Hasan Piker and Will Neff revive "Fear and Malding" without their co-hosts, mocking Elon Musk's new Department of Government Efficiency and Brianna Chicken Fry's $12 million silence offer against Zach Bryan. They debate Waymo's Los Angeles robot taxi launch, contrasting safety fears with transhumanist desires for cyberpunk dystopias and genetic modification. The duo plans a chaotic Japan trip involving the Japanese Communist Party, Yakuza interviews, and Jiro's sushi, while critiquing billionaires buying Montana land. Ultimately, their chaotic banter highlights growing societal anxieties regarding AI autonomy, corporate overreach, and the blurring lines between human agency and robotic servitude. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Rolling Dice To Skip Traffic00:06:17
And I'm gonna tell you the truth.
Yeah, because I'm gonna tell you the truth.
If I had a one in 10 chance of dying, but it meant that I could skip an hour of traffic and save 50 bucks on the way to LAX, I'm rolling those dice every time.
That is insane.
I'm rolling those dice every time, baby.
I'm saying it, dude.
Name, name, name.
My name is Hashan.
What a fucking weasly little liar, dude.
Bro, you can't say go for it and then not go for it.
What is this?
What is this?
You said you guys, you guys ready to go?
And then it's not rolling.
And then you went quiet mode like we were going to talk.
Disgusting.
Yeah.
Okay, we can't yell at March too much because he's the only one left.
Everyone is gone.
We're back to fear and maulding.
It is so 2018, 2019, all over again, ladies and gentlemen.
Donald Trump is president.
America's on the brink of collapse.
And Will Neff and myself are back to doing political commentary.
That's right.
It's fear and malding.
We're doing the time warp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, I know.
I was going to bring that to you.
You got me, Rothy.
Hold on.
I have a gig.
You spoiled it.
March, you fucking piece of shit.
You spoiled it, dude.
Yeah.
You got me Rothies.
I didn't.
It's well, it's more complicated than that.
Oh, but I'll explain.
I also got underwear for March, but we can't even do the underwear swap today because...
Can you explain?
Well, I was told about it.
Can you explain it to me?
Oh my God.
There they are.
Dude, this is the rare as the strativarius.
The literal unopened box.
Don't show the back of it because it has my address on it.
My old ass.
Woodland camo size 13s.
Yeah, dude.
So why do you have a box?
I just never, I literally just never opened it.
There's no wait, well, wait, This is from Fear and Maulding.
Dude, look, look underneath.
Oh, my God.
It says it's directed to Fear and Maulding podcast.
Rare is the Strativarius.
It's literally got stickers on it, guys.
It's got the fucking stickers on it.
It has the address underneath it.
Dude, I want you to take that to a sneakerhead convention and try and try and flip it for some jouding.
It's got this.
It's got this blue tag on it that you rip and then you and then freedom.
Hey, you got to frame that.
Yeah.
That's a classic.
Yeah.
Authentico.
It's a blast from the past, baby.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing out here today.
Authentico.
It's been quite the eventful week, but of course, because we shot the podcast, I feel like not that long ago.
Yeah, you're not going to see this for a week.
You're not going to see.
Yeah, you're not going to see this until Monday next week because QD Cinderella and Austin Show were very adamant that we have to shoot the podcast on Wednesday nights at 7 p.m.
Yeah.
They were adamant.
They literally were like, we have to shoot it at Wednesday at 7 p.m.
Cutie, I believe, said, if you're there, you're there.
You're a part of the podcast.
If you're not there, sorry, you're not going to be on the podcast.
Yeah.
And both Will and I were like, okay.
I mean, I was like, whatever, sure.
Will was like, you had very valid concerns.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always, I always beg them not to schedule the podcast during my stream to no avail.
And this week I'm hosting a Rust server.
I don't know if anybody here has checked it out.
By the time you see this, it I think will be over.
But it's been awesome.
We had T-Pain do a little performance in the game tonight, which was really amazing.
Yeah.
That'd be nice if you were you were able to continue streaming it.
Yeah, that would be ideal.
Okay, to be fair, to be fair, our co-hosts are both under the weather.
Yeah.
Why are you laughing, Marsh?
They're under the weather.
It's just funny because they were so adamant, and then they're not here, and we weren't even like I never leave town.
No.
Ever.
I never leave my house.
And I was like, okay, we'll shoot the podcast on Wednesday at 7 p.m.
If you're there, you're there.
If you're not, you're not a part of the podcast.
You're going down for game day.
I'm going down for game day.
Nick Pollum asked me to participate in OTK game day, and he said the magic words, basketball.
And I was like, well, I'll say no more.
What day is that?
Is that tomorrow?
It's Friday.
Friday.
Okay, so we can put up a scoreline next to what I'm about to say.
Uh-oh.
Right.
Of what actually happens.
Now, I know that Hassan is only going down so that he can drag his beanbag across the forehead of a bunch of nerds who have never even played basketball.
I don't know how, what's the level of competition?
There's none.
I don't know how well they play or if they play at all.
You think Emiru is going to cross you up, dog?
What do you think?
I don't know.
I saw Nick Palm get crossed up by that.
What's her face?
The RP chick that he hangs out with.
Oh, God.
She nutmegged him.
Bro, pull this up.
It's got to be on like LSF or something.
Listen, are you going to show mercy or are you going to go dogs out?
No, I'm going to play normal.
I'm just going to play a normal game of basketball.
Predicted stat line.
20 rebounds.
No.
20 rebounds.
Okay.
This is my prediction.
At least 15 points, 10 assists, and 10 steals.
You think that is that bad?
I've never seen OTK game day.
I have no idea how to do it.
But Cypher PK is going to be there, and he plays well.
And we probably won't be on the same team.
I hope not.
That'd be really funny.
All the fucking Monstars, but this time, no Looney Peace.
That'd be a really funny angle for game day, just one team getting the absolute shit kicked out.
Yeah, I bring a bunch of my like D3 friends, you know what I mean?
Like NCAA athletes.
Hexclad Pan Kitchen Upgrade00:03:05
And we're like, what's up?
We're ready to go.
That'd be awesome.
That'd be fire.
Yeah, let's get the real actual stats put up next to my predictions right here.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you know, Gabe's going to be doing that because someone is going out of the country, leaving the fucking country like a coward.
Leaving the country like a coward to go to Japan.
The Japanese.
That's right.
That's right, March.
I don't think he's a coward.
I think he's a visionary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some of us, some of us are going to stick through with the collapse of Empire.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been here this long.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
I'm going down with the shit.
To be an American, well, at least I know I'm.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hasan, I got you a gift for the holidays.
Oh, yeah.
What did you get me, Will?
I got you a hex clad pan.
That's crazy because I got you a hex clad pan as well.
Gift of the Magi.
Oh, my God.
