Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Coronavirus Quarantine Like A King
Aired: 2020-03-15
Duration: 32:43


=== Hysterically Pathetic Handling (02:38) ===

[00:00:00]  What up, friends, enemies, and everyone in between?
[00:00:04]  It's your boy Sheltie here.
[00:00:05]  Alex Media is also in the building.
[00:00:07]  What up, Al?
[00:00:08]  I am in the building.
[00:00:09]  Oh, there's no urban?
[00:00:16]  They tried to come for your urban, bro.
[00:00:18]  I saw that.
[00:00:19]  They tried to come for your urban.
[00:00:20]  Anyway, we're back with another episode of whatever this is.
[00:00:25]  We don't know what this is.
[00:00:25]  We're just trying to guide you guys through this whole corona pandemic experience.
[00:00:30]  Obviously, it's fucked up and affecting everybody differently and affecting everybody at different paces.
[00:00:37]  That's something we've definitely learned from this.
[00:00:40]  You guys listening or watching at home, have you ever seen Dr. Pimple Popper?
[00:00:44]  Do you know what that is?
[00:00:45]  It's this Asian woman who like pops these like massive abscesses that just grow on people, right?
[00:00:51]  And she's got a TV show on TLC about it.
[00:00:54]  She started on Twitter.
[00:00:55]  And I remember I used to watch her on Twitter because don't touch your face.
[00:01:00]  Take a shot every time I touch my face.
[00:01:03]  You will be destroyed within the first three minutes of this video.
[00:01:07]  But yeah, I used to watch her on Twitter, and these people would come in and they would have a fucking grapefruit hanging off their eyebrow.
[00:01:13]  Okay?
[00:01:14]  A massive abscess.
[00:01:17]  What is it called, Al?
[00:01:18]  What's another name for it?
[00:01:20]  It's not even a pimple.
[00:01:23]  Growth, whatever the fuck it was.
[00:01:25]  And she would cut them off their face, and it was this like interesting experience.
[00:01:30]  It was kind of cathartic as she would pop these big blisters, whatever they were, growths, et cetera.
[00:01:37]  But I always remember thinking, I'm like, how the fuck could you wait this long?
[00:01:42]  How could you walk around and act like a normal person when you have a fucking ostrich egg hanging off of your forehead?
[00:01:52]  Right?
[00:01:52]  I couldn't fathom that somebody could do that.
[00:01:57]  Now I get it.
[00:01:58]  When I see America's response to the coronavirus, I get it now.
[00:02:04]  We are the people that go to Dr. Pimple Popper, and we don't have a fucking Pimple Popper.
[00:02:09]  We literally need somebody to squeeze that football growth off of our face.
[00:02:15]  Because the way that we're handling this, it's kind of like hysterically pathetic.
[00:02:21]  Like, it's really just a country kind of run by idiots.
[00:02:25]  I know people say this all the time, and I never really thought it, right?
[00:02:28]  Because I think you see politicians in like nice suits.
[00:02:31]  So when you see someone in a nice suit, you think they're smarter than they are, maybe.
[00:02:34]  But I was watching Governor Cuomo today, who's trying to do the right thing.

=== Country Run By Idiots (15:08) ===

[00:02:38]  Don't get me wrong.
[00:02:38]  He's trying to do the right thing.
[00:02:40]  And I think he's trying to run for president in 2024, but it doesn't matter.
[00:02:43]  Everybody got their little own agenda here.
[00:02:46]  But he was on TV.
[00:02:48]  He was saying what we need.
[00:02:49]  And he was, you know, I want, they were talking about shutting down the schools.
[00:02:54]  He goes, I don't want to shut down the schools unless we get daycare centers open.
[00:03:00]  Okay.
[00:03:00]  These kids need to go somewhere.
[00:03:05]  Cuomo.
[00:03:06]  If you're afraid of the kids getting coronavirus at the school, what the fuck do you think the difference is at the daycare center?
[00:03:18]  Is there something special about the daycare center?
[00:03:21]  Is there some coronavirus field going on at these daycare centers?
[00:03:24]  Well, maybe we should just teach school at the fucking daycare center.
[00:03:29]  How on earth is that going to help anyone?
[00:03:32]  Now, I understand why they don't want to shut down the schools because I think we spoke about this last episode, right?
[00:03:37]  Yeah, well, some people have to work.
[00:03:38]  And so.
[00:03:39]  All these healthcare providers, right?
[00:03:41]  All the nurses, all the doctors, all of them have kids, right?
[00:03:43]  So when they get to send their kid to school, they don't have to pay for a babysitter, this, that, the other.
[00:03:49]  But a daycare center is not going to be the thing that makes it work.
[00:03:52]  I mean, you just see this like time and time again.
[00:03:54]  These people making these absolutely stupid decisions.
[00:03:56]  Dude, it was St. Patty's Day, like today, I think.
[00:04:00]  Yeah.
[00:04:01]  St. Patty's Day today.
[00:04:02]  Happy St. Patty's Day.
[00:04:03]  Well, celebrating it, but it's whatever.
[00:04:04]  They do the whole parade thing, right?
[00:04:06]  So you had Americans going to St. Patrick's Day parade all over America.
[00:04:12]  White people.
[00:04:12]  It's always been a white holiday.
[00:04:14]  You know what I mean?
[00:04:15]  But not a lot of black Irishmen.
[00:04:19]  I used to celebrate, though.
[00:04:20]  You did?
[00:04:20]  You'd be the one black guy?
[00:04:21]  Yeah, just because it's the day before my birthday as like a pre-celebration.
[00:04:24]  Ah, wish happy birthday to Alex if you're still alive.
[00:04:28]  So they're celebrating St. Patrick's Day, right?
[00:04:31]  You see this happening all over the country.
[00:04:34]  Dude, there was a buddy who listens to the podcast.
