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Feb. 23, 2019 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
56:06
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #115 | Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes

I visited my dad in Florida and asked him why the media is in total and utter denial when it comes to the horrific murders of white farmers in South Africa. I also brought mum in to explain why this guy thinks he’s so great - maybe he is.

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Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes.
Say hello, Dad.
Hi, guys.
That's it?
Well, that's it.
Hello.
I want to go over a lot of stuff today on this podcast.
I'm kind of obsessed with South Africa these days.
But first, I thought we should sort of do an audit of all the things you did wrong as a father.
All the abuse.
That I went through.
So I'm going to name some of the things that you did to me and maybe you could try to summon some sort of explanation.
And of course, there's no explanation.
I apologize.
It's totally fine and understandable.
So let's start with the time in Bridalwood when you came into the basement and you didn't like the way I had built my bed and you threw me through the air.
I must've traveled about 20 feet.
Well, What you did, we bought a waterbed for you.
A waterbed.
Which is weird that cheap people would buy such an expensive thing.
And that's what pained me, because we laid out money for this waterbed, but of course, you decided you knew how to actually work it, and you were going to fill it with water.
But of course, you didn't read the directions, and you got it totally wrong.
So it ended up we had this waterbed leaking water all over the place and you were totally lost in terms of what to do to fix it.
That's not even close to true.
You've rewritten history in your own mind to stop the nightmares.
What happened was, you got me a waterbed, but I didn't feel very punk to have a waterbed in a nice bedroom, so I, against your will, I built it in the basement.
And I ignored the directions, because culturally I'm of the culture... And that's exactly what I said.
Directions are for fags, I've always said.
I hadn't filled it with water yet.
You were just mad that you found the... You were trying to fill it with water.
I don't think I had even started that stage.
I think it was just the bed frame.
And you came running down with the directions, and that's when you threw me through the air.
Well, you see, there again, you know, you typically get all these things wrong.
The only part there's any controversy here is whether I had started filling it or not, which I don't think I had.
Yes, you did.
And you made a mess of it.
The basement was unfinished.
It just would have gone on a cement floor.
But there was a supply of water.
I don't think that's true, my friend.
Well, okay, I think, um, I'm sorry.
I think we should move on to some other... Alright, you know what?
Apology accepted.
Let's move to the next one.
Remember the time when I was a little late for a trip, and you picked me up by the neck, walked me to the front door, and we hit the front door so hard it shattered the deadbolt, and we both went flying onto the ground.
Do you remember that?
Well, again, there's an extraordinary exaggeration.
What happened was, I generally only had two holidays every year.
And I was looking forward to a holiday and we were going to leave about four o'clock in the afternoon.
What was that holiday?
And you did not appear.
You were supposed to be there at four o'clock, but you never appeared.
Yeah, just like the previous one, my culture was directions are for fags, and you were shoving that culture down my own throat against me.
And this one, culturally, I like to say goodbye to people at school, including the janitor, and make sure the school's totally empty by the time I leave.
Well, I think you're right.
The school was totally empty.
You were the only clown in that school.
You know what, I remember being on the bus, and it was public transportation because the school was far away, and people in the bus were saying, oh man, there was this Scottish lady at the office and she was screaming at the principal about something, whoever her son is, is in big trouble.
And I remember thinking, I'm her son, I'm in big trouble.
As you should be.
How did you break the deadbolt, though, with both of our bodies?
See, the deadbolt is nonsense.
There's no such thing.
Well, I remember smashing against the front door, and I remember both of us hitting the ground.
No, no, see, that's nonsense.
That is nonsense.
It's very true.
I picked you up by the scruff of the neck and pushed you against the wall.
What wall?
What wall?
The wall in our living room.
But you were waiting in the car when I got home.
Yes, you were.
You were sitting there bobbing like an autistic child.
No, you didn't get home.
I had to go to the school and pick you up at the school, drive you home, and as we're... Wrong, wrong, wrong.
How would I have that memory of being on the bus if you drove me home?
You drove to the school, you couldn't find me because I'd already taken the bus.
So then you're back in the driveway, you're sitting there bobbing like Rain Man, and you had said to Mom, bloody lies and he says that if he has any fucking excuse, I'm going to murder him.
One lie, I'm going to murder him.
And then I showed up at the car and went, oh, hey, guys, you're not going to believe what happened.
And then that's when you snapped and you got out of the car and you picked me up by the neck and we walked to the front door and somehow broke in the front door.
Well, obviously someone has got this story wrong and I know it's not me.
Yeah, it's definitely not the senile bald man with a white beard.
who can't remember where he lives.
It's definitely not Mr. Magoo.
It's the man 25 years younger.
Excuse me, that's ageism.
Yeah.
You know, I'm sorry, that is absolutely disgusting.
Just because it's you, you would pick on someone because of their age.
You know, there was a time when Elderly people were respected, but seemingly that's not true anymore.
Well, there was a time when elderly people deserved respect, and that seemingly has passed.
Alright, let's get serious now.
So, I don't know if you keep up with the news, but here's the latest on Trump.
