Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect tax evasion strategies, contrasting cashless digital tracking with historical loopholes like Warren Buffett's stock loans. They analyze their grassroots rise via Reddit versus traditional media, critique modern sports journalism quality, and debate NBA player retention while mocking the "Beehive." The conversation shifts to tennis, comparing Roger Federer's humble longevity against Novak Djokovic's intense dominance on clay, before concluding with tour announcements across Detroit, Tokyo, and Australia. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
New Flagrant 2 Channel00:05:11
We have another important announcement.
We have a new YouTube channel just for Flagrant 2.
That's right.
That's how popping these vids are getting because of you.
So please, please subscribe right here.
Hopefully Alex can put an icon near where my finger is pointing.
If not, I look like an idiot.
But subscribe to that right now.
That's where all the Flagrant 2 clips and full episodes are going to be from now on.
Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.
Tell your friends.
Tell the world.
We love you.
Keep it tight.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2, No Easy Buckets Analysis by Asshole Water Cooler Commentary for your sports needs.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Real Life Cass, Alex Media, and Eden on the ones and twos.
And we have a very important message to make.
I'm not sure if we spoke about this on the Patreon.
Akash, was it the Patreon that we spoke about the kid who OG Smurf's sister or cousin had a fucked up liver, needed a liver transplant or was going to die?
Yes.
So he came out to the Patreon.
He came out to the people.
He was asking for a liver.
Now, turns out a couple days later, someone dies, and then his cousin gets their liver.
Right.
What?
Just the way you say it.
Your inflection is funny.
Someone died for that to happen.
Somebody has to die.
That's how transplants work.
That's true.
Okay.
This is in Slovakia where you can just take your fucking liver and you wake up in an ice bath.
Okay.
This is the United States of America.
All right.
That's what they should do before they kick the Mexicans out is take their organs.
That's why it's ice.
You know how I got it.
Y'all thought it was going to be little.
I thought it was going to get real fucking dark.
And I was like, ah.
There we go.
That's a good thing.
So check it.
But then OG Smurf told us within those, what, three days, Akash?
Within those three days, hundreds of patrons reaching out saying, yo, my blood type is O positive.
Yep.
I got you with a piece of my liver.
Bro.
Which is crazy.
Then just got a message today.
I screenshot it because I want to give my man's credit.
I want to give my man's credit.
Where's he at?
I don't know.
Where the fuck is he at?
We're not going to take too long.
No, no, this was a different one.
But still, a dude hit me today and he was like, yo, I'm O positive.
Ask if OG's.
I've reached out to OG's burden.
I haven't heard from him.
But if he needs a liver or he needs a piece of the liver, I got you.
That's crazy.
Bash from Discord, the guy who made the Discord texting me.
He said, I'm going to just drink of mine anyway.
So give it up.
Yo, so just think about that.
What an amazing community to be part of.
Like.
Motherfuckers are giving organs.
I'm so proud, man.
I'm so proud.
When we said the army provides, we meant the army provides.
And it's just an amazing fucking day.
I'm not going to lie.
I thought your cousin was going to die, bro.
I'll be honest with you, though.
When you said it, I thought it was a wrap for your cousin.
Three days later.
It gets to the point where you're asking for total strangers in the patriots.
And also, here's the thing.
And you know what?
Your cousin might have fucked up because he took the first liver he was offered.
Right?
You don't know what that liver went through.
We had some assholes out there.
They could have had a much better liver, a stronger liver.
Listen, Akash probably has never drunk in his life.
His liver is probably got the worst health of any human being.
My lungs ain't shit.
I keep my lungs.
They ain't good for nobody, but I bet my liver good.
Have you said this before that you have the immune system of the other Indians?
No, you said that.
I said maybe that I'm going to get a bit of a drink.
Yeah, you got the other Indians.
Akash stays getting sick, bro.
Yeah.
Always sick.
No, that's right.
So your liver, you got to keep it.
When I go to your house, I don't take blankets.
I just sleep on a couch.
I had a bit in fucking in fucking the Toronto show, man.
Yeah.
It was, it was a little wild.
I don't know.
We're releasing it for the inside joke shit.
Maybe I shouldn't talk about it.
You guys can see it on the inside jokes.
You'll see it on the clip.
Man, Indians came through and Bram LaDesh represented.
I had Bram LeDesh out there for sure.
We'll get to that in a minute, but I want to talk about OG Smurf and how fucking dope it is that like what we've created in a community that we're all part of did like literally everybody listening to this right now.
This is nuts, right?
Yeah.
There are people they sign up to be on these lists in the hospitals, right?
Yeah.
For years waiting for an organ to save their lives, right?
They're on dialysis and shit for years.
John Q is about this entire thing.
Is John Q a patron?
He good.
So basically you have this situation where most people in the world that need these organs, they end up fucking dying because they don't get them, right?
And everybody listening to this podcast right now, you got another liver out there.
You got maybe a few hundred.
How fucking unbelievable is that?
All right, don't get carried away.
Because you're going to have a bunch of niggas drinking wild crazy like as long as they pay their $5 a month to the picture.
You'll get you a liver.
Casino Odds and Coins00:10:29
You know what I mean?
You cancel that membership.
You might be canceling your life.
It's up to you, dog.
That's not even in the captain privileges.
Yo, from now on, if you want body parts, you got to be at least a lieutenant.
He was a captain.
He got a dump of the price.
OG smart as a captain.
OG Smart is a captain.
That's why he deserves all that shit.
Don't be out here with the infantry talking about I need a heart.
I need $25.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could get a pinky toe.
Yo, infantry could get a pinky toe out here.
You get cuticles out this bitch.
So real talk.
I thought it was an absolutely amazing feat that we were capable of.
And like, whoa, so cool.
So keep us posted about your cousin.
Let's make sure everything's good.
And if anybody else needs some shit, obviously, you know where to look, man.
Wow, that's good.
Come to family, bro.
Come to the flagrant black market.
You ready to go?
No, real talk.
We need to start that shit next.
Yo, we need to start doing that.
We should like sponsor some hub.
Yo, who trying to get, we're trying to get bitcoins on this bitch.
Find us some Bitcoins out here.
Yeah, wait.
You want to buy Bitcoin?
I'm probably going to at some point invest a little bit.
Yeah, wait till it's a drop again and then you cop it if it does.
What if somebody wants to drop?
They always drop.
But the thing is that with Bitcoin, what made me feel like it might be the real deal is when Trump tweeted about how it wasn't.
And he had a very calculated tweet.
Like clearly some people in power wrote that shit for him.
And they were like, if you look at, there's a series of tweets and it don't sound nothing like Trump.
And if you could bring them tweets up.
Trump tweets in a very like maybe like sixth, seventh grade level of English, right?
It's just like you're giving them way too much.
Fair.
But this shit was kind of elaborate and he had a specific point and he was coming right at the Bitcoins.
This is the shit right here.
Yeah, look at this.
Similarly, Trump ain't saying similarly ever.
What I was about to say, that's double cousin.
I'm not a fan of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, which are not money and whose value is highly volatile and based on thin air.
Unregulated crypto assets can facilitate unlawful behavior.
When would Trump ever say that sentence?
Unregulated crypto assets would facilitate unlawful behavior, including drug trade and other illegal activity.
That's not wrong, actually.
Yes.
Real quick question.
U.S. dollar also based on thin air.
We'll get to that.
But let's finish these, right?
So it's like, similarly, Facebook's Libra virtual currency, and this is where I think Trump was really going after because Facebook is starting its own digital currency.
They have their own cryptocurrency called Libra, right?
And that's where shit gets fucked up because Facebook has more people on it than the United States has people in their country.
Yes.
Right.
And if you have a currency where they could operate, right?
Everybody on Facebook could be trading money, spending money.
Not only does the dollar go down, what is the security that you'll be paying taxes on any of that money?
Right?
Like, what is the security that these goods will be exchanged?
Like, if I want to exchange goods from someone from another country, why don't I just pay you in Libra instead of U.S. dollar?
It is a dangerous, it's a potentially very dangerous thing, right?
Okay.
So, because at least when you have to exchange money, you got to go to a bank.
You got to go through Western Union.
You got to go do something.
You want to pay somebody in China?
You got to go to, you know, how easy it is to Facebook message somebody, some fucking Libra, probably.
Boom.
So, anyway, we have only one real currency in the USA, and it's stronger than ever, both dependable and reliable.
It is by far the most dominant currency anywhere in the world, and it will always stay that way.
It's called the United States dollar.
Tell me that's not a problem.
That's really creepy.
That's really creepy because it looks very copy and pasted.
And this looks like somebody who said that out of being afraid.
Like, oh, shit, this is really hard.
Not afraid.
It's being told.
Yeah.
We assume that the people with power, like the president is the most powerful person in the world.
No, absolutely not.
There are elite motherfuckers who are worth billions of dollars that influence what the president does.
Now, Trump happens to be one of these motherfuckers, so he's a little less influenced than, let's say, an Obama or like a Kennedy who like, well, I guess Kennedys came from some money, but like presidents who aren't like part of that billionaire club.
Like the Bushes do what the Bushes want.
Yeah, they already billionaires.
So the real people who make the moves are the Soroses, the Koch brothers, like these motherfuckers who actually got the bread.
Yeah.
Right.
So they hit up my man and they were like, yo, dead that.
And Trump was like, yes, daddy.
Yeah.
Because everybody answers somebody at the end of the day.
And it's just, I don't even know how the fuck we got to this.
I don't know.
He said something about getting some Bitcoins.
Just let my hair be shitty.
I costed some Bitcoin.
I cost one of some Bitcoin and then we got it.
We need flagrant coins, son.
We need a currency.
Oh, yeah.
So you brought up a very good point, right?
Everybody's like, Bitcoin's not worth anything.
There's nothing back in it.
Yeah.
Right.
And you brought up the very point, which is the USA dollar.
Right.
At the end of the, you know, the U.S. dollar, right, used to be up into the 70s backed by the gold standard, right?
So you could literally trade in your dollars for gold.
Now, you can do that now because you can just go buy gold.
Right.
So I don't even see how that's that different.
But this is what I would say to you guys.
And I'm sure you've already gotten to the point of the colour.
I think the difference real quick is the values aren't tied together.
Like the value of gold can skyrocket.
Dollar stays the same.
Vice versa.
Right.
So there was a point in time where the value of the dollar was the value of gold, whatever the value of gold, and then the dollar would fluctuate that way.
Got you.
So here's what I would say about gold, right?
Why does that have any value?
That's exactly what I was going to say.
Even back then, there's another finance book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, if y'all want to read it, but I just reread it.
And that's one of the things he talks about.
Like, money used to be backed by gold.
It's more secure, I guess.
But even gold is just a value.
Money is...
The sentence is money is whatever we agree it is.
So if we agree that these cryptos are value, then it becomes something of value.
There's a great episode of South Park.
There's real quick.
There's a good point.
It is whatever we agree it is, but what helps us agree on it is the difficulty of replication, right?
It is difficult to get gold, or at least perceivably difficult.
We're like, you got to be in a river with a pan and fucking Levi's and shit.
And hopefully you find some.
And like, there's a whole Discovery Channel show, right?
It's like, this is difficult to get.
Therefore, you have a piece of, you know, you have a gold necklace.
You're like, yo, it took some white guys a long time to find this.
So it's valuable.
If we just go, straws are currency.
Anybody could get a straw anywhere.
This shit not going to have value.
So the thing with crypto is I guess they've done it so that the amount of hours it would take you to what I believe is called mine the crypto, that amount of time to actually mine it would equate to value.
Like you'd have to spend X amount of money.
There's only a finite amount, too.
I think there is, but I think you can also create more.
It's just essentially costs.
Yeah.
So the fact that it costs creates creates the value.
What were you saying?
I was saying there was an episode of South Park that goes directly to that, where like fucking aliens come to South Park and they're trying to make them join this elite planet club and they make up some fake alien cash or whatever.
And like the whole fucking county goes crazy killing each other over this fake ass alien cash.
And the aliens come down and they're like, why are you fighting each other?
This was a test.
Like this is this is nothing.
This thing is space cash or space jail.
Like we just made all this shit up and you guys gave it value and then they failed and kept them on like the shitty planets or whatever of whatever Earth was at.
But yeah, like what make what gives gold value?
It's just like, oh, this is shiny.
Let me let me give you the best example for it.
The casino.
You go up to the teller or you go up to the guy at the table and you go, hey, can I have $10,000 worth of chips?
He gives you a meaningless plastic coin that has some writing on it, right?
Right.
That if it says $500 in that coin, you guard that motherfucker with your life.
Yeah.
It is immediately instilled value.
You give that to a human being and they'll look at it and they go, oh my God, thank you for giving me $500.
Now, try to give that coin to somebody in Cambodia.
They're not going to give it a fucking.
They're not going to Caesars anytime soon.
I wonder if it would be a smart move for Vegas to have a universal poker chip currency that you can use anywhere in Vegas.
I think, correct me if I'm wrong, you could take your chips from casino to casino and they accept it because those chips, at the end of the day, are all based on dollars.
Every time you're using a chip, you're not taking money out of our pocket.
Yeah.
Yo, why the fuck?
Because chips are so easy to replicate.
Why don't people just replicate casino chips and then go into a casino and be like, yo, let me get my money.
So, a couple of people.
Well, another thing, casinos are wildly, wildly secure.
So, like, when you walk out, like, there's millions of people watching you on that shit.
Like, you won't even make it past the case.
But if you can make, he's saying you can make counterfeits, you could just go in with chips.
So, I think what I think what Kaz was getting at, which is, is, let's say you did have a counterfeit and you were caught.
Oh, yeah, they'll murder you.
It's over.
It's over.
And it used to be back in the day, you got murder, you got taken down to the room downstairs.
Now that it's all corporate, you get locked up.
And casinos got a weird thing.
I didn't even know this was true.
They're not a public space.
If they don't like you, you're banned.
Oh, wow.
They could just ban you.
I didn't know that.
Like, okay, so with Blackjack, you know, counting cards.
Yeah.
You know, that thing where like Ben Mesnerick, I think his name is.
Yeah, it was like the first hangover when homeboy Galfanakis goes into his rainman and you're still not guaranteed to win money.
It's just a system of beating the odds.
Much easier.
Yes.
And like basically find a way to calculate how many more cards worth 10 are in the deck.
And then from that, you can do better, right?
There's nothing illegal about counting cards, right?
You're not cheating.
You're not doing anything.
You can do with other people, which would potentially be something, but it's truly just learning how to beat the game.
Even then, if I don't know, I've played Blackjack without knowing anything for like 20 bucks.
I asked people, hey, you think I should hit?
They don't, the guy's not like, you're cheating.
Get the fuck out of here.
Matter of fact, if you do the wrong move, it affects him.
So it is in a lot of ways a team game.
And a lot of times, even the dealer is like not trying to tell you to hit or what, but like they won't fuck you over.
But with card counting, the exact rules.
So with card counting, you can win.
So here's the thing: you learn how to count cards.
You have a skill that is not in any way cheating.
Yep.
If the casino knows that you can count cars, they ban you from the casino.
You'll get banned from all the casinos in Vegas.
Now, imagine the NBA banned Steph Curry.
How Rich People Operate00:15:46
Yeah.
Right?
They were just like, you're too good at hitting threes.
He's gamed the system.
I practice these threes.
We don't care if you practice.
You hit too many, you're no longer in the league.
Yeah, that's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's a good point.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
It's like, I mean, I guess we love the rush of gambling, but it's so funny that these casinos basically said, listen, if we can't fuck you in the ass, you can't play.
The house always wins.
Only allowed to get fucked in the ass.
The house always wins.
That's the reason why casinos even make money.
Like they make it, like they will throw you out if you start winning.
Not only do they always win, by law, they will always win.
By casino law.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last thing before we move on, I want to say this about Bitcoin.
I don't know if this is right.
Oh, no.
Friends I have who are much smarter than me were telling me it's $600 I needed to buy, but my money was in volatile $12,000.
Okay.
And that's down from 30.
But when I think about it, everything is flat and connected with the internet.
And I don't know if it's going to be Bitcoin, but we're all just so connected now, all over the world.
The idea of one currency, it seems so fucking inevitable to me that we all just have a currency that we all exchange.
Let me show you how on point you are, Akash.
You ready?
Yeah.
This is how on point you are with what you just said.
Oh, here we go.
Right?
Yeah.
That's the currency.
You have a credit card?
That was a very heavy stump move.
That wasn't just, I'm not going to pick it up and show the numbers.
No, no, the numbers on the back side.
Okay, that's what I'm saying.
