Get Off My Lawn Podcast #104 | Motley Crue are a christian rock band
If you’re so determined to “shout at the devil,” then you hate him and see him as a threat to your life. I’ve been thinking a lot about the devil these days as I see things go from kinda crappy to downright sinister. Is the concept of “Satan” just a synonym for “evil” or is it more like actual demons coming from hell to do terrible things? I’m not at Alex Jones levels of “there are demons!” but I’m definitely drifting from the whole, “Meh, it just means ‘bad stuff’.” PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUICK SURVEY! https://survey.libsyn.com/getoffmylawnpod
That, uh, you know, when you feel yourself having this rage, or when you want to stab someone in the back, or when you're stabbed in the back, that's the devil getting into someone.
Um, and even he'll go, he'll be the love in your eyes will be the blood between your thighs and then have you cry for more.
I don't think he's talking about Satan raping you.
I think he's talking about all the terrible things in your life.
Um, like, uh, this relationship you keep going back to where the guy or the girl is abusive, but the sex is so good.
He'll put your strength to the test, he'll put the thrill back in death, I'm sure you heard it all before.
He'll be the risk and the kiss, might be anger on your lips.
It's kind of corny, in a way.
It's kind of like an ABC After School special.
Like, boys and girls, there's a blood stain on the stage, and your tears, the tears in your eyes, and those lies you're tempted to, that's the devil!
It's a church lady song.
Or, um...
Uh, Black Sabbath, when they go, Satan laughing spreads his wings.
Oh God, that is a jam.
You know how Black Sabbath started?
Their practice space was above a movie theater and it played horror movies and Ozzy goes, or whoever, Gillespie, whatever his name was, goes, um, let's make music that's scary.
Like, you know a horror movie, you know a horror movie's scary?
Let's make a song that's scary.
So you put on an album and you're scared.
And they did a good job.
But, if you throw Satan in there, and you go, Satan is, what's the scariest thing I can imagine?
Maybe Satan laughing?
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh yeah, that's the scariest thing.
Well then you're religious.
Because I was an atheist as a kid, my parents are atheists, and I remember being a little kid going, so what?
Satan's laughing, spreading his wings, big deal.
Ooh, I'm so scared of Satan!
But now, I am scared of Satan, and I'm going to start sounding like Alex Jones in this podcast because I used to see Satan as just a metaphor, like the devil.
He's just like Nikki Sixx in Motley Crue.
But I'm starting to get more literal with it.
Actual demons.
You know, the way heroin addicts act is so much like there's a little guy on their shoulder saying, just lie.
Just do it.
Even the way they die.
I think with a lot of ODs, they're sort of drifting away, and I'm just making this up, right?
I've never OD'd on heroin, but they're sort of drifting away and there's just, there's a voice in their head going, let's just go.
Let's just drift off into the abyss.
Let's just leave this planet and leave your kid.
Dash Snow, let's just leave your kid, um, who's that famous Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Let's just leave your kids, uh, Heath Ledger.
Let's drift.
And, this is, I'm just making this up, but I honestly think there's a moment there where you're like, uh oh, my heart's gonna stop, my lungs are gonna forget to breathe, because that's how they OD.
Their lungs forget to breathe, and their lungs just go to sleep.
And I feel like there's a moment in there where this scaly hand just goes, let's go, let's go.
And they go, okay, I'll go.
That's kind of satanic, is it not?
Or Purdue Pharmaceuticals.
Here's one thing that's been annoying me these days.
We talk about silly minutia.
But Trump might have said something racist, or there's that guy from NASCAR who was fired or lost sponsors because his dad said the N-word in the 80s.
So we're all tangled up in that bullshit, right?
Meanwhile, 20 black men are murdered a day with gang violence and this stupid drug war.
And I think it's 115 a day from the opioid epidemic.
And the amazing thing about the opioid epidemic is It affects the bartender's kid.
It affects the rich guy on Wall Street.
It affects the rural guy in Ohio.
It's everywhere.
And it should be on the news every day.
Now, I have been noticing it get more attention.
I saw Stephen Colbert finally did something on it.
And, Ryan, we were talking about this the other day.
Since we spoke about this, I'm sorry, this morning, uh, something came up.
Stats Reports, Purdue Pharma's Dr. Richard Sackler wrote, we have to hammer on the abusers in every way possible.
They are the culprits and the problem.
They are reckless criminals.
In a 2001 email included in a lawsuit against pharmaceutical Purdue Pharma.
So you understand what he's saying there?
He's blaming the... Yeah, they're going to try to blame us.
We got to put it, push it on them.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I think that's not even as much of a smoking gun as the other thing where we saw that they had financial incentives.
Didn't they?
I believe there was a whole 60 minutes about these doctors getting financial incentives.
Oh yeah, I've heard that for years, about various drugs.
To do it, and we all know what happens, they stop doing the pill and then we have MS-13 in Long Island happy to sell them heroin.
I think, I bet a bunch of them didn't even know what heroin was.
All these sort of blue collar guys who had a sore back.
But is that a general kind of an evil, or is that like demons?
Well, I think it's like... You know what I mean?
It's like they're possessed by, in Sackler's case, greed, and it knows no bounds and it goes to an evil level.
Yeah, okay, so what you're saying is rational, right?
You're talking about how I used to talk about the devil.
Which is just like, it's just another word for evil.
Yeah.
But I'm, I'm changing now.
Like you think that they're an actual death dealer?
I'm getting more like demony about it.
They're actual demons.
Like I saw that Desmond the, what was it?
Desmond the... Awesome, incredible, wonderful.
Desmond is amazing or something?
Yeah, Desmond is amazing.
He's like a 10 year old drag kid.
Okay, whatever.
But he was at a gay bar and he was dancing around dressed like Gwen Stefani with his huge eyelashes and they're putting money in his pants.
Like, take gay out of it.
Make it a girl dressing up sexy and she's at a bar and men are putting money in her pants and she's 10 and she's dressed up like a sexy woman.
Is that just, that's not just wrong.
It seems to me like it's, it's like there's monsters around.
Yeah, that is, that's rather evil.
I know I sound crazy saying this, and it's hard to articulate, but to me, sometimes it doesn't feel like just plain evil.
Like, winter is cold.
Everything's cold out.
There's no Jack Frost making your nose nip, right?
But I'm getting more like Jack Frostian about it all.
And I laugh my head off at Satanists.
Because I think they're ridiculous.
Did you know Mark Randazza is a friend of mine?
He represents the worst people imaginable.
That's kind of his shtick, like porn stars.
And most recently he took on some satanist case.
And a lot of satanists apparently are quitting and in outrage because they're disgusted that the porn lawyer is representing them.
Now, if you're really evil, if you're a real Satanist, wouldn't you be happy that this spooky guy is- you want Max- I think if you were truly a Satanist, you would be working at Purdue Pharmaceuticals.
You'd have a black lab coat on and black fingernail polish.
You know?
Everyone's got their priorities wrong.
If you're evil, you should be involved in the mass murder.
You should be doing pyramid schemes with Bernie Madoff.
That's evil.
Just sitting around, casting spells with a bunch of old books that you have to blow dust off of, and saying, Ipsum Lama, Horem Epsule, Apsane Sanda, and burning candles.
Shut up!
You don't believe any of that shit.
So many people who are really involved in things and I don't believe that they believe it.
Like the flat earthers.
They don't really believe that.
That was never a thing.
You know, even in cave days, there was maybe 10 flat earthers.
Someone was telling me the other day that they thought Galileo was thrown in jail for saying the earth isn't flat.
Uh, no.
