Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh critique America's disjointed pandemic response, likening it to Dr. Pimple Popper while mocking Governor Cuomo's contradictory school and daycare policies. They contrast this with Ireland's St. Patrick's Day pub closures, speculate Tom Hanks was quarantined for compliance, and analyze global failures like Britain's herd immunity strategy to save pensions. The hosts urge listeners to stock luxury items, avoid big-box stores, invest when JFK shuts down, and ultimately stop being selfish to ensure safety during the lockdown. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Hysterically Pathetic Handling00:02:38
What up, friends, enemies, and everyone in between?
It's your boy Sheltie here.
Alex Media is also in the building.
What up, Al?
I am in the building.
Oh, there's no urban?
They tried to come for your urban, bro.
I saw that.
They tried to come for your urban.
Anyway, we're back with another episode of whatever this is.
We don't know what this is.
We're just trying to guide you guys through this whole corona pandemic experience.
Obviously, it's fucked up and affecting everybody differently and affecting everybody at different paces.
That's something we've definitely learned from this.
You guys listening or watching at home, have you ever seen Dr. Pimple Popper?
Do you know what that is?
It's this Asian woman who like pops these like massive abscesses that just grow on people, right?
And she's got a TV show on TLC about it.
She started on Twitter.
And I remember I used to watch her on Twitter because don't touch your face.
Take a shot every time I touch my face.
You will be destroyed within the first three minutes of this video.
But yeah, I used to watch her on Twitter, and these people would come in and they would have a fucking grapefruit hanging off their eyebrow.
Okay?
A massive abscess.
What is it called, Al?
What's another name for it?
It's not even a pimple.
Growth, whatever the fuck it was.
And she would cut them off their face, and it was this like interesting experience.
It was kind of cathartic as she would pop these big blisters, whatever they were, growths, et cetera.
But I always remember thinking, I'm like, how the fuck could you wait this long?
How could you walk around and act like a normal person when you have a fucking ostrich egg hanging off of your forehead?
Right?
I couldn't fathom that somebody could do that.
Now I get it.
When I see America's response to the coronavirus, I get it now.
We are the people that go to Dr. Pimple Popper, and we don't have a fucking Pimple Popper.
We literally need somebody to squeeze that football growth off of our face.
Because the way that we're handling this, it's kind of like hysterically pathetic.
Like, it's really just a country kind of run by idiots.
I know people say this all the time, and I never really thought it, right?
Because I think you see politicians in like nice suits.
So when you see someone in a nice suit, you think they're smarter than they are, maybe.
But I was watching Governor Cuomo today, who's trying to do the right thing.
Country Run By Idiots00:15:08
Don't get me wrong.
He's trying to do the right thing.
And I think he's trying to run for president in 2024, but it doesn't matter.
Everybody got their little own agenda here.
But he was on TV.
He was saying what we need.
And he was, you know, I want, they were talking about shutting down the schools.
He goes, I don't want to shut down the schools unless we get daycare centers open.
Okay.
These kids need to go somewhere.
Cuomo.
If you're afraid of the kids getting coronavirus at the school, what the fuck do you think the difference is at the daycare center?
Is there something special about the daycare center?
Is there some coronavirus field going on at these daycare centers?
Well, maybe we should just teach school at the fucking daycare center.
How on earth is that going to help anyone?
Now, I understand why they don't want to shut down the schools because I think we spoke about this last episode, right?
Yeah, well, some people have to work.
And so.
All these healthcare providers, right?
All the nurses, all the doctors, all of them have kids, right?
So when they get to send their kid to school, they don't have to pay for a babysitter, this, that, the other.
But a daycare center is not going to be the thing that makes it work.
I mean, you just see this like time and time again.
These people making these absolutely stupid decisions.
Dude, it was St. Patty's Day, like today, I think.
Yeah.
St. Patty's Day today.
Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well, celebrating it, but it's whatever.
They do the whole parade thing, right?
So you had Americans going to St. Patrick's Day parade all over America.
White people.
It's always been a white holiday.
You know what I mean?
But not a lot of black Irishmen.
I used to celebrate, though.
You did?
You'd be the one black guy?
Yeah, just because it's the day before my birthday as like a pre-celebration.
Ah, wish happy birthday to Alex if you're still alive.
So they're celebrating St. Patrick's Day, right?
You see this happening all over the country.
