Austin returns from a brief deportation to discuss Squeezy's massive 200,000-person Formula 4 event in Le Mans and Ludwig's Twitch Rivals loss. The hosts defend Hassan against dog abuse claims, debate the validity of an Argentine man's 40-second fart record, and recount a $100,000 fine for a hockey brawl exceeding 15 minutes of fighting. They also analyze a Cardi B feud, a wedding gift dispute involving a $20 versus $500 card, and joke about Marsh's past mockery of their audio gear before promoting their Patreon. Ultimately, the episode blends chaotic personal anecdotes with viral controversies to highlight the absurdity of modern internet culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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French Formula One Race00:13:43
I didn't do it.
Oh, no!
Look at his face!
It was him!
No!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of your favorite podcast, the Fear And Podcast.
We're back.
We are all back together after Hassan wasn't deported, actually.
I was not.
Myself deported for like a short period of time, right?
Only to come back to the United States of America.
And honestly, I was a little surprised.
March and I actually expeditiously walked through Customs and Border Patrol.
Turns out, Palantir AI technology and biometric scanners that they have at the border when you're coming into the country, quite the fastest.
My phone calls did nothing.
Yeah, we were actually shocked.
Cutie and I were shocked.
Yeah.
Because we called the airport.
Yeah.
And we saw the airport.
We said, watch out for that guy.
Don't let him come back into the country.
Yeah, we had dangerous.
We had plans to seize your assets.
Okay.
I don't know how you think that would work, but it probably would be the government seizing my assets.
Yeah, but I'd say, no, that's ours.
Oh, okay.
And then they'd be like, oh, of course.
Yeah, I'd say that's mine, actually.
That's mine.
That's their show.
We share a podcast.
20% of his is mine.
That's how that works.
Yeah.
So.
That's cool.
But we're all back together and we're very happy that you made it back.
Yeah, I did.
I'm very happy I made it back as well.
But now I feel, now we're all going to go to China and it'll be all good.
Yeah, QD's coming as well.
Yeah, Cutie's coming to China.
We're going to dart her.
We're going to hit her with popcorn.
And Ludwig got ninth place, which at first I thought was not good, but then I was informed was good.
Yeah.
It is very good.
Ninth out of what?
Out of 24.
Right.
But it was really remarkable.
The experience was remarkable.
Well, hold on.
Before anybody, because a lot of people don't know what you're talking about.
I was about to explain it.
Okay.
Well, go ahead.
Why do you think you think I was going to be able to do it?
Well, you started to explain it.
Wait, I want to hear Austin explain it.
Well, let me tell you.
Go ahead.
Well, in France, they have this.
How did I explain it?
I got it.
No, no, I got it.
There's in France, there's a thing called F1.
It's a race car thing.
Formula One.
Yeah, Formula One.
It's not just in France.
Well, it's around the world.
Squeaksy.
Squeezy.
Squeezy.
Hold on.
I know.
Squeezy, who is the biggest YouTuber in France, probably one of the biggest YouTubers in the world.
He's like the Mr. Beast of France.
He hosts this event every year in France.
Something like 90 to 100,000 people show.
Every audience, most of the things that you're mentioning are wrong.
Do you want me to explain it?
Wait, what?
It's not a Formula One race.
But it's similar to Formula One.
That's what happens when you only read the headlines.
Okay, well, yes, you're right.
Squeezy is one of the largest content creators in the world.
I'm correct there.
Where am I wrong?
Okay, you're right about that.
Squeaksy.
Well, that was a mistake.
Squeezy, squeaksy, our boy, is one of the largest content creators in France.
And every year, he brings together a bunch of other content creators from France and sometimes from Spain as well.
Okay, I was going to get there to participate in a competition and Formula 4 competition.
Not Formula One, but Formula 4.
It's a smaller car, smaller engine, not as a formula.
Yeah, not as difficult to maneuver, but still incredibly.
Now you're getting into the minute shit.
It's a fucking car that goes for engineering.
I know all about it because I had to do a bunch of reading so I could talk about it.
I didn't have to do that reading because I was a spectator.
Yeah, well, I was also continue.
But in any case, Squeezy wanted to do the last installation of this GP Explorer series, right?
It is facilitated in Le Mans.
Le Mans is a very famous town in France for the Le Mans racetrack, which is a 24-hour race normally that goes through the entire city.
That's so weird.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know when they sleep.
They do 12-hour shifts.
There's two drivers and they ride for 12 hours.
Okay, that answers that.
And there's like pit stops and stuff like that as well.
Just like a regular race.
Yeah, but I would do it in a really good job.
But this race wasn't a Le Mans, like a full 24-hour Le Mans race.
This was actually a Formula 4 race at the Bugatti track in France.
No, Le Mans, France.
It was in Paris.
Yeah.
It was in Le Mans.
I don't know.
I just wanted to make sure.
Okay, well, in any case, it was actually an incredible experience to be there for because it is unlike anything I've ever seen from the American audiences, from the American events organizers, especially because the physical streamers, not cars.
Yeah, streamers and what do you mean?
Like the streamers that were participating are all.
Will thinks that the streamers and the cars are mid and he's speaking on it.
No, no, no.
I thought he meant that he's never car events like that in the United States.
I was like, well, this car is pretty.
No, no, no.
Yeah, no, that's actually what I'm talking about.
Like with streamers, yes, exactly.
Okay, me on a streamer.
Streamers throwing together events.
Like we have some decently sized events.
QD obviously throws one of the biggest ones, the Streamer Awards, and it's fucking awesome.
But like this is unlike anything else.
Like we've seen, you know, e-buy throw events and, you know, millions of people tune in and there's like a massive arena, massive stadium and stuff, right?
And from afar, you're like, wow, these guys have a lot of motion.
Being there was a remarkable experience and very different than just like watching it from afar.
And the reason why I say this is because 200,000 people physically bought tickets to go for the three-day event.
There were concerts every night.
There were all these like activities and, you know, this was like a very organized ordeal.
It was basically like a TwitchCon.
200,000 people came from all around France and some people came from Spain as well to watch.
And on top of that, I think it was like 80,000 every day that were like there inside of and around the stadium arena.
Yeah.
So make you understand exactly.
TwitchCon only has a lot of fun.
A Taylor Swift concert is 80,000 attendees.
So it's TwitchCon Super Bowl has 100,000 people that go to the arena to watch.
So like to understand the magnitude, the size of this event, that's the reason why I wanted to give you these comparisons.
So it was an incredible experience overall.
Very well put together.
Your boy has no motion.
I have no motion whatsoever.
Well, I had some motion at the Paris protest that I went to.
