QTCinderella and Austin navigate personal health crises, including Cutie's PCOS diagnosis and severe stomach flu requiring helicopter transport, while debating the lethal dangers of colloidal silver. They analyze political fears regarding LGBTQ+ cash restrictions under potential Trump policies and legal ambiguities surrounding drunk driving in autonomous Waymo vehicles. The conversation contrasts American hospital costs, totaling $60,000 for Cutie's stay, with Turkey's nationalized system, ultimately highlighting the intersection of personal vulnerability, financial disparity, and evolving legal landscapes in the U.S. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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ER Visit and Colloidal Silver00:05:58
He's quite the guy despite the fact that he's blue.
You don't need to say that.
All right.
Pause.
Sad news.
No, this is one of my favorite videos.
No, no, this is one of my favorite videos.
Guys.
I can't take more sad news.
His life is going uphill.
The colloidial silver has turned his health around.
Okay.
Welcome, Bozos.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of the Fear Ann podcast where we are all here and we're all healthy and we're all alive.
Thank you.
Cutie and I would like to say thank you to Will and Hassan for carrying last week's episode.
Can I tell you about my pettiness?
Yes.
So Austin is doing it in the tub and he's talking and he talks to Pete.
She was like, who do you think misses Fear Ann the most?
And she's like, all of you bitch about somebody else.
And then you were like, I was petty and I went back and counted how many days everyone's missed.
And so then me, I was like, and you were like, and we're all equal.
And I said, there's no fucking way.
So me and I.
I knew we weren't equal.
I was lying.
Oh, no.
Me on stream, I pull it up and I count.
I go check mark.
Check mark for check mark for check mark.
I think I know.
He's missed the least.
Yeah.
I missed one episode.
Then I would say, me.
I've counted.
Yeah.
It's one.
We were neck and neck.
Yes, I knew it.
18, but you have the best reason.
Oh.
Yes.
I remember you and I were neck and neck.
I remember counting.
There's no way.
Austin's missed way more than me.
And then I counted.
I was like, oh, I'm humbled.
No, because when I was missing a lot, I went and checked.
I liked the regular show because I had missed three in a row.
And I was like, oh, no, they're going to think I missed a ton.
So I went and checked.
I did.
And I was like, Cutie and I have had the same.
I would like the regular show that I didn't miss the Porter Robinson episode.
You guys chose to do it without me.
We had a great time.
I was available at any other moment that we had for the best.
And you guys were like, no, Liz.
Porter doesn't fuck with you.
Yeah.
Well, add that to the list, I guess.
Well, Cutie, I got you a gift.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Because you've been working so hard on streamer awards.
I have.
I have been.
Wow, that's...
Taylor's hard work has paid off.
Her albums have sold millions of copies.
She won multiple.
This is the lore I needed.
I didn't know any of this stuff.
Yeah, these are deep cuts.
These are deep cuts.
This is beautiful.
Thank you for this.
I really love Christmas.
Oh, it's so cute.
That is beautiful.
It is cute.
Some of you, I've got drum.
This is a Patreon cut.
So some of you might not know about this, but I told a very sentimental story on the Patreon about a brawn underwear party that I had in middle school and how we were going to have our own brawn underwear party.
I have it.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
Oh, I do.
I completely forgot.
Austin forgot.
But in my defense, I knew Marsh wasn't.
I had underwear for him.
You didn't tell me to bring it.
Marsh isn't here.
No, he forgot completely on stream.
No, no.
On camera.
No, no.
And I reminded him.
And he had like...
You had me.
I was in the hospital.
Okay.
And then he did this.
And then I was like, don't worry, Marsh is not here.
So he was like, oh, I'll use that as an excuse.
And I was like, there's no way you're using that as an excuse.
Because he doesn't care.
He wish I would have died in the hospital.
That's not true.
I died.
Yeah.
You wish Austin would have died because he called me in the hospital.
He's like, I hope you don't make it.
That's insane that you're saying that.
So for those that need context, I woke up on the morning of my birthday.
Sad.
Which nobody knew about Guys?
Nobody knew about Guzai hides it.
Because he's an old bitch who doesn't want people to know.
I turn it.
My 31st birthday, I woke up and I immediately started vomiting.
Right.
And I said, fuck this.
I'm not going to spend my birthday sick.
So I immediately took myself to the best urgent care clinic I could find.
And I said, I knew what I needed.
So I got there.
I said, Doctor, I need Zofran and a bag of fluids.
That's what I told her.
Right?
Give me the show cocktail.
It's me, the doctor.
Give me the Austin Show special.
Yeah.
So I said, give it to me.
They pumped me full of three liters of fluid.
Okay.
And it didn't save me.
Anti-nausea.
Did not save me.
They said, I said, what are you going to do?
My blood pressure was 100 over 45.
They said, you need to go to the ER.
And I said, well, okay, I'll drive.
And they're like, you can't drive.
So she's back.
So they called an ambulance.
And I had to, I had to.
Did you take an Uber?
Did you have to pay for that?
They, no, I think, yes, I think so.
Oh, yeah.
No, they told me they didn't want, they didn't think it was safe for me to ride in a car because my blood pressure was.
You knew he might die.
They said, yeah.
So they said I needed to get away from it.
They were farming, dude.
No, so they made an easy 15 grand off you.
No, so they said, okay.
So I get in the ambulance.
I go the street.
We think it's better for your health if you take a helicopter.
I will say, I don't recommend anybody take an ambulance for the ride.
But the service.
My God.
I didn't have to lift a finger.
They carried me from one bed to the next.
Next thing you know, I was in.
Did they serve you a meal?
No, they didn't at the hospital.
They did.
But anyway, so I go in.
ER, when you come in an ambulance, they get you in right away.
You should never come in an ambulance.
Well, I didn't come like that.
I didn't ejaculate an ambulance.
When you arrive in an ambulance, they get you in right away.
They got me in right away.
Pumped me full of like anti-nausea that gave me a panic attack.
I told you about that to avoid that.
And then they said, we need to.
You switched my notes.
Yeah, we need to admit you.
They admitted me.
I was shitting my brains out.
The Helicopter Ambulance Ride00:03:57
Right.
And terrible stomach flu, recovered, was in the hospital for two days.
And that's my story.
Now he's skinty.
And I'm skinny.
I lost seven pounds.
Yeah, we can tell Baby.
Will said I look gaunt.
You look hot gaunt.
Yeah, thank you.
Rick Owens.
Yeah.
No, all my gay friends were like, where did you get that?
10-day fever?
I'll have one.
I was making great jokes that day until I also had a mental breakdown.
Because I was like, you were like, I'm sick.
I'm going to the ER.
And I was with Lud.
And I was like, faking it.
And then you sent a picture.
And I was like, he's so dramatic.
And Lud's like, babe, I think he's actually sick.
And I'm like, you saw that pic of him with a buggy's head and you thought he was okay.
I was like, you look like a make-a-wish kid.
Yeah.
And you were like, you're paying.
What the Vikings had.
I just want to meet Kurt Cousins once before.
I want to send the photo.
I want to send the photo you gave so we can put it.
I'm going to edit that in there.
So you can see it's okay.
