Matthew McVay, a former Green Beret and Trump supporter, detonated explosives in a Cybertruck outside Las Vegas after shooting himself, leaving authorities to debate whether he was killed or locked inside. The episode also covers the Jeju Air crash caused by a bird strike, a viral story of a passenger masturbating on a plane due to Ambien, and a chaotic New Year's Eve bear party involving sexual harassment. Ultimately, the hosts navigate a chaotic mix of aviation disasters, conspiracy theories about "Smart Dust," and personal anecdotes while questioning motives behind recent violent acts. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Stolen Water and Gay Names00:15:11
No, I pointed at Sandwich and say, hey, where'd you get the water?
Yeah, that's what he said.
He points at Sandwich.
Where'd you get the water?
I was thirsty.
Say hello first, Hassan.
He's a birdie.
I said, say hello first.
So then he goes, oh, hi, hello.
You know what?
I'm starting to think.
Maybe all frat guys are autistic.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode and another year of the Fear and Podcast.
Woo!
Happy 2025.
Joining us today is Hassan Piker.
Are you even allowed to say joining us today when it you when you're you know missing podcast episodes?
Excuse me, I'm not done.
No, and cutie Cinderella.
No, how about how about it's me and cutie Cinderella joining us as our special guest?
Oh, I missed one episode.
Special guest.
I missed one episode.
He sometimes doesn't show up when he doesn't feel like it.
Austin showed up.
It's so funny because Will isn't here, who has a great reason not to be here, by the way.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, self-suck.
Self-suck accident.
For the record, I had a I missed last episode because I had strep throat.
Okay.
All right.
I had strep throat, woke up on the 22nd with that.
What were you doing?
Okay, before anybody says this is supposed to be like a Christ-like holiday.
What were you doing?
I immediately thought I got something from something, but I didn't.
What was the something?
It was strep A, all right?
Strep group A, which is not typically strep, which is a sexy disease because it sounds like strep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it could be received by stripping.
True.
That's how Austin got it.
So this is what I did.
All right.
And I don't know where I got strep from.
Thursday was the podcast.
Wait, no one else in your vicinity had strep?
No.
You got it from the airplane then, for sure.
Airplane.
So this is Thursday podcast.
Fly back Friday morning.
All right.
Friday night, gay Christmas party.
Gay Christmas.
Okay.
Well, Friday night after the gay Christmas party, gay bar.
Oh, bro.
You are literally.
You're patient zero.
You probably gay people strep to their own.
No, I don't know how I got it.
Regardless, I didn't kiss anybody.
I didn't kiss nobody.
I didn't do any activities that was extracurricular.
No, nothing.
Okay.
No penis in the throat.
No, which is interesting because I talked to a gay doctor that I know about this.
Why is everyone gay?
I don't know.
Gay doctor.
I have a gay doctor.
I'm a fear doctor, a gay doctor.
Because I was like, Dr. Gay.
Does he specialize in homosexual activities?
No.
Or is he just gay who happens to be a doctor?
He's an ER doctor that happens to be gay.
And the only emergencies are gay emergencies.
No, no, no.
He happens to, he knows about gay things because he happens to be homosexual himself.
So, Dr. Gay, he did not specialize in gay stuff, chat.
I'm asking this question because I know you call them chat.
Yeah.
I'm commenters.
I did my makeup in the dark and I just realized how hard my contour line is.
It's so funny because Austin didn't tell me.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what looks great or not.
Damn.
So Dr. Gay tells me strep A is not the strep that you usually get.
I couldn't tell.
Oh.
Okay.
So Dr. Gay tells me strep A is not typically what you would get when you eat ass.
No.
I know.
You can get strep from an ass.
100%.
Wait, what's it was?
So she typically strep.
He's like, strep F and G is typically.
So do they have strep ass in that situation then?
Does her ass hurt?
Like, no, what?
Wait, actually, that's a good point.
I don't know.
How do you care about strep from the asshole?
Technically, your butthole is the throat of your butt.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor.
Okay.
Doctor's like, you got a case of the strep ass.
I'm a gay doctor.
I know these things.
I don't know what I went to gay university.
You could get strep ass, strep from eaten butt.
Uh, eaten booty.
All right.
Is that even true?
It's true.
I don't know.
I think the gay doctor told him because I had strep last year and I think that's where it came from.
I question.
I question the authority of this gay doctor.
You need to suck his penis to see if he's gay.
What the fuck?
You need to have sex with him because I don't believe he's actually gay.
Wait, what?
How the hell did we get here?
I think this gay doctor is lying.
He might be a doctor, but he does not specialize in gay behavior.
What the hell are you talking about?
He's gay.
I don't know.
Do you know that?
I know he's gay.
How do you know that?
The way he walks.
Wow.
Well, I'm sorry.
Is there a way that gay people walk?
No, but look, I'm not saying, look, here's the deal.
I need to get this out here.
I need to put this out here.
This may be controversial.
Okay.
All right.
Gay could be anything.
You could be gay.
Yeah.
People on the internet tell me that all the time.
You could be gay.
I'm gay.
Marsh could be gay.
You know?
I mean, he looks a little gay.
Let's be real.
Why does he look gay?
Okay, okay, you're right.
Yeah, I think you're right.
However, we figured out the part of this episode is going to be titled Austin Comes Out as Homophobic.
No, look, I'm just going to say what most people won't say.
It's going to be very brave.
I think there are certain things these queers do.
No, I think there's my gyno is gay.
Did you?
What is he?
What do you want?
He looked at my vagina and went, ew, yuck.
Is that see?
I don't know if he's gay.
He has to be gay.
He's the only way.
Look, gay is in all of us.
You can be gay.
Who cares?
Right?
At the end of the day.
However, there is a positive correlation at times between certain things.
Like what?
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
He's just trying to say some people just act real gay.
That's it.
But he's trying to be politically correct about it, which is coming across as more insensitive, I think.
But first of all, I want to be very clear here.
What?
What's next?
Are you going to talk about limpris?
Is that what we're going to do?
I mean, look.
Whoa.
I'm not saying.
You're a homophobe.
I'm not saying I love it.
I love it.
I'm going to give you my Trump, my special Trump zig bag.
It's for you now.
Anyway, because he likes this.
This is him.
Look, I'm not saying, like, gay is in all of us.
It's great to be gay.
I love and accept all gay people.
Okay.
Okay.
I want everybody to know.
You're specifying that.
I do that too, and I don't have to say it.
Yeah.
I don't say it.
I say the opposite.
I said, I do not accept any of you.
But also, you specifying that almost feels like you don't support it.
I do support it.
Are you homophobic?
I don't.
I'm not homophobic.
Last time you went to Victoria's Ear, you were very scared.
I was straight phobic.
You were kind of, you were worried they were going to call you a man being in there.
And then you were like, but I'm not.
Wait, what?
No, I wanted to.
I thought he was back and forth.
I wanted to be gay.
You wanted to be gay.
I'm proud to be gay.
Gay is the only way.
I'm happy we did this.
Anyway, this had nothing to do with any of you.
All right.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
I have a couple things that I have to come clean about.
Actually, I'm going to bring it in real quick.
Hold on.
This is an apology for Cutie Cinderella, but not for Austin.
I'm so sorry, Cutie.
I feel like we completely mansplained that first part of the episode.
I feel fine.
The less I have to talk, the better my day is.
