Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect the release of Schulz's new 35-minute freestyle special, contrasting their independent 30-hour editing model with major studios like Netflix to challenge cancel culture. They debate Andrew Luck's retirement, blaming the Colts for poor offensive line investment versus Luck's lack of contract negotiation, while criticizing Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown's helmet controversy. The hosts further analyze Team USA's "Suicide Squad" roster, advocating for Miles Bridges over Joe Harris, and question LeBron James' supporting cast compared to Michael Jordan's era, ultimately arguing that true greatness requires elite defensive sidekicks rather than just alpha scoring. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Flagrant Analysis00:14:18
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis by Assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh.
I'm here with Alex Media.
Eden is not here right now.
There's probably a turkey joke that we could make, but I don't have it.
I really don't.
I don't have it.
I didn't have the turkey joke in the moment.
I'm all out of jokes.
Why?
Because I released them all on YouTube.
Yeah, you did.
Okay.
New special alert.
Young king in the building.
If you don't know, now you know.
Yo, my man.
Marlowe in this bitch, dog.
I want my corners, though.
I want my motherfucker.
Even though that's Avon who said it, I don't care.
Avon never got his corners, but it don't matter.
We recreating the wire.
Y'all gotta get me spicy out here, though.
Y'all get me turnt the fuck up.
That talk I like.
Man, I gotta say, I gotta do a huge thank you to Alex Media right here.
The fucking legend, the workhorse.
For those of you guys who don't know, I'll preface.
We dropped last night, 8 p.m., my new special.
It's 35 minutes long.
No written material whatsoever.
All off the dome, freestyle, crowd work.
And we recorded it in Washington, D.C.
It's up on my YouTube right now.
And Alex Media and Mark Gagnon.
Shout out to Alex Media and Mark Gagnon and myself, but mostly them.
Nah.
I got to give credit to them.
No, for sure, for sure, for sure.
Don't undermine yourself, though.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not undermining the performance.
Okay, but I'm saying what it took to get it out on what day we released it?
Monday.
What took together yesterday?
We did a 30-hour straight edit.
That's insane.
That shit felt like a college when you're cramming for a test.
So it was 30 hours.
We were in Alex's apartment, which Alex is by far the nicest apartment of anybody on this podcast.
I just want to point out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unfucking.
Anyway, I'm paying way too much.
So that's coming down.
That's coming.
Okay.
So it was a 30-hour straight edit.
I mean, we took a three-hour nap or two-hour nap at about six in the morning, Monday morning.
I just walked into his room delusionally.
Yeah.
And I laid in his bed.
And this is how tired we all were.
Alex walks into his room after me, maybe like 45 minutes later.
He goes, son, you in my bed?
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, I got it.
He didn't even have a get the fuck out my bag.
Like, he just rolled up in that bitch next to me.
Yeah, that's it.
So, Flavor 2 listeners, Alex and I have finally slept together.
I just want to point that out.
It's a big tab.
That's the real news.
That's the special.
So.
Alex still sweating from working so hard.
He's fucking sweaty right now.
Yeah, that was from the bed.
So, so we grind, we get this thing out.
I mean, real Alex and Mark, unfucking real.
Alex and Mark shot it in Washington, D.C.
And I mean, the turnaround on this special is pretty amazing.
Like, we shot it a week ago.
It's fucking insane.
Insane.
With a three-person team, including the comedian.
You know how crazy that is?
Netflix got squads and hundreds of people.
There's billions of dollars behind that.
Yeah.
We just fucking did it.
You got an intern and a guy that you act like you want to pay because you give him health insurance.
Alex don't get no health insurance.
No, no, I don't.
We got to talk about that.
You spending that on your view.
You know what I mean?
He wants some health insurance.
I spent all that money on this beautiful ass dude.
Son, he got floor-to-ceiling windows.
Oh, I've been.
I've been.
So Joyce.
Oh, you've been there?
Yeah, it's a joint.
I was telling him, I was like, that's why we slept together.
It was the apartment effect.
That shit rubbed off on me.
So I let you rub off on me.
I had to hit up Akash and his people for medical advice and shit.
Just true.
I put him in touch with cousins and stuff.
Recently?
Yeah.
It's not worth it.
That health insurance is overrated, baby.
Like, when you have a view like that, the mental health benefits.
Every day.
That's why I'm never in a bad mood.
Oh, my God.
That's true.
It's hard to be in a bad mood when you're looking at water every day.
Yo, I'm ain't looking at water every day.
And I'm about to get one of these scooters.
Like, it's like.
You can't tell me nothing.
I'm talking about the wind in my hair.
Like, fuck y'all.
Yo, he said this.
We were working hard.
He goes, you guys want to go, you guys want to go out to the roof for a second?
I was like, you got a roof?
He's like, yeah.
And we go to the elevator and he pushes down to the 14th floor.
And I was like, you live above the roof?
I was like, nah, I'm not paying you no more if you're living above the roof, bro.
You're going to get me robbed.
Yo, nobody knows where Alex lives, Long Island City.
Nobody knows that.
Edit point.
Edit point.
So anyway, we're in there.
We fucking grind it away, man.
It's an amazing thing.
So fucking impressive, dude.
What?
So fucking impressive.
What people can do, man.
It's an amazing thing what the three of us can do.
And it's great to have Mark on a journey.
But yeah, so we put out the special.
It's 35 minutes all off the dome.
And crazy.
It is, it was, it was, it's an interesting thing that's happening because yesterday, or now it's Tuesday, so Monday, yeah.
So we're recording the same day, so it'll come out a little bit late.
But Monday was a great day for comedy.
Obviously, Chappelle dropped his new special, and you know, that was the impetus for us dropping on the same day as well.
And, you know, we were watching a little bit of the Chappelle special and people hearing the feedback.
And like, it makes me so happy that we've created an environment and we've changed the comedy environment so that now the GOATs and the greats like Chappelle are able to be flagrant again.
We've opened up flagrancy.
They're able to be edgy.
And if you guys listen to this podcast, if you listen to Brilliant Idiots, I told you before views from the sis dropped, I said, if this is successful, like I think it's going to be, you will start to see the greats like Chappelle and Rock and all these guys really pushing the limits again because they'll feel safe to do it.
Like I dropped views because I felt the energy of the comedy environment, right?
I felt like the PC shit just strangling the funny out of comedy, right?
Like there was just everybody was getting canceled.
Everybody was afraid.
And I put on YouTube because I got nothing to lose.
You can't cancel me.
Only I could cancel me.
Right.
So it's like, and I knew that the environment needed it.
I knew it, right?
And that shit does, you know, 6 million views.
That sends a message throughout the industry.
Real quick, gas, my homie, real quick.
What other special do you think got 6 million views?
Only Chappelle if he dropped.
That's it.
Yeah.
Maybe like a Gavigan or something like that.
So for you to drop on the same day as Chappelle ain't even that bold, to be honest.
If we just look in at numbers, numbers never lie.
He's a rap bar.
That ain't even that fucking crazy.
Right, right.
I mean, he's still a GOAT.
Don't get me wrong.
Yo, we'll never knock Chappelle.
That's a fucking man.
I'm in awe of him pretty much always.
I'm gonna loosen that belt off his waist one of these days.
Hey, let me tell you something I've learned.
Let me tell you something.
I wish we had gunshots.
Let me tell you something for real.
I've learned from Andrew, and I think that little two-week ass chewing y'all gave me two weeks ago helped.
Andrew, you always hear these people say, like, don't be afraid to dream big.
I haven't learned that, seeing Andrew.
Don't be afraid to dream big and say the thing.
You have to say that.
Andrew always said, I want to be the greatest ever.
And for the longest, I was like, that's wild to think that you could.
It's not.
None of it is wild.
The audacity of hope, man.
That's that Obama shit.
But it's like, it's an audacious thing.
It's a truly audacious thing to hope something or to believe something, but it gives you such a competitive advantage when you can hope it because it opens up your mind.
That's the real superpower.
In my belief, the real superpower is believing it's possible.
Because once you believe it's possible, you start solving the problems to get you there.
Like going, why can't we go to the moon?
The second you say, why can't we?
Your brain starts going, well, let's put some oxygen tanks and a rocket.
We already got these things.
Right.
So like for me, for me, I want to wear that.
I absolutely want to wear the belt.
You know what I mean?
That is the goal.
Right.
So it's like, you know, the reason why we drop with the GOAT Chappelle, don't get me wrong.
Chappelle's a GOAT.
Don't get me wrong, you know?
But we dropped because like you have to be in the conversation.
You want to be that.
You have to be in the conversation.
And this is one thing I'll say.
I don't know if it's Indian stuff or what, but I was raised with be humble in what you say.
And a lot of people, I think, used to find you arrogant.
And hopefully they don't anymore.
And what I would say to anybody who feels like this guy's arrogant, you should be inspired by this guy because there is that party that thinks he's arrogant is that party that thinks you can't be great.
Right.
It's a reflection.
It's a mirror.
You can't.
And you don't like this guy saying like, maybe you on some level resent.
He feels like he can, but fuck that.
He feels like he can, so he's going after it.
And for me, it's like, I'm going to be the greatest.
He's just, this is beautiful.
You're just giving everybody else more to catch up to.
Yeah.
100%.
Keep putting it out there.
100%.
Keep saying it and keep thinking it.
Don't ever be afraid to say the thing or think the thing.
Yo, just go for it, man.
Like, I hope that's what inspires you.
This is inspiring.
No bullshit.
I'm a friend.
This is inspiring.
And I hope anybody can take that from it.
Son, that's the way I look at it.
We really, we really fucking Robin Hood.
It's a little podcast that could in every way.
No, but it's like.
So, Al, real quick, it's like, when I look at this shit, it's like Robin Hood was stealing from the rich, giving to the poor.
I don't know who the rich is.
I don't know who the poor is.
All I know is we are creating content that's at the level of what Netflix and all these other things can do.
And we're giving it to the people on YouTube for free.
Right?
It's like, I don't even notice that that's what we're doing on some level, but it's some comedy Robinhood shit, right?
It's like, you, you know, you get in the gang together.
We're going out.
We're going to take it all down.
It's Ocean's 11.
It's like 11 motherfuckers.
It's Ocean's three.
But it's like three of us are going to go against the biggest casino in the world and find a way to take the money out of it.
And we fucking doing it.
Son, I love the fact that I'm not like classically trained in production because I don't know the rules.
Yeah.
So it's like I approach this like, oh shit, like, all right, that's how Netflix, that's how TV looks.
Like, let me make my shit look like that.
There's no reason why it can't be like that.
And then it's funny.
This happened to me maybe about a week ago.
Somebody hit me up about the video.
They were bigging me up.
And then they started saying, like, how many people's on your team?
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
You're on your team.
I'm like, nah, it's me.
It's like, get the fuck.
They were so fucking impressed by Alex.
They were disbelief.
And then I'm failed, man.
And I'm like, it's inspiring to work with Drew because he feels that same way about everything.
Like, look at this whole situation.
Like, big shit is happening soon.
Or next month, like, we're just doing this.
Let's just do this shit by ourselves.
We don't need no cosigns.
We don't need backup.
Let's do it.
Give it to the people.
You can't drop on the same day as Chappelle.
Yeah.
Why not?
Like, why not?
Why not?
That's it.
There's no void in comedy.
And don't actually find the reasons why not.
And nothing rhetorical question.
No, no, no.
I understand what you're saying.
But Alex had a great, great point because, you know, in his mind, he's coming from the rap world and he's like, you know, there's the beefs and all this kind of shit like that.
It's like, ain't no beef.
Like, it's comedy.
We're having fun.
Like, I think I want everybody to go watch Chappelle.
Go watch Chappelle's.
Nobody not.
Yeah, like, go watch Chappelle.
But, like, what he said was really interesting.
He's like, there's a reason albums all drop on the same day.
And I'm like, why?
He goes, because once you're in the music listening mood, you're like, okay, I'll check this next one.
And I want, I'm a fan of Chappelle.
So like, and I know way less people did this, but there are people that saw that ours dropped and they were like, and it referenced the Chappelle's.
So they were like, oh, shit, there's a Chappelle special too.
Now, I know way less people know that I have something and didn't know the Chappelle drop, but at least some people got to find it as well.
That's good for comedy.
Do you know what I mean?
That's the whole, like, when I see Chappelle go out there and like really be edgy, right?
Like, like, way edgier than he's been in past specials.
Like, he's edgy again.
I'm like, oh, shit, we made that possible.
Like, that's a win for us.
Like, when I see that, now, I don't think it's Chappelle going, oh, there's views from the cysts.
Now I can be.
I think it's us changing culture, getting into the ecosystem enough, getting into the matrix.
Us and y'all fans.
That's what I mean by us.
I mean, like, I mean, flagrant too.
I mean brilliant idiots.
I mean, like, comedy fans around the world proving that we like this type of comedy and that it's possible.