Speaking of which, by the way, Gabe's here in the building because somebody is living his best fucking life.
He's living his best fucking life.
And let me tell you something.
Has he sent you guys all the happiness he's experienced?
Only one of the group chat happiness.
I've been getting a lot of extra happiness.
So favorites.
Yeah, I wanted to for sure.
You guys know that.
Well, technically, if we wanted to kiss up to somebody to get paid more, you know how you get kissed up to a boss is Marsh.
That's true.
He does have the past.
That's true.
And Hassan wants to know how much he's gotten from this.
He's in the group chat.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
I'll just put it in the chat.
There's a group chat.
While you're sending that photo, wait, there's a group chat?
Yeah, on Discord.
Wait, is that the word?
We're in it.
Oh, okay.
Scared me.
Wait, so we don't want to do my underwear and gift?
We should wait.
Let's wait till next week.
I will definitely bring it next week.
Just keep it here.
Don't open it.
I think we save it.
Sweet.
I didn't know they sell sold underwear.
They didn't.
This is just my wrapping.
It's edible.
Okay.
I have a story about Mars, though.
Save it, but don't keep it.
This morning, CNN is here at my house.
They're doing a piece on me about like leftist Joe Rogan or whatever.
And because last time I was with the team, with the CNN team, I was with March.
So they're all like, oh, where's March?
Where's March?
And I was like, let me tell you.
Okay.
This is one of those problems of owning a cooperative, equal say, equal pay type situations.
Where your producer...
There's no crushing control.
Yeah, where your producer just fuck off and go to fucking Japan for two weeks.
He's getting paid too much.
Getting paid too damn good with your Patreon donations and your dollars.
But yeah, no, the CNN camera crew wants to work for me now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Like, damn, dude, let me come work for you instead.
Fuck this mainstream media shit.
Wait, that's awesome.
Yeah.
We're going to have CNN camera crew in here.
Wait, I thought CNN was a bad one.
What?
What's the one?
Oh, Fox News.
Fox News is the bad one.
Speaking of Fox News, I got written up on Fox News.
Like, you got detention?
Yeah, they said I want to do 9-11 too.
They were like, which is true.
They were like, this guy.
Just kidding.
I'm joking.
No, it's just, it's funny because it's so obviously me being sarcastic, being like, wow, great.
We're giving Saudi Arabia a nuclear weapon.
Like, they're going to do 9-11 again.
And they wrote it on the title.
They were like, this guy, this guy wants to do 9-11 to America.
FBI, I do have no affiliation with this man.
No, no one's taking that shit seriously.
Get out of here.
But in any case, that was, you know, I've had a week.
I've had a couple weeks at this point.
Let's do W's and L's.
This early.
Let's just knock it right out of the gate.
W for me of the week is I was able to eat a sandwich.
Wow.
Ws, Ls, and Eating a Sandwich00:02:42
You skinny bitch.
No, it was tough.
It was tough.
My digestive system.
My L of the week was that I fucking shit and puke my brains out.
Right.
That was an L.
We have the photo, by the way.
You can pull it up.
Of me shitting and puking my brains.
Yes.
What you look like.
You sent us a whole pic.
Oh, yeah.
What you looked like when you were shitting and puking your brains out.
Well, this is probably post.
I thought my chest looked good.
You look like the Italian guys I went to school with.
Man, I did look like shit, didn't I?
Yeah, dude.
That's why I was worried and I fucking called you and shit.
And I was like, are you all right?
Is everything okay?
I kind of hammed it up for the photo, though.
What?
You bitch.
You were being dramatic.
I mean, I hammed it up for the photo.
I was like, damn, these people don't care about me.
We do care.
We're all messaging.
I called you at four in the morning.
You did.
I didn't call.
Cutie didn't call, but that's because she thought that she could be me next.
Well, and I was, I was texting you.
Yes, you.
I was like, yeah, I'll be honest.
Okay, all of you.
I separated from that.
May I say all of you checked in on me?
Every single one of them.
Will call me at four in the morning.
Hassan called me and made like joke about me dying potentially.
He's like the worst person to call in a crisis.
I said I would be sad if you died.
I'm in the hospital.
But he brought it up unprovoked.
He's like, I would be sad if you died.
Cutie was texting me like very religiously.
I was updates, updates, updates.
What if we found out Austin died?
How would we find out?
Who would tell us?
I'd probably Kirk may tell you.
Yeah.
I don't even know.
Would they like forget to tell us on Austin?
Awesome.
You're fine.
Really?
I wouldn't show up to something.
Yeah, but like, that's how we find out.
That is not how we would find out.
You'd be like, where's Austin?
Famous person.
It would be out relatively quick.
Would I find out via Twitter that Austin died?
Oh, no.
That'd be so tragic.
Oh, you'd get a call.
From whom?
Probably, I don't know.
I don't know who we are.
You just go through your phone and call each friend.
Billy Jones.
Billy Jones should probably find it.
Yeah, Billy would find out.
Okay, all right.
That's fair.
Put out a statement on Brunstein's official page.
Oh, that's so sad.
Okay, well, you made it so much.
I made it.
You made it so much.
Name your prize.
Back on tour.
We had to replace Austin Joe with Choice of Austin.
And we're doing a memorial tour.
Don't miss it.
It's what he would have wanted.
Tickets are double price.
It's what he would have wanted.
Ladies and gentlemen, the final show is at Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
With me as though you into that.
In the arms of the ancient.
Except for it's like an AI Austin singing in the arms of yourself.
And then Frank Sinatra.
Yeah, like a medley.
Billy Jones Finds the Statement00:02:54
All right, you's and L's.
Wait, you didn't say your daddy.
I was kidding in my brains out.
Yeah.
Okay.
My W. Can I go into detail on that right now?
Yes.
Before shooting the thing of you shooting your brains out at all.
They didn't, I didn't have my own bathroom.
So I got, so first of all, I get up to my emergency room, like the room that I'm going to stay in.
And I literally get out of the, I look over to the room and I look to the nurses and I said, where's my bathroom?
And they're like, they point to a commode.
God.
And I had to go to the bathroom in a commode and I had to call them every time to empty it every single time.
I'm going to be honest, Austin.
Ew, that's a good one.
I'm a strong man.
I could not have done that.
Yeah.
I would have, I would have, with an IV hanging out of my arm, walked down the hall.
They wouldn't let me use it.
I would have forced myself.
Oh, probably because I think I would get sick.
Yeah, they thought I had C. diff.
I would have sooner died.
Yeah.
I would have been like, I'm sorry.
Oh my God.
No, I would die.
I'll die with my digging.
Outside of my room was a cart with diapers and fucking garbage bags.
What was it?
It was a stomach virus.
Okay.
Anyway, that's a little gross, I know, to those people, but we're all.
That seems crazy that you had to do that.
That sucks.
Austin, do your balls stink?
I know they do.
They do.
They really do.
I've heard it all over town.
Boy, do I got a product for you?
It's called Mando for your ball to make sure that your balls never smell again.
So all the twinks that encounter you won't go, oh my God, P you.
And instead, they'll say, Delicioso.
Old Smelly Ball Show.
Old Reeky Sack Austin.
