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May 12, 2025 - Fear&
01:03:49
We Finally Replaced Him.. | Fear&

Hassan Piker's replacement by Austin "Pokey" Pierce sparks debates on race, including a fictional American Pope and TikTok trends linking gingers to Haitian ancestry. Will Neff details how tariffs forced his Labubu plush business to triple prices or risk smuggling, while Queen recounts a traumatic high school story where she anonymously labeled a friend a "slut" over dress codes, only for that friend to get pregnant by the grooming manager Ben. The episode concludes with plans for a roleplay Patreon goal and reflections on internalized misogyny, suggesting online communities often mirror toxic real-world dynamics despite claims of apolitical discourse. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Skin Color Labels 00:07:15
Thanks, Austin.
I am so sorry.
Oh my god, am I gonna make you cry?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear and Podcast where we finally dumped the trash.
That's right.
Hassan Piker's fucking out of here.
He's in Europe and we replaced him.
Yeah, I drew him.
I'm Hassan today.
Yeah, with a much better, a much better looking two.
Wait, should I pretend to be him?
No.
No, we got you for a reason, Pokey.
The reason is, is you're not Hassan Piker.
We're done with politics.
We're apolitical.
If you're pretending to be Hassan, you'd be on your phone right now.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We're back with another episode.
We're missing Will Neff right now, but he will be back.
He sucked himself to death in traffic, but was resuscitated and he's alive and on his way.
He is here.
He, yes, coming.
We're falling apart.
Yeah.
Already.
We're falling apart.
On the morning of the Pope, a newly elected Pope.
Really?
Yes.
Yes.
We have a new Pope.
His name is Pope.
He's American.
He's an American Pope.
Yep.
We elected American.
That's right.
And shocker.
Hot off the press.
Robert Francis.
The Pope from the U.S. Robert, sorry, Robert Francis Provost.
Path to becoming Pope Leo XIV.
That's right.
And he is keeping with a long-standing Catholic tradition of being homophobic.
Really?
Which may shock you all.
Why do they all look the same?
I'm so sorry.
They do.
It's impressive.
They look like the same prototype of Pope.
Yeah.
We get one with like some curls or like...
Well, there's almost a black one.
That's right.
Yeah.
Like, he's almost a pope or he's like the conclave has to vote or whatever.
Yeah, that's right.
Marsh is laughing?
I don't know.
No, there was almost a black pope.
What's the conclave?
I almost said African-American Pope, but that's like, it doesn't make any sense.
You know, Americans do that a lot?
What?
They'll say African-American instead of black because they're afraid.
Yeah, but they think everyone's American, but it's like...
Oh, I thought they were afraid of being PC.
No, I assumed they were trying to be like...
Yeah, no, you didn't even think.
No, they're trying to be PC, but they're being even more offensive.
I think, speaking of race as a white woman, speak on it, Queen.
I was talking to my Twitch chat the other night, and I was like, what race are you?
I was like, say your race.
Yeah, you were doing a poll.
And I was like, a census in my chat, as you should.
Because I have worn this shirt two days in a row.
Oh.
Because I found out 7% of my Instagram followers are from Brazil.
So shout out Brazil.
Amazing.
And so I've got them a shirt.
That's amazing.
I see you.
I see you guys.
Because apparently Brazil loves Mario Goetzi.
Okay.
They're like obsessed with it.
So you got 7% of the fault from that one reel.
I think so.
Amazing.
I mean, I'm not that big of a fan.
It's amazing.
No, I think that's it.
So shout out Brazil.
But then I was like, what are you guys?
Wait, sorry.
I had to go because when she was talking about her shirt and Brazil, cutie looks so good today.
Oh my gosh.
She looks extra fine.
She looks like a different kind of fine than she usually does.
It's giving bad girl.
Yes, it's giving baddie.
Bad girl is a little awesome.
It's giving baddie.
She has like her midrift showing.
She's got these low-rise baggy jeans.
I was like, oh my God, I've never seen this, like this skin of cutie Cinderella before.
Is it new?
I'd like to finish it.
Not gonna lie.
It's giving like, he's just a, well, I'm just a girl.
Could it be anymore?
Obvious.
Abraham Levine before she died.
She's dead?
Yeah.
Yeah, because it's a new clone that replaced her.
They replaced her with Melissa.
Oh, my God.
I am so out of the loop.
You didn't know that?
No, I'm old.
I just didn't know.
That's a millennial thing to know.
Oh, okay.
But it's okay.
Interesting.
So you don't like me calling you a bad girl, just for the record.
I don't care.
I don't have a response.
No fascism pins.
Well, you like fascism.
Put it over yours.
You're like, I was going to say, shouldn't you have white?
I want to.
No politics today.
Oh, I guess lucky people.
So, okay, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being offensive.
Well, so I asked my chat what their color of their skin was.
Right.
And, you know, people were like, brown, black, white.
I don't understand.
And this isn't helpful because we know I'm an Asian here.
I don't understand why Asians are saying, to this day, I know this is like people say this.
I don't understand why Asians say yellow.
They're just simply not.
Am I crazy?
Am I maybe?
Yeah.
And again, a lot of Middle Eastern people are more almost skinny.
I've never seen a yellow person beside someone with a jaundice.
I don't understand how this, I don't know how this happened.
Did you talk about this on stream?
Yeah.
I was like, did all of you gaslight yourself?
Okay, so we've already, this is cancel proof.
I could get canceled for questioning the color of their skin of, but I could.
I would agree with you that there's a larger variety in skin tone when it comes to Asian people than just yellow duh.
Right.
Yeah.
I agree.
And I think that putting them in one box is not a cool thing.
Maybe it's that they don't lean as red pink as Caucasian people.
Right.
And they just don't want to be white.
As white.
That is something I learned.
They were like, well, no.
They were like, well, I'm not white.
I don't want to be.
I don't want to say I'm white.
And I was like, okay.
Were you offended by that?
Now I'm offended.
Dude, even this is a little bit more than that.
But I'd also be confused as to what I should list because.
Oh, yeah.
What are you?
I mean, like, technically, I'm African, but I am white and white passing definitely.
I don't know what the fuck, but I'm also kind of Middle Eastern.
You're in my Twitch chat.
I say, what color is your skin?
What do you say?
I don't answer.
I don't answer because I don't want to offend anyone.
Oh, my God.
Because how I might label myself is maybe not how others might label me.
And I just don't.
Why don't you come out with it right now in an exclusive?
What color do you want to be?
What color do you want to be?
This is a first-time fear and exclusive.
See, if Assam was here, we wouldn't be able to cover this because he'd stop the conversation because it's too problematic.
Or apolitical podcast.
I would like to label myself as a nice pearlescent tone, kind of like Edward when he steps into the light and twilight.
You're not that color.
Wait, no, no, no.
You said I choose.
Yes, I love that.
That is what I choose.
I love that.
That is the most iconic thing.
How would you describe it?
Pearlescent.
That's like a.
That's like a.
This is bad for my census because now I have one pearlescent.
Yes.
Okay.
She invented.
This is iconic.
Okay.
Like, this is a new one.
The mother of pearlescent.
This is a mother of pearlescent colors.
Like, you just invented a new skin color.
All right.
I love that.
And we accept applicants.
Pearlescent Identity Choice 00:15:10
So we're open.
Well, want to join, honey?
Well, I'm white.
You're ever tired of being white.
Girl, I'm white as hell.
Unfortunately.
I feel like I could maybe drift into that category just a little bit.
Yeah, we have some overlap, too.
I mean, yeah, we do.
That's being like sort of like a white.
We're both Middle Eastern.
Right.
Right.
You say he wants to not be white, but also in a lot of ways, he's not white.
No.
He's white.
I mean, I am pretty white, but if you look.
