like, you know the first time someone gets punched in the face?
They hold their face like, what the hell was that?
He's never been punched.
I think it's a slap.
You know what it might have been?
He may have been electrified when he slapped him.
Oh, wow.
Because he was being tased, he was like... That's a great theory.
So he maybe slap-shocked the cop.
Let's hear that again.
Which is why... Yeah, it's there.
Sorry to laugh at a cop being smacked.
All right, so that's a great one.
He has the agility of like Mango, that character that Chris Kattan did on SNL, that would just eat the apples.
Look at him go.
This is another reason why we can't have female cops.
Or meth.
All right, let's see some more nude men.
All right.
All righty then.
What's this one now?
Why are you naked?
Oh, this is it.
Somebody's trying to kill me.
Okay.
Women do.
Women are so used to being moms, this is especially true of teachers, that they're so used to talking down to people and giving people permission because they're kids, that when they get into the real world they talk to us like we're their kids.
Lady, you're not the boss of nude men.
You're not the world's mother.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why are you naked?
Someone's trying to kill me.
Okay.
Let's watch that one again.
Yeah, go play.
Why are you naked?
Somebody's trying to kill me.
Okay.
How is that an excuse?
Okay, go about your business.
That's amazing.
That was a good one.
That's amazing.
Next.
Oh, this is a naked woman.
That happened a little too quickly.
That was a naked woman being tased.
Have you ever been tased?
Yes, but not that type of taser.
Oh, the little zapper?
Yeah, yeah.
Just burns.
I couldn't imagine.
I will say though, like I see some of these videos, I think one's coming up, Where a guy, oh, hold on with that one.
A guy's getting pepper sprayed in the face.
I've been pepper sprayed.
It is debilitating.
It's not just that your eyes hurt, it confuses your brain.
So when I see people get pepper sprayed and keep going, I'm in awe.
Yeah.
All right, this is American Ninja.
This is too good.
Shenanigans.
This is 32-year-old Nate Mitchell.
Yeah, Nate is a very strong competitor.
You know, rock climber, upper body strength here.
Oh!
What?
This is atrocious.
Atrocious, I hate that word.
That can move.
We've got to see.
That's Matt Eisenman.
You're not a sport until you have a streak.
Wow.
American Ninja.
Oh!
Oh, look.
You know, guys do all the courses.
This is too good.
Shenanigans.
And he's not totally naked.
He's not?
No, look at that.
That's nude colored.
You can tell there's a differentiation between his skin and the butt, and it's not tan line.
Wait, wait a minute.
First of all, Matt Iseman's a doctor.
Why is he so freaked out by a penis?
I don't know.
Like they keep going, oh no, my eyes!
Right.
It's just a nude man.
Don't you see them at the gym every day?
Isn't it weird that Matt Iseman knows us both by name?
Yeah.
No?
He's on TV.
He's a TV man.
I know lots of famous people's shit for brains.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Well, I think it's weird for me.
By the way, people say, what's the matter?
You can't hear me?
You got shit in your ears?
I, yesterday, had stool softener in my ears.
Did I talk about this on the show?
You did.
Two days ago.
I can't believe it worked!
Oh no, you didn't talk about it working.
Oh yeah, it worked!
I can hear perfectly out of this ear now.
Amazing.
Stool softener.
I had stool softener in my head.
And it's flavored, it's like pink cherry.
So you could taste it?
I think streaking is a really good idea.
Yeah, I'm gonna try it out.
First offense, if you don't have a criminal record, you're just gonna get a misdemeanor.
It's it's like public lewdness and trespassing or something depends on where you are if you're too close to a school or some goofy shit now They're not they say that's of course that's possible.
I think the maximum is three years in prison and a thousand dollar fine They're not gonna do that.
That's insane.
