Lily Pizzu joins Austin, Alexa, and Boy Boy to discuss her nursing background, North Korea experiences, and reactions to Donald Trump's shooting. The group debates gun control, compares Australian and US weapon laws, and shares anecdotes about road rage and chess boxing. They pivot to personal habits involving Viagra, public restroom etiquette, and chaotic relationship dynamics with HassanAbi. The conversation concludes with skincare routines, sleeping fears, and a Patreon plug, blending political speculation with intimate confessions. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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The Odd Introduction00:02:09
I do.
This is crazy.
I can't believe about what I'm about to say.
What if he did have like a spiritual awakening?
So awesome.
Getting shot in the head.
No, like, what if he was like, I'm going to be nice and I don't want fascism anymore.
Welcome to the Fear and Podcast.
I'm your guest, Willie Pizzu, and I'm here with Austin Show.
Alexa Show.
Boy Boy.
Wait.
What?
You're.
Oh, technically, you are boy.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm boy boy.
Yeah.
This is boy boy, and I'm, I did a thing.
Ready to do some wacky engineering adventures today.
Boy, do we have an episode lined up for you guys?
Thank you, Lily, for coming on and immediately as a professional, as a consummate professional, starting the podcast, because we usually have a hard time figuring out how to actually start the pod.
I mean, I usually start it.
I don't know why that's a hard time.
We also did go through not the direct line of communication where I could just like text you and be like, hey, you want to come on the pod?
And I think we went through your PR.
That's my brother, yeah.
We went through your management.
Did you find that odd, Lily, that we went through?
And by the way, if I don't look at Lily, guys, it's because this is my bad side.
This is also my bad side.
And so we're both going to be like, we're going to be like, yeah, it's going to be interesting.
You guys look right from my corner.
You don't understand.
What?
So do you feel as if it was odd that we reached out to you via your brother?
You know what?
It is kind of, you guys, anyone could have just DM'd me.
I see.
I know.
We're a professional podcast.
That's why we are.
We are a professional podcast.
We have a professional.
We had a PR person.
Well, had, because I don't think we're going to continue.
Yeah, we fired them.
Is this something that we should be talking about publicly, Marsh, or do they even watch?
I fired her brother?
No, we didn't fire.
No.
No, no, no.
We had a PR person that was supposed to bring us guests and all the guests that they brought were people that we just had direct communication to.
You didn't DM us today?
North Korea Secrets00:07:14
Yeah.
You just shouted at us.
Yeah.
Get in there.
Yeah, that's right.
I did.
So, folks, if you haven't noticed, we brought back our two friends from Australia.
Yeah, they're in the house.
That's perfect.
What?
That was really better than all the others.
Maccas.
That was a really good one.
Is that not it?
It's correct, like spelling.
In theory.
Matcas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rooting.
Beautiful.
Yeah, thank you.
It means getting fucked.
I usually say just root.
Really?
You say, like, I'll root you.
That's like, oh, fuck.
That's it.
Yeah.
Do you say it like that?
Is that what you say?
Can you use it in college?
Do you root?
You just say, do you root?
It's like, do you root?
Yeah.
Like, it's a weird question.
It means I want to have sex with you.
But the question is, do you have sex?
Root.
That's interesting.
That's so cool.
I never knew that.
It's kind of forcing someone to have sex with you because I have to admit that they don't have sex if they don't have sex with you.
Wow.
That seems problematic.
Aggressively.
It's just outside of the question.
Like, you either have sex, which means you're going to have sex with me, or you just don't have sex at all.
And then you get my fun of.
Yeah.
Oh, virgin.
Yeah.
So you just drop it down.
It's a trap.
It's like a perfect.
It's a perfect sex.
Sometimes it's just easy to have sex with someone, you know?
Going through that whole thing.
Oh, God.
People are going to call me a virgin.
I get that.
Anyway, listen, let's address the elephant in the room.
Okay.
