Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Shoutout To Women
Aired: 2019-07-19
Duration: 08:24


=== Sugar, Licking, and River Erosion (02:33) ===

[00:00:04]  My hen's going away, bro.
[00:00:06]  Congratulations.
[00:00:06]  A lot of licking.
[00:00:09]  Put it down.
[00:00:10]  Like a little kitty cat.
[00:00:11]  We all know how that's just going away.
[00:00:13]  Bro, you got to punch it back.
[00:00:16]  Feedback in that.
[00:00:17]  Dog, for real.
[00:00:18]  No, the licking does work.
[00:00:19]  It's like erosion.
[00:00:20]  It's like how a river treats a rock.
[00:00:23]  It's like slowly over time.
[00:00:26]  It just wears it down into a nice little beach glass.
[00:00:31]  You ever see a little piece of beach glass?
[00:00:32]  Like a little pebble.
[00:00:33]  My shit is a nice little pebble now, bro.
[00:00:35]  Little seashell out there.
[00:00:37]  Soft corners, soft edges.
[00:00:39]  Put your ear to his hammer and you can hear the ocean.
[00:00:42]  It's like a peanut MM.
[00:00:43]  You just lick it eventually and then it gets smaller.
[00:00:46]  Melts in your hand now.
[00:00:47]  Melt in your mouth.
[00:00:48]  What is it again?
[00:00:49]  Melt in your mouth, Dot.
[00:00:50]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:00:52]  Damn, bro.
[00:00:52]  I think my cum stinks, bro.
[00:00:54]  What?
[00:00:57]  Yo, I think my cum stinks, bro.
[00:01:00]  Are you just having this revelation?
[00:01:01]  Just the other day, I came in in a girl's mouth, and how fast she made it to the bathroom offended me, bro.
[00:01:11]  Like, I was still busting, and she was hoofing it to the bathroom.
[00:01:17]  Like, the first one hit her, and she just went like, she went like this.
[00:01:22]  She went, bro.
[00:01:28]  It was so fast, bro.
[00:01:31]  It was so fast.
[00:01:33]  I was like, where?
[00:01:34]  Oh, man.
[00:01:38]  I just touched the top of it.
[00:01:39]  What are you eating, bro?
[00:01:40]  I'm not even smelling it.
[00:01:42]  What do you eat?
[00:01:43]  That's probably why your cum stinks.
[00:01:45]  I don't eat any asparagus because that shit makes it smell bad.
[00:01:48]  Even my pee smells bad off that.
[00:01:50]  Really?
[00:01:50]  If I have an asparagus at 5 o'clock, by 5:20, I will be pissing asparagus.
[00:01:56]  And my cum stinks too.
[00:01:58]  I refuse to do asparagus.
[00:02:00]  Yeah.
[00:02:00]  Don't do it.
[00:02:01]  But mostly, you know, I have a whole foods diet.
[00:02:05]  He does.
[00:02:06]  I don't eat any bread.
[00:02:07]  No refined sugar.
[00:02:09]  No refined sugar.
[00:02:10]  Maybe that's why your cum stinks.
[00:02:11]  Because I'm not getting that sweet.
[00:02:12]  Maybe you need your sweet.
[00:02:14]  They're supposed to be glucose.
[00:02:15]  Preservatives.
[00:02:16]  I need some sugar.
[00:02:17]  You need some sugar in your hands.
[00:02:18]  Have a little jam, bro.
[00:02:19]  I need some jam.
[00:02:23]  I need some jam and peanut butter.
[00:02:27]  How do you say peanut butter?
[00:02:30]  How do you say peanut butter?
[00:02:31]  Peanut butter, I think.
[00:02:32]  Peanut butter?