All the nicknames I've heard around West.
They're going to be saying gone.
They're done.
It's over.
Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers like you, Austin.
Wait, hold on.
It comes with a solid stick deodorant, a cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like the mini body wash and deodorant vibes, and free shipping.
That's right.
As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% of your starter pack.
Use code fear at shopmando.com.
That's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com.
Please support our show and tell them we sent you.
Tell them Austin sent you.
I don't smell.
Oh, because you're using Mando.
Smell fresher.
That's right.
You don't smell anymore.
Smell fresher, stay dryer, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando.
Mando Smells Fresher Than Ever00:15:48
Anyway, that sucks.
Your W and L's a week.
I'm sure that was a great thing.
I'm really struggling to come up with a W. I'll be honest.
I've been racking my brain.
Oh, I was able to watch Arcane with my boyfriend.
That was nice.
So good.
Gotta find little things.
That was my W. Maya.
I've cried so much in the past week.
I just went dress shopping.
Can't find a dress, everything's going wrong, but it's okay.
But you always pull it together, yeah, for sure.
There's just been a lot of toxicity revolving this year more than usual.
I don't know if it's just like, yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you.
I wasn't nominated.
Here we go.
And I think you're a bitch.
A lot of people have felt that way.
I was only nominated for Joe's chatting streamer, and I feel like you're bitch as well.
Okay, more.
Yes.
Austin?
I think you're a bitch.
You weren't nominated because I wasn't nominated at all.
I've heard that a lot, unfortunately.
I have heard that a lot.
Yeah, it's been a weird year.
A lot of people are just being really mean for something that's supposed to represent the opposite.
So I'm like sitting here a little confused.
And it amazes me that no matter how many times you say fan nominated, people don't get they just really don't.
And like, and I know I'm going to get another wave of it after people win, but I mean, it's all very much so laid out on the website.
Like all the breakdown and everything because we do have a panel to because everyone's like, it's a popularity contest, but we have a panel to stop that.
And then people are like, they chose all the nominations.
Well, we actually have fans to stop that.
So it's like, I feel like we've really figured it out, but it's not good enough for a lot of people.
And, you know, it's just the truth doesn't really matter.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I'm learning.
Like, for the first time ever, it's been really interesting to like state the truth and just watch people say the opposite and be like, that's weird.
And so you are a woman, so I naturally distrust you.
That is that is my reality that I've existed in for the past.
I've never considered making a man the figurehead of yeah, I've thought about it.
I thought about it.
I and just maybe taking a behind the scenes role.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, it sounds like a good idea.
I don't know.
It's been a lot.
It's been a lot.
And I've had, I didn't, I missed last week because I went ready, ladies.
This will be a fun one.
I went to the gyno and I had an awful like I almost fainted with all the news she gave me.
Like it was my shit's all fucked up.
What do you mean your shit's all fucked up?
What's going on with you?
Okay.
Do you want to cut this?
No, it's fine.
You want to talk about your pussy?
Yeah.
Okay.
What's going on?
A lot of people's vaginas are messed up.
Okay, what's going on with your pussy?
So I show up.
Number one.
Is it your pussy?
No, it's my uterus.
Oh.
Or my cervix.
I don't know.
Do they look at your pussy?
Yeah, they can't get a look at your uterus without looking at your pussy.
I know, but the pussy part isn't really that.
She saw it.
She's like, that's pretty nice.
That's what I'm saying.
That's not very critical.
I don't think so.
No.
No, it is.
Damn, you got some fire, Kooji.
That's what the doctor said.
You guys have never been to the gyno, so you don't know this.
But usually, ladies, you'll know this.
When you go to the gyno, it's like the very slow.
They're like, okay, sit, put your legs in the stirrups, scoot down, keep scooting.
And there's usually like a like a paper towel over your lap.
Right.
And then they open your, they, because you have to wear a gown, the gown.
So they open the gown and then the towel is over your lap.
So you can't see them actually in there.
Are they like under?
Literally.
Sometimes if you go to a really good gyno, they'll even dim the lights and use the thing because it's just like it's awkward.
Yodel in it.
Hello.
Um, this gyno who was recommended to me by a friend and has raving reviews.
I show up.
First thing she does is sit on the chair, scoot, scoot, scoot.
I'm still wearing my crocs.
I'm like, should I take my croc, my shoes off?
She's like, no, it's fine.
I'm like, okay.
I'm like trying to get up there.
My crocs don't fit in the stirrups.
They're like falling off.
And I'm like, okay.
And she just throws open the gown, coochie out, no coverage.
It's just like, okay, going in.
I'm like, wait, they go in.
Yes, because they have to go.
They have to put the thing in to get the packaging.
No, no, no.
No.
Yeah, lovely.
Doesn't feel good in there.
Let me tell you, i'm so lovely fingers oh, no with uh no no no, what is wrong with you?
It's, it's.
It's like I don't know how this works.
That's spread it, yes.
What's it called wrong?
I think.
No, that's what i'm wrong.
It's called a thing.
It's called a speculum no, something close to that.
It's called something.
I'm so sorry.
Number one, put the name of the pussy spreading device on the screen and make it fly.
It's a thingy.
They you know how.
Do you know how past mirrors work?
No, not at all okay.
So you open your legs, they go in with the thing.
They scrape that.
Well, they go in like this, they put the thing in, it goes okay, open it like scissors and then they go in there with a wire brush and go yeah ouch, it is a speculum.
Oh, my god, I didn't know that.
Okay, first of all, she's like.
She's like oh, you have vaginismus on your chart, which we've talked about.
So she's like i'm gonna use a children's speculum.
And I was like okay okay, did it have Dora the Explorer?
I don't know, I don't know, I didn't get, I was.
Was it minions?
It was a little crazy.
Like that one they do they do the pasture past mirrors are fine.
A lot of people say they're really painful.
For me, they're fine, thank god.
Then she does the Papsomir and then um, i'm like I have some, i've got some, I have some hormonal issues to some extent because, like I can't lose weight and I have like, don't look at my chin, but randomly i'll grow like beard hairs randomly, and it really stresses me out and like I got that problem yeah, and like i'm like something's wrong with my hormones right um, and so so she's like okay, let's do an ultrasound.
So the ultrasound is essentially a dildo with a camera on it.
And they go and you go ouchie, yeah.
And they go up there and they go and they look at both your ovaries to see if you have any cysts.
And she's like you don't have any cysts.
And i'm like okay, people pog, wow.
And then she pulls it out and she's like, but you definitely have pcos because you have all the other symptoms.
Jesus, Pcos is polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Okay, what is that?
Uh it's, I don't know.
It's really overwhelming, makes it difficult to get.
Meanwhile, keep in mind my, my vagina is wide open.
She's not she's.
She left the door open, she's not covered anything.
She's i'm, you know, did you ask her, why were you raised in the barn?
You're just gonna, yeah, I was like hello um, and so.
So she's like yeah, so i'm like essentially, i'm pretty infertile.
I've got all sorts of problems.
It's a chronic condition.
There's no cure.
You got diabetes?
Uh no, but it's all over my family.
Oh yeah, diabetes.
Yeah, like it's pretty bad.