He's wearing Ed Hardy.
He white.
I didn't.
Christian got this.
I don't know what the hell.
I found it in my closet.
All right.
It's Ed Hardy.
It's good.
It's bad.
I'm dating a gay person.
What can I say?
Is it good?
I got it at Urban Outfitters.
You're gay.
Yeah, I know.
Speaking of gay, cutie, your small business is collapsing.
Oh, my God.
I have loved following the tea on that because you're giving us a freaking inside scoop that we need in this day and age.
Yeah, this is a business podcast.
It's fucked up.
Welcome.
Will just came in, said how does it feel to be a failure, bitch?
I ate one of my tummy hunters.
I just ate one of those two.
We switched up the seating arrangement this year.
I didn't want her to be alone.
I felt bad.
So, Will, welcome to the podcast.
Good to be here.
He got in a self-suck incident.
They resuscitated him on the freeway.
Now he's here.
Awesome.
Good to be here.
We were just talking about QD's failing business.
Yeah.
Yes.
Thanks.
Well, so never, so number one, I've been just like, kind of out of sight, out of mind.
I know we had the laboo boo problem, okay?
And I just gave up.
I said, no more labooboos.
It's been a personal problem for me because Farley ate my laboo boo.
Really?
He doesn't need anything, but for some reason, he really wanted the laboo.
He knew it was a value.
I need some help here.
I don't know what the fuck a laboo boo is.
Okay.
That's what I'm here for.
Hassan could never.
Yeah, he could never.
Yeah, he called labooboos.
Stop.
Laboo boos are these cute little keychain plushies, but I need to give you all the tea.
Okay.
They initially started garnering popularity because Lisa from Blackpink started rocking them.
I mean, amongst other items from Pop Mart.
Pop Mart is a big brand that releases all these cute collectible things, plushies, figurines.
And the whole, like, I guess what makes them so exclusive and special is they come in a blind box, meaning you don't know what color or type of stuff is.
We sell blind boxes at Deco Deco, by the way.
And so much of them now.
Well, we sell them.
And there's different sets of colors that people can get.
And then there's a special set, like a secret set.
Okay, one of the 70 boxes.
Yes, you might have like a 10, 20% chance of getting a blue one, pink, red, whatever.
And then there will be like a multicolor one that's like a 0.1% chance that you get it.
So every time someone opens a pack, it's like gambling.
So it's like everything comes back for kids.
For girly pops.
For girly pops, not kids.
Even for the girls, I love them.
And I love them.
You're a girly pop.
I will say, we do need to get young women into gambling.
I've always thought that.
I've actually been saying that.
Yeah, I think it's they're underrepresented.
And before someone calls Poke a hypocrite for making a joke.
I know, I know.
But you know what?
I hope they do.
It's time to move past this.
So you're collapsing small business.
Yeah, my collapsing small business.
Wait, can I tell what happened with the laboobus?
Yeah, so, well, first of all, I get these cute little laboo boo charms.
I'm like, it's so excited.
I'm like, oh my God, they're so cute.
It's going to change my business.
There's going to be lines out the door.
I'm so excited.
I'd be and now people do.
Well, I'll get there actually.
So we get the labooboos and they're selling like hotcakes.
And the business is saved.
So I go, I email my supplier and I'm like, hey, I need more of these.
And they said, ooh, yeah.
So price is tripled.
And I was like, that's crazy because I sell them for a dollar.
And you sell laboobus for a dollar.
Mini ones charms that go on your, but they're like fuzzy.
They're so cute.
They sound cute.
They're cute.
They're way cute.
And I'm like, oh, well, I can't sell.
They're an inch big.
I can't sell these for $5.
Like, what do you mean?
Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
And then they're, and then, so I was like, well, maybe I'll buy a few, you know, in case, because I love them.
And then, and then they're like, actually, we're not shipping to America.
Oh, no.
And then I said, yeah.
And then they're just gone.
I can't get my labooboos.
They're gone.
Wait, that's so sad because that really was something that set your business apart.
I know, I had the baby laboo boos.
No one else has them.
So what else?
Do you have those knockoff labooboos?
Everybody makes fun of you.
Yeah, foo-fus.
You know, people count the amount of tea.
Yeah.
It needs to have a certain amount of people.
Time a supplier as like a bonus.
I don't know why they sent us knockoff sunny angels, which are the naked babies.
Girly pops also love them.
They're naked babies you stick on your phone.
And I was like, whatever, we'll put them out.
Well, we'll put them out.
We put them for usually, sunny angels are like 20 bucks.
We put them out four bucks.
I'm like, whatever.
We have them.
I don't want to just throw them away.
That's wasteful.
No, no, no.
A seven-year-old clocked us.
She walks in with her nanny.
Her nanny's like, cute, those are sunny angels.
She goes, those are knockoffs.
I was like, so embarrassed.
I was like, oh my God, take them off the floor.
Throw them away.
I will melt them.
I didn't even know they were seven.
I don't even think I knew what the word knockoff was at seven.
You know, what else is happening to your small business?
Well, your, your, your, your entire foundation has fallen.
Dude, it's so bad.
It's crazy.
It is underneath.
It's so bad.
Yeah.
So we open online, which I'm so excited for.
So deco deco.shop, shameless plug.
Right.
Um, we open online.
Go buy her stuff.
Well, you can afford it.
40 don't.
Um, because wait, so were you selling phone cases online?
Yeah, so you make a kit.
It's DIY kits.
So you pick out what you want.
Yeah.
So it's really cool.
So cool.
I did a stream where I was packaging all the orders.
And then midstream, I'm realizing I'm like, damn, no, you guys are, they're going crazy.
They're buying all this stuff.
And then I was like, wait, stop because I'm going to run out of inventory for the store.
So then I'm like, I go home and I'm like panicking, emailing all my suppliers.
I'm like, I'm going to need this, this, this.
This is the best day ever.
Business is back, baby.
And then my order of what is it?
I tweeted it $1,000, what was, which is a lot of charge.
$1,000.
$1,400 after tariffs went to $3,600.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is just not sustainable.
No.
For those that import their products, which, so I do have, I thought.
I would have loved.
Okay.
Everyone's like, buy American.
Yeah.
That's what I was going to say.
They don't make it.
They do not make plushies.
Well, build a factory, cutie.
I can't.
And then some people.
You can't make plushes cute enough in our country.
What's crazy is then some people are like, cutie, here's this American website.
Here's this American website.
I'm like, bitch, they got that from the same supplier I got that for, and they're selling it at the same price I sell that for.
So if I buy it from them, then I still have to double my fucking prices in order for the business to like pay employees and shit.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
The only solution is to cut their wages.
That's the only solution.
I'm looking into children.
You gotta protect your bottom line, cutie.
I'm looking into children.
We gotta chop down some trees to make a bad.
We gotta do that.
You gotta buy American.
You need to bring back Japanese manufacturing back to its rightful place, America.
Well, cutie, I have been experiencing something similar because, well, my hot sauce brand is made in Japan.
No, it's proudly made in the United States.
And the demand has been so extreme.
And we've been making so much money that we've been, I mean, it's really been taking up some of my time.
Oh, it's the good old plushie and hot sauce pipeline.
Wait, but so what's the problem?
I mean, it's stressful.
It's just stress.
I just tried to relate.
I've said the prices three months in this one month.
I could have been in the green because the online store opened up.
I'm so excited.
You gotta be like, Will, cutie.
Will built a factory because he said he gives you the U.S. proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
That's right.
And then people are like, people are like, oh my God, these people, they're like, cutie, idiot, just ship it to a friend in Canada and then ship it to America.
No, it's not illegal.
It's not illegal.
I can't do that.
They're like, Cutie, just drive to Mexico and get your stuff.
