Hank and Will dissect the David Burke case, linking his dismembered victim Celeste Rivas to a "Romantic Homicide" music video and alleged grooming of minors. They contrast this with their own accounts of sexual violation during massages and critique the LAPD's refusal to charge Burke despite evidence of performative Christianity and bribery. While discussing Trump-era political attacks on queer conservatives, they conclude that the current climate of fascism and unchecked violence demands urgent scrutiny beyond mere comedy. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Kissing Cousins in Oklahoma00:02:28
That usually you have like a towel on you, huh?
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
So usually if I am, if I'm the masseuse, I would.
Are you going to touch my pussy?
I won't touch your pussy, but I'm just going to show you something.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another fabulous episode of the Fear Ann podcast where the crew is here and ready to go.
Right?
Ready to lock it up.
We're here and we're queer.
That's right.
We are here and queer.
Specifically, Judy and I. That's illegal now.
I don't even know what they're talking about.
I'm a Republican.
I'm a right-wing conservative.
My name is Hank.
My buddy Will.
Look at how white he is.
Available for any late night show that you'd like to hire me.
That's right.
That's right.
We are a comedy duo, and we talk exclusively about how much we love.
Idiot Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
I thought they tied boobs to Jesus already and guns.
Oh, God.
You sound like one of them queers.
Discussing perverts.
No, I can sound a lot less queer.
Okay, let's hear it.
All right.
Okay, give us a shot.
Well, first of all, you're surviving in Trump's America.
You have come to a checkpoint.
They're trying to see.
They're trying to make an assessment on how sufficiently pro-regime you are.
Go.
Passport, sir.
Go.
Hey, how are you?
Aren't you...
That wrist looks a little...
Did you heard it?
Yeah, no, no.
I got in an accident while I was playing baseball.
Where are you headed today?
Oklahoma City.
Oh, business for pleasure.
You're a long way away from Oklahoma City, let me tell you now.
Taking the long way, huh?
Scenic route?
Yeah.
Well, listen here, partner.
I am just on my way to Oklahoma City for pleasure.
Partner?
We're not partners.
We're officers.
Okay.
Officer, of course.
I have nothing but respect and I back the blues.
Oklahoma City, I'm visiting my friend.
We're going on a hunting trip.
Hunting trip.
Yeah, we're going.
And who's the young man in your passenger seat?
Is that your son or nephew?
Oh, no, this is my cousin.
Cousin?
Yeah, this is my cousin, Christian.
And we just kissing cousins?
No, no, no, not kissing cousins.
What kind of cousin?
On my mother's side of the family, it's Christian.
Cousin Christian and the Shirt00:08:36
We just got.
What happened to his shirt?
It looks like the bottom of it's missing.
His ads are exposed.
Yeah, he unfortunately got in a fire and he stopped dropping roll just in time before it got to his.
You have a lovely time.
Thank you very much.
See?
Okay.
See who's right on the racing stage.
We almost said you do a re-education.
No, I can pass.
I think.
I think I really can.
I think I could go be straight if I wanted to.
I did it for many years.
Yep.
That's true.
That's true.
But yeah, we are under attack.
America is under attack.
That's right.
And Jimmy.
Free speech.
Franz.
Yeah, by woke.
By woke.
By woke.
We're under attack by woke.
That's what he means.
Yeah.
Okay.
Make no mistake, everybody.
We love the president.
And we will continue loving the president, but not in a gay way.
That's right.
In a very straight, heteronormative fashion.
I have a question.
Do we think just that the age of late night shows is going to come to an end also?
Oh, yeah.
I think it was over already.
But that's besides the point.
So the reason why we're talking about this today is because maybe you heard about it already, but Jimmy Kimmel did one of his late night monologues and he accidentally made the mistake of, I guess, offending the Republicans.
And they came after him pretty hard.
It was fairly timid, I would say.
There was nothing like that.
Not even remotely.
The word I would use is innocuous.
Yes, yes.
March, can you pull that clip up?
And while you're pulling that up, I'll get into it a little bit.
But basically, the Republicans have hated Jimmy Kimmel for good reason for quite a while.
They don't like him because his son had cancer and he was crying about it, I believe.
And Republicans took offense to that thing.
During COVID, because the vaccine could have not the vaccine.
Yeah, yeah, the vaccine.
No, You're on the right side.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, vaccine could have made his son autistically gay.
He was crying about that.
Yeah, right.
No.
But basically, he did this thing, which is, you know, inoffensive to the max because it's fucking Jimmy Kimmel.
He's like very vanilla, I would say, beyond being like, ha ha, orange man, bad.
Anyway, let's take a look at this special that was very offensive to the Republicans.
With the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.
In between the finger pointing, there was grieving.
On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism.
But on a human level, you can see how hard the president is taking this.
My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk.
May I ask, sir, personally, how are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir?
I think very good.
And by the way, right there, you see all the Trumps?
Don't laugh.
It's inappropriate.
Don't laugh yourself.
I think they've been trying to get, as you know, for about 150 years.
And it's going to be a beauty.
Guys, he's at the fourth stage of grief, construction.
Sickening.
That's funny because that's a decent joke.
It is a good job.
But the funny aspect of it is just Trump, as always.
Because Trump is like uniquely funny.
People call him unusual.
Yeah.
He is just a uniquely funny person.
And I've been saying this, like, he is too narcissistic to actually mourn another human being, even if he knew them very closely, right?
And it's very clear because people keep trying to be like, oh, how do you feel in this moment?
There's been numerous occasions, like he got caught at Yankee Stadium dancing on 9-11, like having a grand old time, doing the double dick suck.
And he has said some other stuff as well.
But basically, I mean, that's what it's called.
It's funny that he and Austin were doing the same thing on 9-11.
Yeah, but I was just copying the press.
Oh, yeah, on 9-11.
I wasn't doing that on 9-11.
I was seven years old.
No, this is 9-11.
This is 9-11.
Oh, double-hit.
You know what it happens every year?
I got it.
It happens every year.
Here it is.
Here's Trump having a grand old time, okay?
Not a care in the fucking world.
God, what a psycho.
Oh, God.
If he wasn't such a rapacious fascist monster, he would be so awful.
But it's no shock.
I mean, after 9-11, he was on the phone talking about how now that the Twin Towers had fell, there were new his buildings were now the tallest buildings in Manhattan.
And this was like while the smoke was still rising out of Manhattan.
This is the morning of 9-11.
While 9-11 is still happening.
Okay.
Like people, I don't even know if they had hit the Pentagon yet.
United 93 was still in the air.
He's like, well, there's no Trump Tower there, so it doesn't matter to me.
Yeah.
No, but it's crazy.
They got more angry about what Kimmel said, which he didn't even say anything.
He didn't even say that it was a MAGA guy.
They just said, he just said that they wouldn't accept the fact of the possibility it could be.
And then he went on to show a clip of Trump, and they're not upset that Trump isn't adequately mourning the loss of Translation.
Because Trump is the cult leader.
I think part of them, the network caving so completely is a great indication that no young people are watching TV anymore.
Oh, yeah.
And they are all clamoring for very conservative and very elderly eyes on their programming.
I don't even think this was a play for audience capture in any way, shape, or form.
