Jennifer Welch and Brace Belden dissect the "Political Super Bowl," debating Kid Rock's halftime motives, FAA cockpit mandates, and Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 conspiracies. They expose Candace Owens' French Foreign Legion assassination theories and Greg Gutfeld's trans insults, while Welch critiques anti-Semitic claims about Brigitte Macron and mocks Gutfeld's physique. The duo explores Christianity's Egyptian roots, Taiping Rebellion parallels, and parenting strategies, concluding that modern media battles mirror historical religious schisms and personal identity struggles. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Complicated Comments on Appearance00:10:21
I think it's interesting that you thought it was okay to comment on a woman's appearance.
Really?
Well, I'm a complicated person.
It's interesting that you didn't think it was okay to comment on mine.
Oh, he's got to avoid the anti-Semitic stuff to describe me without laughter.
I always comment on a woman's appearance.
Me too, but they don't like it.
Oh, I love it.
He's gay.
Did you know I was gay?
Could I tell by looking at you?
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fabulous episode of the Fear Ann Podcast, where we have two very, very special guests.
That's right.
I'm going to do the first introduction for my good friend who is on, may or may not be on some terror watch lists right now.
Shouts out to the Turkish government.
No?
No.
Not any longer.
No.
No, no, no.
I'm a man of peace.
Okay, never mind.
I take it back.
You might know him as a man of many talents, a man of many names, piss pick granddad, racial Jake, the gay pussy eater.
Oh, my God.
Liberal Hitler as his new name.
You can have it.
Truan's very own.
I like to call him Truan's very own investigative journalist, which he absolutely despises that title more than anything else.
A man who went on a journey throughout his entire life.
That's true.
A man who went on a massive journey to Rojava to go fight against ISIS, came back, salted his union in San Francisco.
Then, well, the brewery is not doing that.
Listen, we don't get it.
But owned by a curtain.
And neither is Rojava.
As a matter of fact, it seems like everything I touches turns to shit.
But Brace Belden, ladies and gentlemen, very excited to have him here.
And ladies and gentlemen, to my left.
Better be better than his one of the most beautiful, gorgeous women.
On top of that, one of the most accomplished political commentators of our generation.
She's the host of the I've Had It podcast.
She also had a profession way before this.
She left all that behind.
She doesn't even need it anymore.
She is now here doing politics.
I've had it.
She does it all.
She's very famous in the gay community.
A lot of people know her.
Everybody knows her.
She's famous with your mothers.
Yes.
Right?
She has raised a family.
I have.
You've raised a family.
Two beautiful children.
Thank you.
Beautiful children.
Thank you.
And you've done a hell of a job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hell of a job.
I haven't fought ISIS.
No, you haven't done that.
But I fought Carpola.
That's right.
In the state of Oklahoma, you live in a red state.
Which is kind of like fighting ISIS.
Excuse me.
No, it is.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome to the podcast, Jennifer Welch.
Thank you.
Thank you for having us.
Sorry, he gave you such a wonderful intro.
I had to try it.
I think it's interesting that you thought it was okay to comment on a woman's appearance.
Really?
Well, I'm a complicated.
Or it's interesting that you didn't think it was okay to comment on mine.
Oh, well.
You just got to avoid the anti-Semitic stuff because you don't have to describe me without laughing.
I always comment on a woman's appearance.
Me too, but they don't like it.
Really?
Oh, I love it.
He's gay.
Did you know I was gay?
Could I tell by looking at you?
Yes.
Yeah.
That's new.
Is that wrong?
No.
Did you get a gay Darping?
No, that's interesting.
It wasn't a pig.
It was like, I don't usually get that.
He doesn't have a gay face.
Was it maybe the outfit that I was wearing?
Yes, but that's also like...
It's the jacket.
But he would shut that motherfucker off most of the time.
You really think so?
Yeah, well, right now he's kind of dressed like Latino, but it's.
It's his bad bunny look.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
You're having bad bunny today.
Thank you very much for saying that.
But I was looking at old Bad Bunny photos, actually.
We were on the way over here.
I don't know why.
It's kind of gay.
No, he's not.
That's actually he used to, he started looking like me, okay?
I know that that's a ridiculous thing to say because he's an infinitely more successful and way cooler person.
But I've had this look for many years at this point.
Bad Bunny's old look was disastrous.
And then he grew his hair out.
And then he started, you know, people started saying, oh, you kind of look like Bad Bunny.
I was like, oh, great.
But I was like, let me ask you this.
Do you have any evidence at all that Bad Bunny knows who you are?
No, no.
I'm saying it's totally random that he went in that direction.
I wasn't saying I influenced him or anything.
I'm just saying he has no idea who I am.
No, of course not.
He knows.
Are you going to watch the Bad Bunny or the Kid Rock Super Bowl?
Kid Rock.
I'll be honest, I am going to watch the Kid Rock one.
Wait, Kid Rock's doing his own Super Bowl?
Turning point is having their own Super Bowl.
Oh, my God.
Erica Kirk got another babysitter for it.
I cannot.
Warning continues.
My God.
The lineup is incredible.
So, Hassan, they really want him to be homosexual.
Like, people are desperately.
The gays want him.
They want him to be gay, but he's just, he couldn't be farther from gay than he could be farther.
No, he's very, very, very straight.
He just says that because he's worried that, like, if I, if I encroached in his territory, he would never, he would not have a single twink look at him ever again.
It's not true.
It's not true.
I'm very confident in myself.
And this man, not everybody likes, not every gay man likes a man who's 6'4 with big muscles and beautiful facial structure.
Really?
Not everybody likes that.
I've got any that don't like that.
Well, you know what?
They're out there.
I'll say this.
Some of them also are willing to accept other things.
Exactly.
That's it.
Very well put.
Very well put.
Willing to accept.
Exactly.
So I don't know if you guys know this, but Jen and Pumps are going to the GLAD Awards.
We're nominated for a Glad Award.
Rather, they're nominated for a Glad Award.
Best podcast episode.
And it's called, what's the name of that episode, Kylie?
Gay Excellence.
You know, hold on.
Just I'm gay and I'm not nominated for shit.
I'm a better ally than you are, gay.
Clearly, I'm a greater ally than he is, homo.
That's true.
Clearly, because your gays have kind of, the gay, gay guys have kind of betrayed our cause.
Yes.
The ally cause.
Oh, wait, in what way?
Well, I mean, I feel like there's just been a lot of concessions made to like the right wing.
Famously, a lot of guys in the administration are gay.
Yeah.
And I, and sometimes I feel like these are the demon queens.
Yeah.
Oh, interesting.
These are the demon queens.
Like, I think you have like the gays who do what they need to do.
And then you have the demon queens, like that old queen that runs the Kennedy Center and drove it into the ground.
Yeah.
And then you have the DL demon queens.
That's the Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio.
I believe JD Vance.
He thinks JD Vance is a prostitute, which I have to concede he totally is.
But there's a DL Demon Queen.
Josh Hawley.
Oh, yeah.
That guy has gay face.
Yeah, yeah.
He has gay face.
And he has gay pecs.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a little outside my gender.
Josh Hawley has gay body.
Have you seen the pecs?
Have you seen the image of him trying to kiss his wife?
Yes, like a K-drama.
And then have you further seen the engagement photo announcement of him standing in the end zone with Harrison Butker, the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, the guy that said, women, you need to embrace your role as homemakers.
And there is this photograph of the two of them that looks like Austin in a twink in the end zone, dolled to the nines, announcing your engagement.
It's the gayest thing I've ever seen.
He is in love with Harrison Butt Kicker or Butt Kiss or whatever.
It's fucking fuck that guy.
I hope he misses every fucking field goal.