He was thrown in jail.
Well, he kept being a dick.
They tried to not put him in jail.
But he was, basically, the problem with him was he said the universe doesn't revolve, or our galaxy revolves around the sun, not the earth.
And that hurt the earth's feelings.
So we put him in earth jail.
But, uh, yeah, flat earth has never been a thing.
Because cave people could look up and see a thing called the moon.
Or as it was called back then, uh-uh.
Is that accurate?
That cave word?
Yeah.
Yes.
I learned it as an extra, an extra course in college because I needed one more elective.
Well, I happen to be a professional in the arts of cave speak, as it's actually called.
And so I'm calling BS.
Okay.
It's actually, the moon was called... Would you want to go back to cave times?
I would only want to time travel if I had a force field around myself and a T-Rex couldn't bite my head off.
But then you still want to touch stuff, so you don't want to be a ghost.
But you basically want to be Superman.
Yeah.
But there's also a problem with that.
Now time doesn't exist and you can be Superman, so now God didn't create the universe.
Oh, you're kind of thwarting the godly order of things.
Well, God made us.
What I believe is, this is my religion, or how I take Catholicism, God started this whole thing with like a magic goop.
You know in Prometheus where that guy eats some sort of thing that turns him into dust and he goes into the river and then we have humanity?
That's kind of what I see.
Earth as.
God started this first domino, pushed it down.
We have free will.
Oh, I see.
Not a ton of free will, though.
Like, identical twins separated at birth end up with the same interests.
So Ryan Ketsu Rivera would have been the same kid whether your dad fucked off to California or not.
You've had a shittier life.
I can believe that.
Because your dad abandoned you.
I thought it was pretty great.
But?
So far.
Well, no.
You're in desperate need of a father figure.
That's why you love me so much.
I'm your mentor.
But look where it's gotten me.
I've gotten all these wisdoms imparted.
Yeah, because I'm a wonderful, generous guy with a heart of gold.
That's true.
But you could still kill yourself.
You could still become a junkie.
The devil could still get to you.
And the devil exists.
But then at the same time, I laugh in the face of Satanists, but I think the difference, the reason I can laugh at Satan, Satanists and witch, these fucking witches with all their stupid spells, I think that's becoming really common too.
There's more flat earthers in society today than there have ever been in history, and I would argue there's more witches.
Remember when you said you don't believe that they believe what they're saying because if, like, uh, their mother fell ill with cancer or something, they would- Okay, like, take two people, right?
One guy isn't a witch, and he's told his mother has serious breast cancer, it's metastasized.
The other is a practicing witch, he busts his ass all day with newts and fuckin' burning wheatgrass or whatever they do.
They exist!
Go to Williamsburg, they have stores with rows and rows and shelves upon shelves of fuckin' stupid shit!
Like dried frog's eyes!
It's like, he goes to the cash register, he's got like a pound of sage, and the cashier rings it up, she looks at him, she's like, let me guess, cancer?
He's like, yeah.
That's what the sage is for, surely.
Sorry, I got distracted there.
So, you say to the guy who's not a witch, he's looking really bad for your mom, he cries, and he goes to his mom's bedside, and he's destitute.
He's bereft.
You say it to the witch, Exactly the same thing happens.
Because he doesn't believe, and yes there's plenty of male witches, he doesn't believe this shit.
He doesn't inhale and go, I'm gonna need a lot of eye of newts.
I better get to work.
I'll be up all night.
I should take some Adderall.
Because I'm gonna be just busting my ass.
All night, just making concoctions.
They have life-saving potions that they can do, but they still need Adderall.
Can't you just make like a fucking ginseng thing?
Oh my God, if any of these witches have a fucking doctor and take any kind of prescription pills, I am laughing them out of the witchdom.
I'm trying to reverse engineer Xanax.
Are ya?
You don't have to mess with Adderall.
All you need to do is crush 3,000 caffeine leaves and burn them over some balsamic vinegar.
While reciting, there's always some fuckin' poem or some shit.
So I think we can safely say, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Satanists are not Satanists.
It's just a thing you do to sound interesting.
Flat earthers are not flat earthers.
They are young men, usually white millennials, who are trying to get pussy.
And the way you get laid when you're a young man is you're special, and you're interesting, and you know things other people don't think.
You're trying to give yourself depth.
And there's a million ways young men do that.
Often we would parrot our fathers.
Our fathers would say something unusual like, oh, don't believe this shite about the Civil War was about slavery.
It was just about the North pushing, wanting to push around the South and the South saying, nobody pushes me around.
It was just a fucking, a chest puffing competition and it killed the equivalent of 5 million a day.
What do you mean?
5 million died?
No, it was 620,000, but it was equivalent today.
Of today's population, it would have been 5 million.
For what?
Fucking only 2% of the population owned slaves.
They were the rich.
You think, could you see a whole nation going to war over one guy and his fucking Ferrari?
Because they wanted Ferrari owner's rights.
It was very rare, you know.
And you go, shit, I didn't know any of that.
I'm going to become that guy.
I'm going to be the slavery north-south guy at school.
Or you'd be a celibate.
Yeah, I don't.
I'm never having sex.
And then girls would be interested.
Oh, I'm going to break him.
Or your ethnicity even expect white people hate that there's nothing there.
They're just playing like I know this Indian He's half American Indian half white and when he's a kid people ask him if he's Chinese or whatever you go No, no, I'm part American Indian part plane.
So we're playing and White people hate that they're playing, so they'll find an Irish flag, they'll find out their great-grandfather was Irish, and then they've got this ukelele.
What's it called?
That little club?
The Gilele or something?
Uh, Shillelagh.
Shillelagh.
They got the flag on the wall, they're learning Gaelic and shit, they're going back to the motherland, and everyone's like, what the fuck you doing here?
Yeah.
I'm here to be with you, my friend, my fellow.
Some of my relatives, man, the ones that weren't born in Scotland, they are so over the top with the kilts and the fucking Robbie Burns supper and they've got the dagger and the sock and all that stuff.
And they learn bagpipes and everything.
I mean, bagpipes is one of the hardest instruments there is.
It takes seven years.
That's why I like the Satanist stuff.
They're like, um, they want to be a part of something just like everybody else does, but they, um, want to be nonconformist and contrarians.
So they wind up falling into a group of their own, which is, doesn't that take the fun out of it?
They want to be special.
They don't, and it's always the boring people.
Like when you meet someone like you, that is a weird race, Puerto Rican, Japanese, they don't want to talk about it.
In fact, I used to use that to pick up visible minorities.
Or just ignore it?
Yeah, especially when they're ethnically ambiguous.
Because it's like tall people.
Every fucking day, they get asked, what's your ethnicity exactly?
I fucking hate when people say that to tall people.
How tall are you?
It shows some fucking empathy.
You know how often they get that question?
Do you play basketball?
They get that question a million times.
In fact, Flatfoot56 has a song about this, because he's 6'7", and it's called something like, I'm 6'7", motherfucker, leave me alone.
In fact, we were going to do a comedy sketch about a tall guy who loves that subject, and he goes up to people and goes, guess how tall?
Guess how tall?
I don't know, 6'5"?
Higher!
Higher!
6'6", dude.
Can you believe that?
And yeah, I play basketball, I sure do.
I have to get my shoes on the internet.
I think a lot of these moms, too, that say their kid is trans, sometimes I suspect that they're... especially when the kid is one.
Right.
My baby's trans.
Okay.
Yeah, so I'm sort of going, I'm part of the struggle too.
I'm part of the LGBT struggle.
Eh, not so much.
Not so much.