And we're getting to cancel shit the fuck out of here.
Right.
Facts.
And it's just like, like, that's why.
What were we saying?
Can I ask you a question about cancel culture?
You know what I would love to see somebody say whenever people are like, cancel this guy.
I want to go, when did you ever subscribe to me?
For you to cancel me, you would never subscribe.
Go ahead.
You're just leaving some shit you never even cared about.
Go ahead.
So good.
Well, that's, so that's the thing, right?
It's like, that's a brilliant take.
And that's the thing that, like, sometimes I don't want to like say, you know, like the subversive shit in a special.
You know, it was like more obvious with views, right?
Views was like, I'm going to specifically target the topics you're not supposed to talk about.
Yeah.
And I'm going to talk about them in a comedic way.
I'm going to say the words you're not supposed to say.
I'm going to do everything that they're telling us not to do.
Right.
And then I'm going to prove that if it's funny enough, it's okay.
Right.
Cancel Culture and Subscription Logic00:15:12
Because at the end of the day, it's not about comedy or jokes.
It's about the level that you're doing at.
And if it's funny, it rise.
Right.
And that's what the culture needed in the moment.
And then we created that platform for other people to go out and feel brave and do their edgy shit and bring comedy back.
Right.
We like sparked, we sparked the flame.
So many other people need to support that.
The Rogans need to support that.
Charlamagne seems to support that.
All the people that support it made that happen, right?
But we sparked that fucking flame.
And then what happens is once you can have an opinion and you can tell those jokes, then it becomes everything's a think piece, right?
It's like, this is a think piece.
And there's a million podcasts where they're going to give you your hot takes on this, that, the other.
And there's a million different, you know, even comedy specials.
Everybody's thinking, thinking, so much thinking, thinking, thinking.
So what I wanted to do with this special, right?
Is I want to, I can't do what everyone's doing.
If everyone's doing the think piece, I just want to bring you funny, raw, funny, right?
So it's like we first, it's one thing to have a think piece where you tell people how to feel and you tell them how they should be and tell audiences what they should, how they should react.
It's another thing to show it.
And if you watch the special, and I would never market it like this, and I'll just talk about like this because, you know, I fuck with the family and the army, but like I have the most diverse crowd in comedy that's not even questioned.
And if you watch the special, you see every race of people, gender, and religion in the crowd, all being made fun of and laughing at themselves.
And to me, what I want to show is: one, jokes don't divide us, they bring us together, right?
Two, this narrative out here, like we're so sensitive.
We can't take a joke, who's we?
That's y'all?
That's not me.
That's not people that listen to our podcast.
That's not, that's, I don't know who the fuck that is.
That's a lie.
That's a myth.
That's 10 people on Twitter.
That's loud people.
That's that's 10 loud people on Twitter, right?
Americans, Indians, English, Puerto Rican, the people that we put our content out to in the world love the flagrancy.
They got a sense of humor.
They could laugh.
And that's what I wanted to show.
I wanted to show that that's a bullshit narrative about sensitivity.
That's five fat girls with short hair at a liberal arts college in New Hampshire.
That's not America.
Friendless fat girls.
Boom.
Not even friends with each other.
That's why you need a mark so you can see people.
That's why you're so sensitive because you never had friends.
That's all French and Pants is shitting on each other.
No, that's a great point.
You fucking dorks.
You didn't learn this growing up.
Great fucking girl.
Nobody liked you sitting alone with your fucking apple for the teacher like a fucking bitch that you are.
First of all, it was a brownie.
So, but the idea was like, so the idea is show it.
Like, we have to show it.
And that's why I wanted to release it this way.
I just wanted to show, no, it's not that sensitive.
People are not that sensitive.
This is comedy.
And we enjoy jokes and we enjoy having fucking fun.
And if there's one thing I'm most proud of about the special, and I'm really proud of Alex for this and Mark for this, is that the way that it's shot and the way that it's distributed is like you feel the audience's joy.
Like we specifically shot it different than any other special because we wanted you to feel what they felt.
Like there's all these shots where you get to see them reacting and laughing.
You get to see joy.
You get to see people who look nothing like each other laughing at the same shit.
Nothing like each other.
And everybody is going to get their hit.
The Indian dude's going to get his shit.
The black chicks from Nigeria are going to get their shit.
Everybody's going to get their shit.
And for me, I don't know.
That's what, that's what I hope on some level, subconsciously, it resonates with people, even if they don't know.
I just hope on some level they're watching and they're just like, see, it's jokes, man.
It's just jokes.
You know, so thank y'all for everybody who watched it.
I really appreciate y'all.
I love y'all, man.
And thank you so much.
You know, keep on watching, supporting, sharing, man.
That's the only way that we could change the game.
But Al, I love you, man.
You're the fucking man.
It's so great to be on this fucking journey with you.
And Mark, shouts to you, Mark.
I appreciate you.
That young buck, Mark, doing all right, huh?
Son, he's doing all right.
He's a beast, and he's funny.
He's funny.
He's going to be a star, man.
He's going to be fucking nice.
He's going to be a star, man.
He's not going to get health insurance either, but I'm Walmart out here in this ditch.
It's so funny, like, when you have employees and when news stories come out, where they're like, how could Walmart not pay its people for it?
And then you just be mad quiet.
I don't know how that should be happening, bro.
What else going on?
Y'all see the game?
Y'all want to talk about the game?
Anyway, we don't got to delve in this.
Anything more from you, Alex, experience-wise that you felt like.
So one thing not to bring down the movie, do we want to talk about, because I watched Chappelle's special and I noticed that he had a bit kind of similar to yours.
Yeah, there's a, it's really annoying.
He has a Michael Jackson joke that is similar.
We have similar takes.
And the sucky thing about that is Chappelle's never seen me perform that joke.
I've never seen Chappelle perform that joke.
This happens in comedy.
Right.
And I mean, he had a Jussie Smollett take that I said on Brilliant Idiots and I did a question of the day thing a long time ago, you know?
But like, because that sometimes happens.
Yes.
Right?
Like, like I put that question today about like, he doesn't watch it.
Like, how could the person, you can't be racist and homophobic and watch Empire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
But that was, so that, I wasn't the only person on Twitter that thought about that or Instagram thought about that.
And sometimes this happens in comedy where like...
The thing I, he had a thing where he said about assault, my flagrant thought from the Patreon episode.
Yeah.
He had that exact like, it's not assault if you didn't touch him, whatever.
It's like, this happens.
And think about it.
Think about how many times you're with your friends and like you both notice something and somebody just beats the other to the joke and you're like, fuck, you just took the words out of my mouth.
So that's going to happen.
That's just natural.
Exactly.
There's no, like, I think when you get to like the upper echelons of this game, you start to realize that people are going to have similar thinking.
Right.
Right.
You know, like, because you have to, in order to be outside the box, you have to think a different way about something.
Right.
And, you know, there will be times where Akash and I will have this same idea about something without ever even talking to each other about it.
This just happens in the game.
The issue is when you're the biggest comic in the game, right?
Is like when you put it out, the rule just happens to be, that's it.
That is the joke.
It's like, it's like you patent the zipper and then someone in Turkey also is like, well, I too would like to close my jacket.
Right.
And then some guy from like Nebraska is like, nope, we're the only ones that allow closed jackets.
And you're like, I never even went to Nebraska, right?
It is, but for whatever reason, that's the thing.
So there's a Michael Jackson joke that he has.
And the thing that bums me out the most about it is like it to him, it's like a few throwaway lines.
They're like a couple like tweets to get him into like his R. Kelly thing.
Yeah.
For me, it's a fully arced bit.
It is like.
Son, I know you never say it publicly, but your joke is better.
So I'm going to be straight up with you.
And it's not just your boy.
I'm just saying I've seen both, and I'm a huge Chappelle fan.
Yeah.
Your joke is better.
And it sucks.
You got to retire that shit.
That fucking sucks.
Really?
I think he can't keep performing as much.
Is it better?
I'm not saying in disbelief.
I'm just asking for double confirmation.
You think Schultz is better?
Unbiased.
Unbiased?
I think it's funnier.
Like, Chappelle's is quick.
He has some quick hits and then he's out.
Like, his is like, oh, the problem is a couple of those hits are the same idea as mine.
It's not the same wording, but it's the same concept as mine.
And I have so much respect for Chappelle and just comedy.
Do you know what I mean?
It just sucks because then there's a whole different part of the joke that I would love to continue sharing with people on the road, you know?
And it just sucks, man.
So now what's the rule?
I mean, the rule is you just retire it.
You know, the rule is you just retire.
I don't know.
Maybe there's a different, maybe there's a different world where it's like, honestly, maybe there's a different world where it's like, it's acknowledged.
I mean, we have such an intimate relationship with our audience and our fans where maybe there's a different world where it's like, listen, y'all saw Chappelle's special.
You know, we had the same idea about something.
You know.
Y'all want to hear mine?
I don't know.
Look, I don't know.
We haven't.
I haven't figured it out yet.
All I know is that if I did do it, if I did do it, what were you thinking, Al?
I'm thinking that you shouldn't take the risk.
If you keep performing it, people might think that you were biting.
Right, right, right.
And so, just the fans who've been to your show.
It's like fashion markets.
They're the last ones who got the pleasure of seeing that amazing fucking joke.
Yeah, you might be right, dog.
You might be right, bro.
Unfortunately.
You might be right.
Wow.
And that's the crazy thing.
So it just goes away and it just like evaporates into the ether.
Sucks.
And there's a whole other chunk that has that he doesn't touch upon as well, which I think is the funniest part of the joke.
That's when shit gets set off.
It's like, but you can't get there without the initial thing that we have a couple.
The initial setup is to get to the other.
Well, whatever.
I don't want to, we don't have to spend too long on it.
But if y'all came to a live show, y'all know what we're talking about.
Y'all have seen it.
And I hope that you enjoyed it.
I hope that you love the bit.
And that's the cool thing about coming to the live show.
Is like, is that you're going to have these kind of one-off advances?
Like the ones who've been to a live show and the ones who've seen your bit and seen Chappelle's bit.
I'm just curious what they say.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I wonder if they agree with me because I honestly think it's better.
But, you know, maybe I could be biased, but I think it's better.
Yo, man, you're about to get healthcare, bro.
How are you feeling, dog?
Blue cross blue sheet offset.
I brought it back to the crib, made the bed and shit.
I even changed the sheets.
You know, I don't change the sheets for everybody.
Son, this dude got the most powerful bidet I ever been to in my entire life.
Son.
I should cut my gooch up.
Dude.
Son, it penetrated me so far.
It penetrated me.
It didn't just clean it.
It entered me.
It felt amazing.
I was going like this.
I didn't even realize it.
I was rocking back and forth on it.
Wow.
I was doing that shit.
Like I was at the Hezy Sutra, bro.
I was like a girl getting a Hezzy Sutra.
So it was, I was rocking back and forth.
And then it went so far inside me.
Wow.
Doss started shitting again.
It was like it knocked off the next shit.
Like, it was like knocked on the door.
The next shit, like, it's your turn.
You know, Alex hy getting his ass eaten.
They cleaning it for holding.
He likes fingers, bro.
No, I know it's a finger.
You like fingers, bro.
You said that.
Every time you try to add a finger with me, I remember you saying play with the ribs.
No, no, no, with the tongue.
Nah, you said you like fingers, dog.
Hey, the bidet feels great, and the tongue feels great.
Fuck out of here, dog.
I know.
This dude wants to marry Poseidon.
Think about it.
The water went up his ass and he started shitting boy.
That shit went up my ass and I sat down further.
You know, you know, I literally said to your bidet, deeper.
Son, that shit was amazing.
Anyway, if any gay asshole, Alex, you got to let them know what kind of bidet they got.
That's like a dude's vibrator.
What, a bidet?
Yeah.
What's a gay?
What's a gay?
Yo, yo, faster, deeper, stronger, harder.
You can just, you got all the controls right there.
Oh, shit.
It is.
Damn, son.
Okay, dudes.
Did we include that shit in this question?
No, we didn't.
There's other parts that we just didn't include, but there was a wild-ass gay dude at one of the shows, bro.
A wild ass girl.
This motherfucker was wild, bro.
He tried to fuck?
Yeah, but like, not too crazy, but like, just, he was just yelling.
You got a girl and a bidet.
Say what?
You told him you got a girl and a bidet.
I got everything I need.
What have you done for me lately?
Nah, he was just, son, he was just like open and mad gay and like talking about eating kids, like swallowing cum and getting fucked in the ass.
Wow.
Yeah, dude, it was, it was real.
It was fucking hard.
Maybe we should release extras from it.
Why not?
Yeah.
We'll see.
Anyway, all right.
Thank y'all so much for support.
And as always, man, I hope y'all enjoy this, but I hope y'all also, I really hope you guys realize like the instrumental role you've played in like pushing comedy forward.