I can't.
I love it.
Cutie, that would be the best YouTube video ever worth it.
I traffic laboo boos and you do it.
You do it all like fucking blow where you fly in on a turbojet and then have a truck and fucking sweat it.
It's all packed in coffee grounds.
I love that.
That's amazing.
What is insane is it is cheaper and better for my business to smuggle to buy my assistant a first-class ticket to Japan with three empty suitcases and to come back.
That is literally like a fifth of the price.
You your assistant.
I'll smuggle the boo-boos.
Don't say that.
That video tip to tip would get crushed by cutie and will smuggle the boo-boos.
Pokey, will you join in on us?
Happily.
I feel like I just have a puffer coat that's I was imagining cutie in like one of those detective coats opening up.
She's not flashing you.
It's just all laboo boos.
It's so immigration officer being like, what do you have there?
I'm like, it's 1400 labooboos.
Like, is that what these immigration border busting shows are going to become?
I mean, that would be funny.
Can I ask a stupid question?
Yeah, no, nothing you ask is stupid, Cutie.
Yeah, there's no way you could be as stupid.
I just called Poke Cutie.
You just assumed a stupid question.
I'm like a princess that I call on this podcast.
I love that.
Thank you for saving me, Will.
I appreciate it.
Guys, can I just advise something before you say what you say?
I've never been on this side of the table.
Something about being on the short side of the table just makes me want to chirp at you.
Yes.
Now I understand.
Yellow, that's why we're always yelling.
I'm just glassing.
I'm not sure if you're sad on the table.
By the way, can I, before you ask me, before you ask your question, it's not stupid.
And by the way, you're Pokemon.
And I was looking through you.
You were looking through me?
No, I was looking.
My eyes caught your hand.
He was thinking about you, so he said you're not.
Everybody knows how much I love women and supported.
I've got a great track record.
Your microphone is unbelievably like, it's just perfect.
It's like brand new out the box.
Our microphones are fucked up.
Like that one's fucked up.
What are you talking about?
These are fucking.
I know, no.
This is the one you use, though, all the time.
That's because I like mine looks like all ours look like they've been sucked.
You can trade with me.
No, no, no.
I like it.
It's perfect.
I don't want him using mine.
No.
Pokey.
Ah, yes, my question.
What's your question?
So I am not the most politically aware.
Also, I've been on a reading deprivation week.
Have you guys heard of that?
What's that?
So I'm doing this 12-week creativity course, and one of the weeks is reading deprivation.
Like you avoid reading stuff.
I'm not talking books.
I'm talking about books, comments, TikToks, everything.
It's amazing.
I'm trying to love that.
Anyways, because of that, I have not, I'm not really super aware of the news.
I know Trump brought in tariffs, but I thought he stopped the tariffs to some of the countries.
Oh, but he kept them.
Yes, to Germany.
Specifically, Asia.
China?
Well, parts of Asia, like China.
Yeah.
So when I was packing my orders, I pulled out one of the phone cases that had a made-in-China sticker.
I was like, this is rare.
This is rare.
You got a rare one.
So he kept it just for Asian contributions.
Well, no.
He stopped.
I'm sure.
All I know is that it's definitely in the places that I'm ordering from.
And so people are like, oh, Taiwan doesn't have the tariffs.
And so then I try to find a Taiwan only.
So then you can.
Yeah.
Taiwanese.
Taiwanese.
Laboo Boos.
But so then I will.
It's so crazy.
So then I'll find.
So sometimes you find suppliers on these random websites or like even like AliExpress.
You can find a supplier, email them, but then you ask them their country of origin, China.
They just marked it up and now they're selling it from Taiwan.
And I'm like.
Yeah, because now there's a huge demand.
But if they've received that supply, do you still have to pay it?
Well, they already are they shipping.
No, so I don't have to pay the tariff, but they've already upped their prices because I'm sitting there and I'm like, why is it?
Which is like, guys, obviously, it's like my stuff is like, you know, a charm, a dollar a charm.
Yeah.
Like, it just gets crazy, though.
Yeah.
Like, so I usually buy my charms for like Trump is killing your business.
50 cents.
And then you get, and then we sell them for a dollar.
He's killing her business, which is weird because she voted for him.
You know what I mean?
I really thought he would be a good idea.
So, do you agree voting for Trump, Cutie Cinderella?
I'm going to do it next election.
Yeah.
For sure.
She just wants change.
She wants an outside.
I'm doing the Trump Yi 2028.
Is that?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
I didn't have it.
He dropped some new music recently.
Oh, God.
Please, not the cousin stuff.
No, wait.
No, you didn't hear that.
That's so much worse.
It's so bad.
I would almost extend your reading deprivation.
Really?
Yeah, never come back.
You may never read again after this.
Yeah.
No, can you give me a summary?
Oh, I'm allowed to talk to friends, but I don't even know if I can mention the summary.
He sings about Hitler.
Yeah.
What?
And he praises him in the song, and that's the chorus.
And he wears a dripped-out swastika.
Yeah, his producer wore a dripped-out, like, bedazzled swastika.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, it was a choice.
For the record, I have a very dry voice.
I'm not voting for Kanye or Trump for president.
I would like me to do that.
Just in case anyone's new.
If you couldn't read my tone, but Hassan sent us a link, which is typically.
Wait, sorry, that's allowed on streaming clubs.
Oh my god, I forgot to order coffee.
I think it's kind of hard to find right now.
The name of the song is HH.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's that awesome.
That guy is really upset.
He brought my coffee spam ring in the doorbell.
He says, come on.
It's kind of like a great tone.
No, no, no, no.
You want me to go out and talk to him?
No, no, no, no.
I'm saying you just spam the doorbell.
One thing I can't help is any impatience.
Hassan sent us a thing.
Yeah.
And he says about Labo Boo.
I know, because he's obsessed now.
He likes laboo boos now.
Let's go.
He likes.
Listen, I am a big Labuboo fan.
Me too.
Marsh and I wore some at uh Coachello and we got a lot of compliments.
Why can't you?
Of course.
They're so cute.
They've been deleted.
Oh, wait.
China's Wang Ning adds 1.6 billion to wealth as Americans cue for toys.
How is he making so much money?
I'm not making shit.
Because he owns the company.
What does Hassan want us to talk about?
Just a coffee thing.
Chairman and CEO of Chinese toy maker Potmark International Group became $1.6 billion richer in a single day.
Have you guys been to the Pot Mart in Century City?
Duh.
Everything sells out immediately, though.
Dude, it's so unfortunate.
Like, if you want a real Laboo Boo, you pull up there.
There's already eight men immediately once the drop lands and they just pick up every sweep.
It's so funny.
Worse than Pokemon cards are.
I went in there and one of the people that worked there was a fan and they were like, oh my God, I can't believe you're here.
I didn't know you liked Pot Martin.
Billion Dollar Toy Maker 00:11:45
I was like, I do.
And I was like, I'm actually looking for Labuboo.
And they're like, good luck.
And I was like, really, like, even if I'm talking to you, they're like, dude, it's like a killing floor.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It's like, do you know how there are drug dealers and Pokemon card dealers?
I've yet to find a Labo Boo dealer and I would love to.
I think they're that rare.
No legit.
There's no Laboo Boo plug.
I got minis.
I got minis.
You got minis.
I still have a few.
Have you started?
Probably not.
But they're really cute.
I'm also going to start.
Yeah, I'm just going to start selling the LaFoofu.
Have you started upping the price of your products?
No, because it makes me sad.
You need it.
Guys, I think we need to do something about Trump.
Cutie's sad.
I can't handle it at all.
This may be the change we need.
I don't want to add, I don't want to up my prices.
I know.
Why are you laughing?
I don't want cutie nominations.