I went to a pro-Palestine protest there.
A bunch of people came up.
It was a regular ordeal.
But at the event, no motion.
People didn't know you.
Not even a little bit.
And there was a very funny incident where I was walking with Pokemon because Squeezy had invited both myself and Pokemon to initially be drivers for this event.
Pokemon said no out of fear that she might die, I guess.
And I said yes, but unfortunately, I couldn't fit in the cars.
So we go.
Yeah.
And it's fine.
It's okay.
I don't think it's because.
I think it's because you're a big boy.
Yeah, I'm a big boy.
I'm a little husky.
I think you're kind of large.
I don't think you're fat.
I've gotten fatter.
No one thought he was fat.
No one said he was fat.
Yeah, no one said that.
No one thought he was too fat for the car.
Is that why you said you've noticed how I've gotten fatter?
I never said that we've gotten fatter, but I think that he thinks he's fat, but I don't think he does.
He's not fat.
Well, in any case.
I think you're fat as hell.
You're not fat with a PHP.
What did you say?
No, like a PA.
No, I'm fat phobic.
You do have a fat ass.
That's okay.
Let's stop now.
Okay.
Let's stop.
I'm feeling self-conscious.
I'm feeling self-conscious.
All of a sudden, you think you can fit in the car.
I put on a little bit of weight in his show.
You have not put on any weight.
This is ridiculous.
In any case, maybe that's why they couldn't recognize me.
They were like, oh, who is this fatso?
I literally saw like a fresh new influx of thirst trap photos from your fucking commentating.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
That you posted.
But it was great.
It was a great event overall.
I think it was a 1.5 million total live concurrent viewers at some point while the raise was happening.
It was the reverse hour for my broadcast.
And yet, like, you know, we still had like 35k strong watching.
And, you know, I guess what I'm saying is like we participated in the 1.5 million concurrent view rates.
I watched yours.
We were there.
Because the other one was in French.
I was so confused.
But yeah, we were the official American broadcasters, myself and Pokemon.
And we had a fantastic time in France.
It was awesome to see how those streaming communities get together and how much they hype one another up.
They are way less clicky than our streaming space, I will say.
It's like way less clicky.
Will and I got our ass kicked by the French in TwitchCon.
That's right.
Many years ago.
Many years ago.
Many years ago, we've never healed.
No, we've never been on a team since.
But we're happy for you.
Now I remember.
Yeah.
This is the one where he was dog shit at gaming.
Will was pissed.
I've never seen Will that mad at me.
Yeah.
And Will was playing with me, and I'm pretty bad too.
But like, at least I was trying.
Well, we got, we got teamed up for this Twitch rivals event.
And well, I and I was like, I didn't practice.
Can I?
I will say this.
Okay.
I knew you were going to be bad.
But there was a level of like passively competent at video games that I didn't think you could get below.
Damn.
And it was like you didn't even know like how to start the game.
Will I be honest?
I didn't even know what game we were playing.
That's true.
And I had asked you many times if you wanted to practice.
Well, it was a Twitch rivals.
It was a Twitch rival.
It was a Twitch rivals event.
I don't give a damn.
You know what I mean?
I didn't give a damn.
I guess what Will says it showed.
But I, but, but when we started getting beaten by the French, I was pissed.
Yeah.
And then that activated me.
And then we're talking, we're just going to have fun.
But yeah, then they start talking shit.
In French.
Yes.
And I was.
And I wanted to physically fight them.
Yeah.
I had to peel Will off one of them.
That's crazy.
Well, they were very kind in general when I was there.
Well, and if you're face to face with them, they'll hold like a card table.
They're French.
I had a, yes, true.
I had a great time.
Mudwig and Michael Reeves were competing for the American team.
I will say there was a little bit of a rivalry between the Spanish team.
There was one Spanish team and then the rest of the teams were French except for our boys.
And there was rivalry between the Spanish and the French.
There was no rivalry against the American team because we were a non-entity.
I was no motion.
They were participating in the event and they were no motion.
It was like, I wish.
Ludwig said he thinks he sold one jersey with his name on it and his mom got it.
Like, I wished that there was like, I wished that they would hate us so that at least I could feel acknowledged.
Hey, Dan Driver next time.
I'll do it.
Yeah.
You'll be the guy from what the fuck is the movie.
Talladega Nights.
Yeah.
I'll go in there.
Bricks from Normandy and be like, we saved your country.
I'm back.
They would, they would be.
No, you'd win over the crowd.
No, I wouldn't.
They get real mad.
They get real mad.
Wait, they get mad about us acknowledging the fact that we saved them.
Yes.
Yes.
Vichy France is like a dark chapter in French history.
But we got them out of it.
The whole waving of the white flag is like a big deal.
No, we didn't.
I don't wave that one.
No, we did not.
We came in there and American girls.
I'm a pro-France now, okay?
Not even reluctantly.
I'm full-time.
I want to go pro-France.
And as someone who's full-blown pro-France, I'm going to say the resistance during World War II did a lot of great stuff.
And we must acknowledge that it wasn't all the French that were totally on board with the Nazi regime.
It was the Vichy France regime as a separate thing.
I also love the French, and I want to let everybody know, all the French people that are watching right now, that I am just kidding.
And I do not.
Good.
Although we did rescue France and War.
And those America won World War II alone without the help of anybody.
That's definitely.
That's a take.
I like French.
Yeah.
I mean, we are back-to-back World War champions.
Don't make me pull out the data.
The French actually largely attributed World War II's liberation to the USSR in the immediate aftermath of World War II, but now they polled the French people again, and they say it was mostly America.
That's like 40 years at least of like very good Hollywood programming.
For those of you who cannot understand what I'm joking, I am kidding.
I understand that the Soviets were a big part that the they could put a lot of lives on the line.
That's right.
A lot.
A lot.
Yeah.
A lot of it.
A lot.
The Chinese, too.
Yeah.
Low-key.
Yeah.
But high-key.
Yeah.
Okay.
Top two amount of people.
You've been talking about.
It's my favorite war.
I mean, French is terrible.
What the fuck?
No, no, no.
It's a terrible time of history, but it's like my favorite part of history.
Why'd you do this?
No, no.
I don't know why you have to.
Okay, no, let me be on his side.
We love World War II.
No, like from a historical perspective, it's fascinating, but it was a terrible time of history.
We shouldn't repeat it.
Yeah.
That's right.
Okay.
I don't.
The Art of Farting00:15:47
That's cool.
I don't endorse the kid.
Never mind.
We don't endorse the bomb.
Yeah.
We don't endorse the kid.