Out of respect for Lily Picchu, who is a registered Republican, I'm going to try to keep the politics to a bare minimum here.
I would appreciate it.
It's been really hard for me to do this.
The 45th president of the United States of America, Donald John Trump, was shot in a Pennsylvania rally.
In the ear.
In the ear.
The bullet grazed him.
By the grace of God, as people are saying.
Yeah.
Did you see that photo where he's like bad or something?
Beautiful.
It looks fucking dope.
It's like an album cover.
Yeah.
It's like a photo.
With the flag waving.
So he gets hit with a bullet in his ear.
And I don't even think until I saw the coverage afterwards how close it was.
He literally turned his head a fraction of an inch.
And that bullet, had he not turned his head, we would be having a very different conversation.
He got real animated talking about how immigrants are doing so much crime.
He was like, he turned to his head.
He was bobbing his head around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what he said.
He told his doctor that he was looking at the immigration chart and was looking at it for reference.
And because of that, the what if he, what if immigrants saved his life and now he's actually pro-migration?
Or he's going to use the fact that he was looking at that policy at the same time to justify the policy.
It was like God, perhaps.
Oh, no, they are saying that.
Oh, like every Republican, including Lily Picchu, I assume, is saying God saved Donald Trump, which is weird because someone else died behind Trump.
So I guess like God directed the bullet away from the God King Emperor himself and into the brain of a peasant behind him.
God hated that guy.
Yeah.
God was like, this is the guy.
Lily, what was your impression when that happened?
Where were you?
My heart stopped.
Did it really?
Oh, yes, of course.
It was very hard for me.
I was in traffic and immediately started texting.
Well, like, to be no memes aside, I remember seeing in all of Twitter, people just started tweeting like every single tweet was about that.
And I looked it up and holy shit, we're living through history right now.
Yeah.
And you turned on the TV.
No.
Oh, okay.
I did.
Well, I was in traffic.
I don't, unless somebody, the president of the United States gets you.
Who did you tune into?
I tuned into...
Literally, I kid you not.
No.
CNN.
Yes.
Yes, and Hassan.
So I popped on the news and flipped open my laptop because Twitch doesn't have an app on my fucking television.
So I flip open the laptop, turn on Hassan Abi because I need to hear your commentary over the news.
Because your commentary over the news is better than the news.
Yeah.
I like him as a commentator.
I'm trying to tell if you're being sarcastic.
No, you're being genuine.
I'm being genuine.
Like, I'm genuinely probably one of his biggest fans.
Okay.
Do you like him as a friend, though?
Do I like him as a friend?
Yeah, no, no.
We definitely like each other as a friend, but if he wasn't cool and a political commentator, we probably wouldn't be friends.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
I'll be honest, him being famous definitely helps our relationship.
What does that even mean?
No, no.
Me being famous is giving you zero benefit.
What do you mean?
Oh, I guess the podcast.
I wasn't even thinking about that.
No, Hassan and I would have.
Hassan and I, I don't know, we would have ran into each other at a frat party or something, probably.
Frat party.
Yeah, absolutely not.
I love talking about this.
His college years were spent with him going to Applebee's and having his same drink at the same time every day by himself.
Yeah.
I used to drink milkshakes at Applebee's.
Did you have a formal?
Did you have a good college experience, Lily?
I went to community college.
Oh, so no.
Maybe not.
So you were at home.
I was at home.
Yeah.
About the dorm experience.
No.
What about you guys?
Yeah, mine was great.
That was where I dropped out of like six different degrees.
Do you all have like college degree and stuff?
I do.
What did you major in?
Political science.
Okay.
Sorry.
You did the same thing as Ian.
Political science.
Yeah.
I know it may shock you, but I have a bachelor's in business administration.
Oh, no way.
I know.
It's not shocking at all.
I know.
A lot of people.
I know.
A lot of people don't know that I'm educated.
It's hard to tell.
No, I know.
I know.
You dropped out?
I did nursing, teaching, social work.
