Flagrant - Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh - Drunken Slomosexuals
Aired: 2019-05-17
Duration: 08:04


=== Irish Dicks vs Scottish Dicks (01:27) ===

[00:00:04]  Yo, how Irish guys got little dicks, bro.
[00:00:07]  You heard that rumor?
[00:00:07]  They got little dicks?
[00:00:10]  You heard that rumor?
[00:00:11]  I didn't.
[00:00:11]  Yeah, Irish guys got little dicks.
[00:00:15]  Yo, they got mad little dicks.
[00:00:18]  What your part Irish dicks.
[00:00:25]  Say, I'm top half by that Scotland.
[00:00:31]  That shit is Braveheart.
[00:00:32]  So, you know how big dicks this guy got from his mama?
[00:00:36]  Scottish guys got to have such big dicks, they didn't even wear pants.
[00:00:40]  They wore kill skirts, bro.
[00:00:42]  They literally wore skirts because they tried to put their dicks in the pants.
[00:00:45]  They were like, this don't fit right.
[00:00:47]  Slapping them.
[00:00:48]  Real talk.
[00:00:49]  I got hyped when I saw my ancestry and it was 30% Congo.
[00:00:52]  And then I looked up Congo and they had the biggest biggest biggest biggest.
[00:00:54]  Congo got big dicks.
[00:00:56]  But not as big as Scottish.
[00:00:57]  Nah, we got the biggest ones.
[00:00:58]  Fam, you didn't know that the Scots are basically like the Africans of Europe.
[00:01:05]  Here it comes.
[00:01:06]  I'm being serious.
[00:01:07]  They're walking around with face paint and shit.
[00:01:10]  Tribal people always trying to fight for their freedom.
[00:01:13]  You sure it's not black?
[00:01:14]  You know what I'm saying?
[00:01:15]  They hate the English.
[00:01:17]  They hate colonizers.
[00:01:19]  Son, we are the motherfucking real talk.
[00:01:22]  We are the African.
[00:01:23]  I'm a black man.
[00:01:29]  No way you would have a drink of alcohol for your whole life.

=== Uber Black and Ancestry Secrets (06:31) ===

[00:01:32]  I'm good.
[00:01:33]  What if it guaranteed that you were going to have a son, not a daughter?
[00:01:37]  Oh, shit.
[00:01:39]  Gun to your head.
[00:01:41]  Gun to your head.
[00:01:43]  Guarantee.
[00:01:44]  One sip.
[00:01:44]  Oh, they put him on your spot.
[00:01:46]  Like, you thinking about this, Sheriff?
[00:01:49]  I still don't think I do it just on principle.
[00:01:50]  Akash Singh, the name continues.
[00:01:53]  Your family name continues.
[00:01:55]  Yeah.
[00:01:56]  You continue your lineage.
[00:01:59]  You continue the patriarch.
[00:02:01]  Oh, continue the patriarchy.
[00:02:03]  I might have to do it.
[00:02:04]  Like, when you're in the middle of the day, all you got to do is have one sip of Tuller Murdue.
[00:02:11]  Tuller Murdue.
[00:02:13]  Teller Murdo.
[00:02:16]  I mean, I guess I would do it if.
[00:02:17]  What would you prefer to make sure that you have a boy to carry on your legacy?
[00:02:21]  One sip of alcohol, or you just suck the bottom of a dick.
[00:02:25]  Dick, dog.
[00:02:25]  What are we talking about?
[00:02:27]  What's the bottom of a dick?
[00:02:29]  Just along the vein.
[00:02:39]  Just one of these.
[00:02:41]  It's just one of these.
[00:02:46]  Oh, God.
[00:02:48]  Yo, what's the time on this head?
[00:02:50]  And this feels like it's been four hours.
[00:02:52]  We've been talking about probably sucking dick for the last 20 minutes, but we're at 149.
[00:02:56]  That's a long ass 149.
[00:02:58]  Fuck.
[00:02:59]  Yeah, pour some out.