So if you guys yap, I say, okay.
Yeah.
And then I keep my lovely singing voice for my car ride home.
Do you sing in the car?
Oh, yeah.
I see.
I sing in the car.
I even do karaoke tracks.
Really?
I've been trying to be an alpha buff for about a month now.
I cannot be alpha buff to the western guy.
Wow.
It is.
It's Austin's present.
Yeah, that was stolen from me.
Uh-oh.
Oh, you just broke it.
Well, it's kind of fine because now you can say you got this for Murat.
You could regift.
That's okay.
I will say a lot of.
Oh my God, you lost.
Oh, it's right there.
It's under that thing.
Very down out of.
What did that look like, Mark?
Oh, I touched where your butt goes.
I didn't like it.
So a lot of people got really offended on behalf of me because I mentioned that Hassan re-gifted this or whatever.
Oh, because he re-gifted his too.
And I don't care.
I think it was so rude that Hassan regifted this.
It's up to you to decide.
I was sick in bed with strep throat, helpless, struggling to breathe.
You made an Autistic Engineer very happy, but I did actually, because he doesn't know that you actually gifted this to him because I gifted it to him.
No.
Technically.
No, I did.
I gave it to him.
Yeah, but in front of the whole family.
I do.
This would look really good in my foyer.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry.
Don't do it that way.
You can also, I think you can take out the landing gear as well.
I'm not entirely sure how that's done or like turn it.
I need you to have somebody.
Oh, you can open it too to the power.
Look, Oh, my God.
You can retract the landing gear?
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This also obviously tilts, but I don't know how to do that.
Oh, my gosh.
But yeah, it has a retractable landing gear.
Oh, my gosh.
It's incredible.
And apparently it took Murat four hours to make.
Which is actually very impressive.
Yeah.
No, he should start doing Lego speedruns.
So here's the thing.
I would have hired somebody out there.
I swear one of your twings would have liked to do it.
Do you think so?
Yeah.
I don't have that many, but I'm sure there's a few that would.
Here's the thing.
Yes, I re-gifted this to Murat.
Okay.
I stole Austin's gift and I gave it to Murat because it's sexy.
Hear me out.
A little party with a bunch of guys wearing jock straps building my Concord.
There's something wrong with you.
Go and get butt strap again or something.
You're horny.
I'm not horny.
More fun for me.
Yeah.
You're not doing it.
You don't even have the Lego set.
Straggits.
No.
So I knew that in my defense, I knew that Austin, there was no way in hell he was going to ever build this.
He was ever going to build this or even take it home with him because it was too large of a package.
And he can't, he hates traveling with large packages.
So I expertly took this and gifted it to Murat and he loved it.
He told me, my brother, for those of you who don't know, he's a Boeing engineer.
He builds spaceships.
And he went on a retreat with like four other engineers.
So he was like, oh, we're going to love this.
Like, we're going to build the crap out of this during the retreat.
He tells me he just sat in the corner and built it by himself in the first three hours before people even started showing up to the retreat.
That's awesome.
He was so excited that he just put it together.
That's so great.
I would like to make it very clear that when I bought this, I said you should give it to Murat.
This was not a unique thought that you were taking credit for.
If you need the credit, I'll give it to you.
Are you taking credit for giving it to Austin and also giving it to Murat?
Yes, because I bought it for Austin.
I said, Hassan, you should get this for Murat.
Well, I should have told you.
So, yeah, I am.
I'm going to have my cake and eat it too.
Hassan stole it from me.
Horrible, but I'm happy Murat.
Yeah, of course.
And I would have done that same thing.
Has he not stole it from me?
Right.
In the interest of apology.
No, you wouldn't have.
In the interest of apologies, I also got you a New Year's gift in replacement.
Okay, first of all, y'all, I'm going to blow Hassan's cover.
Murat got me this.
I don't know.
Stop.
Murat got me this gift, and I'm so excited.
He got it for me, and he's so excited.
Did you give Murat anything for Christmas?
No, I know.
So there you go.
No, I gave it to you.
I did.
Yeah.
I gave it to him for Christmas.
You have to get him.
Here we go.
I'm ready to open it.
Murat, evidently.
You have to get him something different.
I'll send you another Lego set.
You can give him a huge.
Hold on, there's a freaking address on here.
Okay.
Don't drama.
Show it.
Wait.
That's not even anybody's name that lives here.
Okay, but it might be.
Don't show it.
I'm just gonna show it for fun.
No, don't show it at all.
I'm trying to not show it.
Is it on camera?
Not if you keep the box facing that way.
No, he's fine.
He just isn't.
Oh my gosh.
That's fun.
It's guess who?
Aviation Edition.
Oh, my God, Murat.
That's crazy.
Oh, my God.
It's what I always wanted.
Murat's the most thoughtful gift giver except for me.
So sweet, Aviation Edition.
Except for me.
Oh, my gosh.
I don't even know what this means.
I'm so excited.
Guess who?
Is it like guess the plane?
No, no, no.
Like, guess that one girl, Amelia Earhart.
Oh, yeah, Murat.
Thank you.
Is it Amelia?
Is it?
Yeah, well, I haven't opened the box yet.
Oh, shit.
Is Amelia Earhart in there?
Wait, I thought there's more.
Is the coconut car?
Oh, oh, my gosh.
It's like a planes.
Holy sh.
Oh, it's planes.
Show it to the camera.
You're not going to be able to play with anyone besides Murat or anybody at all, Murat.
Do I have twin engines?
Oh, my God.
This is awesome.
Wait, wait.
Wait, they make guess who for like the most autistic people on the planet.
Oh, my God.
Shut up, 128.
Okay.
He's literally seven.
Thank you, Murat.
That's so sweet of you.
Merry Christmas and Merry Christmas.
Look at that.
That's my gift to him.
No, it's not.
That's my gift to him.
Who do you give credit to?
Oh, yeah.
No, I know we saw that.
Will you show him the passengers?
Because I know you can see the passengers too.
Murat, tilt the front.
Tilt the front.
How do you do that?
Oh, it's just like that.
Okay.
That's it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Ew, I don't, I don't find that.
It doesn't do that anymore because they don't fly anymore.
Yeah.
But speaking of airplanes, they got retired because the wheels bounced into the jet and exploded it.
Speaking of airplanes, Murat hates what you just said.
It did, Murat.
The Concorde, the wheel popped off and popped into the thingy and exploded the whole airplane, and everyone died.
Okay, this is literally the peak of aviation.
The Chinese sixth generation fighter jets also have a similar wing feature, as a matter of fact.
They had to retire the Concords because they would break the sonic boom barrier.
It was too loud.
Just not fuel efficient.
Mostly.
But it got to London from New York in six hours.
Yeah, it was pretty slow.
And that was got faster.
Three hours, three hours.
No, it was.
And that was decades ago, which is crazy.
That is yet another, another glaringly obvious example of capitalism harming innovation because it wasn't profitable enough.
Bird Strikes and Sonic Booms00:06:33
So we just stopped making them.
Okay.
Hola, cutie.
Como estas.
Me encanta tukado.
Wow, Austin.
That was awesome, but I don't think it was all the way cracked.
Why?
Because I've been studying on Rosetta Stone, and you would know if you joined me.
Like, you guys could join us.
That's right.
Do you have a New Year's resolution to learn a new language this year?
I do.
My New Year's resolution is.