You did everything.
You'd drop all of them.
All three of those things, you'd be horrible at.
I reckon I'll be a good social worker.
You're going to see soon.
Yeah, you're going to be a good social worker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I was planning to do in social work as well.
Well, I would like, you know, like befriend the kids and make them trust me by committing crimes with them.
That was kind of genuinely my plan.
I'll be the cool guy.
Then we dropped out and I went to North Korea.
Yeah.
North Korea.
What a bridge.
Yeah.
That was it.
They did.
That's how that's why I know them.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I watched it.
I probably met her.
I watched a documentary, getting a haircut in North Korea like years before I ever actually met her.
So they went to North Korea.
Yeah, that's not a joke.
You can watch it if you want.
No, I'm not right now.
We got to talk about it.
Yeah, we have Lily on the podcast.
Now we're going to watch a three-hour documentary.
I didn't mean you're South Korean.
My favorite's when I go on the Uber and they're like, where are you from?
I'm Korean.
And they're like, what kind of Korean are you?
What do you do in North Korea?
Are there a lot of North Koreans saying that?
Which Korea are you from?
And I'm like, South Korea.
Surely they've never gotten a different answer.
No, what if the Uber drivers that are driving her around are based?
They're like, actually, I'm a Korea unifier.
And therefore, it's all Korea technically.
You should just tell them that you're from North Korea and see what they say.
Just be like, what city in Korea are you from?
Just be like, Pyongyang.
And just see what they do.
No, you don't want to fuck with them.
It's such a ridiculous question to ask, though.
Favorite Age Revealed00:15:40
Well, I don't think it's like some, I think a lot of the time it's not out of ill intention.
It's just like ignorance.
They just genuinely don't know and they just want to know.
So I'm like, well, there's a lot of people out there, you know.
I don't think they've ever met someone from North Korea.
Unless it's like Yanmi Parks.
Also a Trump supporter like you.
That's true.
It's kind of like flattering that there are people out there who really think I'm like really far right, Trump supporter, evil bitch.
I stole from Mr. Beast.
Like there's a rumors.
I abuse Michael.
Like it's just, there's so many rumors.
This happens.
It's amusing to do this to very sweet people.
I'm really an evil bitch.
Yeah.
You get to know me a little bit more.
Like I think it's funny to like, you know, Tina Kitten.
Oh, she's so sweet.
I know, but it's.
She's like a baby kid.
I think it's funny to just say Tina is evil behind the scenes.
No.
She's like, yeah, she's a terror.
Yeah, she's a terror.
Yeah.
But the drama, the drama is that I was, by way of my management, asked about potentially participating in what I found out was this video almost a year ago.
Well, and then no fault.
Yeah, if you reach out to Hassan, he tends not to respond.
No, no, no.
I said I would do it.
Oh.
I said, I was like, they said like three to five days possibly, but this was like a long ass time ago.
But now you're too cool.
And I was like, yeah, no, I do it.
And then they never reached back out.
You should link up to him.
He could fix the whole glasses thing.
Oh, yeah.
He fixed my eyesight.
Well, Lily's eyesight is not fixed.
Yeah, he didn't do it.
What?
He fixed a thousand people's eyesight.
I'm scared of LASIK.
Yeah.
I'm scared of that thing.
Are you a hypochondriac?
No, but I've heard horror stories about LASIK.
I actually love glasses.
Like what?
Blind?
Like, there are people who have gone blind.
It's like LASIK gone wrong, I guess.
Like, what percentage?
Very little.
I mean, you could do like one eye at a time.
Oh, blind in one eye.
I don't think you'll have an eye patch.
No, no, no.
But just like, do LASIK, do LASIK one eye and then see how it works, make sure you're good, and then do the other eye.
Well, then you don't do the other eye being blind all at once.
Just don't do it.
If you don't trust the process, I would just not do it.
I think glasses are cool.
No, I think they are cool too.
I hate my glasses.
