Taylor Swift and Hasan Piker dominate this episode as hosts dissect her potential political silence, proposing a satirical "Cutie Cinderella's" sourdough blog to manipulate her stance on Palestine. They analyze her 2009 VMA trauma and the song "Innocent," while debunking white supremacist conspiracy theories by blaming Kanye West instead. The discussion veers into absurdity with fake vaccine plots in Pakistan and a rival podcast featuring older men, ultimately suggesting Swift's public persona masks deep-seated fears of isolation and controversy. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Poisonous Cashews and Birthdays00:02:07
Yeah, you're making me want to jump.
Okay.
So.
That was quick, cutie.
I've always been quick.
You can never hear it because this dumbass next to me is always like, I was on an airplane.
You are both ruthlessly snacking right now.
Did you guys know cashews are actually incredibly poisonous?
What?
Yeah.
A raw cashew in the wild, if you don't actually take the moisture out of it, is actually very poisonous.
Where'd you get this?
A snapple?
Marsh, look that up.
This is a remnants of my mother's birthday.
Or I are.
Are you trying to poison your mother?
No, no.
Are those wet cashews?
My son texted me on his mom's birthday because they didn't have enough forks.
Oh, so funny.
So funny.
That is hilarious.
Yes, cashews are poisonous.
The outer shell of cashew nut contains a toxic substance called...
I can't read that.
You read it.
It's found in Poison Ivy.
Or Soli.
Yeah, high heat removes toxic oil.
Megan is safe to eat.
Yeah.
Oh.
I'm officially also in the Dead Uncle Club.
Oh.
And I also got the news during my mom's birthday.
That is the craziest fucking way to say that you lost a family member I've ever been a part of.
That was bad.
It's true.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
I don't know how to process it.
I can tell you're sad, though.
And I should, and I should like say the right words and be like, I'm so sad.
But then also simultaneously, I'm like, why am I, what am I like trying to get attention?
You know, I didn't die.
No, that's another interesting thing is like sometimes there's there feels like there's a happy medium where you don't want to not grieve enough because you feel like you don't honor the person and you don't want to grieve too much because then you feel like you're making it about yourself.
Yeah.
Processing Family Loss Trauma00:17:21
No, I've made my dead mom my personality.
Yeah.
It's a good bid though.
It's a good bid.
It's my life.
You know what?
Here's what I'll say.
Because it is so important to you.
I feel like your mom is rad.
I never knew your mom, but that's crazy.
I know she's rad.
It's crazy.
You shouldn't have laughed at that.
I respect her for her hope.
I like a person that can laugh at being called a bitch after their passing.
Yeah.
She's kicking her little feet right now.
Yeah.
Really?
Through some trauma right now.
She's up there by herself.
It's her dad's planet, but she's there.
Yeah.
I wonder how that works.
That must be better.
What?
Like, as a Mormon lady, because like Mormon women go, Mormon wives go to their first husband's planet and they spend the rest of their lives in eternity there.
Well, no, because my stepmom also got sealed to him, so there'll be two women.
That's the term sealed?
Yeah.
You go through the temple, you get sealed to someone for a day.
Yeah, but your stepmom is alive.
Yeah, but when she dies, she's going to have to hang out with my mom and not like each other.
Okay, but hear me out.
She's already at the planet by herself, so she could set up booby traps.
Booby traps for your stepmom.
Yeah.
It's a crazy idea.
And if your stepmom dies before your dad dies, she goes up there too.
And now your mom can kill your stepmom.
That'd be awesome.
Crazy idea.
If you guys both hit 40 without getting married, you should get sealed.
In the temple?
Yes.
They'll have to get baptized.
I mean, you guys baptized and Frank and Adolf Hitler.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That was when they were dead.
He was a real piece of shit.
They didn't get a consent.
They didn't get a consent.
Yeah.
Say at 40, no one's gonna take you either of you in.
You're both too peculiar.
He's taken.
That's true.
But if you hit 40 and you guys still are married, something's going on.
Yeah, you're actually a beer.
I'm just gonna swoop in.
I'm gonna swoop in and be like, enough.
Yeah, just a nice sealing.
You guys are still, you guys are still.
You guys can do a quick seal and soak.
Yeah, you guys are still dating.
Oh, oh, I don't want to soak.
No, wait, hold on.
Can you seal without soaking?
Yeah, you'd never have to consummate the marriage.
Yeah, so you can do a soak and seal.
Do Mormons ride like that?
What do you mean?
You don't have to fuck to be sealed to your...
Correct.
You know what I thought would be affected?
That is kind of crazy.
What?
If you take on work as a jiggler or whatever they're called.
What?
Oh, the guy, the jumper, the jumper on the bed.
Jumper.
When you're soaking.
That's not real.
I don't know about that.
I haven't been able to do it.
It's always the non-Mormon people.
You filled out a task rabbit where you're like five bucks, two hours, and then you Twitch streamed you jumping on a bed just from your waist up, but the chat knew that you were causing motion in the ocean.
Why would I stream that?
Or the jumping is controlled by bits.
Bro, you just turned it into.
Oh my God, you just invented Mormon cam like size.
Yeah.
I did.
I don't want to.
On cam sites, you can like pay for it.
I don't want to jump on stream.
Is what a friend told me.
I don't know, but you can pay for boost.
And it's like, it makes the purchases.
Quick soak and seal.
Oh my God.
On the Patreon episode, should we go to Cam websites and get someone to say, shout out Fioran?
I love that.
Oh, and the intro is just like 100 cam girls going, wow, you're not watching.
We're blessing 100.
Yeah, I mean, we're putting them through school.
That's crazy.
Kaya, out.
Oh, wait.
That's, you were wearing that around your neck?
I thought that was Kaya's.
No, it was mine.
Oh.
Why?
Would you put it?
Did you put it around Kaya's neck?
You're wiping your ass with that.
No, I put it on Kaya's neck and she kind of put it in her mouth and we played with it a little bit.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Cool.
So, guys.
Taylor swept this out.
No, I was thinking, I think, I was just, I don't want to be the one to bring it up.
Who am I to do that?
I mean, we're kind of hoping we're going to be able to do it.
Can we just address what time of day we're filming this?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just for reference, QD and I have been on stage for the last 13 hours straight.
When I was younger.
Okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
We're getting really care about.
I didn't really care about being a fan of any celebrity.
I've seen him posters.
Why are you guys laughing at me?
I don't know.
I'm excited though.
No, I'm excited that you're opening up.
I'm excited you're opening up.
This is a big moment.
It is a big moment.
Do you're nuts?
I didn't really like fuck with sports either.
Like, I didn't like watching sports teams.
I didn't care about it.
Can I pause you?
And I always thought I was fucked up.
