Fear and Stavvy navigate a chaotic family reunion marred by insults over Baltimore and Disney, before pivoting to Greek-Turkish tensions and promoting Stavvy's cult-leader comedy releasing October 25th. They dissect a Ravens fan's assault history, Liam Payne's death, and the eroticism in Zone of Interest. The discussion shifts to cheating accusations, Switzerland climbing trips, and debates on glory holes, while analyzing Cooper Koch's role in Monsters and its October 25th release. Finally, they weigh Ozempic weight loss against gym reluctance, concluding that their eclectic mix of personal drama and film promotion highlights the absurdity of modern media consumption. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Appropriation and Movie Budgets00:14:04
I don't know if it is.
I mean, it was under a million bucks.
Okay.
But still, I don't have a million dollars to just fucking make a movie.
You know what I mean?
Not all of us are Hassan.
What do you mean?
Yeah, buddy.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another fabulous, fantastic episode of the Fear Ann podcast where the family is back together again with a very extraordinarily special guest, Stavros Halkius.
Yes.
Movie star.
Well, I don't know about all that.
This motherfucker would not show up if it wasn't for something to promote.
Okay.
You shut the fuck up.
He lives in Baltimore.
He only hits me up when he's like, oh, I got a movie coming out.
Shut the fuck up.
I got a naked.
He literally leaves your fucking home.
Everything you do is here.
You make people fucking.
This motherfucker lives in a different city.
Yeah.
He flies in for a podcast, you fucking prick.
Okay, first of all, he should be living here.
That's not my fault.
That's his fault.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm going to uplift.
I'm going to move my life down here.
Family, everything.
Don't act like we're the weird ones.
That's the crazy thing.
We're not the weird ones.
No, someone new is here.
I am the victim.
That's crazy.
It's always how it goes until you sit here for a minute and you realize that I'm a gaslighter.
Right.
Anyway, regardless.
Everything, every negative stereotype about you gay people becomes true about you, actually.
You really are the treacherous treacherous homosexual my pastor warned me about.
I really am.
Everything.
Everything.
And there is an agenda.
And we're pushing it.
That's right.
That's right.
I went to Disney yesterday and brought everybody presents.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh, by the way, she didn't just go to Disney.
She went to Oogie Boogie Bash as Monsters Inc. with Jason DeWeen for the record.
You know what?
And I'm happy for that.
I love that.
I'm not.
And because he is specifically jealous.
He's very jealous.
I don't like it.
Because he doesn't leave his house.
I don't like her hanging out with other men.
He doesn't like to have fun.
Well, they won't.
Yeah, it's fucked up.
No, especially Ludwig.
Especially not Jason.
He's always rizzing.
He's not rizzing me.
I would like to.
He literally bought you a Cartier bracelet.
He did buy me a Cartier bracelet.
He bought you a Cartier bracelet.
We still are wearing the chain he got you.
Interesting stuff.
Disgusting.
I don't even know what's going on, but I actually.
I'm just a bit of a slut.
I have no context for what this is about.
Judy Cinderella is a hussy.
We're going to talk about that in a second.
Well, I'll give you presents first.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Give us your presents before we saw you're a hussy.
It's just nice to be here with the whole family.
It is.
You know, cutie, you weren't here the last.
I think I was here when you first debuted this room.
Yeah.
How do you like it?
I think this is a nice middle ground.
Yeah.
You know, you've pretty much neutered the vision you had.
I'm guessing after tons of criticism from Vitriol from the internet, you've sort of kind of saved face by barely having a different setup, just kind of moving the old into a different room.
We were supposed to paint it.
We never got around to a lot of things.
I'm a little tired.
It's okay.
We'll get to it.
Austin's favorite holiday is Christmas.
So I got you a countdown for Christmas.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Are you kidding me?
It's like chocolates for every day.
So sweet.
I know.
An advent count.
It's hard sometimes because I like to eat the chocolates ahead of time sometimes because you get stoned.
Yeah, if you want to drive them off and we can get started on it.
Marijuana, the natural enemy of the Advent.
Thank you so much, Cutie.
She's going to leave you hanging.
Oh, sorry, though.
He's hugging me.
Thank you.
I googled Stavros' favorite Disney movie.
Nothing came up.
Wow.
I wonder what mine is.
Probably Aladdin.
Oh, we talked about this last week.
Highly racist.
Oh, that's why I like it.
He likes the OG version.
So I got you a beanie with a montage of characters on it.
So maybe I got the right one.
But it doesn't look like Aladdin's on there at all.
That's like, bro, bro.
That's like when a mayor, that's like when Chicago mayor Lori Lifa wore the fucking NFL hat during the Super Bowl.
It's just like, I like just the Super Bowl.
All teams.
Yeah.
I tried.
Yeah.
That's kind of fire.
Shout out to Walt Disney.
Shout out to his views on the Jewish people.
I'm done.
I'm stuck.
Subscribe.
Yeah.
I taught him everything he knows.
Let's find his head and we'll put him back.
We'll bring him back to life any day now.
Get back to making the good cartoons.
None of these whoa.
I'm that kind of guy.
I'm a Disney anti-cancel culture guy.
Get movies racist again.
Disney racist.
Aladdin, too.
I know how much you love your backpack, Yoda.
So I got you a little one that sits on your shoulder.
Oh, my boy Grogu.
Okay, can I just say, I feel like this was a tactical gift from Cutie because now this way, Yoda will be Yoda will feel embarrassed.
Yoda will feel embarrassed.
Oh, is that the effort?
Well, no.
So I do.
I have a Yoda puppet that it's a problem.
Well, he's a problematic version of Yoda.
Oh, yeah.
Now you're speaking my language.
Does he have his cock out?
You've never met him.
Oh, yeah.
He relentlessly hits on Cutie Cinderella.
Yeah.
He shouts.
He asks her for feet pics and yellow like that.
Tells her to smile before he gets it.
Oh, yeah.
This is when you guys went to practice.
He really does jam his paw.
Yeah, this is sex pestioda right here.
Somebody too much my cheek.
He just looks like such a fucking burb.
That is, yeah, it is perfect.
He also goes up to automatic doors and opens them like a horse and then people around sexual favorites.
Yeah, Disney adults love that shit.
I got Hasana train.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
That's so cool.
Okay, I got the best gift.
Are you going to?
Oh, you can put it around your Christmas tree.
Yeah.
I'm Muslim, but we'll do that.
Get a Christmas tree.
What is the what is there?
Muslim Christmas?
Yeah, what's the closest to Muslim Christmas?
The Ramadan book.
We don't have anything.
The Ramadan Turks turns.
Did you arrive in December?
No, so here's what happened.
Turks saw Christmas and they're like, damn, that shit's dope.
Like people giving each other presents and stuff.
So we just like appropriated Christmas, but for New Year's.
Oh, you know what?
I got Marsha Demo Nightmare Before Christmas blanket.
Oh, very nice.
Yeah.
I'm sweet.
All of this, all of this to make us forget that she went to Oogie Boogie Bash with Jason.
I also got you tickets to Oogie Boogie Bash.
And I paid extra to get us tickets to the dessert party at Oogie Boogie Bash.
There's a dessert party.
We're spending the night.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I know.
And did you get our costumes yet?
It's on my assistants list.
Because I can get my costume if you need.
I've been scouting.
What are you doing?
Oh, yeah.
I'm doing Hades.