Because Jimmy Kimmel is like, he's hosted the Oscars and stuff.
These guys don't have any real audience, but like they're just kind of there for prestige, right?
Yeah.
But what ends up happening is...
Yeah.
So Nexstar, which is the local television broadcaster media conglomerate, distributes ABC and has like ABC affiliate channels.
And Nextstar initially was the company that said, We are taking this off distribution.
How dare you do this, Jimmy Kimmel?
And then we found out it was because the head of the FCC, which is the regulatory body that's supposed to make sure that you don't like say slurs or curses on television, things of that nature, and actually is tasked with like media mergers and things of that nature, came out on Benny Johnson.
He's a fucking right-wing podcaster, used to work at BuzzFeed, actually, until he got fired for plagiarism.
And also an in-the-closet gay man who was not allowed to travel.
This is really complicated.
Who's not allowed to travel on work trips any longer?
He's gay.
Oh, yeah.
He's super gay.
That's his wife has made it.
His wife.
That's so awesome.
That's his favorite Republican.
This is like inside baseball conservative goss for all of you that don't know.
Benny Johnson used to go on work trips all the time because as one does, right?
His wife now does not allow him to go on work trips alone where he is around men.
Oh, that's that, you know, that's a lot of work trips.
Yeah.
So in any case.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
In any case, what I was saying is Nexstar was pressured by FCC.
Yeah.
Because the FCC straight up said ABC, Nexstar, all these other channels that are distributing Jimmy Kimmel's broadcast footage, the head of the FCC said, you know, you either do something about it, we can do it the easy way or we can do it the hard way.
So Nexstar, which currently has a merger deal in place to purchase Tegna to become the 80%, like to own basically 80% of all local television networks, 80% in 40 states, was obviously very invested in playing ball with the Trump administration to allow that merger to go through.
It's a $6 billion deal.
So they are the ones who put pressure on ABC and Jimmy Kimmel.
And there's other reporting from the Rolling Stone where they talked to insiders at ABC and Disney, where the executives were apparently pissing their pants, pissing their pants in fear, knowing full well that Jimmy Kimmel had said nothing offensive at all, but they were so terrified of the Trump administration's pushback that they had to take action.
This is where we're at now.
So what sort of things can be done from a consumer standpoint as consumers, can we, I know this is a very lib thing to say, but like boycott ABC or go after the advertising rules of ABC?
No one watched Jimmy Kimmel anyway.
Pressure on ABC and Disney00:04:46
I know.
Well, that's the problem is now they're forcing us to defend Jimmy Kimmel.
Yeah.
Which I am.
I am 100% 10 toes down a Kimmel head.
Jimmy Kimmel, you are my goat.
I love the man show.
Yeah, big man show guy.
Fuck it.
I like Adam Corolla now.
Yeah, that's my third favorite Jimmy.
Yeah.
Yeah, my first.
Cricket and Fallon first.
Well, Fallon is next, apparently.
Well, yeah, so the FCC guy.
I like Glick, too.
FCC don't fuck with me.
Yeah, well, no, they don't fuck with any of them.
M ⁇ Ms. And he's actually put together like a list of people where he thinks that he included, and they include the likes of The View.
Yeah.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Jimmy Fallon.
Seth Meyers.
Yeah, Seth Myers, Late Night with Seth Meyers.
Yeah.
And I don't know what they're using as a reason to go after them other than the fact that they disagree with the Trump administration or they have an obligation to tell the truth or something like that, which is what Fox News does all the time, right?
They always tell the truth.
They definitely weren't famously in a lawsuit in which they lost hundreds of millions of dollars for a billion.
It was a billion dollars for Dominion for lying about the voting machines.
I'm convinced that I'm having an aneurysm because I'm having an ice pick headache, like right in here.
And so I told myself it's because I haven't drink enough water.
So my blood is really thick.
And so I have to drink Intel here before I can hang out with you guys.
Yeah.
But I'm just going to drink and deal here and then I can hang out.
No, no, no.
You're okay.
No, I get it.
And we want to just slam it right now.
No, no.
Let her take her time.
Oh, go, go, choke.
Wait, I'm slow.
Chuck, chuck, choke, chuck, choke.
Have some respect for yourself, Pledge.
Get your fucking elbows up.
Come on.
Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
Joe fight cutie Cinderella for the first time today.
You want to be a cap of sig?
Wait, do they make girls do that too at sororities?
Oh, they make them do like way worse shit.
Yeah, I've never heard about hazing for.
I've heard what they do is they make you sit on a laundry machine, like an old laundry machine.
Don't tell that.
And whatever jiggles they draw with a black Sharpie over it.
That's horrible.
Yeah.
Austin is gay, so he's like, what do you mean?
They would have to draw a whole circle around my double D's.
Hazing is way dead.
Austin's like, damn, that's what I do to my tweets.
That is not true.
That is a crazy thing to say.
That is a crazy thing.
I cut their alfalfa budget.
That is a crazy thing to say.
I would never.
Now that I can hang out, I have to tell you guys a story.
Okay.
So I went on a rant last week about how I hate dipping on my pods, but now I am going to double dip explicitly because this is just a story that happened and I need your guys' take because I've gaslit myself so much.
So we're going to, yeah, I think it's a little bit more than you want us to get.
We can double dip it.
This is crazy.
No, I need your honest truth.
You're going to get, you're going to, you're going to, I don't think it's double.
I don't think you should be criticized for this because you're getting another perspective.
I need another perspective on this story specifically.
It's not like Ray told you.
No, I think it's fine, but I can't tell if we're being women.
Okay.
She needs to be aware of that.
I can't tell if we're being too.
I don't know if we can win in this situation.
I think I'm the only one that can deliver the sound reasons.
We don't even know what the story is.
Okay, because you guys are straight, so you're automatically losing.
Yeah.
Because your man.
You always give great advice.
Well, no, you do.
But you're straight, so it has to come from me.
You should start telling me the advice.
And I will say it.
Shut up.
Let Cutie speak the fucking story.
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to set the stage.
We deserve to lose lately.
Go ahead, Kutie.
We don't deserve late.
Go ahead, Cutie.
I'm sorry for interrupting.
So they interrupted me interrupting you.
I'm 99% sure I got sexually assaulted.
Well, of course you did.
I don't know if I did.
Yes, you did.
We believe you.
Well, wait, let me tell you the story.
What the fuck happened?
Okay, so.
What?
You literally, this is every time.
What are we going to do here?
Every time, QD will be like, let me tell you guys a fun story about what happened.
And we're like, if it's Austin, we know it's either gay shit or planes.
It was Christmas.
They left me alone with my uncle.
No, no, no.
It's like, QT will be like, here's a story about what happened.
And it's like a 35 hours.
These are the most traumatic incidents that have ever taken place.
Here I am trying to do comedy as I'm drowning.
Okay, what happened?
Sexual assault.
I might have been.
Okay.
So this is not funny.
No, it's not.
Don't laugh.
I'm allowed to laugh in my pain.
I'm not.
Traumatic Incident at Christmas00:10:52
I went and got a massage.
Okay.
I know.
See, this is a face.
Are we sure?
We don't know.
