HasanAbi and the Fear & Loathing crew navigate a chaotic Thanksgiving, debating gender segregation after Cutie Cinderella's exclusion and dissecting her controversial social media posts alongside Complex Influential Streamer rankings. They analyze Martha Stewart's Netflix documentary regarding her infidelity and tax evasion, contrasting U.S. tax complexity with Norway's system while speculating on 988 hotline funding. The episode concludes with gratitude for the Minnesota Vikings and jobs, teasing a new Thursday schedule and co-host announcement amidst Black Friday banter. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Thanksgiving Debate Tradition00:14:26
You invited her to Thanksgiving.
You didn't invite me to Thanksgiving?
No.
He goes, we start each each, like, the tradition is we do a debate.
And I was like, that sounds awful.
No, you're not supposed to be a part of that.
That's Thanksgiving.
That's separate.
That's only men.
Yeah.
I'm done with both of you guys.
I'm done.
I am done with both of you.
Okay.
What a great.
That's right.
This is how we're starting the Thanksgiving episode.
Do you understand?
I wish Will Neff was here.
I miss him a lot.
Okay.
Anyway, he died of a self-suck injury.
I'm a songpiker here with me with Austin Show and Cutie Cinderella.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Who is, of course, 20 minutes late to the recording of this episode.
Thanksgiving tomorrow.
She was cooking for homeless people.
This is my Olympics.
Yeah.
She was cooking.
She was too busy cooking.
You know what she wasn't?
Wait, were you cooking?
Slime.
Yeah.
You want to know what she wasn't cooking?
The cookies that you promised you were going to make us last week.
I literally was like, oh, she's late, but like, she'll probably.
I'll be honest, I don't throw rocks from glass houses, so I think you're perfect.
I forgot.
He's crazy.
I also forgot your birthday present.
Oh, fuck.
Now I'm mad.
I also forgot the last part of Will's underwear present.
I forgot everything.
You spent the last five hours cooking for other people and you forgot your freaking podcast co-hosts.
What the hell?
You guys can come to Thanksgiving if you want.
I would love to, but I'm busy.
I have a Thanksgiving.
I have my own Thanksgiving, which I.
I have family.
Yeah, I have family.
That would be nice.
I have my own Thanksgiving, which I invited Cutie Cinderella to, but I'm actually uninviting her.
You invited her to Thanksgiving.
You didn't invite me to Thanksgiving?
No.
He goes, we start each, like, the tradition is we do a debate.
And I was like, that sounds awful.
No, you're not supposed to be a part of that.
That's Thanksgiving.
That's separate.
That's only men.
I don't understand.
I thought he has a segregated Thanksgiving.
I thought dinner started with a debate.
You can segregate by gender too, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
Men and women sit at opposite ends of the table.
Yeah.
Isn't that right?
Yeah, I want cutie to feel welcome, like, you know, in her Mormon ways.
Yeah.
That's how it happens in Mormon Thanksgiving, right?
No.
Well, the women stay in the kitchen.
Do they wear the garments at Thanksgiving?
They wear the garments all the time.
I actually tried for the, this is a leak, but it's fine because whatever.
Yeah.
I tried to, for Will's brawn underwear present, I tried to get bootleg garments, but I couldn't.
They're actually really hard to buy.
Oh, really?
They're great, but like, wait, like you, like secondhand market.
Yeah.
Like, haven't been blessed by Mitt Romney.
No, you have to, well, you have to, when they're blessed, you have to buy them from the temple store, which you have to have a temple recommend in order to buy them.
Damn.
But I will say it.
You haven't got that Temple Connect no more?
Oh, no.
I don't recommend it anymore.
But any Mormon frogs out there that want to make a few bucks, upload them onto eBay, dude.
Do you think the garments are made in America?
Or do you think they export them?
Do you think they're imported?
That's a great question.
I don't think the Mormons are.
I don't think they're made in America.
I don't think they care.
I think they're trying to make a bug.
I don't know why I asked.
I just thought that was.
I've a gripe with you, too.
What's that?
Typical.
Eating all the freaking fruits on the kitchen counter on Thanksgiving, eating my Thanksgiving family's food.
Okay.
They're going to be suffering on that.
Okay, here's the deal.
They're going to be starving.
I walk into Hassan's house.
Socialism.
Yes.
I walk into Hassan's house, cutie.
There is an elaborate Roman-style fruit spread on the counter.
Oh my God.
Grapes, oranges, apples.
Wow.
Tangerines.
My mom made it.
Beautiful purple grapes, green grapes.
I mean, just every fruit, strawberries, every fruit you could think of on the counter.
I'm hungry.
Yeah.
Right.
So you actually have insatiable appetite.
Yes, I do.
It's impossible to quench your thirst.
You're right.
So I was like, maybe just one grape.
Nobody will know.
Nobody will know.
So like 20 minutes later, I've eaten like 50 to 100 grapes at this point.
I looked at the spread and there's like a noticeable air.
Like there's a noticeable invisible part.
I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't thinking.
I was just, I just kept eating and not doing it.
So Hassan says, like a fucking 12-year-old, he's like, I'm going to tell my mom.
Yeah.
As we said, he's like, like a 12-year-old, like little brother, like a little bitch.
Did he tell?
Yes.
He tells his mom.
Did he get in trouble?
I hear her in the, I hear her, I hear him telling, tattling outside the room, telling his mom.
And you know what she says?
That's fine.
Oh.
And then she proceeds to give me more food that they're going to be serving at Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
I've got mac and cheese waiting out there that I'm going to warm up.
It's messed up.
I'm going to warm up during halftime.
Wait, why is it messed up?
I wish she was homophobic.
No.
Your mom is such an ally.
I've been trying to get her to be homophobic.
I've just been telling her, like, you know, Austin lies all the time.
He's just a bad guy.
Austin loves lying.
Yeah.
But that's true, though.
That's not even.
I'm not even lying.
You lie all the time.
He's so responsible.
Like, remember the men as trash thing?
Yeah.
Well, the Fear Ann account, like, put it.
They made that.
They were like, not all men.
Yeah.
And people were like, not all men.
Right.
But then they were like, doesn't Austin realize he's a part of that group?
Hassan is paying for me.
You're a man.
No, that is trash.
Evidently.
Like, I, they put me.
You are trash.
Well, I fundamentally disagree.
I'm sorry.
You don't get a chance.
I agree.
No.
Yeah, you are trash.
Wait, are we all trash?
Yeah.
Oh.
So even though we say it's not all men, we mean it.
Oh, it is all men.
Okay.
You're all trash.
You all have left the seat open once, huh?
Yeah, this feminism thing is you got to cut it out.
You know, Trump is president.
On an airplane today.
Oh my God.
I had to clean up a lot of mess in that bathroom.
You shit in the airplane.
No, somebody before me pissed everywhere.
What?
No, no.
Here's the deal.
That's when you tattletell.
In a public restroom, though.
I go out in the plane.
I say, excuse me, who was just in here?
That's Yuck.
I know.
See, you would have done that.
Is it you?
Yuck.
No, I wouldn't.
What if it was a turbulence situation?
I wouldn't be on a plane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What if it was a turbulent situation?