It was just.
We wish he wouldn't have made it.
You're just digging.
We're happy that we got the Barbie movie, but we didn't need the Heim one.
Oppenheimer.
That's the one.
We didn't need it.
A lot of horrific things happened, and I don't.
And I don't think it's a good thing.
And it makes him sad, but he also likes studying it because he's a scholar.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Kevin.
We're going to hard cut.
Marsh, I sent you something important.
Irrelevant news.
A very important record was broken this month.
Oh, is it?
What was that?
Oh, Marsh is unprepared.
Oh, it's okay.
It's okay.
We're not going to comment on the record.
We're taking that.
We can cut for you, Marsh.
Yeah, while we're cutting, while we're cutting, while we're cutting here, I can pee while you're cutting.
There's another, there was something I wanted to bring up to see if you guys were down to talk about.
What was it?
Oh, fuck.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I can't remember it now.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
While we're in the hard cut, while we're in the hard cut.
No, no, no.
We're in the hard cut.
Marsh, we need sound refresh.
I don't want it.
A man broke the Guinness.
Well, you didn't have to even explain it.
I think it's pretty obvious what he's breaking.
He's breaking the sound barrier is what he's breaking.
Oh, yeah, what are you doing?
Look at the technique.
Look at the technique.
It's so trombone.
Okay, flag off the way.
I heard of something in his asshole.
What?
Contraption in his asshole.
You think this is a cheating contract?
I've never seen a buck chart like that before.
I mean, I...
Yeah, you're going to have to run it again.
Come on, you've liked it.
I got to call Slime.
I'm calling an expert.
What was that?
Also, Will, what is that Instagram?
Calling it.
Trend Kenya.
If you're not following both trucks, slime's on the phone.
I'm calling from Fear and Fear and the word and.
That's so weird.
I don't know.
It's a good name.
It's a great name.
Gets you thinking.
So anyway, I was going to ask you, did you know that the Guinness World Record for longest fart blast was broken?
Yeah, by some Argentine lad.
It was about 40 seconds.
That's crazy.
Okay.
He follows Kenya by the way.
So the question is, do you think when listening to the quality and the stance and everything like that, you're the expert we're calling in?
Why is he the flatulence expert?
I mean, have you seen?
He looks like a man who doesn't know.
Do you think that he had something up his butt or do you think that's true and genuine fart?
So there's a lot going into this type of thing and why farts can be that long and weird.
What you can actually do, and this is when in an episode of Kenny versus Spenny, where he put a bike pump up his ass and just pumped it full of air.
And then he just farted for like for hours and hours, you know, not continuously.
Okay.
But yeah, you can you can put air in your ass and then fart it out.
Wait.
So we did, was there someone there to smell it?
To make sure that it was a genuine fart?
Now that's an interesting take.
Well, now we're getting to the what defines a fart.
It's just air coming out of your ass.
You don't think there was anything up his butt, though, like a sound machine or anything like that?
No, I don't think there was a sound machine, but it, you know, I will think, I will say it's likely that he put air in his ass.
Wow, controversy.
Argentina suffered enough slime, but he hasn't denied the fact that he did that.
I mean, I don't think that's against the rules, is it?
It's still a fart.
No, I think flag on the play for that for sure.
It is a flag on the play because, I mean, let's say you heard that and everyone kind of goes, oh, right.
It's like seeing a video and it's like, oh, that's an AI video that's fake.
So the gas has to be like something that you've eaten and processed through your intestines.
Yeah.
That's the gas.
Like, I don't think it would be illegal to eat a lot of beans right before this event.
I think that's valid.
Slime, I have a question to ask you.
As a way to validate your claims, do you think it's rational that we do our own investigation and pump our producer, Mauricio Miranda's ass full of air and test how long he can fart for?
Yeah, but he has to do it while wearing butt flap onesie pajamas or it doesn't really count.
Okay, thank you.
Oh, to see if it's a contiguous fart.
Yes.
If the fart flatulence stops, the audio patterns might not match, but the wind pressure.
Have you ever tried the stance that you saw that guy execute?
No, I've never done a stance like that.
Are you going to try it now?
Are you inspired by Michael Jordan himself?
I might give it a shot on the court.
Yeah.
I will say one final thing.
In that Kenny versus Spenny episode, it was a competition to see who had the largest fart.
And how they actually measured it, they did it with methane.
And they had a detector near their asses and it would detect the level of methane coming out of their butt, which is in our butts.
And that's why it lights on fire if you like your farts, which if you're done, it's great fun.
And so that's another way, right?
That's another way to test these things.
And I don't think that young man had a methane detector.
Hey, Slime, real quick, last question before you go.
If you have to fart and you don't want people to hear it.
He's never not wanted people to hear it.
That he's not true.
Okay, but what would you, what sort of method would you use?
I have a method.
I'm curious if it's similar to yours.
What's yours?
It's tough because sometimes you just it's a gamble, right.
But basically, if i'm standing, i'll like try to lift one cheek and get like a clean, open yaw and just let it go in like a ah.
That that is good, but it is a risk.
Have you heard of the silencer?
No, go to the restroom, i'm telling you.
Try this next time.
Oh open, go to the restroom, open your butt cheeks, grab a piece of toilet paper, put it right up to your asshole and fart and it'll be completely silent.
Oh, my god, i'm telling you.
Somebody showed that to me and i've been using it.
Somebody showed that.
No, they didn't like, they didn't show it literally.
Thank you, thank you Slides, for calling into the series.
Thank you, slide bye.
Thanks bye.
I need to use the restroom.
Excuse me, this is gonna go silencer right now.
All that fart talk.
Really, it's gonna go silencer anyway.
That's my topic I brought.
Do you think it's all down here from him.
Do you think if you just put a wad of toilet paper in your butt, crack all day, it'll perma silence it?
I don't know that.
I don't know that for sure.
Okay, I guess i'll think about it.
No yeah okay great that's, that's cool.
Yeah how, how big do you guys fart?
I was just wondering, you're you're, you're trying to fit in right now.
Yeah, I love a good fart.
I just I now feel conflicted entirely about the farts, and the way you approach the subject matter made me realize how juvenile this is.
I think that farting is purely the greatest comedic tool of all time.
Yes, so I always farts as an emphasis.
Okay, like I will like if I get into an argument with Caroline and she says something that I beyond think is beyond the pale.
Uh-huh wow, rim fart.
I am so embarrassed to fart ever around anybody.
It's the most humiliating thing I could ever think of.
Like like every time i'm around something, and like like i'm around somebody and like it's the first time we've met.
I'm like, please don't fart, really.