If you have to force it that hard, it's like, um, you're just trying to make yourself look cooler.
Like they're like a prop for you.
Yeah.
Like when you see gay parents going, I'm proud of my gay son.
Okay.
That's cool.
It's 2019.
You should be.
Or, um, uh, Can you say how perverse it would be for a dad to be like, my son gets laid a lot, he loves pussy.
He's always fucking.
I'm proud of my fucking pussy-smashing son.
What the fuck?
My son's seven and he loves pussy.
People would be so weirded out by that.
Well yeah, that's like the Desmond is amazing thing.
I mean, take the gay out of it and it's just not right to have kids being remotely sexual when they're not at the age of consent.
That's not how we built the society.
And if he does do that, that's cool, but like why are there grown adults half naked next to him like, yay, this rules.
It doesn't rule.
You were asking earlier, why do all gays sound similar?
Yeah, I think it's like a frequency that they tap into, just like addicts.
When you start becoming like an addict.
It's like, it takes on a different life.
I think you're wrong.
I think those are two totally different things.
Addicts become possessed by the demons I was talking about.
The evil demon, the same demon that convinced the Sackler family to make billions killing a hundred people a day.
That's like...
On some serious devil shit, man.
Right, right.
But no, the gay thing I think is, I think we would all behave like that if we totally indulged ourselves.
It's in us all.
Like when my dad gets drunk and he pulls up the arms of his blazer and he starts dancing, it's a very sensual kind of, and he's going, hurr to true to grip, vine.
How much longer will you be mine?
Hunna, hunna, yeah.
When he's drunk?
That is hard to listen to.
But he'll dance in a very gay way.
I think we're all gay.
I don't mean like sexually, but if we just totally was like, hi everyone!
Like if you were just you in overdrive, you'd be much more effeminate.
It feels better.
If you were you dipped in U-sauce?
Yeah, it's like Stockbauer.
My buddy in Texas says, he goes, everyone thinks he's gay because he's really effusive, as Texans are.
He's always gesticulating.
And he said, I'm not gay, it just feels good.
That is funny.
You know what it is?
It's almost like when you're on ecstasy and you're just enjoying everything.
It literally is gay.
It's happy.
Texans are happy for the most part, and they act pretty gay.
Like when I first met him, he said to Saroosh, and he goes, What kind of drugs do you like there, boy?
And he goes, I don't do drugs anymore, but I used to do a lot of heroin.
And he goes, ooh, you like getting low.
I don't.
I like getting high.
I like getting higher than a Georgia pine!
That is a little too fun for him.
And I started writing everything down, he said.
And he sees me and he goes, ooh, that's it.
Write it down, boys.
I'm the Oscar gone wild of our generation.
Wow.
Yeah, it was just fun.
Yeah, just over the top.
There's certain people like that, that just... Artie Lang is like that.
Like, when he sees a picture of Kim Kardashian making it rain within a nanosecond, he goes, oh, looks like she's paying Lamar Oden's coke bill.
He is quick as fuck.
It just shot out of his mouth.
If I were to say a joke like that, I would maybe think about it for a minute.
And that's a long time in quip land.
60 seconds, everyone else has moved on.
And you know who else is like that?
It's Jay Johnson, the guy who played the cop on the Sarah Silverman program.
Oh yeah?
Holy fuck, that guy is hilarious.
I picked him up once.
We're on vacation in St.
Martin and St.
Martin is the Caribbean and everything is backwards down there and the parking lot was incredibly hard to get out of.
They didn't have any signs and we kept going in circles.
There's no exit and so we're the second time we've looped around trying to find out how to get the fuck out of the airport and he goes, oh this is an interesting airport actually.
The parking lot was designed by an architect city planner named Williard Nillard.
His friends would call him Willy Nilly.
That's pretty good.
I love puns.
I can come up with those pretty quick.
That's the weirdest, queerest thing you've ever said.
That's not true.
Anyway, um, so... Uh...
I'm sounding crazy, right?
The devil is taking over.
Like, for example, gay marriage, awesome, go nuts, kids.
But the way they keep picking on that one baker, that seems demonic.
Actually, Ann Coulter wrote a book called Demonic.
So I guess what I'm trying to ask on this podcast is, when we talk about the devil, If you'd asked me this two weeks ago, I would say, uh, hey, atheists, it just means evil or bad or, or, you know, temptation.
We all have vices in us.
We all have the temptation to lie and cheat and steal.
And when you succumb to that, you're succumbing to evil, or you could say you're succumbing to the devil.
It's a synonym.
That was me last week.
This week?
I don't know, man.
Men putting money in a little boy's pants seems more than just negligent.
It's sinister.
And then punishing people who don't think that that's cool.
Yeah, or how about the entire nation's focus being shifted away from 20 dead black men a day and a hundred dead opioid addicts a day and to silly minutiae like who said something rude.
Yeah, Louie's jokes.
Louie's jokes.
Louie's consensual sex.
Yeah.
35 million down the drain.
I think there's some real malicious... I think a lot of young people have given up on a family.
I'm just making this up as I go along, by the way.
I think a lot of young people have given up on a family, and I think that feels very unnatural, and so they lash out, and they want revenge.
You'll notice journalism today, especially when it comes to stories about me, it's just vindictive tattletailing.
There's no exploration there.
They don't really want to get to the bottom of anything.
There's no like rebuttals to, like a long rebuttal to an article I wrote about, you know, the state of immigration or something like that.
It's a dog pile and there's no challenge to it either.
Yeah, it's like He says he was in a band.
We found his band members.
They said he was late for practice every day.
It's really snarky, bitchy stuff.
Yeah, it is bitchy.
That's where we get our news from.
Right.
He's really hard to work with.
He's a total bitch.
People are talking about Trump's McDonald's order.
Yeah.
Like, grow the fuck up, you loser.
Or this whole thing about, he said Mexico was going to pay for the wall.
That's so stupid.
They're not going to give him a check.
This was explained very clearly.
He went on Hannity and he said, Hannity said, so you're not saying they're going to give you a check.
And he says, no, we have, what's it called?
Trade deficit.
I forget the term, but we do so much trade with them and they benefit so much from our relationship that I will start taking out of that and saying, look, boys, you're going to, I'm going to cut back here and I'm going to cut back there.
And you're still going to want me as a customer because you get so much from me, but I'm gonna start demanding more.
Just like when you go to the, Say you go to a restaurant, and it's your restaurant, you're there every night, you spend 150 bucks.
You can start saying, yeah, I want the booth by the window there.
That's my table.
From now on, I always want that to be available.
And that's what Trump's saying with the wall.
He's going to be like, yeah, no, you know what?
We're going to get a little more out of you.
We're going to get a little more.
I'm not going to give you this concession or that concession.
And then that profit will go to the wall.
That's all he's saying.
That was made clear.
And he was like, I didn't think you guys were going to take me literal.
How does he have to speak to people, like children?
I'm the guy who said I could shoot someone in 40 seconds straight, or whatever it was.
It's hyperbole.
Have you ever talked to a New Yorker before?
It's called bullshitting.
Yeah.
I was shitting bricks.
Were you actually shitting... A brick came out of your anus?
Are you okay?
You would have to have eaten that brick, no?
You ate a brick?
Or did you have a brick put into your anus?
Or did you eat concrete and then it came out a brick out of your asshole because inside is... Oh my god.
Are you an opioid addict?
Because I've heard that they... You know, here's an interesting thing.
Heroin addicts shit like once every week and a half.
Jesus, that's probably the worst thing about it.
Yeah.
Well, you'll see ads.