We don't have room in the courts for crap like that It'll be a misdemeanor a slap on the wrist and you'll be banned from that particular place I was at a Mets game once, and we had really good seats, and I thought, I could undo my pants, do most of the work sitting down, and I could write freespeech.tv on my chest, and have a million eyeballs.
If I were to streak across this place right now.
And that's the type of endorsement that would get clicks?
Yeah.
Well, it represents our brand.
I think we're streakers.
Yeah.
Pro streaking.
It was huge in the 70s.
When I was a kid, everyone stroked.
Stroked.
Streaked.
Streaking.
Everyone was a streaker.
I streaked.
Have you streaked?
Yeah, after a talent show.
I was with a couple of these girls that were my friends, and I did like a naked cartwheel and streaked, and it was pretty great.
In Vice days, I used to streak around the office when we had a big loft space.
I would streak around everyone's desk.
Yeah, you're no stranger to streak.
That was pre-Me Too.
I couldn't be less concerned with nudity.
Yeah.
I could not care less.
Maybe it's because I'm well-endowed, but I've never been remotely uncomfortable.
Oh, but getting nude, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got kicked out of the stand for pulling my penis out.
That's right.
Well, now the second one's open.
You want to give it another shot?
Aaron Berg did a whole speech about how disgusting foreskins are.
That was his entire set.
So when I came on, I said, they're not that bad, and then I pulled my penis out.
That turns his whole thing into a setup, and then you'd... That's great.
It's genius, but...
And there was girls there and he said he had to give everyone their money back.
The manager never spoke to me ever again.
We used to talk on a daily basis.
And his last words to me were, now I must turn my back to you.
That's dramatic, man.
Because you raped people's eyes.
All right, let's see some more nude men.
All right.
All righty.
This is a good old-fashioned streak.
G-A-F-S.
G-O-F-F.
He's got a nice body.
I think if I was a chick, this is the kind of guy I'd want.
Like a Burt Kreischer kind of a brute.
I'd be into brutes.
Yeah, you want a brute.
A bear.
I want a man to take me in the night.
That's Joe Biggs right there.
Yeah, he's not spelled.
I would date Joe Biggs if I was gay or a woman.
He's got daddy vibes.
I don't want David Beckham.
You know, I don't want to be blowing some dude and look up and see a six-pack.
Some fucking man seal?
No, I want to be ravaged by a pig.
Yeah.
A hairy pig.
And a stinky old dude.
Yeah.
Who farts in bed.
Yeah, that's my guy right there.
He's got a good strategy going here, doesn't he?
What is it?
Well, it's like he's sizing up where security is.
Sometimes he runs.
Sometimes he slows down, sizes them up.
Okay, I'll stop.
I'll stop.
I'll stop.
No, I won't stop!
It's like judo, like you wait for the opponent to move and then you... What is the charge gonna be?
Look, that one cop had to take his hat off.
When I tackle nude men, I take my hat off.
You don't want to get penis on your hat.
Three counts of being awesome.
Honey, your hat smells kind of penis-y.
Yeah, we had to tackle a streaker today, I got penis all over my hat.
And then he learned.
This is the one with the pepper spray.
I think this is less funny than the other ones because I believe this perp was wanted for a triple homicide.
Oh jeez.
So this cop keeps pepper spraying this nude guy.
It does not slow him down.
He acts like someone threw, I don't know, apple juice in his eyes.
It just affects how he blinks a little bit.
And now he's chasing him?
Yeah.
Why are you running, by the way?
It's just a nude man.
Right.
You've got an AK-47 on your back.
Kick his legs out.
Yeah, just beat him up.
You're a cop.
Look, he starts straggling some random guy.
The random guy, by the way, just sits there going, Ow!
Ow!
Fight him!
Oh, it's an old guy.
Am I endorsing violence?
Look, he runs away again.
Rubbing his eyes.
Is that all we got for nakedness?
I don't know.
This is a long clip, man.
Now they're in the woods.
Now there's a blockade.
Now he's going through those naked people.
You see, nobody wants to get him.