[00:04:36]  He said he was doing pub crawls in Chicago for St. Patty's Day, right?
[00:04:42]  Ireland closed down all their pubs today.
[00:04:47]  Guys, what are we doing?
[00:04:50]  Ireland closed down their pubs.
[00:04:52]  You can take a St. Patty's Day off if Ireland is taking one off.
[00:04:58]  Okay?
[00:05:01]  I just don't get it.
[00:05:02]  I don't understand why people are so just reluctant to accept that this is a real thing.
[00:05:08]  Do you understand what it comes from?
[00:05:10]  Yeah.
[00:05:10]  No, I don't know where it comes from, but it needs to hit us to be real.
[00:05:16]  Dude, somebody says he needs to die.
[00:05:18]  And we thought, and I honestly, I don't believe that Tom Hanks and his wife have it.
[00:05:23]  And I'm not trying to be conspiratorial about it.
[00:05:25]  I truly don't think they have it.
[00:05:26]  I think that it was basically some people in power who are like, okay, who does everybody know?
[00:05:31]  We need to get people to take this seriously.
[00:05:33]  Everybody knows Tom Hanks.
[00:05:35]  Hey, you're quarantined.
[00:05:37]  And also, if you guys aren't sending Tom Hanks volleyballs, you're assholes.
[00:05:40]  Okay.
[00:05:42]  That is the best gift for Tom Hanks.
[00:05:44]  The second he's like, yeah, me and my wife are quarantined.
[00:05:47]  If you don't give him a Wilson, he will throw his wife right out the window.
[00:05:51]  The second he gets that volleyball.
[00:05:53]  I photoshopped the picture of his wife's face on the volleyball because her name is Rita Wilson.
[00:06:00]  He's always had a Wilson.
[00:06:02]  Oh, you cornball Tom Hanks.
[00:06:04]  We're on to you.
[00:06:05]  We're on to you.
[00:06:05]  Dude, this guy got stranded on an island right now.
[00:06:08]  That's right.
[00:06:10]  This is his dream.
[00:06:12]  What is it called?
[00:06:12]  Shipwreck.
[00:06:13]  What was the movie?
[00:06:14]  Castaway.
[00:06:14]  Castaway 2.
[00:06:16]  Him and his real Wilson.
[00:06:17]  Wow.
[00:06:17]  You think she talks as much as the volleyball?
[00:06:24]  Anyway, okay, where were we?
[00:06:26]  So.
[00:06:27]  All the plays that are locked down.
[00:06:29]  Say again.
[00:06:30]  I think you're talking.
[00:06:31]  Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:32]  So basically, what's happening globally?
[00:06:35]  Let's go back to the world.
[00:06:37]  What's happening in the world, real quick.
[00:06:38]  And then I want to get to what's going to happen in the United States because we said it's going towards quarantine.
[00:06:42]  You already see that happening.
[00:06:44]  And I want you guys to be prepared to live like kings during the quarantine because you can king out of quarantine.
[00:06:52]  I've spoken to some people in countries that are currently quarantined, and they told me the do's and don'ts about the quarantine.
[00:06:59]  So I'm going to have y'all ready to go.
[00:07:02]  But first of all, what's happening?
[00:07:03]  Countries on full lockdown.
[00:07:05]  Italy, Spain, France.
[00:07:07]  Okay.
[00:07:09]  Basically, all these countries.
[00:07:11]  And it's so funny to hear them talk about.
[00:07:13]  They're like, I don't know why it happened to us.
[00:07:15]  I don't know.
[00:07:16]  I can't understand why the coronavirus comes.
[00:07:18]  It comes to us.
[00:07:19]  I don't know.
[00:07:20]  I talked to you later.
[00:07:21]  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm.
[00:07:23]  And then you kiss the fucking UPS driver 16 times for delivering a package.
[00:07:28]  This is why it affects you.
[00:07:29]  This is why it's going to everybody.
[00:07:31]  It's not even.
[00:07:32]  It's like the more affectionate of the country, of course, the more they're going to get Corona.
[00:07:36]  Yeah, that's what I said.
[00:07:37]  Italy's a touchy people.
[00:07:39]  That's it.
[00:07:40]  Non-stop.
[00:07:40]  Kissy-touchy.
[00:07:41]  And even the guys hitting on the girls is like they still do the whole ground.
[00:07:45]  Touching your arm.
[00:07:46]  It's just constant corona.
[00:07:48]  You walk down the streets of Italy, you're going to get Corona.
[00:07:51]  Same with France.
[00:07:52]  Same with, I think Portugal's fucked up.
[00:07:54]  Spain as well.
[00:07:56]  They're locked down.
[00:07:57]  Germany is closing borders except for like deliveries and that kind of shit.
[00:08:01]  Oh, we're.
[00:08:02]  Yeah, it's going down.
[00:08:03]  It's really interesting because all it took was like one tragedy for like the Brexit people to get what they wanted.
[00:08:11]  Like, you know how Brexit people are out there, like, yeah, we need to have our own countries and shut down borders and everybody needs to have their own independence.
[00:08:17]  And then Germany is like, no, we have one country.
[00:08:19]  We are Europe all together.
[00:08:21]  And then a couple costs and sniffles come around.
[00:08:23]  It's like, well, maybe we close the borders for a little bit.
[00:08:26]  Maybe it have a little separation.
[00:08:28]  So that's Germany going back on their shit.
[00:08:33]  And oh, I heard some interesting moves about Russia.
[00:08:35]  I don't know how truthful this is, but like you're starting to see people use Corona for their own personal interests.
[00:08:42]  Like countries use Corona for their own personal interests.
[00:08:44]  Okay.
[00:08:45]  In what way?
[00:08:47]  So Russia apparently has a big vote coming up, right?
[00:08:50]  I think April 22nd.
[00:08:52]  The vote is for Vladimir Putin to maintain power so we can have like another 12 years, right?