Because opioid addiction is so big now, you'll see ads on TV about...
Stool softeners.
Activia.
Activia.
If you look in the fridge of a heroin addict, you will see Jamie Lee Curtis endorse Activia yogurt.
You know, I've got some money, but I'm cheap, so I'd never do anything like this.
But if I had, if I wasn't cheap, I would make someone make a stuffed stool, like, you know, like a teddy bear, but it's a stool.
And I would put it in my kitchen and then people would sit on it and it would collapse, obviously, because it's just stuffed.
I'd say I gave it too much stool softener.
That was retard.
Don't say that word anymore.
We're banning that word.
I stopped.
I said retard.
That's so retard.
It's French for like pâté almost.
It's French for a silly thing.
Yeah.
Oh, c'est toujours un autre retard.
Retard.
You know, another petty thing that like the left tried to scoop up is Trump gave this speech, I think like a graduating class, and he said, we got to get over the wall.
If there's a wall in your way, you have to climb over it.
And that was the whole clip.
Like, they take out of context, look at Trump talking about getting over walls.
Yeah, it's willful ignorance at this point.
Here's another thing we keep hearing about.
This dummy thinks a wall's gonna work.
They all come over in planes.
Most of them come here legally, and then they abscond their visa or whatever.
From all countries, by the way, too.
Yes.
That's not true.
Oh, really?
Yes.
All the documented cases we have of illegals, where we have it on the books that they are here illegally, all of those are from planes and visas.
But that's a tiny fraction of the 30 million who were here.
The ones who are crossing the border, we don't have numbers on.
I've heard estimates of 300 a day.
I've heard 30 a day.
As far as how many are here illegally, the number, the left says 12 million, the right says 30 million.
The vast majority, and actually I think Ann Coulter is doing a story about this right now, something like 80% of them cross the border.
Walking and but 90% of the ones we have on paper are Students or people at H1B visas and didn't go back or people who came here on a two-way You know round-trip ticket and didn't take the trip back.
Those are just the ones we have documented and you keep hearing this lie used again and again and again and it's frustrating because you go you haven't looked it up and And that's just an example of how the news has become sports now.
And it's just like, the Mets are the best team in the league.
And I'm ignoring the fact that the Yankees are amazing.
And they're gonna destroy us this year because they can finally spend money.
Everyone thinks they're just good because they spent a ton of money.
They weren't spending any money.
All their rookies were making under a million.
We're the idiots who bought Cespedes for fucking 100 million bucks.
So we've been spending like crazy, getting nothing.
They've been saving.
They're like the Scots.
They save their money, and then they drop the hammer.
And we're like, I don't know what we are.
I should wear my Yankees hat more.
I don't do it because I feel like... Are you a Yankees guy?
We should hate each other.
I never knew that about you.
I was born in the Bronx.
Yeah, I don't care.
I'm default.
No, people, when I wear my Mets hat, people go, you need to take that hat off, like Yankees guys.
And I get it.
Yeah.
But I feel, I think they're two New York teams.
I don't feel that animosity.
No, me neither.
Not even with the Red Sox.
No, I just go, you're a really good team.
It's like when I was broke, I would know actors and stuff and comedians who were rich as shit.
It didn't bother me in the slightest.
I just look at the Yankees and I go, you are a very, very good team.
I kick their ass on a regular basis.
Not my cup of tea.
The political division and polarity makes me like Unity more, and so when you realize that you like the same sport, like you're a Red Sox fan, I'm a Yankees fan, we're in the same fucking stadium watching them play, we're rooting for the same game.
I gotta admit though, sorry did I cut you off?
No.
I gotta admit, when someone's sitting right next to me, and they're with the St.
Louis Cardinals or something, and we're in Brooklyn, And they're clapping every time they get a home run, and I sort of feel like saying, uh, can you go to a different section, please?
Or I see them on TV behind the pitcher, behind the catcher, sorry, trying to distract the pitcher, and they're in New York, and the fact that you can be in New York and try to fuck with my team in our stadium, that pisses me off.
That disrespect is what it is.
Do you know what would happen to you in fucking Glasgow if you did that?
My cousin was wearing a blue jacket, And someone reached out of a bus and broke a bottle on his head.
Wow!
Now, it's Bloods and Crips over there.
Blue is the Rangers.
They are Protestant.
And they don't... they like England.
They like the Queen.
They like the Union Jack.
They don't want to separate.
Now, the green is the Celtics.
They are Catholics.
They hate England.
They hate the Queen.
They're poorer.
It's also... there's a class thing in there.
So you got religion, class... They side with the IRA.
They side with the IRA.
Dude, they're so radical, they side with Palestine.
Jesus!
Celtics will have Palestinian flags.
Hamas?
Fucking Celtics.
It's my team.
What the hell?
But I gotta admit, I'm not bananas about seeing a giant Hamas flag.
None of them have been remotely near Israel.
That's insane.
And they're waving a Hamas flag?
But it's just, the Scots have this irritating love of the underdog thing, David and Goliath.
So they always choose the underdog because they see themselves as the underdog, and they don't look it up.
They're just like, they're probably pro-Basque separatist, or they probably love the FLQ that committed terrorist acts in Canada to separate Quebec.
Not really too informed on the whole thing, I guess.
And that's what we're getting with the new series.
By the way, I like Hamas.
You like Hamas?
Yeah, but I have to have like pita chips or something.
Maybe celery?
Why are we calling Hamas a terrorist group?
It's delicious!
Maybe you're having too much of it?
Just take pita, have two dips, and put it back in the fridge!
You're not gonna die!
Somebody doesn't like grease very much.
That was like that idea we had where we interviewed an astronomer.
Oh yeah.
Or maybe an astrophysicist and we we got confused and thought it was an astrologist so every time he talks we're rolling our eyes and laughing because it's all been debunked and then at the end of the thing he goes, you're thinking of a fucking astrologist dumbass.
I'm an astronomer.
It's gonna take some work.
I got a lot of good ideas for sketches.
The problem with sketches is to do them right is 20 grand.
And it's lighting, and it's location, all that costs money.
Casting is a bitch.
And, you know, to get it together, to do it right.
Like, how dudes run fashion, I think was the last one I did.
If dudes ran fashion.
And, uh, that one, that was 20 grand.
So I could spend my own money, but it's not a good rate of return on that puppy.
Same with movies.
You make a movie, even if you get like two million to do the movie, everyone's putting in so much insane hours.
I start to wonder if this is minimum wage.
And if you want to make it good, you take a hit personally on your salary, if you're not fucking Ryan Reynolds, and you want to put it into production.
Like, we wanted to get a three-legged dog.
We wanted to get an action guy who can do good fight scenes.
We wanted to get, oh, you want to get songs.
I managed to get Diplo on How to Be a Man.
That was very cool, but we had to put aside a lot of money for music.
It's not a very lucrative endeavor if you're not in Hollywood and part of the 1% who makes these stupid superhero blockbusters.
But anyway, I want to stay on track.
So, what's the matter?
How did you get Redman?
Did you have to pay Redman to do that sketch with you?
Uh, I know him, and my cameraman, no, the cameraman I was working with at the time knows him really well.
Oh, okay.
He wanted to do more stuff.
Dude, he's a great actor.
Yeah, you guys like went off each other really well.
You seem like he's really... Do you know I started a business with Nas?
What?
What the fuck?
We sold it for a ton of money.
You're kidding me.
No.
What was the business?
The business was you would go into a ...a store and it would use your Wi-Fi.
So you'd go into the store's Wi-Fi.
My brain is so shitty that I forgot the name of my company.