I'm not a business owner because I look at it and I'm like, damn.
Cutie, Cinderella.
This is expensive.
That's not the same.
Cutie, this is sad.
It's sad.
I don't want to charge you.
You need to nominate me as your company president.
How much would you pull up my website?
Tell me how much you charge for these things.
Okay.
I want to see.
Hire me.
Will and I will be your board of directors.
Okay, board.
Let's see.
And we'll put pressure on you.
Why not me?
Yeah.
Poke too.
I'm so.
You know what?
Exactly.
I thought you liked women.
I love women's social media.
This is getting suspicious.
My love for women just blinded me.
Okay, go to products.
Believe that, Dr. Doctor, give me the news.
I got a bad case loving you.
Will?
Yes.
I'm feeling a little sick, but I don't know where to find a doctor.
Well, Austin, have you ever tried Zock Doc?
No, Will.
Tell me about it.
Well, Zock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
That's incredible.
I also heard you can filter for doctors who take your insurance because nothing sucks more than getting a surprise out of network bill.
That's right.
I recently had a throat issue.
I don't know if you know about this.
From Suckin' Dick?
No, from undiagnosed acid reflex.
Oh, oh my God.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So I had to use Zock Doc to find a doctor in network that assessed my problem so I could quickly get healthy again.
Well, I'm so happy you're feeling healthy, Will.
And I hope you guys start to feel healthy soon because you need to stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash fear to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash fear.
ZockDoc.com slash fear.
I got a bad case loving you.
Okay, purse.
Cute website, by the way.
10 charms, two glues, 55 bucks.
How do you feel?
10 charms.
It's expensive.
I feel bad.
Imagine I've dropped it to 60 bucks.
I'm going to be honest.
What?
Two glues.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Price of glues.
I'm unfamiliar with glue.
Excuse me.
I've explained Deco Deco a thousand times.
Can you tell me what?
I'm asking what the going rate of a deco glue is.
No, can I give you it?
Can I give you some genuine feedback?
Yes.
I think the phone case photo is gorgeous if you scroll down a little, but scroll up.
I think if you're selling the heart purses and you're including charms and glue colors, I think some of the primary photos should include those charms.
Because right now, I'm not really looking at what I'm getting.
You click on it and then you get to choose your charms.
Do you get a tube of glue or is it like a hamster feeder of glue that you use?
Like you got to show them what you're really.
You shouldn't show the naked one because they're getting charms.
You should show like a deck.
No problem if you show a decked out one and you don't give them that charm because we run out of stock of it.
Well, that's okay.
They can pick and choose the charms.
Okay.
I think you should raise the prices because you can get famous glue.
Wait, I have to explain the glue.
Please explain that.
So it's called Deco Deco glue or cream glue.
Sure.
And it's just silicone, like culk.
Right.
And what's that called Culk?
Okay.
I say Calk.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm just saying.
But we say culk.
So it's silicone.
It's a little motor right there.
Like Elmer's glue and acrylic paint.
Okay.
And houses together in a piping bag.
It's like frosting.
So you're going to give them a piping bag or is the piping bag pre-packaged and you buy the piping bag?
We buy it packaged, yes, but then we have to assemble it.
Okay, so I have a question.
Yes.
I have, you could probably make a really good margin if you are able to buy the glues in masks.
That's what I have to do.
And have a standard.
Why not?
How?
There's got to be some way if it's just caulk.
I know, but it's like, but then we.
Yeah, well, you know, where QD can get some cock.
I've actually used a lot of cocktails.
So the problem is, the problem is, is if we mix it, you have to like bag it right away or it starts drying out.
Right.
So I'm saying, though, that is a good place to make a margin if you can find some kind of like distribute, like centralized hamster feeder that keeps the caulk at the end.
I did in China, but now I don't have any.
You need to move to China.
I think honestly, you could make a lot of your margin back if that's something that's distributed within the city.
It is really fucked up.
We actually did raise our prices because some people were just buying the glue.
So you raised it.
I'm an idea guy.
I'm here giving you.
You want to make my caulk factory?
Listen, if we could do a cutie Cinderella revolutionized cock stream, that's bad.
I think what you need to do, cutie, is you need to offer another product that's American-made that allows you to keep those prices low.
But Austin, the American-made products are nice.
So you're saying that, like, she hasn't already tried.
Hold on, wait.
What am I going to show?
Hot dogs.
Hot dogs.
Right?
Nobody likes it.
Nobody.
Who doesn't like a hot dog?
Like Costco.
Look at Costco, right?
That?
Okay.
I didn't like where he was going at first, but now it's sad.
Think about it this way, right?
Nobody goes to Costco for a hot dog.
You think that's ridiculous before they came up with it.
Respectfully, are hot dogs even made in America?
Yes.
Aren't the biggest beef farms like not in America?
No, those are American pigs.
A beef, cow, beef, cows.
Pigs.
Yeah, those are hot dogs.
Some, they do make hot dogs.
Peak hot dogs.
Those are all beef hot dogs.
Wait, oh, Costco?
Okay, they're American cows.
I don't know if they will you Google that, Marsh?
I don't think he's right.
If they're made in America, if the beef is American.
So, by the way, just so you know, the Costco hot dogs are what is called a lost leader.
Do you know what a lost leader is?
No.
Yes.
Okay.
A lost leader is a product that you offer at a loss to your own cost.
But it brings so many people through the door that they purchase other things that make dogs.
So basically, their hot dogs at Costco are like a bait for people to be like, come get your lunch for a dollar.
But then they buy several other things that they really profit.
Costco actually tried to raise the cost of the hot dog because they lose so much on the hot dogs.
But the original founder of Costco said, I would sooner die than raise the price of Costco hot dogs.
See, cutie, you need to sell hot dogs.
Deco, Deco, hot dog, hot dog.
Deco, wait, wait, no, wait.
Actually, he's cooking.
You maybe need charms that are lost leaders, but the people need to buy the body boost.
Exactly.
And the purses.
And I think it's okay for you to be losing money on those because you should be up in the end.
Wow, we just built a profitable business.
Yeah.
And you need to cut the wages by 30%.
Oh, you should add some kind of blind box to your blind box.
If you buy X amount of charms, you get a chance to win on the boo-boo.
So, you know, it's fun.
Also, slot machines.
Okay.
I mean, that's basically what he just said.
So this is fun.
So Thanksgiving, I had a little Ludwig was out of, I was all alone for Thanksgiving, so I invited over any homeless I found.
And FanFan and her mother came.
Oh, and so FanFan and her mother came.
Feet Pics Market.
Well, it's just her feet, essentially.
She gave them away for free.
So I'm talking to FanFan's mom, and I'm like, what do you do for fun?
You know, moms love me because I don't have one.
Oh.
And so.
You know what?
I'm not giving sympathy.
Not because I...
No, no, I care about your mother that passed away, but you laugh about it so much that I feel I'm digging myself a hole.
I care about your mom so much.
Oh my God.
That was so rude.
It came off.
I'm giving sympathy.
No, no, he meant I'm going to laugh along because you're laughing.
Thank you.
You know, because nobody gets nobody.
He just said it in the cruelest way possible.
No, Poke gets it.
Hold on.
Poke gets it.
I'm getting it.
Giving sympathy.
I'm giving laughter.
That's it.
I'm just giving laughter.
Because I sympathize with the fact that she died, but you don't want that right now.
You don't want to, oh, you want to be, ha ha, you want us to be there and just be happy.
Yeah.
Today was the day I needed it.
Oh, you needed it?
Yeah, Mother's Day is coming up.
So thanks, Austin.
I am so sorry.
Oh, my God.
Am I going to make you cry?
No.
She's already set up a lot of people.
She's trying to yeah, my business is going under my mom's dead.
