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July 19, 2019 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
08:24
Shoutout To Women
# silent letters scottish accents quebec language policy dietary habits french language preservation indian accents irish accents language accents long islanders nigerian english offensive speech patreon quebec

Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect linguistic quirks, comparing semen taste to melting candy and debating Nigerian versus Indian accent nuances while making offensive remarks about bilingualism. They analyze silent letters in Nigerian English, critique Scottish speech patterns lacking the word "can," and condemn French arrogance in Quebec by likening locals to Long Islanders. Ultimately, this chaotic exploration of dialects and dietary habits serves as a satirical commentary on cultural identity and language preservation. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Sugar, Licking, and River Erosion 00:02:33
My hen's going away, bro.
Congratulations.
A lot of licking.
Put it down.
Like a little kitty cat.
We all know how that's just going away.
Bro, you got to punch it back.
Feedback in that.
Dog, for real.
No, the licking does work.
It's like erosion.
It's like how a river treats a rock.
It's like slowly over time.
It just wears it down into a nice little beach glass.
You ever see a little piece of beach glass?
Like a little pebble.
My shit is a nice little pebble now, bro.
Little seashell out there.
Soft corners, soft edges.
Put your ear to his hammer and you can hear the ocean.
It's like a peanut MM.
You just lick it eventually and then it gets smaller.
Melts in your hand now.
Melt in your mouth.
What is it again?
Melt in your mouth, Dot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Damn, bro.
I think my cum stinks, bro.
What?
Yo, I think my cum stinks, bro.
Are you just having this revelation?
Just the other day, I came in in a girl's mouth, and how fast she made it to the bathroom offended me, bro.
Like, I was still busting, and she was hoofing it to the bathroom.
Like, the first one hit her, and she just went like, she went like this.
She went, bro.
It was so fast, bro.
It was so fast.
I was like, where?
Oh, man.
I just touched the top of it.
What are you eating, bro?
I'm not even smelling it.
What do you eat?
That's probably why your cum stinks.
I don't eat any asparagus because that shit makes it smell bad.
Even my pee smells bad off that.
Really?
If I have an asparagus at 5 o'clock, by 5:20, I will be pissing asparagus.
And my cum stinks too.
I refuse to do asparagus.
Yeah.
Don't do it.
But mostly, you know, I have a whole foods diet.
He does.
I don't eat any bread.
No refined sugar.
No refined sugar.
Maybe that's why your cum stinks.
Because I'm not getting that sweet.
Maybe you need your sweet.
They're supposed to be glucose.
Preservatives.
I need some sugar.
You need some sugar in your hands.
Have a little jam, bro.
I need some jam.
I need some jam and peanut butter.
How do you say peanut butter?
How do you say peanut butter?
Peanut butter, I think.
Peanut butter?
Weirdest Words in Nigerian Accents 00:05:46
What's the weirdest word to say in a Nigerian accent and an Indian accent?
Let's do it.
I know they say V's is W's.
So, like, you don't buy a vacuum, you buy a vacuum.
I have to vacuum.
I have to vacuum.
I have to.
I have to.
I have to vacuum.
Oh, have to is how to.
Yeah, because there's no V's.
It's all W's.
And W's are V's.
How do you say cow, Kav?
No, no, no.
It doesn't switch.
Everything's a W. Nah, it switches sometimes.
How to actor?
How do retarded Indians sound?
They sound extra retarded, dude.
A retarded Indian?
Wow.
Yo, you know how smart Indians are?
Even our retards speak two languages.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Geniuses.
Oh, shit.
I how to walk you.
I have to vacuum those nuts, but they're all over the car part.
Okay, Cass, Nigerian accent.
Go.
Nigerians have like a really big problem with like silent letters.
Okay.
So like we can't say like honorable, it's like honor.
How do you say lasagna?
I'm like my mom.
Yeah, yeah.
She says like lasagna.
But how does she say it in her accent?
I made some lasagna.
That's a good accent.
She was made gentle.
It is a peaceful ass.
It is very peaceful.
It's very peaceful.
It's a lasagna.
Yeah.
How do you speak violently with that accent?
You just say a lot of people.
There are many rapes happening in the town.
We must do something to stop these rapes.
It's a lot of teeth sucking before you say anything.
It's like, ah, ah.
And then you'll just say whatever.
Stop the rips.
Like, don't.
No more rips.
And then, like, it's just a lot of like, you know, inflections and like teeth sucking before you say anything.
That's how I know my mom's pissed off.
I'm like, oh, shit.
All right.
She means business.
Maybe that's the reason why rape is a problem because the girls don't sound that upset about it.
They're like, no, I would not like to.
I did not give consent to that.
I am not interested in doing this right now.
Is there another activity we could do?
Please kindly remove your piano.
Please, God.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You seem to be continuing this act.
If there's a way that we could stop it from happening, that would be lovely.
I would like very much to go on with my day.
You're going into Indian.
I'm about to say that's not a more English.
I didn't even want to.
Oh, God.
All right.
So what about fucking Asian, bro?
Scottish.
I'm so bad at the Scottish accent.
It's crazy because you're good at so many accents.
Everybody else is accessing.
That's the ones I need to fucking do.
What do the Scottish say that's weird?
There's nothing that I find that they say that's that silly, goofy.
Sure, you could find some.
I truly can't think of anything.
I don't know the difference between y'all and Irish people.
I was about to say, I was lucky.
Yeah, Irish is more like ours, right?
Who the fuck is I'm thinking of Cameron?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who the fuck is that guy?
And Scottish is more like, all right.
How you doing?
I can't.
They don't say can.
I say, I can.
I didn't.
I didn't.
Okay, so hardies are not your thing.
Yeah, but it's like the language isn't, they speak English, so it's not as fun.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, I wish I had to be speaking some of the native language in Nigeria is English.
But isn't it like Igbo or Ibo, Yoruba?
Like, it's just like dialects and shit.
Okay.
Like, the official language of Nigeria is like English.
See, they get it.
Yeah.
These countries that try to keep their fucking language, bro.
Well, I mean, we were kind of enslaved.
So, like, yeah, but like, that was a good thing that came from it.
You ended up having the language the world fucking speaks.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, these, I'm going to Montreal this weekend, and these fucking idiots are fighting to keep their stupid language that nobody speaks.
Like the French look down on.
That the French don't even.
That's a great point.
They think it's like so trashy.
They're like, you guys are, you guys are like fucking apes.
Yeah, they're Long Island.
They look at them like they're Long Island.
You bastardize their language.
Yeah, Quebec Croix.
Get the fuck out of here.
What is that?
Bro, but you know they can't even write shit in not French.
And you can't even get a government job in Canada unless you speak French and.
Get over yourself.
Son, get over yourselves.
French even?
What do you mean?
Just the language.
The French is such an arrogant language.
I know you're going down.
No, it's just fucking...
It's a very arrogant language.
It just, it's mad.
It's hard, bro.
It's hard.
It's pussy.
Your face right now is actually like a normal French face.
Dude, it is pussy, bro.
Say big goods.
Fake numbers.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
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