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May 17, 2019 - Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh
08:04
Drunken Slomosexuals
# uber black social justice warriors social justice alcohol consumption congolese heritage cultural stereotypes dallas bbq genital size hennessy buffalo wings irish men kilts magnum condoms patreon supporters scottish men sexual health

Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh dissect absurd rumors about Scottish genitalia versus Congolese heritage, jokingly labeling Scots as "the Africans of Europe." They pivot to a hypothetical alcohol-induced gender selection strategy before praising Patreon supporters "the caps" and recounting a bizarre Uber Black experience featuring Hennessy, Buffalo Wings, Magnum condoms, and a massive slushie at Dallas BBQ. Ultimately, the hosts preview an exclusive Patreon episode, warning that social justice warriors would ruin the unfiltered fun. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Irish Dicks vs Scottish Dicks 00:01:27
Yo, how Irish guys got little dicks, bro.
You heard that rumor?
They got little dicks?
You heard that rumor?
I didn't.
Yeah, Irish guys got little dicks.
Yo, they got mad little dicks.
What your part Irish dicks.
Say, I'm top half by that Scotland.
That shit is Braveheart.
So, you know how big dicks this guy got from his mama?
Scottish guys got to have such big dicks, they didn't even wear pants.
They wore kill skirts, bro.
They literally wore skirts because they tried to put their dicks in the pants.
They were like, this don't fit right.
Slapping them.
Real talk.
I got hyped when I saw my ancestry and it was 30% Congo.
And then I looked up Congo and they had the biggest biggest biggest biggest.
Congo got big dicks.
But not as big as Scottish.
Nah, we got the biggest ones.
Fam, you didn't know that the Scots are basically like the Africans of Europe.
Here it comes.
I'm being serious.
They're walking around with face paint and shit.
Tribal people always trying to fight for their freedom.
You sure it's not black?
You know what I'm saying?
They hate the English.
They hate colonizers.
Son, we are the motherfucking real talk.
We are the African.
I'm a black man.
No way you would have a drink of alcohol for your whole life.
Uber Black and Ancestry Secrets 00:06:31
I'm good.
What if it guaranteed that you were going to have a son, not a daughter?
Oh, shit.
Gun to your head.
Gun to your head.
Guarantee.
One sip.
Oh, they put him on your spot.
Like, you thinking about this, Sheriff?
I still don't think I do it just on principle.
Akash Singh, the name continues.
Your family name continues.
Yeah.
You continue your lineage.
You continue the patriarch.
Oh, continue the patriarchy.
I might have to do it.
Like, when you're in the middle of the day, all you got to do is have one sip of Tuller Murdue.
Tuller Murdue.
Teller Murdo.
I mean, I guess I would do it if.
What would you prefer to make sure that you have a boy to carry on your legacy?
One sip of alcohol, or you just suck the bottom of a dick.
Dick, dog.
What are we talking about?
What's the bottom of a dick?
Just along the vein.
Just one of these.
It's just one of these.
Oh, God.
Yo, what's the time on this head?
And this feels like it's been four hours.
We've been talking about probably sucking dick for the last 20 minutes, but we're at 149.
That's a long ass 149.
Fuck.
Yeah, pour some out.
You're pouring it out for the home.
We're not smoking weed in here.
We come here.
It smells like fucking weed and shit.
I got a strong baby.
Anything else that we got to plug?
I'm just saying.
I mean, it's mad sports shit we didn't get to.
Yeah, let's get to it.
No, we got to hit the patrons.
We got to go to some patron questions.
Shout out to the caps, yo.
Shout out to the caps.
We really got to shout the caps, man, for holding us the fuck down.
Yo, I appreciate y'all.
Whenever I see the caps of the show, they let me know.
We got a little salute.
You know what I mean?
And it's part of the...
It's part of the gang, man.
I really appreciate the caps, dude, because you're throwing it down for us.
Thank you.