You know, I look at ourselves like the spear, the tip of the spear of comedy, you know, and it's like we might not be as big as the widest part of the arrow, or we might not be as noticeable as the part of the spear that you hold, but you cannot penetrate without the tip, you know, and that's what we are.
We're that little dot in the beginning, and the dot's getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
But with that dot and the band pushing comedy in what I believe is the right direction.
And yeah, man, it's just so fucking cool to be part of it.
And it's not possible without y'all.
Simple as that.
Taking on the Rock Star Role00:03:36
If y'all don't fuck with it, it's not possible.
We just talk into a void.
So I'm mad grateful.
This guy's a fucking rock star out here stage diving.
That was ill as fuck, bro.
I thought that's what we were going to talk about today.
Yo, son, let me tell you something.
We were going to do a legit stage dive for the fashion video.
This is for Chicago.
We're going to do a legit stage dive for the fashion video.
Right before I'm about to go on stage, we recorded that fashion after the second show.
So I did the whole show.
And if I bombed, it would have been very awkward to ask them to catch me.
So we did the whole show.
And then I asked him, right before I'm about to go on, the stage manager for Thalia Hall, the theater in Chicago, comes downstairs and she goes, so I would like to talk to you guys about this potential stage dive into the audience.
And I was like, oh, it's a rap.
It ain't happening, right?
For some reason, I think of the idea.
I'm like, yo, how about one person, Alex, who's my guy, just stays in the audience surrounded by the other people, but I just jump into his arms so we don't have to worry about anybody else getting hurt.
She's like, you know what?
I think we could do that.
Yeah, I wasn't around when he made that call.
Also true.
No, not after.
You got a lot of faith in Alex's strength.
Oh, no, son.
Come on.
He tightens my microphone every single day.
This is the most vulnerable thing I've ever had to do every single day before this podcast is ask Alex to tighten the screws on the mic because my thumbs ain't working.
So, but so here's the thing.
She was okay with me jumping into one person's arms.
But not 20.
Not 600.
Because he would be liable and then you would be liable.
Sure, I understand the math of it, but like it is way safer for me to just jump into everybody's arms.
No, she don't give a fuck about your well-being.
I found out abundantly.
Like when she came in on some, we're worried about you shit.
And I was like, well, it's okay if I just jump on the ground head first.
She's like, yeah, is nobody going to be?
Nobody can sue.
It's going to be there, right?
And you will sign a waiver.
But that's what we're doing.
And that's what, dude, it was so funny.
And it was like right there where we realize, you know, that like right now, people were saying like it was on some rock star shit.
And we were like, yo, that's what comics are now.
It's like, what did rockstars do back in the day?
They didn't give a fuck.
They said what the fuck was on their mind.
They acted whoever they wanted to act.
They fucking woke up late.
They went out throughout the night.
It's like, who's doing that now?
Rappers?
No, rappers are singing to each other.
Do you know what I mean?
They've got the drug part, but that's it.
And the drugs they take in are like, let me take a nap.
Yeah, let me take Prozac so I can feel positive tonight.
Yeah, right?
So I can love everybody.
Make that shit to Burning Man, you bitch.
Actually, I love Burning Man, but yeah.
Shout out to everyone in the Burning Man, man.
We sacrificed this year so we could do this, man.
I think it'll be a worthy sacrifice.
We're going to get out there and I hope everybody has a great burn.
So that's the thing.
It's like, Akash, we're the fucking, I think we have taken on the rock star role.
Like, we're willing to risk it all.
We're willing to say whatever.
We're the ones getting silenced for what we're doing.
You know what I mean?
Like, rappers aren't getting their music taken down.
We're getting our joke.
You had your joke taken down.
Bro, I got throttled down on Instagram.
I got shulsed out this bitch.
That's what I'm saying.
Think about that.
That's the rock star shit.
We're doing the things that the rock stars did.
We are operating in that space because every time in culture or history, there's always a necessity for pushback.
And that pushback isn't happening in music.
Yeah.
It's happening in comedy because the pushback isn't about an energy.
It's about isn't about just like an energy that like music provided.
Like Nirvana provided that energy and like those rock bands provide that energy.
Right now, we needed motherfuckers with some sense.
Risking It All for Comedy00:05:01
Yeah.
And we needed some joy.
We needed to cut through.
And all I'm saying is you're in the fucking middle of it.
Recognize it and just know it.
Like, how cool is it?
Nope.
That's what Lennon Bruce had to go through, right?
CWA.
World, World Talk.
Comics with Attitude.
Comics for Life.
I called you NWA and Nila with Attitude.
Anyway, man, so it's cool, bro.
It's fucking cool, man.
It's just, yeah.
But yeah, any counterculture shit has spoken to a group of people that have been quieted.
And the people who aren't offended by everything have been quieted.
And now we're speaking to them.
There we go.
We're tapping into that energy.
We talking.
We're talking.
All right.
So we had a big week this week, Akash.
Some deportitos?
Andrew Luck.
Let's start with that.
Can you explain?
Okay, I heard a crazy theory.
I think, Al, did you bring this up to me?
That was going to be my flavor take, but it's fine.
So, Al, Al brought this up to me.
So, you know, Andrew Luck's dad.
Oliver Luck XFL.
It's part of the XFL.
Yeah.
Interesting.
XFL is not around this next year.
Yeah.
But it is going to be around two years from now.
It is entirely plausible that Andrew Luck takes a year off, rests his weary body, but then after that year of traveling with his wife, which I could definitely see wearing on him, this fucking idiot.
Dude, you think football is exhausting.
That you listen to this bitch for a year.
Son, a year of traveling?
You ain't been on vacation with your bitch enough.
My girl and I be beefing after three days.
Tying of each other.
Sud, I can't, bro.
That's why I don't understand cruises.
Like, you know, every once in a while you hear in the news, you'd be like, someone jumped off a cruise.
I was like, just what?
You just have one guy jump off?
Bro, that's why them windows are so small.
Do you notice in the cruisers, them windows are just a little circle?
That shit just a little bit too skinny to fit your shoulders out.
Because if that was, if that shit just, if that came up like a window in your apartment, swan diving out that shit.
I'll take my chances with the fishes.
Right?
Son.
You know how many dudes got caught just like webbing in a net trying to jump out the carnival cruise.
You got to get a food factory, son.
Motherfucker just be jumping.
I got to get out of here.
You got to catch it for the net, son.
I don't understand it, son.
I truly do.
That's why alcohol is free.
You ever notice that, like, on a cruise, they don't charge you for no alcohol?
Everything's included.
Because it got to be.
Because if it's not, I'll jump right the fuck off this boat instead of listening to my girl bitch about some shit.
What could you bitch about?
We on a boat.
Like, how do you find a way to bitch about shit?
We on a boat.
We got to go over here.
Why?
We don't got to go nowhere.
We already there.
We are already on the boat.
We can't be late for nothing.
We can't possibly.
What could you possibly be upset about?
I'll meet you there.
How do I know you're going to come?
Because we own a boat.
And if I don't come, you know where to find me.
We on a boat.
As simple as that.
What are you upset about?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck were we talking about?
Oh, Andrew Luck.
Entirely possible.
Takes a year off, comes back a year after that, and joins the XFL.
What's a dumber idea?
And X stands for ex-wife.
I was just going to ask, what's a dumber idea, joining the XFL or traveling for a year with your wife?
Both cause CT.
Both of them cause incredibly traumatic brain injuries.
Both of them result in you killing your wife.
Or yourself.
Or yourself.
That's one of the other.
That's one of the other.
Yo, one fucking year, son.
That's crazy.
Dude, I start hyperventilating just thinking about that.
Yeah.
Bro.
Bro, bro, like what?
Like what?
My girl and I spent the whole weekend together and she was like, I had enough of you.
Thank God when they say it first.
Right?
You know, and they say first and you get the fun like you don't agree.
You'd be like, really, babe?
Well, you need some time?
You need a little few minutes?
Why don't you take some time?
I'll just take an hour-long shit to get my teeth in quiet.
My girl really thinks I can't shit fast.
She really believes in her heart.
She'd be like, it takes him so long to shit.
Bathroom TV and Furniture Purpose00:03:11
I'll be like, you believe that?
You believe I can't just get it out?
I'm giving myself hemorrhoids for some motherfucking pizza quiet.
Why do you think I got a bidet?
I used to camp out in there.
I might as well have some fun.
He said, I used to camp out in the bathroom for hours.
I had to lie about being constipated the whole time I was in Japan just to get an extra hour on the toilet.
No, I still try to push, man.
Yo, you got it to prevent the Hemi, though.
You got to shit and then close the lid and just sit on the lid and be on your floor.
Oh, that's smart.
He created a bench.
That's smart.
My legs be falling asleep and shit.
Hey, real talk.
If you could build a lazy boy and a toilet, son, I'd never fucking leave.
There's no point.
I get it.
Now, now you get like all that old man shit like a fucking TV in a bathroom.
Like, you understand what a bathroom is to an old man.
Sanctuary.
It's a sanctuary.
Like, think about how much we want to get away from our wives, right?
That there's a thing called a man cave, right?
Like, the man who works and pays the rent for the apartment is willing to take the shittiest part of the house just to have some solitude.
Like, you pay for the house.
You could have the bedroom be in the basement.
What's she going to do?
Start paying for the house?
No, right?
You could say, no, my man cave is actually the man penthouse and it's on the top floor of the house.
You know how we work to get what we want?
You know how a woman gets what she wants?
Her job is just nagging you.
What is it?
Grinding you away.
What were you saying?
Didn't you have a bit about that?
Like she just grinds you away like erosion?
Basically, I don't know what that is.
Yeah, something like that.
But just like, that's her job.
It's just nagging you.
We're like, yo, I want this.
I'm going to work to get it.
She's like, I want this.
I'm going to nag my husband until he gets it for me.
You know who we are?
This is what we are.
We start as like a shard of a beer bottle on an ocean seabed, right?
And they grind us into beach glass.
They look at us like, they look at us like this like sharp, crystallized Heineken bottle.
And they're just like, oh, I'm going to make you a beach glass.
We're going to add some opacity or whatever that word, opaque.
We're going to make you opaque.
I'm going to grind you away until you turn into something I could take home.
All the edge you had, fuck all that.
I'm going to just grind it out of you.
It's so true.
They just want us to be another fixture.
They want us to be a piece of furniture, right?
It's just like, yo, be there.
Be there when I need you to support me.
Be there when I need you.
When I need you to sit on.
Be there when I need you.
Do you need anything?
It don't matter if you need anything.
Why would it matter?
That's not your purpose.
Your purpose is to provide me comfort when I need it.
And when I don't need the comfort, you fucking sit there and you do nothing.
I still need you here, though.
Don't go nowhere.
Don't think you got freedom, couch.
Every once in a while, I'm going to let my dog sit on you.
Comfort Over Mutual Support Needs00:13:04
You could be nice to the dog, too.
But besides that.
Oh, son.
I got.
How's engagement?
It's great.
It's great.
Have you used the fuck up?
No, no, no.
Like the, I got you the ring in an argument yet?
I haven't said it in an argument.
Nah, but when the arguments, like...
I can't wait for you to do that.
You don't drop that.
I dropped that immediately.
Yo, I feel like pasta for dinner.
Look at your ring.
Look what I did for you.
You're not even going to fit in your wedding dress if we get pasta.
Oh, man.
I'll be bringing it up in them playful moments.
Like when things are a little tense, I'm going to be like, I'll just look at the finger.
I'll be like, talking about somebody that just got that.
Oh, that's so good.
Oh, shit.
Yo, now when my girl gets mad, I'm scared for real.
But in the playful moments, I'm, hey, just, just, and then I'll just do this at my finger.
That's it.
We should have, you know, those like, you know, remember like, you know, the dog things where like, um, no, no, not where like when they run past a certain, you know, like, it's not a fence, but it's like an electrical one.
Right?
So when they run past a certain distance, my gosh.
So they run past.
Let's be sticking too close.
Run.
But like, they run past a certain distance, right?
You could zap the dog and the dog not so good, knows not to go there, right?
It's like electro shock therapy, right?
Shock collar.
So many women would get a ring earlier if the ring itself had like an electric shock mechanism where the second they started nagging or being ungrateful or complaining about anything or making your life difficult for no reason, right?
We could just zap them and it would send a zap.
Not an abusive, I'm not talking about abusive, just discomfort.
Yeah.
Like, just discomfort.
Just as much discomfort as you're giving me.
Exactly.
Equal discomfort.
And there was some biochemical way to quantify my discomfort and then put it in your finger.
And what it did, and what it did is...
You're trying to fry bitches' fingers.
100%.
100%.
And I'll be honest, I think it should work on a delay.
I think that it doesn't hit you right now because that's how women work, right?
Like, you fuck up right now, but you're not going to feel it right now.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to feel it later.
Right?
So, so it's one of those things where it's like.