He's stupid.
He just watches Fox News and they're really laying it thick on Tucker Carlson.
That's their new enemy.
And Tucker made up some crazy story about white South Africans being under siege and how there was some dumb law that doesn't exist that they were going to take all the farmers land and kill all the white farmers.
And Trump heard that lie from Tucker.
No one stops to wonder why Tucker Carlson can sit there and just make up stories on Fox News, like midgets are being attacked.
So apparently to them, he can just make up a myth, right?
And then the next day, Trump said, hey, don't take the white farmer's land about South Africa.
And then the media doubles down and says there is absolutely no evidence of any kind of conflict there.
with the white farmers in South Africa.
I call it South African denialism.
Well, you know, it's, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put this on Tucker.
You know, there was a two people who I think were absolutely outstanding reporters, Lauren Southern and Katie Hopkins.
They exposed the absolutely horrific acts that were going on between the white farmers and the People who supported the President, or the Prime Minister of South Africa, who had decided to take over the land.
And even Theresa May, the Prime Minister of England, felt that was perfectly alright.
As long as the paid compensation.
The problem is, who decides what the compensation is?
And of course, the government will decide the compensation.
So, these poor white farmers, their children have been, the atrocities committed on these people are absolutely horrendous.
And I've talked to people here, and their attitude seems to be, well, they stole it from the African, so they deserve it.
And it's like we have the same issue here in America.
We stole the land from the natives.
Ergo, we deserve all kinds of punishment, all kinds of reparation, and it's The left now has moved so far left it's absolutely nonsensical.
I'll take the argument that they stole the farms and they just want the farms back.
That's not true.
That's a lie.
The Boers negotiated deals for that land.
But not only that, there weren't farms then.
It was the Boers.
It's some of the least farmable land in the world.
They made farms out of brush.
Yes.
And they were incredibly hard-working people who made bombs out of brush.
And they were incredibly successful for generations.
And they employed many, many South Africans.
And now What's happening in South Africa is the same what happened in Zimbabwe.
The white farmers were chased out of their farms in Zimbabwe.
Zimbabwe used to be a breadbasket of South Africa.
Of Africa?
Of South Africa.
I wouldn't say of Africa, but certainly of South Africa.
And now they're being chased off the land.
And Zimbabwe is a disaster.
I'm not sure what the inflation rate in Zimbabwe is, but I believe that Zimbabwe has more billionaires than anywhere else, because a billion dollars will buy you a loaf of bread.
No, without exaggerating, a cheeseburger in Zimbabwe is 14 million Zimbabwean dollars.
It also costs about that To make a long-distance phone call.
And Mugabe, who's my favorite dictator, is begging for the white farmers to come back.
But the crazy part of all of this is it's considered racist to recognize it because white nationalists also think this is a problem.
So if white nationalists use toilet paper and you use toilet paper, well, then you're a white nationalist.
All cats are mammals.
All dogs are mammals.
So all cats are dogs.
And the other argument they say, too, is they go, the white farmers don't experience much more crime than the average South African in the city does.
And you go, A, people in the city are supposed to experience more crime than rural farmers, and B, you're totally ignoring the level of sadism.
And the Lawrence Southern documentary you mentioned earlier is called Farmlands.
I highly recommend people go on YouTube to watch it.
The sadism that a 12-year-old boiled alive In a big bucket, they took an 80-year-old woman with a drill, and they drilled her to death by drilling holes in her.
A common mode of torture is to rape the woman, the wife, and kill the children in front of the husband, then dismember them, and then leave the husband alone.
Sometimes blind him, but usually leave him alone, so he later blows his own head off.
If you had that level of sadism for dogs, There would be riots in the streets.
People would be going to South Africa right now saying, save the puppies.
But for some reason, white farmers are less valuable to Western society than dogs.
Well, the narrative is that the farmers stole the land from the African and has to pay a price.
And there's no limit to what that price has to be paid.
It sure as hell Your life is not worth it.
Sorry, to get back to what I was saying earlier, the idea that they stole the farmland, which isn't true, but at least that's some sort of an argument.
That's not where we're at right now.
Where we're at right now is this is not happening at all.
It's a total and utter myth.
There was no child boiled alive.
There was no woman raped in front of her husband.
There was no old lady drilled to death with a power drill.
If there was, if that actually happened, That's an extreme.
That's a one-off.
Oh, it's a freak accident.
Yeah, exactly.
And I had a conversation with a German the other day, and he refused to believe that Andrea Merkel had ruined Germany.
I get that from Germans all the time.
And I told him, I talked to him, and I said, well, what happened about this Cologne Railway Station in Cologne, downtown Cologne, where there was all this incredible amount of rapes.
And he says, well, that's just a one-off.
Yeah, I know a journalist at Der Spiegel, and he says, yes, that's what you're talking about is a minor influx, and it's just a blip in crime, but we will settle that.
And then he said to me, but of course, shortly, we will have handled all this, and you'll be stuck in this shithole, this Trump, and we will be living in our beautiful Germany.