Yeah, you agree.
I will.
I agree.
Anyway, Hassan, I was on the red carpet at the Grammys.
I got to interview Paris Hilton and Reba McIntyre.
A little name-dropping.
Yeah, Gloria Estefan.
You know, I've named it too.
Who's the Michelle?
Don Lemon.
No, I'm not.
Don.
No, he don't lie.
You couldn't get Dane.
I couldn't get Don, but I couldn't get it.
I saw Don Lemon.
Don was beating us.
Yeah, Will IM, who's really into AI, which made for a very awkward conversation.
Amazing.
But anyway, during the Glad Awards, they were like, you know, Hassan, is Hassan going to come to the Glad Awards?
And I told them he's not allowed.
I said, no.
I would go to the Glad Awards.
I told him, yeah, but he would steal my thunder.
That's crazy that you literally so selfishly, I had to cut him from the roster.
I said, I'm sorry, you can't make it.
You blacklisted the Glad Awards.
I told the guy from the Glad Awards, I said, Hassan's very busy that week.
And he says the word in private.
Yes, he does.
Well, that's, I absolutely started saying, I said, I pulled Anthony.
I don't think they would stop the, I don't think that would stop them from inviting me.
You don't think so?
You think that would send?
He's done a lot.
Okay, is it true, Hassan, that you big-time Don Lemon?
Like, he called you to have you on, and then you kind of big-timed it McNordis call/slash text.
Yes or no?
Where is this coming from?
How do you know this?
Huh?
I just heard about it.
That's crazy.
Did he collect Call You From Jail?
Listen, I am very good friends with Don Lemon.
Don Lemon's husband is my realtor in New York.
I know things straight from the fucking horses.
Maybe.
What do you think?
The horses are.
Did you big time Don Lemon?
Yes or no?
I did not big time him.
We had a scheduling conflict and it didn't work out.
But we were, but this was long before he became the press hero.
Right.
But this is.
How much do you regret that decision now?
No, I mean, I'm still answering your calls.
We're still working on making something happen.
Do you want me to help you?
Yeah, I'd love to have Don Lemon.
Is he still in the Hoos gal?
The Dominant Pilot Strategy00:15:45
In the what?
In the Hoosk?
In the clink.
No, no, he's out.
He's out.
He should have done a couple weeks ago.
He's back in New York.
Yeah.
I think, yeah.
He comes out like Lula.
That's what I'm saying.
Get in there, like, get jacked.
Did you see all the memes, though?
They were so great of Don with his husband Tim.
I mean, fabulous memes.
Have you seen it on your gay TikTok?
No, I'm not sure.
I feel like we have schizophrenic people on my Instagram.
His Instagram.
We don't have to tell her, but we don't have to tell her.
Our Instagram Explorer pages are.
Well, yours is worse than mine.
It's really not.
I got a Charlie Kirk Spanish yesterday.
What is your first one?
I don't know.
Let's all do a reveal.
Is there a way to throw to you or something so we can look at it?
Let's see.
Because I want to send Austin.
Yep.
Mine's excellent.
I've got tennis players, Therazoron, interior design, French Bulldogs.
Wow, that is actually a side kind of answer.
Look at that.
Look at how great that is.
Let's see more.
Austin, remember the song I sent you?
Yes.
That's what, like, that's my, that's my Explorer page.
I built it brick by brick, and it's all like planes.
What's the deal with planes?
I'm a big plane guy.
Oh, you are?
I'm a big plane guy.
I love planes.
What about pilots?
You know, I haven't, I'm not really like a big, I'm more of a flight attendant guy.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I really like flight attendants.
Pilots are there's a darkness.
I feel like I feel like I want to be the pilot.
You know, I want to be the captain.
I've had a fantasy.
You're a dom.
I would be the captain and then I would be mile-high club with the flight attendants.
I'm not going to be able to my flight attendants.
Yeah.
In a dominating sort of way.
100%.
That's your jam, isn't it?
It is my jam.
Yeah.
Right.
It is absolutely my jam.
One day I'm going to career change.
I'm going to know why.
Super hot pilot.
You get on a plane.
So we go on.
You're flying 10, 12 hours somewhere.
Super hot pilot.
I mean, hot air.
Hey, hey, hey.
Okay, hypothetical.
You get on a plane, super hot pilot, hot as shit, 12-hour flight.
People are eyeing each other.
He goes out to go to the restroom.
He's eyeing you.
He's big.
He's dominant.
All of the things.
And then he turns on autopilot and he's kind of like, do you go or not?
You're in first class, fluffed up in a chair.
And the dominant pilot wants to be.
Dominant, hot as balls, 12 out of 10 pilot.
And he nudges.
For the first time.
You know what?
In air.
You know what?
Mile-high bottoming.
Absolutely.
He's lying.
Yeah.
Because I think, I'll be honest, I think that even you guys would probably say yes to that.
What a fucking story.
Exactly.
Plus, I can sue him.
Yeah.
This guy could have crashed us.
The Malaysian Airlines thing?
That's all that guy was doing.
Where is that plane?
Oh, my God.
It is in the ocean.
I read a lot about this.
Yeah, it's in the ocean.
It's in the ocean.
Was it a suicide mission?
The guy, one of the pilots, I think he turned off the air.
Everybody went to sleep forever.
And he just drove that motherfucker out.
Yeah, so this is what happens.
So in a plane, you can turn off the packs, which are the oxygen pass.
And pilots have access to supplemental oxygen on their own.
So they have oxygen in the cockpit.
But you can turn off the packs, and people in the back won't even know what hit them and they'll slowly just die.
It's kind of a peaceful way to go.
No, they all just, so basically, what I think happened is he turned off his transponder, which is like a thing that transmits a signal to the air traffic control so they can see you on the map.
Same thing what happened on 9-11.
The terrorists turned off the transponder.
So this guy turns off the transponder, turns off path, turns off the packs, everybody dies in the back.
He does this at the same time that one of the pilots uses the restroom, right?
So he's the only one in the cockpit.
So you lock that pilot out?
Lock the pilot out, turn off the packs, everybody suffocates back there.
Can't do shit.
Can't get in the cockpit.
It's like reinforced Kevlar.
Yeah.
And then he just flies it slowly until it runs out of fuel and just flies it peacefully into the ocean and kills everybody.
Do you think he's alive when that happens or do you think he's cut his oxygen?
I think he's alive.
I think he's alive.
Because he flew it quite a ways.
Yeah, it was flown for hours.
I mean, but there is a chance that he set a waypoint on the autopilot and it just eventually just kind of slowly crashed as well.
He could have killed himself that way.
Because it was in the middle of the ocean that it went down.
Yeah, so it could have just literally just he directed it to the middle of the ocean.
What's the layer of, I mean, I get suicide, but the homicidal, like mass killing of everybody else.
Well, that happened in Europe not too long ago, too.
Yeah, the German wings.
Yeah, he goes, the co-pilot goes to the bathroom.
He's like, mountain time.
Yeah, pound it.
And so.
That one's horrible.
This is one thing.
I mean, we give the U.S. government a lot of shit on this podcast.
But I will say, one of the best things that they did, the FAA mandated that the pilot, not one singular pilot, they did this right after 9-11.
Not one singular pilot can be alone in the cockpit at the time.
This is why every time you're on a flight, they do the whole charade.
The flight attendants come and act as a body shield in case somebody's going to rush the cockpit.
One flight attendant goes in, one pilot comes out because after 9-11, I'm sure they had intelligence to suggest that, you know, one pilot, nobody can be alone at the cockpit at any given time.
Yeah, they're trying to notice that, by the way, what?
Yes.
Wait, yes.
I know what they're trying to do.