We have a very uh, unique type one diabetes.
That's called, um something, genetic diabetes.
Anyway, it's all up, um.
So she's like, you definitely have it.
We need to put you on an insulin pill that you need to take two days or two times a day every day for the rest of your life, starting now.
And i'm like, what like this feels like sudden, yeah.
And then she's like, also, you need to take this supplement.
I'm like okay, what if it fixes your shit?
Though, now that you take insulin, all of a sudden, everything is good.
I don't know maybe, but it's like kind of scary, because they haven't done any blood work or anything.
They just looked at my vagina, I know.
So i'm gonna get there, yeah.
But then she's like, also, you have tiny endopolyps and we need to have surgery to remove those.
And i'm like okay, like what's going on, and I number one, I would rather fly to Japan and back four times than have Anesthesia, like I am more afraid of anesthesia than anything, okay.
And so I was like, ooh, anesthesia is not really an option for me.
Can we do it without anesthesia?
Because she's like, it's a camera scope.
You go up there, scoop them out, whatever.
And she's like, absolutely not.
And I'm like, okay, well, then I can't do it.
And she's like, well, then, you know, then maybe we can just put you on a progosterone pill because apparently you need progosterone.
If you're, you have estrogen, it causes the polyps.
So you need progosterone to counteract it.
But I have too much testosterone from the PCOS.
And I'm sitting there like dizzy from all of this.
And she's like, oh, and you're probably super infertile.
So let's do an egg count.
I'm like, okay.
So then they do an egg count, and I've got no eggs.
Like at all?
Zero.
Like, not zero, but I've got, I'm like, pretty bad.
Well, let's freeze that shit.
You're bad.
So that.
So that's what they're saying.
So they're like, okay, you have to freeze that shit.
In order to freeze that shit, you got to pump yourself full of estrogen.
I can't pump myself for estrin because it'll calm some more cysts.
So I have, essentially, they want me to have the surgery, remove the cyst, put progosterone.
It's so obvious.
No one's thought of it.
But kill myself?
No, let Ludwig bust inside you.
That's dude.
It's time.
No, I don't want to be baby die.
Listen, Twitch is a terrible thing.
That was the worst.
We need hope.
And we need Ludwig to bust on me.
Bust in you.
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
That's crass.
We can all.
Well, number one, I'm being a sur.
I'd get a surrogate anyway because I'm too afraid of birth.
So my fears in life, go anesthesia, birth airplanes.
Shit.
Yeah.
No.
No miracle.
Anesthesia was the only way we were going to get you on a fucking plane.
I know.
That fucking sucks.
But anyway, so it's been, so that was a big L because then I'm like, I'm literally spiraling.
And then the next day she called me and she was like, wait, we can do it without anesthesia.
I'm like, oh, why didn't you say this yesterday?
Like, I'm like, all, you know, like, why are you so afraid of anesthesia?
I don't know.
It's a, I, I woke, I had anesthesia one time and I woke up in such a weird panic that I've remembered it for the rest of my life.
It's a control thing.
I'm afraid of anesthesia too.
Yeah.
But hey, I woke up.
You just need a better experience with anesthesia.
It would probably be like profo.
You should ask him what I'm doing.
It is propofol, but that's what Michael Jackson and Joan Rivers died on.
Yeah, but that was Joan Rivers?
Joan Rivers died.
Joan Rivers is 100 years old.
Yeah, she was very old.
It's crazy that your W was you washed arcane and then your L was like, you know, you might die.
I've been through a lot.
But you know, profithol, like the moment they stop pushing it in the IV, it, you wake up immediately.
Yeah, but like, I don't fuck with it.
It's actually amazing sleep.
To be honest, if I had to die, you know, we're all gonna die.
Uh-huh.
Anesthesia mishap.
Not the worst way to go.
Not too bad.
I don't like it.
I just get paid.
My family would already get paid if I die.
They give me a bank account.
A little extra.
Anyway, it's been a lot.
And then Streamer Wars got announced.
And then I cried a lot because a lot of people mean to me.
And then I cried some more.
Pin in the miracle baby.
I think we should put a pin in that.
Thank you.
No, you should do it.
You should do a miracle baby.
No, I don't want a baby.
Also, apparently I can't get pregnant anyway because I have the stupid polyps.
I have a question.
Oh my God.
Have you tried colloidal silver being dropped in your eyes or rubbed on your skin?
What is that?
RFK Jr., Health and Human Services Secretary Baby.
That brings me to our America Me Up this week.
Where are you going to take a quick pause from the WL?
Go ahead and fly in a graphic.
I want a picture of the miracle baby.
Use AI to fuse QD and Ludwig's face.
I don't want it.
Sparklers coming out.
Games here.
So now he has to hear what he has to say.
Can an eagle come down and steal the baby?
Yeah, I want eagle picks the baby up.
One cry drops the baby.
Nuclear exposure.
America.
Can you do that?
I'll do it on MS Pain.
So have you heard of colloidal silver?
No.
No.
Colloidal silver is a miracle.
You have to be careful telling me in Austin this because we'll buy it.
It's a mirror.
No, it's a mirror.
You will not buy it after the story.
I know exactly what he's going to talk about.
Why don't you talk about what no, it's fine.
No, please tell me.
We're buying on what colloidal is.
Colloidial silver is like one of the top fake supplements that these snake oil salesmen like to hawk to their audience.
Is it on Robin Hood?
Can I invest?
It's definitely one of those things that, you know, Alex Jones, InfoWars.com, has sold, and it's probably something that our next Health and Human Services Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., has probably used at a certain point in his life.
Although I do believe he's currently using the melanin peptide, and that's why his skin looks like hamburger meat.
Ew.
But go back to the colloidal silver.
Colloidal silver.
There are quite literally no side effects.
Okay.
And that's why I want to show you the very affirming case of Paul Carlson.
Please go on YouTube and type in Paul Carlson.
Now, Paul Carlson is one of the most, was one of the most devout believers of colloidal silver.
And you can see, it's with a K.
It's with a K. You can see how impactful on his life this was.
Okay, I'm going to give you this spelling real quick just to help you out.
It's P-A-U-L-K-A-R-A-S-O-N.
Carlson, sorry.
Oh, Carson.
There you go.
There you go, Bob.
There it is.
Don't adjust your TV set.
This man's skin really is blue.
He used to look like this, a good-looking young man with a shock of red hair.
But after using a home remedy, Paul Carson looks like this.
Were you around my shade before?
Yeah, probably a little lighter.
So, how did this happen?
It all started when Paul was looking for a cure for flaky skin.
Doing his own research, he read about drinking a solution of silver in water.
At first, things were fine, but then Paul started rubbing it onto his skin and it started turning blue.
When did you first realize that you were blue?
I don't know.
We compared our arms.
Paul's used to be fairer than mine.
Now it's a dull gray-blue.
And despite the change in his skin colour, I think he likes it.
Oh, he's still drinking it.
He says it cured animals.
He's drinking silver.
He has sinus problems and even arthritis.
Paul showed me how he makes it.
I use distilled water.
All right, take him off, my friend.
Don't want to use taps.
It's like a high school science experiment.