He's a slippery guy.
They had to stick a dog on him.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Imagine that.
Wow.
It'd be easier to fight a nude guy, wouldn't it?
You can see exactly where to punch.
Right.
Hell of a turnout there.
Yeah.
I guess cops are scared of nude guys because someone is clearly out of their fucking mind.
All right, I'm gonna put my clothes back on.
Okay, I'm not.
You're not?
Stay nude.
I'm gonna S-N.
That's Ryan's motto.
Stay nude.
Every time he sees people on the street, people go, Ryan!
He goes, stay nude!
That's how he ends all phone calls, too.
All right, man, stay nude.
See ya.
All right, bye, mom.
Stay nude.
Stay nude.
No, the best ways to end phone calls are apology accepted, love you, White power.
Yes.
And now stay nude.
Let's start taking calls, but before we do... Let me put the number up here.
I want to talk about my bookie.
It's a new season.
Antonio Brown is on the Raiders.
LaVon Bell is with the Jets.
Odell Beckham is in Cleveland.
The one thing that hasn't changed is where I'm putting my money down on all the games.
My bookie is the place to bet on football every weekend.
My bookie has better bonuses and more prop bets than any other sports book, period.
This year they're hosting the first online handicapping super contest.
First place is guaranteed to win at least a hundred grand and it only cost a hundred bucks to enter.
If you want to make football fun, bet on the game.
It totally changes everything.
Every...
Touchdown, the other team scores, is physically painful.
Every run the other team gets hurts you.
God damn it did the Mets ever suck last night.
Noah Syndergaard played the worst, literally the worst game of his career.
He just kept giving up runs.
The entire, it was a shit show.
Luckily I was so drunk that I passed out before the end of it.
All you gotta do is pick five NFL games against the spread every week to climb the leaderboard and score your share of the huge cash prize pool.
So, my bookie is always the right player.
You bet, you win, they pay.
My bookie has live in-game betting on every NFL game.
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That's M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E.
And don't forget to use the promo code GAVIN.
By the way, my name is McInnes because my grandfather was a bookie.
And his name was McGinnis.
And no Scotsman would trust an Irishman back then.
So McGinnis sounds very Irish, so he changed it to McKinnis because that sounds more Scottish.
And he was such a mathematical genius that he would recalibrate the odds in his head as he got bets.
Constantly reworking what the payout would be.
Incredible.
Unfortunately, he was also a fervent communist who was the head of the paper unions in Glasgow at the time.
That's Johnny McInnes, by the way.
My cousin has a bunch of letters that he wrote that have been framed demanding all these different things.
And you know what they, you know what Johnny did?
The paper employees became so well paid that the entire industry shut down.
The tabloid was invented in Glasgow.
And that industry just croaked because the unions squoze them to death.
I'm having trouble with the past tense of verbs today.
Squeezed.
Well I'm thinking of Windy City Heat when they convinced Perry to say that he missed a meeting because he was raped and the bottle broke in his ass and one of the lines, he's obviously lying, but when he's telling a lie he says, and I mean I didn't want to squeeze but I squoze and it broke.
He's adorable.
I didn't want to squeeze but I squoze.
My mom said, she's talking about flinch or whatever she says, and I squinch every time I hear it.
What the fuck is squinch?
Squinch.
Remember when you said, I don't give a shit about my mom.
You said, I love you more and I don't care if you die tomorrow.
We have some funny train, uh, train rides.
That could be its own show.
A little gay black guy on the train yesterday was amusing.
Yeah, yeah.
He was amused by us.
What did he say?
We had a disagreement.
I gave some kid some advice, and he said, no.
Oh, we're talking about getting raped.
Yeah, this skater kid came up to you saying he's a big fan and whatnot.
I put a chain on, by the way, my training chain.
And so you said, careful out there.
It was like a nice neighborhood he was getting off in, so it was like, it's pretty bad out there.