That was a very clear.
My point is right there with the Amex.
Actually, Amex sucks because outside of America.
I love Amex's fucking brand.
What they say, American Express.
Everywhere you want to be.
And then you're in Toronto and they don't take it.
And you're like, I guess I shouldn't be in this position.
It's a genius marketing space.
They're saying, nah, you don't want to go there.
For a decade.
You can't use this card.
You don't want to be there anyway.
But I like Toronto, Amex.
Man, there's other places.
For a decade, Visa's entire marketing thing was, but they don't take American Express.
They would talk about some dope-ass place, but they don't take American Express.
That was all.
And MX was just like, keep talking about us.
Being mad, jealous.
But what was that?
They had Seinfeld.
Who Visa or Amex?
Amex.
That's right.
They just go get the big people.
Move on.
We're good.
They're Nike.
Yeah, we get the rich people.
But annoying because you can't use it.
Yeah.
So, but the point is, is like, if you have a credit card, let's say a Visa, that's universal currency.
Never once did you like convert your shit when you were in.
Never needed to convert it, but there's a lot of places that are like, no, I need cash.
Oh, really?
I mean, like, you're at like a stand, you know what I mean?
Like, go to the ATM machine.
100% right.
I'm saying as we gravitate towards digital, like all over.
Oh, yeah.
Like as more and more places have that little kiosk or a little swipe thing, like if everything is this, bro, my dad used to have a joke.
You know how you have your dad jokes?
Yeah.
So my dad, one of his dad jokes was when the check comes, he goes, Do you accept cash?
It's a dad joke.
But up, right?
Because in his mind, he comes from a generation where everyone accepted cash.
I tried to get some ice cream at Van Leeuwen.
Yeah.
Very good ice cream place.
They refused cash.
A lot of places in New York.
A lot of places.
A lot of places in Williamsburg.
What's that salad spot you love?
Sweet greens.
No cash.
What?
Yeah.
Like my office in Brooklyn, all like the little vegan hipster spots, it's a very, it's almost everything on that block is cashless.
They take like Apple Pay, they take the cards with the chip, but no cash.
All the dope new restaurants where you want to be don't take cash.
Is that right?
Yeah.
So, so that's why I started using the Apple Pay more because like a lot of that shit, it's mad convenient.
And a lot of times the places that you go, they don't take cash.
Even the ATMs, like they're starting to make the ATMs with like no like card insert.
Like you literally just do the double click and then you're there.
From your phone.
Yeah, from your phone.
It's genius.
Face ID, all that shit.
Yeah, like it's, it's, there's a Bank of America right down the street from my crib.
You just run over there and do the face restaurant cash.
It's so stupid with the cashless restaurants because like the ones, the OG restaurants that stay in business, it's only cash.
Speak on it.
Places are thriving all the time because they don't pay as much taxes.
Like, oh, we only made this much today.
Explain what he's saying.
Explain what he's saying.
I think you know what I mean.
What Alex is saying is: if you only accept cash, let's say you make $10,000 in a day, you can easily tell the government, oh, I only made $4,000 today.
And how could they?
There's no way for them to miss to disprove it.
Whereas with a receipt, there's always a copy.
I could easily just not ring up a sale, take your cash, put it in my pocket.
So government doesn't know now.
Here's the thing.
And this is why shit I think is going to card.
Every one of those restaurants started using that digital software called Micros or whatever.
You know, when like you type the order into the machine.
That does a sales report.
And the sales dictate how much money you made that day.
So when the government comes and goes, oh, you only made four grand Saturday, let me see that sales report.
Why does it say it's 10 grand?
You're like, oh, they walked out on that.
That's good.
But back in the day, what did they used to do?
When you went into a diner, was there a micros?
No, it was just yelling at the dude.
Right on their little piece of paper.
So I think that's why it was easier for them to transition to just digital because they're like, I can't, I'm snitching on me if I try to keep some of the cash.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I'm not fully clear.
So yeah, so you're saying the restaurant wants to do this or the government makes them do this?
What I'm saying is the restaurant uses this program because it's easier.
It's seamless.
It's more functional.
Everything's in the system.
You can track what you're purchasing, et cetera.
You can track what is waste.
Everything's in the system.
And also, all restaurants and bars use it.
So when you have new employees, they already know what they're doing.
You don't have to retrain them to no tickets get lost.
Like go to any diner, right?
It's a dude on a microphone yelling to the guys in the kitchen, and then you wonder why when you said no cheese and it came with cheese, you're like, yeah, because the guy's just getting screamed at in his second language.
So it's a Greek guy who doesn't speak English screaming at a Mexican who also doesn't speak English.
And you're surprised there's broccoli on your fucking hamburger.
I thought you said broccoli, right?
So it's like these, there's the little shit lost.
When it's put in the computer, ain't nothing lost.
Okay.
So once it's already in the computer, that sale is registered.
Right.
You can't lie about how much you sold.
Correct.
And some of the way the taxes work, because they know the restaurants were getting slick, what they would charge you on, like for alcohol, is sales.
Right.
Okay.
They don't care how much it's not about what you bought, it's how much you sold.
Yeah.
Or no, don't.
It's taxed on how much you bought from the place.
Right.
But it doesn't matter.
Point is there's a record where there used to not be.
Yeah.
And once there's a record, motherfuckers like, I ain't playing no.
So his point is his point originally is these restaurants are stupid for doing that because they could keep all this money tax-free.
Yes.
Yeah.
I got you.
And I also think the old ones, the IRS ain't even looking at them because they've been reporting minimal sales for so long.
They're like, well, this ain't different.
That's interesting too.
But also, Alex, that's easy for a mom-and-pop restaurant.
I was about to say, the moment you're sweet green, and you got 50 locations, and you more are coming and coming and coming.
You can't just be like, hey, fuck credit card.
We're cash only.
Yeah, you're right.
And there's always human error as well, too.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you're always like stealing.
Yeah.
That's when it gets really fucked up.
It's harder to steal from your restaurant when you got everything locked.
I remember I dated a bartender.
She showed me how she steals.
The whole thing.
They fucking, they get a lot.
God damn.
I would say they probably pocket at least 50% of everything they ring.
Especially if it's cash.
This is like almost all bartenders.
And you're still an animal if you don't tip on a beer purchase.
No, but outside the tip, what they'll do is you'll ask for a Bloody Mary with like a special vodka.
They'll just bring in Bloody Mary, but they're going to charge you for that gray goose.
Yeah.
Right.
So now that $10 Bloody Mary, you got charged $25.
Right.
Where's that $15 go?
That's my pocket.
Yo, but I'll be honest, there is value in being in being truthful because my parents' business, my dad was always like an honest motherfucker when it comes to stuff.
He believes in paying the taxes you should pay.
Like, I could have start my, like, I incorporated my business, right, in New York.
I remember this.
Everybody in, yeah, everybody in New York that has a business incorporates in Delaware because it's cheap.
There's no business tax or something.
They're incredibly friendly toward corporations.
It's like that's where you should incorporate.
They're like the Bahamas, but in America.
Yeah, the Swedish.
I was about to say, I like Swiss business.
You can go to Delaware, right?
Because they got no business or nothing in Delaware.
So they're like, fuck it.
We'll just be a tax haven.
And my dad goes to me, well, where do you do business?
And I go, well, in New York.
He goes, well, then you should go to New York.
But yeah, but they're going to charge way more.
And it's like, he goes, but where do you do business?
So I got to do it, right?
This is what happens.
My parents have this business, you know, dance lessons, teaching dance lessons, and they took a lot of cash.
Some people back in the day would just pay cash for it.
But they paid their fucking taxes.
My dad was an honest dude.
9-11 happens.
Every business downtown is decimated.
All these restaurants destroyed.
Nobody's going downtown.
People also don't have to do it.
Terrified and shit.
And also they lost their jobs.
So many people.
So they don't have the extra money.
Everybody's being tight.
So the government was giving out bonds.
And the bonds were based on how much revenue you brought in.
So if you were doing a good business.
So my parents were honest.
They reported all their revenue.
Exactly.
So then when they asked for the bond, the government was like, okay, well, yeah, you made this.
Here you go.
So many businesses were like, well, can we have some money to run?
And they're like, well, how much money did you make last year?
And they're like, oh, barely any because they lied on their phone.
And they made 100, but they only reported 30.
So they got $30,000 worth of bonds now.
And that's the only thing that kept my parents' business afloat.
No shit.
Isn't that fucking crazy?
That's crazy.
He's better than me.
I'm lying.
I mean, I ain't got to say nothing that's going to get me incriminated, but yes, I understand why certain people do certain things.
And I'm going to just keep it at that.
So here we have a go-go.
Last thing I'm going to say: if you want to check out this book, the thing that I took from it, even when I was 19 when I read it the first time, but the thing I took from it is this idea that taxes are to punish the rich.
Rich people make the tax laws.
They will always put in loopholes that they can get around.
And if they're not necessarily written there, they'll find a way around it.
Every rich person you know is cheating in his taxes.
Matter of fact, your boy on the podcast.
What was his name, James?
Altucker.
That's all he was saying.
The richest people don't pay no fucking taxes.
Yeah, you guys listen.
There's a great podcast I did an interview with Altoucher, and he explains really how rich people operate without paying any tax.
That's all I've been trying to figure out in the past five, six months.
Here it is, ready?
Yeah.
And again, this is super leveled up.
This is not where we are.
We can't do this, but this is when you're, if you're, you know, but this lets you know right and then find the legal loopholes.
Yeah, exactly.
So this is what they've created, right?
So what they'll do is this: they'll have a publicly shared company like Berkshire Hathaway is for Warren Buffett.
Okay.
Right.
And he'll work for that company and he'll get a salary of $1 because all of his salary is stock options.
All of the stock in which he owns, I believe, or something.
It makes it seem like it's so altruistic.
Right, right.
Oh, we'll get into that later.
Yeah.
I was wondering why people do that.
So check it.
So what happens is this.
They make no money, but you need money to operate.
So what do you do if you need money to operate?
You take a loan against those shares.
Now, if you guys know anything about loans, you don't pay tax on loans because that's not income.
So now you have this money to operate and you don't have to pay taxes on it.
Now, if you want to pay that back, you can pay that back in shares.
So you can be like, hey, here's X amount of shares to my company to pay back the millions of dollars that I borrowed from you.
Now you've just got millions of dollars cash and paid $0 to the government.
They've created an economy that exists outside of our economy.
This is how rich people operate.
Listen to the whole interview if you want.
It's truly fascinating.
I'm definitely going to listen to it because I've just been fascinated on how, you know, just being around like these like super rich motherfuckers and trying to figure out how the fuck they find these loopholes.
I called my business manager.
I asked if I could have, I could make my company a publicly shared company so we could do this.
And he almost hung up on me.
He was like, you're not Warren Buffett fan.
No, motherfucker.
God damn it.
We could have like five shares.
But there's a little shit that's legal that you can do that you should look into.
Just learning money is so fucking valuable.
Yeah.
You have a corporation, you write shit off.
Like you should be incorporated.
Yeah.
No, I am incorporated.
Yeah.
Boom.
So there you go.
You're writing off your meals.
You're writing off all of it.
Every single thing that, you know, for traveling, for like Nike stuff, for like WWE stuff, like any type of fucking shit that I get to work with other companies that goes through pay editing for revolt shit that comes through my LLC.
There you go.
If you get into it.
Is there a difference between LLC and incorporation?
Yep.
So LLC is a limited liability corporation.
And I have something that's called an S-Corp.
There's also C-Corps.
And I'd be lying to you if I could tell you the exact details, but each one is a different level of incorporation.
And the LLC, I would say, is like the beginning level of it.
And there are certain benefits for an LLC, certain benefits for a C-Corp, certain benefits for an S-Corp.
And I think as you kind of level up, you change within that.
And I'm sure there's something completely different when you have a publicly traded company.
I'm sure that's probably outside of corporations.
My understanding is a C Corp.
Oh, yeah, you know tax law.
No, a little bit.
No, very little.
I have a C Corp because my dad studies taxes and was like, this is what you should do now.
But I don't even know that it was right.
But like C Corp is, if it's like multinational, that's usually C Corps.
I probably should, I feel like I should have gone S Corp.
He's saying with Trump's new laws, C Corp.
Trust his ass, man.
They know it.
But find people who know money and then learn as much as you can about money.
And I remember another thing I just read is like poor and middle class people get their expenses.
They have to pay all their expenses first and then whatever's left is theirs.
Smart people, rich people with money who are incorporated pay all, they take all their money and then pay their expenses.
So when you get a paycheck from a W-2 company, you work at, I don't know, Nike, they tax you first.
Yeah.
Then whatever's left is yours.
And then you got to pay all your bills, blah, blah, blah.
And then you get a little bit left.
If you're incorporated, all this money is yours.
Anything I pay for that's expenses, that's my business meetings, that's my mortgages, that's my suits, whatever that you can write off, you write that off first.
And then whatever's left, that's the income that gets taxed.
You can probably word this more clearly than that.
No, no, what you're saying is brilliant.
Pretty spot on.
So exactly what it is, it's the difference between a tax refund and then paying taxes.
Yeah.
So the average person with a job, right?
Gets a tax refund.
Gets a tax refund.
And what that means is the government took more money than they should have taken.
Yeah.
And we get so fucking happy.
And we get happy that we get our money back.
This is how crazy it is.
The government gets a free loan on our money.
Yeah.
Right?
That means you pay throughout the year.
They're getting that money that you're giving them for free.
They can do whatever they want.
That money.
They can invest it.
They can make money on the money that you've given them.
Let's say you gave them $50,000.
They could put that in a bond, right?
Make $5,000 on it.
You get none of that $5,000, right?
They just give you the money back that you deserve because you might have paid too much.
And then you get excited that you get your money back that they already made some money.
What rich people do, if you're incorporated, is you get your whole check and the government goes, yo, April.
You got to cough it up.
But we assume you're rich and responsible.
So we're not going to take your money, but you're going to have to pay.
And that's why rich people get audited.
And poor people, you never heard of it.
Government Money Mismanagement00:02:50
You never heard of anybody in the projects getting audited.
No, never.
You know what I mean?
Like the IRS doesn't break down.
They got random on it.
I got to random audit once.
But here's the other thing.
So when you get-you might have some shit.
No, this is before.
When you get a shit, somebody's got different shit in his name.
Oh, yeah, I had a restaurant.
That's why I spelled differently.
888 numbers calling him a box.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you having some numbers.
I got some numbers.
I ain't picking up no unknown numbers.
No, no.
So when we lived together, this motherfucker had all the 800s calling him, and he would just send them shits to voicemail.
Put me on, Doug.
Facts.
It's so funny that they think calling me is going to make me do anything.
Like, get your money back.
With Caller ID, son, it's literally this.
Okay.
That's it.
That's all I got to do.
I'm going to pay me thousands of dollars.
Then I got the auto dollar.
So when you call them and you don't hear nothing for a while, and then they pick up and then you just say, yeah, my folks open a restaurant in my name shut down.
I didn't ever pay that back.
I'm not going to.
I was 22 or something.
Why would you?
And then the hospital, I have that healthcare, but I don't know if you guys have heard it, but I owed like $5,000 after insurance.
And on principle, I was like, oh, fuck yourself.
You never paid it.
And then I went broke, so God got me back.
But anyway, here's the other thing I was going to say.
What I was trying to word is: if you have a job and they take your taxes out, then whatever's left, you have to pay for all your expenses with.
I have to pay for my wardrobe.
I have to pay for my company meals, whatever the fuck, my meals.
If you are incorporated, you pay your expenses first.
All those things are written off.
Write-offs.
And those are an income.
As long as I can find a way to tie it to my business, now it's not my income.
So if I made $100,000 and $50,000 went to my expenses, I'm only getting taxed on half the money I would get taxed on normally.
And that saves me, you know, $20,000 or whatever in the long run.
Real talk.
So, incorporate guys.
Learn money if you can.
Learn money.
Get that money up.
I certainly don't know.
Yeah, that's the one thing I'd really like to be selling your livers to make money, man.
I know how y'all do.
Buy some fucking bonds.
But that's real shit, man.
That shit that they don't teach you in fucking college or even younger than that, though.
So if you can, if you get some money, make sure you learn that shit.
Hey, real talk.
If you don't want to learn money, maybe you don't deserve the money.
Facts.
That's the biggest fact.
Some motherfuckers, that's how, you know, broke.
ESPN 30 for 30.
Like, the worst thing about that is that you give a bunch of 19-year-olds millions of dollars for the first time.
They don't know what the fuck to do with that shit, and that's why they go broke.