Why?
I think they shoot you.
They make you look intellectual.
I like it.
No one told you.
Yeah, you need it.
You need that.
I think, like for years and years, like here for years and years, I actually would only wear them when I'm in front of the computer.
But now, because my job revolves me being in front of the computer all the time, you look awesome, way excited.
Can I try?
Hold on you ready?
I want to finish.
Stream of thought.
What is the face you're making now?
Every, every size?
I don't know?
Just in the, just in the, just in case it looked good.
I had to make the face.
Can you see it?
Can you see I can't.
You strike me as someone who loves how they look.
Lily, how bad are your eyes?
Wait, hold on.
Say again, this is fine.
Lily was talking about something earlier and then we're gonna get back to that.
You, you said you strike.
What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?
You said Austin strikes you as someone who likes having a look, likes looking at himself.
Oh, you seem very.
You did say that earlier.
I do like looking at myself.
That's so lovely.
I do you like looking at yourself?
Not particularly.
I don't like go home and go in the mirror and be like i'm gonna look at myself.
I mean, I don't.
I don't go home and sit in the mirror and masturbate.
He does, he does.
He does open up Snapchat and look at himself.
Quite frequently though, but it's mostly to check to make sure everything's in order.
Do you have?
How bad are your eyes?
Um, negative 2.
Let me see.
Can I wear them?
Yeah sure oh, I can't see.
Oh okay, I could tell from like, how thick these are, that your eyesight is.
Those are actually my old glasses, so my new ones are even stronger.
Okay, i've just realized my eyesight has worsened because I can see better with these than my own glasses.
Wait, to be honest, when I put your glasses on my, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah, that's what I thought as well.
Am I in trouble?
Can I put yours on, Lily?
Yeah sure oh, I love the thing where everyone tries on someone's glasses.
Oh you look, they look good on you.
Damn, i'll be honest, it doesn't really, it's not blurry.
This is my favorite thing because like, we're all 30 plus, so people like, no, this is people like coming to terms wearing fake glasses.
Go on, no.
This is when you come to terms with the reality that you can't.
Your eyesight is bad, it just looks like it's.
You look like Harry Potter's dad.
Wait, are we all having a dead one?
Yeah, please stand next to me like.
I can barely make out what March's back says.
I can read it.
I can read what it says, like I know it says ghost in the shell, but I can't read what's underneath it until I put my glasses on and it says Masamune Shiro.
I mean, I can read.
I can read the text below rambo three.
Really, I can't.
Wow, there's nothing below rambo three oh, I mean.
And even to the left, yeah, I think you're.
Yeah, you're.
Halo, Sylvester Salone, Richard Garci.
You know what?
I can't, I can't, I can't read all of it.
I mean, I could read a little bit of it, but my eyesight's pretty good.
2020, they say it's definitely not.
If I got their chexes on and you don't like genuinely, it doesn't like genuinely feel I got a little headache when I put it on.
Yeah, I don't know, my he's defending his eyesight.
They said I had 2020 vision, but that was like I was like zero one through ten.
How much do you love yourself?
Oh my gosh, i'm just curious.
I you know What I think about a six and a half, okay, that's above average.
What about you?
I don't want to say higher now.
No, I think I'd say like eight.
I'm gonna go back seven.
Why did you, why did you change yourself?
Well, because I just felt like six and a half was like depressing.
So I think seven is funny.
I'd say 8.5.
8.5.
Wow.
Come on, 9 and a half.
9 and a half.
What about you?
Wow.
I'd say five or six.
Five or six.
Why?
Because I feel like I have many, like bad days and good days, you know?
So 50-50.
Like, take it away.
I don't know.
It's better than like less than average.
Are there some days where you feel like a nine or a ten?
Yeah, for sure.
It's usually when I'm eating healthy.
I've cut out sugar and I feel like a lot better about myself.
I'm being productive.
I'm like doing work.
I forgot about that.