Paul attaches electrodes to a strand of silver wire.
He sends a current into the water, which extracts the silver.
After about 15 minutes, the dissolved silver turns the water into a milky liquid.
Paul's fiancé Jackie drinks the stuff too.
But Jackie's skin looks normal because she says she never applied the silver directly to her face like Paul did.
I mean, Jackie.
They met on the phone and she fell in love with him.
Months later, she saw him for the first time.
And she says, even though she knew he was blue, it was still a shock.
Were you taken aback?
Very much so, yes.
Yeah, I had to really look at it and remember who I had to talk to and who I've fallen in love with.
Paul says his blue skin has many advantages.
He never sunburns.
He doesn't need to wear sunglasses.
Here he is with his fiancé on a recent trip to New York City.
But he also says there are some side effects he doesn't like.
Do you feel that you have been treated differently because you're blue?
Oftentimes.
Some of the people were less than polite.
But despite everything, Paul says he has no regrets about using his silver remedy.
I mean, if you change back to the way you were, would you do it?
I'm not sure.
So go ahead and pause.
Now, obviously, Hassan is gonna, you know, make some libbed up case as to why you shouldn't drink colloidal silver, but he's a redhead that doesn't sunburn anymore.
I crave that.
Yeah.
Now, obviously, there are some blue racists out there that are less than friendly to him.
But maybe this could help you with your pussy problems.
What?
Well, I mean, check out how awesome Paul's life turned out.
Hassan's Redhead Transformation Story00:13:15
Have you ever seen Blue Waffle?
Oh, God.
Let folks at home Google it.
Let's take a look at how awesome Paul's life turned out.
I mean, if you're not convinced yet, go back to the video.
He shocked the world four years ago.
A man who turned his skin the color blue.
Amazing story.
I never heard of anything like that.
This is a first on the Oprah show.
He really is blue.
This California man is blue, literally.
But whatever happened to Paul Karrison, the guy who will forever be known as Blue Man.
Sadly, he's fallen on hard times.
Paul even lost his home and had no choice but to move into this homeless shelter.
I really had no other place to do.
Oh my god.
A series of crises landed Paul on the streets.
He battled prostate cancer and heart problems, broke up with his fiancé and couldn't get a job.
People are rather reluctant to hire blue people that are noticeably different.
So he left Madeira, California and returned to his hometown of Bellingham, Washington, where he moved into the Lighthouse Mission Shelter.
It houses 40 homeless people.
But going back to his hometown turned out to be an inspired idea.
Blue Man has a girlfriend.
There you go.
Don't keep Joanne Elkins 47 years ago in junior high.
There's Paul in the yearbook, and there's Joanne in a beauty pageant around the same time.
Paul got in touch with Joanne and she helped him move out of the shelter.
Now they live together.
He's quite the guy despite the fact that he's blue.
You don't need to say that.
All right.
Pause.
Sad news.
This is one of my favorite videos.
One of my favorite videos.
Guys.
I can't take more sad news.
His life is going uphill.
The colloidal silver has turned his health around.
Okay.
Just back it up a few seconds.
Okay.
Yeah.
They never said sad.
They really bury the lead on this last part.
Okay.
Just go, you know, come on.
Obviously, things got better.
Play the video.
Sad news about the man who achieved fame as the blue man.
Paul Carrison has died at age 62.
Karrison shocked the world five years ago when he came forth as the man whose skin had literally turned blue.
As a young man growing up in Washington State, Harrison's complexion was completely normal.
His skin turned blue after he sought a cure for flaky scare.
Scared news.
So maybe things didn't get better.
Did he die because of that stuff?
Probably.
Do they say why?
Heart attack.
But it could have been all the colour silver.
Do you think Clodial Silver has anything to do with the heart problems?
No, it's because he didn't use distilled water.
That's what it is.
Wait, what if because he went homeless, he stopped taking the silver and that's why he had a hard time?
No, I don't think he stopped taking the silver.
No, I think he was still.
How if you're homeless?
How are you buying the silver?
It's, I don't think it's.
I'm just saying that's a good idea.
Hey, that is a theory.
When there's a will, there's a way.
And Paul demonstrated that.
Yeah.
Well, anyway.
That is kooky beans.
Sometimes I think as an American, you have to make your own health care.
Right?
And that brings us to our sponsor, Zock Doc.
I don't know if we have a Zach Doc.
We don't have a Zach Doc sponsor today.
No.
I'm just.
But I thought you guys would enjoy that American Me app.
I really did.
It was incredible.
That was an incredible Sugue, but you still have your W and L.
But our new minister of health is a very turgid believer in Chloe Deal So he's a believer in everything but medicine.
Yeah, he's just expressly anti-medicine, weirdly enough, but he believes everything else, even though he got caught eating McDonald's on that plane.
Did you see that photo?
Yeah, RFK Jr. was like, oh, they eat McDonald's, it's poison.
And then Donald Trump was like, kiss the ring, bitch.
You're about to pose with his open-ass Big Mac.
My W and L of the week, my, I'll start with my L.
Okay.
I have now Planters fasciitis in my left foot.
No, sure.
For sure.
Oh, no.
And it's brutal.
And it's from A, Camp Canute working out for so hard for so long.
And then I wore high heels a bunch.
I went to like a premiere and a party and I kept wearing like six inch platform Rick Owen style shoes and it just ripped my foot up.
So it's been, it's been hard to get to the gym.
I still go.
It's just painful.
We're working on fixing it.
And then my W, I um, oh, I, I, I threw one of the largest gaming events in history.
Hey, it was a massive success.
So, and none of you participated.
I wasn't.
I wish I could have.
You don't know how to play wrestling.
No, I don't.
My computer's not here.
Oh my God.
I got you a present.
I forgot to bring it.
For me?
For my birthday.
What about me?
It's my birthday, you cocksucker.
Huh?
No, it was last week, old man.
You're using cocksucker as a pejorative.
Yes, I am.
I don't direct him.
There's nothing wrong with sucking cock, man.
Yeah.
I'll bring it next week.
Stop the violence.
So those are my W, my W and L.
It was great.
Sean, what's your W and L?
W and L.
Oh, God.
It's been a long, it's been a long week.
It's been a long sequence of weeks.
The L of the week, I guess, which is not that big of an L really, but an L nonetheless, is the Fox News article that dropped on me.
Yeah.
For the past couple of weeks, they've been like hitting me over and over again, asking for comments.
And I was just like, I'm not going to respond to any of this shit.
This is nonsense.
But they did a hit piece.
I don't think it's that serious, but I mean, they at least showed some of my quotes within the context.
So I don't think it was that bad.
There was still some stuff out of context.
So I got clip chimp by Fox News again.
My dad might know who you are now.
Yeah, probably not in a very positive light, but it's all good.
W of the week, in spite of all that, I have had a sequence of awesome media placements.
Just did something with CNN.
Had Rashida Talib on the broadcast.
That was fantastic.
And also on top of that, I'm going to have Tanahasi Coates on and also the head of FTC Lena Khan on as well.
You kind of got to judge yourself by your haters.
You know, I think it just represents that you've got more power and influence.
Yeah.
No, my haters all suck.
So it's good.