It's too much.
Right.
White women shit.
Yo, bro.
So I'm going to be letting you know in the moment.
In the moment, fair enough.
But like, you know, white girl going to hold on to that a little bit and then hit you back later with it, you know?
So these Goldman Sachs ass bitches bodying you.
Oh, Bank of America ass.
So what I'm saying is they have that thing and you hit it, but it doesn't hit them just right there.
And then right when they're going to get their manicure and right when they on that fucking nail, right?
And they want some palm tree or some shit designed on the nail.
Zap.
Now your manicure fucked up.
Next time you think about that, when you give me a hard time for no reason, what I'm trying to provide.
Right when you try to take a moment for yourself.
That's how you get zap.
Hell yeah.
You're trying to finger yourself.
Zap.
You trying to put on one of them little dainty necklaces that takes like every little bit of dexterity with your fingers to open the clasp.
You trying to put your eyelid on?
You're trying to get that part of the hoop here in your ear, but it's difficult.
You just got to poke around.
Zap!
Real talk.
About to wipe their ass.
Should have had a bidet, bitch.
Now you need another manicure.
Oh, man.
Son.
See?
That's why we all need girls, bro.
I take my angst out on the airwaves.
Yeah, same.
You know, that's where it gotta be out.
I've never been more at peace.
Yo, Alex can't have it.
Alex can't have a girl, son.
Alex can't have a girl.
It's too stressful, bro.
Alex is good single.
I think you're better single.
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
Like, just out there in the world.
What's wrong with you in a relationship?
I just prioritize the work more.
So it creates a big stressor in a relationship.
Like, you could cancel on a girl that you're not in a relationship with because you got to work.
Right, right, right.
You know?
That's that shit.
Say what?
No, that's it.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
Now, this, this, this, me, I might be better in a relationship.
I think so.
Because it brings out the heart in me and the empathy.
It does.
Yeah.
You know, you know, it's not fun.
Y'all ever do this?
Y'all ever do this?
Y'all ever go up to your girl and be like, be like, oh, we letting our unibrows grow.
Like, you involve yourself in it too?
Like, oh, we got to do a little plucking together?
Like, I let my shit grow out for some in case.
Just in case her shit grows, I could be like, oh, we got to take care of this.
I guess we should do it together.
Relationship sheltered is better.
Let's talk back to you.
Because do all the condescending shit and let it out on.
We got a group activity, babe.
You want to do things together?
You want to, you know?
Yo, I don't know which means better because I forgot what freedom is like.
So fucking institutionalized.
It's Andy Dufran over here.
Now, you, Andy, you got hope still, son.
I'm red.
These walls got comfy for me.
I'm Brooks.
You let me out.
I'm liable to hang my fucking self.
I'm gonna see you on the beach in Mexico, bro.
We got this shit.
We got this shit, bro.
We're gonna be living on the beach in Mexico, son.
That's what a relationship is.
You know, you're here at first, these walls feel confining.
Then you get used to them.
Soon enough, you don't know what to do without them.
That's the relationship.
Son, that might be, bro.
That's love, dog.
It might be, right?
They feed you three times a day.
You'd be like, I think I'm happy.
I think this life is good.
What a fucking life.
Good word.
Good word.
What a life.
It's a good life.
It's a good life, bro.
It's a good life.
I mean, there's complications, but it's a good life.
It's a good life.
I don't want to get yelled at when I get home live.
No, no, no.
That happens already.
Man.
Yo, you know, it's mad funny.
It's mad funny.
I was in a fight with my shorty.
She raised her voice to me, and that shit cracked me up, bro.
She was like, because she was trying to like, you know how many be making bullshit ass points, like thinking they're saying something, but they're not, because they're wrong, but they can't admit they're wrong.
So, and she was like, and I was like, and I was like, I'm trying to operate on this hypothetical to understand.
She's like, I understand.
But what I was like, no, no, but just take this hypothetical situation that we got here.
I understand, but if you would just let me finish.
No, no, no.
Before we even get there, let's just agree on what the terms of on a hypothetical.
I will if we just let me, babe, can we just say, let me fucking finish.
She's going, let me fucking finish.
She just raised her voice mad loud and there's a beat.
And I just went, oh, wow.
It sounds like you date a Spanish girl.
Shout out to you.
You didn't throw a big number at her, see what happened?
What's that mean?
Oh, yeah.
Babe, 1 million.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I got to try that shit.
The number, right?
I got to try that shit.
Yeah, bro.
But these girls can't find out about babba ba.
Yo, lady assholes, don't tell no other girls about ba-ba-ba.
You're involved in babba-ba.
You could use that against your man, too.
You could bop-ba-ba.
Okay.
What would you do if your girl bop-ba-budgy?
I respect it.
That would include her stop talking.
Because if you're bop-ba-ba, you're not talking.
So we're good.
I respect that.
It's a win.
It's a win.
Why?
Does your girl Baba buy you?
No, I was trying to think if she did, how would I respond?
I felt the mild rage.
I was like, are you crazy?
Bop up on me?
Like, I didn't bring that to you, man.
Nah, I mean, I think.
Babba, bubba.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Go.
Go.
That's what I go.
Go.
When you try to take some power back when someone's talking to you.
You know what I mean?
Like, when somebody's giving you a talk and you got to act like you're allowing them to let me say, no, I have to say what I need to say.
And then you be like, go.
I heard him do that to both of us.
I know.
Go.
That's what I'm saying.
Him in a relationship now.
He's going to take all of that.
You got to take your power back when you have no power.
That's all that is.
Go.
All right.
Go.
Say your piece.
You know you're going to say your piece.
I got to sit here and take it.
I might upfront like, I'm allowing it.
Say your little point.
Say your little point.
Yo, it's therapy.
We're getting it all up.
Sorry, bro.
Do your little nagging.
Get your way.
Do that little thing you do.
We're getting it all up.
Act like you've been powering all that shit.
I'll be catching myself when I do the, woof.
I get why wives kill their husbands, bro, because sometimes I find myself doing this shit where I'll be like, look, you know, this voice where you're trying to get them to understand your point.
And for some reason, you think it'll be better to do that if you talk to them like they're four.
Don't be a psycho.
What I'm trying to say is, if you see my eyebrows go up, like, do you know, like, clown eyebrows?
You know, like, clowns' eyebrows always weigh up here?
Like, what I'm trying to say is how to talk to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How can I make you understand this?
So, like, baby, that's not.
And then she's like, don't condescend.
I'm like, well, you don't hear me talking normal, son.
I'm trying to be nice right now.
Baby, I'm trying to be patient.
Baby, you can't let me be patient.
I can't even be patient without being condescending.
Bro, you cannot win.
This is so good.
This is my favorite thing they say.
Why do you always blame it?
Why do you always blame everything on me?
Because, because I don't do nothing wrong.
What's your one?
I'm about to blame you on me when I don't do nothing wrong.
What I do, pay for too much shit.
That what I did?
Is it a problem how fast I put my credit card down in the table?
Is that what upsets you?
Oh, shit.
And you know what it is?
Like, when you fuck up as a dude, like, once you realize it, at least for me, once I realize I fucked up, it ain't even a fight.
Because it's just like, you know, you're right.
You should feel this way.
And I agree with you.
And then it's over.
So when they go, when they're like, why is it that when we fight, it's always my fault.
It's because I don't fight when I'm wrong.
Yeah.
We don't remember it.
When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.
When you're wrong, we fight because you don't realize you're wrong.
Right?
It's like the fight is never about the issue.
It's about you not realizing you're wrong.
And I got to fight you until you realize you're wrong.
Yo, this is so true.
Right.
I got to beach class you.
You won't refuse to be beach class.
The second I realize that I'm beach class.
I'm like, put me in a cup on the mantle.
I'm ready.
When she's wrong, it's just for her to be right.
It's just her thing is a war of attrition.
I'm going to just argue until you say I'm right, even though I'm not.
Yes.
That's how I'm going to win.
I'm going to just wear you down.
Yes.
I can nag forever, and I know you can't take me and nag forever.
But you know what you're wrong about?
I like to argue.
You got the wrong one, honey.
You got the wrong one because I got all day for this.
My line is like, I hate arguing, but I love debating.
We gonna debate.
Bitch, we're gonna debate.
We gonna debate.
That's my shit.
Arguing Until You Say I'm Right00:03:50
Oh my God, son.
Yo.
You know what you really can flex with, bro?
What's that?
You know what that guy said just?
So I think this might have been a Patreon thing.
Some asshole said, if you're arguing with your girl, just say a big number.
Yeah, bubba.
That was great.
Should I say a big number?
Be like, 3,462.
And she's like, what the fuck is that?
Be like, the number of views I got in a video last week.
Let me be great.
Tired of this shit.
The amount of times I thought of you this week, that's what that was.
Drowning you.
I was just joking.
Just joking.
I'd have to take you to a beach for that.
Nah, man.
White girls be drowning motherfuckers in a bathtub.
It's true.
If they're related.
Son, fuck, man.
Love y'all, man.
That was the best.
I don't know how we got here with Andrew Luck, but God bless you, man.
Andrew Luck.
He's traveling with his wife like a fucking idiot, man.
That's true.
Speak your show are missing, son.
Son, real talk.
That guy got too many teeth.
You ever see him talking?
You're like, man, get a couple of them out of here because it feels like your mouth is crazy, bro.
He looked like Wolverine sort of kind of like he looks like Down Syndrome Wolverine, bro.
Doesn't he?
Yeah.
Like he goes like this, but like only one of them comes out.
That gentle, happy Wolverine.
Hey, you guys!
Hey, Storm!
Where are you guys going, Kay?
Hi, Phoenix.
Hey, Phoenix!
My bad says!
Whoa, Tyclops!
Your eyes are really red and hot.
He just falls on the ground.
It's okay, guys.
I'll recover quick.
Yo, how strong is Retard Wolverine?
Oh, shit.
Oh shit.
Fuck.
Oh, shit.
That's Superman strength right there.
Holy shit.
My man is the incredible Hulk.
He don't feel no pain.
Every time you hit him, he just absorbs the energy.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Maybe that's all Hulk is.
Yo!
Yo!
Oh, God.
Oh, because real talk, we've never seen a retard angry.
So we don't know how strong they get, right?
Retards are always happy.
But imagine a retard looked at you like you took his ice cream and he was like, You don't want to see what happened?
We're not angry.
No, the whole thing works so well because the way he talks is a little tardy, son.
He's tardy, son.
Oh, my God.
His pants don't come down to his ankles.
Shits are all ripped.
Motherfucker got no shoes on.
You can't figure out why.
The guy's Hulk.
What if it's just Hank?
That sounds like a good retard name, right?
It's exactly how it was saying.
Hank Smash!
Hank Smash!
Hank Angry!
Oh, my God.
That's the dude from Green Bao, son.
He just trying to kill us.
He didn't even mean to kill him.
Hank Smash and Andrew Luck Drama00:16:05
Take my hand.
Flagrancy is alive and well, guys.
The flagrancy is live and well.
Oh, my God.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my Lord.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, so Andrew Luck.
I'm sorry, Incredible Hulk are taking your girlfriend on vacation for a year, son.
Dude.
A year.
It's just.
She don't want that.
Dude.
Fucking year.
You guys are about to find that.
You guys are about to meet each other for real, for real, dog.
You're going to meet each other, dog.
You're going to meet.
Travels a different level, man.
That's like, we are all we got.
Do you think Andrew Luck reacts the same way with his wife in arguments as he does when like players sack him?
Oh, yeah.
He just gets emotionally real.
Hey, that was a great point, babe.
Great point.
Really good idea.
Really good job.
Oh, fuck.
Anyway, shall we talk some deportitos?
Yeah.
Well, how do y'all feel about the fans booing him?
I thought she was a whack.
I didn't want to grandstand as much as everybody else was, but like.
What were they booing though?
What was the idea?
Because he retired, and then they heard about it, and then he's just leaving the stadium, and they happen to see him, and they just start booing for him retiring.
But it was like, did they?
I respect it.
The fans?
Yeah.
Okay, go on that.
Oh, you guys might have to talk about this while I go pooples.
I got a pee also always.
Should we take a pause and then come back?
Okay.
Okay, we back.
What we're going to do is pay some bills because we got to do that.
And after that, we're going to hear Alex's theory about Andrew Luck.
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Let's get back.
Alex, tell us about Andrew Luck, your theory.
So before I do that, it's kind of funny how, you know, when a bunch of women are together, like they work in the office and their cycle's synced up.
Yeah.
We spend one night in a bed and now our shit schedule's sink.
Yo, that is so true.
All of us.
We hang out too much.
Okay, Al.
So you were talking about Andrew Luck.
So I just respect the fans for booing because I'm sure he's been thinking about this for a long time.
And to wait till right now before the season's about to start to retire, I think was his dick move.
So that was my question, right?
It was, does his timing hurt his team?