Maybe that's why you guys gave such high marks because you're in the Hasanabi regime right now.
Yeah, but we're also hungover.
Yeah.
Oh, true.
So you lost some hard time.
Did you guys drink last night?
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
I did not.
I had one reluctantly, I had one shot, and then I left because I was unimaginably tired.
We had worked out prior.
Then a 12-hour stream afterwards.
This is 30.
And then immediately went to this birthday party.
At 10 p.m., we left.
At 10 p.m. Which is a normal time to go to a birthday party.
Yes, that's how you know you're old, by the way.
Yes, of course.
It's a Saturday night.
Normally, back when I used to go out, I would go out at like 10 p.m. March.
Is 10 p.m. a valid time to go to a birthday party?
Don't ask him.
He's a party boy.
Who else am I?
Marsh is like 27, right?
I know, but he fucking parties like he's 18.
And also, he nodded.
So there you go.
We'll never think back the fleeting, beautiful days of our youth.
No, that's what I'm saying.
But you know what?
I'm starting to embrace elderly age.
Okay, you don't need to say elderly.
But you're like 33, Chill.
No, I'm not 33.
He likes to lie.
Hassan is older than me.
No, I'm younger than me.
Not by a lot.
What?
Not by a lot.
You know what?
I don't care.
We're all 30 plus, right?
Yeah.
It's the same shit.
Yeah, sure.
We're all going the same way anyway.
Yeah.
I mean, look, I used to care more about age.
I don't care as much anymore.
I used to be terrified of turning 30.
Like, ever since I turned 27, I'm like, oh shit, I'm practically 30 now.
But I think if you're like a micro-dose turning 30, like at 27, you're like freaking out.
By the time you turn 30, it's like not even 30.
Yeah.
Well, I just told people I was 30 when I was 27.
Oh, that's smart.
And then I was like, I feel 30.
And then when it happened, I was like, I've been this way for four years.
Yeah, good.
Now, what do you mean?
What are you going to do for 40?
I'm telling people now I'm 40.
Oh, I'm prepared.
They're like, wow, you look great for 40.
You don't either.
God, that's genius.
What a genius thing.
Yeah, but by the time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm 60.
Tell them you're older than you are.
It works out.
That's genius.
Wow.
You look amazing for 60.
Thank you.
You're so great about yourself.
You feel like an 8.5 out of 10.
Yeah.
That's the secret.
No, but the problem is, is when you tell them you're 40 and you're like, man, you only look like 38.
Yeah.
You're like, fuck.
What's your favorite age so far?
What's your favorite?
Good question.
I'm a hell of an interviewer.
26.
26.
Why is that?
Michael's 26 right now.
Are you older than him?
Oh, yeah.
Have you always liked younger men?
No, I didn't know Tony met Michael.
Of course, of course.
No, no.
Well, when I first met him, I was like, I'm sorry, I like you, but like, I can't date you.
You're like a little brother to me.
I need all of that.
That's the kiss of death.
I know, I know, I know.
And I try to tell myself, I don't.
Oh, yeah.
He probably wanted you more that way.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Hey.
No, hey.
He's a backfire.
But when you like someone.
Yeah, you like.
No, it's fine.
You're both old adults and it's old adults.
Both adults.
And look, I mean, people would argue that Hassan and I have a problematic age gap in our friendship.
No, I hate one.
Some people are like, wow, that's weird that they're friends and he's a few years older.
No, they would say, you're much older than me.
But people find it a little who's people?
Oh, just people on the audience.
Austin likes to refer to people all the time that make up a weird narrative.
And then two weeks later, in the episode, two episodes later, he'd be like, people are saying this and I hate it.
And it's like, bro, you've started the rumor.
It's a streisand effect.
Like, I started this rumor that him and I were bearing children together.
Oh, and then people believe it.
Like, there people did not believe it.
But Austin still, no, no.
Yeah, we were burying boring them.
Oh, like, like, we adopted several children together.