I don't have a, I don't have to.
I didn't think that would be your L of the week, though.
What would you think my L of the week would be?
Your shooting percentage.
Oh, because we got to talk.
That was okay.
You guys are going to hang out.
What was your prediction from last year?
By the way, my prediction versus your performance was pretty close.
Yeah.
What did you say I was going to drop?
I said you were going to drop at least 15.
I said you were going to have 10 rebounds and I said you were going to have 10 assists.
Okay.
Which you overperformed on all of those, except for because I was supposed to go to Lily's birthday that started at 8 and I was like, whatever, I'll be late.
But it is on the complete opposite side of town.
So I'm already an hour.
Kind of in the middle.
No, so I was going to sneak out and then we were hoping that we were close to the end.
We're not.
And we're not.
And so we're like, fuck.
Wait, do you go?
No, he's not invited.
The only reason why I was invited to the show is not close to the end of the podcast right now is that I'm not sure.
It was because I was late.
And I was late because I couldn't find a dress for my stupid show.
And I'm going to show up looking ugly again.
And I'm going to have to kill myself.
So that's great.
Well, fuck everybody.
I have to go to Lily's birthday party.
I'm really sorry.
I will do a double shift.
Another Good Wednesday show.
I died.
I sent a message.
I said, can we do 530?
I've communicated.
I communicated.
No, we can't.
I was streaming.
I know.
I know.
You're right.
I had a hair appointment.
Okay.
Well, I did take this back.
I communicated.
No.
Yeah, she doesn't deserve Taylor Swift.
Listen, next week, I'm going to bring Canada.
Can I be honest?
Can I be honest?
You need to hear this.
We're not mad.
Just disappointed.
No.
Now I'm going to turn up the book.
Stop.
And you may leave.
I have no leverage.
I don't even want to.
I don't leverage.
I don't even look in that direction.
14.
15.
Oh.
Oh, 14 and a half.
Don't defend her.
Don't defend her.
Enjoy your party.
Yeah, have fun.
Have fun at the cool birthday party that you got invited to that we none of us got invited to.
That's crazy.
By the way, you're not off the hook.
Okay.
What the hell happened to you?
Dude, I've seen you ball recently.
Yeah, I know.
Was you camera shy?
Hassan?
Were you sick?
I was commentating that.
I know.
It was really shocking.
Did I listen to the broadcast?
He and Wake were awful to you.
Yeah, I heard.
I would have fucking owned it.
I was awful.
It's so funny because you fucking suck.
I was sitting there on the broadcast going, and he's going to take a shot.
And I was saying it's the rim before it would even hit.
I just want to point to something here, by the way.
While they're talking shit, if you guys didn't watch the performance, yes, I missed a lot and it was devastating.
I still had 30 points and 18 rebounds on like five blocks.
It is interesting, though, that official game day stats, I ended up with better stats than you.
What do you mean?
My game day performance last year at basketball.
Over what?
I think I had 20 points on like 12 shots.
Oh, your field goal percentage was better, is what you're saying.
Well, yes, some would say that that's a more you were also well you were up against some pretty formidable opponents like extra Emily.
I was playing against a team that at least had three competent players.
No, bullshit.
I'm not fucking with you.
You're better than what I saw.
What happened?
Were you like nervous?
Were you juiced out by the fact that you're playing on camera?
No, I think it was the extremely tight t-shirt that I was wearing that fucked up.
Because when I was rocking the sleeveless before, when I was warming up, I was downing him like five, six, seven, ten in a row.
Very interesting choice not to show your armpits.
Well, I what do you mean?
It was the fucking Starforge sponsored tight shirt you could have fucking cut it.
He knocked it off.
I should have.
I should have cut it off.
It's interesting, though, because that's going to be the lead-in to another game day that's eventually going to happen.
It's delayed right now, but everybody is waiting for Baker Gayfield versus Gardner Nepshoe.
Are you going to be on the opposite team?
Of course.
For what?
Are you playing quarterbacks?
Of course.
I can't wait for that, dude.
I'm fucking love that.
We're going to bring America back.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Oh, yeah.
I want a live audience.
I'm going to do it.
Oh, you're on your stadium?
I want to see some concessions.
I want to defend myself on the basketball thing.
Ah, bullshit.
Everybody moved out.
Everybody's moving out of football.
Everybody's moving around to football.
Okay, first half.
Awesome.
I can't wait for that.
Of all, they literally put in a fresh player who was better than everybody else on the court in the second half.
Yeah.
And I tried to work with the team that I had.
I did lob a bunch of good assists.
They just didn't turn into assists because they didn't.
Except for Nora.
Nora was good.
Who did deserve the MVP and she carried and she was there when it mattered the most.
Yeah.
She changed the tide of the game.
I think a higher field goal percentage than you.
Yeah.
Of course, most people on the courts had a higher field goal percentage than me.
Sorry, I just, I've been trying to tear you down the entire show.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not going to work.
I still 30 points is very good, though.
You started to heat up in the second half.
Yeah, my first half was disastrous.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah.
It's funny because everyone that was on the court was like shocked at how well I played, but everyone that was watching at home was maybe, you know, having the same attitude as influenced by me.
Maybe you were influencing a little bit too much.
By my commentary, I was really on your side.
No, you weren't.
I heard the commentary.
Did you watch it back?
I didn't watch the whole thing back, but I saw every clip that I saw.
Even when I was making, you were shocked.
Like, wow, we finally made one.
Now that Cutie's gone, we should talk about our Japan trip.
Oh, yes.
Are we buying a home while we're there?
I'm down.
I would love to.
I'll bring some cash.
I would love to do a week of us just fixing all of that.
I'll bring $100,000.
Do you want to just do extreme home makeover?
I feel like that would take away from all the cool stuff that we could be doing.
You need to believe in me as a content maker above yourself now.
I do believe that.
And I have better content, just reflexes.
I do believe that.
There's never been a moment where I don't believe that.
Let's do extreme home makeover.
I'm going to bring $100,000 in U.S. dollars cash briefcase.
What?
Japan Trip and Buying a Home00:14:37
I need it to get out of the country anyway.
I'm not going to be able to survive here much longer.
What do I do if Trump takes away my rights at all to live?
Do I, can I take my, is there like a Swiss bank account I could put my cash in?
Do you know anybody?
I don't.
Can I take my money out of the country?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can do that.
How do I do that?
Is it taxed?
You might be able to talk to James.
Okay.
What do you think is going to happen?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just, I want to.
It's going to go back like when women couldn't carry cash.
Gays can no longer carry cash.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Any sort of homophobic legislation is only going to stop you from being able to get married, but like you're so straight passing, you're fine.
No one's going to think.
I'm going to still be able to get gay married.
Like they're going to look at me and be like, nah, you're not.
Just let him fucking do that thing.
He's just trying to marry his best friend.
Just make it.
Just make the Twink wear a dress.
They're like, this guy's not over.
They're like, this guy's not gay.
Come on.
Come on.
This guy's not gay.
We're going to throw him in gay jail, but they can't even, I don't even think they believe it.
I could, I could go to a fucking like just a like a homophobic bar.
Like that's the theme of the bar.