I'm like, dude, your beautiful Germany is long gone, my friend.
It's long gone, and it will never, the problem is, it will never come back.
Wasn't Mom prevented from going into an area in some old German town that was a no-go zone?
No, no, no.
There's several people.
In fact, not just no-go zones in Germany.
It was either northern, southern... In Munich!
Mom was going for a walk in Munich and she was told... No, that's not the story.
We arrived in Munich, in the Munich railway station, and there were bunch of immigrants and they were asking, they were kind of a crowding Lorraine.
Because Lorraine was an incredibly gorgeous woman with blonde hair.
Dad, Jesus, you're going back half a century now to Turkey and you're conflating that with the true story I'm talking about when you were doing your house swaps and you were in some German town like three years ago.
Not 1960 fucking five.
Jesus Christ.
You didn't make that clear.
Well, it's a given.
When someone talks about someone going to a no-go, Mom, tell us a story.
Wait, now you're gone off on a tangent!
I'm talking about recently!
And it never happened recently.
You had your bikes, you were riding on your bikes in this beautiful German town that had been lost and it was maybe three years ago and there was an area that Jews couldn't go into because they've been taken over by Muslims.
That was Spain.
Yeah.
So you got the story wrong.
We both got this story wrong.
We both should apologize.
But in terms of what's happening in Europe, it's a disaster.
An absolute disaster.
But curiously enough, people won't recognize it.
They don't recognize.
They won't recognize it.
You know, as I mentioned, this is a chap who has a child, a young son.
When I say a young son, I mean a 30, 40 year old.
In Munich and he's maintaining there's no issue there.
Well let me tell you there was an issue over 50 years ago in Munich.
Right.
So well now at New Year's Eve they have these rape free tents where women get to go to not to be guaranteed they won't be raped on the streets.
But it's nonsense you know and we have this situation where in Sweden You know, people are telling them, mayors of towns are telling young women to dye their hair so they're not blonde because if you're blonde you have a higher chance of being raped.
You know, the thing I loved, the thing that was remarkable about Sweden and Norway was Incredibly gorgeous blondes.
And I remember my wife telling me a story that she went to Norway on a skiing holiday and she's traveling across Norway in a train and she's looking out the train window and seeing all these incredibly Gorgeous blonde woman.
Gorgeous?
Was it gorgeous?
Gorgeous.
Absolutely gorgeous blonde woman.
And she turned to her friends and said, We have no hope here.
There's way too much competition.
Well, one theory about the way the refugees treat blondes is they don't have access to women in these shithole countries.
And so they end up just watching porn.
And when they watch porn, there's all these blonde whores who are dying for it.
So they get to Germany, they go, oh, these are those blonde whores I saw on TV that love to be gangbanged.
Well, I don't, I mean, I'm not sure if that's true.
All I know is they wouldn't do it to Muslim women.
Yeah.
That's true.
But wait, before we abandon South Africa, there's two unturned stones here.
One is that the Farm Acquisition Act was just about to be passed, and then Trump said, don't pass this, and they abandoned it.
That became Trump taking cues from Fox News.
And I've heard the Prime Minister say, Two separate occasions.
One time he said, we haven't agreed to take back all the white farms, dot, dot, dot, yet.
And then he also said, we haven't decided we will kill the white farmers, dot, dot, dot, yet.
And he was being kind of snarky and whimsical, adding that yet at the end, like that's him being a badass, because his voters like that.
And they have footage of him dancing up and down with a song where the chorus is kill the boar.
Now, sometimes, Dad, your stories will be so long and tedious that I feel like I want to sing Kill the Boar.
But the vowels are switched around.
And I say it.
And you didn't, you know, fight for that land.
People don't get to, like, they think of Boers and they think of apartheid.
And they don't understand that the Boers were under siege from Zulus, whom the first Bota there, the first leader of South Africa, learned Zulu, worked with the Zulus, fought alongside of them in exchange for land.
Eventually, the Zulus turned on him after they'd done a massive land deal.
Murdered his entire family.
That's when it became open season on Zulus.
Oh great, I forgot what I was talking about.
Oh yeah, so there was South Africa, but the Boers were under siege not just from Zulus, but from the Brits.
Churchill and his boys were terrorizing them.
Boer wars.
Yes, killing women and children, massacring them.
Well, boers may not be very interesting, but I don't think you should wear wars on them.
That's just my joke.
You're just repeating my joke.
The boer pun is done now.
Let's put that to bed.
I wasn't told about that.
Let's act like your nurse, your day nurse, and put that to bed, okay?
Let's wash it, give it a bath, give that joke a sponge bath, wipe its ass and put it to bed.
So they've already established that killing white farmers and taking back farms is something they consider legislating.
And one of the great things about Lauren Southern's doc is you see these cell phone blockers on these thieves in the infrared night vision.
from that their cameras pick up the farmers cameras pick up and you go wait a minute you guys are sadistic thieves criminals who have no money why do you have state-of-the-art military cell phone blockers on your backpack if it's not sanctioned by the government and the government hands out these cards where you're a member of the ANC and you show this card when you get arrested and it absolves you of a crime the this group is a communist
Dictatorship, it's a military government that is sanctioning murder and the West ignores it because it feels racist to defend white children from being boiled alive.