They're trying to build a reinforced door between the.
No, no, no.
They're also trying to lower that restriction.
Why?
One pilot.
What do you mean, why?
It's cheaper.
How is it cheaper?
They still have to be there.
I'll be honest, I could operate a commercial jet for myself.
No, I get it.
It's cheaper to fly.
It's cheaper to fly with one pilot the entire way.
So they're trying to lower that restriction to certain flights where there's only one pilot in the cockpit.
And shouts out to Sarah Nelson, who is the head of the.
I have no idea.
Oh, she's incredible.
I was the flight attendants union.
Like, she's the head of the unit.
She's a tough lady.
That's not a serious thing.
There's no way.
No, no, this is a real dog.
I'm telling you, what do you mean?
That's like a real initiative that their airliners have been advocating for to lower costs so they don't have to hire as many pilots.
I don't understand.
They want to lower the contingency of having two pilots in the cockpit at all times, and they're trying to loosen that restriction.
And the last line of defense is the labor unions, once again.
I will say that means I'm one step closer to my hero fantasy.
That's of you taking over.
How many flying hours do you have?
Well, technically, zero.
Okay.
But you said technically.
But FAA recognizes the hours that I flew in those flight simulators.
So I've got about probably about 15 hours on the 737-800 and about 15 to 20 hours on the A320.
So I've got about 30, and I'm about to put in four hours on the 747 this weekend.
FAA certified full-motion training simulators, they recognize those hours in those training simulators as real flights.
Is this something you do like for joy?
Yes.
Yeah, he's super autistic about it.
You're doing butch.
It's a really butch development in your character.
It is, yeah.
Have you read these stats?
They asked a group of heterosexual men.
Yeah, do you think you could land a commercial airline?
And it was so ridiculously high.
It was, yes.
Have you seen this?
These things pretty much land themselves.
It's true.
But I don't think I could do it, but I think that I could.
I think, I mean, I'm not saying I couldn't do it.
You can give it a good go.
I want to say that I had gotten an argument with the chatter about this because they were telling me, Austin, and you, I'm one of the heterosexuals.
Well, I'm not a heterosexual.
What the fuck?
I'm so sorry.
That was such a mistake.
I'm a homosexual, but I answered, I answered that in the poll.
I said I could do it.
And I even signed up.
There was this video, like they were testing people, and I wanted to go in there and do it.
Anyway, I'm one of the people that said, yes, you're right.
The planes are automated, but there's a lot of intervention that you need to.
You would not be able to do it.
Even if it's automated, you wouldn't be able to do it because there's so many things.
It's very different things you must do.
Of course, first of all, anything is possible.
Absolutely.
Anything is possible with God.
I am so confident.
I am so confident that I could do it.
His brother is a pilot for a Cessna.
My brother has his pilot's license.
He has his pilot's license.
We were in a situation where his brother and I, Murat, were on a plane together and both pilots died at the same time for some reason.
Or Hassan was the terrorist.
Yeah, or something.
Which would make sense.
Yeah, which is a handy.
Or maybe they had diarrhea.
Right, something like dysentery.
Dysentery.
Completely dehydrated.
Dizzy.
Can't see.
Down, down.
They ate, yeah, whatever.
I believe that I am more qualified to fly that commercial jet than his brother because his brother has only been trained on those little GA planes and he has no idea how to operate and has zero understanding of the systems of a 70-80.
This is the brother whose wedding you didn't go to?
Yes, yes.
And also, my brother who has built that plane that he's talking about.
Oh, because he lived in Oklahoma City.
Yeah, and he works for Boeing.
Yeah.
He literally just because he built it doesn't mean he fucking knows how to fly it.
I guarantee.
This is delusions of grandeur.
No, you've been in the real flight simulator that you had.
It's like the whole thing.
Yes, the whole thing.
Like, okay, who are you taking?
Every stage of flight.
I am straight up taking off.
Every stage of flight.
I'm not saying this for religious reasons that I'm not letting your brother land this plane.
I'm not.
I just want to be clear.
I'm not saying it for religious reasons.
Well, it's interesting.
What I will say is that I am trusting somebody who is who has cared enough about the art of flying to move up to something bigger than that.
He builds the fucking plane.
I hate small planes.
It was interesting.
Hassan asked.
He builds the big planes.
They don't build them well.
Famously.
Boeing.
Yeah, they've had some problems.
That is partying against him.
I would argue that that whole case, I think Boeing's cleaned up their act.
They're very safe planes.
Well, the problem with that is they're downsizing.
That's why they're always cutting corners.
And that's precisely the reason why I'm trying to take place in the production side.
So you don't know much about me, probably, but I'm a recovering liberal.
I was really into like liberalism.
You get liberal Hitler.
It's really good.
That shit is good.
You like to live out in your rental robot.
But what I've learned is that the only thing keeping you safe is like regulations.
Like the only thing keeping you safe is regulations.
Like corporations will do everything to maximize profit.
So like you, that's the only thing.
Like they, the only reason you're safe is because of regulations.
Which is why the Democrats just start calling them consumer protections.
Yes.
Because they are every brand that the consumer protections.
They're really protections.
Yeah.
I've got a strategy for those of you out there.
When you are trying to seek compensation from a company, you need to leverage the fear that they have of getting sued against them.
Let me give you an example.
Okay, let's see.
Let's say you have a rental car.
You've rented a car from Hertz or something like that, right?
And you're like, oh, fuck, I want to return it to another location.
Well, Hertz is going to charge you $300.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Right?
They're going to charge you $300 because you want to return it to another location.
Why don't you call up Hertz and say, you know what, Hertz?
It just feels like I hear a weird sound or something in the car.
And I don't feel safe driving this vehicle.
I'd like to return it to the closest rental car station.
What are they going to say?
No.
Have you done this?
Yes, many times.
And it works?
Every time.
Every time.
What if you can play this further?
And any product that I use temporarily, I can just call whoever's doing it and be like, I don't know about that.
The only rental cars, and the reason I feel completely shameless about this is rental car companies are some of the most predatory institutions.
Horrible.
I have a great title for your memoir.
What's that?
How to land a commercial airplane and skirt the system by Austin Show.
That's it.
I love that.
It's fantastic.
Are people going to drag it?
I have another one.
Are people going to drive another suggestion?
Okay.
Gay con man.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's the one I think.
But I'm just saying, try it, folks.
If you're like in a pinch and you're like, oh, fuck, I booked a ticket out of Miami instead of Fort Lauderdale.
I don't want to drive all the way up there again.
You know what I mean?
Oh, shit.
Or at the end of every month, just dispute every single credit card.
That's what I've been doing for like five or six years.
I didn't buy that.
What are you crazy?
My wallet gets stolen often because I'm too trusting of a person.
So they're punishing me for being nice and leaving my wallet place out.
I want them to be on record here and say that every time I've done this, I've been seriously concerned about my safety.
Of course.
No.
I've been seriously concerned about my safety.
And some of these rental cars, they're just not safe.
No.
And I felt very concerned.
So I had to return it early.
And I don't think I should be penalized for that.
And the reason it smells like cigarettes is because I was smoking, which is a way that I deal with anxiety, which is a mental illness that I have.
And it is illegal to prosecute me for doing that.
I fight for the consumer.
And I think more, I think as consumers, if we really collect, he disagrees with me on this.
I fight for it.
I don't disagree with you on this.
I just think that you make it seem like you're a civil rights advocate.
And I'm going to be honest.
I feel like if you were going to make it as a civil rights advocate in 2026, being like nickel and diming your way out of charges from like Hertz Rent a car is probably the way to go.
If you took this far, like a little bit further, you probably could be the most famous anger.