I like I think I do not have control.
No, I do have control, but but like, especially around hot people.
Like farting around hot people is the worst thing, is my worst nightmare.
Wait, I disagree.
I think sometimes you can break the ice with them really, because they're not used to someone waiting.
Have you never farted around cushion?
No, oh my, I feel like that's the one of the best parts about being gay.
No, it's because you're wait gay yeah, in a relationship.
But like I get it like you don't want to fart around a lady friend because, like women don't fart all this stuff.
Women find farts hilarious.
No, gay men don't fart either, not the women.
I've been keep driving at home till it's funny.
No, it's never funny.
It's not okay.
I hate it all.
You just opened up a can of worms.
No don't, because now it's gonna be my life mission to get you laughing with.
The problem is, I grew up with a brother that loved farting.
He thought it was the funniest thing ever and he would do the.
He'd do the walk-by lift cheek right in your face.
Okay, that's absolutely.
I know.
You can't fart traumatized me.
You can't fart in the face, or like you're both walking up the stairs for dinner and then he just lets one out and you want to fall down.
That is funnier though, because because it's like you know what I mean it's not funny, it's like a sneak attack.
I was abused.
It's funny to watch from afar.
I would not be.
I would not want to be victim.
I'm sure that Ludwig is a Dutch ovener.
No, not what wait, Ludwig doesn't fart on you.
No, he never does such a.
He seems like the kind of guy who would do that, I know, but he doesn't do you fart uh yeah wow, that was a long pause.
You well now.
I had to think in like what context.
Do you use it?
Um, no, I do it accidentally, and then I go, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
That's because you've trapped too many farts inside you.
I tell Caroline, I believe this.
Uh-huh.
The reason a lot of people's farts smell is because they're locking them up in their body.
Right.
Oh, letting it fucking ferment.
Yes.
Oh.
So you got to get them out quick.
You got to get them out quick.
I was in the gym one time and I had noise-canceling headphones on.
Sure.
And I was doing the fucking leg lifts.
Oh, no.
And it was in the morning.
I had my coffee.
You know that when you wake up in the morning and you don't have to go to the bathroom yet, but you got to get your day started.
So I had my coffee and about halfway through the workout.
I'm fucking, you know, I'm holding in.
I'm just holding in because I got to go.
Yeah.
But I got to get my workout done.
And I'm doing my leg lifts and I got my headphones in and I fucking feel myself fart.
And I'm like, do you have no clue how loud?
I didn't know how loud it was.
I didn't know who heard it.
People were around me.
Nobody was reacting.
So I just kind of went around my day and just acted like it wasn't me.
You know who's the worst at that?
Is actually Aiden.
So we used to, in our old house, we had Doritos Locos Tacos Gaming Room.
And it was like where a dining room should be was a land center where all the boys kept their desk besides Nick because he was too cool for Doritos Lacos Tacos Gaming Center.
I don't know why.
It's a very long name.
I know.
But it went, it went Aiden Slime Ludwig Couch.
And I would often go lay on the couch because I also didn't have a setup in Doritos Locos Tacos Gaming Center.
We can just call it the room.
We don't have to do ads for Doritos Locos Tacos.
Anyway, so sometimes I'd be sitting there on my phone on the couch and Aiden would just like, he'd just be gaming and he would just like fart.
Oh, and no reaction.
No.
That's, I have, I know people like that.
And then was it a quiet one or a big?
It was just, and it was like a constant like normal thing.
You know what?
That's serial killer energy.
Dad's like, you have to acknowledge that.
They will my uncle's the same way.
No, no.
He just does it and doesn't acknowledge.
And then you're like, what the heck?
That's more rude.
Like, what?
What am I supposed to act like, not acknowledge that you did this?
Yeah.
My uncle will lift his leg, fart really loud.
And like when I was younger, I'd be like, okay, that's different.
You acknowledge it.
That's naughty.
No, I would acknowledge it, but he wouldn't respond.
Wait, what do you mean?
No, I would go.
And he wouldn't acknowledge it.
He just never acknowledged it.
So to this day, like, I just took a weekend trip with him.
He was just ripping ass.
And I just wouldn't say anything because I just, oh, that's unclear.
That's also not great if you're like a flatulent person in general and you're just like kind of my best friend is that way.
Kirk is that way.
Yeah.
He just rips.
He's got all the stuff.
He looks like it.
He does look like he would fart a lot.
And he does.
And he lets you hear it too.
Yeah.
I mean, I think farts as a comedic tool is perfectly valid.
We've talked about farts for like 25 years.
Well, you know, the first time I met Ludwig, it's on stream.
He farts.
The first time I met him in person.
And you're telling me he doesn't Dutch oven.
Yeah.
No, I hated it so bad.
Did he do it on purpose?
So he never farted again.
I had a visceral reaction.
This is when we were still friends.
And after that, it was like such an ick for me.
I was like, he was going to be a friend.
Like, I don't even know if he's going to be a friend.
This guy sucks.
How did he recover from that?
How did he get back from that?
He was very kind.
He was a jog.
He was very persistent and kind.
He never farts around you anymore.
No, he does.
But he doesn't like Dutch oven.
He doesn't fart in the bed?
No.
I think this is a missed opportunity.
He should, we should teach Love and Death.
No, don't.
Please don't.
I can't fart anywhere.
Does he not know what a Dutch oven is?
No, he doesn't.
He definitely knows what a Dutch oven is.
I think it is one of a boyfriend's only defense tools.
What?
Against people.
No, he has his animals.
He's acceptable.
I think he can tickle.
Because we can't win an argument, right?
We just can't.
No, he wins in arguments.
Wait, really?
You guys debate?
Guys, I give up.
You know me.
Eventually, I had a point where I'm like, okay, I don't care.
Like, I don't care.
I don't think in any relationship in my life have I ever won an argument.
I never went.
I think you probably gave up too.
You're just like, yeah.
Well, the Dutch oven is like the nuclear option.
You have to give up.
When an argument's gone too far and you just fart in the bed and you lock yourself, you lock both people in.
Ew, that's evil.
Well, it doesn't impact you in the same way.
So you're basically trapping.
You're immune.
That's evil.
It's like you have an immunity to your own fart.
Yeah.
I would get violent.
I would get physical.
Have you ever farted so badly that you don't have an immunity to your own fart?
Yes.
That's happening.
That's when I think I'm sick.
Yeah.
If I can smell my own fart, I'm like, ooh, I'm like, oh, what's going on?
That's not good.
It's funny that we're talking about this because Hassan is a notorious plane farter and he tweeted out that he finally feels bad about it.
Yeah.