=== Weirdest Words in Nigerian Accents (05:46) ===

[00:02:37]  What's the weirdest word to say in a Nigerian accent and an Indian accent?
[00:02:42]  Let's do it.
[00:02:44]  I know they say V's is W's.
[00:02:45]  So, like, you don't buy a vacuum, you buy a vacuum.
[00:02:52]  I have to vacuum.
[00:02:53]  I have to vacuum.
[00:02:55]  I have to.
[00:02:56]  I have to.
[00:02:57]  I have to vacuum.
[00:02:58]  Oh, have to is how to.
[00:03:00]  Yeah, because there's no V's.
[00:03:01]  It's all W's.
[00:03:01]  And W's are V's.
[00:03:02]  How do you say cow, Kav?
[00:03:05]  No, no, no.
[00:03:06]  It doesn't switch.
[00:03:07]  Everything's a W. Nah, it switches sometimes.
[00:03:10]  How to actor?
[00:03:13]  How do retarded Indians sound?
[00:03:20]  They sound extra retarded, dude.
[00:03:23]  A retarded Indian?
[00:03:26]  Wow.
[00:03:28]  Yo, you know how smart Indians are?
[00:03:29]  Even our retards speak two languages.
[00:03:33]  That's crazy.
[00:03:35]  That's crazy.
[00:03:37]  Geniuses.
[00:03:38]  Oh, shit.
[00:03:40]  I how to walk you.
[00:03:43]  I have to vacuum those nuts, but they're all over the car part.
[00:03:50]  Okay, Cass, Nigerian accent.
[00:03:53]  Go.
[00:03:54]  Nigerians have like a really big problem with like silent letters.
[00:03:59]  Okay.
[00:03:59]  So like we can't say like honorable, it's like honor.
[00:04:04]  How do you say lasagna?
[00:04:06]  I'm like my mom.
[00:04:08]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:04:08]  She says like lasagna.
[00:04:10]  But how does she say it in her accent?
[00:04:12]  I made some lasagna.
[00:04:16]  That's a good accent.
[00:04:19]  She was made gentle.
[00:04:20]  It is a peaceful ass.
[00:04:22]  It is very peaceful.
[00:04:23]  It's very peaceful.
[00:04:23]  It's a lasagna.
[00:04:25]  Yeah.
[00:04:26]  How do you speak violently with that accent?
[00:04:29]  You just say a lot of people.
[00:04:30]  There are many rapes happening in the town.
[00:04:34]  We must do something to stop these rapes.
[00:04:37]  It's a lot of teeth sucking before you say anything.
[00:04:39]  It's like, ah, ah.
[00:04:42]  And then you'll just say whatever.
[00:04:43]  Stop the rips.
[00:04:46]  Like, don't.
[00:04:46]  No more rips.
[00:04:48]  And then, like, it's just a lot of like, you know, inflections and like teeth sucking before you say anything.
[00:04:52]  That's how I know my mom's pissed off.
[00:04:53]  I'm like, oh, shit.
[00:04:54]  All right.
[00:04:54]  She means business.
[00:04:56]  Maybe that's the reason why rape is a problem because the girls don't sound that upset about it.
[00:05:00]  They're like, no, I would not like to.
[00:05:07]  I did not give consent to that.
[00:05:09]  I am not interested in doing this right now.
[00:05:12]  Is there another activity we could do?
[00:05:15]  Please kindly remove your piano.
[00:05:17]  Please, God.
[00:05:24]  Oh, Jesus Christ.
[00:05:26]  You seem to be continuing this act.
[00:05:30]  If there's a way that we could stop it from happening, that would be lovely.
[00:05:35]  I would like very much to go on with my day.
[00:05:37]  You're going into Indian.
[00:05:38]  I'm about to say that's not a more English.
[00:05:41]  I didn't even want to.
[00:05:43]  Oh, God.
[00:05:44]  All right.
[00:05:44]  So what about fucking Asian, bro?
[00:05:47]  Scottish.
[00:05:47]  I'm so bad at the Scottish accent.
[00:05:49]  It's crazy because you're good at so many accents.
[00:05:51]  Everybody else is accessing.
[00:05:52]  That's the ones I need to fucking do.
[00:05:54]  What do the Scottish say that's weird?
[00:05:58]  There's nothing that I find that they say that's that silly, goofy.
[00:06:04]  Sure, you could find some.
[00:06:10]  I truly can't think of anything.
[00:06:11]  I don't know the difference between y'all and Irish people.
[00:06:13]  I was about to say, I was lucky.
[00:06:14]  Yeah, Irish is more like ours, right?
[00:06:18]  Who the fuck is I'm thinking of Cameron?
[00:06:20]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:22]  Who the fuck is that guy?
[00:06:23]  And Scottish is more like, all right.
[00:06:28]  How you doing?
[00:06:29]  I can't.
[00:06:30]  They don't say can.
[00:06:31]  I say, I can.
[00:06:32]  I didn't.
[00:06:33]  I didn't.
[00:06:34]  Okay, so hardies are not your thing.
[00:06:36]  Yeah, but it's like the language isn't, they speak English, so it's not as fun.
[00:06:42]  Yeah.
[00:06:42]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:06:43]  I mean, I wish I had to be speaking some of the native language in Nigeria is English.
[00:06:48]  But isn't it like Igbo or Ibo, Yoruba?
[00:06:50]  Like, it's just like dialects and shit.
[00:06:52]  Okay.
[00:06:52]  Like, the official language of Nigeria is like English.
[00:06:55]  See, they get it.
[00:06:56]  Yeah.
[00:06:56]  These countries that try to keep their fucking language, bro.
[00:06:59]  Well, I mean, we were kind of enslaved.
[00:07:01]  So, like, yeah, but like, that was a good thing that came from it.
[00:07:04]  You ended up having the language the world fucking speaks.
[00:07:08]  Do you know what I mean?
[00:07:08]  Like, these, I'm going to Montreal this weekend, and these fucking idiots are fighting to keep their stupid language that nobody speaks.
[00:07:15]  Like the French look down on.
[00:07:17]  That the French don't even.
[00:07:18]  That's a great point.
[00:07:19]  They think it's like so trashy.
[00:07:20]  They're like, you guys are, you guys are like fucking apes.
[00:07:22]  Yeah, they're Long Island.
[00:07:23]  They look at them like they're Long Island.
[00:07:25]  You bastardize their language.
[00:07:26]  Yeah, Quebec Croix.
[00:07:27]  Get the fuck out of here.
[00:07:28]  What is that?
[00:07:28]  Bro, but you know they can't even write shit in not French.
[00:07:31]  And you can't even get a government job in Canada unless you speak French and.
[00:07:36]  Get over yourself.
[00:07:37]  Son, get over yourselves.
[00:07:39]  French even?
[00:07:41]  What do you mean?
[00:07:42]  Just the language.
[00:07:44]  The French is such an arrogant language.
[00:07:46]  I know you're going down.
[00:07:48]  No, it's just fucking...
[00:07:49]  It's a very arrogant language.
[00:07:50]  It just, it's mad.
[00:07:52]  It's hard, bro.
[00:07:53]  It's hard.
[00:07:54]  It's pussy.
[00:07:56]  Your face right now is actually like a normal French face.
[00:07:59]  Dude, it is pussy, bro.
[00:08:02]  Say big goods.
[00:08:04]  Fake numbers.
[00:08:09]  Yo, what's up?
[00:08:10]  This is Akash.
[00:08:11]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:08:13]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2.
[00:08:18]  Join the illest community on earth.
[00:08:20]  Unless you're a social justice lawyer, then you're just going to ruin the fun.