What?
These are the worst almonds I've ever had.
Well, those are, that's a very specific kind of almond.
Yeah, it's dog shit.
Caches are great.
Yeah, they're soft.
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, that's not, that's like a raw almond.
Why would you ever buy that?
I don't know.
It's like a different type of almond.
It's for a shortcut or roast.
Wet ass.
What?
Let me have one.
It's a raw almond.
You never have one.
There's like no skin.
Is this poison?
No, nothing.
He's like girdled milk.
It's also soft.
Suck.
I don't think your nuts are supposed to be this soft.
Yeah, your nuts suck, dude.
No, dirt.
Churches just have bad nuts.
No, cashes are great.
They're like soft.
Like your house is humid and they're sucking up the moisture.
No, this is.
Those suck too.
I'm eating them because I'm just a girl after all.
Do you not like the caches?
They're just really soft.
This is like when white women cook chicken without seasoning.
Not this white woman.
No, you cook.
I use Lowry's.
What?
Kai's got something weird on her neck.
Oh, it's just bite marks.
Oh, it's like crunchy.
Yeah, it's bite marks of scabbed.
Ew.
Is that from the dog fighting ring that I operate?
Oh, dog fighting.
Yeah, why do you think she's so big, bro?
The big red dog.
Yeah.
No, she loves she loves playing a little too rough with the Belgian melanois that just chomps on her neck and just like sticks.
And she can't feel anything because she's like a mastiff type.
I was about to say that.
Wow, damn.
I didn't realize we were fat shaming my dog.
I mean, I fat shame her a lot.
She is, she is fat.
No, you're beautiful.
But yeah, this has been a big week for all of us.
I am on a magazine.
Yeah.
That Taylor Swiss boyfriend is also on, and we're both wet.
Yeah.
And Mark Sandy.
Taylor Swift has seen Hassan Piker shirtless.
We don't know.
She might skip that part.
No, no, no, I agree.
That's the math.
Like, there is a very, there is a non-zero chance.
There's a non-zero chance that she was like flipping through the.
She was flipping through.
She maybe even thought you were Travis for a second.
That's what I'm saying.
She's like, oh, like she was flipping through.
I was like, wait, he did a bath?
Oh, wait.
That's not.
Yeah.
Who is that?
Like, that, you think that happened?
I think that happened.
I think that happened.
That happened.
Maybe we should call it an ask.
Wait, what do you?
I want to talk about that.
I don't think that happened.
What do you mean you don't think that happened?
Why not?
Women are garbonzo.
Air delivery.
I'll eat anything.
All right, but for real.
He didn't respond to this.
Yeah.
It was reported by Dex Stark Todex.
That's not even a real place.
That's not what you read.
What did you just say?
It's Austinox.
Dexter To Dex?
Dexter.
You just gave up halfway through.
You just said Dex, and then you just made the rest up.
Yeah, you kind of freestyled it.
Mom's spaghetti.
Austin.
Dick Surdonox.
Like Dick Surdo, but Austinox.
The Sterdinox.
Dexter.
Close enough.
I just, I only reply to real hard-hitting journalism.
Wow.
What qualifications does have replying to random people on TikTok being like, if I had a crush on a streamer, but their ex is so pretty?
And you were like, who's yeah, you said, give me the tea?
You know that TikTok had like 600 likes.
I don't know.
It showed up on my 40s.
What the hell are you doing?
And that means I'm for you.
Let me hear your tea.
Yes.
You said, let me hear your tea.
And she responded and was like, she was like, I love Twitter.
It's like, it's not Hassan.
She's like, it's not Hassan.
It was two months ago.
It would have been Hassan.
I think it was Hassan for the record.
When I see someone, okay, let's unpack that for a second.
You see just a girl on TikTok that says, I have a crush on a streamer.
You assume it's you.
I didn't.
I had to investigate.
No, I saw on my 40 page, I saw it's not Hassan replies to Cutie Cinderella.
And I was like, what the fuck is this?
And then as a boomer, I had to like click through the TikTok's awful.
Can't a girl have hobbies?
And it's replying to people's TikToks.
You do love replying to TikToks.
You and Phineas both.
We have so much in common.
You do.
Me and him.
We both love potatoes.
We both love Billie Eilish.
Oh, God, a potato.
We both love making music.
Crazy right now.
I just ate so much random junk.
Yeah.
Sadly.
I doubt two Bulgogis that you brought.
I didn't like.
I'll say it.
I didn't like some parts of your interview.
I didn't like the part that was like so many women or gay men would chain, they would do anything for the spot.
I have watching Hassan pump his muscles with sweat beat it on his chest hair.
I was like, What is this?
You did memorize the passage.
This is crazy.
I mean, it's GQ, so I think it was like, okay, here's my question.
It's supposed to be irreverent.
I mean, this respectfully style.
Who's GQ target audience?
Gentlemen at a quarterly pace.
Yeah.
Gentlemen's quarterly.
Gentleman's Quarterly.
Yeah, GQ.
I read it when I was growing up.
So men.
Yeah.
Straight men.
Straight men, gay men, all types of strains.
I'm convinced that all straight men are gay.
It's like, well, yes.
I mean, they just are.
I think your significant other sets a bad precedent.
What does that mean?
He's saying Lud's gay as fuck.
He is not gay as fuck for the record.
So he's a moderate.
Yes, all of you are.
All of you are.
No, we're gay as hell.
But like, we're like cool, gay.
Yeah, we're sick.
Ludwig's cool, gay.
Oh, guys.
Stop.
Oh, God.
Ludwig is very cool gay.
Nah.
He's so gay.
He's like, my boyfriend's gay, okay?
He's like, oh, I like Marvel movies type gay.
No, he doesn't like Marvel movies.
We're like getting nasty in the bathroom.
That's right.
No, he's just a little more shy.
I'm Mr. Turn Your Boyfriend gay.
Gay.
He's just gay, okay?
He's like, Yeah, he's a stay at home, sit on the couch.
Cool, gay.
Won't even watch drag race type gay.
Yeah.
He doesn't know one drag racer.
That's true.
There you go.
Ask me a question.
Ask me a name.
Ask me a name right now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What do you think?
What drag race do you think we're talking about?
Wait.
Drag racer?
I didn't even catch that.
No, I know you're talking about RuPaul.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
But he doesn't know who RuPaul is.
Oh, turn, cover girl.
But he knows any freaking anime guy.
That's true.
She fracks.
Yeah, she's a big property owner and fracks.
RuPaul frax?
Yeah.
Look it up.
March, pull it up.
RuPaul.
Frack queen.
That's a people's problematic fave right there.
What?
Where's she fracking at?
RuPaul's face criticism for leasing land he owns in Wyoming for fracking operations.