He's also a notorious car farter.
Oh my God.
No, I don't.
That was the old me.
You walked around.
Locked to a bitch.
Turn the heat on one time.
Yeah, turn it on one time.
So that it's like a Turkish summer.
That's evil.
It smells like a street bazaar.
This man has never let it go.
Did you do it one time?
And if it was your technique, evil's laughing his ass off.
I hate when people fart around me because I always take responsibility for it.
What?
I just have a guilty face.
You are so empathetic that you are.
No, I'm so another man.
I'm so afraid.
I'm so afraid of people thinking that I farted.
You claim it.
No, I don't claim it.
I'm like, whoa.
What's that?
Okay, you farted.
No, I didn't.
Dogs and Electric Shockers00:11:26
No, immediately.
You're doing porno acting.
No, I'm just like, you can't go.
If I see you doing that, even if I don't smell a fart, I'm like, that guy farted.
No, but it's the same thing when I go to the bathroom.
If somebody shit in it before, I get in there.
I'm like, fuck.
Now they're going to think I shit in it.
One time, me, Caroline, Sandwich, and Sinna had a two-hour debate on stream about who farted.
And every one of you has a different theory.
It was funny.
Who do you think?
I think it was Sinna.
Really?
Actually, I think it ended up being Sandwich because then Sandwich called her boyfriend at the time and he and she was like, do I ever fart?
And he was like, all the time, and you don't even notice.
And so, yeah.
Oh, he was her audience.
To be fair.
So he is Australian.
So they're real wild cards.
They are notorious liars.
Notorious liars.
Swift was not near.
But do you guys ever blame it on the dog?
No, because, oh, your dog cart is so ridiculous.
Dog farts, I think it's way worse.
Farley can crank out some heat.
Yeah.
Kaya cleared the room the other day.
Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
She does actually.
She doesn't fart often.
Was that actually Kaya or was it one of you?
I didn't do it.
It was him.
It was him.
No.
Come on.
That was a fact.
Now I know.
I can just rip ass whenever I'm around Austin and pin it on him.
No, you can look at him.
I would never do that.
You look like this is a fart that took place last week and it looks like you farted.
You look like a serial killer who's just been caught.
What is happening?
This is why I cannot be around people who fart.
And you blamed my dog.
Speaking of dogs.
Yes.
There's another story that has been making the rounds.
Yes.
It's been a very viral story.
What happened?
What happened?
Is Yet another instance of Hassan gets canceled by everybody on the internet.
About damn time.
That's about damn time.
And this time it's for like, I was a real piece of shit for buying a house.
Yeah.
I was a real piece of shit for leasing a Porsche.
I've been thinking about it.
But in this circumstance, it is probably the most like far out there and far from furthest from the truth incident of all time.
I've been getting canceled for abusing my dog, Kaya.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A clip went around very quickly.
And to be fair, I to be fair, it's a very convincing clip.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like an insanely like the timing is horrible in that.
It's awful timing.
I'm reaching.
I should stop reaching for zinc canisters in general.
Now, every time Kaya actually walks in.
He was reaching.
Every time Kaya actually walks to her cot, I literally just put my hands up.
I'm like, I didn't do anything.
That's good.
That's good.
But yeah, she's obviously spot trained.
It's called like when you say the place command, she goes in and lays there.
It's really good training for service dogs and every other type of dog that's gotten professionally trained.
It like calms them down, stuff like that.
But people immediately were like, because the clip looks pretty fucking bad.
I was like, I had just gotten, I had just gotten back from France, super jet-like, super pissed off because my internet shut down.
Stream effed.
I just got back on stream.
I'm like in panic mode.
I'm trying to like fix everything.
And I was rude as she yelped.
And people were like, oh, he's like zapping her with an electronic collar and like shocking her.
He's a dog abuser.
And they've been saying that non-stop.
And there's a lot of funny memes, to be fair.
There are some funny memes.
They're funny.
There's one of her, unfortunately, an AI video going over to Hassan and electrifying him.
I saw that one.
That one was awesome.
That was her just behind you, just getting just the electric coming down from the.
Yeah.
There's also funny ones.
There's like I'm Ryden or whatever, where it's just like, I'm zapping her.
Yeah.
People really, people really went above and beyond with it.
It's just interesting because, you know, Kaya is the most pampered dog at all time.
She is pampered.
The only reason I was like, we've got to talk about the freaking pod is because obviously I stream, you stream.
And the amount of people coming in my chat.
Hold on, I stream.
Oh, you stream sometimes.
That's crazy.
He streams all the time.
Do you?
I do.
I've been in the middle of the day.
And it's okay.
You know what?
Nobody gives a shit about me.
No, I do.
I care.
So you've probably been asked too.
People keep coming in our chat.
They go to poor rickety old Austin's show who's barely getting ready.
Like, why are you hanging out with a dog abuser?
I would like to make it clear.
I don't believe that Hassan has abused a dog.
No, I also don't believe that either because I have bore witness to how you treat her and you treat her much better than me.
I tell you what, I will say.
I tell you what.
If anything, everybody should be talking about me.
I agree.
I've been here many, many times.
I've never seen...
You don't have to take my word.
I've never seen a shock.
No, I have to admit that.
I've never seen a shock.
Why are you talking like this is a legal document where you're like, Your Honor, I've never seen that.
It's never happened in my presence.
When I'm not around, he's probably shocking the fucking thing.
He's probably zapping everybody.
I have never seen a zap.
Yeah.
I've stayed here.
Yeah, no.
I have to admit, my household is split because Farley fucking hates Kaya.
That's true.
He was actually super psyched.
Farley finally likes me because he saw the videos that was like, oh, that bitch is getting shot.
In case you don't know, Farley's my dog who has little to no training and fucking hates Kaya.
No, and look, you get it.
To be fair, she does get all up in his.
I don't know why she loves, like, she likes to grope him a little bit.
She loves little dogs and playing with little dogs.
I mean, my brother just dropped Fiona off as well for the weekend.
So, I can abuse two dogs at the same time.
But what a treat for you.
Yeah, it's exciting.
But there's a bunch of different, there's so many different tools.
Like, so Kaya's professionally trained.
I trained her first, but then I like even went and onboarded her and got her professionally trained, like by a person who like trains, you know, dogs that are service dogs for like disabled people and whatnot as well.
And there is a range of tools you can use from e-collars, which are also known as commonly known as shock collars, which many people actually mistake and think is like fucking tasing your dog.
It's not.
It's like a TENS machine.
I've literally used it on my body before.
All the way to vibe collars or vibration collars.
And they also have like, they also have like a like a non-physical fence, basically.