[00:08:57]  So obviously people are going to want to come together, riot, and protest, right?
[00:09:02]  But what did they say because of Corona?
[00:09:05]  No public gatherings.
[00:09:06]  Nyet, nyet, net.
[00:09:08]  Don't come and hang out, especially not in public areas because you could get corona.
[00:09:12]  Wow.
[00:09:13]  Smart, right?
[00:09:14]  Wow.
[00:09:14]  They know what the fuck they're doing out there.
[00:09:16]  And then the craziest situation of all is how Britain is handling Corona.
[00:09:21]  Have you guys read up at all about how Britain is handling Corona?
[00:09:25]  They just say this is almost comical.
[00:09:30]  They're just saying, nah, fuck it.
[00:09:35]  That's their reaction.
[00:09:36]  They're like, we're all going to get it, so what?
[00:09:38]  Right?
[00:09:39]  And they're just going to go for that herd mentality thing we were talking about.
[00:09:43]  So basically, if 60% of the population ends up getting it, then it becomes very hard to pass on.
[00:09:49]  So they're basically like, old people, stay inside, and then everybody else keep doing what you're doing.
[00:09:53]  And then if everybody gets it, everybody gets it.
[00:09:55]  Wow.
[00:09:55]  So they're accepting that people will die.
[00:09:58]  They're accepting that that will happen.
[00:10:00]  And I think low-key, they're just like trying to get pensioners out of there because you know, have this like amazing pension program.
[00:10:05]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:05]  And they can't probably support it.
[00:10:07]  So they're like, okay, let's just knock off all the old people.
[00:10:09]  Now we don't have to pay their pensions.
[00:10:11]  Economy is going to be booming after this.
[00:10:12]  And we come out ahead.
[00:10:13]  Everybody else is trying to save their old people.
[00:10:15]  We're going to come out young, hot, Golden State Warriors.
[00:10:20]  Whoa.
[00:10:21]  Yeah.
[00:10:22]  Lots of rookies.
[00:10:23]  That's some diabolical shit.
[00:10:25]  Real talk.
[00:10:26]  They fucking tanked for the first pick.
[00:10:29]  Britain is tanking for the number one draft pick, and they might get it low-key.
[00:10:34]  Fucking restructuring the team.
[00:10:35]  They really are, dude.
[00:10:36]  All the old British people that live to like 100 years old, they got those like moles on their face.
[00:10:40]  Where's Dr. Pimple Popper when you need him?
[00:10:42]  But they're going to be dead.
[00:10:44]  And then young Britain, it's going to be all Anthony Joshua's.
[00:10:47]  Just right-wing Britain's like worst nightmare.
[00:10:50]  Shout out to that, what's his name?
[00:10:52]  Boris, that motherfucker?
[00:10:54]  I don't know who that is.
[00:10:55]  Yo, Boris and Bernie Sanders got the same comb.
[00:10:59]  Who's Boris?
[00:11:00]  Boris Johnson, the prime minister of England.
[00:11:02]  Oh.
[00:11:03]  Of Great Britain.
[00:11:04]  And both of them, there's a great meme, but it's a both of them look like they comb their hair with a balloon.
[00:11:09]  Okay, I remember that.
[00:11:10]  Okay, so where else are we at?
[00:11:13]  What about us here?
[00:11:13]  What do we do?
[00:11:14]  So what do we do?
[00:11:15]  What do we do?
[00:11:18]  This is what's going to happen.
[00:11:19]  Okay.
[00:11:20]  Right now, you see America's like going towards quarantine, right?
[00:11:23]  We're doing this cute little shit right now where we're saying no more bars and restaurants.
[00:11:27]  But they're basically trying to like remove all public gathering places.
[00:11:30]  You've seen this happen, right?
[00:11:32]  So like California is shutting down bars and restaurants.
[00:11:34]  I think they're shutting down all bars and the restaurants after a certain hour, right?
[00:11:38]  They've made all places reduce capacity to like 50%, right?
[00:11:43]  So now like half capacity, I guess, makes it less, you know, catchable corona because of the social distancing thing or something.
[00:11:52]  It's fucking retarded.
[00:11:54]  It's retarded.
[00:11:54]  I don't know what it is.
[00:11:56]  Point being is if you're a loser with no friends, you can just say you're social distancing.
[00:12:00]  I think that's the way to hustle this shit.
[00:12:02]  All you GameStop nerds, go out.
[00:12:04]  Now's your time to shine.
[00:12:06]  Is it just you for the reservation?
[00:12:08]  Yeah, I would.
[00:12:09]  I would have come with my friends, but I'm social distancing.
[00:12:14]  These incels are about to be cooler.
[00:12:16]  Incels are trendsetters, bro.
[00:12:19]  Incels at home playing Call of Duty.
[00:12:21]  Like, yo, I've been social distancing for a minute.
[00:12:24]  All my friends live in Zimbabwe.
[00:12:27]  Actually, I don't know if you got Call of Duty in Zimbabwe.
[00:12:30]  Anyway, point is: yes, all these plays, Illinois shut down bars and restaurants.
[00:12:35]  Hoboken has a fucking curfew.
[00:12:37]  Puerto Rico has a curfew.
[00:12:38]  That being said, I think they've had a curfew since that hurricane.
[00:12:40]  I don't think they have electricity.
[00:12:42]  Sorry, Alex.
[00:12:42]  I know that's your people.
[00:12:44]  I know.
[00:12:44]  But their curfew is nightfall.
[00:12:47]  La Noche is their curfew.
[00:12:49]  Oh, man.
[00:12:53]  So, so, yeah, so now we're going towards like, it's like a pseudo-quarantine.
[00:12:58]  This isn't going to work.
[00:12:59]  And then they're just going to go, all right, everybody, fuck it, stay inside.