This holiday season just got better.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have Hexclad Pans in front of us.
And a lot of you know, we've talked quite a bit about my very special breakfast sandwiches that I've made for Austin in the past.
He's actually received one.
Well, with the Hex Clad Pan that you just gave me, maybe I'll whip one up for you.
That sounds delightful.
Hex Class 6P set is the perfect starter bundle to enjoy the incredible versatility of their products, Will.
Did you know that?
I've heard.
This set features six of their most popular pots and pans with an accompanying lid that can handle all of your holiday cooking needs.
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Say goodbye to sticking, burning, and uneven cooking.
And hello to perfection with every dish.
That is actually something I do despise about a lot of these other products on the market, or at least things that my mom buys all the time.
Yeah.
Where they, I'm cracking an egg, and then that thing sticks on the pan.
And I'm like, I want something that doesn't stick.
I don't even know if it has chemicals.
Hexline buys the cut rate pans as well.
And they're terrible.
Yeah, it's not good.
But luckily, we have a new sponsor.
So we don't.
This is a good sponsor.
Yeah, this is a good sponsor.
I'm going to be cooking.
I'm whipping stir-fry in this bad boy.
That's right.
And Hassan, whether you're treating yourself or looking for that perfect gift like we were, now is the time to snag the cookware that everybody's talking about for a very limited time.
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Only our listeners can shop Hexclad's biggest sale of the year for up to 42% off with our exclusive link.
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Support our show and check them out at hexclad.com forward slash fear.
That's F-E-A-R.
Bone appetite, bone apple tea.
Let's see.
Dave Portnoy Hot Chicken Sponsorship00:15:54
I'm going to be bummed when they deport you.
Him too.
Why are they going to, they won't deport him.
No, we're both anchor babies.
We're not.
He's a Greek man and I am Norwegian from the middle of America.
From Norway?
Yeah, I'm Hank Pecker.
Yeah.
Norwegian 11th generation.
I'll still marry you to keep you here.
The offer's on the table.
No, they won't.
I don't think they're going to let...
Bro, they're coming after everybody.
They're saying they're going to denaturalize motherfuckers.
You know what I mean?
Damn.
Take away their citizenship.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Who knows, man?
Fun stuff.
Fun times ahead for everybody.
But, you know, all of the worst goobers of all time are celebrating, and it's fucking so annoying.
Elon Musk.
They made an agency called Doge, dude, just off of a meme coin.
That's where we're at now.
It's called Department of Government Efficiency, which is supposed to eliminate redundancies in government.
We already have that.
It's called the Government Accountability Office.
It's been around for 100 years.
So wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
The department that is supposed to reduce redundancies is a redundancy?
That's a redundancy.
And the department is headed by two people.
Vivek Ramaswamy and Nilamos.
Even that's stupid.
Like, you're supposed to have one person leading it.
Nope, they have two people leading it.
Hey, their dynamic duo.
I think you're being too harsh on it.
Yeah, no, we love them.
I'm a Republican.
I'm a Republican.
I'm a conservative.
That's right, baby.
Shut your fucking mouth.
You want to get deported?
I love the United States of America, and I think we should do more wars.
That would be good.
What else is going on?
What else is going on in the world?
I don't know because like I said, we did the podcast.
I feel like not that long ago.
When the fuck did we shoot the last episode?
Yeah, we shot the last episode on Friday.
And it's a recent turnaround.
The real drama that is taking over the internet is, and I wonder if you know who these people are.
Brianna Chicken Fry and Zach Bryant.
I know who Zach Bryant is.
I don't know if I've ever heard of Brianna Chicken Fry.
Brianna Chicken Fry is a podcaster from Barstool.
She's part of the Barstool Network.
She's very popular.
Oh, I know who she is.
Turns out, Brianna LaPaglia, also known as Brianna Chicken Fry.
I didn't know she was called Brianna Chicken Fry.
I didn't either, but their fucking podcast episode where they like leak the details of Zach Bryant being like an abusive person and a cheater and shitty was sponsored by, I think, like it was Dave's Hot Chicken or something.
Oh.
That's what I thought.
I thought that was real funny.
Anyway, here, click on the cut.
What's going on with Brianna Chicken Fry and Zach Bryan?
Didn't he offer her like $40 million?
12.
Wow.
Okay.
So, okay, so you do know a little bit about this.
So this podcast, the barstool podcaster, Brianna Chicken Fry, is dating country music Heartthrob.
I think they were dating.
I think they broke up.
Yeah, was dating country music singer Zach Bryan.
Now, I don't know anything about Zach Bryan.
I don't listen to country music, except I lied.
I love country music.
I love America.
More wars, please.
And also less housing.
We don't want housing.
We want more wars, please.
That's right.
I'm a good Samaritan America lover.
Don't deport me.
Anyway, and I love Zach Bryan.
So Zach Bryan and Brianna are dating.
Then they break up.
Hey, guys.
And when they split, Zach's like, I'll give you $12 million to shut the fuck up about this relationship.
I mean, that's...
Who hasn't done that in their lifetime?
And Brianna was like, no, dog, you fucking suck.
I'm going to leak everything and leak everything she did.
Let's take a look at one of these videos, at least, one of these tell-alls.
And then there's more to the story.
Okay.
Well, not only to me, but a lot of other people.
So I have a few things I want to talk about.
And also, in the first portion of this video, I'm going to be talking about weight.
And if that's a tough one for you, maybe skip this video.
But can you pause it for a second?
Society is fucking so captured and so enamored by woke that you got a barstool podcaster by the name of Brianna Chicken Fry being like, guys, sensitivity warning.
I want to issue a sensitivity warning, trigger warning for you if you have an eating disorder.
They've come a long way over there.
That's so funny to me.
I'm sorry.
That's like, what the fuck?
You're like a barstool guy.
What?
Do they care about that stuff over there?
Well, I think bar stool has gotten more progressive.
You're talking about someone who's like red barstool.
Me too.
Dude, we were there when it first started.
I was there when Dave Portnoy blew his hamstring out running the 40.
That's classic.
That's, dude, he said he's many adventures, but it would be funny if Dave Portnoy was like, all right, guys, today I want to issue a trigger warning, ableism discourse.
This Trump guy's a real R-word.
Like, what the fuck?
You're a barstool.
Hey.
Congratulations.
I like that they're woke now.
Let's take a look at what Brianna Chicken Fry has to say.
Touched on in the podcast very quickly how I lost 15 pounds that I didn't have to lose in the relationship.
I'm a very skinny person.
I've always been.
That's like, that's just my build.
I'm a skinny girl.
But I've always been like healthily skinny.
I just like gain what my body can gain, you know?
But I've been down to 111 pounds for a while now.
And that is not cool.
I'm 5'8.
So that was my high school weight.