It's fucking clown world!
I like your term and that's where we are.
We're in clown world.
There's absolutely no doubt about it.
We seem to have lost any common sense Yeah, like with the Jussie Smollett thing, not to get back into that, but the second you heard, ski masks, MAGA hats, this is MAGA country, poured bleach on me, your natural instincts should go, meh, especially in this day and age.
In Chicago, you're MAGA country, you know, and you're attacked at 2 in the morning and something like, what was it, minus 10 degrees, and there's a bunch of white races, you know, hanging about.
Outside a subway, you know.
Bleach freezes at that temperature, by the way.
It would be a bleach slushie they would have poured on it.
But, you know, there's... And everybody's sized upon it, you know.
Sized?
Seized upon it.
But even Kamala's father said, this is wrong.
Kamala Harris's father sensed it was a prank?
Yes.
Oh, because she took it.
She ran with it.
This is a woman, by the way, who will be negotiating with Israelis and Palestinians and trying to prevent, you know, a major war erupting in Afghanistan.
So we have to trust, if she was president, we have to trust her instincts.
And her instincts are, we can do better than this, America!
And look at Cory Booker.
Nonsense.
Well, they're the same person.
Corey and Kamala grew up rich and they want to try to sound dope.
So she claims she was listening to Tupac before he was a rapper.
But you also see this with the... I'm getting pedantic with this because I keep going over these same stories.
But you get this with the UVA hoax.
Sabrina Erdely heard that there was a gang rape frat.
I mean, to be fair, to be honest with you, I've never raped a woman on top of a broken glass table.
And you think, why did you jump into your Honda Civic and race to West Virginia before going, wait a minute, glass?
Wasn't everyone all cut up?
I don't know why I turned into Norm MacDonald there.
I mean, to be fair, to be honest with you, I've never raped a woman on top of a broken glass table.
But that's my fantasy.
Well, I stopped doing it because my knees would get shredded.
It's brutal.
Glass is sharp.
Oh, God.
What a thought.
Why?
And this is actually too much like my last podcast where I kept saying, why did you want it to be true?
That's what drives me nuts.
Like, why is there so much hatred for not just white people, but It's a particular type of white person, like successful.
Actually, no, in South Africa, it's just any kind of white person.
They just have so much contempt.
You know Jeffrey Dahmer?
They're doing a documentary on him and he found out about it.
I don't know if he's still alive, but he was alive when this happened.
And he contacted the documentarians and he said, hey, I'm just guessing how he talks, by the way.
Hey, I heard that you were doing a documentary on me.
I want you to know that I only ate black people because I lived in an area that was predominantly black.
I'm not racist.
So we have cannibals more concerned with being called racist than being known for someone who ate someone.
How did we get here?
Well, I think what's, in terms of South Africa, I have a friend who is a daughter married a South African surgeon.
How do you have so many friends, by the way?
Do people have a high tolerance when they get older?
Well, I call them friends, but they're probably not.
They're probably pressing charges.
You mean people with restraining orders in your community.
Yeah, they've probably got a lawsuit out against me.
However, so this chap, Doctor.
And all these white people generally live in gated communities.
So what happens is, in the morning, the whites move to go and work outside the gated community.
And then the South Africans move in, and they're maids and gardeners and nannies and whatever.
And he said, you know, at one time, at one point, you know, the natives, the South Africans are going to say, we're staying here.
Don't let the guys, don't let the whites back in.
Close the gates.
Change the passcode.
And he says, and that's going to happen.
They're going to realize, wait a minute.
Why are the white people, why do they have so much wealth?
We should have this!
Oh, I'm glad you brought that up because it reminds me of another thing I wanted to say.
There's this view of farms that they're sort of these magical fountains of youth.
They're just like oil holes.
You know, they're these giant piles of gold that just keep producing and producing and producing.
And that's not the deal with farms.
They take an incredible amount of investment, right?
Oh yes.
Farming is very much a business.
It's not as though you just wait for whatever you're farming to grow and then you reap it and sell it and make a fortune.
That's a children's book!
You need to invest a tremendous amount of money for seeds, for fertilizers, for labor, plough the land, there's an incredible investment there.
You're not sitting back in an armchair waiting to reap all this bet.
So it's very much a business.
And I don't think that the background of the South Africans understand the business behind farming.
So it ends that way.
So they get the farms, but they don't know how to farm.
They don't know how to go and get the money in order to start the farming.
So most of the farming ends up as subsistence farming.
85% of the farms because this this notion that they might get taken over no no no no they're being taken over in droves there's very few farmers left the only question is when will it become law right now they're just stealing them but it's about to become totally legal to steal them so the idea that this might happen in the horizon is silly it's already happened and out of the farms that have been stolen 85% are just dead So you go, well, 15% are doing well.
No, no, no, no.