And my man just had his hog out.
I was on the plane.
There was no turbulence.
Maybe you were just oblivious.
Regardless, I had to clean it up because I cannot have the entire plane thinking I was the one that did that.
Yeah, I've done that before.
I have to clean it.
Or sometimes I will like I've been in a bathroom before there's like a line because it's women.
So there's always a line bathroom.
And you go in there, it smells so bad.
And then you're like, fuck, when I leave, they're going to think I did it.
Yes.
So I walk out and I go, I'm so sorry.
It stinks in there.
I promise it's not me.
I'm not just saying that.
Did you say that to me?
To be fair, you say I'm not just saying that.
I would assume that you did it.
I know, but at least I said something.
No, you got to do this.
You got to do this thing.
Or it's like, I hate how bad this bathroom smells.
You know, I would think that was you.
Something like that.
It's so nonchalant.
Yeah.
He gets away with it because I'm probably just like, oh my God.
Yeah.
He's so hot.
They don't care.
Nobody hears anything that's like.
Can I say something?
I'm feeling objectified.
Oh, yeah.
I'm feeling.
I'm so sorry.
I'm feeling objectified.
This guy.
This week has been a mess.
You feed it.
Don't act like you don't feed it.
This week.
Oh, I'm asking for it.
What was I wearing?
The answer.
Your panties.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
You're posting photos with your panties and caulk out.
Of us were minding our own business going about our day when we open our social media and monitors off.
We open our social media joking, I don't care okay collectively, and it's the first thing that all of us see.
Yeah, and it's this photo.
What is that?
Wait, what was it?
I don't know what that was?
Andrew Tan and them.
It's this photo on our freaking timeline.
Don't feel appropriate to look at.
So when I posted this, I did not think that the meat was going to be the prominent picture of this post.
No fucking way.
Dude, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm not looking.
Oh, you can't look at the internet.
I don't want to make eye contact with that.
I know it's your cock is in the center of the image.
Okay, listen.
Come the fuck on.
You don't think you're meat bull shit.
Shame.
No.
Shame.
No.
Shame.
For me, I was like, own it.
It's 2024.
We're bringing Slutshammer back.
I played basketball that morning.
Okay.
Had some victories over Mike from the Crash Dummies podcast.
Okay.
And I was like, you know what?
I haven't taken a progress pick in a while.
Let's see.
You know, let's match it up.
Let's see what it looks like.
And I took that photo and I was trying to flex, you know, my obliques and stuff.
You know, just trying to hit that pose.
And I did not think that, you know, the prominent.
Did you look at the photo?
Come on.
It's going to be people wear underwear like that all the time.
Hassan.
They wear speedos.
Hassan.
Why is that the point of contention here?
Are you kidding me?
Just start in OnlyFans.
Hassan, are you fucking?
Do you know how much money you could have made off that photo?
You could have saved 20 homeless.
Yeah, you're impacting my business, Hassan.
You could have sent people to college.
Yeah.
Can I tell you, QD, I tried to post a thirst trap to promote my fans lead that day.
And people like, it was like a day of like, we had, like, you couldn't post a thirst trap.
It was a no-fly zone.
It was like a no-fly zone.
He posted a thirst trap.
100% of the responses were, oh, you had to do it because Hassan did it today.
100%.
Okay.
It wasn't even a reply to it.
Every group chat I was in.
Really?
With gay men was losing their minds.
Dude, I'm not enough.
I'm not friends enough with enough normal people that like know Hassan.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't have like normies coming up to me, but like, I didn't, this sounds crazy.
I didn't know how much the internet genuinely thirsts over you until I went on TikTok on not my account.
And all of a sudden, my For You page is just people kicking their feet on bed talking about Hassan.
And I was like, what is happening?
And they're not even showing photos of him.
They're just talking about him and mentioning his name.
And it's getting shot.
They don't know what you do either.
Yeah.
They know what I do.
No.
I was talking to a guy just yesterday.
And he's like, oh, who's Hassan?
Is he that hot guy on your podcast?
No idea who you were.
Yeah.
You're lying.
I swear to God.
You're lying.
I swear to God, I'll read you the message right now.
They replace your voice from like the teachers from like Arthur.
You know the...
That's Charlie Brown.
You know the noise.
You guys are objectifying me.
I'm a political commentator.
I was on CNN this week.
Yeah, nobody gives a shit.
Look at that cock out there in the open.
I'm not looking.
I honestly haven't made eye contact with it.
I don't know how much it's showing.
Is it showing a lot?
Not really.
It's not.
I'll be honest.
I'm a little disappointed.
It's not.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'll be honest.
Like, you should have.
I'll be honest.
Like, you could have fluffed it up a little bit more.
I didn't care to because it wasn't like a people zooming into it.
I don't know.
Don't say you don't know.
Come on.
There was not a moment when you're in the middle.
I posted a photo in my panties with the fattest camel toe in the world.
Do you think it would be normal to be able to do that?
Pose it a progress pic of yourself to be like, Oh, look at like where I'm at two years after my fitness journey, and people were like, Damn, girl, I've like that camel's purring.
Yeah, exactly.
I would defend you.
I'd be like, My queen, that's your camel toe looks great, and everyone is being mean and tell you that your cock looks great and everyone's being mean to you.
No, you don't have to say the first part, you can say the second part.
Everyone's being so mean to you.
Everyone is objectifying you.
Show them your penis a little bit.
Everyone is objectifying you, is what I'm saying.
That sucks, and I would defend you.
I would defend you, dude.
I was your outfits have gotten out of control.
Sorry to cut you off.
They're very good.
Wait, wait.
This is two episodes in a row.
You're bringing banger after banger.
It's kind of crazy.
What is this called?
Herringbone?
Yeah.
It looks great on you.
What?
Great pattern.
You look great.
Oh, my God.
Minus the fact that you got struck by a tornado.
It's important.
I don't know what happened with the top of your dome.
This is what just happens.
But everything else is struck by a bomb cyclone on the way.
You guys were like, why was she late?
That's why there was a bombing in Nantucket.
I didn't make it.
Jinx, yo, me a Coke.
No, we can't do Coke anymore.
Jinx, you owe me a Pepsi.
Yeah, BDS.
Boycott, the best minute and sanctions actually in chat.
Coke is BDS, but Pepsi is BDSM.
Ooh.
Hear that?
Everyone's into it.
Yeah.
I've heard.
It's true.
Okay, very good.
If you meet at a Denny's on Hollywood Boulevard, they'll tell you all about it.
Tuesday, 7 p.m., be there.
Probably true.
Okay, but you know, draw this chapter to a close.
You know, the objectification, don't stop it.
I love it.
It's great.
Such a slow.
See, I knew it.
We moved on and you brought it back.
Can I tell?
I was in a group chat, and I, and I quote, somebody said they posted your photo, and this guy responded, and he said they would have to surgically remove my mouth from his cock.
I love how creative people get.
Jesus, it's not just like, yeah, Yaza, like, humming a humana.
It's just like, they say the most insane shit.
Yeah, it was insane.
Someone said, someone, I posted on my Instagram.
I was like, I'll pull his pants down and show him America another 9-11 or something.
What does that even mean?