Oh, yeah.
So that like your dogs actually, it vibrates when your dog actually walks near the fence.
Yeah.
So like warn it to not move past the fence.
And then there's the spray one.
And then there is the noise one as well.
There's like one of those things.
When your dog barks, it emits a noise.
I tried to get Farley to stop barking.
And then I realized it made him so proud.
Yeah, that's how I felt.
I'm not kidding.
By the way, speaking of dogs, my aunt?
Uh-huh.
Last week.
Oh, yeah.
I saw two best-in-show ribbons.
Really?
Not one.
Two best-in-choke.
Wait, like Westminster dog show shit?
Yeah.
Your aunts do the dog show?
Yeah.
What kind of dogs?
What kind of dogs?
We got Westies.
We got Scotties.
We got those things.
Can we Google a picture of them?
Westies?
Yeah, I think I got a picture of him.
I can pull one up right now.
That's pretty sick.
Yeah, but not one, but two best-in-show ribbons.
Christian wants a dachshund.
Oh, really?
Dachshund?
Oh, my God.
Oh, look at that.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, isn't that Farley?
Look at that little nugget.
Farley is E-Mix.
Farley's like a shihzu and a poodle.
Farley's got something in there.
He's got whole attitude.
There's Faith.
Oh, wow.
Oh, damn.
She's got some.
That's a cold-ass haircut, bro.
I'm going to send you this, Marsh.
You can put it in the episode, but please blur my aunt's face.
That is a cold-ass haircut, bro.
Right?
It kind of looks like Marsh.
Yeah.
It's kind of got the Marsh cut.
But like, if his hair was white.
Yeah, if he had white hair, it would be super simple.
He's like Kana Emo, just like you, bro.
Wow.
Let me see.
Yeah, but isn't that cool?
That's so cool.
I think, I think that, listen, the internet hates Hassan.
That's true.
That's true.
No one hates him more than his own friends.
And if we all love animals, and if he was zapping the shit out of that dog, I would be zapping the shit out of him.
So just keep that in mind.
I would beat your ass.
I would kick you to the curb so fast.
Unfortunately.
And I'd light your house on fire.
Unfortunately, no amount of that is going to convince a lot of these people because they don't actually give a shit about okay.
That's fair.
They don't actually give a shit about my dog.
And I'm brainwashed.
There's like, I'll be getting like thousands of people who will be like, um, who will be like, oh, your prop is there.
And she's just like sleeping behind me.
And then when she actually does walk away to go on a walk or whatever, they're like, where's your hostage?
And it's like, what do you want me to do?
She gets to roam around the fucking house whenever she wants to.
God damn it.
Just because you saw one fucking clip doesn't mean you know this experience.
But that is how it is on the internet.
It is what it is.
It is, it's been interesting because she is the most, she was already pretty famous.
But now she was pretty famous.
She was already pretty famous.
Now, because people will come up to me in public and be like, oh my God, I can't believe, can I get a photo with Kaya?
Who's like a famous like, like Doug the Pug.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She can be likened to Doug the Pug.
I don't even know.
Except for she's a suffragette.
Beethoven.
Yeah, she's a suffragette and she's suffering under my command.
I think, like, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of people that chime in on the dog stuff are either oblivious to how dogs are, because I've seen a lot of people be like, what kind of dog sleeps in the same place for five hours?
That's torture.
It's like, that's every dog.
That is Swift on the couch every day.
You've literally, that's any dog.
Have you encountered a dog?
That's number one.
Number two.
Um, I've noticed that like a lot of people are just like, I can't believe he would do a spot command.
That's fucking dog abuse.
And it's like, oh, that's interesting.
I've never heard that.
No, people that don't fucking train their dogs don't even know.
I've never tried.
I tried once.
Like people that don't train their dogs think that like these any kind of command uh over your fire dog is fucked up.
What he knows that when it's time to go to bed, he must snuggle me.
And it's snuggling.
That's the command.
I go, Farley.
And I do this, and he comes and lays down right in my arms.
Swift knows high five, but you have to do the two Illuminati hands and then it goes up.
Dave, if you could find a video, it's very cute.
I only have cats, so I cannot relate to any of this.
Damn it!
They beat to their own drum, they do what they want, they wake us up, they do everything that they want to do.
They sleep next to us.
But question about cats, because you have cats.
Uh-huh.
Can you groom a cat?
Yeah.
Cat Grooming Questions00:07:00
Yeah.
Okay.
Because my cat is very hairy and he keeps getting poop stuck in his butt.
Oh, I have the best shaver.
Oh, look at him.
He's so talented.
It's a high five.
Yeah, look at him go.
Does my guy ready?
Okay, this is not his, but he's not trained.
Ready?
He only does it to me because he likes me.
Oh, okay.
All right.
No, he's going to do it.
Don't worry.
Nice wolf oven.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Great appliances.
Thank you.
Okay, now for real.
Damn, this is during the sub-a-thon.
Yeah.
His timer's at a minute.
Okay, Ludwig.
Okay.
He's panicking.
He's like, Swift.
He's not a showman.
Okay, he's going to do it.
Surely it wouldn't be titled this if he doesn't do it.
He has a treat.
He's so excited.
He loves a treat.
I think the video is about to end.
Durs walked by, and you can see his reflection in the oven.
He says, Come on.
I promise.
Guys, he's doing it.
Oh, oh, oh, he did it.
He only did it to you.
Oh!
That's my guy.
Yeah, he's very talented.
That's pretty cool.
Thank you.
Kaya can do that as well, but she's 120 pounds.
Right.
So when she jumps on top of you, let's have this mouse.
Yeah, come on.
Let me talk about my daughter a little bit.
Let me, let me.
That's the opposite of what was said, but okay.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, I have gifts for you guys.
Oh, shit.
What?
Did I miss an occasion again?
What the fuck is going on?
I have gifts too.
I've shot collars.
I've shot college.
No, no, no.
You have gifts too?
No, no, no.
The next occasion is your birthday, I think.
Oh, God.
I think we're in the clear until then.
Don't get me anyway.
Nobody wants me to put the shot call.
Actually, I do turn 35 guys.
You have, listen, I know you got haters, but you got some weird ass fans that want to see you in the shot caller.
Yeah, I've seen that.
I have seen that on the inside.
Let's get rid of shop callers.
You're Travis Kelsey sign jersey.
Oh, Kittle.
Yeah, love him.
Well, it's Kittle because he was drunk.
Yes.
This is dope.
And he's on what team again?
He's on the San Francisco 40.
Great.
I love it.
Where did you go?
I went to Rave.