[00:03:02]  You're pouring it out for the home.
[00:03:04]  We're not smoking weed in here.
[00:03:05]  We come here.
[00:03:05]  It smells like fucking weed and shit.
[00:03:07]  I got a strong baby.
[00:03:08]  Anything else that we got to plug?
[00:03:10]  I'm just saying.
[00:03:11]  I mean, it's mad sports shit we didn't get to.
[00:03:13]  Yeah, let's get to it.
[00:03:16]  No, we got to hit the patrons.
[00:03:18]  We got to go to some patron questions.
[00:03:19]  Shout out to the caps, yo.
[00:03:20]  Shout out to the caps.
[00:03:21]  We really got to shout the caps, man, for holding us the fuck down.
[00:03:24]  Yo, I appreciate y'all.
[00:03:25]  Whenever I see the caps of the show, they let me know.
[00:03:28]  We got a little salute.
[00:03:30]  You know what I mean?
[00:03:30]  And it's part of the...
[00:03:33]  It's part of the gang, man.
[00:03:35]  I really appreciate the caps, dude, because you're throwing it down for us.
[00:03:38]  Thank you.
[00:03:39]  Some real niggas, bro.
[00:03:40]  That was Kaza said that.
[00:03:45]  Just clarifying.
[00:03:46]  Some real niggas.
[00:03:47]  So let's see what the caps had to say, Ock.
[00:03:49]  Ryan Butterfield wanted to talk about Butterfield.
[00:03:53]  Yo, my boy, Ah.
[00:03:55]  Yo, you didn't know about...
[00:03:56]  Yo, you don't know about...
[00:03:58]  You don't know about ah?
[00:04:00]  Yo, ah.
[00:04:01]  What up?
[00:04:01]  When I'm drunk, that's awk.
[00:04:03]  Yo, ock.
[00:04:04]  Yo, ah.
[00:04:05]  Ock.
[00:04:05]  What the cash is?
[00:04:06]  Oh, is that because that's, I didn't even pick up on that.
[00:04:08]  That's what y'all call Brown People up to the bodega.
[00:04:10]  Yeah.
[00:04:11]  Ahmed.
[00:04:11]  We do.
[00:04:12]  That's short for Ahmed.
[00:04:13]  Yeah.
[00:04:13]  It's either everybody.
[00:04:14]  It's either that or Habibs.
[00:04:15]  We got to talk about.
[00:04:16]  Habibi means below.
[00:04:19]  Uber just rolled out a new Uber, the new Uber Black.
[00:04:23]  They have a quiet mode now.
[00:04:25]  So you can turn on the quiet mode for Uber.
[00:04:28]  I ordered Uber Blacks.
[00:04:33]  I'm sorry.
[00:04:34]  I'm sorry.
[00:04:34]  Uber shut up.
[00:04:35]  Uber division amongst the blacks on the show.
[00:04:40]  Uber Black is more casual.
[00:04:42]  Cheap as fuck.
[00:04:43]  But come on.
[00:04:44]  I mean, never order that.
[00:04:47]  I should drive.
[00:04:48]  Will you drive too?
[00:04:48]  Yeah, man.
[00:04:49]  I don't even know what that is.
[00:04:52]  All I'm saying is they have a quiet mode for Uber now.
[00:04:54]  Alex is Andrews Uber Black.
[00:04:56]  I'm not going to lie.
[00:05:03]  And you want to give me a ride, hum?
[00:05:07]  So many layers.
[00:05:08]  Deadass.
[00:05:10]  I ordered Uber Black one time.
[00:05:12]  This is the funniest episode we've had in a while.
[00:05:13]  No bullshit.
[00:05:14]  I don't know if any of you.
[00:05:15]  I'm curious.
[00:05:16]  Hey, Deadass.
[00:05:17]  I ordered Uber Black one time, right?
[00:05:19]  And I'm not going to lie.
[00:05:22]  You know how, like, sometimes when you order Uber, they got a little Poland Spring bottles.
[00:05:25]  You got some gum or some shit.