So listen here.
I mean, I have a story about that too.
So I'm like, I've had many massages in my life.
Okay.
So I go to get a massage.
There's a couple's massage, me and Ludwig.
And I walk in and this lady, the lady who's my masseuse, comes up to me and she goes, you're very beautiful.
And I go, wow, thank you so much.
And she's like, no, really?
And I was like, okay, thanks.
That's fine.
Accomplishment's fine.
I'm not sexually assaulted yet.
No, it's just funny.
It's funny because you said, no, it's not.
The lady said, you're very beautiful.
And your response was, I guess, so you were so, you were so in disbelief that you had to be like, no, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she said, no, really.
And I was like, okay, cool.
Thank you so much.
Like, I wouldn't think anything of that.
Whatever happens sometimes, you get called beautiful.
And then we go to start the massage.
And we're doing the massage and my shoulders are fucked up.
She's like, what do you want me to focus on?
I'm like, shoulders.
And so she's on shoulders and I'm face down.
And then she goes to legs.
Okay.
And this massage, I decided not to wear underwear.
Sometimes I wear underwear.
Sometimes I don't wear underwear.
And she starts massaging my butt, which usually they massage your butts.
Yeah.
And she's going down my leg.
And as she swoops by my side thigh, her fingers like touch my vagina.
And I'm like, oh my God.
And I literally like clench and I like, I'm like this.
I'm like, was that an accident?
Like, you know, and she keeps going down my leg.
Ludwig is in the room.
Yes.
Okay.
But he's also getting a massage.
She doesn't know what that is.
Did he get a little ball scoop?
I will wait.
I asked.
Okay.
So, so then I'm like, this is weird.
I've had so many massages.
I was like, that has to be an accident, right?
But then, as you know, they work the same muscle a few times.
So she goes back up and I'm sitting there like bracing myself.
And then sure enough, it happens again.
And I'm like, okay.
But she had like a European accent.
I was like, maybe she's like really comfortable.
Like I'm like sitting there gaslighting myself.
I'm like, maybe that's just like how she does it.
Okay.
For clarification.
What kind of touch are we talking?
Like, is it like grazing the lips?
Yeah.
Like talking like tips of the fingers.
Like, like his hand is my pussy.
And it's like, so like, these are pretty solid television.
It felt like a solid touch.
We're not talking the sides.
We're talking like the main circle.
No, no, no.
We're talking the sides.
So it's like, if your vagina is like two vagina lips.
So these are the lips.
Those are just to scale.
And these are your legs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your legs are.
These are the legs.
I need you to be the legs.
Thank you.
It's like she's rubbing.
So this is my back, right?
And so she's like, she rubs my butt and then she comes here and it's like.
And I'm like, oh.
So like she didn't need to turn like that.
No.
And usually they are way down here, right?
But it was like, oh, and she like got a little touch.
Did you have a towel over you?
So I did, but not when she touched because it was under the towel.
Oh, she went under the towel.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
I know.
And so, and then part of me is like gaslighting because like ladies, sometimes like the Gooch is a little sensitive, right?
And so you can't, you're like, is that Gooch or pussy?
Oh, but even then, they shouldn't be that close.
Yeah, no, even the crazy continuous.
And so I'm like, I'm like sitting there and I'm like, dude, am I, am I, am I, is this, what, like, what is happening?
Like, I'm just sitting there kind of in shock.
How many, how many passbys?
Three.
That's an excessive amount.
And then, Austin, I'm every time.
Yes.
Every time.
I'm going to need you to lay.
Okay.
You want me to have a deck?
Wait.
And so then we flip.
Okay.
So then she does my other.
So your pussy's out at this point staring at the ceiling.
Well, wait.
No.
So now we flip because now your back is up.
And I'm like, okay.
Like, am I crazy?
Like, maybe she's just whatever.
So now I'm laying flat.
So now I need you to lay flat.
You want me to lay?
Okay.
Yes.
It's important.
Lay down.
Is this table gonna be able to hold me?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
My pussy lips.
Excuse me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
So keep in mind that usually you have like a towel on you, huh?
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
So usually if I am, if I'm the masseuse, I would.
I won't touch your pussy, but I'm just going to show you something.
So usually, if I'm massaging this, I'll like tuck, right?
I'll do a little tuck a roof.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but also you need a microphone.
I open the medication.
Okay.
So you can just get the whole room now.
And then, oh, you want me to?
I got it.
Okay.
So usually we do a little tuck, a roof.
And now I'm massaging, right?
Massage, massage, massage.
So then, if you guys have ever had a Thai massage, all of a sudden, she lifts my leg up.
So, Ben, she lifts my leg up like this.
And usually, if you're getting a Thai massage, they would tuck so you have a little dipe like this.
So you're going to dipey.
I've never had a Thai massage.
She does not tuck.
And it's just like this.
And then she bends me open like this.
Oh, oh, oh.
And she does like a rub.
And I'm like, what is happening?
And then she goes like this to the point that I feel the shit fall off my coochie.
Okay, that part, what she's doing is not a time.
This is a sports massage.
Oh, sports, sure.
Like, what she's doing, I've had done.
And it's normal, but it's a sports massage.
You can get a dipey, though.
Okay.
I feel like I normally get a diape.
Okay, so the problem wasn't.
The problem wasn't the leg movement.
The problem was that Austin's Coochie's.
You're Coochie Zell.
Yeah, you may come up with me.
I would, thank you.
I mean, I personally would feel uncomfortable even if I, as a man.
Did she touch you in the front?
So kind of the same thing, but this time it was like thumb, thumb grazing vagina.
And then, wait.
So then I'm sitting there and I'm like still like gaslighting myself.
I'm like, okay, maybe she's just like, like, like, I'm uncomfortable to the point when she goes to my next leg to lift it up and do that whole thing where Coochie goes out.
I snapped my leg back down.
I was like, no, like, I don't want to do that.
So like it snapped down.
Like, okay.
And so in my head, I'm like.
Did you make like a noise?
We're like, no, I don't want it or anything like that.
No, I, because I, I didn't, it sounds stupid, but I like panicking.
I'm like, pan, I'm like in shock.
I'm like, this can't be real.
And I also like don't like, I like, I'm like, am I being, am I overthinking?
Like, I don't know.
And so then I remember having this conscious thought where I'm like, okay, when she goes to my chest, I'll know for sure.
Because like, boob is boop.
Right?
Boob is fucking boop.
Yeah, you can't.
And usually you get a massage up here.
You usually won't even like rub a guy's chest unless you ask for it.
Yeah.
Wait, I have, oh, this is crazy.
Okay, keep going.
So, so usually they'll do like clavicle, right?
And like, that's mostly then shoulders again.
Yeah, I get my TDs massaged all the time.
I ask for it because my pecs are so tight, but usually they won't touch your pecs unless you're like, hey, I've never asked for it.
I thought it was normal.
So, so then, like, if her hands are going down like this, essentially her thumb kept accidentally catching the cover, like, and I felt it just like slightly move a ton.
Like, every time she'd go down my arm or my side, she would like, it would like move a little bit to the point that I'm like, I swear to God, my nipples out.
Like, I was like, I swear to God.