He'd probably want to rape you.
Oh yeah, I said clench if you get raped.
And then the gay guy goes, no, don't, just relax.
That'll hurt more.
Yeah, what a weird exchange.
I didn't know he was gay until that moment.
By the way, folks at home, Ryan is talking about his training chain, meaning a cheap plastic piece of shit chain that he wears.
So he knows what it's like to have a chain.
So if he eventually gets money, he'll buy an actual gold chain.
That is a training chain.
Yes, you heard that correctly.
Train chain in vain.
All right, um, let's take some calls.
All right, we got three.
They're being screened.
Gotta give them a second.
What's your name?
Where are you from?
Oh, Joey about the recession.
Hey, Joey.
Oh, that's loud.
That's Joey's house.
Are you removing hate?
Hello?
Hello?
He put us on hold.
All right, I got it.
And then he's doing his... Sir?
Sir?
Joey!
So that's what goes on at Joey's house.
All right, that's enough of that.
All right.
Worst injury.
Hello?
Hello?
Worst injury.
That's me.
What do you got, buddy?
Hello?
I wanted to know what his worst injury was and how he handled it.
Gavin's.
whose worst injury, mine?
Gavin's.
Okay, thanks for calling.
Let's, what was, let me try to figure that out.
So he thought he was talking to a screener.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
His, when you talk about his. - No, you were on the show.
Yeah.
I think I broke my wrist once.
I remember in school I broke my wrist, got a cast.
One time I was in Paris with my wife and we were drunk and I said, do a cartwheel on the top of that bench.
Like, you know, the thing you lean back on.
I thought she could just go boop, boop.
And do a cartwheel and she goes, no, I'm not doing that.
Are you stupid?
And I go, it's easy.
Watch.
And I ran and I did it and I broke my collarbone.
And I remember feeling kind of like sick and going, oh, something bad just happened.
I could feel the bone poking out.
So I went to the, we got in the cab.
I said, take us to the hospital.
They take us to the children's hospital and they go, we deal with children here.
You need to go to an adult hospital.
You're a grownup.
Thanks, fucking.
So then we get in another taxi and we go there and it's just looking like we're there I think It wasn't the weekend I proposed to her, but we only had like three days in Paris And I thought, I'm not spending my entire vacation waiting in an emergency room.
I thought my shoulder had just been popped out, and I thought all you have to do is just sort of like pop it back in.
I didn't realize I had a broken collarbone.
So I would grab on a doorknob and go like this.
Oh no, dude.
And yank, because I was trying to yank it back in place.
Meanwhile, all I'm doing is making the shards go like that.
You're just rupturing it further.
So then I said to my wife, she was my girlfriend at the time, I go, watch this.
And I just went.
And I fell back and started convulsing.
I had a fake seizure on the floor of the hospital.
And they whisked me off.
Don't make that into a Z Kyle.
They whisked me off to the front of the line.
And you know what you do with a broken collarbone?
What?
Nothing.
You just pray?
There's nothing you can do.
It's like the rib.
It's permanently deformed.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh fudge.
All right, next.
You're lucky I had a good story for that because that's a pretty boring question.
Yeah.
Hey, uh, Akila.
Views on marriage.
Akila, you're on.
Hello?
What's up, Akila?
Boy, we're having some trouble here.
Is it us or them?
I don't know.
I clicked take the call and it didn't work.
Uh, how about Andrew?
This is getting embarrassing, Ryan.
It's just one call.
It happened.
Hey, uh... No, we've had like three fuck-ups.
Andrew from Temecula.
Yeah, what's up guys?
This is Andrew from Temecula.
What's Temecula, San Diego?
Temecula in California.
Oh, that's a weird name.
It's like a little town with winery.
It's kind of boring.
Golf places.
But, yeah, my question is if you guys are going to have any more segments with your brother Miles McKenneth.
Should we bring Miles back?
Oh, Miles McKenneth?