Was it Wasp, Storm, Swarm?
Just Gavin McInnes, Nas.
Swarm, yeah, Swarm.
Nas put a million bucks into it.
You go into a store and they say, we have free Wi-Fi here, wanna use the shoe store's Wi-Fi?
And you say, okay.
And now we track all your behavior, but we also track where you are in the store.
And then the store owner gets all this metadata and he realizes things like that big display of socks that I put up, no one has gone near.
90% of my customers just look at the purses.
So then he goes, you know what?
Fuck socks.
Let's focus on purses.
What a great idea.
He sees how long they're in the store.
Because when you accept the terms and conditions, And we don't follow you after that, we don't hack into your personal life or anything, we just see where you go in the store, what you buy, how much you paid for, stuff like that.
That's a great business tool.
I have an idea- Well now they're everywhere.
We were the first, but now you're on the subway, and you know when you're on the subway and you get on the MTA subway thing, they're tracking your every move.
Did not know that.
Yeah dude, every time- Oh I don't- Nothing is free, my friend.
I don't join their Wi-Fi.
Okay, I usually resist doing that But yeah, so that's a I gotta tell you have to remind me.
I have a good invention and I don't want to air it No, it's it's a good I gotta say my I'm 48 years old I'm a half a century old without exception when people say that the idea is so hair whitening Lee stupid that I sometimes get dizzy and Doesn't help that I'm, I'm blasted on Coke right now.
It's just a Coke idea.
No, I'm just kidding.
Want to hear one of the worst ones I got?
Oh yeah.
This guy, and he was, they're always very hush hush about it.
So I have to like, it's like getting, I have to interrogate them and stuff.
And eventually they, they snap, they crack.
And they tell me their incredible idea after I swear on a stack of Bibles, I won't steal it from them and get rich.
And then you're about to say it right now.
Oh, he told me this almost 10 years ago.
10 years ago?
What happened there?
That would be a cool thing.
You know how we were saying everyone needs a cool thing about them?
I'm just gonna have this stuttering affectation.
Oh yeah, that's fun.
I always thought that would be a cool idea for a rapper.
Don't steal this idea!
But it's all like...
You know when, like, when the hoo-wees all, like, why don't you all f-f-f-f-f-fade away?
Yeah, yeah.
But like, yo, what's up?
I'm si-si-si-si-si-six feet too deadly as ice.
The power to fight with the l-l-l-laws that are... Wouldn't that be cool?
Yeah, it's like the song's different every time.
Now you're stuttering!
Did I?
Oh, fuck.
You know, stuttering is an affectation, actually.
I've noticed this with anglophiles.
American anglophiles do it because it's an affectation in Britain, and it's an affectation of Britain because a king... Remember the king's speech?
W-w-w-w-where'd you say that?
What happened with this king?
It's like a style.
Same with the Spanish in Barth- Barthelona.
Barthelona?
The king had a lisp and he couldn't say Barcelona he'd say Barthelona and then everyone started talking like that and saying Barthelona.
That's why we don't button the bottom buttons on our suits because the king was too fat to button the bottom button so nobody buttons.
Really?
Because then they're saying yeah they're skinnier than him.
Shut up.
No, really.
Really?
That's the tradition behind not buttoning the bottom button.
So what was this invention?
So the Brits, the Brits upper class developed this thing, right?
I think mostly.
There's people who are frightened, obviously.
You're going to have the populace being frightened.
I think you're also going to notice a bit of forebearing pulchritude.
S-s-s-sodio.
Especially with Phil Collins.
He was dating a woman and s-s-s-s-sodio was her name.
Sudio was her name Knees in the jungle Got to get to the point where you wonder like who put the And then you get Americans that want to sound erudite I'm probably using that word wrong.
And they say, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I agree.
I mean, I have to agree with you, Gavin, but, but, but, but, but, but.
I do notice.
The only thing more irritating than that is on Tucker Carlson when the guests always fucking say, Tucker, stop doing that.
You know, Gavin, you're absolutely right.
We're not friends!
And they do that on 60 Minutes, too.
Yeah, actually, Dan, what a... Oh, you guys are pals?
And we're just eavesdropping on two buddies at the pub?
Stop talking like you're pals!
When people call Robert De Niro Bob in an interview, I'm like, I want to jump through the fucking TV and smash you.
Robert De Niro's my friend.
I call him Bob.
Even if I did call him Bob, I would always call him Robert De Niro in interviews.
I even think it's irritating to use the word fans.
Don't say my fans.
Yeah, a lot of my fans are just a lot of the people that follow what I do.
I know it takes too long.
I hate the word fans.
I was on Mushrooms with my friend, BK.
They call him BK, and he was like, dude, I always liked that you called me Brian instead of BK.
Everybody calls me BK, but That means, like, you're a real friend.
He told me that when he was on Mushrooms.
And then, since that day, I, like, forgot which one was which, so I just switch it up.
Hey, BK?
And then look to see if his pupils dilate.
Yeah, he's like, what, are we not cool right now?
I mean, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So what was that invention, though?
What was what invention?
The stupid invention?
Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, thanks for reminding me.
So he goes, it's like Twitter, kind of a thing, but it's these groups you get on, right?
But instead of tweeting, you can only share lists.
And you have a network of people, it could be a thousand, it could be five.
And then you come up with a list, like, best horror movies of all time.
And you list your ten, and then they can list their ten.
And then you and your group exchange the list of the best horror movies of all time.
And he thought this was going to be huge!
And I go, but that's just Twitter, or that's just a group text.
And if someone sent me their 10 list of scariest movies of all time, I might get round to mine in like a year.
Right.
I don't have time to sit here and list my, and I feel that way, I bet that's the way with all of our friends.
I bet if we went out and said, Hey man, Gavin's doing a thing, he'll pay you 50 bucks to list your best horror movies of all time.
I bet I would get, start getting them in about two weeks.
Yeah.
That's a really dumb question.
It's like, hey, you know Twitter?
I have a really limited version of Twitter and it's gonna... That's a pain in the ass and gives all your friends homework.
Or this other guy, his big secret idea was, I'm going to have a YouTube page, but I'm not putting anything up on it.
I just curate playlists.
So you go to mine.
You mean like everybody?
And I go, you mean a YouTube account.
What are you talking about?
Oh wow, because Led Zeppelin's got a lot of YouTube accounts.
It's weird.
I'm going to open a new kind of restaurant.
It serves food.
What are you talking about?
That's what YouTube is.
You click on things you like.
Oh, you're going to organize them better?
He goes, no, it's like a museum.
I'm a curator.
So it's like an art exhibit.
I choose the artists.
Yeah, that's what everyone does.
It's called clicking like.
It's called a disc jockey.
With fucking videos.
Not even!
It's like putting, uh, bedazzling the wheel.
Yeah, it's like clicking like on Instagram and thinking you're doing something.
Right.
By the way, sorry, did we finish this Motley Crue talk?
There was a story that, uh, the Record Exec started, where, did I explain this yet?
Oh, yeah, yeah, you talked about this.
Where the cutlery went into the ceiling?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yep.
On this podcast?
Yes, because in this one I started trying to Google his name.
You got that done right up top, pretty much.
Okay, sorry.
I just had that open on my computer screen and I want to make sure we have no stones unturned.
Yeah, so...
This, what I'm seeing now with journalism and this, the general populace, the political discourse has become willful ignorance.
And it's my team versus your team.
And it's got to the point where they want Trump to fail.
They want our team to fail, even if it hurts the country.
Like I've had horrible, dark thoughts that are demonic, where I want Aaron Judge to hurt himself.