Homophobia.
Literally.
That sounds like just a gay bar.
I could go there and fucking just hang out.
They wouldn't.
I could tell them I'm gay and they'd be like, ah, you're just kidding.
Fucking slap me around a little bit.
Why would that be a homophobic theme?
Why is that turning into a fantasy?
I'm going to open one up.
I think it's called Hooters.
Homophobic.
I told you by the time I went to Hooters, I told my dad.
He said it's a waste.
What a waste.
It's a waste.
Voice good.
Voice good titch, son.
Yeah.
Oh, I wanted to bring something up to you guys.
I don't know what we're going to use this for, but I found out that in the state of North Carolina, you cannot get a DUI on a horse.
Oh.
Let's do it.
Let's get fucking wasted.
Rip shit drop.
And just ride a horse.
Ride horses.
Hell yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
I'm down for that.
That's a good content.
Yeah.
I did find out, though.
I don't know if you guys knew this.
This is interesting.
This is a great talking point.
Brought talking points this week.
Did you know that riding in a Waymo drunk is still a legal gray area and you could potentially get a dui for riding in a Waymo drive?
That's crazy because technically, you are the operator, you input the destination, which means that you are controlling that vehicle.
That'd be crazy for them to actually use their to do that to discourage people from taking, like drunk Waymo.
Drunk waymos be crazy because what are they gonna do?
Drive.
What's that look about this is.
This is insane, because a drunk person be like ah, fuck it, i'm gonna get a dui anyway, might as well drive.
What if you program your destination like the middle of the, you know, San Francisco bridge and you fall asleep in the car and the car can't do anything.
I don't think the Waymo will drive you off the bridge, like I did not drive off the bridge, but like at the mouth of the bridge and just block up a lane of traffickers.
Yeah, I mean, that's fine, I better than drunk driving.
Better than drunk driving.
I may want to.
I'd prefer a Waymo to some of these fucking drivers.
Oh god, this is last week's conversation all over again.
We won't go back.
No, I wasn't here.
I had no idea.
Trust them.
I don't trust the robots man, I don't trust them.
Yeah, I don't either.
But this is uh, you're you, and I won't take helicopter.
I saw that from last week.
Where's the helicopter gonna go from?
To Lar?
Uh, wherever did they come pick me up in front of Hasan's house?
Yeah, designated pickup spot.
Are you serious?
Yeah, it'll just land.
Yeah, just land.
Yeah, that's what i'm saying.
That's awesome.
Thank you, I will be.
I wanted to kill myself in traffic today, so I might as well just take the helicopter.
Base chopper.
Come on man, all right, what else is going on?
What do you want to talk about?
Yeah, I got nothing.
I'm just here.
I'm just here to hang out nothing.
No, everything that happens in my life is political or or drama that no one wants to be associated with.
We talk about the biggest fraud of the year.
Yeah Krasinski sorry no, i'm so.
You see we fired our gm.
Yeah, you guys are just mid-season firing the organization.
Did you see all the news came out about everything that Woody Johnson has done?
Like he told all they were gonna trade Alan Lazard for Jerry Judy?
Oh, my god.
And he blocked it.
Oh my god.
Yeah, crazy.
Um, i've never seen a mid-season firing of a genius.
No, this is.
This is crazy.
This is crazy, crazy time.
Yes, it's crazy.
No, biggest fraud of the year.
Did you guys see?
Krasinski won hottest man alive.
I feel like every year they do that every year.
People's Magazine.
John Krasinski no, can you pull up?
Pull him up, he isn't he also like weirdly, right wing or something?
No, it's not.
This is a different person.
I think.
Uh, go down there.
It was right there.
One yep Krasinski.
Wait, wait.
Is that Shazam?
Wait, was that Shazam?
He won hottest man alive Shazam, no.
Sexiest man alive 2024.
Who the was Shazam?
Yeah Zachary, Zachary Levy.
Oh, Zachary Levy.
She's okay.
Oh, my God.
I'm getting my white dudes mixed up a little bit.
That was a little racist.
I'm sorry.
Wasn't he in the office?
Yeah, yeah.
He was Jim.
Oh, my God.
Fucks he been.
Sexiest man alive.
What do you think?
Fuck's he been in.
I feel like you're the only one who can comment because.
I don't think he's the sexiest man alive.
Do you think he's sexy?
No.
I mean, I think he could be cute to somebody.
I think he's not a bad looking guy.
Right.
I think they're really trying real hard on this one.
It's a hard sell.
Why is he?
I don't think he's ugly.
Look, I don't think he's ugly.
He's doing the face.
Oh, yeah.
He was Jack Ryan.
Yeah, I don't think he's ugly at all.
I think he's a handsome guy.
I can't go to Yemen.
I'm an answer.
He's the hottest man alive.
It's good news for me because he's got a protuberant nose, as do I.
I think he's a handsome guy.
Sure.
I think if I were to, I think you could take him home to mother, right?
Yeah, I mean, I think he's a handsome-looking guy.
Anyway, I just thought that was interesting.
Yeah.
He looks good there.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, no, I think he's.
So back to my illness.
Yeah.
Yeah, this was also important.
Benny Blanco.
Oh, is he sexiest man alive?
Everybody loves Benny Blanco, though.
Benny Blanco was chosen as people's sexiest man alive.
What is sexy?
Is it just looks?
It's or okay.
It's just looks.
Sexy, I would say, has a lot to do with looks.
I think your personality can detract from your looks if you're horrible.
There's one person that I've met in my entire life that I didn't find them attractive until I met them.
No, I've always found you attractive.
But I met somebody.
I was like, damn, their personality actually, it's only one person.
I had sex with him.
But it's the only person I wouldn't have had sex with them had I just seen a photo.
Right.
But their personality was incredible.
You already want me all back.
Yeah.
Like, I've never, I've never, I actually lived that.
So before that, I said that's bullshit.
If you show me a photo of somebody, it doesn't matter.
Their personality can't do shit for me.
Yeah.
No matter what.
No or yes.
This person changed my perspective.
Wow.
Sexy personality.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
No, I know.
I'm not as shallow as you may have.
I don't know what happened with Benny Blanco.
I mean, he's chill, but like, come on.
Everybody loves Benny Blanco.
I mean, they're just, I think maybe they're just going, they're being woke.
They're going with like not so hot guys this year.
Whoa.
Whoa, hold on.
Hold on.
You think you could win sexiest man alive, Hassan?
No.
Yeah, I don't think so either.
Yeah, they're give me sexiest terrorist alive.
I think Vinny Hacker should win sexiest man alive.
Yeah.
Vinny Hacker is striking.
I agree.
Very much so.
He's too hot.
He needs to dial it back a little bit.
Yeah, it's a little fucked up.
So I wanted to talk deeper about my experience in the U.S. medical system.
I don't know how much that cost.
Oh, you're cooked.
You're cooked.
Wait, how much do you think that was?
How long were you in the hospital?
Two days.
At least $60,000 all in.
No way.
I mean, I have insurance.
It's copay.
It's maxed.
Like, my max out of pocket is $9,300.
Bro, he's already fucking...
He probably already maxed out his $9,300 this year.