Hell yeah!
Okay.
I gotta ask Ezra.
I signed a contract with him saying that Miles is his territory.
You know they banned Miles from Twitter?
Ezra's very litigious, by the way.
And not petty stuff.
He sues every single person who calls him a Nazi or anyone at the rebel a Nazi.
And he said you should too.
In America, it doesn't work.
I've talked to lawyers about that.
And the lawyers, especially in the past few years, have gone and said, we can't really sue for that word anymore.
It means jerk.
The left has diluted it so much that it doesn't really have any meaning anymore.
I got to go soon and get a haircut.
We got from the bank.
I called boys.
I don't know what that means.
You're on.
Sir.
So I've seen two interviews with Enrique Terrio, and my question is, why is the interviewer so terrible?
Like that vice lady, which is Ladina, Ladina, and the CNN person.
Boy, they're hard to watch.
Well, you know, one of the reasons Proud Boys chose the word Western chauvinist is because they knew that journalists are illiterate and won't ever look up the word chauvinist and just assume it means male chauvinist.
So it's a misdirect.
It's a trick.
And they always fall for it.
You're a group of male chauvinists.
Nope.
Wrong.
And the fun thing about interviews with Enrique and Proud Boys in general is the journalists are so half-assed.
Half of them are affirmative action hires, too.
That they give away their agenda so quickly in the interview.
It's funny, too, because the left has put all their eggs in the hate-has-no-home-here basket, and they go, all right, there's Nazis everywhere, there's white supremacists, anyone who likes Trump is a Nazi.
Then they meet a black Trump supporter and have a nervous breakdown because they're not prepared for that.
Next caller.
Okay, we got Daryl.
I got a couple questions for you, thanks.
Okay, Daryl.
What's up, Gavin?
Yo, dawg.
Alright, listen, man.
You guys gotta put on your website what time you're actually gonna come out live, because I'm there, you got two o'clock, and you guys been coming on at twelve.
Yes, today... Today is unique, I'm sorry.
Your brother, forever, as far as I'm concerned.
What?
Your brother!
Your fake brother.
You should keep him off the show, for sure.
Oh, he sucks?
Yeah, he sucks.
It's corny?
It's annoying.
I mean, it's okay.
I get it.
But it's over.
Yeah, I kind of feel that way too.
And again, I like just saying what I have to say.
I don't like having to twist it and cloud it in irony and sarcasm.
It's not that fun.
Right.
Although, I told the Rebel, sorry, Blaze, right before I was fired, I said, "You guys need to do a news show that's liberal where you just talk and say what the left is saying with a straight face." Like white nationalist Donald Trump today said blah, blah, blah.
And like all the crazy things they believe, just say them as a news show.
And it would be hilarious.
would be like SNL updates right we're going to get rid of fossil fuels in ten years according to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez we will Did you have one more question, Daryl?
No, that's it.
Thanks, buddy.
Bye.
Like you more than a friend.
All right.
Dustin from Houston calling about the Ryan Show.
It's actually the Gavin's mailbag, but with Ryan.
Go ahead.
Yeah, man.
How's it going, guys?
I was just calling Mitch Curd and Ryan never does another show by himself ever.
Done.
As soon as I downloaded the app, that was the first thing I saw and I was like, why are they promoting this shit?
But I was wondering if y'all have had a problem with all the reality shows nowadays having all the sexual fluid people on it.
There's a show on MTV called Are You the One?
It's like all fluid people and it's like it's complete clown world.
I don't know if y'all caught any of that, but yeah, that's all I had.
Okay, thanks for calling.
Is he talking about the over-sexualization in reality shows?
Yeah.
It's not easy being a dad.
MTV's Are You The One.
With all this porn everywhere.
Humanizing trans stories.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Why are they so determined to make sure our kids are okay with homosexuality?
I don't want my kids knowing about any sexuality.
There's sort of this assumption that little gay kids are getting bullied.