Yeah.
No, it's a lot.
Yeah.
I mean, still, I think I'd be able to manage.
I think 30-something-year-old would be all right.
No, but it's like we always do that.
Be like, he's only 19 years old.
How could he possibly have that much money?
It's like, I can figure that out.
Well, you've had different circumstances, man.
Like, your parents owned the business.
Like, your parents knew some shit.
My parents were financially a little bit.
Same.
Like, when I was younger, I blew so much money.
Yeah, but you didn't have millions, fam.
Young Athletes Go Broke00:03:34
Not.
But I mean, for my age, I was doing relatively well because I was selling drugs and I had a decent job.
And I didn't have to do it.
That's hysterical.
You sold drugs and had a stand-up job.
I had like fast money coming in and it was just like, oh, bottle service.
See, I've never done bottle service.
That was the most corny shit to me.
You won't say what you used to do before the podcast, which is a stand-up job that's respectable.
But you will say that you used to sell drugs.
Because back in the day, everybody said, why would you feel afraid to say what you were supposed to do?
Because then when I say bad things that I did while I was on the job, it's almost putting those people who are currently doing those things.
Yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Okay, so Alex always got a rationale that's sound.
Yeah, it is pretty good.
Dude, I didn't realize how good Alex was at white shit until this week recently.
Yeah.
This guy is archery?
Son.
You were doing nice.
Okay, we did two things.
He's seen to get us the bowl before this.
I know, though.
I knew that something was up.
And then I saw your story, I was like, oh, he's been bowling.
Like, out of nowhere, we got a group text like, yo, what we should do for content is all go bowling and have a competition about it.
I didn't even respond the first day.
I was like, I did this shit, bro.
I knew exactly what it was.
And then I go to his story, and he's bowling a strike like mad mice.
He got his leg kicked to the side like the reverse.
So the phone was on point.
Fred Flintstone released.
Sam, this shit was incredible.
So we're in Toronto, right?
And we were doing some shit for dropping in.
And we went to this thing that's called a rage room.
Do you know what that is?
Yeah, I saw your idea.
Your fashion's fashion.
That's all I know.
So, so, shout out to fashion.
So, boom.
The rage room literally is, it's like you just break shit.
They give you bats and fucking bars.
There's like TVs in there.
There's VCRs.
There's bottles.
There's everything you can imagine.
Shout out to Desus.
This is Pete Kalkaskidi.
Yeah.
Super Pete.
Yeah.
We were saying that's how Canadians can be nice, is like they have a place for all their rage, right?
Go and fuck shit up.
So we go in there.
Alex is doing fine in the rage room.
Not exceptional, but fine.
But before we leave, Alex goes to me.
He goes, he goes, hey, bro, do you want to do that?
And he points to this thing with bow and arrows.
And I'm like, what's that?
And he goes, it's like bow and arrows, but like, he goes, it's a dodgeball with bow and arrows.
Should we do that?
But what?
Bro, it's you're dodging the arrows?
Yeah.
Spam.
You get a bow, you get an arrow.
At the end of the arrow, there's like a tennis ball-sized tip.
Okay.
But it's cushioned.
Is it like foamy?
Foamy?
Yeah, like super foamy nerf.
Imagine like a nerf ending.
Okay.
You get the real bow and arrow.
There's a whole big course like on some paintball ship.
Not too big, but like the size of like fucking shit.
Elementary school basketball, right?
Elementary school gym.
Okay.
So what happens?
They put all the arrows in the middle.
There's a place where nobody can be shot in the middle.
And then there's two sides with a couple things blocking it.
Bro, they got rubber machetes that you could throw at each other, rubber bottles, everything.
It was two-on-two.
And, bro, we played this fucking bow and arrow shit.
Alex was hunger games in it out there, bro.
Real life catness, dog.
This guy was fucking like he was shooting like the black guys shoot guns, bro.
Like, he had his bow and arrow tilted.
You know what I mean?
It was unbelievable.
Out of like hidden shrubbery, like fucking hawkeyes.
Yes.
Bro, he had one position.
He had all his shit in the one position.
He was like, time it, black guy.
But it's like, bro, it was unbelievable, dude.
Real Life Hunger Games00:05:20
Dude, it was unbelievable.
Something came out.
I was like, I was fucking yelling at Market show.
He was mad competitive.
He was like, I got you.
Yo, we had Mark.
Mark as a little kid.
He was doing that little kid shit where you front like you didn't get hit.
You know what I mean?
Like, he touched me.
Bro, Alex was getting heated.
It touched you, motherfucker.
I hit you with that shit.
Stop playing.
Oh, my God.
I was just chilling in the back, trying to dodge shit.
I could barely shoot the shit.
What's the great team?
Is you and Alex?
Me and Al versus Marlon and Mark.
Okay.
Marlon, good, funny kid.
You guys probably know him on Twitter.
His name is Dad Dude McFly.
Oh, yeah, he's funny.
Very funny.
He's like him.
So he pulled up to the Toronto man.
And shout out to everybody who came out to Toronto shows, man.
That's crazy.
That was wide my career, man.
That was so crazy, bro.
I deserve that, man.
That was dope.
Thank you, man.
But that was so fucking surreal, man.
It was an awesome, awesome time in Toronto.
Toronto's held me down more than any city in the world.
Maybe New York.
Obviously, that's home, so it's hard to compare.
But y'all have been close to New York.
I think Toronto's bigger than New York.
It might be bigger than New York.
Yo, New York, y'all gotta come out, bro.
November 22nd, but man, it was such a fucking special experience, man.
Thank y'all so much for coming out, dude.
It was just so surreal, man.
I still don't even, I've been trying to put in words.
I haven't even.
I was watching that video while I was at, while I was in Georgia, and just like the fucking ovation, like the line around the door, the fucking ovation.
I was just like, this shit looks like a comedy special.
Dude, like, it was crazy.
It was dope, man.
It was good to see, man.
I was happy to see that.
That was the first time where, like, there's been times after shows where like people stood up, you know, like, but I'd be so embarrassed, I'd just walk off stage real quick.
Like, I didn't want to feel like I was waiting for motherfuckers to stand, so I'd be like, oh, thank you so much.
And then I'd leave.
This is the first time where both shows motherfuckers shot up.
And like, just to like, oh, man, bro, that's a crazy experience, bro.
Earned.
All of it earned.
Anybody who knows Andrew knows this shit is earned.
Every bit of it is this guy just maniacally working.
Bro, craziest person I know working.
Man, it was so fucking, you know what's so cool about it is like to just be there knowing that, like everybody there told somebody else right, like like the, a group text or a group email yeah, is what made my career.
It was all viral right, it's like word of mouth grassroots, literally word of mouth.
It's like that.
That's why, if you hate on me, you're a hater bro because, like you, a real hater.
If you hate on me because i'm not here because of me, i'm here because people are like yo.
You probably like them.
Yeah, you probably like.
Even this podcast is like yo.
You probably like this, you would like this, you listen to this.
It's like you got no ads, you got no magazine write-ups.
You know no company, nothing really see you doing.
Like press runs with like a publicist and shit.
Like it's the people yeah, like if every fucking year, my agent or somebody like yo should we get a publicist for this.
I'm like for what the publicist is.
You put out the content and if people with you, they're the best publicists.
Man, it's like there's unique people, even people listening right now.
There's like a subset of people I know that listen to every podcast right, everything we do, and they're the influencers, they're the people that will take an episode and share it with 10 people right, or post it up on reddit or a world star or World Star, like there's groups and I feel like.
I feel like in a weird way maybe, and maybe it's just us, but like the reason why we've been so impactful, this and brilliant idiots and just the stand-up clips is like the people that we've, you know, gravitated towards.
They're the people that celebrate us the most.
Yeah and yeah man, like there's something different about like you know, when I first got into this whole like game, the first thing somebody told me was, make sure you're of the people, not of the industry.
Oh yeah, because the industry could turn on you fast.
But if you got like people and they do, they do and they do.
But if you got people that legitimately with you, they will support you through thick and thin, like through the good times and the bad, and you'll always be straight if the people with you.
So man, it's good to see that bro, it really is.
It really is.
That's how you have a career man.
People give you the career.
People don't.
I mean, it's like.
I think these sometimes industry, they just don't understand it.
It's like the people are a wave bro.
It's like you gotta ride it or get out the way.
Yeah, the people are a wave man.
I mean, you experience it al, did you feel it like?
You remember?
I didn't even know how big the venue was.
I was like oh, we go to the Rato, this is gonna be cool.
And then he told me the size of the venue and then it was back to back, sold out, like after the second show.
Something hit me, almost dropped a tear with thus, but it was just like just the amount of love and that many people like we were just there last year and it was maybe a third of the size.
Yeah, we did.
I mean, this was like that's only the beginning man, it's only the beginning.
I feel like everybody, everybody that's been a part of this, the growth of this podcast, is really starting to like hit their stride, you know.
I mean Like even, you know, like I was like, I'm watching your shit like as I'm in at the peace jam, fucking like John Calapari sitting next to me with fucking like Jawan Howard, Patrick Ewing, Penny Hardaway, like the top coaches in the country that I'm calling.
And I'm not no comedy guy, but like there's guys that listen to the podcast coming up to me going like this, like while I'm doing the fucking the Nike shit.
Kaepernick Guilt Trip00:05:17
I'm just like, yo, this shit is fucking crazy, bro.
And then I'm looking at my Instagram story and I'm seeing like the fucking venue and like doing all that shit.
I'm just like, yo, right now is like a very fucking special time for everybody, man.
So like it was really fucking this weekend was like really special for like this whole shebang.
World star.
It's a way, bro.
Yeah, that clip hit world star, man, the Sylvia clip.
Shout out to Sylvia Sage, man.
I had to spend two days in the doghouse, but it was worth it for the story he was upset or what?
For what?
You didn't do anything.
I didn't.
I know you were just throwing the oops.
I was told, that's what I'm saying.
She's like, yeah, why do you always got to have porn sauce at the show?
I'm like.
Because that's just slack.
That's good content.
You never asked me why we always got to have heat.
Why we always got to have a roof?
Why do we always got to have an apartment?
What you mean?
That's why.
Because we got porn sauce out here getting them clicks, bro.
Son, you know how many people?
You got the fucking clicks.
Their lives were made when they found out all they had to do was get $1,200 to fuck that favorite porn star.
What the hell?
Yo, people were going crazy, my DMs.
They were like, fam, did she really say $1,200 or $12,000?
Bro.
It became so attainable.
Son, I think.
Somebody from ESPN.
Son, supply and demand.
She got flooded with supply right now.
Demand right now.
Facts.
I mean, somebody from ESPN, I'm not going to mention their name, came up to me and was like, $1,200 seemed kind of low.
Damn, man.
Hold up.
Wait, real quick.
You better mention that fucking name on the Patreon.
I'll tell you that shit.
Amin' said that?
Not me, wasn't out there, but I was like, White ESPN, the black ESPN.
Whiteies fan.
Whiteies.
This is interesting now.
What?
Jacoby?
I'm not going to say it now.
Patreon.
Patreon, I got you.
That's Jacoby.
Shout out to Jacob.
He's picked a white guy with a black name.
I see what you did.
That's the only white guy's name on ESPN.
I know.
Scott Van Pelt.
Scott Van Pelt.
Keith Oberman.
What the fuck is Keith Oberman?
Kay Oberman.
KO is my guy.
Always guilting people and adopting dogs and shit.
Is that what he does?
You ever follow him on Twitter?
No.
That shit is a fucking guilt trip, bro.
Keith Oberman.
Bro, follow Keith Oberman on Twitter.
His entire timeline, if it's not highlights or like politics shit, it's just like stories about adopting dogs.
And like, boom.
As soon as you click over there, right, he has a whole story on either one.
Keep going scrolling.
You're not even a fuck about a missing cat.
You got to read the tweet because he will absolutely guilt trip the fuck out of you.
They have a new baby that's after 10 minutes cookie is suddenly aggressive and may die tomorrow.
They say she growls and resources guards, yada, yada, yada.
And then they give you a link and all that shit to go and adopt the dog.
And he does this literally every single day.
He's just bored.
This is what white women do.
I'm saying this is boring.
I respect it though, because I'm off.
He's a dude.
He has nothing to do.
And he needs a purpose in his life because he no longer got his show.
Yeah.
Right?
He no longer has to do.
But he still does sports center for here and there.
I thought Oberman's gone.
I thought he still does like the big sports.
I thought he got fired.
No, that was a minute ago.
They brought him back.
They did?
He had his own show, his own little politics show for a while.
Then they brought him back to ESPN.
I'm not gonna lie.
He had bars or whoever was writing for him had bars.
Facts.
Yeah, yeah.
He would have born.
And then he got so angry and so political.
It's like, fam, we don't want that.
It's sports, bro.
Tell me who hit the home run, who dunked it.
It's such a weird transition to think you can go from ESPN to politics.
Yeah, it's like, what the fuck?
What's his face did that, though?
What's his name?
Craig Kilbourne?
Remember Craig Kilbourne?
Was he on ESPN?
He was on the ESPN, then Daily Show, but Daily Show was still comedy.
Satirical.
Yeah, it wasn't like real news.
Their slogan was when news breaks, we'll fix it.
And then Stewart came and knocked it out of the fucking park, took it to a new level.
So even that, he struggled with a little bit, but like, I don't know, bro.
I still remember him being like the asshole from, was it Knocked Up?
Was it Knocked Up before the overall?
No, Old school.
Old school, old school.
That's what it was.
My fault.
All those movies just blend together.
That was a movie slat, man.
Old school wedding crashers.
Let white dudes back into comedy.
I'm not that from a flagrant thought.
We could give some of the trans comedies to white dudes.
I'm not that for a flagrant thought of the day.
Yeah, what's our flagrant thought of the week?
That's mine.
My flagrant thought of the week.
I've been had it.
Man.
Okay, go.
Two summers ago, I'm so glad we got over how hard it was to pretend to not watch football.
Like when the Kaepernick shit was happening, that I had to pretend that I didn't love football for two.
That shit fucking sucked, dog.
I'm like, because I'm feeding so hard.
Like, I'm watching training camps and shit.
I'm watching Sam Darnold and like Le Vion Bell get into it.
And I'm like, I'm not like a football junkie like I'm a basketball junkie, but I'm just like, this is better than fucking baseball.
And God, how fucking miserable was I two years ago when, you know, I love Kaepernick to death and all that, but I was like, fuck, I gotta pretend I don't love this shit.
People got fucking smashed.
He settled.
So I settled.
He settled for Channel 4.
But yeah, no, I'm glad all of us is.
I'll settle into this couch and watch six hours of football every Sunday.
How about that?
I'm glad we all got past that, though.
That was dark time.
Hey, you sat in it.
I'll walk right past that.
I'm serious.
Oh, he's kneeling.
Let me walk by him so I can get to a TV and watch him walk.
I mean, I respect this.
Toronto Culture Identity00:03:43
You know, I clearly.
I five him on the way.
God damn.
The whole time, I'm like, there's got to be a better way, Kaepernick.
God damn it.
What the fuck am I going to do on Sunday?
Watch big little lies?
But fuck that.
Like, that show was awful, dog.
What the fuck?
That show's pretty good, though.
Is that show about Mikey supporting Colin Kaepernick?
Oh, man.
Fuck him, though.
So football's coming back.
Yeah, I watched Jerry Jones' grandson play over the weekend.
What's my, oh, yeah, flagrant thought of the week.
Oh, wait a minute, I got one.
Okay, go.
You go, and then I'll come back tomorrow.
I got to cop a few please before this one goes.
Oh, a little harsh.
So I love black women.
Oh, dog.
Stop.
Where are we going?
Where are you going?
If you got a premise of, yo, I love black.
No, that's right.
I got to copy it.
Please, Daddy.
Let me help you, Alex.
Dad, stop it.
You're going to let him get through this.
You're not going to woke ourselves out of this fun.
This is good.
This is good.
Go, go.
Kevin, you go sleep for this time right here.
I love my beautiful.
This is a black queen with you, Alex.
I love my queens.
So, and this doesn't pertain to any West Indian women.
Okay.
Toronto white women dance better than American.
Oh, no.
Hold on.
Let me just, because y'all might have spoken over that a little bit.
What Alex said was that Toronto white women, white women in Toronto, and he has a great argument for this.
He told me this argument.
Toronto white women dance better than American black women.
Now, I think you have to be a little bit more specific with what you're saying.
So American black.
No, no, no, no.
But they dance better to what?
Oh, to reggae.
There it is.
Whining.
Toronto.
They can whine.