I don't even know.
I didn't even know.
She's bringing down the Twin Towers.
Yes.
There's only one, I assume.
Yeah, there's only one now.
There's only one Freedom Tower now.
Yeah.
Oh, you don't know what it is.
Insane Stream Stories00:05:06
Well, yeah, that's it.
That's the new 9-11.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Maybe I thought it was a dimension.
I love the creativity, but we've got a workshop.
Yeah, we got a workshop.
Okay.
Well, no, no, it's on that front.
These smell good.
Yeah, that's probably smelling a lot better than Austin's balls.
Yeah.
Come on, guys.
They both smell.
Before he actually used this unique and different product.
That's Mando.
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It's created by a doctor.
I'm going to use it on a Gooch.
You can use it.
Not mine, but any that I find in life.
You can do that.
You can spray Mando on random Gucci's, as a matter of fact.
I'm going to do it.
My balls don't stink.
Yeah.
It doesn't anymore because he's got Mando.
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Mando's really great.
I just don't smell.
I want to.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Smell fresher.
Stay drier.
And you won't smell bad just like Austin and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando.
Yeah, it was like a friend that I sleep with sometimes.
I'm glad you paid him with sexual favors.
Yeah.
What about your L of the week?
My L of the week is I can't fucking sleep.
Oh, I hate that feeling.
I cannot sleep.
I don't know what it is.
I've been taking like, I'm taking so many different pills, and none of them are working.
Do you have to wake up early?
No.
Why the fuck would you have to wake up early?
By the gym at 9 a.m. sometimes, but I did, I drank it.
I drank a Diet Coke at like 9:30 at night the other night.
So how many days have you gone without sleeping?
I've slept.
I just like sleep and then I wake up and I'm like, did I sleep?
Oh.
Like that.
It's like not restful.
Yeah.
And I've been taking vitamins lately and I'm thinking maybe my body's like staying awake because I'm getting so many vitamins.
That's cold.
I don't think that's how it folks.
What time are you taking your vitamins?
I started, I would like middle of the day.
I would take them in the morning.
Yeah, you got to jerk off more.
I do.
Okay.
Why do you cringe at that?
I would say the same to you.
If you were like, I can't sleep, I'd be like, you got to flake the beans, sis.
That's what I would say.
Hate everything that comes out of your mouth most of the time.
So a lot of men, in order to go to sleep, they'll jerk off.
It releases dopamine and relaxes your body.
And you tried that?
I've done it multiple times.
He does it all the time.
He throws on his favorite.
He throws on his favorite World War II documentary and starts cranking all the time.
Come on, dude.
I don't do that.
I actually do, but I pause it and then I. There's no refactory period between the World War II documentary and the cranking, though.
Yeah.
That's okay.
Come on now.
I have no cavities.
That's my W.
Oh, WW.
I went to the doctor, the dentist.
They said I have no cavities and I'm going to get Invisalign.
Oh, you have perfect teeth.
No, I got a little snaggle tooth.
Oh, great.
Where?
Just get it pulled out and put a new one in.
No.
You're rich.
So I'm going to get Invisalign.
That's going to be fun.
And then my L of the week is that my phone like exploded.
Here's a new one.
So this is a new one.
My phone all of a sudden started growing and the battery inside of it was going to explode.
So I didn't have a phone yesterday.
Your phone became an IED.
Yeah, it became a problem.
Wait, that's great.
It just started to swell.
Everyone was like, put that outside.
They were like, get that away.
Like, that is a safety hazard.
Aiden Ross Mainstream Attention00:13:08
I was like, oh, wait, how do you wait, really?
Did it explode?
Did you take it?
It hasn't yet, but it's just sitting outside.
Did you take it in?
Under a thing.
I haven't taken it in.
Wait, did your stream tell you that?
Yeah.
How does that even happen?
I don't know.
I drop it a lot.
It's cracked in a lot of places.
Just bleeding battery.
Yeah, I think so.
Probably.
Judy, you have another W of the week.
What?
You were one of the top most influential streamers on the complex influential streamers list.
I don't know why.
Because you're influential.
Do you think I slept with the right person?
No, because Ludwig?
I don't think so.
I don't think he controls the list.
What number are you?
What number do you think I am?
He's five.
Oh, why are you leaking it?
Because I watched the list.
Who makes this list?
How does it feel that Aiden Ross is a better streamer than you?
PewDiePie.
That's great.
Okay, PewDiePie's number 25.
We'll do this.
Actually, you know what?
Let's do it on Patreon.
No, we can do it now.
I was going to do my W and L.
Okay, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Okay.
Sorry.
We'll come back.
No, it's fine.
We're so excited.
Hassan, we're so excited.
I think nobody wants to hear my Wiggle.
We really want to hear it.
We're so excited.
You got on CNN.
Wait, is that good or bad?
What's the bad one again?
Fox News.
Fox News.
Yeah, that one's.
I got on Fox News as well.
I think he likes all attention.
Yeah.
As long as they don't misconstrue my points, I don't really care.
Okay.
Or misattribute quotes or anything like that.
And I'm happy.
I think my commentary stands on its own.
Yeah, no, you're right.
My W of the week is weak.
I'm sorry.
I got on CNN and they did a, you know, this guy, we wanted him to be the Joe Rogan of the left, but he says he doesn't want that.
You know, they did like a piece on that.
You're the Joe Rogan of the left?
Yeah.
I thought it was slime.
Yeah, he kind of looks more like him, I guess.
Yeah, that's true.
But yeah, they did that.
I was on Fox News.
I also hosted Pod Save America this morning.
What's that?
It's like a podcast for people that like politics.
With weed?
Pod Save America?
Pod Save America.
Pod Pod.
Yeah.
Podcast.
Okay, okay.
Podcast that saves us.
Huge.
She's a hostess with the mostest.
So that was cool.
Okay.
That was a dub.
How many, just gonna.
Okay, what about an L?
Come on.
My L of the Week is, yes, Aiden Ross beat me in the complex list.
Number five's pretty good.
Let's take a look.
25.
PewDiePie.
I didn't even know he streamed.
Yeah.
He does.
He streams on YouTube, doesn't he?
I don't know.
Damn.
Okay.
PewDiePie number 25.
Ninja, that's crazy.
Wait, why?
Because I'm such a big fan and I'm so excited that he's there.
Ray.
Valkyri Ray.
She's incredibly underrated.
I mean, under.
Underappreciated by the story.
Underappreciated.
I think she got robbed for sure.
I think she got robbed.
I also think Nick Pollum actually got robbed too.
I think he should be robbed.
I actually think this is huge for Nick.
I think this is the first time mainstreamed has picked up Nick.
That's a good point, but I think he should be.
They use the worst photo.
Not the first time.
The Israeli media collectively also covered Nick Pollum because I showed him an Ansalah Houthi music video that they talked about on Israeli TV.
Oh.
That could have been any of us.
And on Fox News as well.
Yeah, I don't want to be able to do that.
Could have been any of us watching a video.
Yeah, don't worry.
Sometimes I show you videos.
Sometimes, you know, it makes it the mainstream news.
Okay.
He's gotten some mainstream attention.
Well, congrats, Nick, then.