[00:13:02]  That's basically how this is going to happen, I promise you.
[00:13:04]  But I think they don't want to tell everybody to go inside because I think they don't want to like completely shut down the economy.
[00:13:11]  I think if they just go, everybody has to stay inside, then we all go, oh, it's a wrap.
[00:13:16]  But as long as business can like pretend to be operating, then I think everything is going to be okay.
[00:13:23]  Then I think they believe it's going to be okay.
[00:13:26]  But it's eventually going to go to quarantine.
[00:13:28]  Everybody's going to be in for at least two weeks, maybe a month, right?
[00:13:31]  Because that's literally what every other country is doing.
[00:13:33]  All we have to do is look at Europe.
[00:13:35]  They're ahead of us.
[00:13:36]  It's the same disease.
[00:13:37]  It's the same timeline.
[00:13:38]  We look at Europe and then go, okay, that's going to be us.
[00:13:42]  All right.
[00:13:42]  We're going to be quarantined.
[00:13:44]  Now, before you get upset, before you get bummed, remember, you're not listening to one of those fear-mongering podcasts or shows.
[00:13:52]  You're listening to Andrew Schultz and Alex Media, okay?
[00:13:55]  So we're going to find some positivo in this shit.
[00:13:59]  How do you live like a king during your quarantine?
[00:14:04]  What do you do?
[00:14:08]  I know the question everybody has is: what are the necessities?
[00:14:11]  What should I get?
[00:14:12]  Fuck the necessities.
[00:14:14]  Get the luxuries.
[00:14:16]  I know that sounds crazy, but just hear me out on it.
[00:14:20]  All the grocery stores are going to be open.
[00:14:23]  All the pharmacies are going to be open.
[00:14:25]  Okay?
[00:14:26]  You know who's not going to be open?
[00:14:28]  Kiels.
[00:14:30]  All right?
[00:14:31]  You can go to the grocery store and get your Lucerin or whatever, like regular lotion.
[00:14:36]  Or before everything gets shut down, you go to your fancy stores and get the shit that you like.
[00:14:42]  Stock up on that for a month.
[00:14:44]  So you get the soaps you like, right?
[00:14:46]  You get the lotion.
[00:14:47]  You like the shampoo.
[00:14:48]  You get all the things that you want to be specific with in your life.
[00:14:52]  Face wash.
[00:14:52]  You know, girls have 15 different face washes and hairspray and all that kind of shit.
[00:14:56]  Right?
[00:14:57]  They take up the whole thing.
[00:14:58]  And we're supposedly bad for the environment.
[00:15:00]  Every one of these girls is environmental disaster walking around.
[00:15:04]  What?
[00:15:04]  Your girl's got all her shit at your place?
[00:15:06]  No, I'm just saying when girls come over, they leave a lot of stuff.
[00:15:10]  Let's just say that.
[00:15:11]  Your girls are bringing shampoo, duck?
[00:15:13]  Snacks?
[00:15:14]  Yer.
[00:15:16]  That's you in the bathroom.
[00:15:17]  Like, you're get your stuff out of my bathroom.
[00:15:24]  So, uh, get your ass home.
[00:15:32]  Where's your bathtub?
[00:15:34]  That shit is looking spicy and span right now.
[00:15:37]  It's about to be my shit.
[00:15:40]  So.
[00:15:41]  I like that, though.
[00:15:41]  Get luxuries.
[00:15:42]  I like that.
[00:15:43]  No bullshit.
[00:15:43]  Because if you're going to be locked down, you got to be locked down, living good, right?
[00:15:46]  So here's a couple things.
[00:15:47]  Make sure you get the luxuries, right?
[00:15:50]  Another thing that's very important, because I'm talking to my buddies, I'm talking to people in Italy and people in parts of Canada that are locked down, right?
[00:15:56]  Because they were like in contact with the people that had the virus.
[00:16:00]  And they're like, bro, get things that you normally don't consume in your house.
[00:16:07]  That's the number one thing everybody forgets, right?
[00:16:09]  For example, I don't ever drink coffee in my house.
[00:16:11]  I don't have a coffee machine.
[00:16:13]  So the second you get quarantined, that's no more coffee for you.
[00:16:16]  Right?
[00:16:17]  So what you got to do is make sure that you got a coffee maker or you get yourself a little coffee maker and the coffee you like because you're going to want to wake up and have that morning coffee.
[00:16:26]  I don't have sweets in my house ever.
[00:16:27]  I don't have candy.
[00:16:28]  I don't have chocolate.
[00:16:28]  I don't have none of that shit.
[00:16:31]  But if I'm out, I might want a little something sweet, a little dessert.
[00:16:35]  Boom.
[00:16:35]  You get it.
[00:16:37]  Get all those things.
[00:16:38]  A snapple.
[00:16:40]  San Pellegrino.
[00:16:41]  You know those are like little sodas.
[00:16:42]  They're like grapefruit flavored, pomegranate flavored, all that kind of shit.
[00:16:45]  Get some of those.
[00:16:46]  Get the shit that you would never have in your home.
[00:16:48]  You'd never buy it for groceries.
[00:16:50]  You'd never do any of that kind of stuff, but you enjoy because you're going to want those indulgences for the next like couple weeks or month.
[00:16:58]  Obviously, call the weed plug or hit up the weed spot, right?
[00:17:02]  Because Cali, all these other places, they got the legal weed, so go, but they're shutting that down immediately.
[00:17:06]  Remember, it's only going to be grocery stores, pharmacies open.
[00:17:09]  That's it, okay?
[00:17:12]  What else was there?
[00:17:15]  I think.
[00:17:17]  Oh, yeah, just those luxuries.
[00:17:19]  You get those.
[00:17:19]  I think you should be good.
[00:17:22]  Also, gyms are going to be closed.
[00:17:25]  You're going to have to work out.
[00:17:26]  Okay.