Yeah, I just didn't, I don't really understand.
Like, I read that article and I was, I, that was my thought was who's supposed to be reading this?
Yeah.
Um, Son Biker fans.
Yeah.
And just like dudes in general.
I mean, I've never read it, so they did get me.
Apparently, uh, ESPN analyst was, read it and was, like, right, um, was posting about it on Blue Sky.
I forget her name now.
Mina?
Mina Kynes?
Yeah.
Oh, I love Mina Kynes.
Yeah, she's like, I think she's also friends with Dan Lebetard, so that's probably why she's like, yeah, Mina Kynes is a down-ass bitch and she knows football.
Yeah, well, she also knows Hasanabi.
There are so many football commentators that I don't agree with any of their takes.
She's a down-ass bitch.
She knows her shit.
If you ever want to come on the pod, Mina, we'd have you in a second.
Wait, what was she talking about on Blue Sky?
Is that what she said?
Yeah, she was posting on Blue Sky.
Like, I feel crazy old reading this article on Hasanabi.
And it was just like the segment of the article where it's like, Hassan hangs out with like Speedrunner Poincaré, which I, I didn't say that.
That was awesome.
No, it was crazy.
Shout out to Point Crow.
Because, like, it was like...
Wait, Crow got a shout out.
Shout out to I got it.
You did too, but like, no, you did, but it was like offhanded.
No, it was like, no, he did.
Everybody did.
Wait, why?
Shout out.
Did Austin not?
Oh, you didn't?
Yeah.
What was my shout out?
No, he was like saying like he does his podcast with his friends.
Cutie Cinderella, Will Neff.
No, but that's what I'm saying.
I didn't even tell him.
I didn't even tell him like, he was asking me, like, what do you do?
Blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, oh, well, I just like hang out with normie friends all the time.
I don't like really want to reveal her identities because why the fuck would I do that?
Then, but then he asked me about like what I did the day prior, and I'd play basketball.
And I was like, oh, I play basketball with like these bunch of streamers.
Like the streamer Ludwig, he throws it.
He throws like a Sunday ball session.
And he was like, who are the streamers?
And then I told him, like, oh, it's like Buddha, Ludwig, Point Crow was there.
And he just wrote that as like, he hangs out with his friends, Ludwig Buddha, and Point Crow.
The speedrunner.
You do hang out with Point Crow, the speedrunner, all the time.
I want to say something about the article.
I could have taken better photos of you.
Gaspo.
Those photos sucked.
GQ, you need to fucking do better.
Gaspo.
That's crazy.
That's like...
That's what?
They were okay.
No, I thought they were great.
First of all, shouts out to the photographer.
She did a great job.
I stand by it.
If anything, it's my fault if the photos look bad.
I'll take credit.
Yeah, you're ugly.
Maybe you should get crazier with me.
But the camera, the camera that she shot everything with was like this Japanese camera that you have to crank every time.
It was on film.
What I'm saying is, I used to take photos of you.
If I'm taking a soundpiker photos, I'm getting seats wet.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think it was fine.
Can we pull it up, Mark?
I'm frothing up late.
Yeah.
Can we?
Not bad.
No, just like the actual photos.
Yeah, I'll pull it up.
It's on Instagram too.
Probably find it on GQ Instagram.
They did tweet about it a bunch.
They posted some of my choice quotes from it when I said, like, Big Z, he's going to bring Woke Sharia to New York.
Every building has to face Mecca.
Yeah, why are you talking like this?
Yeah, what the fuck are you talking like what?
I don't know.
It sounds like you're rapping.
Wait, what?
Yeah, that does sound like a rap song.
You sound like Action Bronson.
Bro.
This photo is weird.
Yeah.
Yeah, I look not great.
I will admit.
Was that photo?
Not great.
This photo not great.
That one's good.
That one's good.
You look very vascular.
Yeah, that one looks good.
Yeah, like you think, you think Taylor Swift's like passing through the pages, right?
And then, like, I do think that.
And then she's like, she's like, I do.
You think she's licking her quickly passing?
Licking her finger, like, and then just like, you know, flipping through.
Who's purchasing a paper magazine?
Her boyfriend's in it.
Her boyfriend's in it.
She's reading the stupid ass articles.
Wait, first of all, you probably will purchase the magazine because her boyfriend's in it.
Yes.
I don't know how many times I've had to explain to you guys.
I'm a Taylor Swift fan.
I don't give a shit about Travis Kelsey.
I don't care.
I don't care what man.
So you didn't watch the podcast?
No, I haven't actually.
Wait.
I wasn't born there.
I know.
I was busy asking.
I wasn't watching.
No, I have always been this way.
Do you even lie to me?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I think Chapel Roan is taking the brain in her heart.
You got a raging Chapel Roan.
She's so dumb inside.
A Chapel Roaner.
No.
Listen.
I don't care about Travis Kelsey.
Tears on your not knowing how to spell squirrel.
What?
Tears on your sweater.
No.
What was it?
Guitar.
Tears on your guitar.
Get back the scarf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you stole my scarf.
I love Taylor Swift.
I'm not changing my opinion.
I don't know.
I feel like I was just throwing it your way to test you and you failed.
I feel like you forgot who Taylor Swift.
We're worried about it.
I know Taylor Swift enough that she's not looking at your ass in a dumbass tub.
I'm pretty sure when she's flipping through the band, she stopped because I was like, oh, there's my beautiful.
Taylor Swift Fan Wars00:05:02
Why would she have a paper version?
Because it was sent to him because he's in the magazine.
It's just not happening.
No, that's what magazines do.
She cares about the environment.
She's not getting cheaper.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, she cares about it.
She burned the paper.
She was like, send me 10 more so I can burn a couple.
That was freaking funny.
Okay, she saw you.
Now you think she loves you now?
I think she probably was like, oh, is that my T?
Is that big T?
While she was scrolling through, and then she was like, whoa, wait a minute.
No.
What is this article about?
She said, that's big H.
No, this guy seems like a cool guy.
And then she read the article and was like, fuck Israel.
That's what I want to say.
I'm Taylor Swift.
I'm saying, fuck Israel.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's what I think happened.
Do you want to cut that?
No.
This is so fucking stupid.
So, if you don't know, I'm going to watch the New Heights episode.
Just like, God, how many millions of people actually watched it?
Oh, 1 million.
It lied.
No, I know.
It's got 12 million views.
I checked.
Yeah.
You know what his other episodes have?
25,000 views.
I looked at that podcast.
I was like, that's crazy.
There's some with like 300K.
It depends.
They had Bill Murray on.
Yeah.
Bill Murray, if you ever want to come on, baby.
People got really mad at me.
People, football fans.