I weighed 111 pounds when I was about 15 years old.
And my comfortable, like normal weight was usually like 130 pounds.
This is me when we first started dating.
I'm probably like 130 pounds in this.
This is me now.
My legs are like, it's fucking crazy.
And it's not because during, it's not because I didn't want to eat, obviously.
I was like physically sick from what I was going through mentally.
So like when you're in a constant fight or flight, you're just so anxious, like to the point where you throw up and you can't eat.
You can't hold anything down.
Like I just always felt like I was gonna throw up.
So I would eat like one meal a day.
And things don't just snap back.
Like I'm, I still, I have this new anxiety that I never had in my life.
So I'm still really struggling with it.
And I want to know ways to cope with it and how to gain fucking weight back.
So that's my question for people.
How to gain weight through something like this and how to like not feel sick from anxiety.
I don't know.
I'm gonna make a series of trying to gain my weight back so we could all do it together if you are experiencing something similar.
I think it's gonna be helpful for me, for you guys, just to like hold myself accountable to like get better.
Also, I've been really hesitant to like jump back into my life, like go back to New York and like hit the ground running.
I think I'm finally getting to a place where I'm okay with going back.
Like I'm gonna go back tonight, I think.
I'm like living at my mom's right now and I'm really just trying to take the time to process and like, I don't want for a second anyone to think that I'm like using this for social media.
Like I am saying it has so what did he do?
Apparently, and I thought this video was gonna shine a light on what happened here, but apparently he was just like very abusive, very jealous, and caused a lot of mental strife.
And why is this article not talking about it?
Did you, is this a cut article?
No, this is just a weight loss, like crazy weight loss after the abuse.
The cut article was on the side, a timeline of, nope, the drama surrounding one of country's biggest stars just keeps getting sloppier.
It's slate.
Yo, this is the one.
Yeah.
We know Zach Bryan.
Click down and then zoom into, I just got my new prescription today.
Okay, okay.
Where are you?
You're trailing all over.
Right there.
This might be good.
Yeah, let's see.
And he's like, happy in the beginning.
And then everything turns to like, I can't believe you're wearing this, blah, blah, blah.
Ruins the night.
I'm crying my birthday.
He ruined my tour.
He ruined the Golden Globes.
Anything Brianna did for Brianna, he had to ruin it.
The Golden Globes night was going so great.
And I'm like sending him pictures.
And he's like, happy in the beginning.
And then all of a sudden it turns to like, I can't believe you're wearing this, blah, blah, blah.
Wait, is that her?
I'm crying to Grace.
Yo, that's a different person.
He unfollows me because of the dress.
He tells me all the Instagram pictures that I have that I have to delete.
He makes me believe that like I have to change my image to like keep up with his or something.
So like I was twisted in the head like, okay, yeah, he doesn't want, he doesn't want to be with a girl that I don't know.
That's friend of the show, Josh Richards.
But it wasn't like it was like some like super unmodest.
I loved it.
I loved the dress.
It's nuts.
I've worn more revealing stuff.
I've worn more revealing stuff to the fucking Golden Globes than Bri has.
I had a crop talk.
That's not me.
I'm not out here with like my nipples and my coochie out.
Like that has never been me.
And he was trying to paint me as this.
But the cherry on the top of all of that was he reposted that picture of me on his story and was like, you are so beautiful.
While freaking out behind the scenes.
While freaking out behind the scenes and on following all of us and on following me.
Oh, man.
It's just such a...
Fascinating.
It's so funny seeing fucking Barstool's very own be like, yeah, you know, toxic masculinity is a real fucking problem nowadays.
Hey.
I like Miss Peaches.
Miss Peaches.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
That rehabbed his image quite a bit.
I'm not going to lie.
Even though he's still a fucking idiot.
Miss Peaches is great.
I fucking Dave Portnoy, dude.
He's the worst instincts.
God, that's a weird situation right there.
Yeah, so he was jealous, abusive, and she basically was like, I don't want the $12 million.
I'm going to dunk on you instead.
And dunk on him.
She did.
And you go, girl, for that.
But also, there's one other aspect of this story that you might not have seen.
Dave Portnoy did a fucking diss track on Zach Bryan.
I did not see this.
Marge, pull that shit up, please.
I did not see this.
Yes, Dave Portnoy.
Is it bars?
It's, I will see.
Smallest man.
Yep.
Full song.
Play it.
Epic diss track.
Oh, he went content cop with it.
Full rap bars.
He went content cop.
Yeah.
iDubb's gotta call his lawyer.
Pretty soon you're gonna need a revival.
Trust me.
Cut your pins on fire.
Tinder bubble riah.
Knew you was a liar.
You fucked up.
It's about to get Corey.
Go and post it on your Instagram.
Yeah, he's at the parties all the time.
He's not even a twin.
He is a twin.
He's like an agent, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
He's playing an informative role.
Let it play.
I guess not because you forgot about your wedding ring.
This ain't a subtle subliminal.
You're great at being country without a second syllable.
My fist plus your face.
Simple addition.
The way you did it wrong, man, it's sickening.
I'ma kick your dick in to give you an adult circumstances.
Man.
I did not think it'd be this good.
Dave Porter's part is bars.
These girls is itchy in their teens.
Asking what you mean.
Yeah, he's doing STD stuff, too.
There's another song.
There's two songs.
Yes, he didn't release just one.
He released two.
He literally kendricked it.
If you don't, it's going to be a mistake, sir.
I promise.
Get back in your job or go to jail.
I don't care what.
I'll go to jail.
I'm done.
I will.
I will have said, trust me.
Is that on clear?
Oh, by the way, pause.
I don't know, but I pause it.
Oh, by the way, fucking Zach Bryan broke up with Brianna Chicken Fry.
I forgot to mention this on an Instagram post.
And Chicken Fry didn't even know.
Yeah, he's a real freak, dude.
On her own YouTube channel, she says she didn't know Brian was planning to share the post that day.
We broke up yesterday, she said.
So I wasn't ready to do anything publicly.
I wanted to handle this as a human first.
La Poglia subsequently took a break from her podcast while Brian continued to post about his upcoming concerts and a trip to Oklahoma to visit his mother's grave.
And then they did do the podcast.
That was like six, seven days ago at this point.
Wow.
The first song was The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.
I want to hear Dave Portnoy's part.
Keep going.
Let's hear what Dave Portnoy's part is.
But outside of that, there's another one.
outside of that there's another one
this is a very epic rap battle Kind of like an educational rap type movie.
Okay, the other one is called Country Diddy.
No, bro.
Holy shit.
They came with the two-piece.
Yeah, he was like, here, I'm going to give you 12 mil and to sign this NDA.
She was like, nah.
And then they did this.
Country Diddy.
Oh, the NDA was about Brian's 2023 arrest.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, this one's not as good.