My take is he's been hurt this whole time and he's probably been trying to come back and he's probably in the last like month maybe, or maybe it was a thought gnawing away at him.
Like, maybe this ain't maybe this too much, but like he was going to be hurt regardless.
He didn't just retire.
He had a high ankle injury that wasn't getting really better.
I was reading, you were reading little reports here and there that like it's not really getting better.
And this is coming off of his crazy shoulder shit.
Right.
Where he got comeback player of the year last year.
And I think that's why he was like, man, fuck.
My body, I just don't think can take this anymore.
How much of this is the fault of the Colts?
Oh, I put it squarely on Jim Arce.
Explain that.
So Jim Arce, when, and this is to Peyton Manning's credit, when Peyton Manning is there, Jim Arce is the owner of the Colts.
Not the coach.
He hires GMs, but he's pretty involved.
And he's kind of a fuckhead, and he's got arrested on drug charges and all that.
But when Peyton Manning was the Colts quarterback, he said a lot, maybe to the overall detriment of the team wins, but he was like, I want this weapon, I want that weapon, I want this weapon.
Understanding is he had a lot of say-so.
Andrew Luck seemed like he was just kind of like, I'll trust you guys to build the best team.
The Colts never invested in an offensive line until last year.
Right.
Last year, Andrew Luck comes back healthy, plays great, but before that, he would get the shit kicked out of him every year.
And if you don't protect your quarterback, why are you paying him all this money?
Here's my question to you.
Is Andrew Luck an idiot for being the good employee and go with what the organization says?
To a degree, you're fucking up if you do that.
At a certain point, you got to speak up.
It seems like, and I'm not going to say Kevin Durant is the exact same situation, but like, it seems like when you put the team ahead of yourself, which is what we want from all of our athletes, right?
Which is what we admire about them.
What do we admire about Tom Brady?
Tom Brady.
Hey, you took less money.
You did all these things.
That being said, I don't think you can reward an organization that doesn't protect you.
I think if you have an organization that protects you, like for example, Tom Brady, I'll take less money.
You know what?
Want to know why?
Because you guys every year have invested in the best protection possible for me.
So I've been able to play till I'm 42.
You earn this discount because you actually gave me 10 more years of productivity.
My health is better.
Like, think about that.
If you do a 10-year career, you're making $20 million a year.
That's $200 million.
If you have a 20-year career at $20 million, that's $400 million.
You paid me an extra.
You allowed me to make an extra $200 million because you protected me.
You deserve the discount.
You invested in my health.
So I'm investing.
Back in you.
And back in you.
Symbiotic relationship.
It's beautiful.
But when an organization makes absolutely no effort whatsoever to invest in your health, and it's kind of public, right?
Yeah.
You know, they're not drafting an offensive lineman.
You watch every draft and you're like, why do they keep drafting receivers?
Like, that's not going to stop my ankle from being sprained, or that's not going to stop my shoulder from being fucked.
At a certain point in time, I think you have to hold Andrew Luck accountable.
I think you have to say, this isn't the Colts' fault.
This is Andrew Luck's fault.
He didn't demand, he didn't demand what he needed from his organization.
It stops with you.
At the end of the day, we always accept responsibility for whatever goes wrong in our life.
That's how it has to be.
Like, if you bomb a show, you have to put the blame on you.
Yes.
But like, the Colts are also, I remember they traded a second-round draft pick for some cornerback, Vantae Davis, who wasn't even that good.
You traded a second-round draft pick.
That's a great place to get like a good guard.
Matter of fact, they got a great guard in the second round last year, I'm pretty sure.
Guard is an offensive guy.
Offensive lineman who protects you, guards you.
Literally what the term is.
So they just fucked around in the draft every year, it seemed like they didn't have a good line until last year.
Last year, he's comeback player of the year.
If you did this five years ago, you have the best quarterback in the world.
You're in the public playing.
Yeah, and he's the best quarterback.
You have the best.
Outside of Brady.
He's up there.
He's in that class.
Brady Brees, Rogers, Wilson.
I think if he's healthy for this whole time, I think he's in that conversation.
It's really mind-boggling to me, man.
It's not like you, it'd be one thing if that, or if you're part of an organization that never had an elite quarterback with tons of potential.
It'd be one thing if you're part of an organization that never invested in a quarterback and saw what an elite quarterback can do for you and how it can help you win a Super Bowl.
But you literally saw it 15 years.
Just had Peyton Manning.
So the only reason Peyton Manning left, injury, neck injury.
So why not keep investing in protecting the quarterback?
Because if he's healthy, he's good to go.
It is an odd thing.
And look, the Colts could go on and win three Super Bowls, and then I'll shut the fuck up forever.
And we are wrong about Andrew Luck.
My suspicion is that that doesn't happen.
I think they're done.
And Kobe Brissette or whatever, I'm not impressed by it.
I'm not saying he's going to be bad, but like, I was impressed by Andrew Luck.
He could do everything.
It is an interesting thing.
There are a few things you can control in life, but you can control the way people treat you.
Yeah.
Meaning you, not the way people treat you, but you can decide, you can allow them to treat you a certain way or not.
You can dictate how they treat you.
For example, if you let someone treat you a way that you don't like and don't do anything about it, they will continue to treat you that way.
If you don't allow that, and that doesn't mean you punch them in the face, that just means that you are making a statement on how you would like to be treated in a certain situation that dictates how you are treated after that.
Is that a way you can negotiate a contract?
Like, look, I don't have to be the highest paid quarterback in the league, but I need to know damn near in writing, if not verbally, with this money you save, you are getting this like a top-dollar lineman.
I would not be surprised if you saw contracts extended past personal gain.
In other words, I would, hey, especially because there's a salary cap in a hard salary cap, like the NBA.
No, no, no, no.
I mean, like a per player.
No.
So that's no max contract.
So that's tricky.
Because there's no max contract in football.
You can just keep on asking for more money and to fill the void of inconvenience.
Let's say that the max a player could be paid was $20 million.
Right.
Right.
You know that, like LeBron, you're worth more than $20 million to the franchise.
Right.
Right.
So you have to get other things in your contract to justify the discount that the organization is getting on your value.
Right.
So what I would ask for, if I'm Andrew Luck or any player, I'd be like, listen, you're getting me for 20 million.
You know, if it was a free market, I'm 40 million.
Right.
You get 20 million off.
So what you're going to do with that other 20 million, I'm going to dictate how you spend that.
Right.
Meaning next year's draft, you have to with your third pick, draft A, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
Now, that could be looked at as like bossy and this, that, the other.
But you could make the argument that you need a Pro Bowl alignment or something like that.
You could find ways where you need your protection because clearly the organization, or you just dip from the organization.
That organization did not give a fuck about Andrew Luck's health.
Yeah.
So fuck them.
Stop being this smiley, goody two-shoes fucking guy.
That's your life.
Everything you work for.
You're just going to smile away.
Yeah.
Fuck that.
Yeah.
Stand up, dog.
Fuck that, dude.
I don't think that's wrong.
And I, so here's the thing with because there's no max salaries, quarterback salaries are taking a huge percentage of the overall cap.
Yeah.
Like it's a hard cap in the NFL.
So there is no exception in which you can go above the cap.
There's no Larry Bird rule, blah, blah, blah.
But also quarterbacks, like Russell Wilson's getting $35 million a year.
And I think the cap is like $160 million for the whole team.
So you're 53 roster spots.
25%.
25% or whatever is going to you directly.
Wow.
So you could say, look, I'll take $28 million a year, but I need to know this extra $7 million is going toward protecting me.
And that will pay off for both of us.
And isn't that what Brady did?
I think so.
And maybe it wasn't written into the contract, but maybe it was understood.
And a guy like Brady has such great communication with the organization and such great trust.
Like you, if you're Brady, you don't even need to say anything to Belichick.
You could say, listen, I'm going to take less.
I trust you to do the right thing with that money.
And Belichick is going to go, all I do is the right thing with money.
Yeah.
That's what I do.
They don't even like each other, but I'm sure Belichick is like, you just need a good offensive line to protect your quarterback to win.
Because I like winning, and you help me win when you're protected.
100%.
So it's like, don't be an Andrew Luck.
Yeah.
Do not be an Andrew Luck.
Yeah.
Be a fucking dick because history will remember the wins.
Nobody remembers the shit talker that Larry Bird was.
Right.
Nobody remembers the pain in the ass, pesky, foul, you hard.
Nobody remembers that.
Baby Johnson got a coach fired.
Nobody remembers when he got a championship winning coach fired.
Yeah.
They won a championship.
Right.
And then he got the coach fired immediately afterwards.
That is the biggest douche.
That's why he got AIDS.
No, but that's the biggest douchebag move in the fucking world.
Yeah.
But he won.
Won.
I think that is the move, but you can only do that move with organizations you trust.
You cannot do that move with organizations which are going to have a new GM every two years, a new fucking head coach every three years.
I can't put my faith in this GM if it's not here next year.
And my contract is already now I got this cheap ass contract that I got to live up to and the GM that I agreed to the shit with ain't even there still?
The sad thing is they just got a good GM for Andrew Luck last year.
Then he had a great offensive line.
Now he's hurt.
That's some shitty luck this guy had.
If they got this guy Doug Ballard four or five years ago, he would be fucking.
I think he could, man, he can do everything.
He's like Aaron Rodgers, but he's actually built more stocky than Andrew Rodgers.
Yeah.
I mean, he must have taken a real, he must have taken a real punishment because he actually is built more similarly to Russell Wilson than he is to like a Matt Ryan or any of these like kind of like slim lanky guys that you could see.
Yeah, he looks like he's built for it.
Yeah.
Just makes me sad.
Real sad.
Anyway, what else we got?
There's last football story I was thinking is there's more Antonio Bryan helmet drama if we want to keep talking about it.
Well, I want to know about the Big Ben thing.
Did you hear about that?
No.
Oh, I just want to point out that I was right about that helmet, that he did try to paint his old helmet.
Yo, yeah, he said it as a joke.
Do you remember this?
He's like, why don't you just paint the old one?
But he said, why don't you just bring your Pittsburgh helmet?
And we thought that he meant literally wear the colors.
But you meant like change the.
Yeah, just bring the old one that you like and just paint over it because his grandfather did it.
You guys called me fucking a retard for that shit.
Here's the thing.
If he was smart, he wouldn't have done that in practice.
Just practice with the helmet they want.
And then game day, you wear your old helmet and it's not a big deal.
He's a fucking idiot.
He created this big marketing hoopla about it.
The news went now.
They're going to look at every detail of his fucking helmet on game day to make sure he did it.
If I would say that I'd be like, yes, absolutely.
I think that's a great idea.
Thank you guys for helping us.
Hey, paint that helmet just like the game day helmet.
We should 100% do this.
Hey, the buckles are a little bit different.
Just put the new buckles on it.
Make it look as close to similar as we possibly can.
Oh, I love this helmet.
Thank you, NFL.
You're the best through the whole season.
Nobody fucking knows.
Yeah, you're speaking logically, but if you see his hair, I don't think he's a lot of fun.
Yeah, I don't, you know what?
To that point, if you see his hair, I think he just wants attention.
Can't you just go to shut or whatever the company is and be like, hey guys, make a helmet for me that I like that fits these standards.
Deion Sanders Helmet Marketing Hoopla00:08:43
You don't think the Raiders would be throw massive money behind that?
Yeah.
You are a marquee player on a team that is moving cities.
Yep.
That needs marquee players.
Yeah, he has all the leverage.
He has all the leverage, but he don't use it because I think he just wants to draw.
He just wants the attention.
Why?
Yeah, attention is a fucking drug, man.
Why the fuck?
Why the fuck has he allowed the media narrative about him to be he's a dick?
And why has he leaned into that?
I don't.
Did Pittsburgh put that out there?
Didn't Deion Sanders kind of have that same shit?
No, but we love Deion.
Deion at least had like, so let's say Deion had like the negative.
Well, you probably know more intimately because you were with the Cowboys.
My recollection of Deion is it's all about me, but never at the expense of the team.
When Deion didn't play for a long stretch with the Cowboys, he had turf toe, which we didn't realize at the time.
It was like a fucking nasty.
But like, that was it.
He was hurt if he wasn't playing.
And then, like, it was never, hey, I'm holding out because you don't.
A fucking helmet restriction is like, and it's here's the thing: if it was not safe enough, people would publicly get behind you.
But it's the NFL is bullshit, but they're trying to quote unquote make it safer.
So the perception is, okay, I get that you're trying to make this helmet isn't safe enough, but I want it.
So we can't even get behind you on a fuck the NFL for safety issues thing.
You know what I mean?
It's literally, you want the less safe helmet?
Yeah.
I can't get behind this.
Deion was, I'm a score, I'm dancing, I'm whatever.
But I also shut down the entire field and then I don't distract the team like this, not negatively.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's never the, it's, it's me and the team are equal, but it's never me over the team.