Yep.
Jinxy.
Also lower than what you would expect.
Ronaldo, also lower than you would expect.
No, this list is look at that.
Can I say lower than you would expect?
No, absolutely not.
But I will say, I've been mean to everyone below me.
I've been saying, ooh, is it cold down?
Yeah, I saw that.
That's why you've rated me.
I've said that to everyone.
I went into Ron's chat and I was like, ooh, the 20.
She's 19.
Talk your shit, Queen.
I do hate that I'm directly after Ludwig.
They're like, come on, God.
I actually think this is like, they did this on the street.
Do you think they're like Ludwig?
Oh, right.
His girlfriend.
I think you deserve to be higher than Ludwig.
I don't think that's a good thing.
I can't believe he's this low on the list.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
I think he's a fantastic streamer.
I think Cutie deserves more than Ludwig.
No, I thought she's too low, and I think he's too low.
Would you place Cutie above Ludwig or below Ludwig?
I would place Cutie above Ludwig.
Oh, so you think Cutie's worse than Ludwig?
No, no, I think she is better.
No, you've already let your position known, misogynist.
No, no, no.
I don't think I'm better.
I mean, no, no.
You're your number better person.
I think Ludwig is a far worse streamer than Cutie Cinderella.
That's not true.
That's what I think, too.
He puts so much more effort in than I do.
No.
Yeah, and yet you still outshine.
Think about it this way.
You're a woman and have had to overcome so much more adversity than he has ever that he could ever imagine.
And he just turns on the camera.
He's white, attractive, a jock, right?
Gabe is laughing.
Gabe is laughing.
He's a jock mention.
But you have had to overcome so many more obstacles.
I would put you above it.
I'd put you at number one.
Hola.
Mayamo Austin.
Y me encanta cutie Cinderella.
Monomi Austin, where did you learn to parlay a Spawnish?
Wow.
Cutie, I'm so happy you'd ask.
Yeah.
I learned a little bit of Spanish from Rosetta Stone.
Wow.
You, little old you, could learn it?
I can't believe that.
Even you could figure it out.
That's true.
Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app.
And it just, what I love about it, cutie, is it truly immerses you in the language you want to learn?
Yeah, I felt like I was in a Spanish-speaking country when I was in the app.
And it's got a lifetime membership with 25 languages.
25.
That's more than you can count to, Hassan.
Yeah, I can't.
I give up after like 13.
Don't put off learning that language.
There's no better time than right now to get started for a short time.
Fear and listeners and get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership holiday special.
This offer will not last long.
Visit www.rosettastone.com slash fear.
That's unlimited access to 25 language cores for the rest of your life.
Redeem your holiday offer at www.rosettastone.com slash fear today for yourself or as a gift that keeps giving.
Wow.
No, that makes no sense.
No, but I genuinely would put you higher in general.
Okay, thanks.
I needed that.
The list gets a little crazy as we get as we move forward.
Amaranth, iconic.
Sorry, it's obligatory.
I'm Dante.
Dante's hype.
I like Dante being here.
Yeah.
Deserved.
It's good.
Iron Mouse also deserved.
Very good.
Yep.
Sketch.
Sketch.
Bruce.
Bruce.
This was a little short.
Does Bruce still stream?
I saw Bruce quit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know why he's.
I thought he quit.
And then this is like, eh, womp, womp.
Why?
But it's pretty funny.
That's Drake's guy.
DJ Academics Race guy.
He loves Drake.
Also a Hassan obbyhead.
But scroll down real quick on the paragraph.
I love that they're like, we shouldn't forget that he's currently facing a sexual misconduct lawsuit.
Oh.
Oh.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
It's crazy to put that in there while also being like, but he's still, hey, he's still got motion.
He's a tippity top.
But he's got 95,000 followers.
No, no, no.
DJ Academics is a lot more than that.
Why do they say that?
Okay.
Putting him on the rumble as his main platform, I think.
Agent.
Agent, well-deserved.
Agent.
Looking skinny.
Max also had a banger year.
All the Faze Boys had a banger year.
I'm very excited.
I want, I'm embarrassed to ask Nephew this specifically, but I want him to link me up with Jared McCain.
Who that?
He's the 76ers player, the basketball player that they've like collabed with and stuff before the one who's always like singing songs and painting his nails.
I really love Jason called me on the way here and I didn't answer.
I think he's amazing.
You can you call him right now and ask him?
Yeah, he's gonna ask me if he won this award.
That's what he keeps asking me.
I'm gonna tell him.
Okay, he's gonna air me.
He's gonna air me, Auntie.
It's because I didn't answer him.
Fair is fair.
Karma's a bitch.
I should have known better.
Karma's a bitch.
Ton of no.
Okay, well, he hates me, so to Jason's fire.
Okay, Jason, number nine.
Even though he hates you, yeah.
XQCQC.
W. He'll always be an icon.
Phantom.
Phantom.
I will say, when the whole world is saying Phantom tax, you got to be in the top 10.
What is this fucking filter for all these photos?
I thought mine looked good.
I don't even know where that picture's from.
I have no clue where they found that picture of me.
Pokey, also iconic.
He's iconic.
Hassan.
I don't understand how you could have been ranked this high.
Yeah, it's kind of fucked up.
Oh, that guy back then.
Bring him to the teens.
Yeah, this guy sucks.
Boo.
Boo, boo, this man.
He sucks.
What has he done?
Do you know?
You don't think you were attractive back then?
I think I was getting better looking at that point, but that's like my most dolled up version with that hair.
That's we got to get you singing like some hoisier songs.
Yeah, I look like a cult leader usually.
Exactly.
You ever gonna get your hair back like that?
No, fuck no.
I did not like having long hair.
Nasty.
It's just like too much upkeep.
But it isn't necessarily his background that makes Piker a great streamer.
He's hot, sure, but he's also funny on it.
Who wrote this?
Glaze.
Levi Winslow wrote it.
W Glaze, dog.
That's who wrote it.
Okay.
Yo, put some respect on it, dude.
All right.
Piker is something of an elder brother to his chat.
Some folks look up to an aspire, which makes sense considering Abby and his name is Turkish for elder brother.
Is that true?
Yeah, older brother.
Yeah.
Abby is a it's honorific.
I had no clue.
Oh, congrats.
So we've been calling him honorable brother for a long time.
No, he's an honorific as an older brother.
Older brother.
Yeah.
Duke.
Duke at number four.
I feel like, I mean, he, I guess, is the aura, you know?
Yeah.
If you're known for having aura, then you got it.
Yeah.
And this is crazy.
And then Judy Cinderella's own best collab nominee.
Nominee, Aiden Ross, making it up to the third point of this list.
I like how they casually.
He also quit streaming, didn't he?
No, he just quit kick.
Oh, he quit.
Where is he streaming?
Yeah, there's drama now with him and kick.
We don't know where he's going to land.
We don't know where he's going to land.
Yeah, he's been banned from every platform.
He should open a new platform.
Yeah, called the.
Never mind.
You'd have to bleep it out.
I think it's kind of crazy.
And Aiden Ross being third place on this list just basically shows me that, like, one, cancer culture is not real.
Okay, once again.
Of course not.