Okay, we're locked in with Hades.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I have a Hercules costume already.
Yeah, but is it the Disney Hercules?
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, you are not being Hercules.
Oh, we cannot have a Turkish Hercules.
I'm putting my foot down.
That's why.
Wait, we can have him be the Danny DeVito character, but you have to come show up as Hercules.
If I have to take a flight across the country to dress up as Hercules, I will.
Wow.
I didn't think about that.
Turkish.
Hercules.
Hercules.
Turkish.
Hercules.
Yeah, Turkiles.
Hercules?
Yeah.
That's real.
That's despicable.
Hercules was Turkish.
Everyone knows.
You want to talk about appropriation.
Everyone knows.
Everyone knows Hercules was Turkish.
Okay.
So is Troy.
Stop.
So is Troy.
Stop.
In Turkey, by the way.
You have to stop.
Troy is in Turkey.
Yeah, and who got their asses fucked by the horse, idiot?
Who was stupid enough to fucking let a big-ass horse in?
Typical horse.
Oh, yeah, we're all gone.
We're all gone.
Bam, we're fucking your shit up.
While you're sleeping, while your fucking shit is.
Your belly's full of Kufta.
We're up there fucking you up at night.
Typical Greek with their tricksters.
Is the warranty regime?
Smart, bro.
I don't know how they hated each other.
I didn't know the Trojan horse was still hot.
That's what I'm saying.
We've never recovered.
Yeah, we've never recovered from it.
Well, I mean, well, 1453.
No, dare I say.
What is it called again?
Constantinople?
No, that's right.
It's called Istanbul.
There's something, QT, as I understand it.
There's some tension between the Greeks and the Turks, and then the Armenians are somewhere in there, too.
And it's just a mess.
Smart.
Some other bad stuff.
Okay, to be fair, the Armenian thing is like very bad, like much worse.
At least we're just talking about it.
Which you've denounced, right?
Yes.
What do you mean?
That yes did start.
What a good start.
Full-thrown, nothing for it.
What a good start.
Like, the three Turks rivalries, like, at least the Byzantine Empire was like an empire, you know what I mean?
Which we ended.
Whatever, dude.
We had a great run.
I missed that class that you guys are talking about.
Yeah.
No, we only learned about the relevant history, like, you know, World War II and the Civil War.
Yeah.
You know, you know a lot about that stuff?
I do.
It's not too much.
It's weird.
What?
World War II?
Yeah, I like to watch a good shot.
It's his favorite war.
Yeah, it's his favorite war.
He made interesting.
He made a hot young Twink watch Zone of Interest one time.
Oh, no, dude.
Okay, Kamathan gets the bussies popping.
No, like Zone of Interest.
The claim he.
That's not even like an excitement.
That's just sad.
They fucked up.
They claimed that I had sex during Zone of Interest.
That's what I was saying.
You did.
You paused it.
No, I did.
I turned it off.
I closed in that for.
What point did you?
How far into the movie?
Look, it was.
And what made your dick hard?
No.
What about Zone of Interest made your dick hard?
There was nothing about the movie that made anything around.
Look, we turned it off.
It had nothing to do with the movie.
Was there a buffer?
No.
Did you put on, like, I don't know, Parks and Rec for 10 minutes?
No, we just as like a fucking juxtaposition is too damning, though.
No, we turned it off.
Okay.
Okay.
And then how quickly kissing was on?
What is the appropriate amount of time post-turning it off?
After Auschwitz?
No, I think at least seven.
Yeah, yeah, I'd give it seven or eight.
I think seven minutes minute.
Okay, look, first.
11.
You know what the appropriate is?
An episode of Octin on your face.
11 minutes.
Let the recording.
Not a full show.
It was not on, and I don't remember.
Nothing in the movie was associated with the act.
Okay.
I had a friend who.
Why?
Nothing in the movie was associated with the act.
We were living in a different movie.
You didn't do a role.
We weren't.
No.
Oh, my God.
No.
None of us.
I had a friend who got top in the theater during Passion of the Christ.
That's cool, though.
That's cool.
That's cool.
I don't know.
I don't know that.
I don't remember.
Awesome.
He loves wearing a cross and stuff.
I would love that.
Passion of the Christ.
That's the shtick.
That makes sense, though, because that's that there is way more eroticism running through that story than there is zone of interest.
Well, Jesus is sexy, it's charged.
And Jesus, yeah, look at what they did to Jesus.
They made him homo erotic.
They did.
And now there's a bunch of gays in West Hollywood dressing like him for Halloween.
That is true.
You know what I mean?
That's what they did to him.
They're too hot.
They made him so hot.
You should have so much shame and stuff associated with religion that I can see something fucked up happening.
I can see no scenario for how to make sure to look.
Get you fucking horny.
It didn't.
I was already going into it.
Yeah, I see.
I told you he loves.
He loves World War II.
I do.
I love World War II.
I fall asleep to documenting.
That's an old.
That's sort of.
My grandfather was a veteran.
That's an old guy.
Which is why I always asked him to be a man.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah.
If he was still alive, he'd be 100 years old.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I'm serious.
Wait, is this the one that's easy?
He's Lebanese.
He's all saying anti-Israel one, too.
But he's anti-the state of Israel.
Sure.
He loves the Jewish.
Yeah, what do you mean?
That's what I think.
Always did.
Why'd you feel the need to correct me?
I said the same thing.
He wanted to say his grandfather's a lot different than you.
He just wanted to make that clear.
No, yeah.
He was.
My grandfather was a Lebanese immigrant.
Oh.
Actually, no, he wasn't.
He was Lebanese, but he was first-generation American.
Yeah.
Damn.
Trying to do the math here.
World War II.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
Both of my grandparents were in World War II.
Or both my grandpas.
Really?
Yeah, we have old grandparents.
Yeah.
You know, my grandmother also was in World War II.
She had to flee the Nazis.
Her family was communist.
Oh, she had to flee to Bulgaria.
I thought she fought.
I thought you were going to say she was in Germany.
No, no.
She was in northern Greece, and her dad was a communist, and they fled to Bulgaria.
Why did they go to Turkey?
Come on, dude.
Be serious for once in your life.
We're having a real discussion about Edama family histories.
We were just going to get to Will's old father that he might have thought I missed, but that sounds fucking interesting as well.
Oh, yeah, my dad's 94.
Yeah.
Still kicking.
Grandparents, WWII, and Shopify00:02:55
Still loving it.
Loving life.
Moving around good.
Stepmom?
No, But I have stepbrothers.
Okay.
Much younger mom than you don't stay 94 with your same wife and still kicking.
You beg for death.
You've got a 94-year-old wife.
That's a man that if he still has Joie de Viv, he's got a younger wife for sure.
And that goes for old ladies that are still kicking too, by the way.
My grandma is begging for death right now.
It's because she never got remarried after my grandfather.
That's my hypothesis.
Wait, she should have been chilling by herself.
Yeah.
How many years now?
A long time.
You should do like a Jewish video video for like have a 20 lineup and have her idea.
Yeah, I think that's it.
She's 90.
She's shirtless chipping someone.
She's got to pop the balloon every time.
What am I?
She forgets every time.
Everybody sets her minute long montage of our product hands trying to pop a balloon.
Hoint, hoi, hoi.
That's so funny, Hassan.
Wait a minute.
You're not Hassan.
I'm not Hassan, but you know what?