Hold on one second.
One second.
Okay.
Is learning the language of Chinese.
Okay.
I, yeah.
Mandarin.
Which sounds like this.
Okay, now repeat that.
Wow.
Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today.
Fear and listeners can take advantage of Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership of 50% off.
Visit rosettastone.com/slash fear.
That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life.
Rest of your life.
Redeem your 50% off at www.rosettastone.com/slash fear today.
Not to get on that old tangent, but I'd like to first of all acknowledge and appreciate cutie's bravery for getting on a plane and flying to see Taylor Swift.
We talked about this.
I didn't like it.
And then literally not more than a couple weeks later.
All these planes are crashing.
Planes start fucking falling out of the sky.
Yeah.
And disaster after disaster is occurring.
None of them wear Airbuses, though.
That's true, which is good, which means we have hope.
We're actually flying to Japan on an Airbus, which is true.
No.
No, she won't go.
I know she's definitely not going now because of the air disaster.
What?
What?
Wait.
I'll be like, I told you so.
So anyway, there was a plane that was shot down.
That was not one that you should be.
Yeah, why does that happen twice?
That is two more times than it should happen.
I know.
It's certainly.
And it's by the same people, too.
Why?
Just Hassan, probably.
Would you quit?
Hey, quit touching it.
Let it be.
We need to take this off the table during the pilot.
It's going to be a distraction.
You are knocking glasses together the whole time.
Everyone needs a fidget spinner.
I know.
So anyway, Jeju Air 737-800, right, Murat?
Crashed into the localizer at the end of a runway.
Yeah, what the hell is that about?
So here's the deal.
I'm not a pilot.
I'm not a smart shield.
There's a couple things.
It's very peculiar, Cutie, because it defies sort of all conventional knowledge about what you would do in a situation like this.
So there's obviously, hopefully, you would hope that, you know, there was...
I would hope there wasn't a wall at the end of my runway.
Normally there isn't.
Normally, there isn't in the United States.
Normally, they have a lump of dirt.
Yeah, a lump of dirt.
It just gives way to the crash into it.
It softens the impact.
Yeah.
The 737-800, what we saw in the video landed without flaps, landing gear.
Yeah, which is crazy.
It's like, let's all celebrate.
And then they run to a freaking wall.
No, but that's the problem.
Yeah, exactly.
If they didn't have that wall there and they had a lump of dirt, they probably would have survived the impact.
Yeah, or at least a lot more people would have survived the impact.
Now, here's the peculiar thing.
The 737, so we've all seen the video that the plane lands and skids down the runway and crashes into the wall.
What preceded that moment is the plane came in for an approach.
It was a missed approach and they hit a bird is what the video shows.
Hit a bird.
There was a bird strike of some sort.
That shit pisses me off.
So what they did is they turned around and instead of landing on the runway that they originally were landing on, they turn around and land on the opposite runway, which is the opposite direction.
And then that's where you see them come in with no flaps, no landing gear.
They land halfway down the runway.
So it's only a 9,000-foot runway, giving themselves about 4,500 feet of space to go, smash into the wall, kill everybody except two flight attendants who are, I think, in the back of the plane.
It's really interesting here because the 737-800 is equipped with a lever that you can pull or like strings that you can pull that will release the landing gear and they'll just come down by gravity.
So that's interesting why you wouldn't do that.
The other thing is a bird strike shouldn't impact the hydraulic system of the aircraft.
So you should, you would think even without any engines, I think you'd be able to have some sort of, I don't know if that's true or not.
Without any engines, you'd still have some hydraulic power, right?
With the APU.
Yeah, there's A, B, okay, okay.
There are three hydraulic systems.
A, B, and C, right?
On the 7th of Center.
There's numerous redundancies on every Boeing aircraft.
Right.
And so what's interesting to me is what somebody suggested, which is what I agree with the most in this situation, is perhaps the pilots lost another engine somehow.
They lost both engines somehow.
And they thought if they were to put the gear down, they would not be able to make the runway because when you bring the gear down, you slow yourself significantly.
And you maybe they thought their best chance to land was without gear because they would have become essentially the that's the only way they could have made it back to the runway.
Similar to the miracle on the Hudson, remember the double bird strike with the guy.
Okay, but that was that was a water landing, wasn't it?
Yes.
It doesn't make sense, is what I'm saying.
It does not make logical sense.
Why would you land without the landing gear?
Why wouldn't you employ any efforts to they didn't they didn't put pull out the uh the I think maybe one reverse thruster on one side.
Um they didn't how did they see all this the black box?
Well, we're all we know is based on the footage.
Yeah, we're speculating around speculating a lot of speculation because the black box is not available yet.
I don't know.
We don't know what happened really, but um it just is very peculiar.
What's sad is I wasn't supposed to see this, but because I keep talking about the New Jersey drones and the aliens, it popped up on my Reddit under UFOs.
Yeah.
I said, what the heck?
I muted all the plane Reddits.
I wasn't supposed to see this, but you saw it.
Yeah, it was very sad.
Does this push your fear back?
Yeah, it's miserable.
Sleepwalking Flight Attendants00:06:59
You shouldn't be afraid to fly.
Yeah, I should be.
No, because even if you land successfully, 737 maximum wall.
No, that's in the United States or wherever you're going to fly.
I will tell you where the localizer is.
And it's not at the end of the runway like that.
It's never, but you just, you can run right through it.
They're not supposed to reinforce it with concrete.
A lot of like American airports, it has existed around the world, specifically it has existed in American airports, but they've gone and cleaned it up and taken away those walls.
You'll never see that at a U.S. airport.
I don't fuck with that shit.
But I do have an airplane story.
Tell us.
So this, it's not mine.
It's a woman.
But it's going viral.
Okay.
So this woman was, this is the flight attendant story of it.
This woman.
Oh.
Yeah.
I was going to tell the story, but go ahead.
Tell the story.
So this woman is a flight attendant and they're like, you know, doing their walk around, making sure everyone's in their seat, seatbelt check, whatever.
She sees this woman with her feet, her bare feet up on the seat behind her, right?
And so she's like, I'm going to go tell this woman to put her dogs away.
Call the marshal.
She walks back there.
The lady's pants and underwear are underneath her knees and she's just flirting it.
Yeah.
She's flicking the bean.
She's flicking the bean.
No.
Bear being out in the open.
And apparently it was like not a full flight.
So she had like the whole row to herself and at least like kind of the area.
She was in the very back of the plane.
She's all by herself.
And so then she didn't see the flight attendant walking up.
The flight attendant's like, ma'am, ma'am.
And she like, her like eyes are rolled to the back of her head.
Like she's clearly on something.
She's like going for it.
And then, um, and so she's like, oh my God, she grabs a blanket and like throws it over the lady.
And then she calls the pilots and she was like, there is a woman in the back of the plane who will not reply to me who's just jerking it.
And the pilots are like making fun of her.
They're like, no, there's no way.
And she's like, I'm being serious.
And they're like, oh, well.
And then like, as she's talking to the pilot, the woman orgasms and then just falls asleep.
And she's like, I mean, I guess she's done now.
Like, and they're like, what?
And so they call the police to like, when they land, because it's just from LAX to Seattle.
Like, it's a short flight.
I mean, you got to, you got to crank one out.
I guess so.
Sometimes if it's time, it's time.
You know what I mean?
So then they start doing the, so then it's been two hours.