I just found out No, okay, so fanfan's mother comes over I'm talking to her I said what are your favorite hobbies and she was like oh it's silly It's silly and I was like what is it and she pulls up her phone deco deco no she does deco den and I'm like Gaspa Did you guys did you take her to do some deco so no that's so cute.
Well, I offered and she was like I don't like it anymore.
And I was like okay, that's weird.
She doesn't know about the Labuboo charms.
She well, she doesn't.
I don't think she cares about Labubo.
But she gave me, she gave.
I haven't known what to do with these things.
She gave me these little.
She was like oh, I have these cool things.
And I was like okay, so she gave them to me.
They're these little suitcases that are just empty.
They're like two inches tall and maybe an inch wide, tiny little barbie suitcases and they're just empty and clear.
And I was like thanks so much.
And I was like I don't know what i'm gonna do with these.
But then I was thinking what if I fill them with charms and do a charm blind box inside the little suitcase?
I love that and sell it for 50.
I have another idea.
What hear me out?
Okay, one of the biggest days for 7-eleven is but.
But but what is the specific, specific stuff and what is the parameters of it?
Seven ounces no, you can bring your own slurpee cup really, anything that holds water you can fill with slurpy, really.
So maybe at bring your own deco day, people bring computer cases, people bring suitcases and they just decoy.
We already have that.
Well wait, hold on.
Well, I thought it was like mini cups.
No, you can bring your own.
Really, you can bring a boot, since when I don't yeah, I didn't know that we have that you can bring.
We just charge a studio fee and then you buy your charms and stuff on top of it.
But great idea, thank you.
Thank you for the idea.
I'm gonna kill myself anyway.
We're gonna go out of business soon, so everybody knows, buy it, while you can support her small business.
It's just so funny because i'm talking about the tariffs and then some people be like oh billionaire, whining about the tariffs, and i'm like number one, not a billionaire, number two, I still own a small business.
That is rant.
Like I have beautiful, cute employees that just like.
The photos are really pretty.
Thank you, shout out Ashley, she shot the photos.
She just brought her with charms, because the charms are incredible.
Well, there's what blind box?
Yeah, those copy bar 20.
I thought we sold them for 25.
Gotta raise the price.
Wait, glue colors.
I thought they were seven dollars.
Antibiotics and Concussions 00:07:23
What happened?
I gotta update that.
You're lowering your prices.
I didn't mean to do that.
Okay, cutie Cinderella's.
Okay, we can't show our website anywhere else.
We're gonna get her panic attacks.
Look away, look away, how many employees do you have?
Three, but we've got to up it because it's summer.
We're gonna up our things.
You want to make the calls?
You can't.
You're gonna call them and cut their wages.
Well, somebody's gotta do it.
Why do you look so ready to white man?
No, i'm Lebanese.
Oh yeah, you love negotiating.
Marsh, speaking of white man, did you guys see on the internet?
Uh Marsh, please pull up.
Gingers are now black.
Uh, there's a giant trend on the internet via tick tock that now uh, Gingers are black.
Like uh, it's a tick tock video.
We're back to race.
Yeah, we started this podcast with race.
We were debating whether like um well, I can't even repeat it, I it's.
I think it's the first one.
Why Gingers are black?
A lot of y'all Irish people were right beside black people on the plantation.
Okay, that's why.
But all of y'all are descendants of a Haitian deity named Brigette Semedi.
That's why all Gingers are black.
There are a series of videos, but as you can see, the gingers are thrilled.
I mean, I'm excited to be invited to the future.
Hello.
Will.
Yeah.
I don't erase my blackness, Austin show.
It's not your blackness, it's your ginger.
Well, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
Did you not just get it?
I didn't even know you were technically a ginger.
What?
Girl.
I don't know if I can.
When I grow my facial hair, this... I am experiencing brunette.
I'm just saying.
You're brunette passes.
I'm going to sink from the yard and pull up you.
And it's just like different hair.
I'll be honest.
There's different levels of gingerness.
You saying your gingerness is true.
Just like me saying I'm Lebanese is true.
That's okay.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, that is.
This is...
He's a ginger for sure.
He's black.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
I've been erased twice.
You don't get a B. You don't get a B. Wow.
Well.
Wow.
Pokey, what's going on in your life right now?
Oh, my God.
Don't talk about me.
I'm just here as an accessory.
You were in SLA.
You had a live show.
I didn't know what was happening because you were talking in France.
I'm just going to complain.
Oh, you're not.
No, not because France.
France was great.
Paris was great.
The live show was incredible.
They did it at this huge, really famous, well-known theater called the Olympia.
And it's a bunch of like French creators.
They sold it out in five minutes.
Oh, good.
Isn't that crazy?
It is.
Like, the way that the French community shows up for streamers, unlike anything I've ever seen.
Safe, maybe the Spanish community, because they go hard too.
Yeah, shout out Brazil.
Shout out, Brazil.
Brazil.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna raise the Brazilian community, and then you're gonna raise the French community, and we're gonna fight.
Sure.
Okay, well, get laboo boos.
She went to France and did a show.
You wore t-shirts.
Two days in a row.
Two days in a row, though.
I slept in a shot.
Okay, never mind.
I take it back.
And she can make another Mario butthole, Kate.
Yeah.
Apparently, that's what they like.
They like it.
That's what she said.
It went viral.
I'm not saying that.
That's it.
Yes.
The butthole cake.
I love the goatee.
By the way, I would love that for my birthday this year.
Okay.
You want a goatee?
You don't want a butthole.
Just a bird break.
Oh, yeah, no, not much else.
Paris is great.
Streamed with Jason, but then I went to China and I literally.
Yeah, what's up with that?
Why'd you steal Jason from me?
You can have him, honey.
I instantly didn't care as soon as I said out loud.
No, she was just upset because she called him one time and he didn't pick up and she blamed it on me.
Yeah.
Which I understand.
I took the brunt of a lot of random menu.
The other auntie.
I did see this.
She's like the cool family and then there's me.
I'm like, come over and knit.
Viva la Brazil.
Viva la Brazil.
I saw in your story, you got yourself into a little bit of health trouble.
Yeah, what?
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
I'm over it.
I'm healthy now.
Period.
You don't want to talk about it?
Okay.
You keep it secret.
No, I myself.
I thought the tabloid is just speculative.
My time in Shanghai was a fever drim on the airplane.
No, I had a bacterial throat infection and a viral infection.
A strep at the same time.
Maybe strep, maybe something else.
They test the antibodies, not like specifically what you have.
Oh, wait, I had.
China's ahead.
I had a fever.
They had to IV drip me.
I couldn't eat or swallow anything anymore.
Yeah, I could not swallow.
Oh, my God.
I was like, okay, time to go to the ER.
That happened to me one time when I was in Mexico.
And all I would do, I would just put tequila and bananas in a blender and that would be all my meals.
Would you?
I tried tequila.
Because I was trying to have a good time.
I thought for like medical reasons.
No, I was just trying to give Bruno.
I will say.
That sounds horrible for a sore throat.
I got really sick in 2019, right before COVID.
I think I was patient.
It was probably COVID.
It was COVID that I had.
I was patient zero.
This was in Boston.
I think Marsh was there.
You were there too.
It was when Bernie did the rally in 2019.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you weren't there?
Where the fuck were you?
You didn't work with Azan yet?
God, Jesus.
I felt like you were there.
Yeah, I was in spirit.
You were there in spirit.
Anyway, so I get sick, and the whole time, like, Will, I just drank hot toddies and I felt fucking great.
Yeah.
Alcohol and lemon and honey.
Original painkiller.
No.
Yeah.
You just did.
I mean, you'll feel like shit eventually, but just don't stop drinking.
You're just pushing that off.
Yeah.