I am an entrepreneur.
Oh, I knew that about you.
And I've been selling things.
Really?
What you been selling?
Just like gadgets and gizmos.
Okay, and where do you sell them?
On Shopify.
Of course.
Yeah, that's right, guys.
Upgrade your business today.
And what else?
I once tried.
I got so distracted by your beautiful hair today.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
I once tried to sell gizmos and doodads, but I tried to do it at a roadside shop.
Oh, no good.
You've got to do it online.
I've got to get a lot of people to buy vagrants.
Wow.
Should have used Shopify.
You should use Shopify.
What does Shopify do?
Well, guys, Shopify, you need to know.
It helps you grow your business because it helps you list and sell more in an easy way.
Because let's be honest, I'm not the smartest tool in the shed, but Shopify helps me.
However, you should know that you should go to shopify.com slash fear.
That's right.
Upgrade your selling today because they've got different things, different tiers of selling.
And so you got to upgrade by going to shopocade shopify.com slash fear.
Okay.
You got to upgrade.
You know, Hassan actually uses Shopify with his merch and he's very successful with it.
I also sold my merch with Shopify.
I don't know why I started.
I didn't start there.
Instead, I decided to talk about my game.
Why did you make up about gadgets and gifts?
I thought it was stress sometimes.
But you know what doesn't make me stress?
Shopify.
That's an interesting idea.
I like that.
Yeah, thank you.
I've got lots of good ideas.
Well, you should have, I have a lot of opinions on trick-or-treating.
I think adults should be able to trick-or-treating.
You should be able to.
Yeah, I think it should be normalized.
I'm just telling him my ideas.
Little People and Gated Communities00:05:50
You talk about the same thing every goddamn day.
Let me talk about Halloween trigger-treating.
Yeah, I will say that that should not happen.
Why?
And that you need to maybe examine the things in your life that want you to be reliving your childhood over and over again.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I want to see how much you've cost him.
He hits you with the psycho.
Damn.
I don't even want to trick-or-treat.
I want to give out candy.
I'm sorry.
I'm giving.
All right.
That's fair.
Yeah, no kids do it anymore.
That's cooler because that's your role in the circle of life.
If I'm going to take kids out with razor blades, I want adults going too.
Okay, I see that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't even trick-or treat anymore because of woke.
Before we get too deep in the podcast, because there are people that tune in, they watch like 10 minutes.
I want to talk about your movie.
Thank you.
I want to plug up the movie.
Because I watched the trailer and it looks fucking hilarious.
Thank you so much.
Hopefully, by tomorrow, I mean, I don't know when this comes out, but we'll be at the premiere.
Everybody's come.
You got to go.
You know, you're a working boy.
I get that.
Yep.
I'll be there late night, though.
You'll be there late night.
With the bells on.
I can't.
You better be looking cute.
Yeah.
Let's start a cult.
It's a movie that I co-wrote and I'm a star in.
And it's about a guy who is an occult who's so annoying that everybody kills themselves without him.
They leave him out.
Spoiler on.
And he has to start his life over, start his own cult afterwards.
Right.
So that's sort of what we're looking at, you know, just a dump, very stupid movie.
I love stupid shit.
No, no, no lessons to be learned.
There's no heart here.
Perfect.
This is just a good old-fashioned, dumb.
Dumb.
Turn your brain off.
Did you do any cult research to prepare for?
I did no research whatsoever.
I did absolutely none.
And people keep asking.
They're like, they're fascinated about cults.
I'm like, not your guy.
I did a bunch of cult research to prepare for what cults you based your cult on.
No, dude, nothing.
I don't know.
I won't throw that right the fuck out.
No, give me your research, though.
The Raelians.
Raelians.
Church of the New Day.
Jonestown.
I thought there was Shades of Jonestown.
A little bit of that.
Yeah.
Church of Jesus Christ.
This one is the one with the Nike Trailbrazer shoes.
That's the Jonestown, right?
Jonestown, yeah.
They're sick.
Those are from Oregon.
There's one from Oregon.
Isn't that the one?
There's a lot from Oregon, I think.
I think the Rajneeshi mode.
The Rajneeshi.
The Rajneesh.
I mean, research that.
He had interesting sexual beliefs.
Yes.
Love those guys.
I mean, you got to tip your hat to them.
Yeah.
You know what they eventually got in trouble for?
Attacks, right?
Well, they also tried to give a bunch of people salmonella, and then they tried to assassinate.
That's right.
That's awesome.
Yeah, my dad said he went down there one time to check it out.
Okay.
Yeah.
The Rajneeshi.
You almost joined it.
No, no, no, no.
Because he lived in Oregon.
It was in southern, I don't know what part of Oregon.
He didn't like go down there to like join a cold, but he like went down there where they were all kind of hanging out and he said it was fucking.
Oh my God.
We had the worst thing that we would do in high school.
This sounds really mean, but I want everyone to know this was 10 years ago.
Okay.
Okay.
This was, I guess, more than that.
I don't know.
How the math works on that?
12 years ago.
Anyway, there was this.
This sounds really mean, but I'm sorry, you guys.
Look at my child.
There was this community.
It was like a gated community, but it was all little people.
And I like where this is going.
Teenagers.
Take acid and get lost in that neighborhood.
Can you imagine that?
Taking a wrong turn and be like, oh, what the fuck's going on?
You think you fucking lost your mind?
Go ahead.
And teenagers, teenagers would like drive to it and like break through the gated community.
Break through?
Yeah.
Why did they just step over it?
Go.
Well.
It was a normal size gate.
Stop, bro.
I don't think they live in like tiny homes.
That would be so.
They had very normal people.
If everything was shrunk down, that would be cool.
That would actually be fun.
It would be cool, but they didn't.
They had very normal houses and they obviously had the gate because they probably were harassed their whole lives.
Of course.
But the teenagers would break through and they'd go and throw rocks at their houses until a little person came out and yelled at them and chased them away.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Isn't that sad?
That is so horrible.
I know.
But then all the people would go to school on Monday and be like, yeah, I got chased.
And so then other people would want to go and see the little people.
It was so sad.
Oh my God.
Why did they have an like there was their own subdivision?
Yeah.
And it had a gate.
How did you, what was it?
Why was it just like they happened to all move there?
Or was it like what?
No, I'm weird.
I don't think you think that some coincidence randomly.
By crazy random happenstance, a gated community was populated entirely by tiny people.
Like they walked out one day.
Can you fucking believe me?
Well, no, I just, well, how did they all decide?
Who, what developer?
That's a great question.
Clearly.
Developer.
It's like, I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, target a particular demographic.
Where was this geography?
Where did you go to Washington?
Washington.
Clearly, they didn't develop it for little people because they would have done the small house idea.
Because they just had little people, which would be cool.
But since you said you went down there to check it out, I remember one time in high school, I was with the wrong crowd and they were like, let's go to little towns.
You didn't go to the little town.
I didn't go.
No, I made them drop me off two blocks away and I sat on the curb by myself because I was the prude Mormon girl and I never went and they came back with stories.
They were not the non-Mormons were doing the harassing.
Yeah.
Mormons were never nice.
You are.
There had to be a Mormon or two in there.
They are nice.
Why are you making that?
Ronnie Movie Ideas in Baltimore00:06:54
I got you a fucking trained dumbass.
Don't make that noise.
True.
Jesus Christ.
True.
Piss me off.