It's never been real.
And two, it doesn't really matter.
As long as you have clout, like it does not matter what you're what you've done.
Like people just don't give a shit anymore.
You could have like Nazis.
I mean, he did a stream with Donald Trump.
It's hard to like, like, that's the freaking president.
Yeah, but I'm saying like he literally was like hanging out with like Holocaust deniers.
Yeah, that sucks when that happens for sure.
It's not ideal.
No, I'm just saying, like, it's just, you know, this isn't even like a diss on him or anything.
I'm and people could say that's just fascinating that, yeah.
Yeah, it's just uh I think it's a direct representation that like everybody that talks about cancel culture is just doing wishful thinking in their minds.
I think.
Yeah.
Let's go to the next one.
Except for me.
Everybody tries to cancel me and they number two is well deserved.
Well deserved.
I think the number one on the list is speed.
And it's like, this has been Kai and Speed's year for sure.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm a little partial to speed.
I really love him as America's cultural ambassador.
So.
Yeah.
Great list.
Great list.
I do think you got snubbed, though, cutie.
For sure.
I shouldn't be.
I think you got snubbed.
I shouldn't be on the list.
You think I got snubbed?
You should have.
Maybe next year, guys.
Maybe, maybe they said there's a 40-hour stream minimum that you didn't hit.
Oh, you're right.
You want to hear about some things that I've been fucking pissed about?
All right.
Lindsay Lohan New Face00:15:21
Have you guys ever dealt with the fucking solar people?
Yeah.
They're the new Mormons.
No, this is so.
Okay.
Yes.
Yes.
And this is so what?
No.
This is like such.
This is a new problem.
Yes.
Yes.
They have been harassing me.
Yeah.
They go door to door.
Yeah, but harassing me.
But in what way?
I was walking out of my house the other day to go get some ice cream.
And I walk out.
It's like 8:30 at night and around the corner in the dark, solar lady, name tag and everything.
Okay.
And I'm like, ma'am, I, you know, I'm not, you know, oh, she's like, can you sell it?
And I feel so bad.
So like, I'm going, answering all her questions and acting interested, thinking that maybe she'll give me a card and then she'll go away.
And eventually, like, she will not go away.
She was sitting there for 20 minutes and I was like, I don't know.
You know what I usually say?
I usually say, like, as soon as I figure out they're selling me something, be like, oh my gosh, you are probably so incredible at this job, but I'm not buying.
I literally told her.
Did you do that?
I told her that.
I said, I respect the fact that you're doing for 20 minutes?
No, I told her that very quickly.
I was like, I told her, I said, hey, I said, hey, ma'am, I really appreciate you coming to my door and trying to sell me this.
I was like, let me tell you what's going to happen.
I'm going to act interested.
I'm going to lead you on, and then I'm not going to buy anything.
That's what you said to her?
I literally told her.
Why did you say you're going to lead her on?
Because so I was like, instead, I was like, instead of doing that, I'm going to respectfully say, I don't want to waste your time, and you should move on.
Gasp.
I was like, I want to be respectful of your time.
I don't want to waste your time.
So you should move on because I'm not going to buy anything.
She took that as a challenge.
And she kept going.
So finally, I told her I hate the environment.
You slapped her in the face.
I said, I don't like the environment.
And you said, and I don't forget about something.
I voted for Donald Trump and I don't care about anything.
And I'm all going to die.
And that's when she finally left.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I didn't say that.
But I'll be honest.
I just, I eventually just.
That's what you're mad about today.
I'm not mad about it.
I just wonder if you're not.
You started this off with.
Do you want to hear what I'm saying?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to talk about something.
That's okay.
That was good.
You have things to talk about.
Nobody had any issues.
Oh.
Did you get your bill?
Do you have anything while we, you know, before I yes, I got my bill?
I got my hospital bill and I prepared to pull it up right now.
Really?
Uh-huh.
So I want you guys to.
So for those of you that missed this part, I was in the hospital for two days, took an ambulance to the hospital and ate a bunch of food, had an emergency room visit.
And I finally received my ambulance bill yet.
Can you give me the number?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is pre- or post-insurance.
This is insurance is already calculated.
So you want to know, just know what the bill was and then what you want to know.
Guess what the bill was?
Just guess how much the bill was.
Okay, this is like, this is your part of the coverage.
Like what I'm going to have to pay.
Guess what I'm going to have to pay?
Oh, $9,300 because that's your maximum.
Okay.
But I think the insurance coverage, that's your out-of-pocket max.
But you've already probably expanded that quite a bit of that.
So I don't know if you have to cover too much of it, but I think the bill is going to be around $38,452.
I was thinking like $16K.
Damn.
What is it?
I'll be honest, y'all.
I was shocked.
He used a coupon.
I don't know what I did at this hospital.
I don't know who the fuck I knew, but I only owe $2,960.
No, what's oh, I'm talking the total bill.
The total bill was $8,800.
That's remarkable.
Two days in Trump's America.
Two days in the clinical observation.
Yeah.
Honestly, great.
It was like a four seasons.
Yeah.
Or something.
Trump's America, dude.
The hospital prices are going down already.
Yep.
So I don't know what it was.
Now, I may, I keep getting multiple bills.
I don't know if it's done yet, but I got a doctor bill.
You'll get the ambulance bill separate.
Yeah, that'll be separate.
Oh, and then I also, but I got the hospital bill, but I don't know if there's going to be separate doctor bills that are coming in.
But I've already, I don't know.
I'm just waiting.
So right now, my for your stay, that was only eight grand.
8,800.
I mean, that's still a lot of money, but that's like shocking.
And my insurance covered 6,000 something of it.
Yeah, I thought you would have hit your out-of-pocket max.
I don't even know what's happening, but I'm just very shocked.
Well, that's not too bad then.
Yeah.
You might just have really good insurance.
I think maybe I definitely pay it.
I pay like 500 a month for it.
I'm going to send you something, Gabe.
Because we need to talk about.
You guys have probably seen this, no?
Lindsay Lohan's new face.
No.
You haven't?
Send it in the group chat.
Okay.
I'm going to send it in the group chat.
I'm going to have you pull it up.
Essentially, there is like a witch hunt going on to figure out where the heck Lindsay Lohan got her new face.
If you haven't seen a few years ago, when Lindsay Lohan kind of like came back to the scene, everyone was like, What is going on?
Like, what?
Because she has, she had just like a bunch of crazy filler and stuff.
Gosh, dang it.
Every single time you open a photo, it takes you to some annoying person's blog.
And it's like, chill.
Okay.
So I'm going to send this to you first.
Ignore that.
Ignore that right now.
That's for later.
Oh.
Okay.
So this is Lindsay Lohan with like all of her filler, like, you know, you know, not aging the most with grace.
Yeah, let's see.
But then she gets this new doctor.
And she's stunning.
It's like, so this is a lot of filler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is, obviously, you can see filler and lips.
You can see filler in cheeks.
You can see filler nearly everywhere.
It's all over the place.
Yeah, Botox, filler.
Why didn't that?
Wow, she looks great.
No, no.
That's not Photoshopped.
Is it next one I'm sending you opening it?
It's being weird on mine.