You brought up the CIA's like or the OSS's sabotage manuals, right?
To be like, see, this is how they were combating fascism initially in Europe.
Oh, you might be a genius.
I'm telling you.
That's crazy.
I'm telling you.
No, the OSS.
We looked at the sabotage manual and it was about like lighting office buildings on fire.
I'll be honest, have you heard of this manual?
So like in Nazi-controlled France, I believe the OSS manual was written as like a guideline for people to sort of disrupt the mechanisms of fascism.
It's basically pranks.
Right, right.
Little things, like subtle things.
Yeah, they were dumping sugar into the cement to make sure that the building couldn't have a foundation.
Not like offering petty grievances that big businesses.
Yeah, but that was in the 40s.
We've sort of modernized the manual, right?
Yeah.
And now it manifests in, hey, I have a, I hear a clunking sound in my ears.
It's manifested into Karenism.
Yes, it's Karenism.
It's white hat Karenism.
White hat Karenism.
Resort fee.
Like, what the fuck would you show up on?
Resort fee.
The fuck, $35?
I thought that was the charge for the resort.
And Mamdani is taking a play out of my fucking playbook.
He is banning surprise fees for hotels and stuff.
You should, when you go to a hotel, you are a family that worked your ass off to leave New York City on vacation.
I'm trying to visit my daughter's polygon or a skilled pilot gay man.
Gay man.
Entertaining his tween.
Exactly.
It's either way.
That's right.
And I budgeted for this vacation in New York, and all of a sudden there's a surprise fee.
All of a sudden, I can't afford to eat.
And you can't afford the $26.
$36 per night?
Yes.
Okay, no bubblegums, Times Square.
Yeah.
Exactly.
No, no, no.
How about we get a can of Tringles?
We all have one.
It's true.
The thing is a cup.
If you are a business, or you should not be, part of your business model should not be conning consumers out of extra fees.
Vacation Budget Surprises00:11:59
I mean, that is literally what they do.
No, not all of them.
Think about how to make money in the first place.
I mean, they just work all that.
Yeah, you work all that for them and they only pay you.
But I believe that.
I believe I'd be very successful.
There's been a recently he was asked by, you were talking with somebody in Qatar asked you why he doesn't run for office or something like this.
Oh, Giannis Verfernakis.
Like, he had a good time doing it.
Yeah, no, he literally did say that.
He was like, I did it, and it was not good.
Yeah.
So I've actually in the comment section, top comment.
Somebody said, I would.
Oh, you're in my replies.
I was looking for a reason.
I was suggested by his community to be the one that would run for office.
Will you?
You know, at this moment in time, I cannot confirm my plans to run for office.
For 28.
Right, 28.
I'm not old enough and 28, but 32, I'll be old enough to run for office.
That was the meanest fucking thing you've said in the whole podcast.
You're not old enough to run for president.
How do you think that makes Hassan feel?
No, no, no, no.
I'm younger than him.
You are?
No, he's not.
No, I know.
Look how shocked she looked.
She was not.
She was not.
He's 37 today.
Okay.
Happy birthday.
Not 37.
What's wrong with being 37?
34.
Yeah, you're 36.
You keep 30.
See, I thought you were younger than me.
I've been doing a lot of experimental peptides.
Okay, were you going to show us regularly?
Hassan, were you going to show us?
We can watch this.
I mean, the time has passed, but my Explorer page I built, Break Brick.
I'm going to keep us on track.
And one of the things that I love personally is Christian musicians.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That's my worst nightmare.
Oh, I love it.
I love it.
I love the mentality behind it.
I love the work that goes into it.
I love the art, honestly.
I'm a big fan.
So let's hear.
This is the one I sent to Austin.
I was like, look at this shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what?
You know what?
Okay, we can pause it.
We don't need to hear that.
Can I be honest?
I think we need to start calling people like that.
I'm going to be honest.
Actually, I'll keep, I'll think my next thought.
I'll think my next thought.
But I'm not exactly.
I'm getting a little bit of gender confusion by the hair.
Yeah.
I'm just going to put it like that.
It's just.
So does he have a gun in his hand?
Yeah, he does.
Because, like, you know, I think there's...
He's not for real.
I mean, clearly this is.
No, it's.
There's things happening.
I listen.
I also watch a lot of homophobic Christian round by young white man.
There's a huge one.
I believe one of the guys I follow did have his child taken away from him because he had also had his child rap about things of this nature.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, is it the 13-year-old?
No.
Yeah, the 13-year-old was taken from his father.
No, no, no.
But that just proves how dedicated he is to homophobia.
No matter how you follow the topic, we do like to see someone be passionate.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
New conspiracy.
I know who took it.
It was Rock Nation.
It was like, yeah, yeah.
This kid is good.
Snooks Kid is good because that one I saw and he's like, oh, I'm 13 and I hate the gays.
He rhymed very well.
Yeah, he did.
I mean, it was fire.
It was going viral on Twitter.
But his dad, his dad.
So are you familiar with kind of MAGA rap world at all?
No.
Forgiato Blow.
Forgiato Blow.
So you know how Trump just likes showtunes and classical music and stuff like that?
Like Mariah Carey or not Mariah Carey, but like he likes, you know, sort of like.
He likes Andrew Lloyd Weber.
Yes, he loves Andrew Lloyd Weber.
Because he's an old queen.
Yeah.
He wanted to be a Broadway.
Because of his move to Florida, there has been sort of a Floridian turn to the Trump to Trump world.
And Tom McDonald, I think, is a great example of this.
As big as Elza, he's Canadian.
So he's not like.
A lot of these gentlemen are RND Canadian.
Forgiato Blow is spiritually Canadian, even though he's from Florida.
He is very much from Florida.
But Forgiato Blow also told someone I know that he's like, I don't care about Trump at all.
It's just all these kind of older white people started giving me money once I started rapping about how cool he is.
But like Tom McDonald, for example, is incredible.
Yeah, he's a really good Charlie Kirk song.
Wait, let's give it a listen.
Let's give it a listen.
Yeah, I think it's time.
I can't believe he's not at halftime.
Oh, what the hell?
Oh, they didn't.
Wait.
This isn't him.
They snubbed him.
They got paid rock, but not the same.
The gay man in the commercial before the video.
Shot.
Oh, Bucket has.
Yesterday, in a violent act of cowardice, an assassin took Charlie Kirk's life.
My heart goes out to his wife, his two children, his millions of loyal supporters.
All proceeds from the song will be done.
Kind of sounds like McAmore.
Whacklemore.
He's looking up.
That's very good.
Oh my God.
That's disturbing.
Oh, it's very much.
Okay, question.
Regarding Charlie Kirk's assassination, the text messages that the FBI produce where it's like, my love, manufactured or real.
Think they're so stupid that I'm like, oh, they're so they're so tactical.
Yeah, they're totally cooked them.
I think that they're real.
No, I think they're the real.
But I do.
You think they're the real text manager?
Because I saw, I, it, when I first saw it and he was like referring to like uh officer squad cars or something, referring to cop cars as like uh you know officer-bound vehicles or whatever.
Like he was doing tactical cop speak.
I was like, oh, this is like a 45-year-old FBI agent wrote this, right?
But then there was a video that came out of him getting into like a like an altercation and talking to a cop where I think he was like a witness to a car crash or something.
Oh, yeah, I've seen that.
And he was talking to a cop, and I was like, oh, he's just Mormon.
He just talks like that.
No, he literally was talking to the cop like years prior to this incident.
He was talking to a cop and he was using similar language.
I will say that the so today there was, unfortunately, another defection of a minor TPUSA personality from TPUSA over to the Candace Owens camp.
Oh, I have listening.