Toronto white women dance better to reggae than American black women.
Now, make your argument because he said this at first.
That makes sense.
And I was like, man, what the fuck are you even talking about?
And then he made an argument that I thought was very good.
Go.
Okay.
So out here, you have all the choices of music.
We're super diverse.
This is in America.
So not all black women grow up in like reggae culture and experience that shit.
Every single white woman in Toronto is experienced to reggae early in parties and they learn how to dance very early.
West Indian culture got a big impact in Toronto.
So it's massive in that.
In Toronto, right?
Or in Canada, we should say.
They don't have black people.
They have people from the West Indies, people from Africa, people from England, same way.
Right?
So it's like everybody there has brought their culture.
The sense of cultural identity in Toronto.
Right.
So America has black people.
Toronto has Jamaicans, Trinidadians, et cetera.
So the music and the culture that exists in Toronto, and often why this is why Drake gets clowned.
We were talking about that, Drake's.
When he speaks Patswater.
Why are you speaking Patswater?
And it's like, because that's the culture in Toronto.
It's so different than, like, I don't know, you don't experience as a black dude, but like, you know, I've dated girls that don't know anything about New York, and they're like, why do you talk black?
What do you want to be black?
And it's like, they don't realize this is how we talk in New York, right?
So his argument was that's the type of dancing that they did because the reggae permeated the Toronto culture.
So these white girls are dancing at, you know, fucking middle school proms, all this kind of stuff.
You see that?
Whereas black chicks in America, they might not be able to do it.
Back in making TV dashes.
Which is still a skill, which is like their type of culture.
It's only a more important skill, honestly.
So you got to see some whining.
Twerking Pain Limits00:02:48
Let me show you.
I love me some whining.
Look at white women whining.
No, It's a lot more sensual than a straight-up twerk.
That's like a twerking.
That's the only dancing I do.
Yeah.
Because I'm whining?
Let me see you wine.
No, no, no.
I mean, like, witches.
Like, you went on with behind me.
Yeah, you know.
Yo, let me see you whine.
Most American women, it's just a traditional twerk where you break a sweat.
I'm out there with that.
And they're trying to see how fast you can go.
But a wine is a lot more sensual.
It's a lot about proximity and closeness and like rhythm to the body.
Whereas twerking is just like assassins.
Yeah.
Like, I don't even like when bitches twerk on me.
I mean, it's, it's like, you can do that.
Do it alone.
And then put this up that I'm setting.
Go on, keep going.
It hurts sometimes, though.
I've.
There's certain women when they, when you ever get into like a girl trying to like, twerk on you really fucking hard, to the point of like pain.
Yeah, i'm like this isn't fun for me, like it's it's fun for you, i'll stand here and and and be the human statue.
But it's just not.
It hurts what when they twerk on you sometimes, because like they'll get like ball, like they'll get all ball on on one good twerk.
Now what?
And you're just not enjoying it anymore.
Now it's just pain.
Man load management question, like Kawaii, will you, will you?
When do you get hard when girls dance on your dick?
Um nah depends, depends.
I mean like, don't press, i've been dancing, you know, i've been dancing at parties like this since I was in, like the, the fourth grade, so you'll not get hard when they're dancing on your dick.
No okay, okay.
So I don't, I don't relate to that sometimes though, sometimes I mean, if I, if I want to, if they're pushing it up on me like that, I get hard, and then I have to decide whether I keep it hard, pointing down but that's, or do I flip it up and put it on my belly and then they're like, and then they're like rubbing against belt buckle and it's a whole like that's how I think girls get the long, like labia and shit.
Their pussies get all fucked up is that they're rubbing their pussy against belt buckle and like jeans and shit when they're dancing as like teenagers.
I think that's how it is and it like pulls on it.
You know what I mean?
It's just like it's nagging, okay so so this is a video Little Duval posted.
I hope that you guys can get a close-up on this in some way.
There's no way.
This is fucking unreal.
Yeah, solid football.
Wait till you see what she does, and you're not even thinking about her feet.
Are we ready to go press play on this goddamn video?
I mean, This is the greatest wine twerk, whatever you want to call it, I've seen in my entire life.
Look, look, look at what she's fucking.
I mean, just the core strength.
I was about to say, like, that's just athletically impressive.
What is happening?
She's bouncing on her head.
Oh, my God.
Westbrook Offensive Skills00:15:25
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, she's in a headstand.
She's in a headstand just on her.
This is some Sercta Soleil shit.
Yes, it is.
Holy shit.
I mean, oh, my God.
And just built beautifully, is she not?
Look at that.
Where is this?
Wow.
Black men don't cheat.
Black men don't cheat.
I get it.
I get it.
Matter of fact, I'm going to look away right now.
Oh, my goodness.
End up back in the doghouse again.
So if you go back just to the beginning of it right there, Eden, go to the beginning of it.
I just have to reset it.
Yeah, watch this.
Go to the beginning, right?
Let's say her pussy was super wet and leaking.
Ready?
Just watch.
She could drink it.
Oh.
She could drink it.
She could drink her own pussy juice from that position.
That is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
That's the only thing I saw.
Or you could bust in her cream pie and then it could leak out into her own mouth.
Wow.
That's porn.
Somebody get Sylvia Sage and look at it on the real chorn.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, anyway.
So.
Her fucking forearms.
How strong they got to be this woman.
Jesus Christ.
Is a marvel.
It's a physical marvel.
She's got to throw 90 on the 90 miles per hour.
Okay, let's pull back.
Let's pull back.
Big rookie of the year.
Guys, okay, shall we talk about something that Portes?
Middle an hour later.
Let's do a sports story first, and then we'll get into it.
Yeah, the biggest sports story.
Russell Westbrook trade.
Yes.
Oh, we didn't talk about that?
No, we didn't.
That happened.
During the drive.
Can I say something?
Please.
My new favorite team.
Wow.
My new favorite team.
Is the Houston Rockets.
Your team though sucks.
The Houston Rockets.
You got horrible tastes in teams.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
What is going on here?
If I'm not allowed to watch the Knicks past February this year, which is usually the case, I will take my allegiances to the Houston Rockets.
Absolutely.
They're going to be fucking fun.
They're going to be fucking fun.
They're going to be coming out to the fucking during the NBA style hallway looking like fucking Zoolander with him and PJ Tucker.
They're going to be the best dressed team in the league.
I'm like, are you kidding me?
Like, bro, in Houston, the way that fucking crowd gets hyped up, all that ISO ball, all that go-to-hell bullshit, like, they're going to run zero plays.
Like, it's going to be the most fun, chaotic.
They're not going to win shit, obviously.
Right.
But they're going to be the most fun, chaotic basketball team I think I've ever seen.
As long as you think they're not going to win.
No, no, no.
I don't think they'll win shit.
This is going to be my favorite team to watch.
How far do they get?
I don't even know if they make playoffs, bro.
You don't think they make the playoffs?
I don't even know.
I mean, the West is good.
The West is very good.
They're going up against good teams.
They're a...
You could quote me on this.
They are a first-round exit.
Without a doubt.
First-round exit.
I'm curious what they make in the first one.
They're the textbook first-round exit team.
They'll be a great regular season team.
I think there'll be a five or four, four or five teams.
Where does Westbrook play in Mike D'Antoni's system?
I think he plays the same way that Chris Paul played.
There's going to be games that he looks great.
There's going to be games where it's like, where the fuck's Russell?
That's James Harden's team.
Like, they're not going to change what they do.
But what would you do with him, right?
You have this guy who has elite skills.
What do you do with him?
So the one thing that I think is going to help them out is that Russell Westbrook's probably the best rebounding guard ever, right?
So if you're not setting him up, a lot of the offense that comes with Russell Westbrook is get the ball and just push.
And Houston has a lot of fucking shooters, and they got a lot of rim runners.
I think that's where you see Russell Westbrook get his best.
So Russ scores in transition.
In transition.
Half court.
I don't know what the fuck you do.
I don't even know where to place him.
I don't know what the fuck is that.
Does he become the TJ Tucker in the corner?
Here's the thing.
Like, people knock Russell's jumper.
I just think he takes poor shots.
I think he just has poor slot selection.
I don't think he's a bad shooter.
I think if he's taking corner threes, I think he'll hit that at just a high a clip as any other good shooter in the league.
In a weird way, if it's a corner three, I think that's completely in Russ's range.
I think when you go out to that like foul line extended three, it might be a little far for him.
Same with Mello.
It's like Mello's a good corner three guy, but you bring him out to that real three-point line.
He just, it's out of his range.
He just can't shoot it.
So I just don't know where you play him on that team.
And I know that he's not going to be okay with just not touching the ball multiple possessions.
I mean, there was certain times.
I mean, for most of last year, he let kind of Paul George take the reins on that team.
It's just that, you know, he wasn't necessarily for Hardin.
I think Hardin will be better off the ball, but I just don't see why you changed what's been working for you with Freeman Mike D'Antonio and that's your guy.
Yeah.
Do you bring him off the bench?
Westbrook?
No.
You do not do that.
Even if that's the right thing, he won't.
And you know, he's not going to.
No.
I wish he would because he's going to have to start getting treated like Mellow if he won't.
He might be Russell Westbrook?
Dude, it's just not the right team.
I mean, you're not willing to.
You got to defer to.
He was the MVP a season ago.
You got to defer to James Harden, right?
Yeah.
Two seasons ago.
It's his team.
You got traded there.
But you're the one, honestly, you need the ball in your hands.
You're not that effective without the ball.
Right.
James Harden isn't that effective either, but he's more effective than you.
What I do think helps is I think James Harden's way better off the ball than Westbrook is.
And I think he'll be off the ball because Westbrook will be a rebound fiend and will be stealing rebounds from like Capella and I guess Tyson Chandler and those guys, whoever the fuck else they got down there.
I think if I'm Harden, I probably make myself play a little bit off the ball more.
I think you try and get that two-headed dog thing going and just have them run a little bit more because James Harden's a way better shooter than Westbrook.
He's a great catch and shooter, not a catch and shoot shooter.
And he's played it off guard before.
Like when he was in Oklahoma City, unless when he was like fresh off the bench and Durant and Westbrook are sitting down, Harden played the two guard a lot of times.
So I don't know.
I think it'll work.
I think it'll be fun, but I just don't think they're going to win.
I just don't know where Westbrook plays in DH26.
It's going to be fascinating to watch, man.
We'll see.
I mean, D'Antoni's.
Here's the thing.
D'Antoni's an offensive genius, but he's an offensive genius.
Within, no, that's without a doubt.
He changed the game of basketball.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, you could say he didn't, but like.
No, I know he changed the basketball.
It's like, no matter even your team, the Mavericks play D'Antoni's offense.
I don't, I understand he changed the game of basketball.
I think Nelson did a lot before D'Antoni.
I don't think D'Antoni, I get that he's very smart offensively, but it never really seems to translate.
And it's crazy to me that you could be such a genius and so married to a seven-man rotation, and that's why you never win and you never change.
And here's the thing.
And I'm not saying that's not a good argument because I think you do have merit, but like you got to, okay, put it this way.
If D'Antoni wins one ring, he's considered one of the best coaches in history.
Right.
Because then all of a sudden everybody's going to go, well, not only did he win, but he made it to the Western Conference finals every single year.
At the bare minimum, he made playoffs every year of his career.
Like you'll start looking at what he'd accomplished and you'd be like, wow, this is amazing.
The fact that he was gold medalists, all this shit.
Even like as a player, he was like that dude in Italy.
In Italy, well, outside of player coaching in Italy, developing the system he had to do, right?
So the issue is without that ring, we go, none of this works well enough to get the ring.
And then once he gets the ring, we're going to start going, wow, he was able to go that far with just those guys with his offensive.
So let me amend what I'm saying.
I get he's an offensive genius, but it drives me crazy to watch him refuse to develop a bench.
And every year it bites him in the ass.
Yeah.
It drives me fucking nuts.
100%.
So that's where I was.
But yeah, I get that he's offensively genius.
Sorry, continue.
And you know what?
To your point, offense is half the game, fam.
Yeah.
Very true.
Maybe being an offensive genius doesn't make you a coaching genius.
Right.
Because coaching is two sides to the ball.
Yeah.
Simple as that.
But just from the people I speak to, like all of our favorite coaches that we respect the most.
Love him, worship him.
Really, they really respect him.
They still do those seminars where he hosts and pretty much tells coaches how to run offenses.
And these are highly regarded guys.
Guys who have one championships.
Orange County.
They still go to the business.
Every year, all the coaches in the league, they go watch him talk and listen to him talk about offense.
Why?
The guy's off.
He's the Marty Schottenheimer of the NBA.
Maybe that's true.
We just know you're really good at offense.
And even though you may not win, we still want to know if I take some of your offense and apply it to what I do on my team.
Yep.
Then maybe we'll be all right.
That's how much they respect him as an offensive player coach.
I also think offenses schemes are easier to implement.
I think defense is like, I think you have to have defensive instincts.
I think a real quality defensive team requires much more cohesion, you know, to understand switching and understand coverages and how you're going to play pick and rolls and all that stuff.
Like offense is, you go there, you go there, you go there.
Yeah.
You set the pick and then you roll.
It's not crazy.
You can still have good offense if you don't make shots.
Like if I could draw up a wide open shot for somebody every single time down and they don't make the shot, nobody's like, everybody's like, you got to hit those shots.
But we got the shot we wanted.
You got the shot you wanted.
That's the term.
Defense, I think, also requires emphasis.
You got to emphasize defense more.
And I think Dan Tony emphasizes it seems like offense more.
Yeah, in his mind, he's like, I'll go bucket for bucket with you.
Yeah.
He thinks no different than like Kyrie does.
Yeah.
Like Kyrie's whole thinking is, okay, you scored on me, but I'll go get two.
He's the mellow of coaches.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, for real.
Yeah, brilliant.
In a lot of ways.
Yeah, it's like brilliant at offense.
You know, doesn't really care about defense and doesn't win.
Yeah.
You know, but like, yeah.
So I guess, you know, I guess we'll see what happens with that.
I'm just curious to see if he even wants Westbrook on the team.
That's another thing.
He's on a one-year deal.
He decided not to renegotiate the deal.
Oh, Dan Tony?
Yeah, he's like, he goes, this is the last year.
And he's like, well, we'll figure it out afterwards.
Maybe they figure it out during the season.
But I like that.
If you want to re-sign these guys that I don't like, I don't want to coach here.
What the fuck's your point?
Do you think Harden and Westbrook argue over the ball time?
Nah.
Harden and Westbrook are like this, bro.
That's what I heard.
I know that Hardin and Westbrook are pretty close.
They've known each other different when you're playing together.
He's not resting.
When you used to putting up numbers.
He's not really.
They're both different players than they were when they played together.
Continue.
I think it was Zach Lowe I read talked about this, but like they both have become very ball dominant since KD left and since Hardin left.
100%.
But I think what Alex is saying is that as best buddies as you could be off the court, when you're on the court, that personality is a lot of fun.
Sorry, an extension of that.
They're close because they were close in OKC.
Harden seemed like the guy that they grew up together.
Yeah, they played ball together.
They both played ball together.
And they're both for LA.
That makes sense.
And then they're both in OKC playing together.
So they've made it through all that.
That's another thing they're both.
I'll just say gang tie.
Critch.
They're all at Nipsey's funeral sitting next to each other.
It's difficult for them to put on that Houston Red.
Gotcha.
Didn't, yeah, I remember you telling me that and I forgot.
But anyway, yeah, I think they'll be fine for that.
They should have played for the Clippers, bro, and just do that one LA Cripper.
Did you see what Cron Butler tweeted over the weekend?
He said what they should do this year to honor Nipsey and Gang Unity.
Think like somebody mocked up like a Crenshaw Lakers drink.
Oh, I thought that was real.
Nah, it was like somebody just mocked it up and it just went viral.
And they were like, could you imagine if they have a game at the Englewood fucking forum and have like the Lakers and the Clippers one team with Crenshaw?
Yeah, and like they bring out all the fucking unity, all that shit and do it for Nipsey, whatever.
I'm like, we'll never do that, but like, that's a nice thing.
I'm like, oh, I don't know if they're going to go that far.
Like, they love Nipsey in the NBA, but you know, it'd be nice to see it, but I wouldn't.
But what were you saying, Donka?
They're just both.
I think I was saying now they're both so ball dominant that as close as they were, even in OKC, playing together.
It's going to be different now.
And I think it's going to be the Miami Heat the first year, where it's a lot of like, I defer to you, you defer to me.
We don't really know because neither one of us wants to.
I think it'll be the opposite.