Am I right?
Oh, I hate them.
Especially Jets fans.
Because I was saying, I was like, okay, Taylor clearly loves this guy.
If she's doing, she has never done an album announcement this chill.
Well, I gave you my theory.
Yeah, you did give me your theory.
I had the same theory.
Oh, you have the same theory.
And also, I think Travis Kelsey in the wee hours, this is so fucking parasocial.
What am I doing?
In the wee hours of the night, it was like, oh, babe, I'm stressed about my career.
I don't want to do this much longer.
My shoulder hurts.
But what about your podcast?
And he's like, ah.
And she's like, well, what if I do my album announcement?
He's like, oh, would you do that?
She's like, yeah, I'll do that.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that parasocial as fuck?
I can do it too.
Yeah, but also at the same time, I feel like the audience profile is very different.
So, I mean, it doesn't matter.
It got freaking.
Yeah, Taylor got people into the Kansas City Chiefs.
I know, but like, but like, you know, they're there because they want to get a chrome of Taylor.
I feel like if they're just like talking about it, but if they get married and you know that Taylor's in the other room every single time he's recording, then it's like.
I'm going to say 15 million.
I saw earlier it was 12 mil.
So I'm assuming.
Yeah.
Okay.
13 mil.
Yeah.
It's it's it's crazy.
So I was I was on my stream, obviously.
I was watching the countdown on her website for the new album.
Wait, so you were live streaming and you didn't watch their live stream premiere?
No, this was before that.
This was the original countdown freaking on Monday.
Yeah, yeah.
And so, and I was talking about it and I was like, it's so crazy because we, at this point, we knew she was going on the podcast.
It's like, it's so crazy that she's going on the podcast.
Like, what the.
I was like, honestly, it's crazy how much, like, she must really like this guy because she's putting him on more than like ever.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, Calvin Harris, he got a song from her.
You know, John Mayer got a duet.
She want, what was that?
Joe Allen got a feature.
TikTok's like, she's a teeny tiny girl.
Oh, my God.
That's insane.
Yo, Mark, can you pull that up?
No, don't.
No one needs to watch that ever again.
Judy Cinderella, spiritual spirit animal.
It's this person that's like.
She was like, I'm just so excited.
No, no, it's cool.
Pull it up.
I don't know what to do.
Taylor Krazya Shaw.
Tyrant, teeny tiny girl.
Yeah, Taylor Swift, teeny tiny girl, TikTok, viral.
So anyway, so I was streaming and I said, I was like, this is crazy that she's putting him on so much.
She's putting him on more than she's ever put on a man.
Like, I will say, I mean, Maddie Healy, she put on quite a bit.
Yeah, the first one.
The first one.
Oh, God.
It's so, this is so.
So excited that Taylor Swift gets to be small girl with Travis Kelsey because he is large boy and she gets to be small girl.
He can just scoop her up.
She's not gonna be the monster on my house.
She gets to be small girl.
Small girl, she always dates these smedium men.
Wait, pause the relationship.
This lady fired 35 people right after this.
Why?
From her PR agency.
Because she's making like small girls.
Yeah, I'm just making it up.
But I'm just what the I'm just trying to say that like this is a person with a job.
Why are you besurging the small person with a job?
At a high, this is an executive.
This is a marketing executive.
Is she?
I mean, she's got a million.
She's not a marketing executive.
Chris Tucker Voice Gaffe00:03:28
What are you talking about?
I think she was a marketing executive then, maybe.
You're just making it.
You're just saying stuff.
Okay.
Let's fucking go.
We're going to stalk this woman.
What is that?
We were.
That's why we just started.
Oh, sorry.
No, we're not doing that.
Sorry.
My apologies.
So how often do you feel like never?
Lobu doesn't make you feel teeth anymore.
We're the same size.
I feel bad now that.
Nah, he's got back.
He's got a main move.
You guys.
Okay, excuse me.
Bind and soak.
That's true.
No, we're not binding and soaking.
Oh, my God.
I'm not soaking.
That's crazy.
I'll jump for you guys.
Yeah, you're making me want to jump.
Okay.
So.
That was quick, QD.
I've always been quick.
You can never hear it because this dumbass next to me is always like, I was on an airplane.
Yeah, fuck him.
You guys want to hear about the gay sex I had recently?
Come on.
What's the last one?
I hate my landlord.
Like, I don't know.
Wait, that was a banger.
Like, you can do both now.
Okay, I'm going to be honest.
We're cutting the crazy thing is with the rest of your impressions considered.
That's the best impression you've ever done.
All right, wait, wait, wait.
You're not really setting a high bar here.
I got one.
America.
What is that?
He's just using America.
That's my Obama.
Oh, God.
America.
That's so bad.
I don't even know if it's problematic or not.
No, that's like, that's the safest.
Hey, here's my Obama.
Just kidding.
It's just my voice because there's nothing different.
Like, you know what I mean?
That's like, that's what you did.
That's very based of him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a white dude on TikTok singing along the room.
Are you racist again?
No, no, we're saying you're anti-racist.
Like, imagine she tried to do like Chris Tucker voice or something.
Like, this is my Obama.
One, two, three.
That would have been racist if you did that.
Okay.
No.
I can do it because I'm good at it.
Yeah.
Well, that's the rule.
The rule is if you're good at it, then you can do it.
If you're bad, do your race.
What does he say?
One, two, three.
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
I don't know if that's very good.
I'm just.
It's so good.
Okay, play Chris Tucker for a second.
It's so good.
Play Chris Tucker.
Marge, pull that out.
Sometimes Marsh doesn't want to listen to you.
Yeah, right.
Do your fucking job.
He won't even book a fucking guess.
He's like, it's not my job.
I'm the producer.
I don't book guess.
I don't even know.
It is your job.
Pull up fucking Chris Tucker.
Pull up a job application.
I don't pull up.
Pull up a LinkedIn.
Make an account, Marsh.
Sorry, I'm usually defending you, but this I had some funny ones, so I threw him in there.
Side torture.
I just feel like telling someone to make a LinkedIn.
Bro, still typing Chris Tucker.
Oh, my God.
What do you want me to look up?
Chris Tucker!
Mare hair.
What's up?
Why'd you kill him?
I just told him we were smoking, man.
And we were just chilling.
That's ice cube.
That's so bad.
That's good.
That wasn't a bad.
That was bad.
Thank you.
Okay, you can pause now.
I prove my point.
I'm not doing it, Chris Tucker, when my Obama already peaked.
Yeah, Obama's pretty good.
There's no reason to go to the bottom.
I mean, the Austin show.
Fake Vaccines and Bin Laden00:07:09
Thank you.
Tremendous.
He's going to call me about that.
He's going to make.