I want to dial back from the very problematic attack on little people.
The thing is, you guys got to move forward because I can only hold myself back so long.
Before I really sick my team.
So if we could just communicate instants.
Really?
So why did you decide to write a movie about cults?
Dude, honestly, the whole idea was because, well, first of all, cults are funny as shit because the funniest things is somebody, my favorite type of humor is like movie characters anywhere really dumb, really confident people.
Like you're like straight up from like Adam Sandler to classic Will Farrell characters to like Kenny Powers, Tommy, like all that.
That's like a classic thing that I think I like portraying.
Lovable idiot battling against his own incompetence.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but who doesn't even really know?
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, and there's no, and there is no better place, I would think, than for like confident but wrong than a cult.
Because people are so confident that they're like, yeah, I'm going to just.
This guy says he needs to fuck our wife so bad to give me powers.
You know what I mean?
It's like, let's see.
You know, the end night shameless.
No, no.
And it's all true.
I wish.
Fuck, I should.
At the end, I should have just been like levitating.
Sending the whale.
Did you guys see the whale?
Oh, yeah.
That end is.
No spoilers.
That's something.
One of the best things I've ever seen in my life.
I've never laughed harder or anything.
But yeah, I don't know.
I just, it honestly was just like, let's make a dumb, fun character.
And also, I didn't want to make something that was like meant anything to me.
I just wanted something dumb and stupid and fun.
Yeah.
Let's just see what happens.
This is your first feature length, right?
Yeah.
How did you enjoy making it?
It was fucking cool.
I mean, like making a movie is hard as fuck.
Yeah.
That's that I did not stand up.
It's so easy.
It's so much like hurry up and wait.
So much, dude.
Hanging out, just fucking having to.
And you think you're going to be like an actor and be like, oh, I get to fucking really play out the scene.
You don't matter at all.
Like we had like one scene on a golf cart and they're like, okay, well, the sun is setting.
And unless you get this right, the scene's going to be cost us 10 million.
And by the way, the golf cart's too loud.
Like the gas is too loud.
So you have to say your lines in between accelerating.
Yeah.
So just time all the mic shit right.
So none of it is like about being good at it.
It's just like getting it done.
And so, dude, I just fucking, I straight up did not think they were going to let me make a movie at any point.
And at every point, they're like, okay, that sounds like a good idea.
Write the script.
I was like, really?
Who's they?
Yeah, who's a production company?
Like, just came like... Big Hollywood?
No, not big.
Did they pay for it?
Shout out to Dark Sky Films.
Yeah, they pay for it.
Okay, hell yeah.
Does a movie cost a lot of money?
Is it budget for this public?
I don't know if it is.
I mean, it was under a million bucks.
Okay.
But still, I don't have a million dollars to just fucking make a movie.
You know what I mean?
Not all of us are Hassan.
What do you mean?
Yeah, why don't you make any movies?
What are you doing?
What do you got to do?
Make the Trojan horse.
Maybe make a twist on it where Shore wins this time.
The guy who doesn't even listen to music writes a movie.
What do you listen to?
It would just be about a train.
Snow Piercer was a banger.
He's just got a good checking.
Yeah.
Snow Piercer was good.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Invest in me, bro.
Yeah.
That's allowed.
That'd be cool.
You should invest in people.
That's a good idea.
Let's not talk about me.
Why not, dude?
I'm already dealing with a lot right now.
I'm so glad you made the film, though, because I watched the trailer and I was so hyped.
I mean, you mentioned your influences and I immediately got that.
And I'll be honest, I haven't seen a comedy that just, the purpose of it is to be stupid and funny.
Yeah, dude.
That's so long.
That's the whole point.
I don't know, man.
Comedy, I do feel like something changed where you had to have a message.
And it's like, who gives a fuck?
I'm stupid.
I decided to not have a real job when I was 19.
I don't need, you know, like, I have opinions.
You don't need to hear them from me.
You need to see me fucking doing dumb bullshit.
You know what I mean?
You need to see, like, you know, I don't, like, just slapstick stuff, you know, me running around real fat.
Can I suggest something?
In true SNL fashion, when are we going to get the Ronnie movie?
Oh, yeah.
What's that?
I have a character I do, a Baltimore.
Marge, pull it up.
It's not just a character.
It's like a sensation.
He has worked directly for the Baltimore Ravens.
Yeah, yeah.
This character, they put you on the jumbotron, right?
I like that.
I like to think that's what I do.
Suspiciously, they put you in contact with the Baltimore Ravens after this podcast where you did the Ronnie character.
I'm just saying.
Really?
You think the Baltimore Ravens organization is a big fear handler?
Watch us.
Here's the pitch, though.
Ready?
Yeah.
Baltimore Ravens, if they make the playoffs again this year, right?
You go back and you make it like uncut gems leading into a historical event and all the weird things that happen in a playoff game.
I love that.
Like Ronnie goes and tries to poison Patrick Mahomes.
It's like the plot of the movie.
Yeah, I love that.
And then you die at the end.
I think I can get Magic Ravens.
Yeah, I'm sure.
I think I could pull some strings.
I love that idea.
I definitely do want to do some Ronnie shit, whether it's a TV show or a movie, but that could be a fun movie to just shoot in Baltimore for like pretty cheap.
Yeah.
Just make it shitty.
Oh, yeah.
Or what if it's Ronnie's movie?
What if Ronnie is a movie?
Ronnie is an arrest.
It's like a propaganda piece for Baltimore.
I love that.
Oh, roll the tape for people that don't know.
This is an old one.
I don't know what we got here.
Uh-oh.
Oh, my fucking God, yo.
Today is a dark day to be a Ravens fan.
Hardball fucking socks.
How the fuck are you going to lose to all the fucking dolphins, yo?
How the fuck are you going to lose the two inches toggle of the buckler?
Yo, you didn't even get pussy in college, yo.
This was fucking religious.
That's true.
I just have to illustrate two things.
If you don't know people from Baltimore, specifically like the Dundalk area, that voice is tough.
The character is bang on.
Oh, yeah.
It's bang on.
Those hard O's.
Propaganda Piece for Ravens Fans00:02:52
Watch out.
We own the, is it we own the name?
No, no, it's We Own the City.
We own the City, which is a real story about the Baltimore Police Department's like gun division, I think, like violent crime and gun unit.
And they basically re-shot it as like a docu drama.
It's great.
The main character's accent is spot on.
John Bernthal does an incredible job.
Yeah, John Bernthal is basically biting your shit.
Yeah, he is.
I gotta do words with him.
But he fucking crushed it.
Yeah.
No, we'll get it.
We'll get a Ronnie movie.
I just hope people go see this fucking movie.
Just go see a dumb movie.
When's the date?
When's the date of it?
October 25th.
Where can people see it?
They can see it.
We're on a handful of big cities right now.
We're trying to get more, you know, New York, LA, Chicago.
Can you buy tickets on the website?
Yeah, stavi.biz slash movie.
And we're going to link that in the comments below, ladies and gentlemen.
Kstavi.biz slash movie.
Even if you don't have time to go see the movie, buy a fucking ticket.
Yeah, buy a ticket.
Buy a fucking ticket.
It's so funny, kitty.
But folks, I want to talk to you for a second.
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Football Fights and Party Tricks00:10:31
So speaking of Baltimore Ravens, I think that there was a Baltimore Ravens fan that was in a little bit of a hot water meeting.