I think they were way too polite, Miami.
I think it was way different.
I think that was the issue.
I think yours or is it mine?
I don't think Hardin and Westbrook have that at all.
I think Westbrook's like, I want that rock.
And Harden's like, I want that rock, too.
But what I think is.
I think it works, though.
Okay.
I don't think it works, but I don't think it works, but I think it can both handle each other better than Chris Paul.
Like, Chris Paul is annoying.
Yeah.
Right.
Because while the players in the league respect Chris Paul's ability, they don't see him as a bucket getter.
Like, nobody in the league, at the end of the day, the alphas in the league get buckets, right?
So when they see a guy who's like cute at passing, they're like, that's adorable, but that, like, you're not a real basketball player.
You know what I mean?
Like, none of these guys look at John Stockton and go, he was dominant.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, can you get buckets or can you not?
So I think they look at Chris Paul like, yeah, just set me up.
Do your little cute shit where you put your hip in, the dude's growing.
Get my man on you and then give me the ball so I can get buckets and do what men do, right?
So I forgot who's talking.
I think Kendrick Perkins said, you know, the one thing about Chris Paul that people like hate playing with him is because even coaches, he has to let everybody know that he knows the most out of everyone on the court.
Right.
And that could wear on a lot of people.
Like if you're the LA Clippers and like Blake Griffin's young and DeAndre Jordan's young and all these guys are like willing to listen to you and Doc Rivers just won the championship and he and he trusts you with all this shit.
They didn't get along at all.
Yeah.
And they didn't even get along because he always thought he knew more than Doc Rivers.
What did I tell you about Chris Paul?
I said he's the type of dude whose grandkids won't like him.
Grumpy ass.
Real talk.
He could.
He literally is that type of personality.
And, you know, I just feel like this situation with Westbrook and Hardin, there's more respect because Hardin's like, all right, I know I can't stop Westbrook.
Yeah.
Like, I know Hardin looks at Chris Paul and goes, I can stop you if I need.
Like, you're going to get your little outline extended jumper.
Like, I'll smash that.
You can't stop me.
But Westbrook and Harden look at each other like, you want to go or what?
One-on-one?
Westbrook's a force of nature, bro.
Exactly.
And so is Harden.
And so is Hardin in different ways.
Yeah.
In different ways.
Neither of them are stopping each other.
So you have to respect them.
Whereas, yeah, I just think that we kind of overrate Chris Paul's respect in the league.
I don't really think guys respect him.
Oh, I don't think they like him.
No, they don't like him.
I think it's double.
I think they don't like him.
And I think they're like, he's all right.
I mean, he's getting to that point now, though.
Because remember, and I always used to say this.
I always used to say, like, yo, give the same energy to Chris Paul that you give to Mello because they have essentially the same accolades.
Yeah.
Right.
But people kind of give point guards a little bit more, you know, leeway because they're like, oh, you're a point guard.
You must know this, this, that, and the third.
Well, Mello was just the guy with like, I'm a scorer, and that's it.
And, you know, people didn't like think he could.
Well, you can see Chris Paul making the game easier for his teammates on the court.
I just think off the court, the fact that you're unlikable has probably impacted you and the partnership.
Beyonce Fan Dynamics00:06:48
Of course.
Imagine how unlikable you got to be where when you play with that person, you undeniably play better and you still hate him.
I still hate him.
Like, think about how wildly unlike that.
This guy makes me money and I still hate him.
The old adventure.
They're going to make you five million more minimum on your next contract just by being on the team with him.
You're going to average five more points a game minimum just by him being on your team.
You're going to get all easier shots.
Everything goes up.
But he's so mind-bogglingly fucking annoying.
You know what just hit me?
You would rather him not be on the team.
You know what just hit me?
The fucking.
So the Rockets just signed Tyson Chandler, right?
Oh, yeah.
And they said, I like that move.
I like that move.
And they said he was thinking about coming back for another season, but he had to wait to see what the Rockets were going to do.
And the fact that they got rid of Chris Paul.
Oh, shit.
He got rid of Chris Paul.
That's when he was like, all right, I'll come play for the Rockets.
And they were teammates, too.
So he wore those annoying.
He's legitimately, like, you can put numbers on.
He's legitimately made him millions of dollars.
And Tyshan was like, eh, I'll wait till you get rid of this.
Did you guys see?
Now they're saying that this is bullshit, but did you guys see the press conference after the Rockets loss with Harden?
Yes.
Where he says.
They asked him, What do you think you need to do in off-season?
He goes, I know what we need to do.
And they're like, what is it?
He goes, no, we're going to talk to some people.
Now, everybody's applying that to the trade.
He's saying it's not.
He's saying it was like some administrative shit, this, that, the other.
But that is administrative shit.
That's administrative shit.
Like, Logan is like, I know what we need to do.
We need to get this bum off the team.
Right?
With no bicep definition.
Yo, Chris Paul got fat girl arms.
Like, if he goes like this, it's yo, real talk.
Like, if you look at Chris Paul's arms, they look like Beyoncé fans.
Oh, that's how the Beehive is built.
That's how the Beehive is built.
You don't even like black women, bro.
I love this.
You like your white bitches from Toronto and shit, dog.
Stop it.
Oh, my God.
Got as much facial hair as the Beehive, too.
Let's say the Barbs.
I just say the Barbs.
The Barbs.
They don't exist anymore.
Barbs straight off.
Holy shit.
Barbs is gone.
Man, remember that?
Son.
Andrew beat the Barbs.
Ain't that crazy, son?
Andrew took down the fucking barbs.
Let's go, son.
Y'all don't want this smoke.
They got tripped down by the groves out here.
That's the barbs out.
That's all the fucking subs out.
The Kens out here, son.
Running shit.
Flex on the Wrangler bitches.
The asshole army and the hot girls took him out, bro.
Real talk.
Real talk.
The real fucking hot girls, bro.
I fucking hot girls, man.
That's the Meggy Stallion.
City Girls.
I love to speak.
The City Girls versus City Boys versus the Halls.
Hot Boys versus the Hot Girls.
No, no.
City Boys versus the Hot Girls.
Nothing about this.
It's fucking brilliant.
It's just fun shit.
You got to follow Duval.
He's doing play-by-play on it.
So basically, anytime a girl fucks over about that, right?
Like, let's say kicks a dude out of her house or like, you know, makes a dude look stupid or like.
It's like hot girls up by 20.
Back to you, bro.
They get points.
They get points.
And then anytime a dude does some shit, like this dude kicked this girl out on a freeway.
She was just starting walking out the car on the freeway.
And some other dude was filming, like, oh, shit, that's 50 points for us, yo.
City boys killing it.
So they've created this like hilarious dynamic.
And even like Meg DeStallion gets on.
She's like, oh, she wouldn't?
No, she's absolutely with it.
Like, she'll tweet stuff and be like, oh, man, it's a long summer.
We're still down, but we're not out.
No, no, no, no.
Like, anytime some shit happens, and then like future tweet or some shit.
Barbs ain't even in the game, huh?
I don't really give a fuck about it.
They're in the consolation bracket.
The barbs are about as tall as those unicorns.
Beehive is at the game.
They're just at the concession stand getting fucking raisinets.
Yeah, see, I still don't know.
No, I'm not scared of the beehive, bro.
Fuck with the beehive.
I'm Beehive.
That's how I know they're in the middle.
No, You're not Beehive.
You like that?
You're a Beyonce fan.
We're Beyonce fans.
We're not fat girls with nothing to do.
Oh, my God.
Fat girls with nothing to do or beehive.
Right?
Fat girls with nothing to do, bro.
The only exercise their arms get is tweets.
That's why they look like fucking Chris Paul.
Your fat ass arms wearing a white beater.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Built like a pile of mud.
Built like the Dookie emoji.
Real talk.
That's how they built like the Dookie emoji, bro.
What they say about Thorin Endgame is they look like melted ice cream.
Real talk.
Thor and Endgame is how these fucking Beyonce girls look, bro.
I mean that 100%.
Fuel like a honeycomb.
Oh.
Built like.
Built like a honeycomb.
Real talk.
Built like fucking minions.
Despicable me-ass bitches.
Despicable bee.
Who said that shit?
They look like the Mucinex.
Eddie said that, though, right?
Didn't he say that?
Someone said, was it Mark?
Mark said it, right?
What was it about?
Because it was some girl who had like green on, just like shit.
Oh, yeah.
It was a Mucineg, son.
Bitch looked like a wisdom tooth.
I saw that one.
That shit killed me.
Somebody posted.
Who was it?
Somebody posted this dude.
It was Duval had a dude in his, what's it called?
Shorts?
In his rich broke shorts.
And he was fat up top and he had skinny legs.
Some shit goes, he looked like a wisdom tooth.
You know how the wisdom tooth got the long hair is fat as a soft song.
Oh, diet.
Oh, my God.
Bro, so fun making fun of fats.
Oh, God.
Oh, fatties.
Son, Beyonce fans.
Shout out to Beyonce, though.
We love Beyonce.
Love Beyonce.
Queen Bee.
Queen B. Hate that motherfucking Beehive.
That Beehive is some shit.
Kingdom don't deserve you, then Beehive don't deserve you.
Facts, facts, facts.
You see a Lion King this weekend, bro?
I didn't see no fucking lion coming.
I got my ticket.
See, I got my tickets.
Beyonce fans.
Exactly, bro.
God damn.
You better get there early so you beat these bitches stampeding at a fucking theaters.
Son, no, real talk.
I heard they use actual Beyonce fans to kill Mufasa.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, shit.
Oh, shit.
Nah, they did.
Like, all the extras, they were going to see Giaya, and they were like, why don't we get these fat bitches that be tweeting about Beyonce all day?
Beyonce down this hallway.
They make quite an impact in cinema.
I remember Jurassic Park won the water with his shit.
Real talk.
That was a Beyonce fan breathing.
Breathing.
Yo, that was a Beyonce fan.
She just took one deep breath.
She was like, Just the nose.
Water just shaking.
Are y'all trying to say instead of Wilde Beast of Wildebees?
Yo, the Wildebees.
I mean that shit.
Yo, we're going to get back to making fun of these Beyonce fans in a second.
But yo, we got a new sponsor, y'all.
Oh, we got a new sponsor.
We got a good sponsor.
Written Word Legitimacy00:13:17
We out here killing it.
Now, Akash, this is the beauty of when we get sponsorship is when there's organic symmetry.
Yeah.
So I was telling Akash about the new sponsor, and he goes, oh, I know them.
I already subscribed to them.
Ben subscribed.
Ben subscribed.
I was like, word?
He goes, yeah, absolutely.
I said, Akash, then take it away, my brother, because you notice.
Go for it.
It's my first time doing a read, so hopefully I don't think that's a good thing.
No, you don't got to read.
Talk from the heart.
I'll make sure I hit all those points.
The company is the athletic.
Yes.
It is a sports website.
I love the athletic.
Hey.
That's awesome.
Bro, we out of here.
Oh, thank God.
It is a sports website.
Now, you have to subscribe to it, but it is legit, good, in-depth journalism.
It's not like a bunch of shitty pieces that you read on some other websites, or like you got to pay a really high price to read the good articles.
This is a reasonably priced website that has good sports articles.
I've brought articles from the athletic to do segments here.
Oh, really?
We had one about LeBron and Kyrie and how everything split apart and like evaporated with them too.
And that was an article I read on The Athletic.
Right.
A couple dudes from the ticket, the station always listened to, write for the Dallas pages.
So like, I pick my favorite teams are the Cowboys and the Mavericks, and there's dedicated writers.
So you can follow certain teams or you can follow cities as well.
You can follow certain teams.
So, I don't have to follow the Rangers because we don't want to give a fuck about NJ.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shout out to Frankie Asolo, who writes all the Knicks stuff and the NBA stuff for them.
And I know Frank Asolo writes through the post, right?
They got Shams done.
Shams is over there.
And my boy Big Waz, who did the show together for Uninterrupted LeBron James.
He has the Count the Dings podcast with Amin and all those other guys.
That's on the athletic as well.
So I'll fuck with the athletic, man.
That's why it gets old, man.
Yeah, dude.
It is from, you know, obviously, I looked it up a little bit.
I wasn't as privy to it as you guys were.
But for me, it seems like it's more of the in-depth article.
It's not just recapping the stats.
No.
This is like a theory or an opinion or some really good articles on there.
Yeah, and it's cool.
And especially what I kind of like is when you get into this downtime of sports, the baseball time of sports.
There's actually, right?
There's more time to cook up theory.
Yeah.
Right.
I think this is when articles are actually at their best in sports for me, right?
Because now we got some time to think about something interesting about basketball.
During the season, it's like, okay, okay, do it.
But when you got a little time, it's, we're going to tell you how that offense is going to work in Houston.
We're going to tell you what the Clippers should do during mid-season, this, that, the other.
So I don't know.
It's cool.
I'm on board now, obviously, because they're a sponsor, but I love the fact that you guys knew all about it.
And it's dumb cheap with the Flagrant discount code.
Dog, subscribe to the Athletic today.
You go to theathletic.com/slash Flagrant2.
You get 40% off a yearly subscription.
Now, that comes out to $2.99 a month when you subscribe at theathletic.com slash Flagrant2.
Theathletic.com/slash Flagrant2.
All right.
Writers that you're going to hear from, obviously Shams.
Shout out to Shams.
David Aldridge, Sam Amick, Zach Harper, Ken Rosenthal, Jason Stark, Seth Davis, Pierre LeBron, Stuart Mandel, Bruce Feldman, and Jay Glazer.
I mean, coverage goes beyond game recaps.
It's smarter analysis, deep perspective about teams, the leagues.
Listen, it's everything that we just spoke about.
And if you have a team that you love, like for me, again, Maz, but especially Cowboys, the best Cowboys writer that I, like for me, period, on the athletic.
Bob Sturm.
Shouts to Bob Sturm.
Also works for you.
You're that devout in terms of like following.
So by the way, guys, before we segue away from this, it is theathletic.com slash flagrant2.
So you're that devout in terms of like following a writer and their perspective on a team?
Yeah, I mean, especially with this and like finding the topics, I try to read a bunch of sports stuff, but then sometimes that's like kind of work.
And then it's like, oh, I could read about the Cowboys.
It's just fun.
We're probably not going to talk about it.
Do you will read an article about something?
This is for you too, Kaz.
Will you read an article about something that you might not really be that interested in, but you like the writer so much that you'll be able to do it?
Oh, all the time.
Yes.
All the time.
Yeah, absolutely.
There's a few guys that I really like from Sports Illustrated.
I like Chris Mannix a lot from SI.
I think he's at Yahoo Now.
Okay.
I forgot the dudes.
Lee Jenkins, another really good writer.
He's somebody who did the LeBron letter.
Who did MJ at 50?
Wright Thompson.
He had one about Tiger.
I wasn't that interested in Tiger, and I read it and it was a fucking great article.
So there are certain guys that you believe in so much that you're like, okay, I'll give this article about baseball a try or give this article about volleyball a try because you're going to have an interesting thing.
Yeah, another guy, Don Van Nat, I was looking up his name, Don Van Nat.
Another guy writes like crazy, like in-depth pieces that are like, if you're remotely interested in the subject, just read it.
It's good.
One of my first favorite writers.
We should get one of these guys here that does like long-form pieces, not the quick shit like the guy.
Don Van Nat is a dude who writes in-depth.
Same with Wright, like in-depth.
They spent, Don Van Nat has spent a whole summer with Jerry Jones.
See, I'm curious about that process because that piece is a written documentary.
Yeah, that's what they are.
That's what they are.
It's not like, oh, we can't take a few minutes with him after the game.
It's like, no, they follow you to wherever.
It's like, oh, he had something for breakfast.
And da-da-da-da.
My man just drank Johnny Walker Blue with Jerry Jones every day for an entire season.
You got to find out, like, what makes these guys want to do that with the written word and why?
I mean, that's what I wanted to do for most of my career.
Really?
Yeah, I mean, that's what I did with like rappers.
But you also did television too.
You've produced, you know, these guys don't have a huge interest in being in front of the camera, being a celebrity.
Yeah, like, I mean, that's, you know, that was my break when I was at the source and like hip-hop wired and stash and all that shit.
Like, it was following, you know, the careers of like rappers and like some athletes.
And because the only reason why I got into the athletic stuff was because I wrote so much good shit on rappers that like they needed somebody to go cover the sports shit and they wanted to be in those like stories with like hip-hop culture as well.
So that's how that all worked out.
But yeah, like people make a great living doing that shit too, man.
Just like making those great stories when you know, I mean, it's a little harder now because it's digital.