And my, my eyes are like covered because they put the thing on your face.
And so I'm like twisting around like this, like a little bit.
And she's like, you know, down here or whatever.
And then I get it enough off my eyes and I look and my nipples fucking out.
Like, and I'm like, oh my God.
And so I like pull it up.
And I'm like, what is going on here?
Yeah.
And so I adjust.
So I'm like kind of adjusting and like twitching like multiple times here.
And like, I'm not saying anything and I, I don't know why, but I'm just like kind of in shock.
So it all ends.
Okay.
It ends.
She leaves.
I stand up and I'm like, I'm like out of there.
Like Luddy's still like laying there.
And I was like, I'm going.
I'm going.
Sure.
Like, I'm out.
And so then we go into like, so usually when you get a massage, they have like a little waiting room that has like candles and tea and stuff.
And you can like sit there and like debrief.
We walk in there and he's like, do you want to sit?
And I'm like, no, no, I just want to, I want to go.
And he was like, what?
And I was like, yeah, I want to go.
So we're in there and then we get up and leave.
So I go to the dressing room.
I've got to like draw this out.
So, so, okay.
Yep.
Thank you.
Okay.
No, it's going to make sense.
The blueprint of the massage parlor.
So this is like the little lobby.
Okay.
So we're in the little lobby.
I walk out.
This is the lockers.
Was this like a nice massage place?
Yeah.
I've been there before.
These are the lockers and like this is the bathroom.
And then this is like a wall partitioner.
And you can walk through this hallway and go to the front lobby to check out.
And this is like the like area.
So I walk in here to the lockers and I'm standing at the lockers and I'm like, you know what?
I don't feel comfortable changing in open air.
Like right now I feel a little weird.
So I walk into the bathroom.
So the little bathroom over here behind the wall partitioner.
Keep in mind, like that's a wall petitioner.
It's a hallway.
And so I'm in the bathroom.
The weird thing about this bathroom, I don't know why, but I've always noted that it's weird is like kind of like how Hassan's doors are like frosted.
They're like frosted, but a little less frosted than that.
Like you can clearly see silhouettes when someone's in the bathroom.
You can see them sitting on the toilet.
Like it's a panel door like that.
You can see silhouettes.
That's strange.
The rest of the locker room is really low light.
And the bathroom, just like these panel doors, if the if the light's on in the bathroom, you know someone's in there.
Like, especially if all the other lights are like low and off, right?
Yeah.
So I go in the bathroom and I'm fucking naked because I'm changing.
So I'm changing the bathroom.
I'm naked.
All of a sudden, not even a knock.
Someone starts pulling on the door handle trying to get in.
And so I like freeze.
And I'm just like, okay.
And I can see their silhouette, like, because it's like see-through.
They can, you know, I'm fucking in there.
The light's on.
You can see me.
Do you say, like, I'm in here?
So I don't say anything.
And they're just like standing there.
And I'm like, okay, clearly they realize that the light's on, whatever.
So then I keep getting dressed.
And then they do it again, like shaking it this time.
And I go in here.
And then they stop.
And I'm like, okay.
And so I hurry and change.
I walk out.
It's my fucking masseuse just standing there.
Like right here by the locker.
So I have to walk around this wall partitioner and I'm like, what the?
And I just bolt out.
I don't say anything.
I'm just like, what the fuck?
I bolt out.
I walk around and I look back before I go into the lobby.
She's just standing there.
She didn't even go into the bathroom.
Violation in the Gym Chair00:13:40
Weird.
What the fuck?
I, so.
So anyway, I felt super violent.
I mean, I think you were violated.
I can't.
You think she's like, what did, what did, what happened to Ludwig?
So then I get in the car and I start telling Ludwig all of this.
And I was like, I was like, because usually when you have a couple's massage, they kind of mimic each other too.
And I was like, have you ever like, did she stretch you at all?
I was like, dude, she was stretching me and she wasn't giving me the diape.
Like, it was like out there.
And he was like, no.
And I was like, I was like, how close did she get?
Because just in my head, because I've had so many massages, I'm like, I swear they've never gotten even close enough to even question if it's like anything.
And he was like, she, and he was like, he was like, it wasn't even like, she was like probably two inches lower than boxers would be.
And I was like, so she wasn't even near his.
No.
Interesting.
I, I mean, I, I, it seems a little fishy here.
I know.
I think, you know, definitely a little touch and go.
Yeah.
I've had massages.
Like we had this guy that used to give massages at our gym, and they were athletic massages.
But we all commented on the fact that he would like pull down our shorts and massage our butt cheeks.
But I don't know if that's a part of the, I'm not, I'm being serious.
I'm being genuinely serious.
Did he work at the gym?
No, he was like, he was an athletic.
He was like the type of massage.
He was outside.
No.
Yelling out in the sky.
He was a certified massage guy.
So for the gym, like his role is to do massage.
Well, he didn't work for the gym, but we hired him outside of the gym.
And he would do these massages where he would like realign your muscles.
Austin, hold the fucking.
I don't want to take away from your story because my story's over.
No, I was just trying to see if this was like standard protocol for massus.
Yes, your ass is a part of your body.
No, no, but yes, they will massage your ass, but it doesn't, but random guys in the street massaging your ass.
There's a little difference.
This wasn't a random guy in the street.
He was a, he was, he was, he, he, he worked as an independent contractor at our gym.
At our gym.
Did he work out at the gym or was he a part of the gym?
Well, he worked out there sometimes too, but it was, he would.
Austin, did you find a guy at your gym and you were like, can you rub and tug me and I'll give you money?
No, he did it for multiple.
He was a, he was a, he was a personal trainer.
He did it for a long time.
No, he was a personal trainer and he did these painful massages where he would like pour oil on us and he would realign our muscles like with like really intense.
And then there was a part of the massage and we all talked about it.
They're like, is there a part of the massage where like you're wearing underwear and then he pulls down your pants and realigns?
It is weird to pull down your pants.
Well, that's what he did.
He would like put a straight.
Usually they would kind of give you a thong.
No, no, he would, he, he, he would just pull down the boxers.
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
Where was he doing this massage?
Well, QD, I will say in your instance, it is a massage technician's job to like constantly be gauging your comfort level.
It sounds like you were given really clear signs that you weren't comfortable.
Yeah.
And so maybe like I'm a little worried.
When I've ever had like a nice massage where they're like, especially with the stretching.
Yeah.
Like when I was in Vegas the last time, we were at the Bellagio and I got a massage every single day, sometimes twice a day.
Fucked me.
With your fucking massage with the bill.
No, no.
That would have been a good time.
I was supposed to get like a super function.
He did get a super fun massage.
No, I didn't.
He didn't get the one he wanted because there wasn't time.
He got a fire and ice massage instead of a good holiday.
I got a fucking.
What's a good holiday massage?
It was a special one that came with a facial.
Yeah, I got a rock.
I got an icy hot rock shoved up.
I got the same one.
It was fabulous.
Okay.
I got the same one.
You can't even complain.
Yeah, because he wanted the icy hot rock shoved up your ass.
It was fantastic.
But what I'm saying is, whenever I have a massage that has like a level of stretching, usually they'll check in and be like, are you doing okay?