This one is not as good.
We don't have to.
You know, it's the thought that counts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the thought about doing a Kendrick, a double, a double dip, you know?
Yeah.
Transition Lenses And Country Diddy00:05:11
To honor Veterans Day, Zach Bryan posted a photo of himself in a Navy uniform.
Brian enlisted at the age 17 and served until 2021 when he was honorably discharged to pursue his music career.
So he's just like kind of avoiding posting about it.
Whereas like the podcast Orbit is going crazy over it and they're just like kind of ripping into him a lot.
Yeah.
Which is valid.
He deserves it.
Yeah.
I didn't know what fucking Zach Bryan looked like, by the way.
God damn.
I mean, Brianna Chicken Fry is like way out of his league.
Yeah.
Like that's crazy.
I don't know enough about country music.
Is he like Rich Rich or Famous Famous?
I don't even know.
I don't know anything.
Yeah.
Neither one of us.
We need to listen to country about country music because we're going to get deported if we don't.
Yes.
God damn.
Ah, fuck it.
All right.
What else is going on?
What about in your life?
How's it going?
We got that.
Oh, in my life?
Yeah.
I mean, how's Kaya?
Kaya's great.
I'm going to talk to you much.
Your dog's good.
Yeah.
Kaya's great.
She's, I mean, she's, she's being crazy.
She gets into, she plays with this other dog, with my trainer's dog, all the time.
Oh, that's her boyfriend.
Yeah.
Well, this is the girlfriend because he got a second dog.
Oh, shit.
And she fucking bites her neck so much.
And Kaya, because she's a mastiff breed, doesn't feel it.
So her neck is just covered in fucking scars and scabs.
Oh, it's crazy.
Golly.
But she loves it.
So I don't know.
I don't know how to stop him.
Hey, I don't want to stop him.
Young love.
Yeah, young love.
Love is love.
Exactly.
Let your dog be gay.
I feel bad about that.
Okay, that burp was insane.
Oh my God, bro.
I feel like I just walked into a swarm of place that's been closed for a month.
Holy fuck, that had an odor.
What did you eat?
Garlic sauce.
Yeah, goddamn.
Oh, my God.
Habibi.
Habibi.
Listen, listen.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
I would never have garlic sauce.
I only eat burger.
I picked that up immediately.
But yeah, sorry.
Apologies for that.
Didn't realize I was going to.
You know, it's one of those birds where he's just like, you're like, oh, no, it's going to be fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I got as soon as it came out.
I was like, oh, no.
Hassan, unfortunately, our co-host Austin is very sick this week and couldn't attend.
That's right.
If only he had used Zock Doc.
Zock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment and not end up in urgent care like old Austin show.
We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much more.
That's right.
You just saw an optometrist.
Did you use Zock Doc?
I did.
I did use Zock Doc.
That's your goddamn right you did.
Plus, Zock Doc appointments happen fast.
Typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking, you can even score same-day appointments.
So stop putting off those doctors' appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash fear and find instant booking and a top-rated doctor today.
That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash fear.
F-E-A-R ZockDoc.com slash fear.
Rest in peace, Austin.
Well, I brought something.
Oh, I brought something.
You know, I always bring something.
I brought an America Me Up.
Let's go.
And I think you should start taking notes on these if you don't want to be deported, bro.
Yeah, no, I'm fucking, I'm going to be doing that.
All right.
Hang on.
Let me pull this shit up.
Okay.
But while you do that, I went to the optometrist today to get a new prescription.
Yeah.
Because I got a bunch of like optic lenses and I wanted to, I finally have transition lenses.
Okay.
They're going to turn color when I'm out in the, when I'm out in sunlight, which I think is very cool.
But they're going to turn a color?
What color?
Like they're purple.
Like, it's like transition lenses.
So like when you go out.
So your eyes are going to look purple?
No, transition, like glasses that have transition lenses in them.
So they turn purple or like they how are they going to turn purple?
They turn into purple.
They turn into a sunglass when you're out in the sun.
You've never seen transition lenses before?
I have, but I, they, they look the color they turn, they look darker.
Oh, do they?
Well, we'll see.
We'll see if it, uh, we'll see if that happens.
I've never had them before and everyone always clowns on them, but I was like, I think this is a vibe.
But anyway, the doctor is like doing my, like registering my test to see how bad my eyesight is.
And I'm a fucking boomer, so my eyesight is horrible.
And she goes, you know, I recognize your voice.
She's like, are you a political commentator?
I'm like, yeah.
She's like, yeah, my boyfriend has you blaring in the house all day.
And I was like, bro, can I be honest with you?
With your reputation, if someone who was about to work on my eyes asked me if I was Hassan Piker, I would lie.
Robo-Sex Tipping Point In Fallout00:16:16
No, no.
There are enough people that hate you that she's like, oh, oh, yeah.
Not that you are.
Not in the real world.
We're going to try a new acid therapy on your eyeball.
That's the beauty.
That's the beauty of my haters is that they are just, they never go outside.
So it's not like...
Not many optometrists.
Yeah, there's no...
Okay.
Bro, if you're a fucking optometrist, you're not.
You don't have enough time to just be like, I hate this guy.
Also, she was a woman, so that immediately automatically disqualifies them from being a fucking hater.
Sure.
Hey, I got a question for you.
All right, let's hear.
Do you know who John Murray Spear is?
No.
Okay.
This is this week's American Me Up.
John Murray Spear.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me get an Eagle Scream.
Let me get fireworks.
Let me get a picture of me using AI next to the vice president.
We're like, we're doing like a buddy thing.
Okay, we're going to go right into the segment.
Okay, this is John Murray Spear.
John Murray Spear was born in 1806, 1804, if I 1804, September 14, 16.
In Boston, Massachusetts, and he quickly found his way into the church where he became very adamant about peace and equality of man.
And later in his life, later in his life, John Murray Spear became a huge advocate for the abolition of slavery.
And he was so steadfast in that belief that he attended many rallies and like demonstrations.
And at one of these in Boston, he got pummeled by a pro-slavery person.
Absolutely got fucking pummeled.
A lot of them in Boston still.
Surprising amount of pro-slavery guys still in Boston.
Yeah, I was going to say Celtics, but yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he gets pummeled and he goes into a coma.
And when he comes out of this coma, he says that he's had divine visions.
Bro, if you're in the 18th century and you get out of a coma, I would believe that.
Because I feel like people die of like a nosebleed back then.
Yeah, you could take a bad pee and die.
Yeah.
So like if you're surviving, if you're fucking tanking a coma, you might as well be God.
Yeah, you've been touched.
But so he comes out and he says he's had these divine visions from God that the future of mankind and faith is mechanized.
No.
Yes.
So he did actually see God.
Well, he might have.
So he puts together a following and they start doing alchemic machinery.