Another clandestine opposition.
I don't like to talk about women like this, especially to women.
Okay.
But I would, I would, I would commit minor acts of genocide for 10 minutes with Candace Owens.
Really?
Oh, major.
I mean, I would, for a mutual massage card.
Oh, you hold it under zero pressure.
You went from minor to major acts.
I mean, I just want to be honest here.
I think she is beautiful.
Scrumptious.
Is she like number one in the spank bank for you?
Oh, there is no spank bank.
I don't do that to get my cheat.
It's like a cheat thing.
But I do, I do.
I think about her fondly often.
Yeah.
And I watch her as often as I can.
Do you?
Yeah, because she's the most famous crazy person.
Yeah.
I think.
What is she?
Has she yet linked Bridget Bardot to the within days?
She linked it.
Because it was, because her original thing was, okay, Charlie was killed by Israel, by like the Jews.
But then, well, it was Israel.
And then it was also like maybe just Jews within TPUSA, especially crypto Jews who are pretending to be Protestants.
That's a big, that's a big in the neo-Nazi circles is suspected Jews.
Suspected Jews.
And sometimes they'll be like, oh, because, you know, this Christian married a Jewish woman.
So therefore they're basically, you know, Jewish now because their children are Jewish.
But sometimes there's no connection whatsoever.
And they'll just be like, no, that person is actually secretly Jewish.
Sometimes even if someone has a German last name, a Jewish Takia.
So she was like, okay, it was Israel that did it.
But then she was looking at the footage more.
I love what she looks at because I love when she's interested in something.
She looks at the footage more and she notices that several members of what turned out to be, I believe, the rugby team of the school were wearing maroon shirts.
And she was like, actually, these are members of the French Foreign Legion.
Yes.
Deployed by Emmanuel Macron.
And of course, his, you know, gender non-conforming wife, let's say, Regit.
In order, I don't know why they would kill Charlie instead of Candace, but she also says that she was warned.
She kind of dropped this, but she was also like, I was warned cryptically by a TPUSA higher up that I was going to be assassinated.
And then Charlie Kirk was assassinated.
What about the most recent one about that Charlie's a time traveler?
Well, okay, what's going on there?
So she has trouble.
So Candace first came to prominence because she made a doxing website, but she didn't know what the word doxing meant.
And this was during an incident that I'm sure both these gentlemen were involved with, possibly on opposite sides, called Gamergate, where gamers went crazy.
I don't know how to explain it more than that, but gamers went crazy.
Yeah, they just got really invested in like an Armenian woman by the name of Anita Sarkassian who they thought was destroying gaming by making it more women-friendly.
I mean, she was.
She's Armenian.
She was.
What was this called?
I'm going to text my son.
Ask your son.
Ask your son which side he was on.
What side?
I don't even know.
I'm kidding.
She wasn't destroying Gamer.
I think most people don't know, but it was really big for crazy.
No, because he's very into gaming.
What side were you on during Gamergate?
During Gamergate.
Ask your son that.
The one that's a fan of mine might know.
But even that's a fan of yours.
If he says he's on the side of the gamers, you got to have a talk with him.
I'll tell you this.
He's good now.
When this was actually occurring, when did this happen?
Like 2014 onward until like 2020.
I had just, yes.
I believe, because I remember I had just, I had been on heroin for a number of years, and I stopped being.
He did heroin?
It's bad.
He did everything.
I can't imagine that heroin is like a, people do it because it doesn't feel good.
Exactly.
There's got to be something.
How did you get off of it?
Did you take Suboxin?
Suboxan.
I have taken Suboxone to lesser and greater effect.
Are you on it now?
Suboxin?
No, no, no.
This is many years.
Are you abstinence completely for over a decade?
Did you quit cold turkey?
No alcohol.
No, no, no, no.
Hassan tries to get me to drink a lot, but and he sends me sometimes.
Like he'll send me Kaiser.
Do you relapse for him?
Hell no.
No.
So, you know, in the program, they would probably say people, places, and things that would cause you to relapse.
So Hassan would be a trigger for you.
If you hang out in a bar long enough, you're going to take a drink.
That's right.
If you hang out with Hassan long enough, he's going to inject you with heroin.
I did forget.
I did forget one time, and I did offer him an alcoholic beverage.
I don't care about it.
I actually just like heroin.
So it's like if someone offers me a beer, I'm like, no, And they don't even make it anymore.
They make fans.
Well, good for you.
But there's not many people just hanging around with heroin, are there?
Okay, the time travel.
It's rare now.
It's because it's from the earth.
It's natural.
But I came out of that.
I had sort of been in a fugue state for a number of years, and I had missed a lot of events.
Like when Occupy Wall Street happened, I was like, I don't know what's going on.
I'm like, where is that guy?
Yeah, I missed it completely.
But when I came out, it was right when Gamergate was happening.
And I started trying to pay attention to it, but I'd missed so many things in the past like four or five years that had happened to make people go crazy that I could not make head nor tails of it.
Gamergate and Defamation Lawsuits00:06:42
But it did have, and since then, I've learned about it, but it had, I would say, long-lasting, insane effects upon large groups of mostly online, but still somewhat influential people, especially on the right.
So like a lot of the people kind of in the Elon Musk sphere who like Elon Musk gets his kind of like right-wing ideas from came from this gamer civil war.
David DePeepee was a gamer gay.
Who the fuck is David DePeepee?
The gay lover of Paul Pelosi.
Oh, who tried to do, who tried to do facial?
Who, by the way, has been pictured walking around normal?
What, Paul Pelosi?
Yeah.
So I just, I was under the impression that he wasn't up to date.
It had hurt him a lot, but I think he's doing better now.
But he's also somebody who 12 steps would help.
And if you're watching, we will Paul.
We are going to, we can go.
He's a big advocate for drunk driving.
Yes.
He loves drunk driving.
But at the age of 94, I think.
Well, at that point, it could just be natural.
Are you just driving?
Yeah, right.
But Gamergate really drove a lot of people.
I don't know.
Why were we talking about Gamergate in the first place?
The time traveler of Charlie Curry.
Yes.
And so Candace Owens, when she kind of makes her splash in the political world, she had created a website that just was able to fight online harassment, but it was just a doxing website.
And everyone got mad at her.
So both sides of Gamergate got mad at her.
And they both kept using the word doxing.
But she had never heard that word before.
And so she assumed that both sides of this online conflict were actually faking having a conflict and were actually united secretly in attacking Candace Owens, if that makes sense.
And so her, you can kind of almost extrapolate every view she has on events since then about that.
She'll misunderstand something very basic or like do zero investigative work and instead create a Baroque conspiracy that she is somehow at the center of.
Yeah.
I will say there's an angle where she might have been poisoned by black mold.
And I think that probably plays a little bit of a role in her like mental faculties not being all there.
Candace Owens also, you know, back in the day in high school, successfully sued the Connecticut Board of Education for being victim of racialized attacks that caused her to develop an eating disorder.
And then the Gamergate stuff happened.
Do you think she believes her conspiracy theories or is she just putting this on to Grift?
It's hard to say because either one is appealing.
Because if she is putting on to Grift, she's doing such an amazing job.
Staying in character.
Yeah.
I think she's like, it's like Erica Kane from All My Children.
Are y'all too young to know about Erica Kane from All My Children?
No.
Well, I know what All My Children is, but I've never seen it.
She's a great soap opera in the 80s.
And Erica Kane was the epicenter of this show.
And she was nominated for Emmy, Daytime Emmy after daytime Emmy after daytime Emmy for years.
She never won.
Erica Kane was snubbed.
Her real name is Susan Lucci.
And she just played this diabolical character on All My Children.
It's excellent.