Oh, because I'm a hypochondriac?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Ambulance ride?
Very expensive.
Did they charge me for that breakfast?
Yeah, it was like $1,150.
They charged me for breakfast.
What?
Of course, bro.
They charge you for the Holly's.
In the hospital, you probably charge like $5,000 to $10,000 a day.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I mean, that service was incredible.
I'll be honest.
I will say, say what you want about the hospital.
Austin's going to stay at the hospital when he comes into LA.
I'll be honest.
Ooh, I'm feeling a little tepid.
Do you like being in a hospital?
No, the hospital, look, it wasn't fun, believe me.
But I would just be like, hey, I'm a little nauseous.
I meditate.
Boom.
Hey, I have a headache.
Boom.
Yeah.
You just be like, hey, can I get, and then pretty soon I got the names of the medications.
I was just calling for them.
Oh, wow.
I was like, yeah, can I get some of this?
Yeah, they charge your ass out the fucking wazoo.
You think so?
Look, Turkey has nationalized healthcare system and a private one on top of that.
So I've been to both private hospitals in Turkey and public hospitals.
And I will admit that the public hospitals in most places where they have public health care is dog shit, right?
Like it's this like gray room.
It's always underfunded.
Having said that, however, I'd rather have it be free and not like a fucking hotel.
American hospitals are like hotels.
Oh, are they?
Yeah.
I mean, I did call.
Like, they gave me a number to call for room streams.
American hospitals are designed in a way where it's like super high luxury in comparison to hospitals all around the world, but that's also part of the reason why.
I mean, they had a menu with like burgers, steak, fries, cookies.
Really?
Yeah, it was expansive.
I was like, what can I get?
They're like, anything you want.
I said, they had no prices on the menu.
So I was just because they make it up.
I was just ordering.
I love the steak freaks.
They did have steak freaks.
I'm not even kidding.
They had steak freeze.
Honestly, I fuck with that.
Yeah, they make it up.
That's why.
At this point, I was like, I'm already fucking maxed out of my insurance.
I'm already in this bitch.
So I was dialing at Will order.
I had a fucking elaborate break.
I couldn't eat any of it.
I'll have the Alaskan cod.
They, they, the reason why they don't put prices on it is because they make it up.
They make it up?
They make it up.
Damn, that's awesome.
They make it up on like who can pay.
I don't know where they didn't even take my insurance information.
I don't know who they got my name and that's it.
I don't even know how the fuck they're going to bill me.
So I may have gotten out of there scot-free.
That's not a problem.
No.
That's crazy.
You are out of your mind if you think they're not hunting you down.
Wait, I mean, they don't.
I don't know.
I'll just be like, I wasn't there.
70 grand a pop, bitch.
At the ambulance thing, the guy, as I get out of the ambulance, he's like, would you sign here?
And I was like, for what?
He's like, just to say that you were here, that you rode, that we delivered you to the hospital.
I said, what if I don't sign it?
What are you going to do?
Austin is trying to get out of this hospital, bro.
Dude, if you can pull this off, it's like an actual white hat, Karen.
Yeah.
That's an actual, that's a lick.
Like, that is, that's a lot of money.
Yeah.
I don't know how much.
Look, I hope my insurance covers.
I was at the, my insurance was like the same company that the hospital was.
Sure.
So they'd be fucking themselves, right?
It's like, they're not going to charge that much, right?
How much is the ambulance bill?
It's going to be $15,000 at least.
$15,000?
I could have fucking, I would rather die.
I could have called him when you said I buy ambulance.
I was like, what?
You didn't know Uber?
No, my stupid ass was like ambulance.
Ambulance.
Bro, the last time I needed to go to the hospital, this is real, real shit.
This is still when I was broke in Los Angeles.
I was opening a bag of carrots and I stabbed myself in the hand.
And I had a massive gash on my hand.
I think there's, I have a scar somewhere, but like, definitely needed stitches.
And I was like, oh, I can't afford that.
So I took an Uber to the CVS.
I got a bottle of alcohol and a thing of super glue.
And I came home and just went, oh my God.
Yeah.
Did it work?
Yeah, of course.
Is that, oh my God.
This is saying ambulance costs are around like 2,500 or 1,800, but I don't believe that.
I'll let you guys know next episode when if they find me.
Type in how much does an ambulance cost in Los Angeles.
I mean, I wasn't in LA.
Just want to see.
I don't believe.
I think it's a lie.
They're saying it's like, that's more.
I don't think that's correct.
I mean, it's an insane amount of money, but I don't think that's correct.
I think it's more expensive than that.
Yeah.
And yeah, I had nurses on call.
They were sick of me.
I mean, look, if I was going to be anywhere, I mean, might as well be in the ambulance.
I mean, I will say, like, to deal with a stomach flu and have everything taken care of for you is not the worst thing.
I would have liked my own personal bathroom.
That would have been nice.
But, you know.
Shitting in a fucking bucket.
And for the record, for those of you who have been in the hospital, I'm not saying any, I don't advise it.
But if you're there, fuck it.
I'm pro spending time in the hospital.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, like, I don't enjoy.
I didn't enjoy it.
Also, like, they let you walk out of that bitch.
Yeah.
I thought they had to like wheelchair you out.
No, they let me walk out.
I walked out a free man.
I got lost all the way out of the hospital.
He wanted to be pampered all the way out to the door.
Well, my sister, who also is a nurse, she's an RN.
She worked in the hospital.
And she was like, you know, they're going to make you ride in a wheelchair.
Wheelchair Protocol for Dramatic Bitches00:01:55
That's like protocol.
I was like, really?
He wanted.
And so they said they said to me, they said, would you like to be wheeled out?
You're a dramatic bitch.
No, you'd be proud of me.
They said, would you like to be wheeled out?
And I said, can I walk out?
Oh, walk.
I said, can I walk out?
They said, yes, you can.
I said, okay, I will walk because somebody else will probably need that before I will.
Wow.
What a match.
Yeah.
They could have farmed another thousand dollars from you in that very little time.
I'm so curious.
I'm going to bring my itemized receipt.
Yeah.
You guys want to see that shit?
I would like to see that.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's it for this week's episode of Fear End on behalf of on behalf on behalf of all of us here.
We want to thank you.
Thanks for joining us again.
We're already missing Cutie Cinderella.
I'll be gone next week because I'm going home to my mother and father's 50th wedding anniversary.
The big five.
Oh, so yeah.
And it's Thanksgiving next week, right?
Or no?
A little bit after that.
Anyway, thank you so much, everybody.
We'll see you next week.
Unless you're one of our Patreon subscribers, in which case, you're going to get some good.
Oh, yeah.
Good shit.
Behind the paywall.
Oh, yeah.
Big time.
Patreon.com/slash fear and baby.
See you on the other side.
Gay people are dark in general.
Like the humor of gay men is very dark.
Yeah.
Like I had this, I heard about this straight woman who was in a gay group chat.
Okay.
And she got offended and had to leave the group chat.
Wow.
What a story.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
What you're so mean.
That's the most like.
I hang out in Portland, Oregon with like Normie's ass story of all time.
Wow.
You guys want to hear about the story about a woman that was in a gay chat?