What's the emotional motivation?
I mean, the emotional motivation is like me when I grew up, like I grew up on one of these magazines, you know, and I think the written word just kind of got a little devalued a little bit just because, you know, shit's digital now.
And, you know, I guess, and it's a different, it's a different feeling.
There's still power to the written word, man.
There's definitely power to the written word.
It's a little different when something clicks now and it goes viral and a lot of people are reading it.
But to me, it was just the fact that I could hold something in my hand and be like, I created this.
Like, that was it for me.
Like, I didn't need any more stuff.
There's something about a quote that, like, it becomes factual.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, if something is written about you, right?
And we use that excerpt.
It's like, you know, Ah, Kash Singh is a marvel of a comedian.
He is this generation's Indian voice or something like that.
It doesn't matter really where that's written.
Yeah.
The fact that it's like written in quotes, for some reason, you're like, okay, I believe that.
Why the fuck is that?
Why do we journalistic integrity, man?
Like, it's not just somebody.
We still value the words that are on paper.
I don't know.
We just believe what people tell us.
And something about seeing it.
Yeah, this is, I guess, what you're getting at, but seeing it somehow makes it more legitimate than hearing it.
Why?
I think also it's like a hard bar in rap.
Yeah.
So you'll remember a bar.
You won't remember a song.
You might not even remember who said the bar.
But you'll just remember.
Your favorite rapper's favourite rapper.
Whatever it is.
You're like, the real songs were big, no made-up shits.
Yeah.
Those are hard bars.
Hard bar.
Like to put in words together, even comics.
Like when you guys, if you just say something a little bit differently, it like can change the whole meaning.
So you're saying it's more than just the fact that it's written.
It's often that this thing that's written is just done so well.
Is done with art.
It's done with care.
Okay, I think that's true.
And there's something about these in-depth pieces that I identify with as a stand-up where like there's so many fucking bloggers out there and like soft articles that mean nothing.
And I look at them like, that's cool.
They serve a purpose.
It's like Vine videos.
That's cool.
That thing.
But then like an in-depth thing where you follow the guy for a whole summer and you write, it's like stand-up to me.
It's like, I get there's not as much room for this maybe, but like this still is art that you put something into.
I'm a journalist.
Okay, guys.
Go ahead.
When you have one of these long pieces, we're talking about like a long piece.
Right.
When you sit with that, are you consuming that in one sitting or are you knowing that you're coming back?
And I enjoy it.
I want to come back to it when I'm like bored.
I think that's why I get fucked up is because I'm in this pressure.
Yeah, I'm like, wait, do I have to finish this right now?
Maybe I have to remove myself from that expectation and treat it more like a book.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It's a mini book.
It is a mini book.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Okay.
What were you saying?
No, I mean, like, just I got a journalism degree.
Like, that was what I went to school for and all this other shit.
So when you're making a So when you're doing these long pieces, like you're essentially saying like, this is an authorized telling of this person's life.
It's almost like a small autobiography that you get from them because they're giving you the access.
They trust your word.
You've built up your reputation enough.
So, you know, fucking this rapper or this person who's very well known trusts you with this person's story.
You can't write an autobiography for everybody.
That's like a novel long.
But if you can give a small window into someone's life for that long, especially now with the advent of like social media, you can kind of see instant reaction, right?
Whereas back in the day, if you wrote like a bad story and, you know, the person that it's on didn't really fuck with it.
They just kind of had to eat it or like they'd catch you in traffic or some shit.
Like, yo, that shit that you wrote about me was fucked up, yada, yada, yada.
Now it's almost like you spent a week with Donald Trump and here's the story on it.
And Trump is like, this is a great story.
You're kind of looking at it like, all right, like this, it's almost like a cosine.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's, it's, it's weird.
I think it's weird.
Like, there's so many other things that come up.
There's other layers, especially for people listening right now that like aren't as old as us and grew up completely in the digital age, maybe they don't have the same connection to it.
But like, there was a time where there was a lot less things said.
Yes.
That's the perfect way to put it.
And where they were said was often in print.
Yeah.
And there were a handful of names that wrote about things, right?
Especially sports.
We can name the sports writers of our childhood.
Oh, yeah.
The Peter Veseys.
Yeah.
Bobby.
Woody Page.
So think about that, right?
Like, there were a handful of people.
Even skip A-list.
Skip, right?
Like, there was realistically, nationally, there was probably 10 opinions on basketball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
There was one show.
It was the sports reporters on Sunday.
Dude.
They would have all the reporters sitting in the fucking desk and they would talk about their fucking takes of the week.
So think about it.
That was pre-first take, pre-saying that a player was overrated, right?
It became truth because there was less to dispute it.
Now, one article is saying LeBron is the best ever, and the next article is saying LeBron's not even top five.
And the credibility takes a hit because everybody needs attention.
So let's just say the wildest thing, which is skips.
You didn't have to do that.
You didn't have to do that.
Because you were the attention.
And that's where the journalistic integrity was a big factor.
And it's like, why do I, I don't need to say some shit I don't believe.
Whoa.
So this fake news thing, it's not that like fake news has always existed, but it is a product of a lack of interest in news or rather a product of competition of ideas.
Oversaturation of ideas.
And it's also a product of more voices.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Oversaturation of ideas, right?
So it's like just as you increase production, quality goes down.
You know, like when you start as a clothing brand where it has one store in Soho, the shirts are made with the finest silks or whatever.
Eventually when you're in Walmart, you're down to like cotton hybrid stories.
Free birds burritos and Santa Barbara.
Santa Barbara's amazing.
And then it becomes...
It became a chain and now it's whatever.
It's whack, right?
So the same thing happens with journalism.
It's like when you have way more opinions, we have to water it down or they end up getting watered down.
So in order to spike up and get some sort of interest, you have to have the craziest idea.
That's kind of why I got it.
That's why fake news exists.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
Whoa.
That's the thing with bloggers.
That's why they're hard.
It's easy to shit on them.
They're easy targets because it's like, yo, your whole thing is just trying to make a career on an opinion.
So you pick the wildest opinion.
Right.
Daily mail for you.
Say what?
Daily mail.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
When they fucking.
People are more likely to click.
Oh, it's the seizure clip.
Yeah.
People are more likely to click Andrew Schultz makes jokes about woman's seizure than Andrew Jokes.
Andrew Schultz makes light of tense situation in comedy shows.
Right.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Fake News Bloggers00:05:55
Yeah.
Because I got to get people to click.
We're all trying to eat.
Everybody trying to eat.
And I mean, like, I guess we're in that same, we're in that same boat.
The tricky thing with us is, like, I think you lose value with your listeners if you lie.
So we have to find the sexiest way to describe something that you feel actually satisfies the expectation.
So when we say, like, the economics of porn or the real way porn stars make money.
Motherfucker, it better be the real way they make money.
Right?
It's like...
Because you lose credibility, man.
And before, when you lose credibility, you would just kind of like...
Write another article.
You can write another article and make it up.
But like now, if you lose credibility, that could literally affect your bottom line.
I'm not clicking on that shit because you like it.
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
I used to watch Vlad TV all the time.
And then five years later, when I just see this bullshit half the time, I'm just like, all right, I'm good.
I had to get on it.
And I used to do it a bunch.
And I appreciate Vlad for putting me on and giving me that opportunity.
But it was weighing on me.
Like, I would on Instagram every single day.
It's so aggressively negative.
Every single fucking time.
And it's just like...
Like the Adam 22s of the world, like the no jumpers, like the activity, even that's how DJ, that's how academics got off.
I don't fuck with Adam.
No, I fuck with Adam.
Why is he called no jumper?
I don't know fucking like that.
No, it's a, it wasn't a Gucci main balling like, uh, balling like this, but I got no jumper or something.
I think it's a Gucci man.
Okay.
Balling like a, whatever, but I got no jumper.
Why don't you fuck with Adam?
He got to Teanna Trump first.
No, I just think the shit he does is kind of like very detrimental to like hip-hop community.
Like what?
Oh, like interviewing the...
The shit that he, like, the shit that he perpetuates, because he has such a strong following.
Right.
That, you know, and one time, and, you know, hip-hop culture, granted, it's great at how healthy it is, and there's different avenues for different shit.
So you don't just got to be like, oh, this is what I like because that's everything.
It's like, fuck it.
But now it's just like when you know that the negative shit works and you just do it over and over and over and you kind of really don't care about the blowback from any of that shit because you're kind of eating off it, even though you're kind of destroying a lot of people's lives that you may not notice because you kind of got horse blinders on.
It's real distasteful.
You know what I mean?
And motherfuckers die over shit like that.
Do you think that he's promoting people's lives being destroyed?
And that's the thing.
He's not outwardly doing it, but I feel like once you get that sort of power, you kind of use it.
You got to use it responsibly.
And I don't think he does it.
I'll tell you.
I'm what Kaz is trying to say.
He finds all the young SoundCloud rappers, which tend to be black, takes advantage of them because they're young fucking drug head and pill head.
He's not at his experience yet.
And so he exploits all the fucked up shit that they're doing because these young kids don't realize the full rape of questions that can happen and Adam is just profiting off that.
How are you going to try to cliff know his Kaz and then talk for longer than him?
Yeah, I know, I know.
I understand.
I understand what you're saying.
I understand what you're saying.
I guess, and maybe Adam looks at it like, I'm curating these guys' careers.
Like, sometimes you come on my platforms and I post your shit and you could do tours and actually.
Yeah, so talk about the music.
Don't talk about the fuck shit.
But we all know that we care way more about fuck shit than we do music, right?
Which is, you know, he knows that they can get in trouble.
So it's like he knows that.
But he's not forcing nobody to say anything, right?
I think your argument is like they're young and naive and it's like you know that this is maybe bad for them.
Yes.
Right.
So it's like you're.
They look at it as predatory.
Yeah, you have like a social responsibility to it.
But what I'm saying is maybe it just, this is because I fucked with Adam.
He always been cool with me and I've been cool to him.
Maybe the way he looks at it is, here are these young kids that I'm actually giving an opportunity to make legit money so they don't have to be out here doing this hustle shit, do this fuck shit.
Like, you could actually just make your music.
And if I give you the outlet and I organize these tours for you and that kind of stuff, now you don't got to be selling drugs in the street and fucking shooting people.
Which I totally understand.
I just don't need to respect it.
No, I'm saying maybe that's his like intent.
Remember, I'm always trying to judge people off intent.
No, I get it.
Maybe that's his intent.
I totally get it.
And obviously, and honestly, like, I'm sure there's a lot of truth to that.
But at the same time, it's like, I don't need to respect it.
Like, I've seen it done a different way.
I've seen it done better ways that didn't lead to other shit.
So it's like, all right, I see what you're getting at.
And I can't hate on you for getting your money and getting other people's money.
But I've seen it done ways where it doesn't lead to something so destructive.
So I'm just like, I'm good on it.
That's fair.
It's almost the way I look at Tim Z.
It's like they're pretty credible most of the time.
It's just the way they have to go about getting their clicks.
It's like, come on, Tom.
Right.
You know, I just feel that way.
Interesting.
You can do it better, but you choose to just go about it that way.
Yeah.
Which I don't respect as much, but I still see why you do what you do.
And to be fair, that's kind of how it looked at Barstool at first.
Before I really started to, you know, see, you know, visit the site and visit the content and kind of see what they were going at.
I kind of used to look at Barstool like, you know, like it was kind of like fucked up.
Content that they would post and the way they would do it.
The misconception of Barstool is that people don't realize they're in on the joke.
Yeah.
Like if you actually are a fan of Barstool, they're making fun of themselves.
Exactly.
Francis Ellis is super self-he's not Barstool anymore, but super self-aware of the people.
Even if you go to the account, they're calling like these like white dude bros that are doing shit.
Still call them all Chad.
No, they call him Chad.
Oh yeah.
If the capsule is always like Chad, finding the love of his life.
And it's like a dude just making out with his pitbull or some shit like that.
No, they're awful.
They've commodified bro culture.
Yeah, they've commodified it, but they're not unself-aware of it, right?
They're like, we understand the absurdity of this.
Barstool Inside Jokes00:03:07
We will lean into this.
But the average chick that writes about it and says it's sarcastic, she has no clue that they're also making fun.
That's the thing.
That's what I didn't get at first.
Before when I used to watch, I used to be like, oh, man, this is fucking terrible.
How did they not know?
It wasn't until I knew, like, it's almost like it's more of a condemnation on how you feel about it, the way you react, than how they do.
You know, like, it's like, if you're offended by this, you're kind of part of the problem because they're in on the joke.
Like, how are you not in on the joke?
I think it might be the same with Adam No Jump.
It might be.
I just know that there's different ways to go about it.
Like, I get it more with Barstool because to me, I guess, like, sports is a little bit more fair.
Whereas hip-hop, like, just, I just, I know the politics of it.
Like, I know the politics of watching it.
And there's like lives that die.
Yeah, like, motherfuckers are going to die.
At the end of the day, like, you can say whatever you want.
Yeah, right?
Like, you can say whatever.
I can say, fuck Boston all day long.
Like, all they got to do is just beat the shit out of the Giants and the Jets all year.
And it's like, all right, well, there's a fairness in sport that there isn't in music.
That is fair.
That is fair.
All right.
What else we got?
So I wanted to do some of the Discord jokes.
Ben Simmons, Gatamax, Wimbledon, Final World Cup of Cricket.
He's also CB4 quote I sent you guys.
And also Purnell Whitaker, if you wanted to say that.
Yeah, I was about to say, I love that I was on the floor.
Purnell Sweet P. Whitaker.
Rest in peace.
This is the greatest defensive boxer, arguably, in history.
Over Floyd.
Some might say over Floyd.
And, I mean, literally impossible to hit.
And he ends up dying by getting hit by a car.
The great irony that that is, that literally could not be hit in the ring.
And then when he was walking down the street in Virginia Beach, I mean, he was born and raised in Norfolk.
I guess he's in Virginia Beach, and he just gets hit by a car, and he fucking died.
But he was truly one of the greatest boxers I've ever seen in my entire life.
I would watch his YouTube compilations of him dodging punches.
He had this amazing ability to be within punching range, but not punchable.
So he was a guy who could stand toe-to-toe with you.
Right.
And he just knew exactly what you were going to throw, when you were going to throw, how to dodge it, how to move, and then counter you beautifully.
And he was just one of the best boxers in history.
So rest in peace.
Shout out to Max Kellerman, man.
I used to watch this show back in the day before he really blew up.
And Purnell Whitaker used to always be on the show.
And that's how I kind of really got to know him and how dope he was.
Because it was like in the era of when heavyweight boxing was super popping, like the Tysons, the Holyfields, and all that shit, and just big knockouts were the thing.
His show was popping because nobody could hit the motherfucker.
Nobody.
He was fucking magic in there.
So like, you know, I used to love watching his shit.
And, you know, rest in peace to Sweet P. There's a great clip.
I'm sure it's popping all over Instagram right now, but of the first time that or when he fought Oscar De La Hoya.
Now, De La Hoya ended up winning the fight by decision, but De La Joya throws maybe 15 punches in a row at Purnell Whitaker, and he misses every single punch, like some real deal Matrix type shit.
And he's just lunging with another one, another one, another one.
He just keeps missing.
He does a little dance and then the round ends.
Sweet P Rest In Peace00:10:57
And it's like, that is Sweet P right there in a nutshell.
Just unfucking hitable, man.
I mean, look at this.
Watch this.
Here's the clip.
Watch.
This is, I don't know if this is the exact one I'm thinking of, but there's 15 seconds left, so I think it's probably going to be a bit more.
Yeah, yeah, now, and it starts maybe not yet.
No, no, hear us.
Yes.
I heard this.
Boom, miss, Hey.
Salsa on that ass.
Let's go.
I mean, this guy was fucking majestic.
Look at this.
Jesus.
Jesus.
That's unreal.
Shout out to Judge Mills Lane, man.
The legend.
Oh, yeah.
So, but no, there was something else that I texted you today.
What was it again?
Drake's Crib.
No, no, no.
You just mentioned it.
The Discord jokes, CB4 and Mellow, the tweet.
Oh, Ben Simmons.
Oh, yeah.
For some reason, the Philadelphia 76ers have maxed out Ben Simmons.
Yeah, that was a funny laugh.
Bro.
That was cash, by the way.
That was no little gun.
I just got a lot of money.
Just calling what's going on, Jack.
Because I know this is going to be hilarious.
I would not believe it.
How do you max out Ben Simmons?
He has proven that not only can he not shoot, he doesn't even care to learn.