Do you like me?
Barbecue ribs?
And Pussy Two.
Who was that?
Pull up pussy to Obama.
We don't.
We don't.
No, pull it up.
When was Obama talking about pussy?
Oh, you got to see it to believe it, girl.
What?
Oh, yeah.
He was reading something.
I forget what it was.
Yeah.
Another guy said, but I tell you what, you won't see me moving to no African jungle anytime soon.
Or some goddamn desert somewhere sitting on a carpet with a bunch of Arabs.
No, sir.
And you won't see me stop eating no ribs either.
Gotta have them ribs.
And pussy too.
Don't Malcolm talk about no pussy?
Now, you know, that ain't gonna work.
Is he reading a book?
Yeah.
I forget the context of this.
I just, it lives in my mind.
I think I like the thing that he said that.
Damn.
He did say ethereal bisexuals that he tried to rizz up in college by behaving, like acting like he was a socialist.
He fake, he was a fake Marx.
I feel like you guys have that in common.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm sorry.
That was just me.
Yeah.
That and the war crimes.
Damn.
Truly.
You're learning so much.
This is like my little American.
Didn't I teach you about 9-11?
Oh, I'll tell you about it.
You want to know?
What happened on 9-11?
I watched a documentary a few weeks ago.
What is it called?
Uh-oh.
Why are you making that face?
I just, because this could go very south, very quick.
Knowing your profile and your eclectic taste and your algorithm, you could have watched a very weird 9-11 document.
I watched it on Netflix and it was really good.
No, it's the one on Netflix.
It was really good.
It was like Manhunt Osama bin Laden.
That's not even a 9-11 document.
That documentary sucks, by the way.
They have like Mick Booyah in it.
Robert O'Neill.
Who the fuck is that?
The guy, one of the dudes who fake shot Osama.
Wait, he fake shot him?
Well, these Navy SEALs, the ones that do come out and like write books and do like tell-alls are notorious fabulous.
Like they make a lot of stuff up.
Am I going to hear about this fucking album or what?
No, no.
Wait, hold on.
She said it was good.
She's explaining 9-11 and I want to know.
No.
I don't know what 9-11 is.
What happened on 9-11?
Well, the guy, what's crazy.
Which guy?
Well, the one guy, K, he starts with a K, and he took, he's the mastermind behind 9-11 on Osama bin Laden got all the credit.
Uh-huh.
Do you know his name?
I don't know.
But he also bombed the towers in freaking the 90s.
Can you believe?
Well, that wasn't Osama bin Laden.
The blind cheek.
Yeah, but that was his move.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
That documentary, I don't, I think that's more so how they found Osama bin Laden.
Yeah, it was crazy.
Yeah, you want to hear it?
You know, he was just at his house walking, pacing, and they just watched his shadow.
I just, it's just he was right next to the ISI's military training facility.
That's where his compound was, which is why a lot of people suspect that maybe they knew about where he was beforehand.
And they just kind of pulled the trigger for some good, some good clout.
Some people say he didn't even get killed.
But they poured him in the ocean.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, that's exactly.
Why didn't they show him?
Oh, shit.
Why didn't they bring him and try him?
Okay, well, it sounds like you have all the counterpoints to the documentary.
I saw you.
No, I didn't think I did.
I don't know anything about 9-11.
Keep going.
It sounds like I know nothing.
No, no, no.
Keep going about 9-11.
I want to understand.
It's just that a guy shot him.
Yeah.
And they found video games on his computer, and that was crazy to me.
Yeah, he had, uh, fuck.
You can still pull up on one of these websites, like I forget which one, on the government website.
They have, like, all the trove of data that was on his, um, that was on his hard drives.
They leak that?
Yeah.
We are way deep out.
Okay, okay, listen, America Me Up versus America Me Down.
Okay.
Did you guys know that in Pakistan, when they were trying to find where Osama bin Laden was, the American government initiated this thing where they did a mass inoculation campaign.
They were doing vaccines, but the vaccines weren't actually real vaccines.
It was nothing.
What?
Yeah.
They didn't put any of this in the documentary.
They did it.
Just like COVID.
Well, yeah, that too.
But no, they actually gave people in Pakistan fake vaccines to extract DNA from every single person that they had inoculated to track down potentially someone who was related to Osama bin Laden or maybe even Osama bin Laden himself.
And that created a tremendous amount of vaccine hesitancy in Pakistan.
I think it won't step further during COVID.
The Philippines is in contested territory in the backyard of China.
It's the one holdout in the entire Aegean security cooperative agreement that is still holding out and saying that like and refusing to cooperate with China, right?
Chinese military boats will constantly spray Filipino boats and stuff like that.
Chinese military will engage in like these water wars and things like that, right?
They're doing this because they're doing this at the behest of America.
So China wants good favor from the Philippines.
So during COVID, they do the soft power initiative.
Soft power is when a country wants to do something nice to another country so that like the people of that the population of that country actually like them more cool.
So China goes, okay, we have a vaccine.
It's called Cinevax, right?
We have a COVID vaccine.
This thing is obviously killing a lot of people.
And America is not sending any vaccines anywhere.
And they're actually holding on to the patents.
You got Operation Warp speed.
They won't even let like India produce the vaccines.
Bill Gates actually plays a role in like not letting the vaccine patent be released because God forbid people make vaccines for free that save people's lives.
Fuck you, Bill Gates.
China sent Cinevax to the Philippines.
The American government goes, oh shit, Filipinos, they're going to start liking the Chinese a little bit too much.
We won't be able to use the Philippines as like, you know, an instigator or we can just like, you know, kind of use that as like a last holdout in this like security cooperative that China's trying to put together.
So the American government creates an online initiative to create vaccine hesitancy in the Philippines.
They say the Cinevax makes you autistic, all this stuff.
And Filipino people get terrified of the vaccine.
So America in two separate countries has created vaccine hesitancy, which has led to many deaths as a consequence of people not getting properly inoculated against diseases.
But it's interesting because we have vaccine hesitancy all on our own.
Yeah, I think that's why we gave it to people.
Maybe we were rejecting.
Yeah, we were just like, you can have a little taste of American freedom right there.
That's crazy.
Vaccine Hesitancy in Philippines00:14:52
Yeah, there you go.
America Me Down.
I didn't know that.
Wow.
Turns out I don't need to, turns out I could just get my information from Hassan instead of watching Netflix documentaries sometimes.
No.
Keep watching Netflix documentaries in the Lemon Party.
Lemon party?
Lemon stand?
The Lemon Show.
Lemon Party is a picture of a bunch of old guys fucking each other.
Marsh, pull that up.
Lemonade Stand podcast is what you're talking about.
Marsh, pull that up.
Marsh, please don't make pull that up for a rival podcast.