He's drunk.
And I put a bid on.
Yeah, there were two jerseys and I been on the wrong one because I was drunk.
Hassan, I got you.
Oh, my man.
Tom Brady, Tom Brady.
You did right from Foxborough, baby.
That's beautiful.
First ever football jersey.
That's your first one.
Oh, watch me go.
An Austin Show.
I know you love stickers.
So I got you this sticker that says, I shit you not.
Oh, thank you, Will.
I appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
I can't wait for him to fucking toss it.
No, he puts him on his laptop.
So much.
I'll put it on my phone.
Oh, man.
Oh, I see.
Wow, that's actually shocking.
Keep it forever.
I thought you'd like that.
I love it.
But it's going to cover yourself.
I was watching.
I was watching when you were like at the stadium and I was like, give me a jerk.
Maybe you can cut it.
It covers his kickstan.
He's going to need to help.
Okay.
Zero fucked it up.
You've already fucked the goddamn thing up.
It's not going to lose.
It's going to lose its stick.
That's okay.
You don't have to.
That's crazy.
Okay.
He put it backwards, though.
Okay.
Okay.
He's just going to put it in his pocket for later.
Okay.
That's fine.
Thank you so much.
I'm going to see it in the trash outside.
No, no, no.
I'm just going to throw it.
Yeah, all these gifts are very simple.
He doesn't fucking throw the trash out in the trash can.
He throws it by Dr. Pepper can from last week is gone.
I saw the clip.
What did the fucking clip, Austin?
What clip?
Oh, he doesn't watch the stream.
So he won't watch the podcast.
And Will was right.
I do watch the podcast, as a matter of fact, especially when I'm to see what kind of fucking tricks you're up to.
Okay, I don't think you would have watched the podcast unless I had said you don't watch the podcast because they forced them to link the podcast and you reacted to it on the stream.
I guarantee you you didn't even know what the fuck we talked about last week.
You didn't watch it.
Oh, yeah, we did.
We did talk about our feelings last week.
We're trying to remember.
By the way, I have a brief American Me Up.
I want to hear it.
Behind the Paywall or are we?
No, we got some time.
Oh, perfect.
Perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We have Girly Pop for Behind the Paywall then.
Damn.
Actually, let's do Girly Pop now.
No, it's longer.
People like Girly Poppy.
No, no, no.
We'll do Girly Pop Behind the Paywall.
Okay.
So people are going to subscribe to the Patreon because holy fuck, bro.
Holy fuck.
Let me tell you something.
We did the GP Explorer American broadcast.
It was me, Pokemon, and I also invited Nick and Slime from the yard.
For those of you who don't know, that's a.
Yeah, that's true.
What the hell is that?
You don't know.
It's another podcast.
Yeah, the ball fart guy that we should call it.
Yeah, exactly.
He would actually really like that title.
Yeah, so he would actually be really happy.
Also, their ginger.
Right.
So they're going to be.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, they have a ginger.
He replaced us.
Yeah, they have a ginger as well.
So that's.
You are the old fart guy.
I'm the old fart guy.
Yeah.
I'll take it.
And Pokemon was obviously Cutie Cinderella.
Yeah.
Much better upgrade, of course.
I did that.
She's so put together.
That you said that.
Yeah, I said that.
When did Fearan get good?
Yeah, it was funny.
But one of the things that they were constantly flexing is how much bigger their Patreon is.
So we have to farm the Patreon.
There's no patreon.com slash fearny.
You motherfucker.
You have multiple vlogs on deck.
Just post shirtless photos on the Patreon and you'll literally save us all.
Yeah, show a little cock.
You'll pay my child's tuition.
Yeah, I agree.
Our Patreon, we appreciate the support so much.
But we have more content coming up.
So if you have been on the edge, don't do this.
Don't do this.
Don't do this.
You farming this video.
Marsh, I didn't week.
No, no, no.
Even beyond the video.
Okay, what about after that, though?
Well, I got another vlog that I did with Will.
But then after that, after that.
You're not doing shit.
Okay, I'll make more vlogs.
Austin Show wakes up, I guess.
Do interesting things in your life so you can vlog it.
Song covers.
Okay, fine.
Song cover.
I thought about doing like a fucking.
I thought about doing song covers, but I didn't know if our Patreon would make fun of me.
No, they would love it.
They would love it.
Because we used to do them on wine about it, but then I got shy.
But then I was like, maybe I'll do it on Facebook.
We could 100% do that.
I got an idea for you.
Marsh and I could do a DJ set every week if he would ever come over.
Oh man.
I like this.
I like Marsh in the hot season.
Marsh, literally, like a father who told me that he was going to teach me how to catch, said he was going to come over and set up my DJ decks, saw my speakers, made fun of me, asked me if I was poor, told me to get bigger speakers before he would set anything up, left, never came back after I bought the speakers.
It was like a child learning how to catch by throwing a ball against a fence.
Okay, that was great.
Tampa Bay Hockey Fights00:03:31
That's my question, though.
Have you gotten bigger speakers?
Yes.
Oh, oh, and he never came back.
I thought I'd been traveling with you for the past like three weeks.
He's been in New York.
I got an idea for a new Patreon site.
Oh, boy.
All right.
I don't know what we'll call it.
You send me your phone number.
I just give you a call.
What?
Surprise from Austin Show.
Huh?
That's great.
Hello, it's Austin Show from the Fear End podcast.
Just call someone while they're grocery shopping.
I love it.
I like it.
And I think you just make normal content.
I like it.
It's a good thing.
That's good.
It's good.
Going about your day.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
It's good.
Look, let me give you a double whammy.
You have a spoofer for your phone number.
Yeah, I'll use a Google voice number.
Okay.
Give me a double whammy.
We got to give him something.
I know, but what I'm saying is you do it on, just do it at the end of your stream every day.
So then it's stream content and it's Patreon content.
Oh, okay.
No, but then no one's going to buy the Patreon to see it.
Yes, they will because no one watches the stream.
No.
Is that what you're ready for?
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying the only way you can submit a number is if you're a Patreon member.
So then it's a double ad and he gets to do it on stream and then it goes on stream as an archive.
I actually thought about that.
Yeah, it's an archive on the Patreon of the people that brilliant.
I take pictures of the Kai every week.
Cut that whole section.
Let's pull it out.
No, I think people like it.
Guys, we had a record-breaking number of fights break out in the Tampa Bay versus Florida Panthers hockey fight or preseason hockey game.
Go ahead, Bolt.
What's a Florida Panther?
Florida Panthers, a hockey team in Florida.
I know, but like, I think they're Panthers in Florida.