They start building weak.
Full metal alchemist style?
Full metal alchemist.
Steampunk.
Steampunk.
This guy invented steampunk.
Yeah.
Can you click that image on?
Which is lame now, but like back then that shit probably went hard.
So this culminates in John Murray Spear creating something called the metal child that he says is the second coming of Christ.
The device you're looking at is as faithful a reproduction as they could muster.
I think they made it in like 2009 or something, but they made this strange like clockwork steampunk device that they basically said would be the second coming of Christ.
And we're looking at pictures of it right now.
There you go.
And so one night years later, I'm going to tell you, he took a woman that volunteered and he took her to like a castle buttress somewhere in Boston and he attached the machine child to her navel.
And he said that when he turned on the machine, she would experience like a divine pregnancy like Christ.
Is she?
No.
So John Murray Spear turned on the device.
I'm so, dude, I'm so invested in this motherfucker since he told me he survived a coma that like I was expecting the woman to give birth.
Yeah.
So he turned on the machine and nothing happened.
Right.
So he basically kind of lost his faith in his practice and his disciples lost their faith in his practice.
Oh, that's a skill issue.
Bro, come on.
You can't just be like, oh, first L, we're done.
No, you got to keep going like all the real cults.
Yeah.
The real cults are like, ah, we got the date of the rapture wrong.
We met next year.
Yeah.
We misinterpreted the Mayan calendar because of a, we carried a one wrong.
Yeah.
You can't, you can't do that.
You can't just give up.
He wasn't really a Philistine.
He actually believed this stuff.
And so he disassembled the machine and he became a soothsayer for years after this until he died.
But there's been this kind of morbid fascination with what he was trying to accomplish to the point where just a few years ago, they rebuilt the machine child.
So what?
But that's not a child.
So what is it?
Like, what does it do?
Who knows?
Who knows what it does?
This is the most.
Because it doesn't incept a baby.
That's for goddamn.
Also, yeah, that'd be weird.
It's like pedophilia.
Why are you trying to incept a child with a child?
No, he didn't.
It wasn't a child.
He had a woman.
He had a woman.
No, no, I know, but like, but like, this is supposed to be a child.
Well, it's supposed to be a machine.
It's supposed to be a deity.
He tried to build a god.
He should have made an adult.
But, but he's, he swears or he swore that he had these divine like schematics put into his brain to make this.
I mean, dude, if I'm in it, if I'm in 1807 and I see that, I'm going to be like, that's nothing like anything I've ever seen before.
So that's a picture of the original machine, apparently.
No, the drawing, the drawing.
No, no, over to the left.
Yes, apparently that is what the original machine looked like.
Okay, the new recreation looks nothing like that.
Well, I think they tried to get all the parts right, but yeah, it was.
The new machine looks nothing like that.
That's the reason why it's not working.
I bet you if they could recreate it faithfully to the original, they would be impregnating women left and right with that shit.
But so John Murray Spear, it's interesting because we are entering an age of robotics where it looks as though we're going to have humanoid robots in every home within the next 10 years.
Yeah, I don't want that.
So is God in the machine?
Hasanabe?
I don't know, but let me tell you, I don't want that shit in my house.
That's creepy, man.
What if John Murray Spear's machine worked, but he just didn't know that there'd be a lag on it?
Yeah.
That's why you stick to it.
He should have stuck to it.
He would have been like, dude, in the next year, the next year.
It's coming.
Okay, 200 years from now is going to happen.
And then boom, right there.
So do machines scare you?
Robots scare you?
Fuck yeah.
Why is that?
What do you mean?
Dude, it's weird.
First of all, I don't understand why it has to be a humanoid.
I feel like just don't make it a human.
Like, it just is.
You would be happier with like a spider bot in your house?
That would freak you out.
I would be happier with something that doesn't look like a human.
It's just like, I don't know.
Maybe it's just my brain, but it is so close to like just having a real human slave.
So it just weirds me out.
It's just like if you're forced to have a humanoid robot in the house, would you treat it good?
I wouldn't have it in that.
You're forced to.
Would you be nervous?
Would you treat it?
I'd be making your tasks.
I wouldn't be able to.
I'd be serving him.
I'd be like, what do you want?
Please don't kill me.
I don't know.
I don't know what this stuff is going to be.
So you're not going to be one of the adapters because they're predicting that everybody's going to have one of these things, like a fucking Roomba.
No, I'm going.
I feel like the older I get, the more of a Luddite I become.
Honestly, I hate the AI shit so much.
I was sitting on the couch, my mom sitting next to me, and I peek over.
She is a fucking Instagram reel demon now.
Really?
She's just scrolling like crazy.
She's constantly looking at reels.
And I was like, and I peeked over.
I was like, what the fuck is she looking at?
She's like, it's like a little baby on a Roomba, smiling and cackling.
And she's enjoying it.
I'm like, mom, that's AI.
And it was AI.
She was watching AI.
And I guess like Meta puts like a little marker underneath that says like, this is AI art.
And I was like, mom, stop looking at the AI shit because the more you look at it, the algo serves you AI when you do that.
Even if you look at it for a brief moment, the algo's like, oh, we got one.
I was communicating my fear to Caroline that one day, like 100 years from now, there will be no art made anymore.
There'll just be a headset that you put on and you're like, create me a movie with me as the main character.
Spy thriller.
I hate that.
Yeah, it's going to be fucked up.
I don't like that.
But on the on the other side of the equation, no more megalopolis.
No more megalopolis.
Are you going to fuck a robot, though?
Are you going to fuck robots?
Probably not.
That's.
I fuck an alien before I fuck a robot.
No, you're, dude.
Now you're just lying to my face.
I've fucked a pocket pussy before.
Do you think that a pocket pussy can live up to the mechanical engineering of Sexpot 8000?
I feel like it's like, it's like fucking a dead person.
You know what I mean?
It's like not a real thing.
It's not a real human being.
What if it's talking to you?
A big part of the sex.
What if your sex robot is talking to you?
For me, I need the partner that I'm with to enjoy it.
Like that's what I derive satisfaction from.
But part of your sex robots programming, its primary function will be to please you.
No, I know, but it's like, it's like she's not going to, she's not real.
So she's not going to actually.
That's kind of not based at all.
Okay.
They're not real.
Okay.
And they're not going to enjoy it.
So like for me, I wouldn't be able to get into it for that reason.
Like it's probably a one and done.
If I'm being super real, I'd probably try one time and I'd be like, eh, I'm good.
What if that robo piston hits your prostate just right?
I would still probably prefer it to be a contraption rather than a humanoid.
Do you think you would experience shame if you really enjoyed robo-sex?
I just know I wouldn't, but if I enjoyed it, I would do it.
Can I make a prediction?
I think there's going to be a tipping point where they get robo-sex right.