Who's Aaron Judge?
Is he a pitcher?
Yeah, he's one of the greatest baseball players of all time and he's on the Yankees and he's eating us alive.
I've had bad Yankees thoughts.
Now, that's a terrible thing to go through your head, to want someone to die.
Not die, but be hurt.
And for what reason?
For the most selfish, small reason.
The Mets might make one tier slightly higher.
That's crazy.
Really?
Everyone wants that.
Now, here's the thing.
I'm not going to go hit his knees with a baseball bat.
That's different.
But if something were to happen to him, and it had nothing to do with me, then that's God, or nature, or whatever, and that's just my luck.
So you're allowed to, I would never pray in a billion years for anything bad to happen to a rival team, but sometimes you have bad thoughts.
And that's what journalism is, but openly.
Like Bill Maher, he said on his show, he said, I want the economy to start sucking so people can see what a cocksucker Trump is.
And Mike Cernovich brought up a good point.
He said, when the economy is bad, suicide rates go up, especially among men.
So you want men to die so you can be right?
Yeah, little families struggling, just like, you know, overwhelmed by their financial problems.
Or even, here's a great example, when there was the caravan going up to the border, I think a lot of lefties were wanting them to get shot.
Were wanting like a child to be hurt.
Ideally there's some blood, and then they can show the picture and be like, this is Trump's America.
What have you done?
And I bet if you gave them truth serum, they'd go, look, it was sad that that kid got hurt, but it was very good for us.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think the right does that too.
When there's a shooting and they're like, please be Muslim, please be Muslim, please be Muslim, please be Muslim.
If it's just a crazy lunatic, then it doesn't make any points.
But if it's a Muslim, then we can say, see, I told you there was a pattern here.
So I think both sides, when there's a shooting—oh my god, this is a horrible thing to admit, but I think it's good because both sides are guilty of this—I think both sides, when there's a shooting, are combing through the article, and the left is looking for a MAGA hat, or a Confederate flag, or Trump likes on Facebook, and the right is just poring through the article looking for the word Mohammed.
Absolutely.
Or, you know, for him to be Antifa, or not just left, but some sort of established leftist, like a politically active DNC person.
And that's a shitty place to be, by the way, America.
And I'm guilty of some of that stuff.
But We're really at a time of the most petty discourse, not just journalism but social media, this whole thing with me and everyone I know being deplatformed and now you can't, I mean I have this podcast for now, we'll see how long this lasts, but Tucker knew this was going to happen.
He said, we're getting into this weird zone where there's just bubbles and you're on your little Facebook group and you have your bubble and then lies can propagate.
Like that lie about how all illegals are here from planes.
That lie is just considered a fact now.
I hear it on Howard Stern all the time.
And that's because you don't have someone else going in there and going, actually, that's not true.
Statistically, blah, blah, blah.
And you're just talking about the documented one.
I used to do that on Twitter all the time.
I go, that's actually a 1984 stat.
And since 1996, it's been totally different here.
That's a common myth.
And then you show the link.
But you can't do that anymore.
That's the kind of shit that makes flat earthers, by the way, too.
Yes.
There's no checks and balances.
And I forget who was saying this, and I probably said this on the podcast before, but pressure cookers have valves.
And Owen Benjamin, Laura Loomer, Milo Yiannopoulos, me, we're all valves.
And you took the screws and you screwed those valves shut now.
It's not a great analogy because the idea of steel on steel, screwing into a steel valve, it makes my teeth hurt.
Like the crunchiness of it?
Maybe it makes like a high-pitched... I hate that stuff, yeah.
Nails on a chalkboard and stuff.
Yeah, when you take away this dialogue and this ability to argue, and you make it all about the bubble, the pressure cooker just keeps cooking and cooking and cooking and cooking, and it's not going to be good.
I mean, talk of civil war used to be for the eccentrics like Alex Jones, but now you're hearing it more from the less right-wing people like Tucker Carlson.
Yeah.
Civil war is kind of happening in various ways.
Like it's, you know how Info Wars was the name of Alex Jones thing?
And then it starts becoming more and more like, no, this is really Info Wars.
Yeah.
Is the irony lost on you that his company is called Info Wars and they're out to shut down his information and he's at war with them?
Yeah, and it's like, hey, it's like taking somebody's pawn on a chessboard.
You're like, I found this article.
I found this article.
Checkmate.
Until this article is written.
Actually, Alex Jones is a great example of the left and the right and how totally different they see the world.
To the left, he's the Sandy Hook guy and will be forever.
To the right, we go, oh yeah, that was that terrible thing, terrible concept he talked about seven years ago.
And that's when he was a lot nuttier.
Now he's, We need shit disturbers.
And he forgives it.
And he said he was wrong.
He apologized for it and took it back.
That's a big move.
Why aren't we allowed to rehabilitate people?
When right-wing people talk about Alex Jones, they never mention Sandy Hook.
Because they've forgotten about that.
They've moved on.
Sensationalism.
We don't remember people by the most sensational things about them.
Well, yeah, that's the thing with the left.
Like when I was at that bar, I know I've said this a hundred times, but the guy was selling wine.
He said, I have a lovely wine from South Africa.
And the guy said, no, thanks.
I'm not interested in South African wine.
And I felt like saying, uh, have you checked it on that place recently?
Like say the past 25 years?
Cause it's, apartheid's not around anymore, my friend.
Check out the farmers and their children being boiled alive.
Oh, I see.
If you're boycotting anything, it should be because of the corrupt ANC government, the Marxists, who are murdering people.
It's not a racist place.
So his idea of the whole place is stained with the one... Yeah, but that's how curious people are.
They're mentally obese.
And they just stick with that one narrative.
Oh, that's that guy.
He did that thing.
He's the bad man.
And it's really dangerous.
By the way, speaking of Laura Loomer, did you hear what she just did?
It was a number one topic, I think on Twitter, and they kicked it off.
Is when she jumped Pelosi's yard with illegals?
Yes.
Is that the one?
I think Pelosi has like a vineyard or something, but this big beautiful place in Napa Valley or whatever the fuck it is.
And she went there with a bunch of illegal aliens and they set up tents.
And she went to the door and... Isn't that trespassing?
I mean, she knew that she wouldn't be there.
And she said, well, Nancy Pelosi said everyone is welcome here.
So I thought that it would be cool if we just camped out.
Maybe other people could come here and stuff.
That's, that's ballsy.
And then she said, uh, my, she kept calling the illegals.
She brought her amigos.
And then when they kicked them all off the property, she goes, they're deporting us.
They're deporting me and my amigos.
Now, Laura Loomer's done stuff like she's, uh, she's, uh, chased Uma Abedin down the street.
I wasn't bananas about that.
Although you should look up Uma Abedin's mother and her publication, but, um, You need shit disturbers, you know?
You need people there.
I like that there's all these conspiracy theory nuts, because some of them are true.
Sometimes you find out that they really are making the frogs gay.
I mean, estrogen in the water supply is affecting amphibians, and amphibians, they can choose their gender at a very early stage, and they tend to be making more female amphibians because they're confused by this extra estrogen in the water supply.
That's a very boring way to say, they're turning the frogs gay!
Right.
So you need stuff like that, and sometimes you look it up and it's wrong.
By the way, you talk about like hate speech or something, all I read when I read the paper is hate speech.
Hate speech about conservatives, hate speech about Trump.
And I have to constantly be looking up going, did he really say that?
Like the time they said that he reads Hitler's speeches every night.
He's got Hitler's speeches on the nightstand.
That's our president.