Am I crazy or is the Panther not a very good animal hockey team?
Hockey?
I don't think Panthers can skate or they're native to.
Am I crazy about this?
I feel like Panther is like, it makes sense for football, but I feel like for hockey, it doesn't really make sense.
No, I think hockey should only be animals that look good on skates.
All right.
So watch this.
This is incredible.
Literally the whole thing, Marsh.
You can just play it at any point.
It's 15 minutes.
There were over, I think, 300 minutes of penalty time given.
And by the end, the Tampa Bay Lightning only had three viable players left on the team on the bench that could play that penalty box?
That hadn't participated in fights.
Oh, God.
This is preseason too.
This game doesn't even count for anything.
Wait, so the fight didn't really just go for 15 minutes straight?
Yeah, just 15 minutes of non-stop.
So they just fucking have all the smoke for each other.
That's what it is.
Like, they hate Tampa Bay.
Yes, they're crosstown rivals.
No, I'm going to be so real.
I think half the fun of going to a hockey game is watching the fights.
Well, this was, there was over 15 minutes of fights.
Like, I would have loved this.
Crazy over.
Yeah.
They love fights.
But literally, there were almost no eligible players by the end of the game because they had all been penalized so much.
Ouch.
He ate that.
He looks like he got hit in the face with a puck or something.
Damn, what the hellie?
Yeah.
Why do they, why in this sport do they fight like that?
Like, they don't do it in football.
They don't do it.
And they're hitting each other in football.
Well, I mean, it's just part of the culture.
And you want to know the funniest thing?
Pause?
The Tampa Bay Lightning were fined, I think, $100,000 for all the fights, right?
Wow.
AJ Brown was fined $60,000 for wearing the wrong color cleats.
Yeah.
The NFL is crazy.
Wedding Gift Regrets00:03:41
Oh my Austin.
Oh, I'm going to pick it up.
Anyway, that's a quick little America me up, but I thought that that was hilarious the whole 15 minutes.
That is crazy.
You want to go watch it.
The game doesn't even count for anything.
It's a preseason game.
Oh, my God.
Weird.
That's amazing.
I think we should fight in sports more.
I think we should put all men in hockey and then there'd be less pent-up aggression.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
I'm on board with that.
Yeah.
Well, oh, no, no.
That'll be all for.
No, no, no.
We don't have it.
We are still going.
Wait, why?
Because we still have some Murat.
No.
Come on in, Murat.
Come on.
Say hi, Murat.
Murat, come on in.
No, he doesn't want to be in the middle.
Don't stand at the fucking door.
Get out of here.
Wow.
You're distracting.
Damn.
Can I interrupt you?
He gets married.
He hit one of these.
He literally just came and Arthur Fonzarelli did.
He just posted up at the same time.
And then it is.
Real quick, before we go, Hassan, I tried to pick this with them last week, but they didn't bite on it because it's not with them.
It's with you.
When I wasn't on the podcast two weeks ago, remember?
No, no, like you didn't bite on it because you said it's not the bone is not picked with you guys.
We don't know what it is.
It's the COVID thing, the COVID wedding.
Oh boy.
Sorry.
That was unintentional.
You guys talk.
We'll look at the jersey.
Go ahead.
Hassan.
I'll watch some TikTok.
Oh, shit.
You caught me saying to Jen that I was going to use the COVID excuse to miss a wedding.
And you thought that I used the COVID excuse to miss your brother's wedding.
Yes.
But I didn't.
Oh, so you were at my brother's wedding.
No, I was not there, but there was a legitimate COVID case.
But I was going to think about using that test for the other wedding, but I didn't.
Yeah, because you care more about some random person than you do about my brother.
Not true.
Than you do about Holy See.
I'm not here.
Murat?
He's in the bathroom.
Well, anyway.
It's all right.
We don't need to bother him with this.
No, really.
Murat, how do you feel about Austin using, planning to use the COVID excuse at another wedding the week?
No, no, no.
The week after your wedding, and then actually feeling bad and actually attending that wedding instead of using the COVID excuse in that wedding.
It's tried and true methods.
I understand why he did that.
No.
He said it's tried and true method, and I understand why he did it.
You've forgiven him.
No, no, he doesn't forgive him.
No!
Okay, so good.
He did take us out to a nice dinner.
He did take us out to a nice dinner.
He thought he could buy a bunch of people.
We had a panel of that wine, but it didn't work.
It was a great bottle of wine.
Remember the bottle of wine we had?
Murat told me that your contributions.
What?
What about my contribution to the wedding?
Yeah, what was wrong with it?
Wait, what did he get?
You say it out loud.
You give him a $20 gift card.
That's both.
No, he's lying.
No!
No, he's lying.
I gave him $500.
Wow, that's nice.
Isn't that nice?
He just felt nice.
Where did it get $20 to foreign gift cards?
He just made that one.
But here's the deal.
I was at dinner with Murat, and Murat's like, say, you haven't.
He mentions the, we bring up the topic of the wedding gift comes up.
And I was like, well, everything was taken on the thing.
Wait, you brought it up?
The $500 Lie00:02:02
No, no.
It came up.
He brought it up because you guys talked about it.
He said that he has a year to send.
Yeah, I said I had a year to get a wedding gift.
And I was like, looking at Murat.
Murat was over my shoulder as I was typing in the amount.
So I felt a tremendous amount of pressure.
You were going with 50.
No!
Because he's breathing down.
I started to think.
I was like, what if he typed a second book?
One more zero.
Yeah.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
My gift to morale is when I get my pilot's license, which I'm working on right now.
That is it for the FearM podcast this week.
We'll see you beyond the paywall at patreon.com slash fear and there's a vlog coming out.
Never provoke a writer while they're writing.
You joined the game as a willing participant.
Don't back out now.
Rock bottom nation, rock inflation, Rico Nation, you failed.
Let the reindeer games begin.
We win again.
She tweeted...
These tweets are so fucking cryptic.
She then tweeted $4.99 to call out Cardi for discounting her album to boost sale numbers, implying that she was struggling to move units.
She also started calling Cardi Barney B, comparing her to the children's TV character.
She also mocked Cardi's line from Magnet and said, ABCDEFG, these butchers, these bitches can't fuck with me.
Cardi would clap back on Twitter with her own series events where she flipped Magnet and bring up Nikki's husband's sex crime.
Yeah, there you go.
Yep.
ABCDEFG, your man have to snatch pussy.
Pussy tastes like honeycomb.
Your bro be touching 12-year-olds.
It doesn't even have to when you got a powerful bar like that.
And then actually, let me just, I'm going to start.