Dude, there was a buddy who listens to the podcast.
He said he was doing pub crawls in Chicago for St. Patty's Day, right?
Ireland closed down all their pubs today.
Guys, what are we doing?
Ireland closed down their pubs.
You can take a St. Patty's Day off if Ireland is taking one off.
Okay?
I just don't get it.
I don't understand why people are so just reluctant to accept that this is a real thing.
Do you understand what it comes from?
Yeah.
No, I don't know where it comes from, but it needs to hit us to be real.
Dude, somebody says he needs to die.
And we thought, and I honestly, I don't believe that Tom Hanks and his wife have it.
And I'm not trying to be conspiratorial about it.
I truly don't think they have it.
I think that it was basically some people in power who are like, okay, who does everybody know?
We need to get people to take this seriously.
Everybody knows Tom Hanks.
Hey, you're quarantined.
And also, if you guys aren't sending Tom Hanks volleyballs, you're assholes.
Okay.
That is the best gift for Tom Hanks.
The second he's like, yeah, me and my wife are quarantined.
If you don't give him a Wilson, he will throw his wife right out the window.
The second he gets that volleyball.
I photoshopped the picture of his wife's face on the volleyball because her name is Rita Wilson.
He's always had a Wilson.
Oh, you cornball Tom Hanks.
We're on to you.
We're on to you.
Dude, this guy got stranded on an island right now.
That's right.
This is his dream.
What is it called?
Shipwreck.
What was the movie?
Castaway.
Castaway 2.
Him and his real Wilson.
Wow.
You think she talks as much as the volleyball?
Anyway, okay, where were we?
So.
All the plays that are locked down.
Say again.
I think you're talking.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So basically, what's happening globally?
Let's go back to the world.
What's happening in the world, real quick.
And then I want to get to what's going to happen in the United States because we said it's going towards quarantine.
You already see that happening.
And I want you guys to be prepared to live like kings during the quarantine because you can king out of quarantine.
I've spoken to some people in countries that are currently quarantined, and they told me the do's and don'ts about the quarantine.
So I'm going to have y'all ready to go.
But first of all, what's happening?
Countries on full lockdown.
Italy, Spain, France.
Okay.
Basically, all these countries.
And it's so funny to hear them talk about.
They're like, I don't know why it happened to us.
I don't know.
I can't understand why the coronavirus comes.
It comes to us.
I don't know.
I talked to you later.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm.
And then you kiss the fucking UPS driver 16 times for delivering a package.
This is why it affects you.
This is why it's going to everybody.
It's not even.
It's like the more affectionate of the country, of course, the more they're going to get Corona.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Italy's a touchy people.
That's it.
Non-stop.
Kissy-touchy.
And even the guys hitting on the girls is like they still do the whole ground.
Touching your arm.
It's just constant corona.
You walk down the streets of Italy, you're going to get Corona.
Same with France.
Same with, I think Portugal's fucked up.
Spain as well.
They're locked down.
Germany is closing borders except for like deliveries and that kind of shit.
Oh, we're.
Yeah, it's going down.
It's really interesting because all it took was like one tragedy for like the Brexit people to get what they wanted.
Like, you know how Brexit people are out there, like, yeah, we need to have our own countries and shut down borders and everybody needs to have their own independence.
And then Germany is like, no, we have one country.
We are Europe all together.
And then a couple costs and sniffles come around.
It's like, well, maybe we close the borders for a little bit.
Maybe it have a little separation.
So that's Germany going back on their shit.
And oh, I heard some interesting moves about Russia.
I don't know how truthful this is, but like you're starting to see people use Corona for their own personal interests.
Like countries use Corona for their own personal interests.
Okay.
In what way?
So Russia apparently has a big vote coming up, right?
I think April 22nd.
The vote is for Vladimir Putin to maintain power so we can have like another 12 years, right?
So obviously people are going to want to come together, riot, and protest, right?
But what did they say because of Corona?
No public gatherings.
Nyet, nyet, net.
Don't come and hang out, especially not in public areas because you could get corona.
Wow.
Smart, right?
Wow.
They know what the fuck they're doing out there.
And then the craziest situation of all is how Britain is handling Corona.
Have you guys read up at all about how Britain is handling Corona?
They just say this is almost comical.
They're just saying, nah, fuck it.
That's their reaction.