And I would like to hear what your perspective is.
What happened?
We have to pull the clip up.
Look, the guy, look, the emotions are running high.
Let it run first.
Let it run first.
While he's pulling the clip up.
Type in Baltimore Ravens fan assaults to Washington.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's get some more neutral language.
While he's pulling that up, though, I did have one gripe with the film.
Yeah.
I didn't get a call.
Sorry, man.
Can I get a call next time?
You can get a call next time.
Absolutely.
Yeah, did you know you're on a budget?
I'll do full moon.
I would like to get huge.
I'll have a show home.
Oh, I've got something to talk about later.
So you pulled it out.
Yeah, I'll tell you.
I wanted you to react to this as potentially even Ronnie.
Like, how would Ronnie react to it?
Oh, I'll tell you.
Okay, you want me to react as Ronnie?
Let's watch it first.
Let's watch it first.
Okay.
Ravens won the game and the fight yesterday.
Check out Lamar Jackson here with the kick, the right hook, shit.
The other guy pins him up against the wall.
Scurries out of there.
Escapes the pocket, kind of like Jaden Daniels.
But man, I would not getting props for that.
I mean, look.
Yeah.
Way out of line.
Inappropriate.
But I'm going to jump in before you say anything because this guy's a fucking monster.
Yeah, I mean, before you say anything to support him, has come out about this guy.
Oh, really?
And he's like sexually assaulted, mentally handicapped people.
I was Jesus Christ.
Why don't you let him die on the curves?
No, I saw Austin about doing his mouth and I had to die on that.
He was going to let me walk right into it.
He was going to let you walk into a threshold.
Well, first of all, what I was going to say is fuck this guy.
That's right.
That's what I was saying.
He got thrown out of a threshold.
I don't know if this is substantiated, but I read that he got thrown out of a boarding school for putting his penis on a mentally handicapped kid's shoulder.
Oh, my God.
And then he parrot.
Yes.
Interesting.
Why would you?
I'm just wondering, just a point of clarification.
Not a judgment, one way or the other.
And his parents are funny if they are consensual.
Yeah, that's right.
But he has been fired from his job and he's facing eight years in prison.
I mean, what happened was, well, the thing we just saw is a guy just amped from the wind, looked for random people.
He had no clue.
He called them stragglers.
And he just hit them.
It was insane.
Wait, so he just went to beat the shit out of them for nothing?
He was for nothing.
And they won the game.
They won.
They won the game.
They won.
Jesus beat this shit out of people.
Completely innocent people that were just having a good time.
This reminds me when I went to a Seattle Seahawks game when I was like 18, I was in the 300-level seats and I got fucking bullied the entire way down.
All the way, 18 years old, fucking nerdy little hat.
I looked like a loser.
I looked like I deserved it.
Were you wearing like Viking shorts?
Oh, you were dressing me up.
Lanyard, my Vikings jersey, my hat.
I was 18.
I was just getting bullied.
You suck.
Spit flying in.
Fuck.
Those guys are cowards, but you were so harmless that they were like, yeah, they thought I was an easy.
And my dad was like, hey, knock it off.
Chill out.
I saw a group of Guidos beat the absolute shit out of someone at a Rutgers football game when I was like 21 years old.
Oh my God.
I forget what team they were.
Not even a good fucking football program.
No, it's not even worse.
Scarlet Knights got slaughtered and they just beat the absolute shit out of someone.
And I was traumatized by that.
Oh my God.
I mean, it really does turn your, it's so like you turn like tribal when you watch sports.
That never happens in the club level.
Yeah, that's true.
Just a couple terse terse words.
Club level dog.
I've seen you watch football on that couch out there on any given Sunday where you turn into a demon.
No, because we watched a game, Vikings fan Jets game recently, and we were very cordial.
Yeah, it's very respectful.
When I'm in the presence of another fan, I'm very respectful.
When I'm in the presence of you, I'm not.
Interesting.
Also, I think the Jets are so broken down at this point that anything you say about my team, I'll probably back.
Also, Will scares the shit out of me.
Why would I?
Why would I?
I'm in his house.
Why would I go get in his face and say, fucking pussy, fuck the Jets?
Is there someone you would do that to?
I don't know.
Yeah.
There's some people.
I have to determine their physical prowess.
Yeah, sure.
But are you going to go full circle and bully some 18-faced pimple-facing Green Bay fan?
No, no, no.
I'm very respectful.
If you go and you support your team, I respect it.
Right.
Right.
Right?
Yep.
I will hate your team from a distance.
Sure.
And I will hate your team.
And it won't be personal.
And it won't be personal.
You can respect and cheer for your team, but I'll never get on you for like.
I would never fight another fan because I think there's like an unwritten unity there.
You literally.
Okay.
Okay.
I have to cut in here.
Maybe not physically, but I have literally seen you back in the day when Will was like becoming kind of internet famous early on on his like Twitch journey.
Yes.
Post-BuzzFeed.
So we already had like an audience of people who knew him.
He would treat his Twitter account like it was one of those like anonymous throwaway burner accounts as he would talking shit on Twitter about the Jets is different than Physics Tracker's.
He just beat the those guys had no idea what was going on.
No, Will was crazy.
He would key search things like no one's adding him.
He would key search things about the Jets to go and duke it out in the quad jets to this day.
Yeah.
To go and duke it out in the comments with like random fucking to organize.
I gotta see you with the gossip.
That's crazy.
Swifties do the same thing for Taylor Swift.
You realize that?
There's your connection party.
Is that your have you ever?
No, no.
I'm a Kansas City Chiefs fan.
Oh, you are.
I love football.
Oh, because of T-shirts.
He threw a Super Bowl party.
I did.
Interesting.
Well, I just like doing parties.
Sure.
I like eating snacks.
Yeah.
So that's fine.
It was delicious.
Always.
Fantastic.
What was the spread?
Oh, it was impressive.
It was a lot of fun.
It was one of those sliders.
Devil's like three different dips.
I had everything.
Peace and love.
Brownies cookies.
Peace and love.
But I will never go to one of those parties.
Wow.
I cannot go to a football.
But here's what.
I got to explain.
I have to explain.
I cannot go to football parties where people don't watch football.
Nothing irks me more than trying to watch a game, and everybody has no interest in that.
I agree with you.
If it's my team, I can't go to those parties.
It freaks me out.
Also, like, If I'm watching football, I'm at a game, and it's my team, I can't be in a box.
Can't be in a box.
Can't be in a box.
Yeah, that's a theme in your life.
I gotta be in.
I gotta be Austin can't be in the box.
I gotta be down with the fans.
Do you watch the fans?
For the people if you walk, if everybody watched it, I'd go.
But if I feel like I would get really antsy with everyone, I'll be honest, I was in the kitchen the whole time.
Yeah, it's an opportunity to entertain.
Yeah, you must love throwing dinner parties.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She does throw incredible parties.
She's an incredible, it's a me.
She's a Michelin star chef.
Michelin star.
No, yes.
I don't think he knows what that means.
I don't know what that means.
You're a really good cook.
I am a good cook.
Yeah, she's really good.
Is it self-taught?
No, I went to culinary school.
Oh, she's shit.
But I did.
Mostly.
That's awesome.
I learned more on the fly.
Yeah.
Do you ever cook in like a kitchen?
Yeah, I worked at a bakery.
I was a pastry chef for a few years.
Oh, yeah.