[00:05:26]  This motherfucker had Hennessy Buffalo Wings, bro.
[00:05:30]  No.
[00:05:32]  Hennessy Buffalo Wings in the Uber.
[00:05:34]  He had kids in the back seat.
[00:05:38]  I felt very joking.
[00:05:38]  I felt very joking.
[00:05:39]  I was like, no way.
[00:05:40]  Yo, he had magnum condoms.
[00:05:44]  He had magnum condoms and he never used them.
[00:05:46]  That was crazy.
[00:05:47]  It was crazy, Sonny.
[00:05:49]  He took me right to a Dallas BBQ's.
[00:05:52]  That's a shit.
[00:05:53]  I was like, I got this as my address.
[00:05:56]  He's like, nah, this is where we're going.
[00:05:58]  I was like, what?
[00:06:00]  Shit was crazy, bro.
[00:06:01]  Yo, why do black people love Dallas BBQs?
[00:06:03]  I don't understand.
[00:06:04]  I love that shit, I love that.
[00:06:07]  Sonny, my God.
[00:06:09]  Son, I love that shit.
[00:06:10]  The Hennessey ones.
[00:06:14]  No bullshit.
[00:06:15]  You go Uber Black.
[00:06:17]  There was a 48 ounce.
[00:06:18]  I was about to break my veganism for that shit tonight.
[00:06:20]  I see you there.
[00:06:21]  I'll see you there.
[00:06:22]  Tonight.
[00:06:23]  Wait, what's the fucking big joints?
[00:06:26]  Oh, the 48-ounce slushies.
[00:06:28]  Texas.
[00:06:29]  Texas-sized slushies.
[00:06:31]  Black people are going to be there, bro.
[00:06:34]  If you want to keep black people out of an establishment, don't offer 48-ounce slushies in a martini glass.
[00:06:41]  Don't do that.
[00:06:42]  Yeah, you want to exercise.
[00:06:43]  You want a double shot?
[00:06:44]  You don't want the double shot.
[00:06:46]  This is how much black people don't trust, right?
[00:06:48]  They'll be like, don't put it in.
[00:06:49]  I want to put it in.
[00:06:51]  Just have it hanging on the glass.
[00:06:53]  Hang it on the glass so I can see.
[00:06:56]  Because you know, initially, they just put it in.
[00:06:58]  They were tasting like, this don't taste like this extra Hennessy.
[00:07:01]  Son.
[00:07:01]  Or we just take the shot straight to the head.
[00:07:04]  I got to give it up.
[00:07:04]  That's it.
[00:07:05]  That is true.
[00:07:05]  Thanks.
[00:07:06]  Son, I know these things.
[00:07:07]  I order a double.
[00:07:08]  I'm like, they say this is not strong enough.
[00:07:10]  Dallas BBQ is the only place you paid before.
[00:07:13]  Oh, fuck.
[00:07:14]  What do you mean?
[00:07:15]  You pay before.
[00:07:16]  No, you don't.
[00:07:17]  I swear to God, all my life, I've been to more Dallas BBQs than everybody on here.
[00:07:20]  Nigga.
[00:07:23]  Deadass, you go in at a certain hour.
[00:07:26]  You have to pay upon entry.
[00:07:28]  Go to the Dallas BBQs on 42nd.
[00:07:29]  Then there used to be one at Astrian University, but it closed.
[00:07:32]  Now there's one at Acerian 2nd.
[00:07:33]  Dallas BBQs used to be our shit.
[00:07:35]  We would go every single Friday.
[00:07:36]  They make you pay before.
[00:07:38]  Yo.
[00:07:39]  Make you pay before.
[00:07:41]  Yo, gosh.
[00:07:42]  What up?
[00:07:42]  He is a black man.
[00:07:49]  Yo, what's up?
[00:07:50]  This is Akash.
[00:07:51]  That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
[00:07:53]  If you want the full thing, go to www.patreon.com slash flagrantrue.
[00:07:58]  Join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior.
[00:08:02]  Then you're just going to ruin the fun.