They're like, we're all going to get it, so what?
Right?
And they're just going to go for that herd mentality thing we were talking about.
So basically, if 60% of the population ends up getting it, then it becomes very hard to pass on.
So they're basically like, old people, stay inside, and then everybody else keep doing what you're doing.
And then if everybody gets it, everybody gets it.
Wow.
So they're accepting that people will die.
They're accepting that that will happen.
And I think low-key, they're just like trying to get pensioners out of there because you know, have this like amazing pension program.
Yeah, yeah.
And they can't probably support it.
So they're like, okay, let's just knock off all the old people.
Now we don't have to pay their pensions.
Economy is going to be booming after this.
And we come out ahead.
Everybody else is trying to save their old people.
We're going to come out young, hot, Golden State Warriors.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Lots of rookies.
That's some diabolical shit.
Real talk.
They fucking tanked for the first pick.
Britain is tanking for the number one draft pick, and they might get it low-key.
Fucking restructuring the team.
They really are, dude.
All the old British people that live to like 100 years old, they got those like moles on their face.
Where's Dr. Pimple Popper when you need him?
But they're going to be dead.
And then young Britain, it's going to be all Anthony Joshua's.
Just right-wing Britain's like worst nightmare.
Shout out to that, what's his name?
Boris, that motherfucker?
I don't know who that is.
Yo, Boris and Bernie Sanders got the same comb.
Who's Boris?
Boris Johnson, the prime minister of England.
Oh.
Of Great Britain.
And both of them, there's a great meme, but it's a both of them look like they comb their hair with a balloon.
Okay, I remember that.
Okay, so where else are we at?
What about us here?
What do we do?
So what do we do?
What do we do?
This is what's going to happen.
Okay.
Right now, you see America's like going towards quarantine, right?
We're doing this cute little shit right now where we're saying no more bars and restaurants.
But they're basically trying to like remove all public gathering places.
You've seen this happen, right?
So like California is shutting down bars and restaurants.
I think they're shutting down all bars and the restaurants after a certain hour, right?
They've made all places reduce capacity to like 50%, right?
So now like half capacity, I guess, makes it less, you know, catchable corona because of the social distancing thing or something.
It's fucking retarded.
It's retarded.
I don't know what it is.
Point being is if you're a loser with no friends, you can just say you're social distancing.
I think that's the way to hustle this shit.
All you GameStop nerds, go out.
Now's your time to shine.
Is it just you for the reservation?
Yeah, I would.
I would have come with my friends, but I'm social distancing.
These incels are about to be cooler.
Incels are trendsetters, bro.
Incels at home playing Call of Duty.
Like, yo, I've been social distancing for a minute.
All my friends live in Zimbabwe.
Actually, I don't know if you got Call of Duty in Zimbabwe.
Anyway, point is: yes, all these plays, Illinois shut down bars and restaurants.
Hoboken has a fucking curfew.
Puerto Rico has a curfew.
That being said, I think they've had a curfew since that hurricane.
I don't think they have electricity.
Sorry, Alex.
I know that's your people.
I know.
But their curfew is nightfall.
La Noche is their curfew.
Oh, man.
So, so, yeah, so now we're going towards like, it's like a pseudo-quarantine.
This isn't going to work.
And then they're just going to go, all right, everybody, fuck it, stay inside.
That's basically how this is going to happen, I promise you.
But I think they don't want to tell everybody to go inside because I think they don't want to like completely shut down the economy.
I think if they just go, everybody has to stay inside, then we all go, oh, it's a wrap.
But as long as business can like pretend to be operating, then I think everything is going to be okay.
Then I think they believe it's going to be okay.
But it's eventually going to go to quarantine.
Everybody's going to be in for at least two weeks, maybe a month, right?
Because that's literally what every other country is doing.
All we have to do is look at Europe.
They're ahead of us.
It's the same disease.
It's the same timeline.
We look at Europe and then go, okay, that's going to be us.
All right.
We're going to be quarantined.
Now, before you get upset, before you get bummed, remember, you're not listening to one of those fear-mongering podcasts or shows.
You're listening to Andrew Schultz and Alex Media, okay?
So we're going to find some positivo in this shit.
How do you live like a king during your quarantine?
What do you do?
I know the question everybody has is: what are the necessities?
What should I get?
Fuck the necessities.
Get the luxuries.