Is everything weird?
All right.
Yeah, even when I get to the bottom of the corner.
I've had him check my butt.
Cold rock up my ass.
Yeah.
Like when I've had masseuses before they touch my butt, say, is this okay?
Yeah.
And I'm like, yeah, it's fine.
You know, I mean, even though it was weird because I've never had anyone graze my vagina.
Even in facials, you know, they'll have me take my shirt off in facials and they'll ask me if I'm comfortable.
What?
The same guy at the gym.
Hey, he's been hurt too.
They take my pants off.
I'm like, yeah, we found this random guy at the gym.
He keeps rubbing his butts.
That's cool.
He sells pots.
You're a big double.
I don't know.
I think it's weird that he was touching his butts.
Yeah, he was taking it.
I think it's fine that he touched your butts.
I think it's weird that he's pulling down your pants.
He can't pull down the pants.
He wouldn't even say that.
That's weird.
When I was doing massage, like cupping and sports massage for boxing, my technician at the gym would touch my butt.
Yeah.
But she would always check in and be like, hey, I'm going to work on your glute.
Yeah.
And then call the glute.
That's a professional glute.
What did the guy call it?
He's like, hey, it's time for the juice.
Let me rub that bitch.
But he would also get in like the crevice.
What?
Wait, that's weird.
Not the crevice, like the, there's like a muscle that inside of your gooch?
There's like a, there's like a, there's like a, there's a muscle there.
He did it under the guise of sort of realigning the muscles.
I don't think that's gonna realign your dick.
Anyway, he got fired.
Yeah.
Well, he no longer does massages at the gym.
Because he's not the gym's massage.
No, he's a massage guy.
But he's not the gym's massage.
He's a bodybuilder.
He's Austin.
He was a bodybuilder.
I don't know how to communicate this with you.
That was.
It's kind of like this.
It also really hurt.
It's kind of like this.
Massage didn't.
Random guy is a chiropractor.
You go to the chiropractor's office.
They're a chiropractor.
If they come up to you and they go, let me realign your fucking, let me realign your back and then start rubbing your asshole, then they're not probably not a chiropractor in that situation.
The craziest part about it is before the massage, I said my shoulder is the problem.
Like I was going in for my shoulder.
Oh, no.
And when I went in previously, beforehand to another masseuse, or that because after he didn't fix my shoulder, I went into another guy and all they did was focus on the shoulder.
They didn't go to my butt.
I can't even laugh anymore.
Because I'm pretty sure you were touched.
I was like, oh, don't worry, I'm a dentist.
Let me just put my dick in your mouth.
Well, my point for bringing this up is, I think maybe I was just wondering if that's what was.
I think my problem was I just, at first, I was like, okay, am I being dramatic?
Am I being dramatic?
Am I being crazy?
Am I being crazy?
Like, all this stuff.
The only reason that I think, like, for the record, I could still kind of convince myself that I was just being crazy.
Like, I don't know.
But her following me into the bathroom is weird.
Yeah, that feels like that.
That makes it kind of like all packaged together where I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't think, I don't think that was an accident.
Do you guys know I had a massage business in high school?
What?
That you gave massages?
He would go to the gym and you would tell people that he was a licensed massage guy.
I actually stopped because there was one faculty member who kept coming to get massages.
Ew.
That's really awkward.
Will does have fantastic hands.
I learned to give massages because when my dad had cancer, he had a masseuse and I took an interest in it.
And so I learned how to give a chair massage.
Not a table massage.
Were your clients straight men?
No, they were just other people in my dorm at high school.
Well, because I have a friend of mine who is married to a woman and he tells me about this like very, he's like, yeah, I have this gay friend that's very muscular that gives me massages for free.
That's dope.
And I, I, I gave chair massage.
I'm confused.
What are you?
What is your problem here?
What's happening with massages in your there's so many massages are you saying it's weird because a man is touching him?
No, I just just the way Jamin can give massages.
Is it a chair massage or a table?
Because chair massages, there's like I don't know.
Just the way he, just the way he described it.
Well, I could say a beautiful, buxomous woman gave me a massage.
A free massage?
From just a random person.
How often is it free?
He said it was like, he was getting it like once a year.
Fair.
When I go to Edc I get a free massage every day at E DC, after I get a massage at the hotel.
Okay, who you pointed at marsh?
No no no it's, it's in the artists area.
They have a free massage.
I have one guy that I go looks like you're like and he is a very large.
Well, he pointed at me because I know.
Well, it's fantastic.
Well anyway, I think everybody should.
I'm old, though.
I need the maintenance.
I think I should get more.
I think we should get more massage.
I mean not not maybe maybe put some distance between the last one.
I was gonna say i'm just gonna start wearing like pasties and boxers.
Yeah, I think, please don't get near, please don't touch my no-no.
I think it's understandable.
You felt violated.
I don't think you were getting.
It's weird though, i've had so many massages.
I've never felt that my whole life i've had a blind man give me massage before that they're not.
They're probably very good at.
I know they were incredible, but they had to give me like a warning beforehand because apparently I have no idea where I am.
My hand might go strong.
I've never seen a human body.
They didn't.
It was like very respectful.
They were like hey, a lot of people aren't comfortable with getting a massage from him and I was like, oh my god, of course wait, a warning, it's a great marketing tool.
I, I am so in touch with my senses.
He's like i'm gonna do some work on your eyebrow.
You're like that's my pussy, my eyebrow massage.
Anyway, it was just, it was like bizarre that it was a woman.
I was like I don't know.
Yeah well, has anybody told you that you weren't violated?
No okay good because, but I just, I guess it's just, it was presented.
The story leaves no alternative options.
Well, maybe because I feel a little crazy, I feel a little sensitive.
I feel like what the hell?
He no no, but I uh yeah, so that's never happened to me and that was a surprise.
I felt you'll, I felt real caca.
I went home and I showered.
I was like ew, my vagina got touched.
Yeah, I wonder if you guys are in the same boat as me on this.
Like in a situation like that, if I was uncomfortable, I would never be able to verbalize.
I couldn't no me neither, no way, i'd probably, i'd probably laugh and try to make them more comfortable.
I've had the opposite end of the spectrum get right in there.
No, I go.
Whoops oh, that was a little close, so i'd be trying to make well and it's.
It's so quiet at the spa you don't want to be like hey, stop it.
Have you ever had a massage?
Just beat the ever-loving shit out of you.
Yes, but it's not bad though.
I love it man, it's good afterwards.
That's kind of like a guy that.
What at my gym?
Oh my gosh, you are bro, let it go.
This guy literally assaulted you.
Laugh, I don't want to laugh.
He was huge too.
He was like.
He was like.
He was like, what are you doing?
He poured.
He poured oil on me out of like one of those shaky, like one of those shaky cups.
He brought his own oil to the g, poured no oil out of me, no teaching.
That's crazy.
He was just lathering me up.
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
How did the gym not catch on the comments?
How insensitive I am.
What do you want?
We're like, oh, this is for the record.
Those of you in the comments, I did not.
I am not scarred from it.
Okay.
No point in Austin.
I'm not scarred from the children.
No, I don't want to diminish anything.
No, I'm not scarred.