Y'all miss the soap opera.
It was great stuff, soap operas in the 80s.
Oh, you still have them around a little bit.
Yeah, Candace Owens.
My people have been taking over the soap opera field.
Yeah, and the Latinxes.
Oh, they do?
Yeah.
Koreans, the Latinxes and the Turks are dominating the soap opera field.
At one point, a plan last year where a bunch of TPUSA surrounded people wanted to do a reality show, like a conservative content house.
Oh, they did a show.
With a praiser you guys.
They didn't?
Xavier, the gay black guy.
I love Xavier.
Yeah.
Xavier.
I love this guy.
And I know who else is on it.
Who?
Destiny.
I love this guy.
I'm the guy who stickies sucking in that video.
A lot of people don't know that.
I thought it was Nick Flavier.
And it was horrible.
I thought it was Nick Fuente.
Owens probably became phobic.
I get it.
Fat Dome will be.
But Candace, Candace is, I am fascinated by her because she's one of the biggest personalities on the right.
And everybody else is now kind of like, of this more normy-ish right-wing, like not crazy, not as Nick Fuentes-y.
But she is actually more, I would say, refined in her anti-Semitism than Nick Fuentes.
Like her theories on Jews, I'm like, I'm familiar with them because I know a lot about, I guess, like 90% of Central European anti-Semitism.
And I'm like, she is familiar with this as well.
And so she has all these, I mean, it's really, but I tell you, I've said this, I've said this, five minutes alone in a room with her.
She's walking out with Payas.
She's walking out with Payas.
She's wearing the yarmulke.
She's rapping.
I'm rapping her after that.
And we're pressing a little bit of ketamine, but we're rapping.
Of the percentage of people that watch her, how many do you think just watch it like you all do for entertainment?
I'm not going to lie.
I think there's a lot of people watching it for entertainment, but I do think that there's a good chunk of liberals who watch her as well and think she's awesome.
Yeah, I think I met a lot of...
I met a gay black man who is a die-hard.
Yeah, just once.
Just one time.
And he was like a die-hard Democrat, die-hard liberal, straight-ticket blue voter, loves Candace Owens and knows Candace Owens' like background with the George Floyd investigation that she conducted.
Yeah.
Because that was like a big thing.
Like she was like, George Floyd was a fentanyl addict and that's why he died and it wasn't Derek Shaw.
It's not how overdoses work.
I've overdosed.
It's not, you don't, it's, it's.
In any case.
He is a tolerance.
That's what I mean.
They know all of that stuff and they still find her so compelling.
Yeah.
And follow along because like she's been able to corner this market of gossip and true crime and crazy conspiracies, QAnon style conspiracies that somehow all center around her being the victim of these international forces.
And that's why she pivoted to France very quickly, where she was saying, first she was saying, you know, Jews occupy the American government, Zog, Zionists, occupy government.
And then she pivoted to, actually, the real Jews are French.
And that's fast.
Which was awesome.
I thought that was fantastic because she had somehow found a way to tie that back to her ongoing defamation lawsuit with, as you said, gender fluid Brigitte Macron.
Pink Arm Double Entendre00:03:03
I ask you this.
Who do you think your counterpart in the right-wing media is?
Mine?
Yeah.
Oh, God, that's a good question.
Definitely not Candace Owens.
She's a lot bigger.
I mean, well, she's just also, she breaks boundaries.
In the right way.
I don't know if you have a direct version of yourself on the right.
Because no one is really the establishment Republicans in the right-wing media in the way that you do against established Democrats.
I also think that part of your appeal, I mean, not all of it, respectfully, like the fact that you look like MAGA coated.
You would be MAGA coated.
Like you look MAGA, but you're not.
And you're such a breath of fresh air.
Because somebody that looks like you could have very easily, you're from Oklahoma.
You grew up in the Bible Belt.
You could have very easily been one of those MAGA phrases.
You have the American stock.
Yeah, you don't have like that.
You don't have that counterpart because your counterparts are in church on Sundays every, you know, they're not, they don't have a microphone because they're all, we've seen a lot of them.
Yeah.
So I'm featured on the five, Fox Five a lot.
Greg Gutfeld.
They have Jessie.
No.
Have they invited you?
No.
No.
They just cover me.
Would you go?
Fuck yes, I would.
Does my queen, Jessica Tarkov, defend you?
I haven't seen, I just see the clips, but she's been on our podcast and we've been on hers, and she probably would.
You should ask her.
No, if they invited me, I would 100% go.
I'm sorry.
Is Gutfield, Greg Gutfeld is rude about you on TV?
Yes.
That's not surprising.
She's a woman.
What the fuck?
Yes.
He is very about my parents.
About you.
They call me trans.
They say that.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
They call me...
That's crazy.
They call me trans.
And I just want for the record, I want to inject.
What a compliment.
I want to inject a photograph here for the permanent record march, if you'll put this on, of Greg Gutfeld in a swimsuit.
Oh, Greg Gutfeld swimsuit.
All right, I got to make my meta-ray-bans do my bulge.
Sex appeal is going to be off the charts.
So here's Greg Gutfeld, who that's all they have about him.
That's Tom.
But that's all they have, though, is to comment, you know, ad hominem and tax.
It's always something like that.
It's always the, and what kills me about these, these conservative men that insult women is you all look like shit.
Look at him.
Look at him.
There we go.
Oh, my God.
Get that.
Get that.
Here we go.
Humming a humming, a humming.
No, go over one with him in the water.
Yeah, there we go.
That's him.
There we go.
Oh, he's got a bit of, he's got a touch of the musk body to him.
I tell you what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's sexy.
Yeah.
This is what I call a pink arm.
A white man that kind of has pink arms.
Yeah.
This is what the ICE agents are.
See that?
See that pink arm?
There's no tone, and it's just a pink.
Look at that.
He's a pink arm.
This is a pink arm man.
The title here, Paunchy Fox News Star, shows his softer side.
That's a double entendre there.
Look at it.
Pawnchie.
That's not a good word.
I'll tell you what.
You don't want to be.
You don't want to have that.
And that's for the Daily Mail, too.
Religion Hopper Damage Control00:12:17
Yeah.
My God.
So Greg Gutfield, he goes after me.
What does he say about it?
So he insults your looks?
Yeah.
Says that I'm unattractive or that she's trans.
One day after I went after Rob Emmanuel, they did a whole story on me.
And then he goes, well, she's kind of attractive for a trans woman.
And then another time, I think I was really calling out, oh, it was when I called out JD Vance for not taking up for his kids.
And the right-wing and some of the liberals went crazy about that.
Do you remember that when I went fucking, I was 100% right.
Which is why all the liberals and the right-wingers got mad at you.
I think that's usually what happens when you're right.
This is a man who has never touched a gym.
You can tell.
No, you're wrong.
This is a man who is also a gyrator, a jackrabbit.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, he used to touch.
A soft surf.
He reads short to me as well.
Wait, he used to touch it.
He was very short.
Wait, this is him early on.
Yeah.
His feet don't touch the ground when he sits on those high chairs.
And it's so funny because he'll be saying the most heinous shit.
And then the camera pans over to the wide shot and his little feet are just going jingling and dangling on the bottom of that high chair.
Yeah.
I love seeing that.
Can you imagine just him and Bill Maher together just looking at you?
Awesome.
Awesome.
But I don't think that they should be rude to women on TV.
It doesn't.
They are.
But it doesn't bother me because here's the thing.
Like we have all of these things going on.
And every time Fox airs me, it just means more money for me.
So I'm appreciative.
I'm appreciative that they are highlighting me and driving viewers to my channel.
Liberal, curious white women that maybe have thought, this whole thing about Jesus going on the suicide mission seems a little sus, but I've been told I could never buy into it.