So they start doing the, you know, put your seatbelt, sit up straight again.
And so the flight attendant walks back and kind of shakes her awake again and is like, ma'am, you know, whatever.
And the lady then is awake and sees that her pants are down at her ankles.
And so she like pulls her pants on and like makes eye contact with the flight attendant and is like, what the heck?
And then the flight attendant's like, did do you remember anything of the past two hours?
And she's like, no.
And she's like, well, just so you know, you were masturbating and the police are going to come get you as soon as we land.
And the lady was like groggy and kind of in shock and whatever.
And they land and the police come on, arrest her, take her off.
Okay.
Now there's more to the story.
Oh, really?
Oh, more to the story.
Austin.
Why do you know more details about the story?
So he's friends with the woman.
No, what happened is the woman allegedly took an ambient before her flight.
To those that don't know what ambient is.
That's what I would say, too, if I got caught for that.
Ambient is a sleep medication, but you don't take it on a two-hour flight.
No, that's crazy.
Ambient is a sleep medication.
She has anxiety.
A lot of people hallucinate on.
My grandmother was one of them.
I remember when I was younger, my mom got a call in the middle of the night from my grandfather because my grandmother had a lot of people.
Was she masturbating on an airplane?
No, no, no.
She had taken, she had taken an ambient and we went over there.
I'm not going to detail what we saw, but my grandmother was in masturbating in the house.
No, she was in not the right state of mind.
Yeah.
Completely like literally just like out of her mind.
Where was she masturbating?
She was not masturbating.
Okay.
Okay.
But like what was she doing?
I can't say.
She was like, okay, my grandmother's, my grandmother's been, you know, I don't want to air my poop related.
Yeah, it was poop related.
I did, damn.
My head went nailed.
Anyway, she was like shitting into a bucket.
It was like, whatever.
In the middle of the kitchen.
In the middle of the kitchen.
It's pretty silly.
In the middle of the kitchen?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Why do you have a bucket in the kitchen?
I don't know what.
It wasn't my kitchen.
It was her kitchen.
She probably went and got the bucket.
Yeah.
So why are you obsessed with the poop of my grandmother?
I feel like the logistics of this is difficult.
He has a scat fetish.
I've been telling everybody.
Yeah, I do.
Regardless.
You do.
Regardless.
This is what happens.
A lot of people hallucinate.
So she took an ambient.
And she was not in her right mind.
She definitely didn't know what was going on.
Some people have this reaction.
I feel actually really bad for her.
Because I don't think that, first of all, you shouldn't take.
Part of me is like, okay, you're stupid for taking an ambient.
Yeah, but she probably didn't know.
The doctor was probably like, take that.
People are such nervous.
People are such nervous flyers.
That's why you have to go with a gay doctor.
A gay doctor.
Like a doctor specializing in gay stuff.
The gay doctor never told her that.
Yeah.
So anyway, that's a brain curve to the story that she had taken an ambient.
That's so crazy.
So like, then you have to live with her.
So what did your grandma think she was doing?
I don't know.
She doesn't remember.
Yeah, they don't remember anything.
They don't remember anything.
Wow.
Ambient.
Why is this drug readily available?
I don't know.
And it happens to a lot of people.
Yeah.
What the?
Because it's like 50% or something.
50%.
You fall asleep or you were safe.
50-50 shot at 50 years.
You got to make that stat up.
There's a lot of making sense.
There's a lot of sleep medications.
Like my uncle was on one.
I'm going to go.
And like, there's a lot of sleep medications that people are like, why am I gaining weight?
And a lot of people sleep eat.
What?
Yes.
They sleep eat.
These sleep medications are crazy.
They'll like make you sleep eat.
Like you'll wake up.
You'll be like, why am I gaining weight?
I'm eating so good.
I'm eating like salads and shit during the day.
And then I wake up and I'm like 20.
You just wake.
You're just like awake, but you're sleeping.
No.
And you sleepwalk to the kitchen.
You're awake, but you don't remember it.
You go to the kitchen, you eat.
You just eat.
It gives you the money.
Sleepwalking and like sleep terrors and sleep stuff is so crazy.
Yeah.
Like so crazy.
It's terrifying.
There's that one girl that got really famous on TikTok for her sleepwalking because they would like a post.
She'd post like her security videos because she was like funny when she was sleepwalking or whatever.
But then people like were accusing her of faking or sleepwalking.
And part of it was like, why wouldn't you fake it?
You're getting millions of views.
Like if you're known as a sleepwalk girl, like for sure, I would start doing some crazy shit, pretend I was sleepwalking.
But who knows?
I don't know if she was pretending, but I'm just saying.
Yeah, exactly.
Like I would rather stage the videos than actually sleepwalk.
Have you ever sleptwalked before?
No, my sister did once and it was so scary.
Scary.
And then X, when Felix stayed with us, he did a few times and it I, the poor guy, I can't imagine.
Smelling Like a Purse00:03:03
He, it's so bad.
He's a sleepwalker.
He's asleep.
Talker.
It's a sleep.
He has sleep terror, so he'll start running.
He'll start kicking.
Yeah, it's a good thing.
Dude, if I saw that gremlin coming down the hallway, I would kill him.
Oh my God.
No, I'm serious.
If I saw his like little pasty body with his skinny arms like a night terror, like he started, he's punching.
You wouldn't know what he's doing.
You know he's in your house.
If you think he's a demon, you shoot him.
No, you wouldn't.
When he did it the few times with us, he was like yelling help.
Like he's yelling help because he thinks he's beating someone up.
He thinks he's getting attacked.
Now, if you did it, I'd shoot you.
Yeah.
With him, I'm like.
He's like 100 pounds.
You just give him a hug and he's like, that's scary or that he's like 100 pounds.
Like, he's just like, why are you two people that are afraid of everything?
Yeah, no, I mean, it was, it's, it was scary to wake up because obviously it's scarier for him than me.
He looks like a.
No, he doesn't.
He looks like a twink in West Hollywood.
No, he looks like he, he looks more like a, like a, like a freakish, like horror film subject.
See, I think he's a good looking guy.
I'm just thinking about him like flailing his arms.
Like, he is punching.
He punches.
But yeah, sleep stuff is.
Sleeping is crazy.
Sleeping is crazy.
Yeah.
I think it's crazy that you don't try to go to a doctor and fix that.
You do.
And they give you sleep meds that sometimes make it worse.
Yeah.
Man, cutie.
Cutie, what's the thing that your gynecologist told you last time you went to the doctor?
He said, wowie, you smell amazing down there.
He said that.
And he said, it's also really nice and tight.
Also, side note, but it smells so good is what he said.
And why do you think that is?
Well, I think it's because you use Mando.
I do because anyone can, you guys.
And it can be used anywhere on your body.
Even your coochie.
Your coochie.
And it's because all the products are baking soda-free and paraban-free.
That's right.
As well as aluminum-free, you idiot.
You should know that.
It's a whole body deodorant.
And it's this one smells so good.
And this one's bourbon leather.
I smell like a purse down there.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You do smell like a purple.
And a purse.
And your gyno loves it.
Okay.
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You have no problems.
Yeah.
New Year's Eve Habits00:03:28
Some problems.
I have problems.
I just don't, I deal with them differently, which is I just don't care about it.
I think the biggest gift that anybody could have is the ability to sleep well.
Yeah.