Pull up lemon party.
Let's see what the territory looks like.
Marsh, type it in your browser.
Do it.
Whatever you guys do, don't watch this podcast.
This is what you'll see.
Pull that up.
There we go.
He's crying.
Are you on the verge of tears?
I don't know what it is.
It's just another rival podcast.
Dead!
Dead!
Wait, what the fuck?
Wait, go to the URL.
Yeah, that sounds like it works.
You must be over 18.
Yeah, I'm over 18.
What the fuck is that?
That's regular porn.
That's crazy.
What happened?
They scrolled the old men.
Someone needs to buy back Lemon Party.
Well, I mean, they're taking it back.
The podcast is taking it back.
They're doing their best.
They need to.
It feels like they don't care about it.
They choose Lemon Party as the name.
Is it because they fucked one of them?
Is it because they're a bunch of old white guys?
As soon as the cameras turn off, I do believe that they're fucking each other.
Yes.
Yeah.
There'll be a Netflix documentary about it someday.
Just like us.
Not cuties.
A little jumping.
Just the dudes.
Just the boys.
Just the boys.
Would you jump for Hasan and I when I soak his butt?
I don't want to jump for you guys.
Okay, you can jump.
When he soaks my ass, you can jump.
Fucking dudes, Taylor Swift.
I don't know if I could do enough.
You guys are kind of big.
You think I can move?
Matt shaming?
No, like you're just big guys.
Do you think I could move the bed?
No, I want to be small girl.
Yeah.
Then you're going to have to take it in the butt.
If you want to be the smoke, small girl, then he has to be.
I want to be small bean.
He has to be the big spoon.
I don't even know if you can soak in the ass.
Yes, you can.
Why couldn't you?
I feel like, like, I feel like it's already so hard to put it in there.
So then you just stay still, idiot.
No, but I'm saying, like, like, the whole point of soaking.
Will would not push you out.
The whole point of soaking is that you can, like, like, slipping it in is easy.
You know, oops, on accident, we just put it in.
We're not pulling it out.
But if you're putting your penis inside of an asshole, like, that requires it.
I know, there's a lot of prep, and there's a lot of, yeah.
There's a lot of prep.
And, you know, you're taking the initiative.
You're fucking at that point.
Speaking of ass play.
I saw you talking about eating vanilla mace's ass.
How's that going?
What?
I'm not.
No, we are joking.
Yo, you are on your hot girl shit.
And you're also new friends.
She's like hanging out with this girl, Katie AB or something.
Can I say something?
What is that?
That clip made me happy.
Whoa, whoa.
Because I realized that your closest friends, you say fucked up shit too.
Like, I've realized that when I'm out in public, I have to like throttle my weirdness.
Right?
So that's why, like, sometimes like I'll meet a fan.
I'll be like, hi, how you doing?
I'm well enough.
Nice to meet you.
Like, and then like 10 minutes later, I got to grab Marsh and be like, I'm going to suck your balls.
Just to, I got to get it out.
I got to get it out.
We need an HR.
And I feel like you kind of have that with Vanella Mace and your new friends now.
You look happy.
No, I don't.
Wait, why does it make a joke?
Wait, does that mean?
Yeah, but you were making a nasty joke.
Does that mean she's good friends with us?
Because she gets fucking really mean.
I am meanest to the people I like the most.
Because I know you can take it.
What the?
I can't take it.
I'm not going to change.
You want me to sleep at night?
I'm not going to change for you.
You should not want me to.
That's what I was happy about.
You know what I mean?
I'm not actually going to eat her ass.
No.
No, he's saying that.
He's saying you're the friend that you can say weird, fucked up things with.
Yeah, but that's not real.
That's just silly.
You guys actually want to suck each other off.
What are you, homophobic?
I don't know.
Yes, that's the whole point of this podcast.
What the fuck is going on?
I'm happy this one's gone.
I don't think you guys should be so gay.
My boyfriend is gay, though, so don't freaking say he's not.
Piss me off again.
You got a lot going on.
Oh, my God.
So anyway, so who are the so who's who's the new friend?
Katie B. Katie B.
Yeah.
She is a 22-year-old from Kentucky who has never kissed any of her cousins.
That's crazy.
I feel like when you say that, like to lead off, now I'm worried that she has.
I asked her explicitly.
She said no.
I feel like that's like a gold star Kentucky.
You know what I mean?
It's like, oh, I've never, I've never kissed a cousin.
They're like, come on.
I don't know.
She said she.
I did ask, in case anyone was wondering, she's never kissed a cousin.
She said that's a different part of Kentucky, which I feel like that's what I would say if I was.
Yeah.
Wait, did you kiss the cousin?
No.
I feel like, don't Mormons get down like that too?
No.
Yeah, probably.
I don't know.
Mormons definitely get down weird.
Those are different types of Mormons.
They do some same reading.
It's a different type of Mormons.
That's a different part of Utah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's when your uncle jumps for you.
Oh, God.
So, Katie's funny, though.
You'd like her.
She went viral for, will you actually pull it up, Marsh?
Katie B pimped out Chevrolet at a that's crazy that he just was so quick to that's because I'm nice to him.
That's crazy.
Like we have to beg him.
I'm like, right here.
This is where she went famous for.
All right, let's see.
28 with the candy paint.
Steady cripple mile and flipping on the end of the what do you think?
I like it.
Yeah.
What the fuck are zoomers on?
I don't even.
I'm old.
What didn't you get?
I'm old.
I just, I don't.
I mean, it was funny, but like, what was the deep fried?
She's an icon.
The deep-fried memes.
What was that?
The images.
You just have to ask.
You're too old.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, you understood the memes.
Oh, I understood it.
Okay.
It was high art.
Explain it was core to my character, actually.
Yeah.
Explain the memes.
Listen, old man.
Don't waste my time.
Okay.
Wait, why are we going to talk about this fucking Taylor Swift album?
We're going to get there.
I honestly feel like we should just delay it till the end of the episode.
No one actually wants to hear it.
That's not true.
What the fuck?
Every time I talk about Taylor Swift, they get all mad at me.
And I'm like, I'm sorry.
Okay, here's a here's a here's a law.
You've had a hard day.
Yeah.
I did a stupid trend on tech.
Okay, you want the tea?
Let's hey.
Do you guys want to hear something that makes girls sad?
I love tea.
That's what I thought.
I love tea so much.
So sometimes I want to do a Taylor Swift TikTok trend.
And so I do a Taylor Swift TikTok trend, but then everyone is mean to me.
Why?
Because I did that.
She has a song that's like, I bet you think about me in your house.
Why are you doing Mercedes-Benz in your organic shoes?
How about that?