And people still, people are like, isn't that Austin's or Hassan-in-law's boyfriend?
And I'm like, that's ridiculous.
And that's what people know me as, Austin's boyfriend.
That's how they know me as globally.
Well, I don't believe what people say about you.
Thank you so much.
That's such a good one.
I love it.
You ever done that to people?
Every time.
I love that.
No, you go up and say, I won't believe all that shit that Lily says about you.
I can't specify who says it.
Okay.
Like, I don't believe what they say about you.
I think you're actually a really cool person.
And then they're like, wait, wait, wait.
And then they're like, what are they saying?
What are they saying?
So, 26 was your favorite age.
That's amazing.
This is my favorite age is now.
Yeah, me too.
It's the present.
I think that's better.
Maybe like, maybe 26 is my favorite age, too.
You know what they say?
They always say they're like, before Twitch.
That's what my favorite.
You're really good in your 30s because you have money now.
And I'm like, wait, but I have it in the 20s.
Does that mean my 30s aren't going to be as good as more money?
What?
You make more money.
I know, but money, you know what I've learned if you say money can't buy happiness, I will hurt you.
You know what?
I haven't learned a lot.
I've got a lot more to learn.
No, you're saying you're saying that because you're rich, Austin.
That's a rich people speak.
Okay.
I was not, you guys are putting words in my mouth.
I don't think he was even going to sound like that.
I wasn't even going to say that.
He has said it before.
I know.
No, look, money isn't everything, but it is a lot.
Money isn't everything.
Not having it when you don't have it, it is everything, though.
No, it is.
You're right.
And having money, when you have problems, it isn't one of your problems.
And it makes that problem a little bit less difficult than it would have been.
That's so good.
So wise.
Oh, my God.
I want you to be watching.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
And I want to say it's a privilege, and I'm thankful.
And I just want to say I'm thankful every one of you.
I'm digging myself into such a t-ball.
I really like, yeah.
Thank you so much, Lily.
I appreciate it.
I'm so happy for you.
Did you have you always had money?
What's your favorite age?
They're not asking any questions.
I'm shouldering the loan here.
I'm letting you.
Yeah, this is letting you do your thing.
Have a conversation.
Did you grow up wealthy?
No.
What's your MBTI?
Yeah.
What's that?
What's that?
Oh, man.
Oh, is that that?
I know where it says HDTGJ.
HTTP.
Four letters.
The full letters.
Oh, E-N-T-P, that thing.
You're ENTV.
I was E-N-T-J.
E-N-T-J.
I don't know.
You don't know.
And you don't know.
Ian.
E-N T-J.
Yeah, it's like a personality type.
I think it might be ENTJ.
Is that the outgoing one?
Is that the outgoing one?
Outgoing, yeah.
Then that's the one.
What are you?
What are you?
INFP, but it doesn't mean anything.
INFP.
I-N-P.
What does that mean?
Test online to figure it out.
What does that mean?
What does INFP mean?
We'll do that behind the paywall.
Introverted.
Introverted.
Fantastic.
Popular.
No, no.
I'd like to say that I'm extroverted.
Of course, you are.
Yes, dude.
What are you kidding?
I'm extroverted, but I also have introverted tendencies.
So, like, when I get like, I do tend to want to shut down and go have my own space.
Like, Hassan wants me to stay with him a lot.
And I will rest me.
I will go.
You seem to really like Hassan.
I do.
You mentioned him every other sentence.
Well, he does not.
He's just faking it for the pod.
As soon as the cameras are, he's not returning the love.
As soon as the cameras are off, he's going to just be like, oh, I heard him done.
You know, like in a relationship, there's like the dog, the golden retriever, and the black cat, right?
So you're the retriever.
He's definitely the black cat.
Yeah.
So you act like, stop it, Austin.
But ultimately, come on, Austan.
Let's go, like, drink or whatever.
I agree.
And then I take offense too.
I would rather be the dog.
If we were dating, if we were dating like one.