I'm not scarred.
You would open an old bottle of fucking shit.
No, I remember.
It was in one of those cups with the shakers.
That's insane.
Was it even less?
No, I mean, he put him in the microwave before.
I mean, he just kept saying, you know, I'm really doing this for pleasure.
You know, I'm mixing business and pleasure.
I don't know.
I don't know what he did.
He was like a, I don't know.
He was.
I don't know.
He never did.
Sorry, Austin.
It never did.
When words started to get around the gym, that everybody was talking about it.
They're like, so he was deep in like a book.
Yeah, but he was doing, like, my trainer is like 6'7, like, really tall, dude.
And he was like, Yeah, he pulled my pants down too.
Wait, Austin, I want to tell you his name, but I don't want to.
Is this guy?
Wait, what is his name?
Can we bleep it out?
We'll bleep it out, but his name was.
What does that have to do with it?
I don't know.
I just feel like it's kind of a pervy name.
You can't just say there's a pervy name.
Wait, wait.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
You still haven't explained to us if he was hired by the gym specifically.
Well, the gym didn't pay him.
I think he had to give a cut.
That's crazy.
So, like, the gym.
He had to pay the gym to be there.
To do massages.
A Horrific Pandemic Time00:03:03
Yes.
Yeah.
So you paid him and then he gave a cut to the gym.
Yeah.
Okay.
That makes a little bit more sense.
Was this on a massage table?
I think.
Wait, no.
You think?
What?
It was a massage table.
I think it was a table.
He brought his own table.
Okay.
The room was.
It seems more like a professional.
He put us in the posing room.
There's a lot of mirrors.
Okay.
So it seems like it was a professional operation and it wasn't because the way you presented the story at first seemed like you just walked up to a random guy.
No.
And he was offering back alleys.
I think he was, I don't know if he was licensed or not.
He like rented a room out of the gym.
He rented a room and he used massage.
Anyway, it's all good.
And then the gym fired him.
Well, they didn't.
Yeah.
It wasn't working out.
It wasn't working out.
What else is going on?
I was going to ask you.
I was going to say to you guys, and I don't want to seem insensitive, but I've been thinking about this.
And I'm afraid to say it.
Oh, no.
And I'm afraid to say it.
Oh, no.
But we can always say that.
And I want to start off by saying I am not pro-pandemic.
What are you about to say to us?
I am not pro-pandemic.
I do not, it was a horrific time.
COVID was a horrific time.
And I don't want to live it again.
Okay.
But sometimes I look at the world today, and I actually think that today is worse times than the COVID-19 pandemic.
In many ways, we are under.
I mean, unless people are dying actively, at least.
Right.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
And I don't want to take away from people that are dying.
Or I don't want people to be dead.
Okay.
But my point is, in some ways, the world today is so horrific.
And should we cut that?
No.
No, you can say that the world is horrific.
No, the world is horrific.
We are under, you know, there's an act of genocide going on in Palestine.
We're under a fascist regime and we're accelerating.
I mean, we're already there, you know, and things are pretty bad.
It's pretty fucking bad.
They're designating trans people as terrorists.
I mean, so what are you trying to do?
You're trying to get a new virus going?
No, I'm not saying we should start another pandemic.
I was just making an observation.
If anybody agreed we are going to China.
Yes, no, quick stop.
There's no virology institute in Wuhan.
Many of you might have heard of it.
It's called the Wuhan Virology Institute.
I was just presenting it as, do you guys agree with me?
I think things are worse now than they were in 2019.
I don't think it's a complete overreaction.
Right.
I'm not saying I think it's within the realm of possibility.
Yeah.
I'm not saying that we need another pandemic.
I'm not saying that it was a good time.
But comparatively speaking, I was thinking about it.
I was like, wow, that was a horrific time.
And my God, it's worse now.
Somehow, it's worse.
Romantic Homicide and Celeste00:15:50
Yeah.
You know?
It's fair.
Anyway, just an observation.
Thought I'd throw that out to the group.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we also need to talk about David.
Singer, songwriter, David.
He apparently was so prolific as an artist that I didn't even know that I was listening to one of his songs that went viral on TikTok.
Which one was it?
I forget the name.
But it's like, this is when you pull it up.
You know which song it is.
I don't.
I don't care how long.
What side of TikTok are you on?
I didn't get that.
If you play that fucking song.
I think Marsh was just saying, I don't.
No, but that is literally the.
Oh.
How long?
No, Romantic Homicide does get it.
He's got a song called.
Oh, he's serious.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Stop.
That's a part of the story, but that's not the song that was going to be.
Let's get to that later.
We're going to get to that in a second.
Okay.
I think it's here with me.
I think that's the one.
I have to pee, but I know this story.
I'll be able to jump back in.
Okay, that's the big one.
Play it for a second.
What about the one where he's in a bloody t-shirt in the back of a car?
I sent him a tweet.
I sent him a tweet that goes over that.
Okay, so play here with me for a second.
I need William introduced.
Hold on.
Listen, you've not heard this.
Play this.
I don't care.
Never heard this.
Okay, so this song was everywhere.
It's got 244 million views on YouTube.
It was like huge.
It was a huge hit from two years prior.
And I didn't even know this guy was responsible for it.
Well, it turns out there was plenty we didn't know about David's background.
Plenty we didn't know.
Plenty we didn't know.
Well, this is how it all started.
So I think it was what day was it?
It's like a week or so ago.
I know nothing about it.
Police responded to a call of a foul smell in a Hollywood impound lot coming from a Tesla that was impounded.
Okay.
Officers discovered that in the front there was a body.
A disfigured body.
A disfigured, dismembered body.
Dismembered body.
It was wrapped in a bag.
That was decomposed horrifically.
Yes.
So they identified the body as a well, first they didn't identify the body.
Hold on.
We're going to get there.
God damn it.
You're jumping ahead in the story.
Hold on, man.
I don't know.
So they found this body.
I was really coming together on this.
The car, I even wrote notes.
The car had a Texas license plate that was connected to David Anthony Burke, also known as the singer-songwriter David with a four.
I have that right.
Okay.
Now, we, many of you in the audience probably are already familiar with him.
But for those of you who don't know, like Will, and I didn't know this background on him either, but David used to be a Fortnite player.
And before he was a singer-songwriter, he was a Twitch streamer.
Oh.
And so he was a part of the community in some ways.
But basically.
Will said, wash your hands before you get me chips.
I don't want pee-pee chips.
Do I look like someone who doesn't wash my hands?
I don't want to answer that.
What the hell is he gonna say something strange?
I said it to be funny.
Do you guys, if you're at home alone and you pee, do you wash your hands afterwards?
That's what a non-that's what a pee-pee-handed.
No, Absolutely.
If you were at home alone, do you wash your hands?
If I was about to grab someone food, no, yes, of course.
But no, he's just saying home alone.
If you're home alone, you're playing video games, you got a piss.
Do you go pee?
Do you wash your hands afterwards?
No.
Sometimes, sometimes.
But I also, thank you.
I thought I was the only fucking one.
But I also don't touch my dick.
That's what, yeah.
I just.
You know what I am?
I wash my hands before I touch my penis.