Delaying.
Yeah.
Just don't stop drinking and you'll feel great.
That's kind of what Theraflu does to me a little bit.
I don't know what they put in that stuff.
Yeah, that shit goes crazy.
The mix that I use when I'm sick, I'm not a doctor.
But this is not doctor advice, but three ibuprofen and a day in a couple day quill.
600 milliseconds.
Like a 70-day quill.
I get scared when I take more than one.
Oh, because that's what the label says.
Yeah.
No, You can say, no, you could take up to 2,500 milligrams a day.
Wow.
Yep.
Well, honestly, the worst part of being sick is it was my first time getting antibiotics that were so strong that they gave you stomach pills at the same time.
And so I now my stomach's been ruined for the last two weeks.
I'm still recovering.
I don't fucking go.
We got a weird bug, and then I gave it to Austin.
The Mormon plague.
The Mormon plague.
Did you need antibiotics?
I don't know.
I don't need any antibiotics.
No, but it's just like, I just like still sleeping.
I still hear me coughing.
Yeah.
I got a concussion that makes you feel any better.
I got my first bad concussion.
Are you in concussion protocol?
Yeah.
Right now, still?
At least you get a few days off.
How bad?
I got hit so hard, I think I farted a little bit.
I don't think that tells me how bad your concussion was.
I mean, like, do you have memory loss?
Yeah, dude.
I so I rolled and I ate a right hook and I just like felt my whole shit realign.
And I basically am just taking like a week and a half off from any kind of contact.
High School Skirt Rules 00:09:35
Why are you laughing at this?
I'm laughing at the idea that you shit.
You almost shit your pants.
Dude, I used to think that was a joke until I got cracked and I was like, I think, well, I'm not a good tracker.
I laughed at his no, it's funny.
Yeah, you're insensible.
I laughed at your mother.
I'm so sorry.
Can I stop everything and say, I fucking love your glasses.
Thank you so much.
I don't know what's going on there, but I love it.
Do you know how hard it is to find little oval glasses?
Everybody's making these big fuck-ass glasses.
For what?
Yeah.
My eye's not this big.
Stop aside, Elton John.
Give me these little baby ones.
Yes.
I'm trying to look like a devious librarian.
It's also very friendly.
It's very office siren.
Yeah.
Well, that's an office siren.
Oh, yeah.
You don't know?
No.
Honestly, it's kind of an older term for.
Yeah.
It's legit like sexy librarian, sexy secretary.
It's like wearable for like streetwear kind of stuff.
Oh, office siren.
I like that.
Yeah.
Dashed upon the rocks of HR.
Yeah.
Constantly being told to wear a longer skirt.
Exactly that.
But you're not going to work, so it's okay.
Wait, would HR do that?
Yes.
So you made a pass at a woman?
Yeah.
No, no.
Yes, if you were in a bitch Kelly.
Okay.
Tell me.
Fucking bitch Kelly.
Actually, she's very sweet.
But in high school, I worked at the Old Navy.
Yeah.
Okay.
We love the Old Navy.
I'm not even going to call her a bitch.
That was mean.
I take it back.
Kelly, if you see this, I'm really sorry.
I was being for dramatic sad actual name.
But at the time, you know, we didn't get along.
That's not her actual name.
But in case she gets context clues, you don't know me.
You don't watch me.
I'm not perceived.
You're so deep.
Anyway, shout out to you.
Kelly, you're a bitch.
She's a little bit.
So, high school, me and Kelly, we would fight.
I don't remember why.
We just didn't like each other.
I think it's because, oh my God, I actually remember why.
So we both.
I don't know why.
No, I do know why.
Okay.
So we both had the same adult man grooming us, um, who was another manager at Old Navy.
He was he was 25 and we were in high school.
Funny, whimsical story just took a fucking I was in love.
You were groomed, it wasn't her fault, Will.
He was caught and tattooed.
She was in high school, and she was, she was a victim here, Will.
I loved him.
Are you victim blaming?
What do you mean, that guy?
I was thinking you know what that means.
Oh, I think you're just throwing walls at the throwing, throwing walls.
He supports women.
So we both had a crush.
We'll call him Ben.
We both had a crush on Ben, the hot manager, because he admittedly was texting minors and would invite us to come watch his band and all that stuff.
And it was cool.
How old is he?
I think he was like 25.
How old are you guys?
In high school?
Like 16, yeah.
Sorry, go on.
But he was hot.
Okay.
Anyway, so he's like texting both me and Kelly.
And like, we're like, ew, instead of being mad at him, we're mad at each other, of course.
And then Kelly would wear these fuck-ass short-ass shorts to work.
And we had a suggestion box in the break room.
And so I wrote a little note and I said, I think Kelly's a little slut wearing her little shorts.
I like how you put the name in it that a client wouldn't know.
No suggestion box for employees.
Did you use those words exactly?
Yeah.
I said, Kelly's a little slut.
And she's wearing the shortest shorts.
And I don't think those shorts are dress code.
And then sure enough, the next day at work, I'm still pissed.
Sweetie, that wasn't nice of you.
It wasn't nice.
No, no.
We were fighting over a man that was grooming us.
It wasn't nice.
Internalized misogyny really did.
Do it to you, huh?
It was against dress code, though.
And I was worried.
And they were a little short for a Mormon.
They were against dress code for the record.
We did have a policy.
They were a little short.
They were a little short.
Anyway, so I wrote that.
And then, sure enough, Kelly gets called in the office next day and they're like, hey, you have a dress code violation.
And I was like, bitch in your face, Kelly.
But then Kelly reported me for wearing tank tops.
She called me a slut.
Did she say that too?
Yeah.
You wrote slut on the thing.
Yeah, but she didn't know.
HR didn't tell her she was a slut.
HR just told her, like, hey, you have a dress code.
Did HR know that you wrote that?
And they're like, I didn't know because I was like in high school and I was like, there's no way they know this was me.
But then they did find out it was me.
How did they find out?
They just context clues, I think.
They just found out.
They just, me and Kelly wouldn't like it.
Did they pull you into the office?
And let's say you can't call her a slut.
No.
Okay.
Because I didn't say it publicly.
I said it in the note.
And the suggestion.
They have to keep that.
You could say anything in those things.
Yeah, you could say anything.
But then, long story short, I think Kelly got pregnant by not the manager, but she did get pregnant.
Did that make you happy?
No.
It was sad.
Did her pregnancy make you happy?
It was sad, but she has a cute baby now.
So that's Kelly.
Was she married or was it out of the school?
No, it was high school.
It was sad.
Why not?
That baby is like 10.
That baby's watching the podcast.
Shout out.
Baby, if you're watching the podcast, I'm sorry I called your mom a slut.
I didn't mean it.
That baby can almost drive.
Yeah, that baby wants to join FaZe, probably.
That baby collab stream with Jason and Juice.
That baby was Jason.
You know, but it was crazy because she named the baby.
So Ben, Ben's best friend, his name was like, let's call him Kyle.
She ended up naming, and Kyle was hot for the record.
And like, you're 16.
You can think there's a hot 25-year-old.
Obviously, the 25-year-old shouldn't be texting you, but that's a different problem for it every day.
I agree.
But Kyle and Ben were both hot.
And she named her baby.
And his name was not Kyle.
It was a more unique name, but she ended up naming her baby Kyle.
Which is funny.
Because he's so hot.
After the guy.
The hot, the hot friend.
But he was not the father.
He was not the father, but he was hot.
And she did, I think she did sleep with him.
Oh, and she was a bitch.
That sounds messy.
I don't remember.
But if he is so messy, all I know is that I called him.
He was collected with the cards and I felt bad about it.
No.
But he was taught.
I wonder where he is now.
You know, in hindsight.
Because it's not problematic anymore.