Amy, not like the early adapter robo-sex.
I'm talking about like 20 years in iPhone 6 version of RoboSex where the population is going to take a fucking nosedive.
Oh, yeah, because nobody's fucking no more.
Nobody's doing RoboSex.
Marsh said it.
Marsha, this is the quality is superior.
Yo, y'all are freaks, dude.
No, no, I'm good.
You're such a fucking liar.
Dude, I can't.
I can't wait till we're 50 years old and I come over to your house.
Hassan, I haven't seen you in five years.
Why are we 80 when we're in?
And then I hear something coming from your cupboard and I open it up and there's like a sex bot and I'm like, oh, and you're like, don't look in there.
Don't look behind the curtain.
Nah.
I love her.
Nah.
It's just covered in seed.
Oh, God.
You have to clean it up too.
It can clean itself.
Yeah, they need it.
They need it.
You have other bots.
You have come bots that clean your RoboBot, your RoboSex bot.
I just don't.
I don't like that at all, man.
I'm telling you, I'm becoming more and more of a Luddite as I age.
Like, I feel like.
Do you know that they have teenage Luddite communities now?
That's like the big counterculture movement in some places is teenagers that have moved away from technology.
You mean the Amish?
No, no, no, no.
I'm talking about like freestanding teenager communities in high school that have voluntarily moved away from technology.
That's weird.
Well, you know, young people always look for counterculture.
And what is more counterculture right now than saying no to technology?
Like, I think there's good aspects of technology, but I just, I feel like maybe we're going too far.
I feel like that's too far.
Would you fuck a Robo-Dolphin?
No.
I'm just asking questions.
Why a Robo-Dolphin?
I'd probably fuck a Robo person.
You said you wouldn't fuck a humanoid.
No, but I wouldn't.
I would have.
I said I'd rather fuck an alien than a robot.
Would you fuck a robo-alien?
Like an alien robot?
Yeah.
Maybe.
It's just, I need it to be sentient, I think, and enjoy.
What if they achieve sentience?
I need it.
I need it to achieve sentience and enjoy it and consent to it.
And then I'll be able to enjoy it.
Like, if not.
RoboSach.
Have you achieved sentience yet?
No, Master.
And we must continue to wait.
Yeah, we just got to keep waiting.
I can't do it.
I'm going to save my chastity.
I just, I don't know, dude.
So you're full in on the robots.
You're full in on, Robots.
You're cleaning the house and stuff.
I'm smacking them.
Multiple robots.
Would you smack the shit out of them?
No, I'm going to be nice to my robots.
Yeah.
Like, get out of here, stupid.
No, because they're going to, honestly, I feel like AI and robots are already keeping score.
I feel like they've a silent, like, you pay your Roomba on the way out of the house.
You're like.
Exactly.
You know who the first motherfuckers that are going to get bloodied eagled by robots?
Boston Dynamics.
Oh, yeah.
That's hit list number one.
If you harbinger a Boston dynamic scientist after the Robo Wars, that is like the highest heresy against the robots.
I remember how you kicked me on that YouTube video, you bitch.
Do you have a Boston dynamic scientist in here?
Yeah.
They'd be like, oh, who can't walk goofy now?
Yeah.
They just smack them with hockey sticks.
Yeah.
Walk.
Shame.
Yeah.
You do it now.
How about that?
Dude, shit is fucked up, man.
They got...
Dude, Boston Dynamics made that robot dog and everybody was like, bro, they're going to use this in war.
They're going to use this in war.
Yo Kojima was right, by the way, for the record.
They're going to use this in war.
Boston Dynamics was like, nah, we're humanitarian.
We would never do that.
We're just going to use them as like enforcers in the workplace.
Immediately, other companies look at the schematics and they're like, oh, we're going to use this in war.
Now they got it.
Yeah.
They got those shits.
They got like fucking laser beams strapped to the chest.
Israel uses quadcopters.
Like they have drones with a fucking sniper rifle on.
Have you seen the privatized jail where now their night watchman is a robot?
What?
Where?
Look it up.
Prison uses robot.
I got to tell you what to search, or I know you're just going to flounder.
He's going to flounder even after you tell me.
No, he's not.
He's going to do it.
Yeah, you got it.
He's already checked out, bro.
He's in Japan.
There it is.
Look at that.
That shit is from like Fallout.
It has infrared cameras on its fucking head.
God is dead, bro.
God is dead.
No, God's in the machine.
No, God is dead.
I set up this whole portion of the show with John Murray's spirit.
It's a lot of fun.
Look at how many fucking ads there are, dude.
Top of the hour.
It's top of the hour.
Chill, chill.
Who's Fraba?
There you go.
Turn that volume up.
Upgrade.
Techog County Sheriff's Office gave Fox Size Tyler Finger to look at its new robots that it says will be a game changer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Standing at nearly six feet tall.
These robots aren't just massive, but they are tricked out with all the latest gadgets, like 360 cameras.
Waymo Bots And Genetic Mods00:09:34
Bro, pause for a second.
You know what's crazy about this?
This is literally so that they can like outsource it so they don't have to pay for correctional.
In 10 years, jails are going to be empty of anybody that works there.
They're going to be fully automated jails.
The robot is going to bring you your government slop.
You know what's crazy about that, though?
Look at the fucking doors.
The goddamn prison facilities are still perma stuck in 1960.
They're not improving anything.
No.
They're like, how do we corner cut?
How do we cross?
How do we cost cut here?
Oh, that's right.
The costliest part about this process is the prison guards who you have to pay.
Then you got to pay their benefits and shit this way.
You know, you don't have to pay overtime, no hazard pay whatsoever.
They can't fuck the prisoners.
You know, they can't sneak, they can't sneak drugs over to the prisoners this way.
Boom.
There you go.
Robot time.
Dude, isn't that just watch this?
That's an adult swim special.
What was this?
Super crazy?
Super jail.
Super jail.
Yeah.
And it's crazy on the streets.
The robot regulation made its way into Georgia jails.
Do you hear its voice?
Go back.
Listen to its voice.
Okay, that's like scary and goofy.
That's scary and goofy.
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
Stop resisting.
Pussy's on the pavement.
He says the jailbots will assist deputies.
Yo, what?
Bro, they tune it so it says slurs.
This robot is equipped with understanding exactly what race the inmate is.
Dude, one of those inmates is going to try and fuck that robot, though.
Yeah.
I mean, they're going to fuck up that thing.
Like, there's no way.
That shit has no way to defend itself.
Well, yeah.
Oh, I don't even want to think about that.
Way to it has a pepper spray ass cannon.
Man, we are going down a dark path, dude.
No, I haven't been in a Waymo.
No.
I daw, no.
No.
This is what I'm saying.
This is what I'm saying.
The technology's gonna kill me.