So you don't get your dick dirty.
That's right.
I got a clean penis.
Hell yeah.
All right.
All right.
Getting back to the story.
The license plate is tied back to David Anthony Berg, 20-year-old singer-songwriter, also known as David.
And David is on tour.
David actually is performing that night and he continues performing for the next couple of spots for his new album that just came out.
Right now, obviously, at first glance, a lot of people know him.
He's always presented himself as this like super nice guy, super kind guy.
Found out later that he was also like, he had like a David's prayer thing, like his Christian bit of a red flag, maybe for that level of like performative Christianity.
But regardless, I actually met him for 30 seconds at Terry Yummy's birthday party.
And my takeaway from that interaction was like, wow, this seems like a very nice guy.
Like surprising.
But the reason why I'm describing this is because apparently David had a very shadowy, mysterious, dark side that nobody really knew about.
So once this story comes out, everyone's like, oh, that can't be our David, right?
Like people were basically saying, okay, the police actually come out and say he's not a suspect.
His own team comes out and says he's cooperating with the authorities.
He's aware of the situation.
He goes back out.
He's still touring.
So obviously, like, you know, the car was abandoned.
The Tesla itself was abandoned in Hollywood Hills.
And it was, I, they initially said it was reported as stolen, but apparently it wasn't reported as stolen.
But like, the car was also moving around as well a little bit too in the neighborhood.
So they only figured out that there was a smell.
And in the final spot that it was parked, it was there for five days before it was impounded.
Exactly.
So people are like, maybe it was stolen.
I don't know how you steal a Tesla.
I feel like these things are, you know, constantly monitored, right?
It's, I mean, it's basically an iPad.
Will got stolen.
It's true, but you found Tesla.
But you found it.
I stole it back.
But you found it.
Well, I used the app to locate.
That's what I mean.
Oh, I see.
I see.
That's precisely what I mean, though, because a Tesla is like almost always on.
You can, like, you have real-time location data on it, right?
Like, so it's a little bit, it's a lot more difficult, I feel like, to steal and then, you know, lose.
The one thing that was stolen from my car was a Vegeta cosplay that I never got to wear.
That was so sick.
Okay.
Well, in any case, things kind of quiet down.
Don't hit it with an okay like that.
That was mean.
We will do a Dragon Ball Z cosplay together one day.
Eat my dick.
Eat his dick.
He's not your friend now.
Okay.
He knows what you got on the quiz last week.
So, so basically, a week passes by, and the authorities are trying to identify if this is a homicide or not.
And because the body is so decomposed, they can't figure out if it's dismembered.
It was, I think, in a bag in the front view.
And they can't figure out who it is.
And only after some information is revealed that she had a tattoo of, I believe they said shush, which will be important, but I think it might actually say David on the index finger, but maybe it says shush.
I think it's a shush, and it's a matching tattoo.
Yeah, that's what, but I've also seen a photo of a tattoo that actually looks like that, but it says David instead.
But regardless, it's probably shush, right?
Because the mother finds out about this through, I think, TMZ and reveals that this is a missing person by the name of, you have the name right?
Celeste Rivas.
Celeste Rivas.
And she's been missing since April of 2024.
Yes.
So from a poor working class family, the reason why I'm mentioning this is because it's very clear that law enforcement didn't do too much to figure out if this person actually was missing or was a runaway or even investigate.
Real quick, what's noteworthy is she had gone missing prior and had been found in Hollywood, returned, and then went missing again.
And the last time she went missing was April 2024.
And for those of you who don't know, when a family reports that their children are missing, because this is something that happens quite frequently, there's like, I think, I believe it's like 800,000 a year or something.
That doesn't literally mean that they got kidnapped by like a guy in a white van.
And more often than not, it's either runaways or people that are found.
The overwhelming majority of them are found, or it's a custody battle usually with like an immediate family member.
So this is part of the reason I assume that the police were like, oh, like she's just running away from home, right?
Like she'll return.
Maybe that's the reason why they didn't take care of it or maybe because they're just awful at their jobs.
Regardless, once the victim is identified, all of a sudden more information comes out that this victim was actually connected to David the singer in some very meaningful and very nefarious ways.
It turns out that Celeste was actually at the age of 11 and 12 in David's Discourse, a Discord, a part of his fan club.
And David actually was dating Celeste, who was, again, 11 years old.
At the time of her passing, she had not actually even turned 15.
So she passed away at the age of 14.
David right now is 20 years old, which means that when he was 17 and she was like 11, that's when they first established contact.
So this is one of those really awful situations where like the best case scenario is that David is a pedophile.
And the worst case scenario is that he's a pedophile who's also a murderer, allegedly, which is an insane thing to say.
There's like, there's all this back and forth.
People find out, you know, Celeste was potentially on his stream.
There's another Celeste involved in the story as well who was of age.
But one of the more insane things that actually XQC of all people fucking put together was that I'm not even kidding.
This is literally like an investigation by the juicer himself, who dug deep.
A juice exclusive.
Yeah, a juice closive.
He looked at some of the premieres of one of the songs that David had released in 2022.
This is after they had already established contact with Celeste.
Marsh, can you play the music video and we'll get into it a little bit further?
I have a whole Twitter thread that this is me talking about Taylor Swift music.
I know this was supposed to be Austin's story, but I did a lot of deep dive into this.
It's a romantic homicide homicide.
But there's also, there's a Twitter thread that I send you after we watch Romantic Homicide that goes through.
There's multiple of his songs that allude to.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't believe this fucker has a song called Romantic Homicide.
Oh, just wait.
It doesn't end there.
You can get to the part where it's like the most replayed part, like around there.
Yeah.
In the back of my mind.
Listen to the lyrics.
You died.
And I didn't even cry.
No, not a single tear.
And I'm sick of waiting patiently for someone that won't even arise.
So he says in the lyrics in the back of my mind, you died and I didn't even cry.
And there's a lot of themes about waiting, about waiting in almost all of his songs.
And a lot of people are now speculating that he was actually talking about waiting for her to be of age so they can like reveal that they're in a relationship.
But the reason why this is quite sinister is because at this point, he was already aware of, I mean, he was already in a relationship allegedly with Celeste.
And not only was he allegedly in a relationship with Celeste, that the actresses that he used in every single music video actually look quite a bit like Celeste.
And not only that, but also the music video was premiered on her birthday.
And in the verses, does it say that's another song that was not revealed?
I believe that song was unreleased, but they leaked it.
And in the song, that song, he says, oh, Celeste, the girl with my name tattooed on her chest, smell her on my clothes like cigarettes.
I hear her voice each time I take a breath.
I'm obsessed.
Oh, Celeste, afraid you'll only love me when I'm dressed.
But you look so damn gorgeous in that dress.
Missing you so much makes me depressed.
But I digress.
That's insane.
And this is a compilation, I suppose.
This is so sad, man.
This is so fucked up.
So I have seen some things on the internet about how maybe there was some other love interest or something like that, and that he was alluding to.
Obviously, sick.
That one's the one we already watched.
The romantic homicide one.
Yeah.
Romantic homicide.
So, yeah, it's.
Oh, my God.
So he hasn't been formally charged yet.
He has not been.