And then here's this atheist that's like, it's bullshit.
Well, you have your theories on that.
Oh, about Jesus Christ?
Yeah.
You think that it wasn't a suicide mission that just happened?
I think he's a great fictional character.
I think Jesus existed.
Oh, I doubt.
She's coming after you, guys.
You don't think he's a person?
I just found out about Jesus.
He's a human being?
No.
You don't think he existed?
There's no evidence that he existed.
The first writing of him was 100 years after his death.
That's three generations at that time.
You're telling me a guy that's doing magic tricks and all of these things doesn't make it into the historical record?
Oh, I had no idea.
There were historians at that time.
I thought that they proved that he existed.
No, that was like.
Who was the guy who wrote about historical?
And then he got fired immediately from CNN for something.
Yeah, I forget his name.
I will say this.
I'll say this.
I just found out about Jesus Christ last year.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you accept him as your Lord and personal savior?
I'm willing to if I figure out if heaven's real.
That's my Spelden's wagon.
I believe in Jesus just in case.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, that's Pascal's wager.
And he's the closest God that I know.
Jesus.
Jesus.
I grew up around.
He's the hometown guy.
I'm a cultural Christian.
Okay.
Like I celebrate Christmas.
Yeah.
I like that.
But also, Santa Claus kind of trusts.
The pagans really did all of that before the Christians stole those holidays for sure.
The pagans.
The pagans.
The Maypole thing.
I'm like, that's weird.
You know, we're going around this thing.
I'm glad that the Christians come.
I've said this for a long time, but I think Mariah Carey is more popular than Jesus Christ during Christmas.
There's no question.
The Beatles said this and got in a lot of trouble.
Oh, that Mariah Carey was more popular.
Well, yeah.
Mariah?
Yeah.
But I just found out about it because I'm trying to figure out, I'm trying to, because everyone got mad at us for hurting him, allegedly, at the Jews for the first time.
Yeah, at the Jews, for killing him.
But my whole thing is.
It's a layup.
That's what I'm saying is, no.
Yeah.
You know, I'm Italian.
What do you think?
I'm not going to assume your background.
What do you think my nose comes from, dude?
It could be Lebanon.
No, theirs is straighter.
I'm Lebanese.
Did you notice?
It doesn't look like mine.
Yours is like, yours is, actually, you know what?
It is sort of bottom-heavy there.
I told you.
It does droop.
It does a little bit.
It does droop.
I'm going to work it out.
But my whole thing is I'm trying to get us out of trouble.
Because we've done a lot of damage control.
I'm trying to do some damage control.
Right.
And I'm saying if we did it, if we did it.
Right.
Oh, kill Jesus.
If, well, if we temporarily not Jewish, by the way, Roman.
And his whole thing is that the Jews made me do it.
Well, you're the governor.
But we can't really make you do it.
But that, okay, we were like, you got to fucking, yeah, put him on the thing.
And he did it.
But he came back.
And he had to go.
And then he was like, miss me yet?
He's like, Jesus.
You're leaving me?
And then everyone's like, oh, Jesus is real.
It's all real.
So I'm like, if we didn't do that and Jesus lived to be like, whatever, 50, like old age back then and just like died in a farm, no one would give a fuck.
You know what I mean?
We would just, you know, we would still, everyone would be Jewish still.
And so, or like one of the other ones.
And so I'm like, okay.
So the murder was to benefit Christians.
I'm like, if we did it, why are you mad?
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, why are you mad?
I'm also, you're like, we helped you by, but we didn't do it.
Do you think he was a real?
Do you think Jesus is real?
I think it was probably a real guy named that who knows this stuff.
But I'm like, but I'm like a lot of guys like that.
The magic tricks.
You know, my whole thing is I'm doing an investigation of all religions.
When you investigate, you'll find that there were many Jesuses before Jesus, born of a virgin, all of this stuff.
Because it was a prophecy.
Right.
It's a basically, Christianity is stolen from ancient Egyptian religions.
So it's all been borrowed.
I'm a believer in the Chinese Jesus.
Which guy's that?
What is it?
The Taiping?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Boxer Rebellion.
The one that caused like, you know, not even the Boxer Rebellion.
No, not the Boxer, but it was.
The one that caused like, you know, millions of Chinese people.
Yes.
Yeah.
He changed his name to Jesus at one point, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you religious?
I grew up religious.
Which one?
Why did you pray?
No, I don't.
Which religion?
I pray every once in a while.
I was raised Christian, but very literally.
Which sect?
Yeah.
I don't know.
My mom was Catholic.
Methodist.
My mom was Catholic.
Mom was Catholic, but like my mom was like.
Did you get confirmed?
No, I never got baptized.
Nothing.
I went to Mormon church for a brief period of time.
You went to a Mormon church?
Yeah, just for one church.
What?
Were you in trouble or something?
You went to a Mormon church.
Here's a story.
My mother was raised Catholic.
We have a part of my family that's Mormon.
Is she a Maronite?
No.
You don't even know.
No, I don't have a fucking idea.
Well, your dad is the Lebanese.
Yeah, my dad's Lebanon.
And your dad, I think he is a Maronite.
Yeah, but my dad is like, the religion is my, the religion has been fading in my family.
I just tied to you going to a Mormon church.
Well, one time my mom was like a religion hopper when I was younger.
Yeah, she was shopping around religions, and for a brief period of time, she's like, I'm going to be Mormon.
And we went to one service, and that was enough.
She said, this is fucking nuts.
And then we left, and we never went back.
But I really like the bread that they serve.
They have better bread.
They have bread at the moment.
They have bread.
Yeah, they kind of stole from the Catholic Church where they give one.
I'll tell you the best bread is halal, the Jewish bread.
So I sent my kids in Oklahoma to a Jewish preschool because I didn't want them to get recruited by the evangelical Christians.
He is liberal Hitler.
Yeah, because I did not want them to get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Christians are horrible, right?
So I sent them to a Jewish preschool and they would come home every Friday with this holla that they baked.
And it was fantastic.
The problem with sending your kids to a Jewish preschool is the September dickover.
So there's all these holidays.
And as a mother, you need your kids to be in school.
Yes.
You need the separation.
You don't want to be at home in kid jail.
You need that separation.
So they finally go back to school at the end of August.
And I don't know, it's like Rosh Hashanah, all this bullshit holidays that completely interfered with my Jennifer time.
I'm with you.
All these, it was my Jennifer time.
And I'm like, I just spent all summer with them.
I need for them to be here.
And they're not even doing the holidays.
They're like.
My kids are atheists.
So I'm like, can you come teach them on these days?
But it wasn't.
And then in the summer, there was this great little Jewish camp I sent them to, Camp Havarem.
Oh, interesting.
In Oklahoma.
I'm surprised that they didn't turn out to be pro-Israel after all.
No, when you're a kid, you're just like, I don't know.
You don't know what that is.
My kid is.
I mean, by the time they were five, they were in a different school.
It was a preschool.
But they, my son, Dylan, the one that, let me see if he's text back about the Gamergate.
He said that, oh my God, here he is.
I was a bit too young to get involved in that when it happened.
But looking back, obviously the journalist side.
He's just saying that.
He doesn't know.
He's so woke now.
He's woke.
He's always been woke.
When I put a Hillary Clinton sign in my yard, he said, Mom, I can't believe you're so conservative.
And I was like, me?
Are you calling me conservative?
The nerve.
How old is he?
23.
He's in college.
No, he's out of college.
Law school.
Law school?
Oh, my God.
What kind of lawyer is he going to be?
I don't know.
I think he might want to do like some sort of entertainment type law.
