Andrew Schulz, Akash Singh, and Eden Rodriguez dissect viral violence, visa stereotypes, and modern Indian weddings, joking about birth control products and elephant rides. The group mocks border wall rhetoric while debating whether to share Epstein jokes, culminating in aggressive banter where Schulz insults Rodriguez's name and appearance before warning social justice warriors against their Patreon. Ultimately, the episode highlights the hosts' unfiltered approach to controversial topics and community boundaries. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Flagrant Analysis00:14:57
What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Assholes Water Cooler Commentary for Your Sports Needs.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh.
We got Alex Media.
We got Eden Rodriguez.
You knew it too.
You're getting a different name every single episode.
I forgot to make that decision.
I did.
But you know what?
I didn't know.
It was either Rodriguez.
It was either Velasquez or Martinez.
Martinez is your real name.
Yes.
Okay.
That's it.
That's all I have to say.
But I'm not bringing you up as a regular one any single time.
That's totally fine.
I just felt like it was a fair.
I know it's fine.
I know it's fine.
I pay you.
I know it's fine.
Okay.
You're lucky you get full name.
Do you know what I mean?
Yo, are you going to start busting guts now that you're engaged?
You act like he has it.
Yeah.
No, but like, is she pulling the goalie?
Oh, no, She's not pulling the goalie?
You're not going to handle the goalies.
No, not yet.
Nah, bro.
What do you mean?
Too early.
After marriage, maybe, but not now.
Is she on birth control?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
What kind of birth control?
Oh, you should remember that.
I don't remember, dude.
I sincerely don't remember.
You don't remember she's on?
I sincerely don't remember.
Is she on Hawkinshislap?
Yo, that's a dope ass, bro.
Y'all seen that birth control?
Hulk and she's love.
Hulk and she's lucky.
Hulk and she's slow.
How can you slap me, son?
Hey, let's watch that video and comment on it right quick.
Can you get that up?
Let's go with the volume, though.
This is so fucking...
How can it slap me?
Yo, pause.
Pause.
What's so funny about this video is she slaps him.
He duffs her right back.
Bang.
And still is upset.
Right?
Like, he doesn't go, how could I have done that?
I'm so sorry.
How could you have made me slap the shit out of you?
Would you have also slapped back?
No, nah, nah.
You can't hit women, bro.
You got really sensitive about that, too.
Come on, Eden.
What's wrong with you, bro?
God, we're not in fucking...
We're in equal times right now.
El Salvador, wherever the fuck you're from, bro.
Hey, Eden, you'll notice I didn't answer your question.
How can she slap?
I see.
I tell you how.
Open the hand like this.
Move your hips a little bit.
Follow through.
Wait, play it back.
Did I move it?
What's he wearing?
Cut that shit.
It's like a three-minute clip.
No, but do they cut out him hitting her?
No, no, no.
Watch it.
Watch it again.
Watch it again.
You can't miss it.
Oh, shit, I missed that.
Wait for it, though.
No, go back.
Go back.
You had to listen to the whole thing.
Go for the beginning.
See, from the beginning, this is good.
This is good.
First, she says something to him.
Yeah.
No, no, but just watch.
Go to the beginning.
You'll be fucking up.
Go to the beginning.
Oh!
Yo!
Yo, it's mad funny when the guy's like...
Did I miss him slappers?
That shit was quick.
Son, son.
She goes, why don't you go and fuck off then?
And then he goes, he goes, he goes, Yugo?
Yugo?
Yo.
In the most Indian way ever.
Yugo.
Yugo?
Stupid ass mark on his face.
Like he said it like he knew he had the best comeback to what she said.
I'm going, fuck off, Daniel.
She's not going to see this coming.
No way, Fuzzy about to see this coming.
Oh, it was so funny.
Bro, and they were swinging on him afterwards.
No, they beat his ass.
Then he starts crying and he's through whimpers, going, How can she slap me, son?