If we were dating, I'd be the needy one for sure.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Yeah, dude.
We would not be dating.
No, no.
Really?
If I was a sexy lady.
You know what I mean?
What is that?
Big boobies.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
I don't really care.
Sexy lady with big boobies.
Whatever.
The moment that you're like, why aren't we spending enough time together?
You're always streaming.
I'll be like, all right, well, I guess it's over, this relationship.
Wow.
You guys feel like the third wheel too?
Yeah.
They're in a gay relationship themselves.
Oh, at least according to Brian last night, our buddy was a little bit more than that.
You were in that as well.
Yeah, I know.
He kept referring to us three as my gay guys.
My gay friends.
That's the first thing that happened when we arrived at the party.
He just my gay friends, everybody.
And it's like, we're in West Hollywood, so like everyone just, you know, we're like, okay.
Are you saying that's there's something wrong with that?
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
There's something wrong with being gay.
I'm anti-gay.
Russian Accent Drama00:14:37
No, but like it's just, I'm saying that like no one would assume that he's joking.
No.
Honestly, we're like got Australian accents.
It's kind of effeminate on its own.
I love the accent.
I wish I could do accents better.
Want to hear my Russian accent?
Yes, let's hear it.
Let's hear it.
Let's hear it.
Vladimir.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You want me to hear my Russian accent?
Oh, I thought you were going to do a different accent.
No, no, I can only do I have to take away some of those.
You were too good.
Hello, my name is Boris and I do Russian accent.
I have to say love Vladimir Putin because otherwise I won't be here.
You have to nail this right now.
I can't do it.
You can't do a Russian accent.
Yeah.
He's Russian.
You're both basically Russian.
When I say that, he takes it as a colour.
It'll all be Russian.
It'll all be Russian.
What?
Australian accent?
Yeah, it's very nice.
Can you do an Australian accent, Alex?
No.
Nor.
Nor, no.
No.
Hassan's got to be the worst at accents that I've ever seen.
Can you do any accent?
Nor.
These Australian ones sometimes hit.
Yeah.
And it's just like, it's arbitrary.
I think it's when we're really tired.
And then he does it.
It's like, oh, yeah, very good, Hassan.
That's when it's good.
Yeah, this is what I do to them.
When the cameras are off, I'm just like constantly speaking to them in an Australian accent and being like, do you like it?
Say you like it.
Yes.
Your residence depends on it.
I think last year was your big like Australian arc.
Yeah.
You were doing it for like a week straight.
Yeah, I didn't.
I don't do it anymore.
Do I do it?
No, I don't really do it.
No, it's not.
I don't do it at all.
Lily, what's going on in your life?
You're so funny.
I'm just trying to include you.
Yeah.
I found that if I act like he does, I don't want him, he'll want me more as a friend.
That is a catborn thing.
No, but to truth be told, I'm a homosexual.
And wait, what?
And Hassan knows this, but like, he is a very attractive man.
But I have envy of Hassan, like attractive envy.
Like, I would want to be him.
Do you want to?
I don't want to be with him.
Do you wish you were as attractive as Hassan and you find him attractive?
No, I'm not.
I don't.
I think he's very attractive and I'm confident in myself, but I do.
I wish I was just as tall as him.
I've never seen someone look so sad when someone's saying that about them.
Yeah, you look depressed, Hassan.
Why are you depressing?
Because you say it every podcast.
Because my favorite president got shot.
I know.
We didn't really talk about that.
I know.
Do you know we were meant to be there?
Yeah.
Yeah, we had tickets to the rally.
So we had tickets to that exact rally.
And last minute, we were like, it's going to be boring.
No, literally.
Alex leaks me like a thing in like Messenger and it's just like sneakerfest is on the same day.
We could go there.
And it was in Anaheim.
So we're like, oh, we don't have to go.
Easy.
It's easy to do.
And then when we're at the sneaker con, Hassan texted me and was like, Donald Trump just got shot.