I haven't seen the evidence of that.
Like at the Mets a few games ago, they had this massive Mets logo in rainbow, and it was like the Pride and Tolerance Day, and it was, there's a campaign called Shred the Hate.
Shred Hate!
And all the Mets players are there being gay, wearing gay colors, and shredding hate, and you're like, Okay so you guys don't want us to pick on little gay seven-year-olds?
Is that a thing?
Are gay seven-year-olds being bullied?
Remember when you're a kid you know that that one kid is gay.
In high school it was David Ibbotson and we didn't really pay attention.
He hung out with all the hot chicks and we basically just saw him as a chick.
It's not like he went, there's that fucking fag again.
Let's beat him up, boys.
Even Matthew Shepard, the quintessential Christ-like figure of the gay movement, who was, I think, literally crucified, on a fence.
He was murdered by gays.
He was a meth head.
And it was a drug deal gone bad.
It had nothing to do with his sexuality.
Even Stonewall!
Stonewall was the cops cracking down on mob-run bars because they were using illegal alcohol.
Mob-run bars tend to focus on weird bars, outcast bars.
Those were gay bars.
So the police busted that because of the illegal booze.
Gays went ballistic and started a three-day fight.
And now, when the mayor's wife, that black chick who's like a three, she looks like something out of Gremlins, she's put out a campaign to see who is the quintessential woman who built New York.
Who is like a pillar of the community that defines New York City?
And everyone voted for some saint, some chick, some Irish chick who was a saint and she helped the poor and blah blah blah.
Basically the Mother Teresa of New York.
And she goes, nah.
I want to use like a trans woman, a trans woman who built New York.
And one of the, the new Stonewall statue is three of the people who were at the riots.
Two of them are trans and one of them showed up like two days after it started.
What a fucking clown world.
What a shit show.
Chadwick Moore is a real expert on all this.
All right, next call.
We gotta go soon.
Okay.
Jacob.
Finances.
Talking about finances.
Yeah.
Hello?
Yeah, so unlike Ryan, I listen to all of Gavin's financial advice, but I'm confused because I already gave all my money to BetDSI and now you want me to give it to like Brokers.org or whatever?
Brokers.org?
MyBookie.com.
Yes, sir.
Come on.
So, I'm already broke from the other one.
Thanks for calling, caller.
And you've reminded me that while people will feel inclined to go to mybookie.com, another site that you should spend some of your money at is betdsi.com.
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I have quite a few.
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Um, no.
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Why the hell, Ryan, would you get up in the last five minutes of the show?
Are you thirsty?
What the fuck are you doing?
And I'm familiar with the read and I know that the read takes exactly as amount of seconds.
No, I'm done the read.
No.
Who gets up in a show?
Imagine you're watching Tucker Carlson and he gets up and goes to get a water.
I am not Tucker.
I'm some guy that works for him.
You'd be the Tucker of the show.
All right.
Well, let's take a couple more calls and then I got to sprint out of here.
Mike, internships versus college.
Hey guys, I'm just wondering, actually this is a great intro because Ryan just fucked up.
So Gavin, you always talk about how most people shouldn't go to college and they should get an internship.
And Ryan's the perfect candidate for this because he probably would just fail out of college.
But I'm confused because after about a year being your intern, he's still terrible at his job.
I wonder if you can explain this.
Yeah, he's an imbecile, I think is the problem.
Fair enough.
But he's only $12,000 in debt.
I know that sounds crazy, but it's actually pretty good, considering.
If he went to NYU, he'd be $100,000, $200,000 in debt.
It's $60,000 a year.
And yeah, he is still completely useless at his job.
How about the episode this week where the first two minutes the mic is off?
That's stunning!
Yeah!
Well, I think the audience is wondering, is he getting better off camera at other stuff, or is he equally, you know, failing across the board?