She makes really good.
She bakes more now than she did then.
Not true.
You're baking every day, girl.
Bozo.
I worked at a baked every day when I clocked in at 4 a.m.
And I did.
She's put in eight hours.
How long did you work at the bakery?
Like, total?
I want to say like three years as pastry chef.
You worked that long.
Yeah.
And then two years as a wedding cake designer.
I just take back what I said.
They moved you up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I worked my way up.
You were a white collar.
You're a white-collar baker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's your, what's the number one, number one thing to bake, number one dessert for you for enjoyment purposes?
And then what do you enjoy baking?
Oh, for enjoyment, I like key lime pie.
Wow.
Which I know is your favorite too.
I know that.
Have you ever made me a key lime pie?
Yes, I made many key lime pies and I brought them.
Oh, yeah, they were delicious.
It doesn't even fucking give.
They can't even remember.
I got a gamer brain.
She made me a penis cake for my birthday last year.
Wow.
Yeah.
It was coming and everything.
What kind of base was in there?
I think it was Funfetti.
Funfetti.
The most closely ever sweet.
I would have all the nose if you ask me, but that's all right.
I don't have much of a sweet tooth.
When you work in the bakery, you just lose it.
You lose it.
Wow.
Because I would like have a brownie at like 8 a.m.
Dude, she also has a superpower.
I swear to this is hand of God.
I was with you one time when you opened a scolding hot oven.
Oh, yeah.
And just took the baking tray out and put it down.
And I literally was like, and she's like, oh, I got dragon hands.
And I was like, what in the it was honestly like watching the Khaleesi walk out of the flames because she didn't flinch, didn't anything.
Yeah, I have no feeling.
Well, because my head pastry chef when I started, she um, we weren't allowed to have timers because the beeping was annoying.
You had to be one with your oven.
And everyone had an oven with like eight racks on it, right?
That sounds pretty cool to be one with your oven and also one with your oven.
Was it a funny one?
You slow down if you put your gloves on.
So you just pull them out.
Wow.
The fast remove.
So I've kept it.
I don't have any.
I can still use it.
Did you just kill all the nerve injuries?
Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
Jesus.
It was like, you know, a surgeon slows down when he puts surgical gloves on.
So he has to fucking get in there.
She was insane.
She ended up leaving and like working on a farm.
She just left one day.
And I was like, okay, man.
Is that industry standard or is that woman just fucking insane?
She was insane.
It's not an industry standard.
In fact, that's like it violates a lot of laws.
It kind of wasn't.
But it was dope at the time.
Yeah.
I was like, look what I can do.
A little kung fu kitchen.
And it worked out.
I can do it now.
Girly Pop Nation PSA00:11:32
People on stream are always like, whoa.
Whoa, that's fucking cool.
Speaking of Kitty Cinderella, is there anything happening in Girly Pop Nation that we need to know about?
Oh, Girly Pop Nation, the biggest thing that I have is this text thread.
Wait, what were you going to talk about?
Oh, Liam Payne died.
Well, that is really sad for Girly Pop Nation.
Yeah.
Very sad.
But I didn't want to cover sad news.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
Today.
Yeah.
He fell out of the third story of a hotel in Buenos Aires.
The yeah, that sucks.
Yeah, I mean that sucks.
Thank god for the reason.
Girly POP Nation did not bring that up.
Sorry, I thought that that's what it was.
GAY BOY Nation brought that up and they made it depressing.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, gay boy.
That's a good thing.
Gay boy nation is sorry.
Yeah, GAY boy nation is depressing.
Well, i'll tell you what GAY boy nation is thinking about right now.
Okay good no, let's go.
No no, it's a terrible transaction.
Let's go to your.
Let me send this to you.
This is just the dram that we have is um, you know, because as girls, it's really good to indulge in drama.
That's outside of me, because if I get bored, I will start the drum.
So if I see other drum, it's better to just hop on that vicariously.
Yeah, it's important to find your outlet.
I don't want to be at the heart of it.
Yeah, I noticed this new term.
You're using drama.
Let me say I love it.
I can't tell.
I feel like you actually hate.
No, I like it okay.
He likes it okay.
So my now now ex-boyfriend Uh, posted this reel one day.
I commented a few minutes later, a girl sends me a friend request and I ask him if he knows who she is.
He just tells me to block her and I tell him I did, but it was a lie because we already knew it was about to happen.
What was about to happen?
He got caught having two girlfriends on her account.
Uh, oh okay, two girlfriends.
Bingo bongo, oh um, so this is just fun.
It's just fun dram, essentially.
Uh, she got the friend request and she texted the guy and said, you know her, i'm gonna decline it though.
Lol, like that haha, whatever he said, I have no idea.
Tbh, girls are crazy, though when I was with my ex, she'd always get messages of girls trying to fake me.
So gotta get ahead of it.
Smart, smart man.
That's why I don't really like posting us, because people always want to ruin everything.
You know, I hate that.
She's who the?
Is this guy to begin with that like people are trying to sabotage his relationship?
I think he's just he also.
This is like one of the worst offenses ever because she hasn't said anything.
It'd be like if she said with, like haha, what's this?
And he's like my ex was always trying to accuse me of murdering.
You know, all those graves I dug in the backyard were for pets.
Yeah, that's yeah.
To preemptively be like cheating.
I'm not cheating.
Uh, she said, I trust you.
I don't care what other people have to say, but I get it.
He's like I just don't want other people in our relationship.
Did you decline them?
She goes yes, why he goes?
Because I get worried.
Like I said that's awesome.
Um, she said, but you don't know her.
Why would she tell me anything?
Ha, ha ha ha.
He said because people like to start drama for no reason.
This happened with my ex.
It gave me a whole week of unneeded stress right, and I had to delete all my and I just don't want that to happen again.
This happens a lot to a lot of guys.
Guys, has this ever happened to you?
Oh yeah, every time.
Yeah okay, she just went on the friend request again.
She said she yeah, she sent me a friend request again.
Then she definitely is trying to blackmail me.
Just block them babe, question mark.
And then she said, tell me it's not true.
And he goes, what isn't?
If you need anything, please call me.
I love you.
Uh long, Long story short, of course, she FaceTimed him during the call.
She told me it was all a lie.
Oh, he FaceTimed.
She FaceTimed him and then he told her that it was all a lie and that I should have blocked her and blah, blah, blah.
But it's been a couple of months texting me, said he had a girlfriend.
I found out 20 minutes ago.
Are you being serious?
Also, we sent six pictures.
You know what I mean?
I'm sorry.
I just.
Dick meat.
Cock meat pics.
I just think it's so funny that that was his go-to.
Like, obviously, obviously, a girly pop's going to know across the nation.
I told him I leaved him just to see how much more he was capable of lying.
So I texted the girls he followed.
Most of them only talked on Tinder, but he did meet up with one of them.
He went on a trip with two friends to Switzerland to climb mountains.
Okay, so this guy's running.
And two days before coming back here, he told me that he was going to go somewhere along because he needed to disconnect.
Oh, yeah, okay.
You're not like a brooding samurai, dude.
What do you mean you need to?
Oh, I need to meditate.
He spent those two whole days with one of those girls.
I was like, honestly, this guy sounds fucking awesome.
No, no.
No.
I mean, this guy sounds sick.
He's skiing in the house with house and getting pussy in every country.
Yeah.
Boy Pop Nation loves him.