The 15% have maybe half an acre surrounding the farmhouse where they're just doing subsistence farming for that particular family.
They're not generating any food.
South Africa is running out of food.
They're running out of water.
They kicked all the white people out and it's turning into Zimbabwe.
We've been through this before.
No, Zimbabwe absolutely is a complete, absolute disaster.
Mugabe?
Robert Mugabe?
He's the best.
I read this great article about him once.
85 or not 90 years of age, you know, it's ridiculous.
You know, he's the best.
I read this great article about him once.
They're talking about his giant 14 karat gold glasses.
And it said it was unclear whether he was wearing the glasses or the glasses were wearing him.
I mean, at his birthday parties, he'll have turtles, 400-year-old turtles, for dinner.
Lion, you can have lion meat, you can have tiger meat.
He just tried to give the country to his mistress, who was his secretary, and now they're rioting.
Well, I would love to have access to MacGabby's Swiss account.
Yeah!
Why is he alive?
Well, you should see his kids.
His kids are on Instagram, and they put up pictures of themselves with Gucci watches and Lamborghinis and stuff, just like Hugo Chavez's daughter, who's, I think, worth $3 billion.
But Mugabe is insane, and he was a terrorist with Mandela.
He murdered people and was rewarded for that, just like Mandela was.
It's amazing the view that Westerners have of Africa.
I mean, I was just at Disneyland at Animal Kingdom, and it's like, And it was such a whitewashed version of a place where people think albinos are magic and dismember them all the time.
Or we had that woman who climbed the Statue of Liberty.
She just made it to the toes.
But she said, I am protesting human rights in this country.
I am new to this country and I am protesting.
And you're like, The Congo?
You're from the Congo?
Weren't kids forced to rape their mothers at gunpoint there?
You move here and you start telling me about human rights?
Talk about an emigrate.
Well, you know, I must say you got the right message there.
We're living in clown world.
We definitely are.
You know, I've met a lot of Americans down here.
I'm down here about 50% of my time.
We're in Florida, by the way, folks at home.
And I find that they're hysterical about Trump.
Completely hysterical.
But they don't seem to understand, wait a minute, 50% of your population voted for Trump.
And the other 50% voted for a criminal.
A criminal!
A criminal.
Who advocated for her rapist husband again and again, threatened his mistresses, and this sounds too Alex Jones-y for most, but there's just too many suspicious deaths around that woman.
There's no suspicious deaths around Obama.
It's not a partisan thing.
With Hillary Clinton.
The Clinton Foundation is so incredibly corrupt.
And we have a prime minister who is a total moron.
Justin Trudeau.
Justin Trudeau, who donated $50 million to this corrupt organization.
It's absolutely nonsensical.
Well, he also paid the Canadian media $500 million to treat him well in the press, which there's not a lot of Canadian media.
I think that works out to about $120,000 per person.
I don't know, but that is outrageous that the media is supposed to be independent.
That's what we rely upon.
We need to have news from independent organizations.
Now we can have... News is one thing.
News is... This is fact.
This is what happened.
That's fact.
Op-eds are something else.
This is how we interpret these facts.
This is our views on these facts.
But now you don't get news, you get op-eds.
Well, you also have these strange new sources, like Twitter.
People are getting, they used to get their news mostly from late night talk show hosts.
Now they get their news from Twitter, and Twitter, with the Jussie Smollett thing happened, it said, Jussie Smollett attacked by MAGA blah blah blah, and it just said it as a fact.
Now that he's arrested, I've noticed it always says, Police say Jussie Smollett blah blah blah blah blah.
Oh, and the media, and I'm talking about the common, the mainstream media, are now using this term like, if this is true, this is outrageous.
If this is true, it's been said that, you know, and they don't go and research it.
It's been said that President Trump lie reportedly had uh prostitutes urinate on a bed reportedly it has been said that and this is absolutely outrageous you know that the media is using if this is true then this is absolutely you know it's it's the old why do you beat your wife thing
Well, if it's true you're beating your wife, then that is absolutely terrible.
The whole leftist assumption is that there was this latent racism bubbling under the surface, and Obama kept it down.
He kept it under this big tarp.
And then when Trump showed up, all of a sudden it was liberated.
It gets even deeper than that.
They talk about white genocide.
I had some, there's this Antifa guy they call Giraffe Neck.
He released my phone number to the world and he said, text, call Gavin McInnes and tell him that you love white genocide.
Because apparently I, that's my fear and it's not just South Africa.
It's true, white genocide in South Africa, but what they believe is that the right in America saw that they're going to be a smaller demographic, they're going to be a minority in whatever it is, 20 years, and that scares the shit out of them.
I know everyone on the right.
I have never heard one person say, we're gonna be a minority soon and shit's not gonna be good!
It doesn't come up.
They're worried about family values, they're worried about big government, They're worried about the First Amendment, the Second Amendment.
They're very worried about abortion.
All of this stuff comes up pretty regularly.
You can see it in the right-wing blogosphere, right-wing hemisphere.
And the whole, like, you're scared you're gonna be a minority is a silly theory.