A lot of people, you know how many people struggle with sleeping?
I think it's like almost everybody at a certain point has like a sleep problem.
I don't.
I've had a sleep problem.
I have to take magnet.
You take magnesium?
No, magnesium gives me sleep paralysis.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know why.
So does melatonin.
Sleep paralysis.
What do you use to sleep?
Nothing.
If I just, if I don't have an alarm set in the morning, I can sleep.
Oh.
So I just, sometimes if I'm not sleeping, I just have to cancel all my appointments, which I'm incredibly blessed to be able to do, obviously.
But like, it's so annoying.
Yeah.
If I think about it, I just can't sleep.
Yeah.
That's why TwitchCon was so miserable for me.
I just could not sleep there.
You need to get up in the morning.
Yeah.
Cause I had to wake up.
Even if you have like 10 a.m. alarm.
That's what's crazy.
I can have a noon alarm.
Really?
You won't sleep.
It's so weird.
See, for me, it's like if I have, if it's a 9 a.m. before 10 a.m. alarm, can't sleep.
So weird.
But I don't get up.
I usually get up.
I mean, I slept till 11 this morning, which is very strange.
I'm worried you guys are going to give me like these weird habits by proxy.
Like just by listening to you guys, I'm going to have to go.
I call autism from you.
Yeah, and me too.
I didn't have autism before I met you.
You still don't have it, apparently.
Yeah, I'm low on the scale.
So in social situations, I will advise you guys on how to navigate.
Oh my God.
Speaking of social situations, we went to a New Year's Earth.
This asshole.
What I got to tell you about my New Year's Eve.
I pull up to this New Year's party and it's Ethan Nestor's New Year's party.
And Ethan Nestor is outside.
I pull up.
I roll down my window.
She was supposed to.
You were going to do your own thing.
Because I was like hitting up Ludwig.
Yeah, I was hitting up Ludwig.
I was like talking to him, like, yo, what are you doing?
You know, you guys come into this thing.
That's what I'm going to do.
Anyway, Kismet.
I'm outside.
So is Ethan outside of his own house because they were moving Jarvis's car around.
Cutie rolls up, rolls down the window, goes, hi, guys.
I immediately say, hey, were you invited to this party?
That's so mean.
That's so mean.
And also, knowing the trauma that she had when she wasn't involved.
It's funny because I was like, wasn't I send you the address?
Yes.
I sent her the address in the RSVP link.
So I was obviously.
But I was nervous that since you sent it to me, that I wasn't actually invited.
But then I clicked on it and it was already in my party full.
So I think I was invited.
I just didn't look at my party full.
But then I started to get to the next step.
Did you check to see if you were invited?
Yes, because this freak is sitting and he's like, you weren't invited.
And so then I started apologizing to Ethan profusely.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
If I wasn't invited, I'll leave.
And he's like, no, you're always welcome.
And I'm like, no, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, this asshole is just sitting there.
For being a freak.
For being like, oh, I'm so sorry.
No, it's not, it's not even that bad.
Then we're at, we're at the party.
I'm talking to Sandwich and two other people.
Hassan walks by.
He has not greeted these people.
He walks by.
He goes, where are the drinks?
No, I pointed at Samuel and say, hey, where did you get the water?
Yeah, that's what he said.
He points at Sandwich.
Where'd you get the water?
I was thirsty.
Say hello first, Hassan.
He's a birdie.
I said, say hello first.
So then he goes, oh, hi, hello.
You know what I'm starting to think?
Maybe all frat guys are autistic.
Maybe that's.
Yeah, but hello first.
Hello first.
Special Ops Party Guest00:15:13
Hello.
I didn't have time for that.
Can I tell people that if you don't say hello to them?
I'm sorry, man.
I do it to him all the time.
I say, say hello first, or I'll say, say, please.
Should I say sorry?
He doesn't mean it.
It's not what he means.
Sorry.
He's still in training.
Yeah, I just mean it.
He's so good afterwards.
I socialized.
Yeah, I socialized.
I told you I prep people before I meet him.
I say, he may not look you in the eye.
Oh, my.
And he may not say hello, but he does care for you.
He does care for you.
He does.
He does like other people.
And it's endearing.
And women can not, they can't help but resist.
They can't resist him.
Yeah.
And men.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Austin, I got you a New Year's or Christmas gift as well.
He just pulled that out.
No, I got this for you.
Because you need some God in your life.
Oh, my God.
It's being turned already.
Oh, this is the burnt one.
He bought like seven of these.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
New England.
It smells like nothing, no?
Our Lady of Charity.
It smells like nothing.
I have a nativity set in my house.
Do you?
Why?
I don't know.
I was feeling really in the spirit of Christmas and I told my aunt.
That's like too much.
I told her.
I was like, can you build me a nativity set?
And I walked in and there was a nativity set there.
Like a big one?
What?
So you kept the Christ in Christmas.
I did.
How big?
It takes up my entire fucking dresser.
Really?
And I was like, where's the snow?
And then I was like, wait, they didn't have fucking snow when Jesus was born.
Yeah, he was in Bethlehem.
I know.
That's what I was like.
I wanted her to put snow in the nativity set.
That's fine because it's fine.
You can decorate it anyway.
You can do it.
Should have Palestinians.
Whatever.
Baby Jesus.
I will next year.
But I was like, you know what?
I want to put the Jesus back in Christmas.
Okay.
So I brought.
These goddamn wokes.
This is 2025.
We're in Trumptown now.
We're in Trump territory now.
We are.
And the country is falling apart, ladies and gentlemen.
It really is.
Are you guys familiar with the things that have taken place over the course of the past two years?
Yeah, it's Smart Dust.
Have you heard about it?
Smart Dust.
Smart Dust.
Oh, no, you're right.
There's fog all across America in weird places like Florida in the middle of the day.
And it's not real fog.
It's dust that the government is planting.
Yeah, kitty, that's ridiculous.
No, it's real.
I can't believe you actually believe this.
I'm not actually, I'm not being real.
Wait, you know, when I landed at LAX today, there was a lot of fog.
Weird.
It is weird.
Why would you...
No, no, no.
Hold on.
No, no.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
Why would you, why would there be fog at 6.30 at night?
I don't know.
I don't know because the weather changes.
The smart dust got me.
From hot to cold, to cold to hot.
That's what they want you to think.
Yeah, that's what they want you to think.
Dayton, Florida.
No, but in reality, this chemtrail thing is crazy.
One of the best parts about these idiotic conspiracy theories is like, why the fuck would they be testing it in Dayton, Florida?
They're the most susceptible.
Yeah, what are you doing in Dayton, Florida that the government needs to deal with somehow with smart dust?
Well, same.
It was in New Jersey first after the drones.
And the drones look like typically correct angels or something.
I don't know.
I got on the wrong side of TikTok.
I'll tell you that.
Yeah, TikTok is melting your brain.
That's not what I was talking about.
I was talking about real time.
I didn't believe it for the rest of the day.
In New Orleans, there was an attack.
There was a terror attack.
I think much more to do.
14 people, 14 people killed.
What the hell?
I had to keep scrolling.
This kept popping up on my thing.
That's avoidance.
No, I'm like, I have entered a point in my life where like I first of all, I stopped and I paused and I paid respect.
And I said prayers.
No, I did.
I did positive thoughts.
No, I'm serious.
I did because it's an awful tragedy.