[00:17:26]  Because if you don't work out, everything your girlfriend or boyfriend says is going to drive you fucking crazy.
[00:17:31]  I know how that is immediately.
[00:17:33]  Anytime they disagree about anything, it drives you fucking crazy unless I get that shit woos out and calmed down.
[00:17:41]  So I got my boy who works for this NBA team to get like a trainer to give them a hotel workout.

=== Gyms Closed, Work Out (04:02) ===

[00:17:47]  Also, YouTube has tons of these like in-your-home workout or hotel workout, a 30-minute workout.
[00:17:52]  You get that corona cardio in and I think you'll be good.
[00:17:56]  If you buy some weights or even those bands, those bands are kind of lit, right?
[00:18:02]  Because they don't take up any space.
[00:18:03]  You don't have to like be lugging around dumbbells in your apartment, but you can get a pretty good workout.
[00:18:07]  But keep the workouts on.
[00:18:09]  And that's it.
[00:18:10]  I think I have one of those workouts.
[00:18:11]  I'll post on Instagram if you guys want.
[00:18:13]  I'll give it to Al so he'll post on Instagram, et cetera.
[00:18:17]  But yeah, so what's going to happen?
[00:18:19]  How are you going to get groceries, et cetera?
[00:18:20]  I spoke to my friend who's in Italy and she broke down how they get the groceries and everything out there.
[00:18:26]  You can pretty much leave the apartment whenever you want, but they say one member per family should leave at a time.
[00:18:33]  So hopefully people just respect that and do that.
[00:18:36]  She recommends not going to the big grocery stores because by going there, you're pretty much asking for Corona, right?
[00:18:42]  Now.
[00:18:42]  And the big grocery stores are the ones that sell out first.
[00:18:45]  You go to the hood spots right now.
[00:18:47]  Boom.
[00:18:47]  They're fully stocked.
[00:18:48]  Boom.
[00:18:49]  Fully stocked.
[00:18:49]  That's exactly what she said.
[00:18:51]  She's like, yo, go to the corner stores, go to the bodegas, etc.
[00:18:54]  You're not going for the finest cuisine you've ever had.
[00:18:56]  You're going to get the essentials.
[00:18:57]  You're going to get some fucking cereal, some chicken, you know, some beef, etc.
[00:19:02]  So if you've got a corner store or like a, you know, those shits that are like, they're not a supermarket, but they're not a bodega.
[00:19:08]  Like Keyfood.
[00:19:09]  Keyfood's a grocery store.
[00:19:11]  I'm talking about the Asian shits.
[00:19:13]  They're like elevated from a bodega, but they're not a grocery store.
[00:19:20]  They're not a Whole Foods.
[00:19:22]  Anyway, if you go in there, there's probably going to be less people.
[00:19:25]  What she said that was going on in Italy was there's a bouncer at the grocery store.
[00:19:30]  Worker?
[00:19:30]  Yeah, it's like a nightclub.
[00:19:32]  And they're like, there's too many people in there.
[00:19:33]  We got to wait for some people to leave.
[00:19:35]  Like, they literally say all the same thing.
[00:19:36]  And then the line outside, everybody has to have like a meter of space in between each other.
[00:19:43]  So that doesn't.
[00:19:44]  I don't know what a meter is, but you have to figure that out.
[00:19:46]  Does this bouncer discriminate on people dressing?
[00:19:48]  Basically how they dress.
[00:19:49]  Tim's no Yankee fitteds inside the club.
[00:19:53]  That'd be mad, funny.
[00:19:54]  Bitches just show up, go right to the front of the line.
[00:19:56]  Hey, Derek.
[00:20:00]  Kissing him on the cheek.
[00:20:01]  You're like, yo, come on.
[00:20:02]  All the fat bitches still waiting to get in.
[00:20:05]  Yo, dress up nicely if you can cut the line at the motherfucking Trader Joe's.
[00:20:11]  You just walk up like, yeah, I know Joe.
[00:20:13]  You know, my boy's in there.
[00:20:14]  He actually, he got a table.
[00:20:18]  We pop a bottle.
[00:20:18]  Yeah, he got some bottles in there.
[00:20:22]  We got that two buck chuck.
[00:20:23]  We got the two buck chuck that Charles Schwabs.
[00:20:27]  My boy got a whole case in there.
[00:20:29]  So yeah, so it's like, basically you got that.
[00:20:35]  Locally grocery stores, the little bodega type sheds are probably better.
[00:20:39]  She's like, yo, the fruit and veggies probably run out in the morning.
[00:20:43]  Okay?
[00:20:43]  There's not going to be a situation where you can't get food.
[00:20:46]  It's going to be the same types of deliveries that are coming in, right?
[00:20:49]  The food's going to be here.
[00:20:50]  Everybody's freaking out about this food thing.
[00:20:52]  There's going to be food.
[00:20:52]  You don't have to worry about it.
[00:20:54]  But people are going to be so paranoid, right?
[00:20:56]  That they're going to run to the supermarket first and try to get all the shit.
[00:21:00]  And keep in mind, it's shifting from in New York, where a lot of us eat out.
[00:21:06]  I would say 50% of us eat out every meal, something crazy like that.
[00:21:10]  So now all those 50% are going to be at the supermarket.
[00:21:12]  So think about that.
[00:21:14]  They probably don't have enough space to have double the amount of people buying stuff every single day.
[00:21:20]  That's not to freak you out.
[00:21:21]  There's always going to be food there.
[00:21:23]  But if you do get there early, you want to get some salad, veggies, that kind of stuff, get there early.
[00:21:28]  If not, don't even bother going early because that's when everybody's going to be there.
[00:21:31]  You go during lunch and you should be Gucci.
[00:21:34]  Another thing while we living like kings out here in this quarantine, distraction.
[00:21:40]  What we doing?