The perception of it.
Right.
And you, I imagine you were okay with the off-the-field antics because you knew once the whistle blew it's prime time.
Which you can say for AB too, but like he's not going to cause dissension in the locker room.
Can you?
Can you say that that's the case?
Because remember, didn't he get into some tiff with Ben Rofflitzberger?
Yes.
And then they sat him down?
And he didn't like the Juju Smith Schuster was voted team leader or whatever the fuck.
And so he sat out the last game.
Deion didn't do that shit.
Exactly, right?
So like Deion had his off-the-field antics, but when he was on the field, it's game time.
Yes.
Why don't athletes get this?
All you have to do is show up and do your fucking job.
And we don't even care if you're murdering people.
Alex, whatever his name is.
Ray Lewis.
Ray Lewis.
Alex Hernandez.
Hernandez is there.
Aaron Hernandez.
Like, they're just out there murdering people, but when they showed up and they practice hard, do you mean you're out all night murdering and you come in, you're there early, you're doing your suicides, you're doing your drills, you know you're prepared to play, and we look the other way about it.
AB practices hard too.
Apparently, he practices the hardest.
It's just, it's just at the expense.
Why are you causing a dissension?
T.O., same shit.
T.O. was a fucking fanatic when it came to nutrition, when it came to work.
He was a beast.
Yeah.
But he always caused dissension in the locker room.
It's always me at the expense of the team.
Deion would apparently go on to meetings, team meetings, with his headphones on.
He'd show up late and he would just be like, point to the screen and be like, I'm taking care of that side of the field.
And then he wouldn't listen to anything.
But it's never getting leaking out to the media.
It's never him in interviews, calling out teammates.
It's never him fucking.
It never feels like it's at the expense of the team.
I didn't know that until years later.
It just felt like, yeah, Deion loves himself, but that's it.
He still loves the team.
When it's game time, he's not causing any problems.
We're good.
I mean, like, it's just so shocking to me.
It's so shocking to me that there's not some.
I guess what happens is when you get to a certain level where you don't have people that can check you and be honest with you and like tell you.
You know, it's just like he's being rewarded for it to a large.
He's fucking being, we're talking about him.
They want this fucking attention, dog.
It's like you can't just wait for the season to start when we're going to say you're the best wide receiver in the league, hands down, every week.
That's all the conversation is during the, dude, during the week.
Wait a minute.
Hold on.
No, no.
AB was getting touchdowns.
It was Julio Jones that wasn't getting touchdowns.
Yeah.
Okay, I was trying to say, like, maybe that's caused the anxiety.
That's why he needs to be spoken to.
Here's what's tough about you ever played.
Did y'all play like just football out in the yard or whatever the fuck in New York on the streets?
Yeah.
If you're not getting the ball a receiver, it's so fucking frustrating.
It drives you insane.
A huge game for a receiver.
He touched the ball eight times.
Eight times is a big game.
It's a big game.
And you're running plays, dog.
Plays, I'm blocking.
I'm out here.
And that's it.
It's a position where you want attention.
You score.
Yeah.
You like attention.
So not getting the ball and wanting attention is a bad mix.
And not getting the ball.
And they don't have less competitiveness.
No.
But imagine you're equally competitive, but you can't control whether you'll be able to contribute.
Yeah.
Like, that would drive me fucking nuts.
That's why I like playing point guard in basketball because I felt like I could dictate the game and help the team win, even if I wasn't scoring.
At least I know I'm part of the play.
You're involved.
You're touching the ball.
And who else has these fucking big attitudes often outside of football?
Biggs.
Shaq had a big fucking attitude.
If he wasn't getting his touches, it was a problem.
If I don't get the ball, if you aren't delivering me to rock in the post, it's a problem.
And there is a vulnerability not being in control of your fucking destiny, I guess.
And imagine having to deal with that shit as a quarterback.
Imagine looking at your wide receiver like, you know, I want you to catch the ball.
Right.
Like, do you think I'm purposely avoiding throwing the best guy on the team the ball?
Yeah.
I made the best decision I could before I got a concussion.
Yeah.
Like, like, I am sacrificing my relationship with my family to get you the ball.
And I'm a little bit off with my throw as a 300-pound man is charging at my chest to permanently change the way that I walk for the rest of my life, trying to get you the ball, and it's a little off, and you got to come back and bark at me with a blonde mustache.
You're lucky I don't punch you in your fucking mouth.
You are lucky I don't punch you in your fucking mouth.
Bruh, so frustrating.
I get both sides.
Even as a cornerback, you can be a prima don or whatever, but like if I, if I don't see any action, that's a sign of respect.
So I still feel rewarded.
They need to throw the ball.
You know, you know better.
Yeah.
You know better.
That is, like you said, ultimate.
Yeah.
If they're going, if you have five blocks in a game, that means they don't respect your ass.
Yeah.
That was trying you.
Yeah.
But you're still involved.
You still did your job, whatever.
But as a cornerback, you can even not see no action, and that's a sign of that's the ultimate respect.
They won't even look at me.
That's the thing about interceptions being a misleading stat.
Yeah.
If you got tons of interceptions, they was trying you, dog.
They were trying you.
They was trying you, dog.
You know what I mean?
If you got, yo, if you look at the elites, elite guys, they might not have that many interceptions.
The zone guys, I think, do, right?
Like the, what is it, Sherman?
Richard Sherman.
Like, yeah.
Because if you're playing zone, you can actually, like, in certain coverages, you can jump the ball.
Or like, there's, there's different ways.
Obviously, I don't know as much about football, but like there's different ways to impact the play when you're in a zone because you can leave your guy.
That makes sense.
I don't know enough about zone defense, but I think you're just covering an area.
Yeah, you're in an area.
So you can jump a route knowing full well you got a little coverage in the back.
Where if it's Revis Island, it's one-on-one.
I can't jump that.
Yeah.
Because who's got that's touchdown city?
Yeah.
Right?
So it's like it's just as a young fan.
I didn't get that because Deion, when he signed to the Cowboys big money, he wouldn't get interceptions like that.
And I was like, this guy sucks.
And then people had explained to me, no, they're not even looking at this guy.
That's how good he is.
It's not even an option to throw over there.
You're throwing over there.
You've taken a big chance.
Don't do it.
It's like a great counterpuncher in boxing.
It's like, why is there no action in this Floyd fight?
Because every time they try to throw, Floyd crushes them with a fucking overhand right.
So they get hesitant.
So there's no action.
And Floyd's just waiting on them to throw.
Hey, throw, baby.
I'm here.
Yeah.
I'm not running.
I'm literally right in front of you waiting for you to throw.
Yeah.
So anyway, interesting.
Interesting.
What else we got?
Actually, let's pay one more deal and then we knock out another one.
You want to hit this one up, man?
Because I saw you had the headphones in today.
Oh, so you had them headphones in today.
Wireless Earbuds and Camera Obsession00:07:23
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If you got wires in, you look like a fucking dork.
Straight up.
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We're not going to name names, but you know they're not that great.
You got to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon.
Raycon earbuds start at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbud on the market, and they sound just as amazing.
The company was actually co-founded by Ray J, and celebs like Snoop are already obsessed.
Raycon's E50 wireless earbuds have totally changed the game.
They're super comfortable.
They're easy to take anywhere.
They fit.
They don't fall out.
You had told me this.
The other ones, every headphone earbud I've ever had always falls out of my ear, except these.
So some wireless options are not that stylish.
They stick out, man.
Everybody can see them.
These are discreet.
There's no dangling stems, nothing like that.
They offer their wireless earbuds for everyone in a range of fun colors at an unbeatable price.
So go buy Raycon.
Go to Raycon.com/slash flagrant2 to get 20% off your order.
That's not a small discount.
Go do that.
And again, that's not the promo code.
That's baked into the website.
So you just do Raycon.
What is it?
Buyraycon.com/slash flagrant for 20% off your Raycon earbuds.
If you've been eyeing a pair, now is the time to get them one more time.
www.buyraycon.com slash flagrant.
There we go.
Damn, you were good at that, son.
Oh, thank you.
Arcash, you got to do more of these reads, bro.
Got you, dog.
I got you.
Yo, so there's some cool news for Arkash.
Arcas is extending the tour.
You got more dates going on.
Got more dates, son.
Talk about it.
Talk about it.
Shouts to TJ.
He knows who he is.
We got a date coming up, and I'm going to get the exact date soon, but I'm going to be in Philly in February at Helium Comedy Club.
I'm going to be back in San Francisco.
We're doing a small joint soon, but I'm going to be back there in January for two shows.
San Jose, actually.
And then I'm doing Sacramento.
I'm doing a one-nighter also.
And there is.
Do we have links for this?
Yeah, we're going to have to take links up soon.
Good.
So this is, and shouts to TJ, man.
That's our agent.
And he's the best, man.
Come on, come on, man.
Always, bro.
You know, you're part of this team, man.
So it's like we got to build things that are different.
And, but it's just so cool to see you doing these things, man.
Because when we start, you know, like when we started comedy, I think it's so important to like reflect.
And this is no matter what business you're in.
I don't give a fuck if you work at your consulting firm job or whatever like that.
Like when you start it, you imagine what life is going to be like in the future.
Right.
And you don't stop imagining what life will be like in the future as you progress, right?
Yeah.
You always keep that vision ahead of you.
So oftentimes you miss the shit that you're in.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like you're driving on the highway, you see some big mountain range, and you're like, oh man, I bet that's just going to be beautiful when we get there.
And then you get right in the mountain range, but you're still looking forward and you're like, yo, you see that lake over there?
Yeah.
I bet that shit's going to be beautiful when we get there.
And you keep driving, you forget to notice how fucking beautiful shit is.
Good way of putting it, yeah.
Right?
So it's like when we started comedy and we're both thinking, oh man, it's going to be so sick when we're out here playing the clubs and just hitting the fucking road and being comics.
You know what I mean?
Like it's cool.
It was cool for me when I started that.
And I'm excited for you to for you to do that and like just see that happen and like the fact that we could build that.
Putting up the clips.
Clips are getting numbers.
I have a video trying to teach white people how to say the musty.
It got 300,000 views on Twitter in like two days.
It said 300,000 on.
Oh, gosh, man.
I'm telling you, you're going to be that guy because I think like India is just such a massive market, you know, because these, all these people got the internet, but they don't have shit to make content with in the same way that we do.
Whereas like an American will buy a DSLR camera and then just, you know, or even their iPhone that got 4K on it and post shit.
In India, motherfuckers are still poor.
Yeah.
They ain't got $1,500 to buy camera gear and stuff.
It's so cheap and that's it.
Right?
So it's like, but they still want this distraction.
Yep.
So you got 2 billion people, whatever percentage of have cell phones now, and they're looking to be reflected in their art.
And who's a cooler Indian?
You're the coolest Indian.
Yeah, I might be.
You are.
Who's cooler?
I don't know.
I honestly can't.
You're cooler than Aziz, for sure.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Who else is there?
So it's like, in terms of cool, there are guys that are really good, but in terms of cool, so it's like, you want to be reflected in that.
And then once they see the art, once they see what you fucking do, I think it's going to be big, man.
And shout out to the assholes for always commenting.
That shit has helped so much with the algorithm and IG and everything.
And they, I don't think they try to take my post down and throttle it down if it's not for the love that it's getting and the assholes supporting.
If there's nobody watching, they don't give a fuck.
It's like, you don't got to take a post down if nobody knows it's there.
You only got to take posts down that are popping.
Oh, that's so good.
So good.
Appreciate the assholes.
Please keep it up.
I'm going to keep posting videos every Thursday and just keep doing it, man.
Showing love, guys.
Also, Matador Tour, man.
Thank y'all so much, Chicago.
That was fucking unreal, man.
Thank you, Abby Sanchez, who was the host.
Mark Gagnon, obviously featuring.
And then Toby McMullen shot some cool videos.
This video was so fucking sick.
It was sick, man.
Toby.
We might have to do some things with Toby, man.
But thank you, everybody in Chicago, for coming out.
That was magical.
You know what's cool about that video is it captures how big it's all getting.
You know what I mean?
Like, you talk about it on the podcast and you can try to visualize it, but the Chicago video was the one that I was like, oh, this is what it's like.
It's different now.
Now I see it's different.
You know what's interesting is the fashion video really showed that to a lot of people because, you know, like it just exposed, it's so easy to be like, I'm at this show or I'm at this theater, but people don't recognize, they don't like correlate a show or a theater to an actual theater for whatever reason.
They're just like, oh, he's in Chicago.
Oh, he's in Memphis.
But fashion is this thing that's just popular, right?
Like whatever reason is people watch it.
You know what I mean?
And it's like having the jump in the crowd thing as part of fashion, fashion brings them in and then they see what we're doing.
They're like, oh, shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, like Rogan texted me about the fashion video.
He's like, bro, those fashion videos are incredible.