I think it's literally as silly as all these short shorts, you know, this gayness is creeping up.
There's gonna be a lot more gays coming up.
It's that crazy of a theory that The idea that people are scared of a white minority is just as esoteric as the people are scared that gays are going to take over the country.
And they put all their eggs in that one basket!
It's so much nonsense.
We keep hearing about these white racists, you know, the Ku Klux Klan and what have you.
My guess is you could put the white racists And the Klu Klux Klan in my living room.
Well, they are every Christmas.
You guys sing beautiful hymns together.
It's ridiculous.
I have, you know, I've been around now 75 years.
I'm coming up for 76 years.
And I've been around, you know, many countries, Europe, England, America, Canada, and what have you.
And I've never met a white racist.
A white supremacist.
Yeah.
It's incredibly rare.
I may have heard the n-word in a joke, but I've never heard someone say, these goddamn ends are coming in here, taking out... And that's just assumed to be 50% of the country.
And even like evangelicals, super far right, they say, I wish blacks would stay married.
They don't want them to go back to Africa.
No one's... Richard Spencer said that.
No one else says that.
It's a crazy concept.
Now, as soon as you talk about white races, Richard Spencer comes up.
Richard Spencer, David Duke, Charlottesville.
That's two people.
Two people in a population of about 360 million people.
You know?
It's absolute nonsense.
And they focus on Charlottesville, they focus on the synagogue shooting, which was obviously horrific, but they never mention the West Side Highway.
I saw that this, what's his name, Hassan Minhaj, he did the Correspondence Dinner after the Pulse shooting, which I believe killed 89 people for being gays, because he was a Muslim who hated gays.
And this irritating Daily Show comedian comes up at the Correspondence Dinner and said, what happened?
The other day, in Orlando, was a cocktail of things wrong with this country.
And it was our gun laws, the way we treat mental illness, and Islam never came up!
No.
It was a cocktail of everything but Islam!
And if there is an Islamist who guns down people or drives his motor vehicle into a crowd of people, it's because He's mentally ill.
Everyone, you know, or he was driven mad by Islamophobia.
I made him crazy.
Oh no, it's absolutely pathetic, you know, and I really believe that Islam And is ruining Europe.
Now, and then people tell me that they know a bunch of Muslims who are really lovely people.
You're looking for peace and they just want to live their lives and get on with their lives.
Agreed.
And I believe that is absolutely true.
But the argument I've heard from someone who's way smarter than me is that Exactly that.
You know, in Nazi Germany, most Germans were really nice people.
But they sat back.
In Russia, during this horrible Stalinist organization, you know, where they killed umpteen million Ukrainians.
Thirty-five million Bolsheviks?
Yes.
Most Russians were really nice people.
And China, for God's sake, under Mao... Would you stop fucking calling him Mao?
Like we're making a BLT?
It's Mao!
Mao, okay, Mao.
Mayo?
I'm sorry, Mao.
Was he sponsored by Fleischmann's?
Hellman's Dictators.
You're such a bloody nag.
Under Mao, you know, we're tens of millions... Eighty million.
Tens of millions of people working.
Most Chinese were really nice people.
Here is the problem.
The nice people have to stop and do something.
They can't sit in the background.
They have to fight this nonsense.
And they don't.
Because it really is too high a price to pay.
Your family's put at risk.
It's just too much.
Well, they're a much more valuable ally than you and I. Like, if you go up to a radical jihadist and you say, hello, I'm James McInnes, my boy, and you're absolutely gorgeous, and we would, we, I cannot tell you how much we would appreciate it if you would stop blowing yourself up, my boy.
And they're just going to go, fuck you!
But if it's his cousin or his sister doing it, he's going to be much more...
And I've heard that in India, when there's a suicide bombing, they deport not just the suicide bomb.
But the family.
He deported his body parts to Allah, but the whole family.
And deport the family.
Right.
Now, if we had that law, then the cousin and the sister would be a lot more dubious when their relative is at a wedding and he says, smite ye above their necks or something...
They'd be going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what'd you just say?
What did Farrokh just say?
What about the guy who went into Orlando and showed up that nightclub and I don't know how many people he killed.
I think it was 89.
Yeah, and by the way, it wasn't, it was a homosexual act.
He was anti-gay.
Oh yeah yeah that was another thing that that comedian said that he was gay himself and the homophobia made him so mad.
There's nothing to do with this one by the way.
And the fact that he said Aloha snack bar as he did it is irrelevant.
His father was an Afghani who actually supported the Afghani regime Yes, and he showed up at Hillary campaigns.
You saw him in the background behind the Hillary flag.
This is after the shooting, just hanging out.
I know people in my community, her brother died fighting with the Kashmiris, and she's running around as a local activist promoting Hillary politics.
No stigma there.
So if you had, like, you got that NASCAR guy, his dad said the N-word in the 80s, and he's losing sponsors.
But when your relatives are terrorists, there's no problem.
And another thing I want to make clear, too, is they go, plenty of Muslims are wonderful people, and that's obviously true.