It's so fucking funny.
Yo, shout out to Indians, bro.
Yo, shout out to the Indians, bro.
Y'all really the goats, bro.
Y'all really the GOATs about it when you think about it.
Alex, where are you going, Alex?
Alex?
Oh, he got a phone call.
Oh, damn, Alex does your shit.
Fuck Alex.
Fuck him.
All right, that was my flavor.
Oh, no, my flavoring thought of the week about the passports.
I truly, sincerely mean that if there's no, if you have no chance of me actually staying there, why the fuck do I need to show you my passport?
Why do I need to go through this whole rigmarole?
I should just show you America and then you're like, ah, are you good?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, you know that I'm not going to stay.
You know that I'm coming back.
Like, there's a, there's a, I mean, I would do it in the bit, but there was like, there's like an interview when you go to some of these countries, right?
And they're like, what is your plan here?
What are you doing?
Like, what do you plan to do?
Like, whatever I want.
Like, what's when are you going back?
When it says as soon as possible.
Look at it.
It's coming back.
Trust me.
You know, we should just be able to be like, man, I don't want to get too far into it, but it infuriates me.
It is childish.
I find it childish.
When they were asking me in Japan and they were like, well, what do you plan on doing here?
What is the time here?
Whatever it is.
That's it.
I'm just going to have the sushi and then I'm coming back to America.
Like, do you know where I'm from?
It's just, it's shocking, right?
It's not shocking.
They have some nerve to think that we'd want to stay in their shitty ass.
That's what's exactly what I said.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I missed that.
I missed it.
My bad.
The whole point, the whole point is it's offensive to me.
It's like you don't get enough in American television or something.
Like, you got to stop watching certain shows to think that we want to get out.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we're the country that got the walls going up.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Motherfuckers is trying to get in here.
We don't hate Trump that much.
Some people say they're going to leave.
They ain't going nowhere.
They ain't going nowhere.
So the point is, we're going to these countries.
We're going to Eden.
We're going where you're from.
Just to feel rich for like a week.
That's it.
That's why y'all go.
Shit is dumb cheap.
Yeah, that is true.
I want to feel rich.
I want to tip someone $5.
And they're like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Graciasadiosa heavy $5.
Because y'all pray.
Yeah, y'all mad Catholic.
Are y'all not Catholic?
Y'all mad.
Do not know y'all.
Do you not know y'all?
Son, I'm about to build a wall on the other side of Costa Rica.
Do y'all have the molester Catholics also?
Y'all got the Catholic priests that touching kids, or that's just let people fuck out there.
That's what's up.
I don't know about all that, but I mean, that was more of an American thing to me than if anything.
What?
To touch little boys?
My little priests touching priests and girls.
And girls.
That's you know what that is?
That's freedom right there, son.
I don't know what I don't know what that meant.
You got to try to find it just.
You got to try to find it.
America got to look all right.
That's what I'm trying to say.
You can't make America look bad.
Man, I got a good Epstein joke, bro.
I can't say it, though.
Oh, yeah.
So let me just say I got a good one and then not be able to say it.
Oh, I thought of a different one, though.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I thought of another one.
Or just something else.
I thought of a different idea about Epstein.
Okay.
It's a different one, though.
Thank you.
We appreciate it.
Hey, I thought of a different idea.
That's a different Epstein idea.
That's what's up.
Maybe I'll perform at one of the live shows.
Oh, shit.
Maybe.
Maybe I won't.
Maybe I'll just sit here.
Yo, that Epstein guy is a wild boy.
What'd he do?
He just wild.
He's a wild boy.
We can't talk about it.
Anyway.
Listen, the guy.
I think you should do it.
Your stand-up shows.
Like, yo, I got a joke for this.
Just go on to the next topic.
That'd be ill.
That'd be a flex.
That would be a flex.
Thank you guys for coming out.
I appreciate y'all.
Once every show, though.
Just one joke every show.