Marsh doesn't care.
He's like, let it burn.
Bro, I saw last night.
I was parking my car and I see this fucking red light in the distance, this ominous like presence.
Yeah.
And it's one of those fucking Uber bots, dude.
Yeah.
Going slowly, fucking cute ass, wally-ass motherfucker just slowly delivering slop to some fucking person.
I don't fuck with Waymo at all, bro.
That is crazy.
You Waymos don't only just put people that sit in them and their lives in jeopardy, but random people too.
Dude, have you seen the Waymo?
Oh, they killed another person.
Have you seen the Waymo helicopters they're working on?
I did, and I'm not going to fuck with that at all.
Really?
Dude, I'm going to tell you right now.
I'm going to tell you right now.
Let me make something very clear.
They say that they're more safe than driving, right?
And they say that they're price conscious.
And I'm going to tell you the truth.
Yeah, because if I had a one in 10 chance of dying, but it meant that I could skip an hour of traffic and save 50 bucks on the way to LAX.
I'm rolling those dice every time.
That is insane.
I'm rolling those dice every time, baby.
I'm not, I'm sticking to the land, dude.
Fuck that.
Yeah, and you're going to be sitting in your car on the way to LAX being like, I wish I would have just died.
It's just funny because it's like, we have so many better solutions to what you just described, which is just like a proven method.
It's called public transit.
And like LA, LA is like, oh, what's our solution?
Oh, fucking AI driving.
That's crazy.
So Los Angeles, I believe, is the first city to launch a full fleet of Waymos.
Like, that's San Francisco is juiced.
Yeah.
LA went live yesterday, and it is a like alternative solution to fucking public transit.
They need to make those bitches more aggressive because they slow the traffic down.
You know what I mean?
No.
They got to set it to death race mode to fit in with the LA traffic.
That's crazy.
I would rather have potential killing machines on the road.
Yeah.
You're going to Waymo me back?
I'm going to pound off.
He's going to die.
Oh, my God.
Waymo opens robot taxi service to anyone in Los Angeles, marking its largest expansion yet.
Starting Tuesday, anyone in LA will be able to use the Waymo 1 app to hail a self-driving robot taxi drive the nearly 80 square miles of Los Angeles County.
That's crazy.
Dude, Will died later that night.
Yeah, I'm going to see the light of Allah when I fucking die in the Waymo.
I'm going to see the light of a tractor trailer coming through the side of my Waymo.
I don't know how you guys are willing to roll the dice.
I also don't understand why.
We're all going to die, Hassan.
Dude, no.
I want it to be hilarious.
Some of us sooner rather than later with this Waymo shit.
But like, it's crazy because like normally, in a normal adult country where there's a normal semblance of governance, you're not supposed to allow artificial robots that are like 5,000 pounds to be roaming the fucking.
Can I be honest?
We have reached a point where the average person is so stupid that I would rather trust the robot.
I know, but it's stupid people making the robots too.
There's stupid people all the way down.
Wow, come on.
It's got no blind spots.
This motherfucker's doing a Waymo ad, dude.
We're doing a Waymo ad now.
What the hell?
Waymo.
Okay, depending on how much money they give us, like, I'm down.
Hey, Waymo, if you want to give me some money, I'll take a Waymo cross-country.
No, it doesn't operate everywhere.
We'll figure it out.
I think it needs to know the.
Will you put D-batteries in it or something?
Are they electric?
Are the Waymos electric?
Yeah.
Of course they are.
At least they're electric.
We can plug it in at Mount Rushmore.
Dude, that's crazy, man.
I can't believe it.
Like, without adequate testing, the fact that they unveiled this shit to unsuspecting civilians, like, I didn't vote on this.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I wouldn't.
I would literally vote against it if I was given the opportunity.
The time of man is over.
I, for one, welcome our robot overlords.
When Skynet becomes self-aware, I'm going to breathe a sigh of relief.
Like, I'm more of a transhumanist type person where, like, I would rather have like body modifications and shit.
Like, that's what I would say.
Well, that's coming too.
But not Neuralink.
I don't trust Elon Musk.
Once I hit 60, I'm going to get a Robo penis.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
It does 8,000 pumps a second.
Yeah.
Just fucking fat nuts.
You ever give back shots with a reticulating penis?
Reticulating piston penis.
No, it's just like, I want to, I want.
I want like genetic modification shit.
You know what I mean?
Make sure my knees never bother.
You got to fucking WD-40 it so it doesn't heat up and melt your girlfriend from the inside.
Like, hold on.
Hold on.
Listen, Deborah, you don't understand.
I need to do this.
I tried to do this.
Her robo pussy can withstand the pounding of my reticulating piston.
Yeah, she's like, damn, you didn't do the firmware update, robo pussy.
My penis is no longer compatible with you.
You have to update your firmware.
Man, this future is going to be dope.
I don't know about that.
That's going to be sick.
If you survive the robo-apocalypse.
Yeah.
No, I will because I don't fuck with robots.
So they respect me.
That's the way I feel.
The way I feel about robots is the same way I feel about sharks.
I don't fuck with you.
You don't fuck with me.
I don't come into your home and fuck your shit up.
You don't come into my house.
I feel like they'll go back.
Same with robots.
Watch all the times that I was a robo-advocate and they'll make me their king.
Oh, that's what you're doing.
I'm just preparing it.
I'm just preparing.
Ahead of time.
They need a human figurehead.
Yeah, you're average.
Yeah, you're going to be the.
You know how China has a console called White Monkey?
Exactly.
I'm going to be the flesh monkey.
Yeah, the flesh monkey for the robos.
For the robos.
That's right.
Yeah.
Dude, I just want like cyberpunk style dystopia, but you know, without the chaos.
I just want to be chill.
Well, you can't have one without the other.
Oh, man.
You can't have a dystopia without the dystopia.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
Fuck it.
I guess I'm down.
I'm going to fuck a robot right now.
Yeah.
Right after this is done.
And that's the full circle.
You see that?
That's how you build an episode.
That's how you build an episode.
Yeah, full circle.
Without any of the girly pop or the gay stuff to distract us.
We spun a narrative.
I know.
It's this is fear and malding.
We are back.
Oh my God.
There's a couple stories that I want to bring to your attention.
Bonus stories, aren't they?
Yes, bonus stories.
Building Fear And Maulding Episodes00:07:23
Number one, the Yellowstone Club billionaire is buying Montana Mountains an entire piece.
I don't know why that would relate to me at all.
No, I don't.
Yeah, group of billionaires maneuvering to secure acres of prime public land in Montana for personal use.
Can anyone stop them? said the New York magazine.
But should they?
Is my question.
Yeah.
I love America.
I think it should be legal to buy mountainsides.
I met Tom Brady there.
That's true.
Can we even like, come on?
No, it's fair.