I know that sounds crazy, but just hear me out on it.
All the grocery stores are going to be open.
All the pharmacies are going to be open.
Okay?
You know who's not going to be open?
Kiels.
All right?
You can go to the grocery store and get your Lucerin or whatever, like regular lotion.
Or before everything gets shut down, you go to your fancy stores and get the shit that you like.
Stock up on that for a month.
So you get the soaps you like, right?
You get the lotion.
You like the shampoo.
You get all the things that you want to be specific with in your life.
Face wash.
You know, girls have 15 different face washes and hairspray and all that kind of shit.
Right?
They take up the whole thing.
And we're supposedly bad for the environment.
Every one of these girls is environmental disaster walking around.
What?
Your girl's got all her shit at your place?
No, I'm just saying when girls come over, they leave a lot of stuff.
Let's just say that.
Your girls are bringing shampoo, duck?
Snacks?
Yer.
That's you in the bathroom.
Like, you're get your stuff out of my bathroom.
So, uh, get your ass home.
Where's your bathtub?
That shit is looking spicy and span right now.
It's about to be my shit.
So.
I like that, though.
Get luxuries.
I like that.
No bullshit.
Because if you're going to be locked down, you got to be locked down, living good, right?
So here's a couple things.
Make sure you get the luxuries, right?
Another thing that's very important, because I'm talking to my buddies, I'm talking to people in Italy and people in parts of Canada that are locked down, right?
Because they were like in contact with the people that had the virus.
And they're like, bro, get things that you normally don't consume in your house.
That's the number one thing everybody forgets, right?
For example, I don't ever drink coffee in my house.
I don't have a coffee machine.
So the second you get quarantined, that's no more coffee for you.
Right?
So what you got to do is make sure that you got a coffee maker or you get yourself a little coffee maker and the coffee you like because you're going to want to wake up and have that morning coffee.
I don't have sweets in my house ever.
I don't have candy.
I don't have chocolate.
I don't have none of that shit.
But if I'm out, I might want a little something sweet, a little dessert.
Boom.
You get it.
Get all those things.
A snapple.
San Pellegrino.
You know those are like little sodas.
They're like grapefruit flavored, pomegranate flavored, all that kind of shit.
Get some of those.
Get the shit that you would never have in your home.
You'd never buy it for groceries.
You'd never do any of that kind of stuff, but you enjoy because you're going to want those indulgences for the next like couple weeks or month.
Obviously, call the weed plug or hit up the weed spot, right?
Because Cali, all these other places, they got the legal weed, so go, but they're shutting that down immediately.
Remember, it's only going to be grocery stores, pharmacies open.
That's it, okay?
What else was there?
I think.
Oh, yeah, just those luxuries.
You get those.
I think you should be good.
Also, gyms are going to be closed.
You're going to have to work out.
Okay.
Because if you don't work out, everything your girlfriend or boyfriend says is going to drive you fucking crazy.
I know how that is immediately.
Anytime they disagree about anything, it drives you fucking crazy unless I get that shit woos out and calmed down.
So I got my boy who works for this NBA team to get like a trainer to give them a hotel workout.
Gyms Closed, Work Out00:04:02
Also, YouTube has tons of these like in-your-home workout or hotel workout, a 30-minute workout.
You get that corona cardio in and I think you'll be good.
If you buy some weights or even those bands, those bands are kind of lit, right?
Because they don't take up any space.
You don't have to like be lugging around dumbbells in your apartment, but you can get a pretty good workout.
But keep the workouts on.
And that's it.
I think I have one of those workouts.
I'll post on Instagram if you guys want.
I'll give it to Al so he'll post on Instagram, et cetera.
But yeah, so what's going to happen?
How are you going to get groceries, et cetera?
I spoke to my friend who's in Italy and she broke down how they get the groceries and everything out there.
You can pretty much leave the apartment whenever you want, but they say one member per family should leave at a time.
So hopefully people just respect that and do that.
She recommends not going to the big grocery stores because by going there, you're pretty much asking for Corona, right?
Now.
And the big grocery stores are the ones that sell out first.
You go to the hood spots right now.
Boom.
They're fully stocked.
Boom.
Fully stocked.
That's exactly what she said.
She's like, yo, go to the corner stores, go to the bodegas, etc.
You're not going for the finest cuisine you've ever had.