It's sending it like that.
I don't know why.
Okay, I downloaded a Savirus.
Cool.
Open it with paint.
Why not?
Oh, photos.
Okay.
Oh, it worked.
Oh my god.
Look at her.
Wait, is she on the right?
Yes.
Wow.
That's what she looks like on the right now.
Yes.
That's what she looks like now.
Yes.
Wow.
She's got a whole new face.
Wow, she looks great.
It's insane.
Is she been airbrushed?
No, that's just her face.
Nah.
Guys, okay.
Is there videos?
Google Lindsay Lohan new face and just do images.
It's insane.
Hold on.
Is she been like oh my god?
She looks like a filter.
Why does she look so much better?
What happened?
I don't know.
So everyone's like on this witch hunt to figure out who the frick this doctor is that fixed her face.
It's not the doctor.
I think.
Okay, are you ready for this?
You can dissolve Philadelphia.
I think it's a clone.
I think they killed Lindsay Lohan and they cloned her.
Well, I don't.
And it's not even a good clone.
It just looks like a different person, but they're just like, yeah, that's Lindsay Lohan.
It's like, okay, sure.
Well, it gets even deeper.
Now, Google Jennifer, Jennifer Aniston's new face.
Apparently, everyone is going to this new doctor.
Okay, she doesn't look that much.
Hers isn't that different.
She doesn't look that much different.
I swear someone.
She looks worse.
I also think she looks different.
Maybe she's just been aging.
Yeah.
Okay, maybe this was the wrong example.
Maybe it was Courtney Cox's new face.
Or who's that one?
Something happened wrong.
These are both bad examples.
I've forgotten my other example.
Brooke Shields, I think, maybe.
Brooke Shields.
That's not the right one.
What is happening with all these celebrities?
Why the fuck are their faces so busted?
They get a lot of stuff done, okay?
Oh my God.
I don't think this is.
No, she just aged.
I don't think she even.
No, there's so it's will you guys ever get positive?
Someone went to Lindsay Lohan's doc.
Celebrity with new faces.
It was someone.
I'll tell you, it was someone with Lindsay Lohan and it was like a plethora of them had new faces.
And it was crazy.
But I seem to have gotten all my white women confused.
It's okay.
They all look alike.
But they all look like Lindsay Lohan, like this new filtered face, and no one knows what it is.
You would think that that doctor would like everybody to know because he would get a lot of business.
Yeah.
But I mean, but then again, people don't want to know.
Lindsay Lohan does live in Dubai.
She does.
Yeah.
Oh, interesting.
So it could be something like that.
I mean, that is a fantastic job.
Is that crazy?
I have this theory.
It's like a life-changing face.
I have this theory that like our perception of everybody thinks plastic surgery bad.
You're going to fuck up your face.
Yeah.
I think, I think a lot of, and that's with a lot of cosmetic procedures.
I think most of them are actually good.
We just only see the bad ones.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And so I think most of the cosmetic things that are done actually make people look better, but you don't notice it.
That's why I wish people would be a little more transparent about that.
Because like I like, I don't know.
I don't have any plastic surgery and I'm like a little afraid of it.
And I've like, I've never even done Botox.
I want to, I think, but I'm too afraid.
Why are you afraid?
Needles.
Ew, yuck.
I have Botox in my forehead.
Needles suck.
Look.
It moves.
I mean, barely.
It's supposed to be that way.
Yeah, okay.
Like, I supposed to have a little light movement.
I'm trying to find who else is the person.
So why won't you get Botox?
You should totally get Botox.
Because I'm afraid of it because you can get, there's this thing called Botox botulism that you can die from getting Botox in your face.
Sorry.
Shouldn't have told you.
Wait, no, no, no.
It's a thing.
Wait, I'm sure.
You've gotta Botox a million times.
I'm sure you've been in the middle of the season.
Yeah, but that's if you go get it in like some back alley.
Well, you can still move.
Yeah, but I can't move them as much as the same answer.
I can't move them as much as I like.
They used to move like crazy.
Yeah, they used to move like crazy.
I want a natural look, so I get them softened.
It's a softened look.
I only get like 20 units, 25 units.
Raise your eyebrows.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, you don't.
Oh, boy.
You're going to need some Botox.
You definitely need the tox.
You should get it.
We should go together.
I'm too.
I can move my ears too.
I can move my ears too.
I can't.
Can you do that?
No.
I have a very expressive face.
Yeah, we know.
Anyway.
He doesn't fuck with you.
Neither do you.
What?
I've been so nice today.
That's why I need Will back.
I've been so nice.
I miss him.
Okay.
What?
Anyway, I was just saying you should get Botox.
I mean, I don't think you need.
I want to get Lindsay Lohan's face.
I just wish I could get a list of everything that Margo Robbie's done to her face and the doctor, and I could just go get a copycat.
I think you look great.
I don't think that's my dream.
So you just want to look like Margot Robbie?
Yeah.
Okay, fair.
I'm pulling up my other stuff.
I've got other stuff.
Yeah, what is it?
Scroll up.
And we're going to watch this video.
I was scrolling across Twitter and evidently this husband who had a two-year affair with his wife who had a child.
No, you're saying the husband had an affair on her while having a wife with a child.
Yes, while having a wife with a child.
And the wife found out about it.
And I guess his way of, or her way of getting even with him and maybe saving the relationship is to do a humiliation ritual in the middle of a mall.
Roll it.
He's a cheetah.
Cheetah.
What did he say?
Cheater!
Look at this cheater.
Turn around for your fans.
He had a two-year affair while I had his second baby.
He intentionally had a second baby, and he was having an affair the whole time.
This is more embarrassing for.
He's a cheater.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, unfortunately.
Yeah.
It's a little bit...
So I saw this and that was my reaction.
It's a little unhinged.
And I think she...
I was just trying to see why the affair happened.
That was mean, Hassan.
That was mean.
That wasn't a nice thing.
That's the most man thing you could have possibly.
Yeah, you bozo.
I mean, this is a completely unacceptable thing that he did.
I just, I.
It's so fucking ridiculous, but also, what the fuck is she doing?
She clearly wants him to suffer, but she doesn't know how to make him suffer.
This is not a very healthy way to.
Yeah.
Leave him, Queen.
Yeah, she should leave him, Queen.
I'm also surprised that he doesn't just leave her question mark.
Like, he didn't have to go to the mall and just.
These men are trash.
I don't understand.
I mean, do you think this is real?
No.
Yeah.
You always say that.
You don't think stuff is real.
I think it's real.
I don't think anything is real.
I'm so sorry.
I can't stop coughing.
I don't think anything online is real, including Lindsay Lohan.
I think Lindsay Lohan has been cloned and it's the clone that you're looking at and you think she's hot.
You think a clone is hot.
And it's not even a clone, really.
It's just a different person that they're saying is Lindsay Lohan.
I don't know how to argue with him.
But.
Debate one.
My favorite thing.
Yeah, now we can have Thanksgiving dinner.
My favorite thing is Martha Stewart has a new documentary.
That's out.
Have you guys watched it?
No.
No.
What?
Why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?
What the fuck do I care about Martha Stewart's documentary?
Maybe she's an icon.