Fucking greatest, man.
That's the most fun thing to make.
Son, it's so fucking good.
And we got another one that we already shot.
We can't tell y'all about it, but it's hot.
Anyway, so Mad Dor Tour, man, we're going to be in Russia.
Hopefully we make it back from that alive.
And then we're going to go to Australia.
That's going to be fun.
We'll be there for a couple of weeks, man.
And then we're coming back.
And, you know, we got more shows we keep adding.
Theatricalshalls.com.
Go get them tickets.
I think New York is almost sold out.
Only a few left.
So get that.
Boston, same thing.
Like, go get them shits right now.
And don't wait because it always happens, man.
Team USA Defense and Australia Trip00:15:22
Y'all wait, and then there's nothing we could do.
Same.
Yeah, the coolest thing about Chicago is after we sold out both of the theater shows, we did a pop-up show.
I saw that too.
That was some rock star shit.
That was so cool, man.
And really, to be honest, like the inspiration for that is Chappelle.
Like, I always loved that Chappelle would just be in the city and be like, I want to do a show tonight.
And then in a day, this shit has sold out.
And like, that's what we did.
We're like, hey, we're going to be there Thursday.
Should we do a show?
Yeah.
Like, it was just, anyway, so cool.
Anyway, but go on.
Yo, real quick, I got Houston, September 6th, Austin, September 7th and 8th.
Anybody who's a shooter, asshole, camera people, sound people, holler at me.
I think we know some people in Austin or Houston.
We'll connect y'all.
Appreciate you.
But yeah, yeah.
City, I'm in.
Yeah, Ming.
So, but yeah, let's talk about some more teams before we get out of here.
We got to get this episode up because I know we got to get this episode up because we're already a little late today.
Sorry about that, man.
We were doing things yesterday.
Team USA lost, which you said they wouldn't.
They lost a scrimmage.
Not a real game.
They just lost in 78 games, though.
But it's a scrimmage.
Have you seen the squad?
There's motherfuckers I swear to God I've never heard of on this.
I don't know.
Can you pull up the team USA roster, Alex Coos?
Because there's literally, I don't even remember their name.
They're so fucking, it just sounds like some generic ass white guy.
Yeah.
This team is not even a four seed in the West.
It's like, it's not a good team.
Interesting.
The best players are Kemba Walker and Chris Middleton.
Yeah, that's not a good look.
I'm disrespecting them, but like...
That's not a good look.
That's not an international squad.
That's not a good look.
And on some level, I understand completely who we got here.
All right, Jalen Brown, Chris Middleton, Brooke Lopez, Kyle Kuzma.
Kyle Kuzma's out.
Who's out because he's heard Joe Harris?
I don't know who that is.
White boy.
Nice at threes.
There should be no white dude on Team USA.
He's not Larry Bird.
Be out, bro.
This is the Christian Layton on the rock.
First of all, I think that's absolutely hilarious.
I guarantee the only reason he's there, I think he was the guy who won the three-point contest this year.
Okay.
And I think the only reason here is because the FIBA 3 is shorter.
Is closer.
And you could play zone in international.
So they're like, yo, we need to surround this shit with some shooters.
Give me some white boys.
Also, you're playing against non-Americans, so white boys can guard them.
Oh, interesting.
Right?
Interesting.
I think that's the reasoning.
That being said, I 100% support your no white guys on Team USA.
It's a real problem.
It is a real problem.
I'd rather win.
Was on the team.
Wasn't Miles Turner?
He good, but like, come on.
It is.
Yeah, it feels like a DC movie.
Yo.
Wow.
Right?
You're like, The Avengers comes out, right?
And that's what we're used to.
And all of a sudden, you're like, well, we got a suicide squad.
And it's like, well, commit suicide already, dog.
We don't know how to feel about none of this shit.
No, Joker yourself, family.
No, you start rooting for the Joker.
That's how shitty DC characters are, is that you root for them to die.
You root for the bad guy in DC to kill the superheroes.
100%.
That being said, I still don't think we lose.
I truly don't think we lose.
I feel impressed by this team, though.
And you know what?
If you're a player on Team USA right now, you're one of these bums that's on our team.
This is your time to get a contract.
Meaning, if you show up.
Show out and somebody will notice.
Remember, like every World Cup, there's some random star from some African squad, World Cup of soccer that like kills.
And then all of a sudden, or like it's from a Costa Rican squad or some shit like that.
There was like, I think Chicharito was one of the guys from Mexico.
And like people knew he was nice.
But when he bodied motherfuckers on the international stage, I think Manchester United was like, yo, we need that.
Yeah.
Cough up the bread.
This is why we kept thinking Mellow was still good.
That's true.
That's a great fucking point.
He held on to Mellow for he's like, oh, he still got it.
Yo, real talk.
Mellow should be on.
If I'm Mellow, you really want to play?
Oh.
You really want to play?
You want to prove that you could play?
This is the perfect system for you.
First of all, zone so you can shoot over it.
The three-point line is shorter because the NBA is out of your range, but the FIBA one is right in your range.
They're not athletic, so you can play defense.
You're not athletic.
You're playing against Lithuanians and shit like that.
You're going to be fine.
This is the perfect, if you really want to say, I still got it, and you want to showcase that to the world, check your ego.
Play here.
You'll be the OG.
You'll be the only four-time, I think this will be his fourth, fourth Olympic gold.
Right.
Son, how are you not even there?
That's a no-brainer, bro.
You could get in over Joe Harris, I think.
I'm not saying you're as useful, but you could get in there.
I remember Mellow balling out in one team USA.
It was when he scored 37 points on 17 shots or something.
He just didn't miss.
It was just three after three after three.
2008, Olympic Mellow.
That's where that.
That's Olympic Mellow came from 11, 12 years ago.
We're still holding on to this.
One summer, he died.
He was incredible 11 years ago.
And that was the whole thing.
It's like, if he's a catch and shoot guy, the whole conversation we were having was, oh, when he's on a team with LeBron, he has to play a role.
And I think Kobe was on that team too.
He has to be.
Kobe was the alpha of that team.
Yep, Kobe's the alpha.
And LeBron was just so physically superior.
He had to show some respect.
So he just played his role, came off picks, and just splashed.
And he was the most dominant player on that team.
He was the best, he was the most effective player on that team.
And this fucking idiot couldn't just come into the NBA and replicate it.
That's all you would have to do.
That's literally all you would have to do.
What a fucking idiot.
Now you're working out in Chris Brickley's gym posting Instagram clips like me.
You trying to get into the NBA with the Schultz blueprint.
I got new three-pointers every week on my Instagram.
Hey, any teams want to sign me?
Well, what happens with me?
You don't get signed.
You keep doing it yourself.
Let me ask you a question about Chris Brickley.
Who's the guy he really developed?
Who is his, like Tim Grover?
Jordan.
Kobe, Dwayne Wade.
That's a fucking squat.
Interesting.
Work with Barkley.
Interesting.
What is LeBron a bit?
What is your theory?
I don't, we've really bought into this guy.
And I'm not saying he's trash.
I'm curious.
I'm actually asking who's the guy that, for me, proves what everybody else is saying or what.
Is it possible?
And I'm just throwing this out here.
Is it possible that he could be innovative in his approach to the offensive game in the same way that D'Antoni is innovative, yet they don't have the ring or pedigree to justify it?
Because when I follow him on Instagram, I want to be proven.
I don't know enough to say.
But I just watch his clips and I'm like, oh, I'm working with this guy.
We need to have him on here, and I can arrange that.
I would love it.
Yeah, let's have him on there.
Let's have him on here because I guarantee you, if players are going to that gym, which is a small gym on the west side of New York that is kind of like open to the public to watch a little bit, it's very one inconvenient to get there.
They all play there.
They all play there.
I saw a canter here.
Yeah, son and son.
They're all there.
It is the pickup gym.
But here's the thing.
It's not a good gym.
It's too small.
They have to play four on four.
There's like a lot of issues with this.
So there's a reason everybody's going, it has to be outside of marketing.
We have to figure out what his contribution is.
I just need to know what.
I'm going to ask Carl Lentz.
Carl knows him.
Okay.
And I mean, look, I'm sure the kid, listen, you know, looks, race, all these things play into everything.
I'm not trying to like blame shit.
I'm just saying it's to what degree do they play into it.
The guy's interesting looking, right?
He has the leg sleeve tattoos.
He looks like a cool white boy.
So you're like, okay, what?
There's this cool looking kind of white boy who's working with these like famous shooters.
If I'm some young white kid that likes basketball, I'm curious.
I'm like, well, what does he know?
I assume he's dope because he works with all these guys.
And he looks kind of cool.
Oh, he swagged out.
So I'm like, yo, there must be something to him if these huge-ass black dudes buy into this white dude with leg tattoos, basketball theory.
Right.
So let's, so maybe there's something there.
Maybe it's a perfect storm.
Who knows?
He doesn't even look like a basketball player to me.
He looks like a fucking basis for Green Day.
Yeah, he looks like he works as Supreme.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Clearly, so I'm like, yo, for all these guys to buy in, there got to be something.
No, no, we're going to figure that out.
We're going to figure that out.
We're going to figure that out real quick.
All right, let's talk about a couple more things and then we got to run out of it.
You see James Harden working on his one-legged three-pointer?
So Hardin had an interesting thing where he said he wants his step back to be the equivalent of Michael Jordan, Fadeaway, Kareem Skyhook, people who have had legendary influence on the game.
I love that.
And it is a fucking great move.
And it has become ubiquitous with shooting.
This is what people do.
They'll do these little side steps.
It is unguardable.
It is unguardable as long as they don't call it a travel.
Yeah.
Which I don't believe it is.
No.
So I think it's awesome.
I don't understand the competitive advantage of the one-legged three.
I don't understand what that offers.
I think it's like a fadeaway three, essentially.
I saw him shoot it.
Yeah, I saw him shoot it.
I think it looked like almost the Drew League gym or some shit like that.
But he's like running.
I didn't understand why it was so important to shoot that off of one leg.
Maybe it allows you to be in motion so you don't have to stop and collect.
These guys are going to notice so much shit we don't notice.
I guess with comedy, I noticed the minutiae of it.
So maybe there's something like maybe a step back.
You need such a big step back.
This you can do quicker.
Like the one-legged three.
You don't have to pop all the way back and take an extra.
It saves you fractions of a second, maybe.
And you don't have to stop and give the defense a chance to catch up.
You're still moving away from the defender as you're shooting.
If he can shoot it at a high clip, I mean, I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm very excited.
What did you think of Hardin's argument that the media created a narrative that it wasn't going to be him that won the MVP and that's why he didn't win it?
That he had an historic season.
He should have won the MVP.
I don't know, man.
Whatever.
You get bounced in the first, second round, second round.
At the end of the day, you could complain, but you got to win.
Yeah.
I don't like, what do you want?
Two MVPs and no finals appearances?
Why do you care about the MVP so much, dog?
Maybe that's your problem.
Yeah.
What I remember, if you have two MVPs to me as a guy who's not, I don't really want to love James Harden.
I'll look at him.
I'll be like, okay, well, you got two MVPs.
And then in game seven of the conference finals against a dynasty, you bricked every three at home.
And in game six, you were up 3-2.
Chris Paul went out, who's not nearly the player you are, and you couldn't carry the team to a win.
One win in two tries.
That's a great point.
So you get your second MVP.
I'm going to still remember that.
Does James Harden have some mellow in him?
He might.
Any player who doesn't sell Out on defense, you can kind of throw a little mellow thing at him where it's like you got enough videos of him playing a horrible defense.
Yeah, there you can you can craft a mellow narrative about him pretty easily.
He's a better player for sure.
Yeah, no doubt he's better, but remember when Chauncey said that shit about Mello?
Yeah.
I'm wondering if James, I'm wondering if an MVP season for James is good enough, right?
Like, I'm wondering if that might be unfair, but I think a couple more seasons where it seems like he's putting up crazy numbers and they don't win and he seems to like I think there's there's got to be something else to do besides another offensive move this offseason, right?
Couldn't you theoretically be like, I've dedicated this offseason to defense or distributed.
And I don't mean that like an asshole.
I mean, like, I would buy if James Harden, I heard saying that, I'd be like, oh, shit, James wants to win.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what's up.
But when you're like, oh, I'm working on a one-legged three, it's like, bro, you're already one of the greatest offensive players ever.
We need this one.
I've dedicated this offseason to a one-legged three.
Wait, that's what you thought your game was supposed to be?
You thought you were shooting off too many legs?
That's what you thought needed to be changed.
His one-legged three.
That's what's keeping you from a ring, huh?
Two feet.
Guys, I swear to God, if I was able to shoot off a one leg last year in those playoffs, I mean, I know I'm so exhausted I can't shoot off two, but why don't I bring all my weight on one?
This makes offense harder, so I'm more tired on not trying for defense.