The left doesn't understand the word disproportionate.
No.
They don't understand statistics.
No.
So, in England, where you have these Pakistani Muslims raping all these white girls, you know, the message is, well, white men rape white girls.
Very true!
So, you can't argue with this.
That is absolutely true.
But now, look at the statistics.
What's the difference in terms of the statistics from white men raping white girls and Pakistani men raping white girls.
You know, if you look at the population of the Pakistani Muslims and look at the population of the white men, it's outrageous.
Pakistanis are raping 10, 20 times, 30 times more white women than white guys are.
Yes, and in America here, I always say the stat, and everyone always goes, where'd you get that stat?
It's a Pew Research stat, and it's out of American Muslim men between the ages of 18 to 25, 1 in 4, 25%, think suicide bombing is sometimes or often justified.
Now, that leaves a lot of wonderful young Muslim men, 75%, but that's a disproportionate number.
And they go, well, what about Timothy McVeigh?
Yes, I know, I gotcha.
What about Charlottesville?
That was, yes, yes, gotcha, gotcha, but there's a disproportionate number here.
You don't understand statistics.
Political correctness is the war on noticing patterns.
I think Steve Saylor said that and Patton Oswalt got in big trouble for repeating it.
We're running out of time here.
Let me throw a theory at you.
You and I are very similar.
You look like me with AIDS.
Do you think... At one time, no.
At one time you said I look like a turtle with AIDS.
Yes, and when I get AIDS, I will look like a turtle with AIDS.
That really hurt me.
You know, what you don't understand is how sensitive I am.
Do you have mirrors in your home?
Oh no, I took them out long ago.
Well, next time in a shopping mall, walk by the mirrors and you'll see a turtle with AIDS.
Well, what about this for a theory?
I think as an immigrant, you know, I came from England to Canada, Canada, I consider Ontario to Quebec, almost like going to a new country.
And then Quebec to New York.
So I see all these different cultures and you see what people's prejudices are.
And I think it gives you kind of a big perspective, a sort of a big picture look at things.
And, you know, in Quebec, it was all about English versus French, and it became fanatical, the language police.
Then you come to New York and it's all race, race, race.
Race doesn't come up in Quebec.
Black and white doesn't come up.
It's English versus French.
So then you go, you guys are still talking about race?
What, you're talking about slavery?
And it maybe makes you more callous and insensitive.
But I think, I just see with all this pandering, I see the bigotry of low expectations.
It actually seems kind of racist, the way that people jump on Jussie Smollett, his lies without any questioning.
And they conversely Can't wait to pillory, you know, the Covington Catholic school kids.
So maybe it's because I'm an immigrant.
I'm so incredibly wise and and prescient.
Oh, I had Jussie called on day one.
Or it could be a genetic thing where Scots, after 700 years of being abused by the English, they have a bullshit detector where they're just like, oh, fuck that.
We're absolutely, no, do not.
So it could be Scottish genes.
What do you think it is more?
Well, OK, what I am, you've said, you know, An expletive there.
And the BBC were trying to explain about the cannibals.
The white guy.
It was in their broadcasting room.
And he said it was like seeing a cannibal.
Why do you pronounce things so weird?
Cannibal?
It's a cannibal.
Cannibal?
What are we bowling with human heads now?
Well, that sounds right.
Cannibal.
What kind of drink is Maker's Mark?
It's, you know, it's an alcoholic drink.
Right.
It's a type of whiskey, though.
What's that called again?
Well, it's a rye whiskey.
Is it called bourbon?
It's called bourbon.
Oh, there we go.
Okay.
So this guy is on and on about, you know, these low-educated cannibals in the world, and he didn't realize that that's the vast majority of the English population.
We didn't all go to Eton or Dad, I have to interrupt you.
You just jump into that with zero context.
People have no idea what you're talking about.
What my father is talking about is Tommy Robinson had got some hidden camera footage of the BBC, the elitists at the BBC, and they were talking about Tommy Robinson.
And Britain, if you don't know America, basically has, sort of has a middle class, but it really just has an upper class and a lower class.
And the upper class despises the lower class, and they have two very different accents.
And the upper-class accent is, hello, how are you, my darling?
And usually most people in the media class are BBC.
And so this woman was talking to a man who worked at the BBC.
And he was saying, you know, we'd love to get Tommy.
I'll pay you £5,000 if you can give me a sexual harassment case.
And she goes, oh, I could probably dig something up.
I work with him regularly.
He's an absolute savage.
And then he was taking the bait and he says you know the first time I heard that accent and he's talking about Tommy's like what are you doing?
Don't muck about!
The first time I heard that accent in the newsroom of the BBC I thought I was running into some sort of a Amazonian cannibal and Tommy got it all on tape And my father, my senile father here, is trying to explain that the upper class in Britain don't realize that that accent, the upper class, is a tiny fraction and most people are like, what are you doing?
Is that what you're trying to say?
Okay, but I'll tell you a story.
I was living in England and my next-door neighbor, so we lived in single-family homes, so there was two families living in single-family homes, but their neighbor, was living in a semi-detached, which is not, you know, not as good as a detached home.