He's been in the league three years.
You don't even learn how to shoot in three years.
You know what?
It's kind of admirable.
It's kind of admirable.
No.
How does he get good at every like he's good at everything?
Because he's except the one thing you need to be good at.
He's 6'9.
That's why.
No one Ben Simmons is so fucking fascinating to me.
He's like the walking analytic study.
Like he's the reason, like the reason why plus minuses and fucking true shooting percentages and all this bullshit exists is he's the product of that shit.
I don't think he's treated as a superstar if he blows up like in the 90s.
Like if he's like in the 80s and 90s, I don't think he gets like superstar treatment.
I don't think he gets it.
He's not good at three.
So how's he?
That's what I'm saying.
I don't think so.
Because even if he can't shoot threes, he can't shoot at all.
He doesn't take them.
He literally cannot shoot three.
Like he does not take them.
He's making him max money.
It's one thing.
That's what I'm saying.
It's one thing if you can't shoot him and you just miss him and shit.
He doesn't fucking take him.
So like, but he's great passer, great rebounder, great defender, athletic as fuck.
You can't play with him in the playoffs.
The guy is He will single-handedly lost a game.
I mean, it'll lose you a series.
In the playoffs, it really matters.
You can't have a guy out there that can't shoot.
How do you max it out?
Can someone tell me how you do it?
I think in a few, nobody's going to say it now, but definitely, I think you're going to be right in a few years.
Definitely if he doesn't start shooting at least this year.
You got to at least take one a game.
He's got to shoot them.
You have to shoot one a game.
You fucking have to.
Let's say he develops a 12-foot jump shot, 15-foot jump shot.
Just something where you could pump fit.
We're not going to pump fake a three or anything like that.
He has a hook shot.
Fuck the hook shot.
I want you to be able to stop and pull up.
You have to be able to do that.
This is the NBA.
You should be able to stop and then pull up.
I don't even think he needs to stop and pull up.
I think you catch and shoot.
Let's just try that.
Like if motherfuckers pass you in the baseline.
Don't even dribble.
Just catch and shoot.
You just put one up.
Dog, it is embarrassing.
It's just embarrassing.
I can't believe Akash can't go an hour and a half without taking a piss.
I think that we got to take away your water.
Yeah, I think we give a lot.
No, you're not allowed to drink water during the show anymore.
No, I'll deal with your thirst.
Holy shit.
We'll deal with your thirst.
This guy cannot go an hour and a half sitting down without taking a piss.
We need to have like a montage of baby bladder moments with Akash.
Like every time.
We've got to figure.
Well, he's the opposite of a camel.
Whatever a camel can do, Akash is the exact opposite than that.
Who can't go an hour without peeing?
Sonny's like 4'11.
His belt Biden's.
I was about to say, like, the trip is quick for that water.
It's just run.
No, but the funny thing is that he pees for bad long.
Mad long.
He'll start before me.
I go, and then I finish, and he's still going.
Really?
Yeah.
So I know it's weird that I'm coming first.
How's he storing all this liquid?
I'm like observing his pulse.
But it's not that.
That's how it feels in the bathroom so much.
Like you sit here and study this man's pee behavior.
I don't even get it.
I do not get it.
I swear he's calling his girl during his pee breaks, bro.
That's gotta be it.
You gotta check in or some shit.
There's no way.
Hour and a half mark hits every podcast.
He has to pee.
How is this humanly possible?
There's no way you can't hold a pick.
I think we gotta restrict water.
He always gets two like you.
No, he first of all, there's no more two.
He has to ration.
He has to ration.
We have to ration.
It's just, we're gonna give him one tiny cup of water.
He gets a cup.
Nah, we gotta treat him like a pregnant bitch.
He only gets ice chips.
This is what you get from that one.
You gotta deal with that.
That's what you gotta deal with.
That's gonna be a lot of people.
I'm gonna be honest.
I'm gonna sell you.
I'm gonna box water.
No, no, no.
I think you can make it through a whole episode if you can do just a little bit.
I just try and still have to pee.
Let's just try.
I can't.
I mean, it's just unfathomable.
What were we talking about before you left?
The Simmons Max.
Oh, no, no.
I want to get off of this.
I just think it's such a horribly awful thing to do.
Why the fuck would you do it?
It's shocking.
What else we got?
We got Where Chris Paul ends up.
We got Where Chris Paul ends up.
We got the Discord joke.
So we had a picture of Carl Anthony Townsend's fake off-whites that we put up on the Patreon.
And Akash put it up in the Discord, and the Discord had some jokes about it.
So we're going to see if you guys are funny.
Let's see.
Let's see what we go.
All right.
So, Makram Merkom.
He's an effing bum.
Why do you say effing?
I don't know why.
He's a fucking bum.
Laughing my ass.
A lot of holy shit out there in the Nike.
Dude cares about his shoe game like he cares about his career, doesn't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Macram, we could do better.
Next.
Next, Cat Broy is Nikes.
Yo, I got my own emoji.
Look at this shit.
I got my own emoji in the Discord if it's funny.
Cat brought his Nikes from that store Akash was running in India.
That's good.
That's funny.
Cat rocking the Gujrati4 Hudgens.
That's good.
I like that one.
Live footage of Kaz trying to get some authentic shoes.
That's good.
I should have started with this one, Eddie.
That's good.
And now, for those of you guys who can't see, it's a picture of Kat trying to back Boogie down, and he just cannot move him at all.
All right, Slim Reaper said, them shoes still worth more than any WNBA team.
Damn.
Damn.
This is definitely the new Megan rapping those Nikes.
She deserves.
Sauce Boss.
Oh, oh, Megan rapping on Nikes.
She deserves.
Oh, you just read the tweet.
Okay.
Sauce Boss.
I need you to come harder with the next one.
You think that the nigga saving money on this thing is able to find a way to pay for his mustache to reach his beard?
That's good.
So what if your mustache can't reach Michelle's talking about?
Sometimes that happens.
Aww.
Looks like Kat and Ak got the same style.
Oh, because they got Ag with the fake Supreme he was rocking.
How can you tell?
Huh?
How can you tell if that's fake?
I don't know.
Supreme just never released that.
Ah, okay.
They never made that?
Oh, shit.
All right, Discord.
Y'all did all right.
Yo, it was all a couple bangers.
Oh, y'all came harder before.
Those are the good ones that I got sent.
Now, do we want to talk where CB3 goes?
There's also a CB Chauncey Billups quote that I sent Ellen.
Ed.
The Mello thing.
Ellen?
Yeah.
Ellen, can you pull that up, please?
Wait, are we going to call him Ellen?
DJ Ellen, bro.
That's your new nickname.
You're going to get all the games.
Ellen the Janet.
About to start dancing.
So basically, Chauncey Bills, you don't need to post it up.
Chauncey Billips basically said this.
He goes, you know, Mello is an unbelievable player.
The problem is that he always cared too much about scoring 30.
And he goes, the team, he might score 20 and the team would win, and he wouldn't be that enthusiastic.
But if you scored 30 and the team lost, he'd be going around the locker room, like, come on, guys, we got that.
This that I hate those guys.
I hate those guys.
That's Mellow.
That's a Chauncey said.
And Chauncey said, and I've said this to Mello: scoring 30 means more to you than winning.
And then he said that story of like, yo, they would win, but Mello wouldn't put up points and he'd be down and out.
Jesus Christ.
Sounds upset?
Sounds like it.
Sounds like it.
And that's, and that's, and he basically was saying, like, that's why he's not in the league.
He's like, he deserves to be in the league the way he can play.
He's elite talent.
He's elite talent, but he just cares too much about them buckets, man.
I talked to Justin Jackson over the weekend, the Sacramento Kings.
He's been on North Carolina, Tar Hills, whatever.
And me and Vant and Van was there.
It was like just talking about like, what's the difference between the league and just like regular shit?
It's like, there's way more politics than you think.
Like, there's so many people that should be in the league that aren't in the league for like political ass shit.
I was like, is that like how the Mello shit's going?
I was like, yeah, you could say that.
There's so many people in the league that don't deserve to be in the NBA, but they just go.
It's crazy how you can take our point, agree with it, and then make a point that completely disagrees with our point.
I mean, it causes conversation, doesn't it?
He's like, no, I actually, I do see what you mean because Mello deserves to be in the league.
No, I'm not sure.
Because it's just politics is why he's not here.
No, he deserves to be in the league, but I'm just saying it's an addition to it.
It's not just.
If you have the right agent, listen, if you're a bum, the right agent can keep you in the league.
Absolutely.
If you're elite, you're elite.
There's not a single elite player that's not in the league.
Yeah.
Right?
Because talent is a commodity.
And Mello is elite at one thing.
Scoring a basketball.
And only wants to be elite at one thing.
And only wants to be elite at one thing.
But Jar Smith is available now.
You think he makes a team before Mello?
Absolutely.
I think he's I think they already said he's going to LA, right?
Or that was the conversation.
He got released just now.
He just sent me the story.
Yeah.
Even though he didn't get the text I sent him.
Who, Ellen?
Ellen, yeah.
Yo, Ellen, what was that?
Maybe I sent it to Edna, not Ellen.
Elite Player Agents00:07:12
And maybe that's why I got fucked up.
Probably is.
Ellen, you really don't like that name, you Ellen-ass Ellen?
Stupid fucking Ellen.
Fucking Ellen.
Fucking Ellen, bro.
Fucking Ellen, bro.
Oh, Chris.
Yo, show us your pussy, Ellen.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
All right.
Can we play the...
Yo, remember back in the day when you could say that to your secretary?
Yo, back in the day, if you just worked at like an ad agency, we're talking about like the 50s, like you could be like on the phone trying to sell like Goodyear tires, and then that shit wouldn't go well.
You'd be pissed off.
You'd be like, Patricia, come here, show me a pussy.
I'm pissed off all that.
Like, that was just part of your day, right?
Pour me a scotch and show me your cunt.
Come on.
It's like madmen.
That's what he just described.
Episode one.
Literally, that's how it worked.
Okay, Ellen?
So tuck that cock between your legs and sauce that fucking gina.
Oh, my God.
That's funny.
I think those weirdo chicks that dress weird and all the tattoos, I just think that pussy's different.
Goths?
Yeah.
Like the weirdo joints.
Like the Portland women.
Yeah, yeah.
The pale bitches that got tattoos.
Exactly.
Yo, you watch Euphoria?
No.
I heard that shit is wild.
It's a wild show.
Oh, I heard that.
It's a great show.
Hold on.
What were you saying about these people?
I don't know.
It was just an observation.
But what about them?
That their pussies are different?
Yeah, just different in a way that I just don't know.
Like, like, cow.
Like the land of the unexplored, and you just have to.
I don't get it.
But how does their pussies look?
Like, you know how they say Asians are sideways?
Wow.
Cow!
All right.
We going there now?
Wait, we're up with it.
Might have been a woman.
Yo, the far rock away coming out of this dude right now.
Maybe I have to edit that.
Yo, first of all, let me just ask y'all something about this.
So, none of that.
Now I gotta ask this, right?
Because, all right, look, right?
They say Asian girls' pussies are sideways, right?
Who is that?
Oh, you never heard that?
That's a very common thing.
Yeah, that's a common thing.
That's a common thing.
So they say Asian girls' pussies are sideways, right?
That's like a common joke, right?
And then you ask your friends, like, yo, why do they say that shit?
And they're like, yo, because their eyes be like that.
Their eyes ain't.
The eyes are not going down like that.
They're not a lizard, right?
Their eyes is just more closed.
So you can say their pussies are more closed, but not their pussies are sideways.
Where did sideways come?
I don't know.
Alex, why'd you think?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Open up sideways.
Please tell us.
Yo, Ellen, pull it up.
No, we got to get to the bottom of this.
Why do you think Asian girls' pussy, like, where was the logic in your head?
When you first, like, when you hooked up with your first Asian girl, did you, like, slide your hand in there like opposite?
Like, did you still get the first one?
You just swipe her like a message.
Yo, like, you know how you finger a girl like this?
Like, you go down there and go like that?
Like, did you go down there with the intent to like go back?
Like, what your wipers?
Yo, son, like you clearly went to a gutter full of leaves, bro.
Oh, my God.
Shout out to the Asians, man.
I love y'all.
I never thought Asians' girl pussies were sideways.
Yeah, that was just stupid.
I thought they were a little smaller, though.
They are smaller.
They got a fit, you know.
Everything's made for the built for elasticity.
Can we say that?
Look, a first baseman or a softball mitt is bigger.
Do you know what I mean?
Than the baseball mitt.
Did you just Google sideways sports teams?
Oh, okay.
No, but that.
No sideways pussy.
A pedophile joke.
Oh, no, I'd be wilder.
That's a wild-ass joke, son.
Alex thought of a wild-ass fucking joke, bro.
Well, you're not going to say it.
I'm going to say it just because I'm going to say it.
Basically, I was doing this Comedy Central shit last week, this week of the Comedy Central.
Comedy Cellar, right?
And they gave us some topics we had to write bits out.
So we're coming back from Toronto Sunday, right?
And I'm like, all right, Al, you got anything for this, man?
I can't think of nothing.
It was this Jeffrey Epstein guy, right?
And you were like, Jeffrey Epstein is this billionaire who's like a pedophile, right?
And he goes, he goes, yo, like, maybe he's just got a small dick, right?
And then I'm like, what do you mean?
He goes, that's why he fucks girls, like, because that's what fits.
Wow.
So, son, he said that shit, bro, right?
What are you nervous for, Alex?
Your boss right here.
He got inspired by the ball.
He's going to lose, bro.
So I thought hundreds of thousands of people listen to this shit.
So this is where it gets even crazier, right?
You behind the camera.
Yeah, that was Ellen.
This is where he gets, this is where it gets crazy, right?
Yo, then he goes, I don't know if it was you or me that said the R. Kelly shit.
It was you?
Okay, then he goes, he goes, and then R. Kelly, like, maybe he had a micropenis too.
You know what?
It's like, because he fucks little, he fucks younger girls too, right?
But they're a little bit older because, yeah, he had a micropenis, but it's a black one.
So it's a little bit bigger.
I thought it was a good joke.
I mean, I thought it was good.
I thought it was pretty good.
I liked it.
I used it.
You know, Comedy Central shit.
Hell yeah.
I like the premise.
I like the premise.
It was all right.
You know, the line with the R. Kelly shit hit.
Because that's like the clever, like absurd one.
But there's no way in fucking hell that they would post that.
There's no fucking way.
But I think it's funny.
It's going to be hilarious.
I'm watching Comedy Central this week, and that's the clip that you said.
Yo, that's a funny joke about like the way I the way I switched the joke when I did for the Comedy Central shit.
I said, I was watching, I was walking by this Epstein protest, and I saw these women holding up signs like, you micro penis piece of shit, you small dick pedophile bastard.
And I started thinking, like, oh, shit, maybe that's why he's a pedophile.
So I made them like, because that's what fits.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And then they're like, oh, and I'm like, guys, this is just physics.
It's not, I don't have any stake in the, you know, he's just trying to find something.
Alex said I went too far.
My thing on Epstein was that like he was kind of genius because like, remember like back in the day how like, you know, weed was illegal in America.
So we would go to Amsterdam to smoke weed where it was legal.
Right.
And it's like, well, fucking girls was illegal in America.
So he bought an island that didn't have rules.
He just had pedophile Amsterdam.
He got his own little hamster dam.
Got it.
Tennis Physics Match00:15:02
So that didn't make it.
Oh, geez.
Yeah.
You shut up and hit the cutting room floor.
God damn it.
We'll see.
We'll see if we get some shit.
All right.
What else we got before we got to get up?
You want to talk about Drake's career?
We want to talk more where CP3 is going next.
What else we got?
We got anything outside of Wimbledon?
Wimbledon was fucking wild.
Oh, yeah, you care about tennis.
Make us.
I might be wrong.
I might end up.
I don't know how much longer they're going to say Roger Fedder is the greatest ever.
This is why I say he's the greatest ever because the top three tennis players of all time, men's-wise, are all playing right now.
And he is playing against the other two all the time.
And pretty much any tournament that gets one is getting won by one of them.
So to have the most wins of all time, playing against number two in number, there's no sport where this has ever happened.
It's like Michael Jordan playing against Bill Russell and whoever your third best player is.
Now, again, this is me just throwing out something else here, but some might say that Michael Jordan was so much more elite than his competitors.
There wasn't even a situation where the three best could be playing at the same time.
Because he just won everything.
Tournaments always, first of all, it starts with like 64 people and then you work your way up to the fact that the finals is always these three guys, two of these three, means that they're all the same.