Because there's the thing that goes with it that it's like, I know, I know all my exes are thinking about me this week due to the announcement because, like, obviously, everyone in my life thinks about me when Taylor Swift comes out because I'm an insufferable fan.
I've made Taylor Swift my personality.
Taylor Swift might as well be my middle name.
I don't.
I never thought that.
That's crazy that you just feel that way.
Well, now I'm sad that you don't.
It must be Will that made you feel that way.
I'm so sorry.
She owns that.
Would be the per.
Why would?
Why would I try so hard if, in the end, it didn't even matter?
I thought your dead mom was your personality.
I didn't.
I can have multiple personalities.
If you haven't told, you can't tell.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah queen, you can have as many personalities as, and so I did it.
And then these people, all the gone, all the, all the men in the comments.
It's crazy because all the girly pops are like, love it.
You know, like tee funny.
All the men in the comments were like, oh so you're thinking about your exes?
And i'm like, no, that's not the point.
Yeah, i'm saying that everyone in my life is thinking every, because obviously Taylor Soft writes about her exes.
So that's the layer to the joke too is like because people are always like that's all Taylor So writes about.
That's not all she writes about.
That's not funny.
Being a dude is so hard, really.
You're just scrolling, really just you're just scrolling on your for you page and then you see random white lady singing along to a Taylor Swift song.
Instantly get mad, start talking about how, start trying to figure out numerous different ways of how you can say fuck you to this person.
Very strange, he's being facetious.
Yeah, strange existence.
I think they said that i'm i'm still, that i'm disrespecting Ludwig, that i'm still obsessed with my exes because i'm making fun of my exes means that i'm obsessed with them.
Oh, that's awesome when, in reality, I just copy and pasted a tick tock trend that I thought was funny.
Yeah yeah, um march, can you pull up that tick tock please?
My tick tock yeah okay damn, I thought you were gonna get.
You're like, no no, i'm on my tick tock grind.
I even did a dance today.
I've been going crazy.
I saw one where you're on a rooftop and you're like, oh yeah, what was?
I'm not angry anymore.
219 000.
Yeah Jason, he's famous.
That's just going crazy.
That one yeah, and I bet you think about me.
Wait, what the is that?
Hasan can't fight us all.
What the hell bro, Ludwig is old now he can't.
No, so that the tick.
So this is the funny thing.
The tick tock fans were fine because they know it's a trend.
Yeah, but my social media person put it on instagram, those people are old, they're pissed and they are mad and I am disrespectful and i'm just like I bet you're thinking about me.
Yeah, you got them.
They were okay.
Taylor Swift, how do we get her to speak out against?
Leave it alone.
She's got an album coming out.
Okay, she has an album coming out, all right, wasn't Superman enough for you?
No, but she was like tight with the Hadids and I remember like she went to Rami Yousuf show right after uh, like when the you know, when all the stuff was like really heated.
And then I remember, because Girly POP Nation was like damn Taylor, like I think she might stand with Palestine and um, in my heart, in my head, canon I i'm, i'm still relitigating that moment.
You don't have to respond, this is parasocial, but I do wonder, and this is, and I don't, I don't try to give the parasocial and you guys okay, if you Look what she did, because what happens is they'll be like cutie.
You're always parasocial with Taylor Swift.
No, I'm not look up the definition of parasocial.
I'm just a fan, but this is gonna be a parasocial And that's why I'm so multifaceted and I don't get enough credit for that I don't give enough credit for being multifaceted of a human, okay?
More like a swift army knife.
Thank you.
I'll take it It's the first time you've ever said something quick in your life.
Anyway, so what I was saying is um I wonder if part of her is traumatized because when she spoke out like against Trump, it was bad.
So I wonder if she like because that was like the well, she did the one thing against the lady in Tennessee that was like not protecting women who were getting like domestically abused and stalkers and stuff like that.
But she did speak out somewhat very, no, not even somewhat.
I think she spoke out very vocally politically.
And it in favor of her boyfriend's podcast.
No, no, before this, before this, like against Trump and against the senator in Tennessee and stuff like that.
And I wonder if, I mean, she did say she voted for Camilla and that wasn't even Camilla.
I always do that.
Kamala.
Kamala.
Sorry, I'm dyslexic.
That's not, that one's a hard name for me.
Yeah.
Kristen, Kristen, Kirsten, that's all the same word.
Ah, true.
Anyway.
And so my parasocial take is: I wonder if she's like afraid.
Yeah, I could see that.
I don't know.
You get that.
But I'm making excuses for celebrities.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But that is my parasocial take.
Or, well, I don't think this would be the case anymore.
Sorry.
I got another theory.
We set up Cutie Cinderella's Swift adjacent sourdough blog.
Every day you make a different type of sourdough bread that is related to a Taylor Swift album.
Okay.
I don't think she's that self-indulgent.
But she does fuck with sourdough.
She does.
She loves sourdough.
If you have a really good starter or whatever it's called, what's it called?
It is literally a starter.
You got it?
You should name it something phenomenally Taylor Swift related.
And then, and then after a couple weeks.
Hasn't said out loud that she thinks is like beautiful, like freaking violet sunshine or some shit.
So after a couple weeks.
She's always has these terms that she loves.
After a couple weeks of doing like these kinds of things, you've cultivated a fandom.
Taylor Swift is probably watching.
Then you do like a free Gaza sourdough bread recipe.
And then Taylor Swift reads that.
Boom.
Laser to the head.
She comes out.
She's like, we have to free Palestine.
I don't think I will convince Taylor Swift, but I appreciate it.
I just, I didn't realize it was a one-sided relationship that you had with Taylor Swift.
I know it seems like it's, it seems like I've got her sell.
It does.
It really does feel like she did go on someone else's podcast before mine, which is crazy because I've known of her longer.
Oh, I go places.
Oh, because the song I go places.
Free Gaza Sourdough Trend00:08:43
Yeah.
That's good.
He had to look it up on it.
Yeah, I don't want to do it.
Okay, I'm doing my best.
I just don't.
Anyway, so she has a new album.
Oh, that's crazy.
I guess we're going to have to talk about it behind the payline.
Behind the paywall.
Wow.
We should just title this the Taylor Swift episode.
We shouldn't.
We shouldn't title it.
We shouldn't.
I talked about 9-11.
Oh, so you don't want the Swifties to see you?
It turned out I knew nothing, even though I knew so many episodes.
I didn't know anything.
You were explaining.
I forgot the guy's name.
That's like really evil.
All right, y'all.
Thank you for watching.
We'll see you behind the painted wall.
Going to be reviewing some of Hassan's GQ photos that didn't make it into the magazine.
Yeah, naked cock.
Yeah, that's right.
Go to patreon.com/slash fear and we'll see you next time.