Some real niggas, bro.
That was Kaza said that.
Just clarifying.
Some real niggas.
So let's see what the caps had to say, Ock.
Ryan Butterfield wanted to talk about Butterfield.
Yo, my boy, Ah.
Yo, you didn't know about...
Yo, you don't know about...
You don't know about ah?
Yo, ah.
What up?
When I'm drunk, that's awk.
Yo, ock.
Yo, ah.
Ock.
What the cash is?
Oh, is that because that's, I didn't even pick up on that.
That's what y'all call Brown People up to the bodega.
Yeah.
Ahmed.
We do.
That's short for Ahmed.
Yeah.
It's either everybody.
It's either that or Habibs.
We got to talk about.
Habibi means below.
Uber just rolled out a new Uber, the new Uber Black.
They have a quiet mode now.
So you can turn on the quiet mode for Uber.
I ordered Uber Blacks.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uber shut up.
Uber division amongst the blacks on the show.
Uber Black is more casual.
Cheap as fuck.
But come on.
I mean, never order that.
I should drive.
Will you drive too?
Yeah, man.
I don't even know what that is.
All I'm saying is they have a quiet mode for Uber now.
Alex is Andrews Uber Black.
I'm not going to lie.
And you want to give me a ride, hum?
So many layers.
Deadass.
I ordered Uber Black one time.
This is the funniest episode we've had in a while.
No bullshit.
I don't know if any of you.
I'm curious.
Hey, Deadass.
I ordered Uber Black one time, right?
And I'm not going to lie.
You know how, like, sometimes when you order Uber, they got a little Poland Spring bottles.
You got some gum or some shit.
This motherfucker had Hennessy Buffalo Wings, bro.
No.
Hennessy Buffalo Wings in the Uber.
He had kids in the back seat.
I felt very joking.
I felt very joking.
I was like, no way.
Yo, he had magnum condoms.
He had magnum condoms and he never used them.
That was crazy.
It was crazy, Sonny.
He took me right to a Dallas BBQ's.
That's a shit.
I was like, I got this as my address.
He's like, nah, this is where we're going.
I was like, what?
Shit was crazy, bro.
Yo, why do black people love Dallas BBQs?
I don't understand.
I love that shit, I love that.
Sonny, my God.
Son, I love that shit.
The Hennessey ones.
No bullshit.
You go Uber Black.
There was a 48 ounce.
I was about to break my veganism for that shit tonight.
I see you there.
I'll see you there.
Tonight.
Wait, what's the fucking big joints?
Oh, the 48-ounce slushies.
Texas.
Texas-sized slushies.
Black people are going to be there, bro.
If you want to keep black people out of an establishment, don't offer 48-ounce slushies in a martini glass.
Don't do that.
Yeah, you want to exercise.
You want a double shot?
You don't want the double shot.
This is how much black people don't trust, right?
They'll be like, don't put it in.
I want to put it in.
Just have it hanging on the glass.
Hang it on the glass so I can see.
Because you know, initially, they just put it in.
They were tasting like, this don't taste like this extra Hennessy.
Son.
Or we just take the shot straight to the head.
I got to give it up.
That's it.
That is true.
Thanks.
Son, I know these things.
I order a double.
I'm like, they say this is not strong enough.
Dallas BBQ is the only place you paid before.
Oh, fuck.
What do you mean?
You pay before.
No, you don't.
I swear to God, all my life, I've been to more Dallas BBQs than everybody on here.
Nigga.
Deadass, you go in at a certain hour.
You have to pay upon entry.
Go to the Dallas BBQs on 42nd.
Then there used to be one at Astrian University, but it closed.
Now there's one at Acerian 2nd.
Dallas BBQs used to be our shit.
We would go every single Friday.
They make you pay before.
Yo.
Make you pay before.
Yo, gosh.
What up?
He is a black man.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrantrue.
Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
Then you're just going to ruin the fun.
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