And I went, Jesus, that's brutal.
If that's true, lefties, you made a hell of a point.
I didn't know that.
Maybe you're right.
Then I look it up.
And about 15 years ago, he was reading Hitler's speeches.
And he has a bookshelf in his room because he's rich and his room is giant.
And he has room for a bookshelf.
And among the other tons of books that were probably all over the map, one of them was a book of Hitler's speeches.
I heard it was given to him and they suggested he read it.
You should read Hitler's speeches.
You should read Che Guevara's speeches.
You should read Fidel Castro's speeches.
That's a huge part of history is reading speeches.
How many times when they talk about Churchill do they talk about his speeches?
Right.
He's just a good guy speech.
You should read Mao's speeches.
You should read Stalin's speeches.
You should read everything.
How did this guy convince that many people?
What was he saying?
And it was his wife who brought it up during a divorce, so she was trying to make him look bad.
But that becomes, he reads Hitler every night before bed and falls asleep with Mein Kampf on his chest, dreaming of having Nazi fantasies.
But the question is, when people say this, like when that guy said that it was on MSNBC, he's gotta know that that's bullshit.
It's sort of like when Obama said that women get paid less.
Do they know this?
And this sort of goes back to what we were saying before.
There's people fucking around, like Nikki Sixx, when he's in Motley Crue.
He doesn't really like Satan.
First of all, he never said, shout at the devil.
That record exec is definitely lying, because we read the lyrics to Shout at the Devil, and it's an anti-devil song.
Um, but he doesn't believe in Satan in the way that, you know, uh, heavy metal guys think they can summon him and they can use his powers with curses and spells and all that shit.
That's just a joke.
It's just fashion.
And that's fine.
I think that's healthy in music and pop culture to have fashions.
Mods and rockers fighting on the beach.
That was really cool and interesting.
In the 1960s, mods and rockers would go to this one beach in Britain for rioting and they would just fight on the beach.
And the rockers, their only beef was music.
Mods liked more traditional northern soul and British music, and the rockers liked Elvis Presley and Eddie Cochran and all that.
That was the impetus for the whole fucking war.
And it went on every summer, I believe.
Anyway, that's silly.
That's fun.
That's just kids, greasy kids stuff.
But now that it's on the news and the guy's lying, that's different.
Now we're turning America into a bitter tattletale bullshit session where people are being woefully ignorant of the truth and trying to get other people hurt, sometimes killed.
That's an issue.
And that's where we're at today.
So we started out having something sacred and that was, all right, there's the truth.
And if you're a serious newscaster, you're telling the truth and you want to get to the bottom of it.
You don't say that the president secretly reads Hitler speeches every night.
But that day's gone.
Now we're all acting like Nikki Sixx.
We're all acting like Motley Crue, pretending that Trump is Satan.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
It's a lot of hype, and it's all negative, really.
And it's...I think it's wrong, too, because... It's morally wrong.
I'm taking a stand.
And, by the way, speaking of Satan, it's a great breeding ground for...for evil.
Yeah, because now you dehumanize people so you can do whatever you want to do with them.
Yeah, go kill Ann Coulter.
She's not a person.
Go witchcraft them with the effigy and fucking light it on fire and shit.
I mean, hold Trump's decapitated head up.
The left has dehumanized him so much that they fantasize about him dying.
Check this out.
I was watching this video.
They talked to people on the streets and it was like, what do people think of Trump?
And at the end of it, she's like, she's talking to her co-host and the co-host is like, unfortunately, I think Trump's going to win.
She's like, why do you say that?
She says, I think I don't know a lot of people that are going to vote for him.
She's like, well, what can we do?
He's like, well, I'll just cast my vote against him, and that's all I could do.
She says this.
She says, well, I heard of people taking their grandparents' passports away, so that way they can't vote, because usually they vote conservative, so maybe that's something you could do?
That's a good idea!
Yeah!
Un-fucking-believable, isn't it?
That's it!
And then you could also just lock them in the basement with some food and a bucket for shitting in.
Or yeah, you don't even need the food really.
I mean, it's just one day.
Like what the fuck is the matter with it?
And then you take it away.
Hey folks at home, lock your grandparents in the basement.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Take away their rights to vote.
Take away their expression because you don't agree with it.
And you're a dumb young kid and they've experienced way more than you ever have.
Unbelievable.
And she says this with like giggling.
I've heard people saying, if your husband supports Trump, you should divorce him.
I'm not talking about me, although that's happened a million times, but I'm talking about like the New York Post, like articles, writing, people saying this, couples getting divorced, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
And I was talking to someone the other day and she said, look, I disagree with pretty much everything you say, but I think you have the right to say that whole thing.
And I said, I don't believe in disagreeing.
I don't think we disagree.
I think whatever we disagreed on, like immigration, we could lock ourselves in a room with computers and researchers and stay up all night and we would come out of that room on the same page.
Like with music, you have to agree to disagree, but with political ideology, isn't it just accrued data?
Subjective, yeah.
Objective, yep.
Like that whole thing about the immigration to Plains.
Everyone had 100% of the facts, like almost sentient levels of information.
I don't see how they could disagree.
I remember a black guy said that to me at Fox News.
He goes, yo man, I don't, I don't agree with a lot of what you say, but man, I like that you got the balls to say it.
And I'm, I felt, I didn't, we didn't have time.
We're walking down the hallway, but I was like, which one?
Like my views on free lunches?
Well, I think it's a scam that the schools use.
There's seven million dollars in debt.
A turkey sandwich I worked out costs like a dollar three.
If you can't get a dollar three together, you're worse than a bum.
Bums get ten bucks together for their vodka.
I don't think it's the school's job to provide lunch.
Actually, you know what's funny about that one?
I had like an eight hour discussion with David Cross about free lunches and after, with research and everything, and after all that, he still disagreed with me.
So it has happened to me once, where we had all the data and we still disagreed, but now because politics is sports, it's just like, hey man, you're a Yankees guy, I'm a Mets guy, and I disagree with a lot of what you guys do, but I respect that you play baseball well.
It's not sports.
It's not music.
It's not sports.
They should admit that there's no factual foundation to their feeling.
It's a feeling.
I just don't like him.
I've been told nothing but bad things about him.
I turn on the TV, hear nothing but bad things about him.
I just don't like him.
They don't watch Dinesh D'Souza's thing on the history of the Democrats or anything.
They don't want to be converted.
I remember I had a Jehovah's Witness At my house once and they said, we'd like to recommend some reading and stuff.
And I said, well, I'd like to.
I was I was much younger.
I was probably like 22 back when you waste your time with arguing with people like that.
And I said, OK, well, I'd like to show you some literature.
And they said, well, does it provide hope?
And I said, not necessarily.
And they go, well, I would rather spend my time doing other things.
So we're getting to the point of religious puritanism, where it's just their religion and they don't want to be changed.
I want to be changed.
In fact, I would argue, you're not a man unless you change your mind about something major once a year.
And you're not changing your mind, you're evolving.
Right.
You're getting more informed and you're realizing that you were wrong about that.
Bruce Lee said that about his fights.
Really?
And for his life, yeah.
Be like water.
Water is liquid and it takes whatever form necessary to exist in whatever container arise.
That was racist of you, by the way.
Because you're Japanese, you can't do a Chinese thing.
Oh, fudge.
Yeah.
But he says if you crystallize too much, then you'll break.
And then if you're too gaseous, then you'll fuckin' flow away.
Great point.
That's what happened to America.
We crystallized, and now we're breaking.
Yep.
I don't like the crystallization of America.
You know, you look at skateboarders.