He's pretty much gotten away with this.
He's skipping too much.
Girly Pop Nation, you need to know.
If a guy ever jumps to being blackmailed, he's probably not being blackmailed.
He's probably actually guilty.
Yeah.
That is my PSA for Girly Pop Nation.
Shout out.
Shout out to Girly Pop Nation.
Yeah.
What's Lucille?
We're also excited.
Girly Pop Nation is also a little obsessed with this girl who found a rug in her yard.
And then I heard about this.
Yeah, but then there wasn't a body.
Yeah.
Well, the dog triggered, though.
I know, but then they sent him.
Oh, my God.
I was talking to this guy about this.
Oh, he was telling me about this.
Apparently, it's more than Girly Pop Nation.
No, it's gay pop nation.
Was that before sex?
Were you done watching Zone of Interest?
I did something.
Did you watch that TikTok in between?
No, we didn't have to do it.
That would have been fine.
He wasn't TikTok.
We were fucking and he was telling me about it.
I can't get it up anymore.
Didn't he true crime?
No, he was telling me about it in the middle of the.
Through the glory hole.
You just hear it.
Yeah.
So apparently there's actually, they found it.
No, you should talk about it on your.
He told me.
He said you should talk about it on your podcast.
And then I forgot.
Of course, it got back here.
Yeah, so it's actually kind of weird.
You actually, you know what?
I know it may shock you, but I've never been to a glory hole.
No, no, no, no.
That's a very, very small portion of the population.
Wait, really?
Yes.
I also have some children.
Should I go?
I feel like somebody would bite it off or some shit.
I mean, you're going to get herpes or something.
That's what you should be worried about.
Oh, yeah, I guess.
Do they have like clean glory holes?
How can they force not known?
Thanks for their cleanliness.
They sanitize the holes.
Why are you saying, no, you're not going to get herpes?
Have you been to a glory hole?
No, I haven't been to a glory hole.
It's not.
Would you specify, like, when you go, is it only gay men?
What if a woman sucks you up and you need to guy?
I mean, mouths do feel like you're going to be a little bit more.
Are you really gay?
That's true.
That's a good point.
What happens in that situation?
You have to reconsider everything.
No, I'd just be like, wow, that was a huge misunderstanding.
I do.
I've talked about this often.
If I ever have a thought about a girl, it feels the same as before I came out as gay.
It feels wrong.
Because being gay feels so normal to me that it feels like...
What if you're on a cycle?
Now you're going to start coming out of the closet straight lady.
That would be.
I feel like I would disappoint a lot of people.
Yeah.
If I came out.
No, no, no.
That's the ultimate.
You would get all your haters to be really excited.
They'd be like, I knew it.
Oh, I know.
I knew it was not.
But then you say you're paying and you're golden.
No, no.
No, I know.
I'm good.
Magic word.
That's what he would be, but he's not.
No, I mean, I don't think I could.
I could if I had to gun up.
He absolutely could.
He loves titties.
We've talked about that.
Yeah, I think breasts are cool.
Sure.
Aesthetically.
Aesthetically, like I. You want to play on them?
You want to suck on them a little bit?
It's like a little, it's a little primal.
This doesn't make him uncomfortable, but this does.
I don't like when you do it.
It's gross.
Wait, they can do it?
I don't want them honking either.
No one should be honking at this table.
We talked about it.
I'm talking to HR.
We don't have an issue.
I watched the episode back and I was stricken by how your comment was: because we didn't like to core pumpkins, we couldn't make women come.
And I said, the motion you did.
I kind of see where she's coming from, which all of a sudden I realized.
Getting all up in the pumpkin.
You might be the biggest freak of all of us.
You didn't like your hand getting gooed on.
It wasn't Corin.
You didn't like the goo.
No, it's the, I told you, it's the scraping.
Well, it's like you could fist the vagina and it'd be up there and gooey.
What are you saying?
What are you?
Are you getting fisted?
What the fuck?
Either you're the freakiest of us or you've never had an orgasm.
What is that?
I thought you had a pussy.
I was like, no, it's dose.
Actually, yeah, that's true.
Perfect responsibility.
That's true.
I like that.
That's crazy.
That makes a lot of sense.
Look, I think, I don't think they're connected because I don't like to get dirty in a pumpkin, but I'll get all up in everything else.
You know what I mean?
I'm sorry.
I agree.
I agree.
I'll get all up in it.
I'm going to get equal opportunity goo or something.
Yeah.
I kind of see where Kitty's coming from, though.
There is something about it.
You just, because you're throwing caution to the wind.
Just a willingness.
You're having so much fun.
You're like, I don't care that this is outside of this context gross because I'm in the moment right now.
That's it.
And that's the coring the pumpkin.
I don't feel that way about a pumpkin.
Not the goo.
Just scraping noise and feeling.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we'll fine.
Let's set you aside.
Is it about the goo for you, Hassan?
I don't like getting my hands dirty for a pumpkin.
You see, it is about the goo.
Yeah, but I don't mind it for other situations.
See, that's what I'm saying.
And nothing in those other situations would be more of a turnoff than people going, uh, you know what I mean?
Sure.
If me scraping out a pumpkin was going to make a lady come, I'd be scraping it.
No, that's not how it goes.
Like, we want the credit.
That's, it's just, it has to be organic.
There are those.
You like to want to scrape the pumpkin out.
Yeah.
You can't be told to scrape it out.
Yeah.
Wow.
You understand women.
Thank you.
That's awesome.
Thank you.
There are those non-sexual indicators that someone is good at sex.
Like the classic one is tying a cherry stem with your tongue.
Yeah, that's a little bit too obvious.
Okay, give me another one.
His tongue dexterity.
I feel like swallowing the cherry stem is more impressive.
Yeah.
Okay, so what's another one?
Whatever he's doing on his Twitter timeline.
Pretty much anything he does.
Different sexualized.
He just fucking just existing.
And I don't know.
No, no.
Hassan's a pillow princess.
He really is.
He likes to get fucked up.
That was the only time we had sex.
I was really tired.
Okay.
That's why.
Now you're taking it.
That's why you're just hot and you just fucking don't really do it.
No.
You forget.
I used to be fat.
No, that's a long time ago.
We go over this.
That's why.
This happens a lot.
Stolen the battle.
No, that's why that works.
He does.
He does this a lot.
I call him stolen fast.
I know.
I learned that I had to work for it early on.
That's over, brother.
No, but that's when you were sleeping on a mattress on the floor in fucking turkey.
I know, but it stuck with me.
It stuck with me, is what I'm saying.
You're well beyond that.
You can't shake off those old lessons like you.
I've seen your fucking Instagram stories, bro.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ozempic, Hawks, and Gay Nation00:07:59
Yeah.
How do you do you see?
Yeah.
Those aren't the stories of a fat child that's afraid he's not going to be able to make a woman come.
No, I know.
Those are the handsome millionaire stories.
Okay.
I'm sensing a lot of resentment.
Yeah.
Last time we had this conversation.
I was kissing him off.
Last time I had this conversation, it's a lot tubbier.
And Stockholm was like saying that I'm not a big boy.
And now I'm officially outside of big boy status.
I recognize that.
I'm going to start rumors.
Yeah, that's a great one.
That's going to be a fun one.
Okay, cool.
Pick it up, people.
I had the slow acting Ozempic.
It took me three years to find out.
You were just really smart with your doses, and I think that's amazing of you.