Why are you guys laughing?
It's an awful, awful tragedy.
I think it's crazy how numb we've gotten.
No, it's an awful tragedy.
And my heart aches.
Like the light, like life is so scary and so depressing to see this stuff.
Like I saw the plane crash and I went, huh?
Yes, I know.
That's horrible.
But the terrorist attack, I said, no, I took a moment.
I was like, this is awful, but that's all I could do.
He took a moment.
He took a moment.
That's all I could do.
He took a moment and he said thoughts and prayers.
I was like, oh, yeah.
You look at the Jesus nativity scene and he said, baby Jesus, save us from our situation.
I haven't been on the internet.
What happened?
Oh, gosh.
A guy by the name of, I'm not going to butcher his name right now.
Shamshdin Jabbar, who is an American military veteran, had a string of financial troubles in the first divorce, and then he got remarried and then got his second divorce.
And apparently he became increasingly isolated and went crazy mode.
And he filmed himself traveling from Texas to New Orleans.
And in the process, he said he openly revealed that he decided to gather his whole family and execute them, but then chose to join ISIS instead.
Oh.
Which is insane.
Anyways, but he carefully concocted this plan.
He had apparently IEDs, improvised explosive devices that he had set up in coolers and placed around Bourbon Street.
And then he took, he rented out a Ford F-150 Lightning.
It's an EV version.
And he crossed the police barrier on Bourbon Street and just drove into a crowd, got out of the car.
The car had an ISIS flag that was upside down and the flagpole in the back of it.
Okay.
He got out of the car with a weapon, started shooting, and then the cops shot him and killed him, leading to 14 innocent civilians dying and also Jabbar dying as well.
It's a really weird story because of the reasons that I just mentioned.
It's like it's out of nowhere.
This guy's just like, ISIS is not like a real entity anymore.
You know what I mean?
It's not like a real thing.
And he like basically went, there was a police brigade.
Yeah, that's our healthcare system failing us.
There was a police like wall and he like cut around them and like went on the sidewalk around the cars because they were anticipating this type of thing could happen.
Well, they clearly weren't anticipating it hard enough because they took out the things that stop normally bull.
What is it called?
Bulliard or whatever?
Wait, that used to be there and they took it.
Yeah, they took him out.
They put a cop car there and they didn't have it on the they didn't also have it on the sidewalk anyway.
So we just cut through the sidewalk.
So the majority of people die from his gun or from his car?
Same from the car.
Yeah, that makes sense.
It's fucking.
The same thing happened in Vegas, like however many years ago.
People just had to.
And there's been multiple times in Europe too.
Yeah.
And stuff like that.
It happened a week ago in Europe.
What I was saying.
At the Christmas market.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
A week ago?
Or like a week and a half ago.
What I'm saying is.
You scrolled too fast on that one.
You didn't give thoughts and prayers.
No, go back in time.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful.
No, I'm just, I'm literally saying that I just, I just, I, it's just so overwhelming.
It is, I have to go.
Okay.
Another thing that I'm saying.
I don't think it's healthy.
Is that controversial of me to say I don't think it's healthy to sit there?
I totally agree with you.
Another thing that happened was there was a cyber truck.
Okay, this was not related.
Crap.
That is not related.
At least as of now, they're looking to see if it's an isolated incident or not.
Seemingly it is isolated.
Cybertrunk is outside of Trump Tower in Las Vegas and it just explodes.
The lights on fire and it explodes.
Fireworks.
Intentionally?
Seems that the initial investigations found out that there were fireworks and gasoline in the back.
I mean, sometimes what if your car runs out of battery?
But the story doesn't end there.
Did this guy survive?
That was right next to him.
I don't want to watch the guy die.
No, nobody dies except for the guy who's in the car.
There's a guy in the car?
Yes.
Even the people in the front car didn't die?
Nobody died.
Except for the guy in the car.
This guy books it.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
So those explosives, those secondary explosions people think are lithium batteries, but it's obviously sparkly.
So it's clearly fireworks as well.
And so they found this trunk full of gasoline and things of that nature, right?
Then it gets a little bit weirder.
Okay.
Sorry, I had to open the door.
I think you're here.
Then the story gets a little bit weirder.
We find out early this morning, the police revealed that the guy had...
a assault rifle in the car and a Desert Eagle 50 caliber.
What's what's that?
Okay, like a pistol, it's kind of like this gun, but not a revolver, but a desert eagle, it's a.
Usually guns like this have the same caliber, it's very big.
And the police also revealed that he had shot himself before the explosion.
Well, somehow they still do not know how he detonated the explosives wait.
So why would he have a gun on him to blow up a car in front of the?
We don't know what his motives were.
There is uh, some speculation floating around that he might have a manifesto.
But the story gets even weirder.
Okay, he was an army special force, green beret.
What does that mean?
Means he's?
You know, he's a doorbuster.
He does a lot of special operations.
He was stationed in Germany, was on leave, he was in Colorado and he drove from Colorado to Las Vegas.
And we still do not know what his motives were.
But he was a massive Trump supporter independent, went to his family, march.
Can you pull that up?
Why would he why?
Why are Trump supporters committing crimes against Trump?
Seemingly one what?
Yeah, I don't know.
They're just.
What is going on?
So smart dust, it's a smart dust.
Um no uh, a family of Matthew yeah, his name is Also Loves Lives for Burger, which is crazy.
That's kind of a hype.
The most American last name you can get from Lives for Burger man, that's a cool last name was a rambler.
The reason why yeah, this is it okay.
So the Independent article starts off with cyber truck blast.
Cyber truck blast suspect was a Rembot.
Who Love Trump.
Family says yeah, there's a choice coat in here that on Nate.
They read to you, it's the Independent, it's a British publication.
That's why i'm doing the accent.
I thought keep going down a little bit like you were stimulating from now on.
All right.
So his family members said uh, Matt was a very skilled warrior and he would be able to make if it was him and if he did this, he would have been able to make a more sophisticated explosive than using propane tanks and camping fuel.
He was what you might call a super soldier.
If you ever read about the things he was awarded and the experience he had, some of it doesn't make sense.
When he had the skills and ability to make something more, let's say efficient, his skills were enormous from what he had been taught in the military with Liilsberger's skills.
His uncle suggested his nephew could Have fashioned a bomb that would have obliterated half of that hotel if he seriously wanted to hurt others.
They're fantasizing.
Think of Oklahoma City, he said.
McVay was just a normal soldier, Timothy McVay.
Not a tier one operator like Timothy McVay, Timothy McVay, Oklahoma City Bombardier.
When was that?
1993.
Yeah.
Here I was born.
So I just thought it was really odd that his family were like, nah, dude, that's not my Matthew.
So they, if my Matthew wanted to kill people, he would have killed way more people.
So they think that he got killed and then put in the truck?
I mean, listen, I'm not saying anything, except I wanted to hear what your speculation is.
I don't know about this besides the smart dust.
I kept scrolling.
Uh-huh.
Because I was like, I can't.
You guys are no fun.
You don't even want to entertain any conspiracies.
Well, I'm afraid of grasping them.
I have to say that.
Because Cutie and I have a disease where we think we would have been there.
We would have been there.
We could have.
Right?
Nobody died.
I know.
But the guy in the car did.
But you would have been in the car?
You were 18 years.
What if we were there?
You're an 18-year career military veteran, Special Force.