[00:21:41]  What we watching?
[00:21:42]  What we creating.
[00:21:43]  I already had mad people hit me up after yesterday's app just saying like, yo, I just started this website or I just started a podcast.

=== Living Like Kings In Quarantine (09:41) ===

[00:21:50]  I made my YouTube channel.
[00:21:51]  Like, this is a great once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fucking create.
[00:21:54]  If you have any creative bone in your body, flex that shit right now.
[00:22:00]  You have time, and that's all it takes.
[00:22:02]  I was right about Isaac Newton, by the way, developing algebra during the lockdown.
[00:22:06]  I still don't think it was algebra.
[00:22:07]  That was one of the fucking theories that you use, but it's not algebra.
[00:22:11]  I think it was TikTok.
[00:22:12]  Isaac Newton made TikTok.
[00:22:14]  Oh, he did.
[00:22:15]  That was him, right?
[00:22:16]  Yeah.
[00:22:16]  Yeah, 100%.
[00:22:17]  100%.
[00:22:18]  He also liked little kids.
[00:22:20]  That's what he did.
[00:22:22]  It's gravity, right?
[00:22:23]  Does it affect the young titties?
[00:22:27]  This is so fan.
[00:22:29]  Why do we have to go there?
[00:22:30]  We're just trying to inform the people.
[00:22:32]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:22:33]  We're just trying to give them a nice little, I don't know, quarantine getaway.
[00:22:40]  That's all this is.
[00:22:42]  What should we watch?
[00:22:42]  What are you watching?
[00:22:45]  So I started Game of Thrones with my shorty.
[00:22:48]  Whoa.
[00:22:48]  Yes.
[00:22:49]  Okay.
[00:22:50]  Yes.
[00:22:51]  That's.
[00:22:52]  You like Game of Thrones?
[00:22:53]  Yeah.
[00:22:53]  Have you seen it?
[00:22:54]  I love Game of Thrones.
[00:22:54]  Now, can I be honest with you right now?
[00:22:56]  All right.
[00:22:58]  You know who's a fucking Joe Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoint?
[00:23:01]  Okay.
[00:23:03]  Which.
[00:23:03]  Who?
[00:23:04]  Legolas, bro.
[00:23:06]  Legolas.
[00:23:06]  Which one is that?
[00:23:07]  That's the bow and arrow.
[00:23:10]  Who the fuck got a bow in there?
[00:23:12]  Orlando Bloom, son.
[00:23:14]  Are you talking about a dude, son?
[00:23:16]  Yeah.
[00:23:18]  What?
[00:23:18]  God, son, that's my dude.
[00:23:20]  Legolas, bro, with the bow and arrow.
[00:23:22]  Cupid, hit me.
[00:23:24]  You talk about Lord of the Rings, asshole.
[00:23:26]  You said Game of Thrones.
[00:23:27]  That's what I said?
[00:23:28]  Yeah.
[00:23:28]  I'm like, the same shit, bro.
[00:23:30]  And wearing fucking moccasins and like button-down shirts.
[00:23:33]  And they got like, this motherfucker got a ring in a pocket.
[00:23:38]  He got his ring in a pocket with no Velcro zipper.
[00:23:41]  Do you realize how crazy Frodo was, son?
[00:23:45]  Most powerful ring ever is in a regular handkerchief pocket.
[00:23:50]  No zipper, no Velcro.
[00:23:52]  And then just, and then he rocked it on a regular Cupid list.
[00:23:56]  It looked like you're changing.
[00:23:58]  Sony got it on my look.
[00:23:59]  You think I'm going to put the most valuable rig in the world on this floss?
[00:24:05]  I got my shit on floss, son.
[00:24:08]  I got some salads stuck in my tooth.
[00:24:10]  I'm picking it out with this necklace.
[00:24:12]  Lord of the Rings.
[00:24:13]  That's a good one because that's a commitment.
[00:24:14]  That's a commitment.
[00:24:15]  Three hours, three movies.
[00:24:16]  Son, yeah, that's a good one.
[00:24:17]  Let's go.
[00:24:18]  That's a good one.
[00:24:19]  Okay.
[00:24:19]  Also, you got to stop it every five minutes to explain that shit to your fucking girlfriend who can't just rationalize that Gandalf and Dumbledore is the same fucking guy.
[00:24:29]  And I understand.
[00:24:31]  I understand.
[00:24:33]  She calling this motherfucker Dumbledore.
[00:24:36]  I'm like, this is no stop.
[00:24:37]  This respected Dumbledore and Gandalf.
[00:24:40]  It's different.
[00:24:41]  Even though they wear the same goddamn outfit, they got the same goddamn cane.
[00:24:44]  They got the same goddamn powers.
[00:24:46]  Okay?
[00:24:48]  You realize how little creativity Hollywood got with their fucking casting, bro?
[00:24:54]  Type cast this motherfucker.
[00:24:55]  How you get type casting?
[00:24:56]  The same thing with Ned Stark.
[00:24:58]  Ned Stark is in Lord of the Rings.
[00:25:00]  Yeah?
[00:25:01]  Yes.
[00:25:02]  And he's the first one to die.
[00:25:04]  Oh, shit.
[00:25:05]  I ain't know that.
[00:25:06]  Son.
[00:25:06]  Because this is before he was popping.
[00:25:08]  Before he was popping, looking young.
[00:25:10]  Crispy.
[00:25:11]  Cute.
[00:25:12]  Not as cute as my man fucking Orlando, though.
[00:25:14]  Legolas, bro.
[00:25:15]  I had her running that back.
[00:25:17]  Yo, Legolas.
[00:25:18]  Oh, my God.
[00:25:19]  The hair, the look, the gaze.
[00:25:21]  He'd be hitting you like that.
[00:25:24]  And the aim with the arrow hit me.
[00:25:28]  Hey, hey, hey, bend that bow.