Peace.
Put Bozo in the spotlight.
You're right.
Oh, look at me go.
Yeah, too.
That's my teaching for you, motherfucker.
It's all Marshall.
Just play LinkedIn.
Play the PP title.
Just play the PP title.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you pulled it, but remember, March pulled it in the past.
Yeah, Marsh has done this before.
I'm going to kill him.
Okay.
I love the ideas.
You're an idea, man.
Thank you.
I'll just put that on the bushel basket.
I got a lot of people.
We got dance all Taylor Swift.
We got a lot of stuff.
And we got K-pop, Taylor Swift.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, no, I'll write these down.
But like, think about how sick that would be.
Taylor Swift K-pop.
She kind of just like, she's kind of just her own thing.
I'm just saying.
Okay.
She did K-pop.
I just, I, my only complaint, like I was saying, is I just really wish the title was Showgirl.
Not Life of a Showgirl, just Showgirl.
Why do you hate the full sentence?
Because Showgirl was the name of my horse.
Really?
Yeah.
Who passed away?
R.I.P. Showgirl.
Billy?
Did you cry?
Mine was called Sunnyboy.
My dad changed her name to Sally Jen, but she was Showgirl when we bought her.
Okay.
Well, because, I mean, we have, you know, debut album, which is just Taylor Swift.
You know, and then we go into Freaky Fearless.
Red.
Taylor Swift's album is called Taylor Swift, but real fans call it debut.
Yeah.
That's what I call it.
Debut.
Debut, yeah.
Because I'm a real head.
I just, I'm excited for this album because we think people think that it's the lost album.
What does that mean?
How much do you want to get into it?
All the way.
Give me a second.
All deep.
Yeah.
Oh, all right.
Here we go.
I'm going to need you to pull up.
Maybe, honestly, Marsh, you might want to switch me seats.
I'm going to have to pull up a lot of stuff.
You're going to be off the camera.
What?
Turn on that camera.
You actually want to do that?
Come take a seat.
I'm going to show you Miranda.
Okay.
Come take a seat.
Okay, we can do this.
I will say, though, just so you know.
No, no, no, no.
But this monitor is what shows this.
You want to show us?
I'm going to get dragged to that one.
Maurio Miranda, come take a seat.
Bro, she's a Twitch streamer.
She knows how to do this.
Come take a seat, Mauricio Miranda.
He just look how uncomfortable he got.
He knows he's working.
Put you in your leather pants.
Look at that.
Okay.
I'm fine with this.
I'm the producer now.
I'm not hearing myself in the E.
We can put her in that fucking chair, Marsh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Look how quick she's pulling that shit up.
Okay.
It's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool.
We could just downside.
Pull it up, guys.
You got to switch the cameras.
Fire Austin Fire March.
Just saying Cutie is the producer.
Let's test her.
Kitty, pull Lemon Party over here.
Oh!
Oh, she's done.
Wow.
No hesitation.
My Google account.
Oh, God.
Oh, my search history is so cooked.
No one gives a shit about your search history.
Oh, she's actually four.
She just pulled up King Corn.
Oh, she's kicking your ass all over.
Dude, you suck.
She's never pulled up.
I said it's a virus.
Oh!
You've literally never gotten us a virus.
She's activated, bro.
I am entertained right now.
She's pulling up Malcolm.
She's pulled up, crazy already.
Wait, why did it automatically turn on your bank account?
Why is it turning out?
Wait, why is your bank account going down?
Oh, y'all pulled up Taylor Swift with no intermission at all.
All right.
Lemon party to Taylor Swift.
Welcome to my short form class.
Are you guys ready?
You're taking notes.
Yes.
Okay.
We've got Taylor Swift.
If you don't remember, okay, let me bring you up to speed a little bit.
Okay, wait.
What?
Hit control four on the desktop.
This guy just like OBS.
Hit control four.
Control four.
Don't tell the women what you're doing.
Don't tell the woman what you do.
I don't want to do that yet, Marsh.
Okay, well, then go back then.
Wait, so they didn't get to see the porn.
Well, they didn't get not they did not get to see the porn.
No, sorry, guys.
Look what you made me do.
Look what you made us do.
We were getting banned off, Patreon.
Short form.
Guys, remember, 2009 BMAs.
Yeah, I'm going to let you finish.
Right?
Yes.
Okay.
Taylor Swift wins an award of the United.
Kanye West goes up.
He says, I'm going to let you finish.
Beyonce had the best song of all time.
And then Taylor Swift is really sad because she's just a baby girl at this time.
Not a small girl, a baby girl.
She almost did it.
She did do it.
No, no, no, she's doing baby girl.
And she felt it in her heart.
I've never said girl like that.
Oh, you just said it again.
I've never seen Cutie and that lady in the same place ever.
They do look alike.
No, we're just white.
Okay.
Okay.
Anyway, I needed to see.
Taylor Swift takes that because everyone's booing Kanye.
Right?
Taylor Swift takes that as everyone booing her.
And she's like, and it's the first time in her life as a people pleaser that she's like realizing that everything's crashing and breaking around her.
She feels like shit, right?
Okay.
So that's where this all starts.
And then Taylor Swift feels awful about Kanye West.
They both like they don't like each other.
They later like make amends, essentially.
Yeah.
He comes up, she comes up with the song Innocent.
Can I do a side note here real quick?
I think it's pretty funny that for the longest time, 4chan was like speculating that Taylor Swift's a white supremacist, and out of both of them, Kanye West turned out to be the white supremacist.
That like if lineup gone to my head, who's the white supremacist out of these two, I'm not completely going to the black guy.
Yeah, you don't, you're not assuming it's going to be the black guy.
That's it was the black guy.
It was the black guy in that situation.
Very unique.
That's fair.
I suppose.
She won that battle.
She did win that battle.
So then, when Speak Now comes out, which was their third album, so after famous.
Or no, sorry, but we'll get the after fearless, but we'll get to famous.
So when Speak Now comes out, she has a song called Innocent, where she is a, it's essentially about Kanye.
Have you guys ever heard it?
No.
Okay.
Let me find it.
What is she barking at?
I don't know.
I gotta look.
That was crazy.
Are we getting home invaded?
No.
She like you can go with that.
I feel I'm like, we're safe.
Can you pull that up for us?
Okay, what?
Can you pull it up?
Can you pull it up?
Pull up lemon party.
Okay, okay.
I'll pull up lemon party next time.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I won't make you listen to the whole song.
No, I don't want to listen.
Oh, you do?
You want to listen all the time?
Yeah, let's get ZMCA'd.
Oh, my God.
We can't.
Okay, well, this is a song essentially she wrote in response to like they had like made up, he had like apologized, whatever.