His father, my husband is a criminal defense attorney in general.
Self-first planted.
You know, he's coming.
Has he seen Entourage?
Oh, yeah.
He's got to watch all seasons of entourage.
Listen to this.
One time when my kids were, Roman was five.
Dylan must have been like eight or nine.
We go to LA with our friends.
You have heard of the band The Flaming Lips?
Yes.
Okay.
So Wayne Coyne, the lead singer of The Flaming Lips, lives in Oklahoma.
His ex-wife, Michelle, one of my best friends, before they got divorced, Flaming Lips is playing at the Hollywood Bowl.
We all go, we take the kids.
We're sitting at the Roosevelt Hotel, I think it is.
Is that the one on Sunset by the Wax Museum?
My kids had to go to the Wax Museum all the time.
They were like five in the day.
We're sitting there.
The whole cast of Entourage comes in and we're in an episode laying out and they film it with all of the actors.
You're in an episode of Entourage?
You can see me lying in a lounge chair and then you see my kids swimming at the end of the pool.
That's my dream.
You're the most weird.
We didn't sign jack shit.
And the actors, the guys that came in, they're like, we're sorry, guys, because my kids were like splashing and being noisy.
And I was like, I was so starstruck.
And I was this young mother.
I was like, do I need to take my kids to the room?
And they were like, no, you're good.
You're good.
We want it to feel organic and natural.
Your kids will just be filmed and put on TV.
They're at the end of the pool swimming.
Wow.
That's incredible.
Okay.
Yeah.
Since we're on the topic of children, I know we're at time.
Okay.
But I need to ask you something.
Yeah.
I really want kids one day.
Okay.
But I really struggle with the idea of raising them in those early stages are really rough.
It's really hard.
Yeah.
And I don't, and I want kids.
But I don't want to adopt.
I want my own.
Yeah.
But I, but like that beginning stage where you have to be there constantly.
Yeah.
It's Chinese water together.
Yeah.
And I don't know how my I need a recommendation because I want them.
And I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it anyway.
But what do you recommend to a gay man who still wants to enjoy life and have children and really struggles with that?
Like probably zero to seven or eight.
So here's the thing.
Seven or eight?
Kids are not earrings that you put on as an accessory with an outfit.
If you want to have kids, as much as I bitched about those early days, it was critical for me to be the one to be in the trenches taking grenades, cleaning up diarrhea, all the shit.
They're liquid disasters.
Don't do it.
When they're toddlers, it's like living with a little alcoholic.
They hit you, bite you, kiss you, throw up on you within a matter of five minutes.
You're living with a miniature alcoholic, emotional terrorist.
And then all of a sudden, they just like they love you and they're darling, but you have to put the time in.
Now, if you don't want to hear that, I would recommend a fantastic nanny type person.
That's what I was thinking.
Subsidize.
Subsidize the parenting.
Yeah, hired out.
That's what I'm saying.
Delegate a little bit.
Living with Miniature Alcoholic00:03:00
And I'd be willing to let that nanny be in their lives the entire time if they'd like.
But so, okay, I think I can do it because really, there's, I think you can, I think you can a lot of people.
Would you be the homeroom mom?
Would you take it that far?
Helicopter parenting?
I mean, I don't, no, no, no.
I'm a big believer.
I'm a big believer in, I do need to let my parents, my parents, my kids make mistakes to somebody.
Agree.
Right.
They need to make mistakes.
And also, I don't believe in hitting my children, right?
I believe that I will deprive them of their privileges.
That's what I'll do.
And here's the problem with that.
Let me tell you the problem with depriving your children of privileges.
So the one that just messaged me here about Gamer Day, Gamergate, whatever it is, when he was a senior in high school, I called him and I was like, hey, Dylan, you need to get home.
He's like, okay, I'll be there.
And like my mom antennas went up, like, something's not right here.
So he gets home and I hear him kind of creeping through the house.
And I'm like, Dylan, get back here.
He shows up at my bedroom door and I'm like, why did it take you so long to get home?
And he's like, and I'm like, are you stoned?
And he's like, no, I'm not stoned.
And I'm like, Dylan, I could blindfold you with dental floss right now.
You were stoned and I'm going to ask you, are you high or not?
And he's like, yeah.
And I'm like, okay, give me your car keys and your phone.
He's like, what?
And I go, I'm not pissed that you got high.
That's when a news flashed to me.
High school senior smokes weed.
The driving part pisses me off.
So I take his car away from him.
Do you know who gets punished?
Who?
Me.
Oh, yeah.
Because then I have to drive his ass around.
That's true.
So the punishment, taking the phone away, all of that, it punishes you.
You got to deal with more of that.
It punishes you.
This makes sense.
Ground him for a long time.
Oh, my God.
That's a real mother is.
This makes sense because when I used to get punished, my mom took my privilege away.
I would negotiate my way out of the punishment.
And it probably wasn't hard.
I used to, yeah, I used to get early, early.
I used to, she would sort of talk to me and I'd negotiate an early exit.
I'd see it.
She'd be like, you're grounded for a week.
You get this for a week.
And I'd be like, mom, how about if I clean the kitchen or something?
We could get out of this a little early.
And it worked.
Dylan got his car back within one ride.
See?
And he drive back.
And I was like, I'm done with this.
I'm pretty much about to ship you off to college.
Don't drive stoned ever again, you fucking asshole.
And then that was kind of my approach after that.
If somebody maybe did a podcast with a woman and that woman had a baby, after how many months off can I be like, when do you come back to the show?
This is a totally random question.
Okay.
It has nothing to do with his podcast.
The baby's maybe not born yet.
But maybe we're thinking ahead.
I would say, I'd say 48 hours.
I would say like four to six months.
Four to six months?
Yeah.
You're cooked.
That's the worst answer you could have possibly given.
You're cooked.
Well, you could have her bring the baby, but they're kind of like.
That's what I'm saying.
Bring the baby.
We'll put it in a box or something.
Circumcision Covenant Break00:01:51
Sometimes they're not.
On that note, ladies and gentlemen, this has been a fantastic episode.
Thank you both.
Phenomenal.
And we do have to, of course, ask you guys, where can people find you around the horn here?
Brace Belden.
True and on podcast.
I've had it podcasts.
Yes.
Our iHip News.
Yep.
That's our little political hits where we are radicalizing women.
Yes.
And gay men.
And gay men.
And lesbians.
That's right.
And lesbians.
And we will see you behind the paywall.
So go to patreon.com/slash fear and to check out the episode where we get even crazier behind the paywall.
That's right.
Are you an atheist Jew or a religious Jew?
I grew up.
I grew up for asking.
Go on.
I grew up because I'm not circumcised when we're talking about this.
Really?
I break the covenant with God.
You're lying.
I break the covenant with God.
I'm not circumcised.
You're not circumcised.
Swear to God.
I swear to God I'm not circumcised.
Prove it.
Show it your kid.
I can't.
Well, no, because I'm a wreck right now.
So it's supposed to be a cock.
But no, I'm not.
And I asked my dad about this when I was 10 because I saw other dicks in the fucking Windsor Waterworks.
It's a really shitty water park that was.
I'm not joking when you say you're.
No, I saw a dick in the fucking water park bath, like, locker room, not the bathroom.
Yeah.
But in like the, you know, where people were changing.
And I was like, oh, mine's all fucked up.
It's jarring.
And I asked my dad.
That wasn't me when I first was with my first uncut.
I was like, what?
Well, then, and then when I was like, when I was like 13, there were girls at school that were like talking about how fucked up uncircumcised penises was.
And I was like, oh man, now I'll never be able to make love.
I'll say this.
I didn't realize that any Jews believed in God until I was about 17 years