And they complained to my wife That they had a lower class accent that could bring down the value of our homes.
Yeah, it's like blacks moving into the neighborhood or something.
And that was a major problem.
And obviously they were, you know, really nice people.
But they were talking about accents.
And of course I have a very heavy Scottish accent, probably even more heavy.
Well, you've anglicised it now.
Your original accent was, you alright Jimmy?
You alright?
Like getting your bite there, you know?
And now like, hello, how are you my boy?
I'm trying to be posh.
Yes.
And get rid of my Scottish, you know, slum upbringing.
Right, but when you talk in your sleep, we hear, I don't want to go!
See you, you wee fucking shite old bar of your soul!
So it's difficult to get rid of.
So I said to them, well what about my accent?
How does that weigh in on this business about accent?
And he says, oh no, you have a Scottish accent, so we really don't place you.
You're invisible!
I'm beyond pale!
I don't count.
You're like an albino or the Elephant Man or something.
You can't be a race.
Well, but what's... Am I right?
Are we prescient?
Are we incredibly callous?
Are we insensitive?
Are we racist bigots?
Is it genetic?
Why are we so wise, Dad?
Well, I'm not sure you are.
Okay, why are you so wise?
Well, because I was brought up in very Difficult circumstances.
And I saw... Well, no, no, that's not true.
I was brought up in, you know, I had a very, very easy life.
Very easy life.
You grew up in the slums of the Gorbals?
You had no shoes, for fuck's sakes?
No, no, but no one else had.
We didn't know we were poor.
You had no toys.
You had your dad's, from the paper mill, the cylinders that were used to change the paper, you thought those were toys.
Well, I didn't.
My brother did.
And that was a, you know, my brother invited some of his friends to come around and play with his toys.
And there was these wooden, you know, cylinders.
And his friend said, they're not toys.
And my brother was shattered.
He had no idea.
He didn't own toys.
He thought they were toys.
However, no, no.
I think I've been through the various stages of life.
I'm sorry to interrupt you, but your wife is behind you, shaking her head, and she's making gun gestures at the back of your head, trying to shoot you.
You don't think he grew up poor?
His toes look like he was a geisha girl.
They're mangled from wearing shoes that are too small.
He had a wonderful life.
But abject poverty!
He was the only successful kid among six, and he was the prince of the family.
Yes, he was the prince of the shitty poor family.
He also told that story, which really bugs me, that he said that it was a neighbor who said to me, um, how can you have so-and-so babysitting your child when she's from inner London?
Oh, you had a Cockney babysitter for me?
Yes.
I'm teaching at a college.
You said the story was about gentrification and people taking down the property value and it was about a babysitter?
Could you be farther off?
No, finish the story.
Did he not complain about the property values going down?
How would a babysitter lower the property value?
Did she live there?
They weren't babysitters, they were neighbours.
Wait, now you both sound wrong.
This is like working in an old folks home.
I don't know what's right anymore.
Either of you want a sponge bath?
You're giving him such an audience, honestly.
He talks so much crap from time to time.
You really gotta watch it.
Mom, I agree with you.
You have no idea how much positive feedback I get every time I have this senile old turtle with AIDS on the show.
Everyone goes, can we get more Jimmy, please?
I don't know why.
I don't know.
I don't know what you see in him, and I don't know what the press... I don't either!
Let me tell you, I'm going to tell you a story.
This is story 307B.
This, this is on, we had a major, we were staying in Glasgow at the time because Lorraine was looking after her brother, and her brother eventually passed away.
So this was on, we'd been married 50 years, And we came back from Glasgow, and our anniversary was on the 30th of July.
And as we came back, I always wanted to have a 50th anniversary party.
And Lorraine was incredibly depressed, you know, with her brother passing away and what have you.
I just, I remember you, when you were going through that time, you weren't the most sympathetic guy.
I remember you saying to me on the phone, Ugh!
Everyone's supposed to be dying!
I could die tomorrow!
I wouldn't give a shit!
Okay, so that was my attitude.
So on our 50th anniversary, Lorraine said to me, I have wasted 50 fucking years with you!
How romantic!
Was that engraved on some sort of a ring or some jewellery?
What was that on a brooch?
Was that written in calligraphy?
It was of the moment.
That's how I felt at the moment.
Because I was so down.
And that's another story.
But he grew up in poverty and grime and all that shit.
I did too!
And you didn't have a dad, and your mum would go on vacations for weeks at a time.
My dad walked out on our family, and when I was 11, left me in charge of myself and my brother, and I decided I was going to go to university and screw them all.
Which I did.
Metaphorically.
So I have a lot of angst about that time.
Jim's family loved him to death.
He was the god.
Can you imagine?
Are you seeing a pattern here?
Maybe he is a god.
I mean, why fight it?
Why don't you just bask in his glory?
Alright, we gotta wrap it up.
Any last words, Mom?
No.
Well, thank you for listening to me for a change.
Usually you just listen to a silly old fart.
Well, he pays the bills.
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