She has a pass.
You're gay.
What's wrong with you?
We don't like Martha Stewart?
No, the gays love Martha Stewart.
I said she's an icon.
No, why haven't you watched it?
I just, I didn't have to.
I really thought we would, you were just on a plane for what the fuck did Martha Stewart do?
I was on a plane for two hours and I don't, I don't have Netflix.
Didn't she do tax evasion?
Yeah, iconic.
Iconic.
Okay, that one is cool.
Oh, also she's hot.
Yeah, Martha's hot.
Yeah, Martha Stewart's got some mammaries on her, right?
Am I crazy?
Talk about her mammy.
Are you talking about Martha Stewart's tits?
Are you saying boobs?
Are you saying like a mammogram and you're turning into mammary?
Let her, yeah, like boobs.
Women women get all their, they go their entire life.
Martha Stewart naked, please.
No, what up, Gabe?
Come on, Gabe.
You know what I mean?
It was Martha Stewart Sports Illustrated number one.
Martha Stewart Tax Evasion00:02:23
Yeah, that one.
She's not naked.
You can pull up Martha Stewart.
She's great.
Anyway, documentary on Netflix.
And she's iconic.
Martha Stewart is incredible woman.
And nothing could ever make me hate Martha Stewart, including the whole time on the documentary, all of her employees being like, yeah, she was a bitch to work for.
And I was like, yeah, she was.
Period.
I'm like, yeah.
No, she was for sure.
Is it like, is it like a hit piece documentary?
No, it's just like a, this is freaking Martha Stewart.
And this is like, she's a very funny.
Martha bitch.
Yeah, it's Martha bitch.
Yeah.
She's like the first influencer ever, really, when you think about it.
Respect.
Yeah.
You know?
And so the very, the funniest thing for all of it, though, is she talks about how she fell in love and got married, goes to Italy on her honeymoon.
She goes to the cathedral and they're listening to the choir and her husband stays at the hotel, but she's at the cathedral listening to the choir and she's like taken away and it's so romantic.
And there's a foreign man who she's never met from Italy and they kiss.
So she cheats on her husband during her honeymoon.
Okay.
You're like, okay.
You like iconic.
Iconic.
Respect, Queen.
She can do it.
It's Martha bitch.
Martha can do it.
And so then, like, fast forward.
She didn't cheat on her fucking taxes, though.
Let me tell you.
Big Daddy IRS came down swinging.
Stop bringing up her taxes.
Yeah.
So fast forward, the documentary talks about, she talks about how her husband cheated on her throughout their marriage and how she's like, ladies, I know, what a piece of shit.
She's like, ladies, if a man cheats on you, leave his ass.
I wasn't strong enough, but you should be.
And then the producer goes, well, didn't you cheat on him first?
And she goes, she's like, on our honeymoon in Italy in the cathedral?
No, that's different.
That was, that was emotional.
It was just an emotional moment.
That's different.
That's not real.
And he's like, yeah, but you also talked about like hooking up with someone in the office when you worked in the office, like that Irish man.
Like you said you had an affair with an Irish man when you worked in corporate or whatever.
And she's like, no, that was different.
That was different.
So the producer's like low-key calling her out.
Like, well, do you think maybe since you cheated on him, that's why he cheated on you?
Government Drugs and Suicide00:03:38
Because unacceptable.
At one point, she told him that she had the affair.
And then he claimed that that's the reason he ever cheated on her is because, like, oh, she cheated first.
So screw it, you know?
Childish.
And she goes, she goes, no, no, I never, I never admitted the affair to him.
And then the producer's like, but you said you did.
And she's like, I did.
Well, it was different.
It was just gaslighting.
It was so iconic.
It was just like, it was just funny.
So you talk about cancel culture not existing.
And there are just certain people like Martha Stewart who can get away with anything.
She went to jail.
Yeah.
That part I don't really care about.
She's iconic.
Yeah.
No, you love crime.
I do.
And not tax evasion.
That's like definitely not a good crime.
Why?
Because rich people do it.
And it's kind of fucked up.
I've never tax evaded.
Yes, you have.
I'm scared.
I've tax evaded on accident.
You probably have.
Don't admit that on the broadcast.
You're cooked.
No, that's not how it works.
They're going to come after you.
Technically, as long as you didn't know, you're fine.
Yeah, that's how the law works.
And I really get ignorance of the law is always a good defense.
Taxes are too confusing.
Well, yeah, if you take your taxes and you give them to three separate CPAs, they'll all come out with a different number.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why?
That doesn't make sense.
Why can't the government tell us how much we owe?
Exactly.
They know.
Do you want me to don't?
I don't want to tell you he's going to say because they do that in Norway.
They send you a bill at the end of the year and it's fine.
Like they do it already.
But in the U.S., they don't do that.
In the U.S., they don't do that because there's a secondary market that is a private mediator that makes billions of dollars a year, basically doing your taxes for you.
That's like travel agents.
Like, it doesn't need to exist.
But they lobbied the government to purposely make it as difficult as possible.
Like the suicide hotline.
And to not offer what?
Wait, what?
A third-party agent that makes money off of our despair.
The suicide hotline can't just be for free.
How do they make money?
Do they?
You're like, I'm going to kill myself.
And then the suicide line is like, put your credit card number down, please.
Is that how you think?
They say, what's that?
No, I called the suicide hotline once, respectfully.
Oh, it's fine.
Tell me that.
I'm going to ask you for your credit card number.
Yeah, and they asked me, No, suicide.
I, but, like, you called them?
Yeah.
Was it?
Wait, don't touch me like I've never tried to kill myself.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Did you listen to the logic song, though?
Yeah, I listened to the logic song so I can memorize the number.
I was like, um, but I don't want to be alive.
They, uh, is that what made you want to do it?
Yeah, it was logic.
The song was actually counterintuitive.
Um, but like, if you think, how do they do that?
They can't just do it for free.
They've got to be paid.
Somebody's got to fund them.
Who's who's paying?
Probably the deep state.
I assume it's probably if it's if it's the government, if it's a government thing, and I assume it is, it's probably, yeah, it's an home, health and human services.
Health and human.
So, my taxes, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it all goes back.
See, I was right.
Told you.
I didn't even know it was 988.
I don't know.
The older.
Say it to me like I know.
The older I get, the more I understand why people do drugs.
Oh, yeah, why?
Life just the older you get, just life just kind of sucks.
What you don't do.
Okay.
Nope.
Continue.
I don't know.
I'm not going to hear commentators.
I'm not going to do that.
She's right.
Maybe that's shit.
How do you want to die?
I don't want to die.
He wants to do drugs.
I don't want to do drugs.
What hard drugs do you want to do?
It's because your life is boring.
Deep State Confessions00:07:50
It's not no conflict.
That's why.
I need conflict.
Your biggest care.
Yeah.
Yes.
You need to overcome struggle.
Your life is literally, your life is literally so cushy.
You work like three hours a week max.
You got to count his flight.
His flight counts as work time.
I have a show that next week.
You work like, okay, six hours a week max and you don't do shit.
And you're living a fucking healthy, happy life, traveling whatever the fuck you want, going to watch like the Vikings.
That's it.