And what's crazy is he's not considered a suspect as of now.
Still.
And he's not even considered a person of interest as really.
However, once this information was revealed, okay, once the victim was identified, he did actually cancel his Seattle spot that was supposed to happen tonight.
We don't know where he is, but as far as we understand, Los Angeles Police Department, according to them, he's cooperating and he is not even a suspect.
Marsha's speculating that this motherfucker did it.
I don't know.
It would be one of the worst coincidences of all time.
Yeah.
If this dude had nothing to do with it.
Yeah.
I mean, I would feel really bad for him if he had nothing to do with it.
Well, I mean, at worst, he's or at best, he's still grooming.
Yay.
Isn't there some potential that there's another girl named Celeste?
There is another girl named Celeste as well, I believe, that he was like pictured with as well, who is, I think, even older than David.
But even if the songs are about, even if the song is about the other Celeste, the fact that it was premiered on her birthday, that's a crazy coincidence.
I'm sure everything would come to life.
There's too many people, too many eyes now.
Yeah, and also on top of that, the fact that like this girl that was that had run away from home and was reported missing, I believe so.
Yes, there's a Twitch stream that he did where she is actually on the Twitch stream.
Destroying Evidence Online00:06:15
I don't know if you saw that.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
They found this recently.
Internet sleuths have been going crazy over the story, especially because of the no motion from the fucking law enforcement side.
But there's also some suspicion that there's a photo of David with like a bunch of Celeste friends and he's like giving them a bag of cash.
So people were saying that he was like bribing people as well to keep them quiet.
But yeah, there's also photos and close friends with her and Celeste.
How long are these?
How long ago?
Oh, 2024.
Jesus.
Yeah.
January 11th, 2024, before she was officially reported as missing.
Because she was officially reported as missing in April of 2024.
She hasn't literally been seen.
No one's found clips or anything anywhere since 2024.
There's speculation that she was on a stream.
I think it was like with Arky and Yugi.
What?
Yeah, they think so.
They think it was her.
There was also speculation initially of the other Celeste being this Celeste.
I saw that video.
And people were saying, like, oh, she went to the FaZe party.
But that wasn't, I don't believe that that was the case.
I think that's a different.
That is the other Celeste.
Did they say that the way that the body was found, she may have passed long ago?
Or like how long she's been gone for a year ago, though?
I don't know if it was a year ago, but I've heard that, but I don't know, you know, to what degree.
I don't know how fast the body decomposes, but pretty fast in the sun.
Yeah, I just they say.
They say.
Yeah.
But can you pull that Twitch clip?
Yeah.
A resurface clip of David from January 11th, 2024 shows him with Celeste on stream where, what is it?
Where he tells the Moz to delete all Vos and clips after he ends the stream.
Yo, yo, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, look at answer that one.
That's so mean if you don't answer that.
Which one?
What's good, David?
Big family spamming.
Oh, thank you, Mitch.
Mitcho Kanjio.
Appreciate it.
I got a sign with him if you even.
Are we keeping it?
That's a big.
That's a fast-moving chat for however.
How long ago this was?
Yeah.
So.
Wow, this was a light episode.
Yeah.
I was thinking about this, and it's like, like, is there any remote possibility, given all of the information that's available now, that like this is just the most insane sequence of circumstances?
So the only, like, he was only hanging out with her in a friendly way, which is like impossible at that point because you're like, you're an adult.
She's a minor.
She's a very young minor.
Like, the only thing I could think of is that the only reporting that I've seen that would indicate any sort of out, which, again, it's highly unlikely based on what we've seen, is that his cars, he has multiple vehicles and his vehicles are driven by multiple different people at different times, according to reports.
But that's the only other way.
I mean, I don't know.
Yeah, me too.
No, I'm not sure.
If someone packed a dead body into my front, I think I'd be like, hold on.
Let me be a goddamn hamburger wrapper in my passenger sit.
I'm not saying he didn't do it.
I'm saying, hell no.
No, I know.
He did that shit.
No.
No, no, I know.
I know, but that's what I was just, I was entertaining what Hassan said.
So the reason why I said this, the reason why I said this is because, like, I'm thinking, like, is there, is there any possibility?
This is not a defense of him at all, obviously.
I have already made up my mind.
There would need to be some kind of extreme defense, like them being able to date when the body passed away.
And he's in, like, Japan at that time.
Yeah.
That is like, but even then, it's like, maybe the assassination.
You know what I mean?
Maybe he, like, maybe he got someone else.
The only way I can see any possibility of that is some ironclad like alibi.
But again, is it a bit strange that the police haven't like...
That's what I'm saying.
What the fuck are they doing?
I think sometimes what you do is if you suspect the person, then they become a flight wrist, especially if they're like a very wealthy person.
So they might be trying to find like definitive evidence before they make charge suspect.
At risk of like him being obviously very young and wealthy and unstable if he's dating and murdering a 14-year-old girl.
So they might be trying to like slowly close the trap on him without him noticing, especially because like he might be destroying evidence if they're like, you're a suspect.
So they're just kind of.
I think he's destroying evidence if this comes out.
I'm saying he didn't destroy his Tesla.
He left his Tesla on the street.
That's true.
Yeah.
I can't comprehend it.
I can't understand it.
It's bizarre.
I don't get it at all.
There was a couple reposts on TikTok that were like really weird as well, of him like reposting, like when you see your girlfriend talk to someone else and it's like a Patrick Bateman like frame from the.
That's the thing is there's a lot of, there's a lot of evidence online that points to them having some sort of relationship.
It just lines up.
So also also, her mom did you see?
Her mom said that like that she had a boyfriend named David.
She did that was.
That was the first connective tissue in the story.
And, yeah me, if I see her talk to talk with other dudes and it's just like cutting, like cutting chicken me after hearing about her past with other boys, I'm jealous and utterly disgusted by her actions.
Jesus Christ, I don't know where this text message came from, but oh he, he reposted.
Yeah, imagine we were two cannibals in the late 80s who randomly met.
What the fuck?
Connective Tissue in the Story00:01:38
Yeah, that's okay yeah, this.
So there's some like really freaky shit going on here.
Um obviously, like uh the the uh, the songs have you know?
I mean he was performing the songs, romantic comma songs.
Oh wait, hold on.
I didn't tell you another thing.
He would bring a little casket.
Oh yeah, to all of his events.
Yeah, and people would write notes to their deceased loved ones and put it in the casket.
That's weird.
It's so strange.
It's like he was trying to get caught.
Also, how the fuck did this guy get motion?
He's so lame well, so lame.
Well, I don't listen to music.
Well, by the time this podcast comes out, you will probably have a lot more information than we do right now.
Uh, but with that, we are going to depart this portion and we're moving to the patreon, so check us out at Fearannpatreon patreon.com.
Slash Fearan everybody Patreon, Pure Ann.
Quickly, before we.
Marsh is a homophobic.
He just loves peeing.
What is going on?
Oh my god.
Ew, I was hoping you wouldn't draw attention to it.
It's so nasty.
Everyone thinks you're gross, Hassan.
Is that a pimple?
Go to a doctor.
It's not a normal pimple.
It's a cystic cystic agony that is scarred, and it's like.