In hindsight, I have a feeling it's so common to be a high school girl and to think that it's cool to talk to guys.
Yeah, exactly.
It was a mistake.
And now looking back at my high school, I'm like, no.
That was weird as fuck.
Yeah.
What were they doing?
So problematic.
It's on the guy.
Is this like a thing that happened a lot with girls in high school?
Yeah.
And also, actually, a lot of our high school parties even had 20-odd-year-olds.
Yeah, why are you going to a high school party, weird asses?
Literally.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, it was back in the day.
It was a high school party.
Yeah.
At like college people.
Yes.
Yes.
Or sometimes if the girl's like, oh, I'm going to hang out with a guy in college after he'd be like, ooh, I can't find him.
But maybe not ideally.
We'll never.
So, God, that was crazy.
I never went to high school parties.
I was kind of a loser.
Respect.
I was really like, I could have played a loser in a movie.
Okay, but it's better not to peek in high school.
What's that?
We want to do a stream.
Okay.
It's Patreon goal.
Patreon goal.
We want to do, we want me to throw a real frat party for you.
Wait, that'd be so cool.
Wait, why for Austin?
No, because I never got to live that.
It's almost like how Benny Bronco six streets.
Selena de Prong.
Selena de Prong.
Yes.
If you've already mapped out the details, you're going to love them.
Oh, wait.
Okay, tell me.
I can't.
No, I can't look.
No, no, I know what I want.
I feel like I know what it is.
No.
You're going to find a bunch of West Hollywood gays.
Okay.
And you're going to dress.
Yeah, but you're going to dress them in frat attire.
They're going to be all in the closet.
It'll be kind of, it'll be, it'll be, it'll be kind of like cropped football jerseys.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
It'll be, it'll be kind of like, it'll be kind of like, oh, they're like in the, it'd be like, you know, it's like roleplay.
I'm going to dress like Slutty Kelly.
Hell yeah.
It's going to be awesome.
Do you want to?
I'm going to invite Kelly.
Here's the thing.
If I give you the details, you're pre-agreeing to it.
Okay.
Okay.
25,000 patients.
25,000 Patreon subs.
I'm going to film the frat party.
We're going to bring you in.
Everything's going to be fun.
We're going to live streaming.
Halfway through, we cut the lights.
We start hazing you, the gays and I. Absolutely hazing you.
Okay, I can't get it.
Your new pledge, Austin show.
We're really taking it.
She's not interested.
The toughest guy in the frat walks in.
Captain of the wrestling team.
Gotta be you.
Christian.
Oh.
And he's like, stop bullying him.
I think I see something in that guy.
And we're like, Christian?
This guy's not tough.
He's a bitch.
And he's like, he'll wrestle me to show you.
And you guys wrestle in front of the entire frat to earn our respect.
You know what's so crazy?
Is I feel like he may win.
No, you have to win.
I know that's the thing.
We're going to have to, I'm going to have to talk about it with him.
And then you earn our respect.
You have to get and we let you in as a brother.
Okay, got it.
Perfect.
He beat the toughest guy in the frat.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Awesome.
What's so funny is he won't look like the toughest guy.
He's a wrestler.
He's cutting for weight.
That's right.
Well, he's got.
Can you not poke holes in my narrative?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
He's got such thick legs and such a nickname.
Thick butt.
Who?
Christian.
Basically, he streams now.
We talk about it.
Oh, that makes a gay people.
Yeah, it's like William would be tremendous.
I feel like he'd be good at that for some time.
I think I'd be great.
Yeah, I think he would be.
He'd be a great.
We think that Will, we talked about this.
Will would be like a great coach for gay people, but like he's not.
He's like a coach of football.
I think he just has a good eye.
Yeah, he's got a queer eye.
Frat Wrestling Narratives 00:10:26
Yeah.
So in a street.
He's love that guy.
But he could coach it up.
Like you can see him like a football player.
You're not a football coach that has never played football.
Yeah.
Right?
Be like that.
Will has never played gay, but he could coach it.
That's right.
He's a hell of a coach.
Yeah.
Right.
Bill Belichick type.
Yeah.
Bill Belichick.
I'd like that.
I'd be down for that.
25 evidently at 20,000 patrons.
I'm shaving my head, which I did not agree to.
That's rough.
Marsh just got tweeted by Marsh.
By Marsh.
Marsh just tweeted it, and I was like, oh, we're going to George Michael.
Well, okay, so Poke, I need your opinion.
They want to shave my head.
Poke.
I said Pokey.
No, I didn't call it.
I didn't call it.
Yeah, I said Pokey.
I didn't call her Poke.
Like buzz cut.
Poke.
I'll take whatever.
Buzz cut blonde hair is what Hassan's fantasy is.
Like for himself or for you?
That's what I'm starting to think.
I kind of fuck with that.
It would look good.
I think it's a fun thing to do at least once.
I need a hair transplant first.
I don't think so.
Oh, you just wait.
I'll show you later.
Hacking the father figure.
Yeah.
I think at least I'm going to be able to do that.
This is the main?
I talked about race.
Yeah.
Wait, you guys flipped it up on me.
I know.
No, could you imagine if this was the Patreon?
Yeah, you're like for the main.
Everything.
Everybody keep it holding everything for the main.
Yeah.
This Patreon's about to fuck you.
No, y'all.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, good time.
I have to go to the dentist.
Yeah.
Oh.
You know what the best time for the dentist is?
Tuesday.
2:30.
You forgot.
I was going to say Tuesday.
Tuesday.
What are you getting done at the dentist?
I'm getting my Invisalign.
Oh, wait, why?
You're getting Invisalign done?
I'm just picking it up.
I just have one snaggle tooth.
Wait, your teeth look great.
The snaggle tooth drives me crazy.
Turn this way.
You have such good teeth.
Where is it snaggling?
Snaggling.
Guys, it's snagging.
Wait, hold on.
Look at me.
Guys, it's snaggling.
I'm going to be so real.
I think you should keep that.
It gives you a character.
No.
I'm getting rid of it.
Cutie.
I've already paid.
Not one person do I know would ever even notice.
I have dentist news too.
I recently found out you can get a gum graft.
Y'all have to do it.
Oh, yeah.
They take gums from cadavers.
No, no, they take your own gums.
Are you sure?
Well, my place would take my own gums.
Okay.
To what end?
Yeah, to like align your gums or like where you find your gums.
So I have like when I smile really big, these my canines are a little higher than the rest of my teeth.
Teeth are perfect.
No, they're not.
See, if I smile like... Don't talk to me about my snaggling.
But when I smile really big, these canines are just a little higher.
So they're going to even out my gums with a gum graft.
Like you can do anything at the fucking dentist now.
Wow.
Yep.
I want to get fangs or at least one fang.
I think fangs look so cool.
Yeah.
Like one fang because I just feel like I'm a one fang type of guy.
I want to get like the attachment ones.
So you can just pop them on when I'm.
But like nice ones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if I want any of them.
I've always wanted a tooth gem, actually, but I just don't think you too.
And I'm scared of the removal process.
I do think I could pull it off.
I think you could, especially when you're in your baddie attire.
I think you could do it.
Wait, Will.
I kind of want you to rate Cutie's Fit today.
Do you want to see my belly button?
Yeah.
Show me.
Give us a 360, like those creeps in the chat would say.
She's given like 2003 bad girl.
And like, you know.
Oh!
I got it.
Okay.
Right?
Okay.
What's going on with the shirt at the front?
No, that's.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
My boobs are too big.
Look at this little tall.
I like that.
I'm so cool.
I told you you had big boobs.
No, I don't.
But you just said your boobs are too tight.
No, I like it a lot.
It's just my straps are too tight, so it's pulling it up.
You're kind of embracing your baddie.