You're going to get the essentials.
You're going to get some fucking cereal, some chicken, you know, some beef, etc.
So if you've got a corner store or like a, you know, those shits that are like, they're not a supermarket, but they're not a bodega.
Like Keyfood.
Keyfood's a grocery store.
I'm talking about the Asian shits.
They're like elevated from a bodega, but they're not a grocery store.
They're not a Whole Foods.
Anyway, if you go in there, there's probably going to be less people.
What she said that was going on in Italy was there's a bouncer at the grocery store.
Worker?
Yeah, it's like a nightclub.
And they're like, there's too many people in there.
We got to wait for some people to leave.
Like, they literally say all the same thing.
And then the line outside, everybody has to have like a meter of space in between each other.
So that doesn't.
I don't know what a meter is, but you have to figure that out.
Does this bouncer discriminate on people dressing?
Basically how they dress.
Tim's no Yankee fitteds inside the club.
That'd be mad, funny.
Bitches just show up, go right to the front of the line.
Hey, Derek.
Kissing him on the cheek.
You're like, yo, come on.
All the fat bitches still waiting to get in.
Yo, dress up nicely if you can cut the line at the motherfucking Trader Joe's.
You just walk up like, yeah, I know Joe.
You know, my boy's in there.
He actually, he got a table.
We pop a bottle.
Yeah, he got some bottles in there.
We got that two buck chuck.
We got the two buck chuck that Charles Schwabs.
My boy got a whole case in there.
So yeah, so it's like, basically you got that.
Locally grocery stores, the little bodega type sheds are probably better.
She's like, yo, the fruit and veggies probably run out in the morning.
Okay?
There's not going to be a situation where you can't get food.
It's going to be the same types of deliveries that are coming in, right?
The food's going to be here.
Everybody's freaking out about this food thing.
There's going to be food.
You don't have to worry about it.
But people are going to be so paranoid, right?
That they're going to run to the supermarket first and try to get all the shit.
And keep in mind, it's shifting from in New York, where a lot of us eat out.
I would say 50% of us eat out every meal, something crazy like that.
So now all those 50% are going to be at the supermarket.
So think about that.
They probably don't have enough space to have double the amount of people buying stuff every single day.
That's not to freak you out.
There's always going to be food there.
But if you do get there early, you want to get some salad, veggies, that kind of stuff, get there early.
If not, don't even bother going early because that's when everybody's going to be there.
You go during lunch and you should be Gucci.
Another thing while we living like kings out here in this quarantine, distraction.
What we doing?
What we watching?
What we creating.
I already had mad people hit me up after yesterday's app just saying like, yo, I just started this website or I just started a podcast.
Living Like Kings In Quarantine00:09:41
I made my YouTube channel.
Like, this is a great once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fucking create.
If you have any creative bone in your body, flex that shit right now.
You have time, and that's all it takes.
I was right about Isaac Newton, by the way, developing algebra during the lockdown.
I still don't think it was algebra.
That was one of the fucking theories that you use, but it's not algebra.
I think it was TikTok.
Isaac Newton made TikTok.
Oh, he did.
That was him, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
100%.
He also liked little kids.
That's what he did.
It's gravity, right?
Does it affect the young titties?
This is so fan.
Why do we have to go there?
We're just trying to inform the people.
You know what I'm saying?
We're just trying to give them a nice little, I don't know, quarantine getaway.
That's all this is.
What should we watch?
What are you watching?
So I started Game of Thrones with my shorty.
Whoa.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
That's.
You like Game of Thrones?
Yeah.
Have you seen it?
I love Game of Thrones.
Now, can I be honest with you right now?
All right.
You know who's a fucking Joe Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoint?
Okay.
Which.
Who?
Legolas, bro.
Legolas.
Which one is that?
That's the bow and arrow.
Who the fuck got a bow in there?
Orlando Bloom, son.
Are you talking about a dude, son?
Yeah.
What?
God, son, that's my dude.
Legolas, bro, with the bow and arrow.
Cupid, hit me.
You talk about Lord of the Rings, asshole.
You said Game of Thrones.
That's what I said?
Yeah.
I'm like, the same shit, bro.
And wearing fucking moccasins and like button-down shirts.
And they got like, this motherfucker got a ring in a pocket.
He got his ring in a pocket with no Velcro zipper.