They're all the best.
And he's been his first Grand Slam.
They have like four majors like golf.
His first win was 2003.
And he's still too uncomfortable.
And tennis, you're supposed to stop being good around 30.
Now technology, the guy who beat him is five years younger and he might end up with more wins.
Jokovich might end up with more wins than Federer even.
It's so fucking crazy.
I've never seen a sport that's this top heavy.
Right.
And at 37 years old, the guy's playing tennis for five fucking hours.
Unbelievable.
It's the longest match final of that tournament's history.
I saw this.
It could have been a Clickbait article that it said he sleeps like 12 hours a day.
Is that real?
I don't know.
I just know he is, I've never seen anybody make anything look easier.
Why are you?
Okay, so what I don't understand, and maybe it's just age, but he loses in the final.
Yeah.
But all the articles are about how incredible he is.
He's 37.
There's 37.
We also love him and we don't like the other guy, Jokovich.
And he's kind of young and punkish.
And there's something about him that like he gets really upset when the crowd cheers for the other player.
And everybody just loves Federer.
He's very classy, but not like phony.
Like I remember 10 years ago, whatever, when he was just beating the shit out of everybody, they asked him after he won a tournament, and he was like, yeah, I don't know.
I'm just really playing unbelievable.
It's just like, it's really crazy.
It wasn't like cocky.
It was like, I don't get it.
He's very like sheepish about it.
It was just like he owns it, but he's not being an asshole.
Yeah, it was like, he wasn't trying to brag.
He's like, and he's right.
That's one thing I do love about tennis, though, like, how they get like interviewed like it's a sitcom and like the fucking the crowd.
It's like it's always like a fucking episode of Family Matters after every final.
There's a cool thing.
I grew up, my uncle loved tennis, and that was like my dad.
So like I just got into it.
But like there's little cool moments.
I remember a tournament, like, think about the entire arena rooting for one other guy.
It's two people on the court.
And everybody hates you because you're not this guy.
And I remember one match like five, six years ago, he was playing Federer.
Everybody, U.S. Open's cheering for Federer.
Federer's got match point, and he's serving, and serving is like a big advantage.
So Jokovich looks up.
Everybody's on their fucking feet.
He just looks up and they just goes, okay, okay.
And then he gets into a turn stance, hits the serve back, this crazy shot, and then he just stands and stares at the crowd for like 15 seconds.
And I'm just like, there's some Coliseum type shit to it.
That's just like dope.
Two men enter one man.
And this is just like, if you like greatness, this is a cool time to watch tennis.
Do you think he'll win another major?
I don't know if Federer will because he's 37 and this guy like just looks kind of like in the way every time.
And then the other guy in the doll, there's one tournament that he wins every year.
Like it's the 13 French opens and the number two guy has like five French opens.
He's on clay.
Clay unstoppable.
13 French opens, which is clay.
Number two of all time is like five or something like that.
Like it's insane.
Is he, how much worse is he on the other fourth?
He's not as good at...
He's like noticeable.
He's just definitely not as good.
He's not awful, but he's definitely not as good.
And those other two are good on any surface.
Is tennis the only sport that has multiple surfaces?
I think so.
It's kind of weird, isn't it?
Football?
I think it develops.
Well, that's right.
Yeah, football has grass turf and sometimes baseball fields.
But there was also like there was an Astroturf or something.
There's a fake turf.
Oh, that's interesting.
I think it might have developed out of necessity where they just like the U.S., it's too expensive to maintain grass courts.
So they had clay and French had clay.
Then concrete came around and they were like, yo, this is even easier to maintain, cheaper to maintain.
Let's do that.
So now most tournaments.
It's not concrete.
Yeah, now most tournaments are concrete because it's just the easiest.
Put this in one time.
It's going to last the longest, not much maintenance.
Let's just stick with that.
Have you played on grass?
I haven't played on anything except the hardcourt.
And I also haven't played in like 15 years since high school and a little bit of college.
Do they say it's that different when you play on grass?
Apparently, it's much different.
Yeah, grass is supposed to be real fast.
I was about to say, like, I feel like the.
I feel like you slip around all the time.
You slip around.
That's a thing you got to account for.
On clay, you got to account for slipping, hardcore.
Oh, that's right.
Clay slides like crazy.
And hardcore, you can't slide.
You'll tear your fucking ACL.
So you got to play differently on all three surfaces.
Wow.
That's the thing with these sports.
They don't know how to market them, man.
I almost, maybe one day when we're fucking old, we'll have a marketing agency where we help sports out because, like, to me, that's how you sell.
Tennis exciting.
Yeah.
Like, yes, we understand the tennis fans get it, but the casuals, like, tell me that, tell me that someone could bust their ACL unless they play different on this concrete.
Tell me this clay shit is going to be different.
Like, show me the new stimulus every time I watch.
It's exciting.
There's a monotony to baseball, right?
There is a monotony to basketball, even, right?
A lot of people go, I just watched the fourth quarter.
And tennis can be monotonous.
You never know when the point's going to come.
It's like a crazy rally.
But like, I'll zone out.
I'm not like a fanatic.
I enjoy it, but I'll zone out early in a match.
Right.
But like, I also just love individual sports and like seeing like this guy, Novak Jokovich, used to choke all the time.
And me as a guy.
He got over it.
He just got over it.
Now he's a fucking champion.
And you see one person get over this thing.
Like Jordan had to conquer it.
But he has teammates.
He's the best by far, but he got teammates.
If it's just fucking you doing anything, it's crazy.
And you're not even allowed to consult with your coach.
That's what Serena during a match.
That's what Serena got in trouble for.
You know it's bad marketing because you said to me, it's like, oh, I went 35 years and I never understood the point scoring.
I was watching the, you love white sports.
I was watching the, he was watching the Wimbledon, the thing when we were at the airport.
And it dawned on me, I truly don't know how it's scored.
Yeah, it's weird.
It goes like 15, 30, 40.
15, 30, 40, 10, 10, 10, 40 game.
Love is there.
Love is zero.
15, 30.
30, 40.
And then you win.
And if you both have 40, that's a deuce.
And then it's basically win by two.
Win by two.
And then when you win that thing, that's called a game.
And you need how many games to be a set?
Six.
If you're tied at six, you go to a tiebreaker.
Right.
That's what you were explaining to me.
So the first to six.
Six, win by two.
Win by two.
Or straight seven.
Or straight seven.
Yeah.
Okay.
Six win by two or straight seven.
But then the last set, that's why it went that long.
It was like a tiebreaker.
So I should just kept going bag and fucking back.
How many sets do you, if guys need to win four sets?
Guys need to win five.
Three.
Three sets.
Best of five.
Women need to win.
Win two.
And that's why the girls' game is shorter.
Yeah.
And that's why it can go on forever because if they're tied.
Yeah, and there's only certain tournaments that are like the Grand Slams.
I think three of the four have these things where you've got to win by two.
And then Wimbledon had an Andy Roddick Roger Federer match where the last set was like 50.
It was like 49 to 51 or something crazy.
So then they were like, let's, and there was another game, wasn't important, but it went like 80 to 79 or something like the 81.
So they're like, look, after 12, we're just going to do tiebreakers.
And we're not going to fucking do this anymore.
So that means whoever wins wins.
So it was 12.
Yeah, they went through a tiebreak.
Yeah, no, maybe we should go to the U.S. Open.
When is it?
It's late August.
In September.
Yeah, late August, early September.
I've been there before.
It was super fun.
Yeah, I go to a night match, and we should buy tickets to like one of the later games, like where it's good people playing.
Yeah.
It's a great atmosphere, too.
You know what I kind of liked?
I was walking around, and sometimes you have guys that were really popular when we were kids, and they've kind of fallen off, but they're still professionals, they're still playing, right?
So, like, a journeyman NBA player will still be on NBA team.
Yeah, but again, like you said, it's an individual sport.
Yeah, so there was a guy named Leighton Hewitt from a military.
Yeah, he was like, at one point, he was incredible.
Yeah, his whole game was just, I'm gonna make you fuck up.
Yeah, I will, I have turned unlimited fitness.
I will get every ball back until you fuck up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, uh, I think they said Agassiz was good at that too, right?
Return anything?
Did he return anything?
But like, within that's like whatever serve you hit, I can get it back.
Layton Hewitt's game is like, I'm not going to try to hit crazy shots, I'm just going to make you hit one more every time.
And I'm waiting for you to eventually, right?
Yeah, okay, so I saw him play because, again, when the U.S. Open happens, all these matches are happening at the same time.
Like you said, there's 64 people, they need to whittle them down.
So not every match is on the big one with the stadium.
There's like the ones on the side that only fit like 100 people.
Yeah.
I'm watching this Layton Hewitt guy that I saw in Sports Center.
I didn't know anything about tennis or anything.
There's two bleachers.
Yeah.
Literally two rows of seats.
He's right there.
You could, I could have walked right on the tennis court and just interrupted a fucking game.
Got a selfie if I want it.
It's rare you get to see.
Yeah.
It's like suddenly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's something like where you're just that fucking close in the action.
So maybe we could do some flagrant shit.
Maybe we could like get some tickets and cook some content.
I'm going with my cousin regardless.
So like, oh, you're like, you're into it.
Yeah, especially U.S. Open at night.
It's also kind of like a fun because it's New Yorker.
So like London is mad classy.
Like if the other guy makes a mistake, you're not supposed to cheer.
That's like an unwritten tennis rule.
New York at night, if we like Federer and they love everybody loves Federer.
Like even in America, he's more popular than like the great American champions like Pete Sambers or whoever.
If Federer is in a tight match and the other guy fucks up, they don't care.
We're yelling shit.
We're clapping.
We're getting rowdy.
Like it's New York.
You know what I mean?
It's still New York.
Even if it's classier motherfuckers that like tennis, it's still New York.
It's kind of fun.
I still like the fact that they'll cheer while crazy, but everybody shuts up right before.
They still respect him.
It's like, yo, we're going to give you your quiet for us.
It's that golf shit, too, right?
Like, aren't you supposed to not make a sound when you tee off, but then you can say whatever.
As soon as it hits, like, no.
Shit, all right, maybe we're pulling up.
I'm with it.
Guys, that has been another episode of Flagrant 2.
Why don't we tell some people where we're going to be at, man?
Oh, this weekend, I will be in Detroit, Michigan for Duce Palooza at the Masquerade.
Masquerade?
Sorry.
Yes, this Friday, the Masquerade.
No, sorry about that.
This Friday, Detroit, Michigan, July 19th.
Wale will be performing full set, performing his new single on show with Jeremiah, which should be really tight.
And let me just pull up the other DJ before I fucking forget.
Goddamn.
Shit.
You can go ahead, Andrew.
Fuck.
Can't find the shit.
I'm sorry.
Kaz is struggling.
Yeah, I'm trying, bro.
Kaz struggling.
Yo, I'm going to be at the Montreal Comedy Festival.
I'm going to be going up this week.
I'm going to do the Nasty Show, which is a series.
If you guys are in Montreal, there's going to be a bunch of very funny comics on it.
But we're also going to do Inside Jokes and Unsafe Sets up there.
So I think the Unsafe Set show is sold out.
I think Inside Jokes might be sold out, but it's pretty close.
And I'm excited to do it, man.
I'm excited just to be up there.
So I'll be up there for the next couple weeks.
Alex is going to come up, not this weekend, but the next weekend for the Unsafe Sets and Inside Joke shows.
And he'll be capturing some of the nasty shows as well.
But yeah, if you're in Montreal, definitely pull up, come by.
That'll be a lot of fun.
And then I'll also be after that going to Tokyo.
If you've got any advice about Tokyo, I'll be there from the second.
Andrew finally taking a vacation, guys.
I'm gonna take a little vacation.
I need a little vacation.
Are you still doing Burning Man?
You're doing two vacays or this the one?
There's Burning Man has to do with some news that I'm I want to tell you guys, but I can't tell it just yet.
But I want to tell about you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I don't.
I'll tell you, you do now.
But so Burning man is dependent on that because I might have to be here to oversee some shit.
But hopefully I can, you guys don't.
But hopefully we'll be able to share that in a second.
And then, but after I get back from Tokyo, we're going to be back on the road again.
Matador tour, come see us in DC.
What is it?
The 15th through the 17th or something like that.
August.
We're there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
A bunch of shows.
DeAndrewSchultz.com for that.
Then we're going to be out there in Chicago.
The first show sold out for Chicago, so we added another show.
Dahlia Hall, beautiful theater there in Chicago, man.
Pull up.
Can't wait to see all motherfuckers out there.
And then we're going to be hitting up.
I think we have another date.
And then we got Russia.
Russia.
Then we're going to be in Australia.
Those tickets for Australia are moving, by the way.
If you haven't got them, get them now because this ship is about to be gone.
Remember, I'm not coming there all the fucking time.
So get on that shit.
Tell your friends.
Spread the fucking word.
Keep it flagrant.
And then theandrewschultz.com.
We keep adding more and more shows.
So I'm very excited for y'all to continue seeing this.
This is crazy seeing us go from clubs to theaters.
To sold-out theaters.
It's just a wild experience, man.
And to see the audiences, man, it's just like leaning into the flagrancy to see the comics that I have open because I specifically choose guys that fuck with the flagrancy and to see them perform in front of a crowd that actually embraces it and embraces like dark humor and fucked up jokes and like gets off on it.
When they come off stage, it's so crazy because they're like, yo, your crowd is fucking unreal.
I'm dealing with these PC motherfuckers all the time.
And I'm like scared to tell some jokes and all of a sudden I tell this one fucked up joke and they're going crazy at me, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, they love y'all.
So it's a treat for them to perform for you guys as well, man.
So yeah, theandreasouls.com get all those dates cast off.
My fault finally got the right fucking information.
We're at the majestic, not the masquerade.
My fault.
Detroit and 4140 Woodward Avenue.
DJ Twist, DJ Slick B, DJ BJ will all be spinning.
My boy Chris Daslo key hosting Wale will be performing his new album single and as much as other shit.
And pull up this Friday, man.
And if you're going to Complex Con after that, hit me up.
I should be around there as well.
Akash, all you.
Yo, we're building out this tour.
I'm headlining.
I'm bringing my boy Donish Magbul along to feature a very funny comic.
Subscribe To Flagrant00:02:17
So we are going to Houston September 6th at the Secret Group.
Two shows, 8 and 10.30.
Then the 7th, we're in Austin at the Fallout Theater at 7 o'clock.
We're there again on the 8th.
Follow theater, 7 o'clock.
September 13th, San Francisco, Piano Fight, two shows, 8 and 10:30.
September 19th, the Comedy Store in the Belly Room, 8 p.m.
September 20th, Portland, Curious Comedy, 7:30.
And then October 5th, Minneapolis, two shows, 8 and 10 at Sisyphus Brewing.
And also, I'm doing another ABDC show.
We're calling ourselves Brownish now.
Nobody knew what the fuck Nancy meant.
So we're calling ourselves Brownish.
And we will be at New York Comedy Club on 4th Street, August 15th.
It's going to be a hot show come through.
Andrew, if you're in town, come through.
Kaz, if you're in town, come on.
I'm pulling up.
I'm pulling up, man.
Got to, bro.
I'm pulling up.
Absolutely.
Guys, thank y'all so much for listening to Flagrant 2, spreading the word, spreading the flagrancy, but keeping them fingers tight.
Oh, fuck.
Very important message.
Thank you, Al.
And maybe we should put this in the beginning as well.
So this is going to be the second time you heard this.
But the Flagrant 2 YouTube channel is up.
We are separating the YouTube channels.
I mean, this is what happens when you guys watch fucking YouTube videos and shit starts to blow up, man.
We're gonna give Flagrant to its own YouTube channel.
Please go subscribe.
I put a link in my Instagram.
I'll put another one up tomorrow.
What's the actual URL?
So we can't get a custom URL until we get 100 subscribers, which I think we have now, but we just I just posted about it yesterday.
Let me go check and and, but basically, please go subscribe to that also.
The same thing for Brilliant Idiots, please go subscribe to that as well.
So we are just breaking these channels up so that we can put more content out on each one and everyone doesn't get overflooded, and i'm just very excited about it, man.
Thank y'all so much for watching the videos and sharing them, and seeing these, these videos do big numbers is super exciting for us.
So uh, thanks again man, just for always supporting what we do here.
So go go, please.
I'm asking you guys, please go subscribe to the Flagrant YouTube, the brilliant idiots YouTube as well, because that's where you're going to be able to watch these videos, the clips, and the full video every week.
There, all right, guys, that's been another episode of Flagrant 2.