What if we were the guy with the luggage, but we were closer?
Wait.
And we're like, ooh, it's not.
No, there was a valley that was right next to it.
We love Cybertrucks.
You would have looked inside the windows.
Okay.
Okay.
So how would he have been placed in the vehicle?
It would have been on camera, correct?
We don't know.
But that was on camera.
Wouldn't it have been on camera?
I know.
If he was placed in the vehicle after being shot in the head.
So how did the car get?
How did they know he was shot in the head if he exploded?
I don't know.
That's what they're saying.
They've recovered.
According to the autopsy, they recovered the guns and everything else.
The gun was like literally on the bottom, like in between his legs.
Oh.
Okay, that makes more sense.
So he might have done something to turn on the thing or whatever.
And then shot himself.
Why would he do it?
Maybe he just was trying to.
They haven't found a manifesto or anything from him?
Not yet.
They're saying that there is a manifesto.
Was he trying to celebrate the victory?
Go out with a bang?
I mean, he didn't kill anybody.
And it was right in front of Trump Tower if he built it.
Yeah, maybe he wanted to.
Apparently, it's everyone is celebrating Cybertruck for exploding upwards and keeping the blast contained because it was such a strong, it has such a strong chassis and a strong structure.
Elon Musk has been doing victory laps about it, which I thought was very weird.
Also, we found out that the car had internally locked itself in the process.
So that's weird.
So when you're caught on fire inside of a Tesla, it locked itself.
Pray to God that you got a Desert Eagle so he can, you know, take yourself out fast.
That's what I think might be the case.
Guy wants to go out on a weekend trip with the boys, brings his favorite guns, goes from Colorado to Las Vegas.
I mean, it's New Year's.
Yeah, he's a big Trump supporter, brought fireworks, brought him up.
Wait, so you'd think it was an accident.
And the car is, you know, accidentally electrical short circuit, which, you know, Tesla, cyber trucks do have a tendency to have stuff like that happen.
And then he notices that it's like lit on fire, quickly grabs a gun, kills himself before being immolated in the explosion.
Barracuda Explosion Spectacle00:13:42
No way.
Maybe.
Because he's locked in.
Yeah, because he locked in and taken out of the fucking car.
But didn't the car blow into pieces?
Oh, but he would have been blown up.
Maybe he, maybe it exploded.
But wouldn't he shoot at the window first and then crawl out the window?
Yeah.
But maybe he was on fire and then he killed himself.
Maybe he survived the blast.
No, I mean, you look at the blast, I feel like it's too.
I mean, I don't know much about Blast, but that guy survived next to him.
I don't know anything about Blast.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I just kept scrolling.
That's so scary.
I look, I have, I didn't, I just couldn't take it.
I was like, I need to get back on Vikings Twitter.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, the world is too sad.
I don't know how you do your job.
You talk about the sadness for hours.
I'm pretty crazy.
You're lucky you don't have depression.
You would have been gone by.
Yeah, you would have been completely gone.
Yeah.
So we're going to Japan on January 23rd.
Congrats.
Right, allegedly.
He's very excited.
But I have to tell you something.
You all something.
The Minnesota Vikings.
Uh-oh.
The Minnesota Vikings are one game away.
And if they win the next game, there is a chance that I will not be attending Japan until later.
Gasp.
Because the minister.
Whoa, whoa, act sad.
Whoa, act sad.
You were hurting his feelings.
Okay.
Well, hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
That was mean.
That was really mean.
Yeah.
Last year.
You know what you did?
Last year, you guys begged me to come to Japan.
Yeah, this is post that trip.
You weren't on your best behavior, but I forgive you.
I had a first of all, now I can say it.
I had a breakup.
He had a breakup.
I had a breakup.
He had a freaking breakup.
And I was buying a piece of property.
And he was buying a piece of property.
And I couldn't be in this.
Wait, wasn't it on fire or something?
No, I couldn't close it.
And there was a fire.
I had to give my dad power of attorney to close on it.
Because he was stressed.
Yeah, because it wasn't your best friend.
No, I was going through a breakup.
It wasn't his best self.
Now everybody knows the secret.
I was going through a breakup and everybody was giving me shit.
No, you were.
You were going through a breakup, but you were out of control.
I was fine.
I was out of control.
It's fine.
Also, I'm joking.
I'm joking.
I would be devastated if you didn't show up on time.
Good save.
He's lying.
I would be so sad.
He's back to being me.
I don't know how I would be able to wash away my sadness with fantastic.
You know, it's cutie was right.
I hope that happens to your plane.
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to show up to your funeral.
I'm going to be like, I told you so.
And then Murat's going to be like, I don't know.
The plane shouldn't do that.
And I'll be like, what if Murat's on the plane?
No, he won't be on the plane.
He's going to take a separate flight.
It's like the president.
You can't have two bikers on the same plane.
I know Cutie be freaked out about that shit, too.
There's like multiple bikers on the same flight.
I thought about it.
I'm like, I will not fly with Hassan.
What?
There got to be a bad thing.
Would you fly with me?
Yeah, but I'm also nervous.
Why?
Wait, why won't you be on a flight with me?
They want to take you out.
That's they could just kill me here.
Yeah, but a flight is more inconsistent.
No, it's not.
It would kill hundreds of other people.
They don't care.
Yes, they.
If someone wants to murder me, like, they would probably do it here.
Okay, well, just know if you're them.
You would prefer it to not be a player.
But they won't be because I have state-of-the-art protection.
He does have an emote.
And crocodiles.
And tigers.
And bears.
Oh, my God.
And bears.
Speaking of which, I have a story.
Okay.
Do you have anything more?
Marsh, what are we at?
Do you have do you have anything?
Stop thinking you're cool for that.
It's not cool.
Yeah, you're early every time by like 10 minutes.
I don't know why you think you're...
What is he doing?
The same thing when you finish early in sex, you just start spinning your thing.
You're like, yeah, I did it faster this time.
He definitely thinks that.
Yeah, I know.
Look at him.
And then he's proud of it.
Yeah, he's just like, just like Lud.
Just like me and Lumbo.
Babe, I saved us five minutes.
We can finish.
Okay, this is literally.
You're just talking about Ludwig now.
I'm sorry.
Because I've heard him tell me before.
It's like, you got to be fast, dude.
No, he has not said that.
Yes, he has.
Has he bragged about that?
I mean, he's joking.
I don't know why you.
Now you're making it seem like he wasn't.
No, no, he's always joking.
Don't worry about it.
Okay.
What do you got about witches?
No, it's New Year's Eve.
Oh, okay.
So I get invited to this party.
Gay New Year's Eve.
Gay New Year's Eve.
Well, I get invited to buy a ticket to this party.
What?
What?
It's a ticketed event.
It's called Barracuda.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Okay.
And I get invited to this, to buy a ticket to this event.
I'm like, Barracuda?
Sounds like a fun, it's like a gay party.
Sounds like bears.
Well, I didn't know that.
How?
It's called Barracuda.
I know.
I didn't realize.
I didn't realize that until I got there.
I was like, oh, my God.
I think I'm more gay than you sometimes.
I saw a ticket to a Barracuda and you thought that you would see anything but bears?
I was like Barracuda.
It kind of sounds like a gay name.
Barracuda.
Like, that's a gay name.
Bear.
Bear heart.
No, then it would have been Barracuda without the B-E-A-R.