Do you realize how crazy Frodo was, son?
Most powerful ring ever is in a regular handkerchief pocket.
No zipper, no Velcro.
And then just, and then he rocked it on a regular Cupid list.
It looked like you're changing.
Sony got it on my look.
You think I'm going to put the most valuable rig in the world on this floss?
I got my shit on floss, son.
I got some salads stuck in my tooth.
I'm picking it out with this necklace.
Lord of the Rings.
That's a good one because that's a commitment.
That's a commitment.
Three hours, three movies.
Son, yeah, that's a good one.
Let's go.
That's a good one.
Okay.
Also, you got to stop it every five minutes to explain that shit to your fucking girlfriend who can't just rationalize that Gandalf and Dumbledore is the same fucking guy.
And I understand.
I understand.
She calling this motherfucker Dumbledore.
I'm like, this is no stop.
This respected Dumbledore and Gandalf.
It's different.
Even though they wear the same goddamn outfit, they got the same goddamn cane.
They got the same goddamn powers.
Okay?
You realize how little creativity Hollywood got with their fucking casting, bro?
Type cast this motherfucker.
How you get type casting?
The same thing with Ned Stark.
Ned Stark is in Lord of the Rings.
Yeah?
Yes.
And he's the first one to die.
Oh, shit.
I ain't know that.
Son.
Because this is before he was popping.
Before he was popping, looking young.
Crispy.
Cute.
Not as cute as my man fucking Orlando, though.
Legolas, bro.
I had her running that back.
Yo, Legolas.
Oh, my God.
The hair, the look, the gaze.
He'd be hitting you like that.
And the aim with the arrow hit me.
Hey, hey, hey, bend that bow.
So what are you Googling?
Legolas.
Yeah, look at that motherfucking pretty motherfucker right there.
Look at him.
Come on.
Elves ain't men, bro.
Elves ain't men or women.
Elves are elves.
Okay.
That's an elf.
An elf is not a man or a woman.
That's an elf.
Look at this one.
It's got the contour going.
That's it, bro.
He's a little bad.
Tell me that's not an elf.
You're a little baddie.
You're a little baddie.
Like, if you're like, yo, I fucked last night.
You were like, yo, what she looked like?
You'd be like, nah, nah, that's an elf.
Son.
That's it.
He looked just like the elf we saw at the airport.
You remember the lady of a certain religion with the pointy ears and the wig?
So she looked just like us.
Oh, the Hasidic Jewish one?
Yeah.
Yeah, she got her elf-like quality.
She got elf-like quality.
They're both wearing wigs.
That's facts.
But also, look at my ears.
My ears are elven.
I have elfish ears.
If you look at my ears.
Not pointy.
I got two points on my ears.
Nah, you can't see my points.
That shit look like a pipel pop.
I should take that shit out.
We got to go to Dr. Pipple Popper and get my ears right.
Because we got to take the elf out.
Hey, Dr. Pipple Popper, holler does help us get the elf out my ears, all right?
But no, I'm fucking with that Lord of the Rings, dog.
I'm on the I Told You.
Damn, something fall.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Snowfall.
Snowfall.
FX show, watching on who.
That shit is fire.
Yeah.
You're learning how you became a crack dealer.
Yep, basically.
Because that's how it started.
You ended up becoming a crack dealer because of the crazy thing.
I never sold crack.
Stop it.
You never sold crack?
No, not crack.
What'd you sell?
Just weed.
That's it?
Yeah, I hung the people who sold different things.
I thought you were hard, bro.
Nah, son.
Should fall rock do not sewn around.
Son, that shit is scary.
What?
Crack?
Yeah, and dealing with crackheads.
Those crackheads are fucking scary, son.
Son, weed heads way scarier.
Weed heads will kiss you.
They chill.
They scary now in this time.
Yeah.
I'm more scared of a weed head than I am a crackhead.
No.
Because crackhead will stop doing anything that you want them to stop doing as long as you give them some crack.
Yeah, but you have to give them crack if they don't got money.
And then you come up short to your dealer.
And then now you got it.
I'd rather deal with my dealer than this crackhead.
Come on, son.
Come on.
Come on.
Anyway, look, go watch some shit, man.
Go work out.
Create some dope shit.
Use this time accordingly.
I think the next couple of weeks we're going to be locked down.
I think it'll be fun.