Thank you.
That's a good thing to teach you.
You should be micro-dosing Ozempic.
This will not phase me at all.
I am very pro-Ozempic.
I'm pro-Ozempic too.
It seems like you're not.
Seems like you are actually contributing to people feeling bad about taking.
I want people to tell me that they're on Ozempic, so then I feel fucking better real quick.
That's what I want.
Yeah.
Well, of course, the song would be better.
No, I feel like I can't.
Because he's fat phobic.
I can take Ozempic.
I can't go to the gym every day.
Honest to God.
I cannot do it.
I'm also too afraid to take Ozepic.
I'm afraid of everything.
You can do it.
You can go to the gym.
We can do it together.
I can't do either of those things.
We'll build you with me.
I don't want to go to the gym.
Number one, I don't want to take Ozempic.
Yeah, that's fine.
But I also want to.
Women.
We're cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You said something was happening in Gay Nation.
Yeah.
You know, the movie Monsters or the documentary Monsters, the Menendez Brothers.
Menendez.
It's Cooper Koch.
Am I pronouncing his name right?
I don't know what that word is.
Cooper Koch is an actor.
Yeah.
He is the spell.
Is that the guy with a gay voice?
Yes.
What?
I think he was on.
Dude, I'm so tuned into Gay Nation.
Hold on.
Did you change my beer?
Listen.
Describe a gay man.
Well, Gay Man House.
Is he the guy with coach switches?
Yes.
No, it's not.
Wait.
Oh, it is him.
Yes.
He was on Andy Cohen.
Yes, I saw it.
And he talked about Twitter feed is fucked.
He was on Andy Cohen and he talked about how his former acting coach actually was like, oh, you can't do it.
You have a gay voice.
So Gay Nation.
Don't even come for me.
Yeah, you're all in the gate.
Don't even come for me.
You're not beating these gay allegations.
That's all I'm saying.
Which, by the way, everybody believes it's not true.
Sure.
Everybody thinks him and I anyway.
No one believes that.
So Cooper Koch, the actor, did a fabulous job.
Yeah, fabulous job in Monsters.
Okay.
There's a scene, a particular scene in Monsters, where you see his hoo-ha.
Yeah, you see his hoo-ha.
You've seen it.
I've seen his hoo-ha.
So you see it in the shower.
And he goes on Andy Cohen, right?
Nice piece.
And no, so it's not a prosthetic.
I'm saying it's just cocky.
Yeah, it's huge.
I was like, oh, no, it's huge.
So I remember watching this scene, and I was with a guy and we were watching it together.
And I was like, oh, that's a prosthetic.
It's not real.
You're like, this isn't turned.
You're like, this isn't turning.
Don't worry about it at all.
Don't wait for me.
They don't look like that.
Two footage up here.
Like, no, it's like a guy with a huge cock.
No, now kissing me.
He's a murderer.
Wait, now we know why.
Now we know why he only watches his own adventures.
There's no cocks in that.
No, he knows for sure.
So we're sitting there watching guys.
I'm like, you know, that's a prosthetic.
That's fake.
It's not real.
Nobody's that big, soft.
Come on.
Right, right, right.
You know what I mean?
So then, I mean, his last name is literally Cock, dude.
Yeah, I know.
So anyway, Twitter's going crazy.
All social media is going crazy because he comes out on Andy Cohen and he said, by the way, it's not a prosthetic.
Respect.
That's my best.
That's what I would say.
It's a prosthetic.
No, because then you're like setting up the expectation and then people are going to be like, all right, let me see your fat cock.
And then you whip it out and you're like, well, this sucks.
Yeah.
No, so he had a big hog.
Respect.
That's what Gay Nation cares about, right?
That's disgusting.
Have you ever seen it?
I think it's nice.
I think it's nice.
It's crazy that you just the only thing that Gay Nation cares about is one man's cocktail.
That's the game representation we have on today's video.
I'm going to defend Kibson because I have no idea who that man is, but I saw his cock on my timeline.
One second.
Take time out, please, because QD pointed out something that's awesome.
This guy's grandfather's name is Hawk Cock.
Wow.
His grandfather's name was Hawk.
From a long life, Howard W. Howie Cock.
How cock.
Hawk Cock.
I like him.
That's a great name.
Hawk Cock.
Hawk Cock.
Speaking of famous movie cocks, have you ever heard the legend about Willem Defoe's piece?
No.
Yes.
Willem Dafoe made a movie called Antichrist in which there was full penetration.
Oh, I didn't really know.
And the Antichrist?
Isn't that the movie?
It's about Jesus.
No.
No, that's passionate about the Christ.
Oh, anti-sorry.
But there's a legend because they used a stunt penis in it that Willem Dafoe is such a auteur, such an actor that he's like, I will use my own penis for this full penetration scene.
And when he pulled out his hog, the director said, that is the most massive penis I've ever seen in my life.
We can't use that.
Yeah, they had to use a penis double because he was, you know, they had to use a smaller penis.
The penis in the movie is gargantuan.
Really?
Pull up Antichrist penis real quick.
I'm scared.
Well, can we see Hawk Cock's grandson's cock?
I mean, if we're on the if we're on the cock watch, we might as well see Bob.
That is an interesting thing because if you look at, if they show you the prosthetic and they just like put it next to yours and yours is like sizing up, great.
You might as well just use yours.
Maybe we do it on the Patreon.
Yeah, we should probably do it.
I mean, we're not going to show it.
Oh, I thought.
Well, we would.
I thought we were going to freak.
If we're going to get free, we're going to freak out.
Do we show the cock on the Patreon?
I think so.
I don't know.
You can.
You can?
Oh, wow.
Yeah, we'll risk it.
I thought you're not allowed to show whole.
No, we're going to cockwatch on the Patreon, patreon.com/slash fear and how many minutes are we at, Marge?
Just actually go.
Type in Antichrist full penetration scene.
Well, you're not going to find it on YouTube, Marge, if that's what you're looking at.
No, he was just on Safe Search.
Marge wasn't ready for that.
All right, well, let's cockwatch at patreon.com/slash fear and behind the paywall.
How much time do we have?
Stavi baby.
You can do it.
Yeah, nice.
Stavi baby, hold on.
Stavi baby, what do you want to promote before we go to the paywall?
Let's start a cult.
Yay.
Stop.
Let's start a cult.
The movie comes out in theaters October 25th.
Go see it if it's near you.
And if not, we'll be releasing it somewhere soon so that everybody can see it.
I'm looking at the cock through the corner of my eye.
I'm actually just locking eyes with it right now.
But see the movie.
It's staring back.
That's it.
Listen to the podcast, whatever, all that other shit.
You know where to find me.
Just go watch the movie.
That's all I ask.
Yay.
All right.
And we'll see you next time.
And let's look at some dick.
Sure.
Oh, fuck.
It kind of had a short week.
It's a nice self-talk.
It's hard to win or lose in a short week.
You should be able to find flowers every day.
Oh, God.
Shit.
That's a good attitude.
Oh.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm severely depressed.
Go ahead.
No, I don't have a W yet.
You guys.
No dubs.
Not yet.
Not an airplane story.
We can go around with L.
I know what his W is.
It's an airplane-related event.
What is it?
Okay, fine.
It's an airplane-related event.
I'm sorry, half my week has been spent on an airplane.
I'm not the one who said we should do this on Wednesday.