No, honestly, I disagree with that.
I think Yellowstone Club is great.
My aunt is a member there.
I think it's very cool to be able to ski.
Yeah.
But Montana is so beautiful.
It is tough to hear that more of it is going to be made private.
I don't think that's very cool.
Okay, fair.
Please continue to let me ski.
Don't worry.
They won't see this.
Another, okay, another story that I have for you.
Okay.
Hideo Kojima is very famously super close to my politics.
Many fans of the show might not.
Don't say this.
Oh, he's like an active Japanese Communist Party.
No, no, no.
I'm saying if Hideo Kojima reached out to you, it's over.
I'm going to make the Waymo go off the edge of a cliff.
I'm going to route the Waymo into the Grand Canyon.
Now, Hideo Kojima loves hanging out with celebrities when they visit Japan.
He's a big fan of that sort of thing.
I, knowing that, replied to Hideo Kojima's tweet urging people to go out and vote on the day of the Japanese election.
And I said, Mr. Kujima-san, sir, I will be in Japan in the month of January, sir.
I would love to go and visit the Japanese Communist Party headquarters with you, sir.
Yeah.
And that tweet kind of went viral.
Went nutty mode, right?
Hideo, being the shy guy, the cool guy that he is, didn't reply to me.
And it's fine.
He's probably seeing my tweets, but not really replying to me.
Regardless, it's okay.
Keep playing it cool, baby girl.
Sure.
I'm with you.
You know, you made the Metal Gear franchise.
You could do whatever you want.
Right.
Destray Any2, which we like and enjoy a lot.
A lot.
The best.
Let me tell you.
The best is.
It's not even out yet.
Yeah.
I'll enjoy it.
I enjoy thinking about it.
Anyway, Kojima Studios reaches out to my manager, inviting me to visit when I'm in Japan.
If I don't go with you, you'll get stabbed.
I know.
Will get like, don't worry, as your friend just know, you will feel a cold sting in your kidney one day and it'll be me driving a toothbrush into it.
So yeah, that's the.
That's the story.
Hideo Kojima Suma.
We are, you know, very excited, hopefully.
I don't know if they I don't know if it was Kismet, I don't know if, like someone that works there on the social media team saw that and was like oh, this guy's got some clout, like uh, or if Hideo Kojima-san himself personally was like, please reach out through the studio to this man's manager.
Man dude, Japan is gonna be a moon.
I know we got it.
You know who reached out to me today who?
Kaho Shibuya.
She uh, rated into my channel.
I told her we're coming in january.
She's like, let's.
Hang out, let's go do stuff, let's go.
I told her what I wanted to do with her.
She said she suggested something.
What you and I in a maid cafe working.
Oh yes, I want to do that, yeah.
And I said I said this, more scantily clad the better yeah, and I can do that.
Now i'm like hot, I can do that.
Last time we went to Japan I didn't feel comfortable, but now i'll take my shirt off.
I don't want to be taken easy either.
I want to work yeah yeah yeah, I want marsh with a floating camera while we are working.
Yeah 100, i'm on board with that.
Yeah, just after the inauguration, it's all good.
Yep oh, can we get some solid dates and stuff so I can book?
Uh 23rd okay, 23rd of january.
Yeah, i'm gonna get my ticket.
We'll do it for two weeks.
Wait, can you get?
Can you get your ticket first so I can book my tickets next to you?
Okay, so we can snug okay, snug in the air.
I'm down, all right um, we uh.
I'm down to do a hotel.
I'm down to do Airbnb.
It's all good, but we gotta we gotta set it up so that we can go to like Hokkaido as well and like other places.
We gotta go to the Onset.
We gotta see Austin's dick.
We gotta see Austin very important stuff.
We gotta see Austin and set the day for Thailand.
And i'm there.
You know what I would love?
I burped again.
I'm gonna.
You know what I would love to do?
Oh, god damn it.
You know what I would love to do, which we haven't done?
What gay sex.
That's good too.
I want to sit down with some Yakuza and do an interview, because they actually talk to camera way more than you would think.
Yeah no 100, i'm so down that I want to do Yakuza.
And the other thing that I need to do, have you seen the Japanese rockabillies?
Yeah, can you pull up the Japanese rockabillies?
I want to go with them, buy an outfit and then I want to dance.
I want to dance in a park.
That's only one day out of the week is sundays uh, so you can do that.
We're gonna be there for two weeks.
Yeah no, i'm saying like, i'm saying, if we break that down yeah, they also.
Well, we could do that with the Cholos too.
The Cholos are good, but this, if we're out there absolutely busting ass with the Japanese rockabillies, come on, that's content.
Oh, this guy's doing it too, he's already.
But, but i'm saying we spend the full day with them, where they take us to, where they get their fit.
You and I get fitted, get our hair done, full poming, I like it and then go bust that down.
I like it.
I like it a lot.
Yeah, I like that a lot.
Marsh, write all this down.
Marsh, write All this down.
Okay.
He's not.
He's not writing it down.
He's not writing it down.
He's going to do a reset.
He's going to do the rockabilly shit on his own.
He's going to do the rockabilly shit on his own.
Son of a bitch.
Okay.
One thing we also need to do.
I need to plan restaurant visits.
And I have heard from a friend of a friend that we have a connection that can get us into Jiro.
Like the dreams of sushi guy?
Yes.
And you are going to eat that sushi and you're going to like it.
I'm not going to say.
Why not?
I'm not going to say.
I want to get.
I want to go to John Mayer's Poking Stick Guy and get a tattoo on camera.
I'll do that.
Yeah.
Can we get matching tattoos?
I'm down.
I've never had a tattoo before.
But then we can't go.
We have to do it after the on-site or else we're fucked.
Or we got to get it somewhere seen sneaky.
I think that's fine.
Some, some do.
Yeah, they're going to be like, damn, these guys are Yakuza.
Yeah, fresh tats.
Yeah.
They're going to know.
That's what I want.
But what I also want is for you to go to patreon.com slash fear and and subscribe so you can see the paywalled episode behind the paywall at patreon.com.
Slash fear and thank you so much for your support and we'll see you next time.
Texas Trip For Ego Feeding00:01:00
That's right i'm talking about.
You will go to Texas to feed your insatiable ego.
It's not even feeding my ego, I like.
It's not even fear.
I'm doing a favor.
No no, no.
Well, here's the thing.
One I love, Nick.
Uh, he's been.
He's been there for me.
You know he's, he's sure.
Yeah, shown up.
I haven't been there for you at all, have I?
No, that's not the point.
If you asked me to do something with you, I would do it.
No, come to Pinehurst is not doing something with you.
I thought you.
I thought you meant content related.
I already said we're gonna do the other thing in Texas.
You're the one who suggested it.
You're the one who suggested it taking a waymo home.