That's the only thing you got going on that's like unique.
You need hobbies.
You need to pick up hobbies.
You need to get better at shit.
You should do woodworking.
Not to read you to filth, but like that's what it is.
That's why I love my life.
There's constant conflict.
Maybe it's a little too much, but you know.
Austin, imagine you are sitting at the coffee shop doing your wood whittling.
You're making one of those weird chains that they make out of wood that's still attached to the block.
Yeah.
That could be you.
You know what I was actually thinking?
And you smell like wood.
People love that.
I was actually thinking, I was on the phone yesterday and I was like, I could literally be a pilot, a commercial airline pilot, and still stream the same amount that I stream now.
Yes.
I would have all that time to do that.
Yeah.
I could go be a commercial airline pilot, have a full-time job, work for an airline.
Yeah.
And still just do this.
Yeah.
I'd probably miss the podcast a little bit more often.
We have to schedule on my flight schedule.
Bitch, if you're not in your seat on Wednesday at 7 p.m., okay, so what's our new time?
Thursday at 6 Thursdays.
Can we do it a little earlier?
I feel like we're too cooked.
It's this guy.
Thursday at 6.
No.
Come on, dude.
Also, if it's at 6, QT's going to show up at 7 anyway.
So yeah, 6 is fine, I guess.
I don't know.
Six is 6.
Oh, don't even.
I don't know.
You're going to show up without cookies.
That's what you're going to fucking do.
Okay.
It'll be a miracle if I show up next week.
You know what is next week?
What?
Streamer Awards.
Yay!
Woo!
Streamer Awards.
You're not going to be here?
No.
No.
Why?
No, I'm kidding.
I will be.
He's going to Oxford, but he's flying back.
Yeah.
The day of.
The Streamer Awards?
Yeah.
When you leave for Oxford.
Are you missing red carpet?
Anybody figure that out?
I don't know.
I can't reveal exactly what you're doing.
Are you?
I think we're going to have to.
You've announced your calls.
No.
When are you announcing it?
Can you tell us?
Who's your co-host?
I do have a co-host.
There's an announcement coming out next week.
Who is it?
Tell us what day.
We'll bleep it.
I think it's coming out on Tuesday.
Who is it?
It's.
Are you bleeping it?
Yes.
Woo!
Whoa.
Yeah, exciting.
That's so exciting.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
That's so exciting.
I don't know what I'm going to wear.
You haven't figured out your outfit yet?
No, maybe on the Patreon, I'll show you the VOD where I tried on dresses and you guys can tell me.
I actually don't even know what I'm going to wear either.
Oh.
But I guess it's.
Wait, I have an outfit for you that I saw on that VOD.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Okay, perfect.
Because I wanted Ludwig to wear it and then everyone chat said he couldn't pull it off.
But maybe you could.
Is it expensive?
No.
Is it 2K?
It's Fashion District.
So it's like.
Okay.
Like, you know, you can even haggle.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Right on the floor.
It's the Thanksgiving episode.
So we've got to go around and say what we're thankful for.
Okay.
I'm thankful for the Minnesota Vikings for having an eight and two seasons.
Nine and two.
Nine and two seasons so far.
Why are you taking what I'm thankful for?
It's fantastic.
I love, you know, watching the games of my family.
I really hope we win the conference this year.
Things are really looking up, and I think there's a bright future ahead, despite the fact that we've had such tumultuous seasons in the past.
That's nothing of what I was going to say.
What were you going to say, bitch?
No, you go first.
No, that's it.
Thanks a floor.
What are you thankful for?
I'm Minnesota Vikings.
What are you thankful for?
Minnesota Vikings, 9-2.
Kitty, what are you thankful for?
I want to go last.
I'm thankful for my job and that I have a job.
I think that's nice.
And I like that I have a job and am thankful for it.
I'm thankful for my friends and I'm thankful for my family and I'm thankful for my community.
This past year has been, you know, kind of rough.
I'm just thinking.
He's been gay.
No, this past year, to be honest, it's true.
This past year has been kind of rough.
There's been a lot of ups and downs.
But through it all, a lot of people have stuck with me and I really appreciate them.
And I wouldn't be able to do what I do without all of the people that I mentioned, except for Cutie, who forgot to bring me cookies today, bitch.
Wow, it was so nice.
The reason why I was extra misogynistic on this stream is on this.
I was hoping it was going to come out.
I read it wrong.
Because Cutie Cinderella did not bring fucking cookies.
And I'm not even kidding you.
Commenters, watchers, listeners alike.
I literally was eating a protein pop-tart before the podcast.
And in my mind, I was thinking, oh, man, I bet Cutie made some cookies.
It's going to be awesome.
I was so fucking excited.
I'm so fat.
I forgot.
Do you have any Oreo bars in the freezer?
Ice cream podcast.
I do.
Ice cream episode.
Fuck yeah.
I'm gonna eat mac and cheese and that on the pre-charge.
Patreon ice cream episode.
I am thankful for stability.
We ended right here.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I am thankful for stability.
I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I am so stable and comfortable, and I'm very thankful for that.
Why are you laughing at me?
I'm stable and comfortable.
He's got his job.
I've got his job.
I've got my job.
And I'm stable and I'm comfortable.
He's stable.
He's comfortable.
And look, just because I don't work as much as they do doesn't mean I can't be thankful.
You should be even more thankful.
I'm very thankful.
Honestly.
And you know what?
Look, I'm 31 years old.
I've been doing this since I was 19.
Yes, I have.
Are you retiring?
No.
From what?
The three hours of work that he does a month?
A week?
Look.
And I look forward to a 2025 filled with so much content.
Well.
And I'm thankful for this podcast.
It's my thing I look forward to every single week.
It's the only thing you do, Austin.
Yeah, we are your stability.
You know what?
And I respect that.
No matter how much I do in the future, people will always say I don't do anything.
And I accept that.
I like that.
Actually, you want to know something?
Real talk.
I have always, my entire career, even when I streamed, back when I streamed four hours a day, every four days a week, four or five days a week, which is still less than what he streams now.
Even back then, four hours a day was not cutting it.
It was eight hour a day streamer, and then you're a full-time streamer.
Four hours a day, you didn't stream that.
You weren't a streamer.
And then it went down to three.
Every point.
You're a podcaster now.
I'm a podcaster.
You went from two hours a week to literally just only doing two hours of a podcast.
I used to do, I was looking back at my Discord announcements.
I dropped down to three hours a week in 2019.
Wow.
Three days a week, I mean, in 2019.
Black Friday Bargain Hunt00:01:07
Yeah.
That was five years ago.
Anyway, I'm thankful for you all.
What a privilege.
Yes.
And we're thankful to the subscribers who keep coming back and subscribing to the podcast at patreon.com slash fear.
And we'll see you on the other side of the paywall.
We're going to get raunchy with it.
I'm going to show more meat.
Oh.
Yay.
So tomorrow I'm just going to watch football on the plane.
Does anyone know any good Black Friday deals?
I don't know.
Nobody does Black Friday anymore.
Okay, Richie.
Yeah, what?
Some of us are looking for a bargain.
Yeah.
Like, I'm talking about the $13,000 fridge you bought.