On Monday we said hey Ryan make a promo ad for Milo's show and a sizzle reel of Milo Milo Milo Milo and then he can put it he has like 800,000 subscribers on YouTube or something like that and we'll make a promo for the show that'll be good I've got subscribers he goes okay oh maybe I'll do it I'll do it tomorrow oh yeah today Thursday he says to me it would be cool if I go to Milo's show on Friday and then shoot some high-def stuff for the promo yes I go, the promo was for this Friday.
That's tomorrow.
And you want to shoot stuff at the show for the show we're trying to promote?
I go, what percent done are you of this sizzle?
He goes, about 9%.
9% Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, four days.
He's 9% into this mission.
Shocking.
I just have a vision for it.
If it's gonna last forever, and we want to make a nice impact, we need to show him currently talking about the show, frankly, and not recycled footage that anybody could Google.
If you know Milo, you want to sign up for the show, you've seen the footage, we want new footage, great footage of Milo, HD, 4K, and some shots of the actual show so you know what you're signing up for.
Shut up.
I'm gonna shut it down.
Alright, let's take another call.
Alright.
Do we have all those calls still?
Yeah.
I can't do them.
Sorry.
I got a piece out.
Hey, Matt.
Matt from Maine.
Hey guys, so I am a correctional officer and I wanted to talk about Epstein a little bit.
Just was gonna tell you guys, so when I was working at the jail a couple years ago, I Ended up saving somebody's life from trying to hang themselves.
And I wanted you to know it's completely and totally impossible to break your neck in a jail cell.
So they say, what are the odds that he could make something hangable out of the kind of blanket they give you in that jail?
Impossible.
Zero percent.
I use those blankets a lot.
It's zero percent he could hang himself with that.
Do they tear those sheets?
Even given a sheet, like a real sheet or something, normally what they do is they hang it around their neck and then they twist a bunch of times.
Because there's no hanging from a ceiling.
So you're hanging from, at tops, a five foot top bunk.
So you're just twisting yourself until you suffocate and then eventually you'll just die.
And that wouldn't break a neck bone.
No, no way.
The guy that I saved, he twisted himself a couple times and he was blue.
You know, he would have suffocated for another probably minute or two and then would have passed out and eventually just died from lack of oxygen.
So what do you say happened?
I would assume that somebody probably honestly did it.
I know the Clintons don't want me saying this, but I would assume that somebody probably went in there and you could definitely break somebody's neck if you did it yourself.
Like if you were to, you know, Wrap a towel or a blanket around their neck and pull really tight.
I guess a person could probably do it, another person, but not your own physical strength.
But the thing that freaks me out about that is, that means that someone high up paid the corrections officers to turn the other cheek and open this cell and open Epstein's cell and let the thing go on.
There's a lot of moving parts here.
Yeah, well, I mean, I could say probably correctional officer, give him enough money.
I would be interested to see who retires next year on, you know, unusually.
Because I've seen some, you know, I've seen people bring drugs in before.
Well, killing somebody, you know, for the right amount of money, I guess, to the right person, I guess doesn't have family or doesn't care about their family.
Yeah, two million bucks to open a door, to open two doors, basically.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know, you can, I guess.
But you realize, sorry, but just to recap, you said there is a zero percent chance he hanged himself.
So with the number zero, then you are saying a hundred percent that someone went in there and killed him.
What else could have happened?
Yeah, nothing.
And like I said, it wouldn't have broke your neck.
It's impossible to break your neck.
Unless you were to trip and fall, maybe, and smash your head off or something, but that's not what happened.
They're saying that he hung himself and it broke his neck, which is impossible to do in a jail cell.
That's awesome.
Wow, what a great call.
Great way to end the show.
Thanks for calling, CO.
That's it, folks.
That is the Thursday episode.
Friday we have Milo and I on the show.
Ryan will probably do the promo for that show about a week after it airs.
Then you can just watch that promo, then get in your time machine and go back and watch the show.
And in the interim, I highly encourage you to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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