[00:25:33]  So what are you Googling?
[00:25:34]  Legolas.
[00:25:36]  Yeah, look at that motherfucking pretty motherfucker right there.
[00:25:39]  Look at him.
[00:25:40]  Come on.
[00:25:40]  Elves ain't men, bro.
[00:25:42]  Elves ain't men or women.
[00:25:44]  Elves are elves.
[00:25:45]  Okay.
[00:25:46]  That's an elf.
[00:25:47]  An elf is not a man or a woman.
[00:25:48]  That's an elf.
[00:25:49]  Look at this one.
[00:25:49]  It's got the contour going.
[00:25:51]  That's it, bro.
[00:25:52]  He's a little bad.
[00:25:53]  Tell me that's not an elf.
[00:25:54]  You're a little baddie.
[00:25:55]  You're a little baddie.
[00:25:56]  Like, if you're like, yo, I fucked last night.
[00:25:58]  You were like, yo, what she looked like?
[00:25:59]  You'd be like, nah, nah, that's an elf.
[00:26:01]  Son.
[00:26:01]  That's it.
[00:26:02]  He looked just like the elf we saw at the airport.
[00:26:06]  You remember the lady of a certain religion with the pointy ears and the wig?
[00:26:13]  So she looked just like us.
[00:26:14]  Oh, the Hasidic Jewish one?
[00:26:16]  Yeah.
[00:26:16]  Yeah, she got her elf-like quality.
[00:26:18]  She got elf-like quality.
[00:26:19]  They're both wearing wigs.
[00:26:20]  That's facts.
[00:26:20]  But also, look at my ears.
[00:26:22]  My ears are elven.
[00:26:24]  I have elfish ears.
[00:26:26]  If you look at my ears.
[00:26:27]  Not pointy.
[00:26:27]  I got two points on my ears.
[00:26:29]  Nah, you can't see my points.
[00:26:31]  That shit look like a pipel pop.
[00:26:33]  I should take that shit out.
[00:26:35]  We got to go to Dr. Pipple Popper and get my ears right.
[00:26:37]  Because we got to take the elf out.
[00:26:38]  Hey, Dr. Pipple Popper, holler does help us get the elf out my ears, all right?
[00:26:43]  But no, I'm fucking with that Lord of the Rings, dog.
[00:26:46]  I'm on the I Told You.
[00:26:49]  Damn, something fall.
[00:26:51]  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:26:52]  Snowfall.
[00:26:52]  Snowfall.
[00:26:53]  FX show, watching on who.
[00:26:54]  That shit is fire.
[00:26:56]  Yeah.
[00:26:57]  You're learning how you became a crack dealer.
[00:26:59]  Yep, basically.
[00:27:00]  Because that's how it started.
[00:27:01]  You ended up becoming a crack dealer because of the crazy thing.
[00:27:03]  I never sold crack.
[00:27:04]  Stop it.
[00:27:04]  You never sold crack?
[00:27:05]  No, not crack.
[00:27:05]  What'd you sell?
[00:27:06]  Just weed.
[00:27:07]  That's it?
[00:27:07]  Yeah, I hung the people who sold different things.
[00:27:11]  I thought you were hard, bro.
[00:27:13]  Nah, son.
[00:27:13]  Should fall rock do not sewn around.
[00:27:15]  Son, that shit is scary.
[00:27:17]  What?
[00:27:17]  Crack?
[00:27:18]  Yeah, and dealing with crackheads.
[00:27:19]  Those crackheads are fucking scary, son.
[00:27:21]  Son, weed heads way scarier.
[00:27:23]  Weed heads will kiss you.
[00:27:25]  They chill.
[00:27:25]  They scary now in this time.
[00:27:27]  Yeah.
[00:27:28]  I'm more scared of a weed head than I am a crackhead.
[00:27:30]  No.
[00:27:30]  Because crackhead will stop doing anything that you want them to stop doing as long as you give them some crack.
[00:27:36]  Yeah, but you have to give them crack if they don't got money.
[00:27:39]  And then you come up short to your dealer.
[00:27:40]  And then now you got it.
[00:27:42]  I'd rather deal with my dealer than this crackhead.
[00:27:45]  Come on, son.
[00:27:47]  Come on.
[00:27:49]  Come on.
[00:27:50]  Anyway, look, go watch some shit, man.
[00:27:54]  Go work out.
[00:27:55]  Create some dope shit.
[00:27:56]  Use this time accordingly.
[00:27:58]  I think the next couple of weeks we're going to be locked down.
[00:27:59]  I think it'll be fun.
[00:28:00]  And I think there's going to be a lot of great podcasts out there.
[00:28:03]  There's going to be a lot of great content out there.
[00:28:04]  I know we're going to be cooking some shit up.
[00:28:07]  You know, some of the people in the crew taking their sweet fucking time to get back to New York.
[00:28:12]  Mark.
[00:28:13]  Mark's bitch ass went to fucking Orlando.
[00:28:17]  Must be nice.
[00:28:18]  Must be nice, huh?
[00:28:19]  I bet he comes back with a wand.
[00:28:21]  Wait, what?
[00:28:22]  A wand.
[00:28:23]  Because Disney World hasn't closed.
[00:28:24]  Disney World didn't close.
[00:28:25]  Disneyland closed.
[00:28:27]  Oh, shit.
[00:28:27]  If that motherfucker went to the Harry Potter without us, we fired.
[00:28:30]  Yo, my girl was so happy that we canceled the Orlando shows.
[00:28:33]  Why?
[00:28:34]  So that we didn't go to Harry Potter without her.
[00:28:36]  Oh, Hayden.
[00:28:37]  Yo, my girl, before quarantine, Corona was killing everybody.
[00:28:41]  She goes, Andrew, for your safety, she goes, I don't want you going to Harry Potter.