I got an ill-ass bit for this.
Anyway.
Yo, actually, oh my God, that's a good idea.
I think that, and I'll let y'all in that you listen to it, but that's a good idea to start that bit and then be like, I can't really end slowly that give them a little bit later in the set and then don't answer it.
And then ending the set actually finishes that first joke.
So there's like a connective tissue throughout the whole thing.
That's actually a really good idea.
Let's write that down.
Thank you.
God damn, Akash.
You start posting clips.
Now you know things about comedy, bro.
This guy's fucking taking over the game.
This guy's taking over the game, bro.
Let's call on this.
We just want to sing Akash's praises here.
Thank you guys.
Thank you for the...
What?
Are you saying sing his praises?
I dare you to teach me how to speak English.
I dare you to teach you.
Are you saying his praises on purpose?
Akash, sing.
Sing Akasha's praises.
I am so in the matrix of comedy that this happens without me knowing.
That's how many layers and layers and layers are on these jokes.
Okay?
Son, you got a Neil ass outfit on.
Like, you figured it all out.
I figured this out, Eden.
I figured this fucking out.
Okay?
Do you know how many different layers?
You don't even know the type of shit that I'm operating on.
It's wall breaking.
What?
It's wall breaking.
Are you making something about how you guys do construction or something like that?
What is it?
That's not what I meant at all.
Like, I'm breaking down walls.
Yeah, that's it.
Breaking down barriers.
That works too.
It is.
You were trying to do a wall thing.
A wall sticks more to my heart than anything.
Listen, the only thing sticking to your heart is the trans fats that you're doing.
I was doing what I was going to say.
You put your knee up and down, too.
You know what kind of fat it was going with?
You got to go trans fat.
You didn't jump on it.
That was good.
That was good.
That was respectful.
That was respectful.
I'm lying.
I'm growing.
Yeah.
But then we tagged that shit.
I'm confused now.
I don't need to laugh.
I'm telling you.
Y'all sleep, man.
But Arkash is going to bring a whole new audience to this podcast, man.
It's really going to blow because of it.
I'm very excited for it.
Long live the flagrancy.
Long live the flagrancy.
Long live.
We got some interesting stories, but before we get to that, I would like to know your flagrant thought of the week.
So I was listening to The Ticket.
Like I always do.
I'm like a week behind, been busy, and they're talking about this Don Lemon story.
You heard about this?
Say the one about how you regret proposing to your girl.
Remember you?
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking.
Just joking.
She knows.
She knows.
Y'all good.
It's a joke.
Y'all know I'll be fucking around.
You know what I mean?
That's so funny.
He's so pussy.
Nah, I don't know.
I know what he has.
Son, I'm trying to go to the wedding.
I never see an elephant.
Son, this wedding shit is already a lot, son.
Son, we're going to see an elephant for the first.
We go see elephants and women with beards for the first time in our lives.
You know how exciting that is, bro?
You know how exciting a wedding is, bro?
You get to ride them?
I don't want one.
But you know, that's like my homie got one.
You know how much it was?
How much?
50 G's for just the elephant rental.
Like, you ride around that bitch for like three hours or what you have for three hours, you ride around for like 45 minutes.
50?
Oh, but people get to ride it.
No, it's not a fucking amusement park, dog.
It's for the groom.
The groom rides around.
So before you enter the venue, it's like, it's like some king shit.
You get to ride it?
You thought you had to ride it like a fucking.
Bring it into the wedding in front of the elephant.
I don't know who you are.
You want it, son?
Because yes.
But we know you married.
Like, we don't want to bring it for the penis.
Son, you're going to IG pick near the elephant?
Nah.
Go to the zoo.
Bro, we got to ride the elephant.
I thought it's like when the Jews give you, put you on a chair and they fucking hoist you around and shit.
That's just for the groom, ain't it?
Yeah, that's for the groom.
Exactly.
That's what the elephant is for.