It's like you couldn't get elevation off of two legs because you were so exhausted right now.
Now you're focusing on one.
What do you think D'Antoni even what do you think is going through his head when he comes back from his Italian vacation and he finds out his star player of the entire summer was working on one leg fadeaway threes?
D'Antoni seems to only care about offense too.
He probably thinks it's brilliant.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
But yeah, if you're a coach, like Popovich, if Duncan was like, hey, man, I've been working on fucking half court shots.
He'd be like, I don't.
Or like the old, the slow-ass burrs.
If Duncan was like, I've really been trying to extend my range to the three, he'd be like, get your fucking mind.
I got Bruce Bowen planted in a corner.
I got Manu.
I got, well, Tony can't really get threes, but like, we don't need you.
We need you in the paint.
Yeah.
That's conventional wisdom, and now he's changed.
I get that.
But like, bro, don't dedicate yourself to defense right now.
Or even if it's, I'm trying to figure out the best way to get everybody else involved.
Even if it's bullshit, I'd buy it.
I'd be like, yo, that's great.
That's missing.
Sell me a dream, dude.
Yeah.
Sell me a fucking dream.
Like, he's being honest about it.
He's like, I don't give a fuck about anything but scoring.
Yeah.
I don't care.
KD dedicated himself to defense.
KD wasn't a strong defender when he came into the league.
Oh, really?
I remember.
I thought that was his shit.
I remember him being one of the greatest offensive players in college history.
And then I remember college, too.
Oh, my God.
I thought you were talking about KG.
No, Kevin Garnett.
Yeah, yeah, KD.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, yeah.
He was not a defender.
He was not a defender.
Now Kevin Durant's a fucking defender.
Yep.
Great help defender, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's something he built up.
And I remember him the first time he played in team USA without a bunch.
When he was like, this is your time to be the alpha.
I remember his defense.
They were like calling for him to be a better defender.
And he did.
Harden, we've been calling for that.
Not happening.
And you won a second MVP for historic offensive numbers and your team got worse.
That's interesting.
Yeah, there's no accountability for Hardin, and he doesn't seem to have his own personal accountability.
Like, you don't need to score anymore, dog.
You score enough.
You are undeniably the best at scoring for your team.
Kevin Durant as a Great Defender00:07:18
Maybe the best at scoring in the league.
I'll give you that.
Sure.
But that's not the difference maker.
And you got to eventually realize that.
And you got to go, maybe I'll score five less points a game, but I'll lock the fuck up.
Yeah.
Because that is going to take 10 points away from the other team.
And now we have a five-point plus.
What helps you win the game?
What is most effective?
Go out there and guard their best player.
Go out there and guard Steph.
Go out there and guard these motherfuckers, yo.
All the GOATs that we look at as GOATs, there was a time when they were like, I'm locking down Kobe.
Jordan.
Jordan.
LeBron.
All of these guys.
Jordan won a fucking defensive MVP.
LeBron could have guarded one through five in Miami.
Kobe was a great defender.
I remember Kobe guarding the Kings that conference finals, just marking up Bibby.
Wouldn't let him get past half court, bumping him everywhere.
Kobe would fucking, I'm locking down.
Let's go.
And Kobe's a guy that we know love to score, but he still said, let's go on D. How old is Harden?
28, I want to say.
So he is beyond the age where you realize what it takes.
He is himself.
Maybe.
Because in my mind, I think you can make changes on the type of player you are.
He's 30.
He's 30.
It's too late.
I think it's locked.
It's too late.
Like, you can make change on the type of player you are early.
That means you can add things to your game and shift the focus in your game.
Kawhi is a perfect example that came to the league as this real athlete and then defensive stopper learned how to shoot and then learned how to be an elite scorer.
But I don't think you can change your mentality about the game after a certain age.
Like Mello couldn't change his mentality about the game.
You don't change your mentality about the game after a certain age.
And 30, this is what Harden is.
You need to put somebody on that team that actually, I don't even know.
Maybe the problem, I mean, as much as Chris Paul is annoying, the problem is Harden, man.
Yeah.
I mean, you could also say the problem is the Warriors.
Right?
Like, if there's no Warriors, the Rockets probably win.
Yeah, fair.
Win it all.
Right.
You could say that about so many teams.
Exactly.
So right, the Warriors.
He's one of those teams every year.
Every year.
And the Warriors are there.
So what are you going to do to get over that?
Right.
And now it's not the Warriors, it's the Clippers.
And you know where the Clippers are going to make their name?
Defense.
You know who would be the perfect teammate?
And we say this for everybody.
You know who would be the perfect teammate for Harden?
LeBron?
It's Kawhi.
What?
I'll lock down whoever, fam.
Yeah.
I'll do it.
Hey, all I need you to do is go out there and get buckets.
Because all Kawhi wants with Paul George is James Harden.
Yeah.
Take the burden off me.
Yo, can you get some buckets so I don't got to carry these fucking teams?
My knees hurt.
Like, all I need you to do, I'm going to do everything.
I'm going to lock the best player.
I'm going to carry this fucking team.
I'm going to do whatever we need to do.
I just need, when I'm tired, just give me some buckets.
Give me some buckets.
That might be the most important aspect of a championship team is having an excellent defensive player who can also score.
100%.
Pippen, Clay Thompson.
Oh, fuck.
Great point.
Jordan, Kobe.
Duncan as a sidekick.
As a sidekick, that is probably the most important asset.
If you have it as a sidekick, if you have it as a sidekick, it's through the roof.
Usually your alpha player is that.
But if you, I mean, like, Pippen couldn't shoot, but Pippen could score, but that's a lockdown.
Yeah, yeah.
They could also score.
He could score.
You know, so it's like 100%.
And James Harden needs to acquire.
LeBron.
That's part of what my argument is for LeBron maybe being the GOAT.
I put it to rest when he went to L.A. temporarily.
But he never had a Pippin.
He never had a guy to.
Nah, but Kobe didn't have it.
Nah, he had Shaq, dog.
He had Shaq.
The second two were fucking earned.
The second two are really earned.
I also think that we underestimated Powell's skill.
Powell was a really elite, like I didn't want.
I thought I was going to get dog problems.
Really?
Nah, Powell was an elite big.
Like, for his touch, his passing, his like, it wasn't Shaq.
Kobe's the alpha of that team.
Kobe's the defensive alpha.
Oh, Andrew Bynum helped him.
Every big man was walking through.
So I give Kobe his two for sure, those last ones.
The other thing Kobe had that LeBron didn't have was a Phil.
And maybe you could say LeBron won a loud Phil.
But all those other guys, all the GOATs had great coaches.
All the GOATs had GOAT coaches except LeBron.
Kobe and Jordan.
Magic.
Riley.
Yeah.
Who's Shaq?
Who's the other guy I was just thinking of?
Tim Duncan.
Duncan.
Like, name all your GOATs.
They all had a great coach.
LeBron's best coach ever was.
Yeah.
Maybe Hakeem Elajawan didn't have a GOAT coach.
Who was that?
Rudy Tomjanovich or something like that?
True.
But Stanley is very well respected.
He's well respected.
Isn't now, but he was brand new when he got LeBron.
This might be crazy to say, but I think we overestimate how great Dwayne Wade was.
I don't think Dwayne Wade Dwayne Wade is.
Individual Dwayne Wade was crazy.
He got the championship too with a washed up Shaq.
And I mean, he did that to my team.
Just destroyed us.
Couldn't stop it.
So Braun did have it for two of his.
He had, but then Dwayne was always hurt in the playoffs.
I just don't think.
That first year LeBron choked away.
Sorry.
That first year LeBron choked away.
That's on him because Dwayne Wade was healthy and good.
When he won the championship the next year, Dwayne Wade was hurt in the playoffs.
When he won it again the next year, Dwayne Wade was hurting the playoffs.
They played, but he was like 50.
He wasn't 100%.
He wasn't fucking D-Wade.
I know there's times where D-Wade was just destructive and unstoppable.
I'm not trying to take away from that.
I just never saw Dwayne Wade play and went, wow, this is one of the best to do it.
I just never had that feeling.
Oh, there were games before LeBron where I was like, holy fuck.
Dude, there's games where I've seen Deion Waders play really well.
Right?
Do you know what I mean?
I also, there was back in the day, if we remember Ray Allen, Ray Allen was a force of nature as a two-guard.
Dude, Ray Allen could yam, too.
He would dunk on people.
It was unbelievable.
And then he, as his career progressed, just kind of turned into this, you know, amazing three-point shooter.
But like, I don't put Ray up there.
Yeah.
And like, he was doing things Dwayne wasn't doing.
So I don't know.
Like, but that's just me.
Maybe I didn't see enough Dwayne to say.
But there were games when like I remember.
Like, was Dwayne Wade better than Reggie Miller?
I think so.
Nah.
Son, Reggie.
Reggie's an all-time.
Reggie ain't have no Shaq, bro.
Like, Reggie had Luke fucking Deuce Smith or whatever.
Rick Smith's right.
I was hurt to say as a Knicks fan, but nah, Reggie got that.
Son, Reggie was unstoppable.
Unstoppable.
Eight points in eight seconds made me an NBA fan.
Like, I kind of liked it before that, but I like that whole lot.
Red Clay Comedy Festival Experience00:04:11
We got to watch this.
And that's when I was like, oh, this is a fucking sport.
Oh, my God.
I guess what I was trying to do is assist your LeBron Artists.
No, for sure.
For sure.
And I think I'm saying Dwayne Wood is great, but we forget LeBron had peaked D-Wade, healthy D-Wade for one full season.
And then after that, it was always injury problem.
Guys, who knows, man?
It's a tough one.
I love y'all.
We love y'all.
We're so grateful.
We had an amazing week, man.
I'm excited to see what else continues for this week.
I'm excited to see what this video does.
And it will do whatever it's supposed to do.
We did our job to put it out there.
If y'all like it and y'all fuck with it, y'all are going to spread it like a virus.
And yeah, man, I'm just super grateful right now, Al.
How you feeling?
Good.
I'm happy.
Great.
Great fucking work, y'all.
Thank you, man.
Thank you, man.
Anyway, guys, thank you so much, man.
The flagrancy is spreading.
We are doing our job.
Y'all should feel so intimately involved in this, man, because without y'all, none of this is possible.
I 100% mean that.
That's not lip service for me.
I don't believe in lip service.
So thank y'all for this.
And, you know, we got some very cool things cooking, man.
We almost can tell y'all about it.
It will be in the near future.
We will start to, you know, we'll start to let y'all know in the near future.
And I'm very excited to share it.
Obviously, always, thoughts go out to Kaz.
Love you, brother.
You're a brother for life.
Akash, anything else before we get on?
I'm going to plug my dates real quick because we got dates coming up in the next week.
But before I do that, also.
Oh, I thought you did already.
I didn't plug the dates that are coming up.
Just do the next two.
Houston, September 6th, Secret Group, 8 p.m.
Austin, September 7th and September 8th, the Fallout Theater, 7 o'clock on the 7th, 8.30 on the 8th.
Buy tickets at AkashSing.com.
Also, guys, we try to promote comedy and help the culture.
I got a friend named Mike Albanese has a very funny comedy festival in Atlanta called the Red Clay Comedy Festival.
Have you done it yet?
No, but this is a great thing.
I am going to try to stop by this year.
It is a comedy festival in Atlanta.
I believe it is October 2nd through 6th.
I'll double-check the dates.
Red Clay.
Red Clay.
Comedy Festivals Run by Comics.
It's a great time.
This guy, he's a comic.
He does it all himself, puts it together, flew us out last year.
They're the best.
It's a great fucking time.
Comedy festivals run by comics are the best, man.
It's the reason why Skank Fest in New York is so fucking incredible.
You know, shouts to the Legion of Skanks guys, Louis J. Gomez, Dave Smith, Big Jay Okerson, and that Christine, that whole crew.
And then Red Clay Comedy Festival, Mike Alvina.
October 4th, 5th, and 6th.
If you guys are in the area, check it out.
Support comedy.
They know how to put on a festival.
The festival is not to, you have to understand when comics throw a festival, they don't make money at it because comics are so bad at business, they don't understand.
They care about the comedy.
And so the shows are going to be great.
The experience is going to be great.
Nobody's going to profit off it.
They're doing this because they love the fucking art, man.
So if you're in Atlanta, check that out.
Obviously, if you're in New York, you know, check out the Skank Fest.
I'm going to do a big promo for that next year when it comes around because I think it's a fucking New York institution.
We need to support.
But Akash wanted to talk about Red Clay last week, and we had finished recording, and he forgot.
But I think it's awesome that you want to give them some shine, man.
I think that's really cool, man.
It's like, I think it's, I'll be honest, I think it's a testament to anybody in a creative field.
Like, once you get a platform, if you use that platform to help other people, you're built to have that platform.
If you use that platform only to help yourself, then in my mind, you're not doing the right work.