[00:28:47]  I was like, yeah, but babe, I'm going to be in a room with 400 people.
[00:28:50]  They're like way closer to me.
[00:28:51]  She goes, it's about your safety.
[00:28:56]  I was like, babe, what if you come down with me that weekend?
[00:28:58]  Can we go?
[00:28:59]  She's like, I'll protect you.
[00:29:01]  I'll protect you if we go to Harry Potter to go.
[00:29:05]  I was a little tight.
[00:29:06]  We missed out on that.
[00:29:07]  We'll get back down there.
[00:29:08]  Orlando, we're going to get back down there.
[00:29:09]  But in the meantime, we're going to stay away from these groups and we're going to quarantine.
[00:29:12]  We're going to get shit together.
[00:29:13]  And before we get out of here, I want to give you guys some financial advice that I heard.
[00:29:18]  Now, I want to preface this by saying I am completely financially illiterate.
[00:29:21]  I just hoard money like fucking Scrooge McDuck or whatever it is.
[00:29:25]  I don't know how to make that money and make money.
[00:29:26]  That being said, I'm sure you and everybody else in this world has heard: hey, this is the time.
[00:29:32]  It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make money on the stock market.
[00:29:36]  Okay.
[00:29:36]  The people in the finance world are licking their chops right now.
[00:29:39]  Those who still have chops are lick.
[00:29:40]  A lot of them lost everything.
[00:29:42]  But they're licking their chops because when the market takes a dip like this, it can only go back up.
[00:29:48]  So you can get in for pennies on the dollar, right?
[00:29:52]  Especially now because money's super cheap.
[00:29:54]  I think the Fed just dropped the interest rate to like zero or something crazy, put $700 billion back into the market.
[00:30:01]  Basically, what's going on is you have to find the low point in the market and then put some money in there.
[00:30:08]  Now, again, don't take my advice about this kind of stuff.
[00:30:10]  Do your own research when it comes to finances because that's real stuff.
[00:30:14]  Okay.
[00:30:14]  I don't want you going broke off of some shit I said.
[00:30:16]  But I asked my boy, I was like, yo, when should I get in?
[00:30:19]  If I was to invest, when should I get in?
[00:30:22]  He goes, well, you want to try to get in when it's lowest.
[00:30:24]  I'm like, well, when would that be?
[00:30:26]  What is a good indicator for Lois?
[00:30:30]  And he goes, let me talk to some of my friends.
[00:30:33]  Then he hits me up the next day.
[00:30:34]  He goes, if they shut down JFK, put all your money in.
[00:30:39]  Because that's going to be as low as it gets.
[00:30:42]  If they shut down JFK, put your money in.
[00:30:46]  Now, that doesn't mean it won't go down further, but it's not going to go down that much further.
[00:30:51]  JFK has, I think, the most international flights of any airport in the world, right?
[00:30:55]  That's going to be true economic casualty right there if they shut down JFK.
[00:31:01]  So that's when we're going to get in.
[00:31:02]  Put a thousand bucks in when they do it.
[00:31:03]  See what happens.
[00:31:04]  You never know.
[00:31:05]  You put a thousand in, your shit quadruples.
[00:31:07]  Hey, you live in large.
[00:31:09]  You know what I mean?
[00:31:10]  You can buy that full-size cut out of Legolas.
[00:31:12]  Put it in your room.
[00:31:13]  You know what I mean?
[00:31:14]  Stroke that bow.
[00:31:16]  Did he have a body on him?
[00:31:18]  Son, it's not up to that part yet.
[00:31:20]  Oh, he's still closed.
[00:31:22]  He got that like baggy over shirt they wear, you know.
[00:31:25]  Because he has a love seat.
[00:31:26]  Say what?
[00:31:27]  He has a love seat.
[00:31:27]  Does he stroke something?
[00:31:28]  Yeah, he strokes something.
[00:31:29]  Are you sure?

=== Hopeful Economic Casualty (01:11) ===

[00:31:32]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:32]  Are you thinking the pirates of the Caribbean?
[00:31:35]  No, I think he has a love seat.
[00:31:36]  Either him or the guy who's like going to be.
[00:31:39]  Oh, I don't want to ruin it.
[00:31:41]  I don't want this.
[00:31:41]  Spoilers.
[00:31:42]  What's up?
[00:31:44]  To me, every scene he's in is a love scene.
[00:31:48]  Hey, hey, bro.
[00:31:50]  Hey, bruh.
[00:31:50]  Come on, bro.
[00:31:52]  Come on now, bro.
[00:31:53]  On that note.
[00:31:55]  Any more words to the people?
[00:31:57]  Just, guys, stop being stupid.
[00:31:59]  Stop being selfish.
[00:32:00]  So what?
[00:32:01]  If you're young, you could recover from it.
[00:32:03]  Stay inside.
[00:32:04]  It's not even worth it.
[00:32:05]  It's not worth it.
[00:32:06]  Stay inside.
[00:32:07]  Stay inside, man.
[00:32:08]  And, yeah, man, hopefully these things are helpful to you guys.
[00:32:13]  And if not, for some real information, but also just some distractions, some structure, you know, in these kind of weird times, I think anxiety is quite normal.
[00:32:22]  So it's cool to be able to connect with y'all like this.
[00:32:24]  And I really hope that it's helpful, man.
[00:32:27]  And, you know, we'll do them as long as it's something you guys find value in.
[00:32:31]  And yeah, and that's it, man.
[00:32:33]  Maybe one of these days we'll find a name.
[00:32:35]  Who knows?
[00:32:36]  But it's fun coming in here every day.
[00:32:37]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:32:38]  I fucks with it.
[00:32:39]  I like it.
[00:32:40]  I fucks with it.
[00:32:40]  We hope y'all do, man.
[00:32:41]  Holler at us.
[00:32:42]  Be good.
[00:32:43]  Be safe.