Look at this fucking.
Oh, my God.
They got the elephant dressed like that.
Burning man, bro.
You seen that shit?
Yeah.
Nah, nah, nah.
Akash, we have to modernize whatever that word is.
What is it, Eden?
Just kidding.
Oh, man.
I know you're about to.
Well, the problem words is the root word of modern.
Oh, man.
Okay.
So, in all seriousness, I think that we have to make it more modern, the Indian wedding.
And by making it more modern, you see my man right here, the white man marrying the Indian chick, and they got the elephant.
Yeah.
So, anyway, I think in order to make it more modern, Akash.
Akash, what's up?
If we want to make it more modern, I think you let everyone take part in this driving or riding the elephant thing.
I think it's very important.
It's crucial.
You want to ride an elephant?
At the bare minimum, I'd like to take a picture on top of the element.
Elephant.
Element.
Did this motherfucker just correct my speech once again, bro?
This guy is outlandish, bro.
Son, holy moly.
You've given out too much confidence on this show, man.
Yeah, I got to stop with that shit.
Everybody getting shut down, starting with you, Eden.
Fucking idiot, this kid is, bro.
Can't even spell his own name right.
How you spell your name with two D's?
It's like Eddie, right?
That's what it's supposed to be.
And then why is there an N at the end?
Someone fucked up my name and they put an N instead of an E. Who?
I don't know.
Your parents.
I guess my parents, like, someone fucked up.
And they were like, who's too tough?
And they were like, we're keeping it.
I was like, all right, cool.
I ain't have this.
Why My Name Is Eden00:02:59
Does Eden mean something?
No, it doesn't.
Doesn't mean that you're not.
Do y'all names mean anything?
Yes, they do.
Jesus, Jesus.
Javier.
What's that mean?
Not sure.
Javier.
What does that mean, Javier?
Look up the meaning of Javier.
You probably don't even know how to spell it.
Probably spelled it with an H, you fucking retard.
Son.
Oh, man.
I listened back to the audio of him calling the fucking audience member retard.
Do you have it?
Please put it up if you got it.
If you show up, I can pull it up.
What the fuck does Xavier mean?
I thought Xavier just meant black dude who plays basketball.
Okay, Xavier, Maria.
I mean, they're all biblical names.
Everybody there, biblical ass names.
You got biblical ass names.
Unless you got the Indian names from the Aztecs and shit.
And that's just like Nahuatl.
It's just like T's and L's right next to each other for no fucking reason.
Are your parents?
Is that why you have Indian parents?
Is that why they gave you Eden?
I have no idea.
I mean, every time I search up Eden, like the name, it's like some Arabic type shit.
Why do they, what do they say?
Why they name you Eden?
They have no idea.
They just thought it's stuck right.
Hey, hold on.
Keep talking so I can fall asleep.
I do nothing.
I know.
That's why it's so funny because he's the sweetest guy.
Eden, you are the sweetest guy.
I love you.
You gotta scroll through Twitter and shit.
Shut your fuck, you my god, dude.
Eden's fucking guy, bro.
He doesn't learn.
He doesn't fucking learn.
I'm sorry, I said.
This motherfucker, bro.
Eden, I want you to lay on the ground like that and put your arms and feet up because you are built like a turkey.
Done.
Eden, please lay like that.
Tell me he doesn't look that funny.
I want you to lay.
I want you to lay on the ground just like this.
Hold on.
Lay like this on the ground.
Hold on.
I want you to lay like this on the ground.
I swear to God, if Eden lays like this on the ground, I will shove stuffing up his asshole.
I'm definitely not doing it now.
Son, Pilgrim's Pride Martinez.
Just Pilgrim Pride Martinez.
Let me see you.
Let me see you on the ground.
Okay?
Yo, son.
Bro, go down.
Son, you're right.
You did answer right.
Just Patreon, baby.
It's all locked in.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com/slash flagrant2.
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