They don't do any trick that they can do.
Huh?
Because that's a waste of time.
Oh, they're always on the fringe.
They've already mastered an Ollie kickflip.
Same with guitar.
It's like you're always playing to where you sound shitty.
Yeah.
You can play things that make you sound good.
Watch kids skate.
All they're doing is wrecking their legs and falling.
Yeah.
Because they can already do all those other tricks.
That's so true.
So, you know, you watch them sometimes they'll do a rail slide or something.
And just to sort of like, I wouldn't mind not falling just once.
But 90% of the time they're, you know, destroying themselves.
Trying to get that extra rotation or whatever?
Yeah, trying to get better, trying to improve.
Yeah.
And I think mentally we're the opposite.
We're just sitting here doing the same ollie again and again.
Click, click, click, click.
By the way, that's why I was falling so much on that hill.
I was just trying new carves and stuff when we went snowboarding.
No, you were falling a lot because you suck.
I could have easily just went down.
In fact, you saw me sometimes just like kind of going down, but I was trying to improve.
No, you would fall sometimes every ten feet, and my five-year-old would just whiz past you with his arms in the air going, yeah!
I did remember, yeah.
My five-year-old could destroy you.
I'd had some good moments, okay, and you can't take that away from me.
That should be on your gravestone.
I had some good moments.
That's funny.
Yeah, remember I said to you on the ski hose, I said, you need to look in the mirror and go, I'm capable.
I'm capable.
I'm capable.
Because I think it's important that you get better at lying.
Yeah, the exact words, because I'll never forget them now that I'm damaged.
You were like, I'm sitting there wiping snow off my face, I'm like, and you're like, I need you to look in the mirror when you get home and say, I'm not a spaz.
I'm not a spaz.
Spaz, I thought about it, it brought me back to, you probably were thinking like 14 year old Gavin that was like hitting the slopes and you're like, spaz?
I never heard you say spaz.
Well that's, when you, when you look at you ski, and the way you fall too, you don't even fall right.
You just think spaz.
It's like someone put dynamite under your snowboard or something.
You don't, you don't go oof, you sort of go bleh!
And flip forward.
And it's very spaz-like.
Ah, that's funny.
Alright, so have we made our point here?
Yep.
It's a weird episode, because we're talking about sort of two different things.
Demons.
There's the Alex Jones version of Satan, where you picture actual demons, like roaming the earth, that have horns and stuff, right?
Then there's the more sort of scholarly, academic version of Satan, which is, it just means evil, it's just a synonym for bad.
And I am drifting towards the demony stuff.
So that's one point.
And don't take that out of context and say Gavin says he's becoming Alex Jones.
I'm just saying that some things are so dark that they don't look like a simple metaphor for evil.
They almost look so sinister.
It almost appears as if someone's behind it.
Some dark force is behind it.
Seeing a child dance on a stage sexually and with money and everyone laughing and clapping.
That is demonic.
And seeing a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company facilitate the deaths of... what are we at now?
Thousands?
I mean it's hard to talk about because heroin was around killing people but this recent wave is fucking insane and it should dominate the news.
50% of the news should be about it.
People throwing piss on Lauren Southern.
Demon.
They see her, and she thinks a certain way, she says certain things.
Piss on her.
What?
She's banned from... that 100 pound, 25 year old little girl... With an amazing ass.
That was always my favorite thing that you said.
You just don't see it coming.
You just compliment her.
This smart, beautiful, 100 pound...
Yeah, she's banned from Britain for eternity.
Facing ass.
When did I say that?
Of the speech at the Republican Club.
Oh, really?
I don't even remember that.
It was so fucking funny, yeah.
Yeah, she's banned from Britain for eternity.
She cannot go there when she's 89 for the horrible things she did.
And she said the horrible thing she did was sort of a joke performance art thing where she pretended that she was a la LGBTQ.
A-la for gays.
A-la for gays.
A-la for queers or something.
Which is a thing I've seen in America, at women's marches and stuff.
And I've seen like rainbow burkas and stuff.
So all she was doing was bringing that sort of liberalism to a radical Islamic part of Luton in UK, which is kind of a suicidal move.
Yeah.
That's all she did.
And so ultimately, she's banned for blasphemy.
Unbelievable.
In the Western world, a woman is banned for blasphemy.
Wow.
How hard did we work to separate church and state?
How much bloodshed was that?
Especially in Britain, that's where it started.
In Scotland, Scotland invented the idea of separating church and state, and a lot of heads rolled, and they finally did it.
And then Lauren blasphemes Islam and she can't go back.
But anyway, so we talked about that thing, how we're getting kind of conspiratorial and spooked out by how evil some things can be.
And we're being irrational about it at this point?
Me and Ryan I'm talking about?
Yes.
And then secondly, and I think the two you could argue are related, secondly the discourse in this country and the way we're all talking has drifted from any kind of rational behavior and become kind of religious puritanism.
Basically I guess the theme of this show is we're going back in time.
We're getting back to Victorian England.
And we are not amused, and we're worried about blasphemy, and we don't speak to the lower classes.
Public executions on social media.
It really is.
Gather around and watch this person be banned and fucking punished.
And maybe that's why that Motley Crue thing I found so interesting.
Because all this good and evil that's going on here in this massive dichotomy, it made the song so much more intense.
It's not just a silly 80s metal song anymore.
It's the vision of the future.
Those who have the youth have the future.
So come now, children of the beast.
Be strong and shout at the devil.
Don, don, don.
Don, don.
God, they must have been impressed with themselves.
Ha, ha.
That is a jammer.
I met Tommy Lee once, actually.
Did I ever tell you that?
I was going to say, if I ever meet Tommy Lee, I'm going to say to him, whenever you're drumming, do you ever go, holy fuck, I'm good at this.
But I remembered I did meet him.
He was a big fan of my Do's and Don'ts book.
Cool.
And I went up, and he's like, yo.
He does that LA thing, right, where they wear a floppy denim hat, and they want to hug you, and they say yo all the time.
Yeah.
And he goes, yo, what's up?
And my brother, what does that mean?
He gives me this big hug.
I hate that about LA people.
But I go, hey, whoa, this guy's got a boner.
I turned to all his friends.
Not one of them laughed.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Oh, wow.
He was pissed off.
What?
He sits down.
They're all staring at me.
He swigs his beer, and then he moves a table over and starts talking to the waitress, and eventually takes her up to his room.
Get out.
Wow.
And then I sat there for, like, I had half my beer with his friends who were all wearing, like, L.A.
stuff, like a leather shirt and, like, a fucking little beard.
Tons of rings.
Tons of rings and chains on their boots and their denim was so stressed it was nearly having a heart attack.
And so I had half my beer and I just went, oh wait, that didn't go great.
And Tommy was already gone.
He went up to his room with that chick.
So I was like, okay, that joke bombed.
I didn't say this, but I should have said, guys, it's called a fucking joke.
Right.
Tommy Lee did not have an erection when he hugged me.
He's not dying to fuck me, you idiots.
There's a line between not funny and you're socially exiled from now on.
Like, what the fuck?
Relax.
Like, do the math.
You think Tommy's sitting there lusting me?
You think your buddy that you watch fuck girls five times a day is secretly dying to fuck me in my ass?
Tommy's railing the chick out, he comes down like 45 minutes later, and you guys are still talking about it.
I was like, you're still talking about that erection, wasn't it?
Guys, it was a joke.
Tommy comes back down, he goes, sorry guys, I had to go fuck a chick.
That guy, Gavin, makes me so horny that I was worried the gay was coming out of me.