And I think there's going to be a lot of great podcasts out there.
There's going to be a lot of great content out there.
I know we're going to be cooking some shit up.
You know, some of the people in the crew taking their sweet fucking time to get back to New York.
Mark.
Mark's bitch ass went to fucking Orlando.
Must be nice.
Must be nice, huh?
I bet he comes back with a wand.
Wait, what?
A wand.
Because Disney World hasn't closed.
Disney World didn't close.
Disneyland closed.
Oh, shit.
If that motherfucker went to the Harry Potter without us, we fired.
Yo, my girl was so happy that we canceled the Orlando shows.
Why?
So that we didn't go to Harry Potter without her.
Oh, Hayden.
Yo, my girl, before quarantine, Corona was killing everybody.
She goes, Andrew, for your safety, she goes, I don't want you going to Harry Potter.
I was like, yeah, but babe, I'm going to be in a room with 400 people.
They're like way closer to me.
She goes, it's about your safety.
I was like, babe, what if you come down with me that weekend?
Can we go?
She's like, I'll protect you.
I'll protect you if we go to Harry Potter to go.
I was a little tight.
We missed out on that.
We'll get back down there.
Orlando, we're going to get back down there.
But in the meantime, we're going to stay away from these groups and we're going to quarantine.
We're going to get shit together.
And before we get out of here, I want to give you guys some financial advice that I heard.
Now, I want to preface this by saying I am completely financially illiterate.
I just hoard money like fucking Scrooge McDuck or whatever it is.
I don't know how to make that money and make money.
That being said, I'm sure you and everybody else in this world has heard: hey, this is the time.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make money on the stock market.
Okay.
The people in the finance world are licking their chops right now.
Those who still have chops are lick.
A lot of them lost everything.
But they're licking their chops because when the market takes a dip like this, it can only go back up.
So you can get in for pennies on the dollar, right?
Especially now because money's super cheap.
I think the Fed just dropped the interest rate to like zero or something crazy, put $700 billion back into the market.
Basically, what's going on is you have to find the low point in the market and then put some money in there.
Now, again, don't take my advice about this kind of stuff.
Do your own research when it comes to finances because that's real stuff.
Okay.
I don't want you going broke off of some shit I said.
But I asked my boy, I was like, yo, when should I get in?
If I was to invest, when should I get in?
He goes, well, you want to try to get in when it's lowest.
I'm like, well, when would that be?
What is a good indicator for Lois?
And he goes, let me talk to some of my friends.
Then he hits me up the next day.
He goes, if they shut down JFK, put all your money in.
Because that's going to be as low as it gets.
If they shut down JFK, put your money in.
Now, that doesn't mean it won't go down further, but it's not going to go down that much further.
JFK has, I think, the most international flights of any airport in the world, right?
That's going to be true economic casualty right there if they shut down JFK.
So that's when we're going to get in.
Put a thousand bucks in when they do it.
See what happens.
You never know.
You put a thousand in, your shit quadruples.
Hey, you live in large.
You know what I mean?
You can buy that full-size cut out of Legolas.
Put it in your room.
You know what I mean?
Stroke that bow.
Did he have a body on him?
Son, it's not up to that part yet.
Oh, he's still closed.
He got that like baggy over shirt they wear, you know.
Because he has a love seat.
Say what?
He has a love seat.
Does he stroke something?
Yeah, he strokes something.
Are you sure?
Hopeful Economic Casualty00:01:11
Yeah, yeah.
Are you thinking the pirates of the Caribbean?
No, I think he has a love seat.
Either him or the guy who's like going to be.
Oh, I don't want to ruin it.
I don't want this.
Spoilers.
What's up?
To me, every scene he's in is a love scene.
Hey, hey, bro.
Hey, bruh.
Come on, bro.
Come on now, bro.
On that note.
Any more words to the people?
Just, guys, stop being stupid.
Stop being selfish.
So what?
If you're young, you could recover from it.
Stay inside.
It's not even worth it.
It's not worth it.
Stay inside.
Stay inside, man.
And, yeah, man, hopefully these things are helpful to you guys.
And if not, for some real information, but also just some distractions, some structure, you know, in these kind of weird times, I think anxiety is quite normal.
So it's cool to be able to connect with y'all like this.
And I really hope that it's helpful, man.
And, you know, we'll do them as long as it's something you guys find value in.