Yeah, she is.
This is a new era.
I like what brought upon this era.
Aside from the gaping butthole market.
I lost 10 pounds.
Period.
What'd you do to lose 10 pounds?
I went to Utah and I got happy.
I'm down 25.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, go to Utah and get happy for three months.
You'll lose more.
You lost weight when you're happy.
I'm quite the opposite.
Really?
Yeah, I gain weight when I'm happy because I'm eating.
I'm ripped right now.
I'm on a diet right now.
The concussion?
No, just the boxing.
I'm losing weight to make weight.
Oh, he's like, you said you're sad.
You know, ripped.
Oh.
You said you lose weight when you're sad.
Are we all on a diet?
Are we all on a diet?
Look at us.
Almost.
It's summertime.
I'm having a sprite.
No, I love your fit.
Sprite's great.
Zero sugar.
I'm trying.
Remember at the beginning of the year, I said it's the make them regret it year.
Okay, who's them?
Ben.
This is your Kai Sanat here.
Ben.
Kyle.
Yeah, Ben and Kyle.
I'm making them regret it.
Fuck yeah.
You should go back to that old Navy.
He's probably still working there.
No, he works at a tattoo shop now.
You followed?
You know where he works now?
He ended up taking my virginity.
You guys didn't know that?
I feel like I didn't connect the dots.
Fuck, cutie.
I didn't know it was the same thing.
How much trauma do you have?
Enough to go around.
Well, clearly.
Well, I think it's time for dark hair cutie.
Do you want me to talk to him?
No, he's fine.
No, he's not.
No.
He's like 30-something now.
He's probably 30.
Oh, my God.
He's like 40 now.
Is he still hot?
I'll see.
Let's see.
Well, we're going to check it out.
We're going to do a live reaction.
God.
You'll see.
It's not a crazy thing.
She asked if he was.
Can I live react first?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's bring back dark hair cutie.
I feel like she has different power.
Not him.
Well, I don't like doing my.
We'll bring you back on the shows.
I don't.
Yeah, he's got to shave his head.
Yeah.
I don't.
I don't.
Dude, I can't find him.
Yes, you can.
I will find.
Oh, that's his old stuff.
No, that's.
Oh, he's hiding because he knows.
Oh.
That's him at one point.
Oh.
The photo's too old.
Oh, yeah.
You know, those like 2008.
That's crazy, cutie.
Like, no, like, you can pull.
Like, it's, I don't think he's you can pull getting groomed.
No, no.
I'm sorry.
Pokey, why get the.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to get destroyed this podcast.
I made Photo Will's concussion.
I laughed, gave her no sympathy, and now I'm.
It's okay.
I don't know.
I just thought he was different.
He has a lot of tattoos.
I told you.
I thought he just had like maybe one or two.
When was that?
I'm sure he's happy now.
I don't know.
Do you not want to associate with me anymore?
That's him.
I just say what comes to my mind, and sometimes that's not a good thing.
Oh, those are real.
What do you mean?
Like, you need them to see.
Oh, I do have some with prescription.
Oh.
But these ones.
So sure.
Or like, I don't need to see them close.
I'm just like, I'm really just thinking so.
For the action.
Yeah.
No, they started falling.
No, I'm really just thinking so intensely about this person.
Like, you know, when you tried to, like.
Okay, I'll text him.
Sorry, Lud.
Yeah.
That can be.
Any other photos?
Let me see if I can find them.
Let's see.
Let's freaking see.
Yeah, I think he deleted his Instagram, so he's kind of hard to find.
So, by the way, I know I say this a lot.
But I ask of you guys a trip because the Knicks might make the NBA finals.
If they do, can we please go to New York and watch the Knicks in the Garden?
When is it?
It's the playoffs, so you don't really know.
I have a couple of things going on in June, but other than you talk about some of the things that I have going on in June.
Yeah, or your potential plans.
I have planned.
Thank you, Pokey, for keeping us going.
See, this is why you're here.
Oh, no, the particular plans we were discussing before without the details.
Oh, I don't think I can talk about them without the details.
I mean, he's talked about living in LA.
I've talked about living in LA, yes, and thinking about moving to LA.
Or I'm definitely moving to LA.
It's just tough to find a place because everything, I'm like, wow, that house is beautiful.
It checks all my boxes.
Master bedroom, fireplace in the master bedroom, floating shower.
Belting butler.
Cat tub.
Elevator.
Escalator.
Right?
No elevator.
I don't need that.
Three stories, six bedrooms.
Perfect.
And then I look at the price of red.
$25,000.
Can you believe that?
Kind of.
Can you believe it?
For all the things you listed.
So it's really hard to find a place, Pokey.
They're so expensive.
How can anybody afford to live here?
And you gotta have a, you know what I mean?
You've gotta have a floating tub.
It's been really challenging to find a spot.
So that's kind of the spot that I'm in is everywhere I run into that checks all my boxes.
It's ridiculously expensive.
I get that.
I think I've let go of a couple.
I'm starting to let go of a couple things.
Yeah.
No concessions.
No fireplace in the master.
You know, that's one of the toughest ones to let go.
I don't know.
Right?
How are you going to stay warm on a frigid LA summer night?
Think about it this way.
You step out of the shower.
It's cold.
What else am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
Wait, you know what's crazy?
Heated towel warmer.
A towel warmer.
Do you know how many hypothermic-related deaths in Los Angeles are?
I don't.
Hypothermia claims another twin.
Yes.
Wow.
He's shaking like a chihuahua.
God, I think there's infomercials.
This is what he looked like when he did.
Wow.
He is like.
I found it all.
I found a.
That's a man that is super in jail.
I don't think you need to be in jail.
He should be in prison for life.
Jail Time for Pokey 00:02:11
Pokey.
Is there...
Oh, go ahead.
No, I'm having bad thoughts I should not express in public.
Yeah.
Me too, girl.
Sorry, you were going to say.
As we wrap up this podcast, it was probably one of the best we ever had.
Seriously.
Seriously.
I don't know what could be missing that changed that, but Pokey, shout outs to you.
What's going on?
What would you like to talk about?
Shout out.
Shout out, Kelly.
Shouts.
Honestly, I'm here just for fun.
Like, you guys need to fill.
I am your dedicated friend.
Can I just say something?
I want to be like the hidden kids member.
Pokey.
10 minutes away.
I'll hop by whenever.
Last time she came on this podcast, she said, anytime, anytime you need me, anytime you want me to come on, I'm here for it.
I have a great time.
You know what?
A lot of people say that shit in this town.
A lot of people say that, but Pokey.
Pokey.
He hit me up two days ago.
I was like, okay.
Pokey's like, sure.
You know, we didn't have to change our schedule around.
She was here on time.
She beat all of us here.
She was here before all of us.
Except Austin.
Except me.
I was here.
I flew in.
His schedule's proceeding.
Yeah, that's right.
Very good.
Thank you all for listening.
Thank you guys for watching.
We are going to the Patreon where we are going to talk about really great things.
And you should give us, you should subscribe.
Great.
Period.
I'm so sorry.
Can I interrupt and say I've never had a deep dish pizza?
I think I just saw that on Twitter.
Wait for that.
On your Twitter.
Reading deprivation.
I can't look at Twitter.
Is that not a Pope serving the body of Christ?
What the fuck does that mean?
Well, there's a new Pope being sworn next.
What's that got to do with the Deep Dish Pizza?
Deep Dish Pizza is the home of the Pope.
No, well, Chicago is the home of Deep Dish Pizza.
And also the home of the Pope.
I don't think we talked about this enough, Pokey.
The Pope?
They elected an American Pope.
Okay.
An American Pope.
And proudly standing.
Well, finally, we have a representative of God's favorite country.
Wow.
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