So in hindsight, it's 2020.
Okay.
Okay.
It was a bear party.
You should have asked your straight friends.
Well, I walk in and I'm like, oh, my God, there's a lot of bears here.
And I walk in.
First sign was there was a bear, like a little bear.
And it says, eat my ass.
And it was like a bear.
Craziest fucking party I've ever been to.
Bears everywhere.
Naked people on the stage.
What?
Crazy.
Were they playing gay porn?
No, the porn was happening on the stage.
Austin, at some point, you stole my water.
I'll get you another one.
Fine.
There was a guy with the biggest penis I've ever seen.
I took a selfie with him.
What?
With his face or penis?
No, with his penis.
A group of us got in and got a picture with it.
It was crazy.
There were people dancing.
You know what?
We had the best time.
Never again, but we had the best time.
Oh, my God.
Great time.
It was extremely not my thing.
I saw on Twitter there was a gay party, gay newsy party, where they were just straight up playing gay porn on the ceiling through a projector.
That was on my feed, too.
Yeah.
That video was like, that was an iconic gay video.
No.
I didn't understand.
What is the significance of that gay video?
It's just like everybody knows it.
All the gays know it.
Everybody's seen it.
Two girls, one cup.
Yeah, yeah.
The gay video on the ceiling.
Yeah.
So, um, so anyway, I go to this party.
I know.
I know what Barracuda means.
That's all I fucking know.
No, I didn't see it.
No, she didn't.
She's just talking.
I invented gay pop before JoJo Seba.
Okay.
And by the way, am I blowing secrets for the gay community?
I'm like, am I like outing the gay community here for like these parties?
Everybody knows.
No, straight people go to sex parties too.
Okay.
But there was, there were, there were people, dancers on stage, and people would go up and just like start sucking the guys.
It's crazy.
What are you making that face for?
Homophobic.
That's kooky bean.
Homophobic.
That's it right there.
You don't go to a strip club and start sucking on the women's attendees or other performers.
You just attendees.
That's why it's crazy.
It's unsanitary.
I know, but I was like, I was sad.
You don't go to a real life.
You don't go to a strip club and you start going, oh yeah, you get some pussy lips.
I know, but it was a spectacle.
That's interesting.
I got attacked by a bear.
What do you mean?
I was like dancing with my friends and all of a sudden I felt the hand on my back.
I was like, oh my God, what's happening?
And I look behind me and I just see hair and I'm like, oh my God, what's going on?
And I was like, is he behind me?
They're like, yes.
Still behind me?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
And I felt like him growing.
He's not an animal.
He's not a real bear.
He's not a real bear.
No, it was like a bear, like a bear, like in the set in the gay sense.
Like a bear.
No, we know.
But you could just turn to him and say, hey.
I didn't.
I'm never in that situation.
So he started grabbing my butt and I had to get boxed in by you got sexually harassed.
Well, I mean, yeah.
It's a gay bar.
I mean, look, so he grabs my butt and it gets boxed in.
And then one of my twink friends is like, no.
It's like, no.
He's actually an animal.
No, he just said, no, he's not available.
Okay.
And then I was like, they boxed me in.
Okay.
And then he came back for another.
He came out like two or three times.
And it's a gay bar.
One New Year.
It was a, I was a bear.
I was attacked by a bear.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, I had a great time.
Great New Year's.
A few vodka crayons.
Drama.
Little ketamine.
I'm just kidding.
I didn't do that.
You would never.
I would never.
I would never do drugs.
That's so funny.
That's crazy.
You have to.
You're not gay enough if you don't do ket.
I mean, a lot of people were doing drugs around me.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't do it.
Gay people are innovative with their cocktails.
Like, they're on the next shit.
I don't even know if people are still doing ketamine.
They're probably doing some new shit that we don't even know about.
Smart dust.
Hit the streets in a year or so.
They're smart in it.
Do you think that was a secret party that I exposed?
No, if you bought a ticket, no.
Was it like on Eventbrite?
No, it was out there.
It was on Eventbrite, but it was sold out.
So I had to go on a secondhand market and buy it.
You were hungry for some bear dick, dude.
I'm sorry.
You literally went in there.
I'm seeing if I can find the archive of it.
You went in.
You're hungry.
You can use my phone.
So, yeah, next year, you just got to go to Twinkakuda.
That's what you got to do.
No, they'd call it something more cloudy.
Look, here's the other deal, by the way.
2025 for me is the year of the jock.
Explain.
I like, this is what frustrates me: a lot of, I have missed, I've talked about like liking twinks when I found out that like twinks are actually like skinny with no muscle men.
I like men with muscle.
But not like my level of muscle.
You have a lot going on.
You want like you want someone.
I like muscle.
Like Cristiano Ronaldo.
Yeah.
Who's like shredded?
Yeah, like shredded.
I do.
He's still skinny, though.
Yeah, but like what I'm saying is like, I think people, what annoys me is people think that I just like like men that are just like bony and skinny.
Which is like, hey, if you're bony and skinny, that's up.
Hey, more power to see.
I saw this is another tweet I saw.
I was like, Coddling with a twink is like laying on a remote.
Is that true?
Can you confirm?
Most of the men that I have been with historically, I like men with muscle.
Oh my God, what is happening?
I found other bearracudas.
It's like a thing.
There's one.
Austin, there's no way you saw.
March, can you screenshot this?
March, pull up.
Bear Rakuda Event Bride.
Here, I'll just send you the link, Marge.
Show us, please, the listeners, the watchers, how Austin did not understand that this was a bears-only event.
I don't know.
It is Austin.
What was on the flyer?
I didn't look at the flyer.
Dude, there are bears all over the flyer.
I didn't look at the flyer.
But you know what?
I had a great time.
Yeah, of course.
I had a great time.
Scroll down.
Oh, but what do you think they're selling here?
Honestly, I may go back to another one.
Why not?
If it was fun.
A dad, Safari.
What?
How fun is this?
That's fun.
Caught Uncle.
Oh, my God.
Hot Uncle Denver.
That Santa needs something else to do when it's not going to be a good one.
Wait, go down to DJ Tony Moran and right-click.
I want to see it blown out.
Atlanta, the Atlanta one.
He wants to see the event details.
Oh, baby.
Okay, look, I didn't know until I got.
Wait, give me the details.
Go scroll down.
9 p.m.
You know what?
I love bears.
We could go.
I love bears.
Wait, is there one in LA?
No.
They're probably.
Seattle, Portland.
No, Denver.
We're happy there.
No, they're awesome.
There was so much.
What I loved about it, there was so much body positivity going on there.
Everybody was out.
I was the skinny fuck talking about body positivity.
What?
It was not fine.
Dude, this is your fat shaming is your gayest trade.
I'm not fat shaming.
Okay.
What?
Oh, so much body positivity at the bear event.
What?
There's nothing wrong with body positivity.
We will address Austin's body shaming.
I have my shirt off.
Ooh.
Yeah, of course you were flexing.
I was not flexing in front of all the bears.
We will address Austin's misdeeds behind the paywall at patreon.com slash fearan.
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, and babies, for watching us on yet another banger episode.
And we'll see you behind the paywall at patreon.com slash fearan.
Peace.
You and I should have a talk right now now that Hassan and Will's not here to defend himself.
You know what?
Hassan is a fucking diva.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not surprised.
He calls me a diva for how much I get on a plane every week.