But there were Donald Trump sneakers at the thing and no one else.
I looked on the news and it wasn't on the news yet.
So I was like, I have to buy these sneakers because they're going to go off in value if he died because I thought he had died.
So I ran around.
I couldn't find the sneakers.
They were $500,000.
Someone told me.
To make it happen.
Get a mortgage.
Yeah.
Do you regret not going?
A little bit.
I'm just really sad.
You could have been shot.
That's the thing.
But I could have shot the best damn video out there.
Yeah.
Dude, that video would have been fucking awful.
Imagine two six foot four guys in the crowd just ahead of everyone else.
Dude, I also would have called you guys on Discord.
We could have done on the ground corresponding.
We could have been on Hassan's stream, Alexa.
More.
Yeah.
No, I'm just saying my perspective.
Lily, you've been a guest on Hassan's stream, right?
No.
No.
Just early.
He just said hi today, actually, which was.
Oh, really?
Would you ever be a guest on his stream?
Heck yeah.
You should.
But it's a lot of sitting there.
Talking if it's politics.
No, I don't.
I'm a little shy about my views.
No, I understand.
Well, yeah, direct up the debate.
It's dangerous out there to be.
Super dangerous.
Yeah, they're shooting them.
What do you mean?
They shot the president.
Yeah, you have to be very careful.
You have to be a physically very fit man like Donald Trump in order to be able to dodge the bullets.
Yeah.
You know, a specimen.
Fascists are under attack.
Yeah.
It's really messed up.
Anyway, look, the reason why I brought that up is because one, I wanted to talk about how you guys almost went and then, you know, decided not to because you thought it would be boring.
I'm slightly stupid.
And the other reason is because the likes of Keemstar, if you could pull this up, please, Marge, looked at a historic event where what's going on?
Let the girls talk.
Sorry, sorry.
Sorry, go ahead.
What part of Keemstar bores you?
What's happening?
I just told him we're going to have to look to the left.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because you know, our rights is so ugly.
Yeah.
So in any case, once in a lifetime historic event unfolding, we don't know if the president is going to be all right or not.
And what does Drama Alert do?
What does Keemstar do?
He fucking clipped me and was like claiming that I was saying that the fucking shooting is staged, which I was not.
But I find it very strange, like the YouTuber, like pervert brain of looking at a once-in-a-lifetime event and being like, how can I make this about someone I dislike online?
Like that was his immediate reaction because I was saying he was clip farming, which he was.
He got shot.
He got shot and the first instinct he had, he's such a fucking media demon, was to get up and throw the fist and have that awesome photo.
Little formed eclipse.
Which will lead him to win every state.
I think we would have done that, though.
Like, are you kidding me?
I would have hit the floor and like been like this.
There's no way.
That's very scary.
Yeah, it's terrifying.
I do.
This is crazy.
I can't believe about what I'm about to say.
What if he did have like a spiritual awakening?
Oh, awesome.
It's true.
Getting shot in the head.
No, like, what if he was like, I'm going to be nice and I don't want fascism anymore?
What if that happened?
Well, he could be pro-gun control after this.
Like, being shot in the head.
I don't think so.
Dude, come on, Americans, brother.
It happens every day.
Dude, a mass shooting occurred in Parkland, Florida, and the Republican Party's strategy for that was to arm the teachers.
They started a program where they were giving $500 subsidies to the teachers that would go out and bring their own gun to school and train.
Guns, yeah.
At a time, at a time when, yeah, you love guns.
At a time when the teachers didn't have money for school supplies and they were paying out of pocket for school supplies, the Florida government was like, we have money.
We'll give you some money as long as you bring your gun to school.
How much does a gun cost?
A lot.
How much is one gun?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
Probably like a pen.
$50,000.
Brandon's America, brother.
Show that cheap.
The funniest part is that Republicans were tweeting that liberals are going to use this attempted assassination to try to take away our guns.
Literally.
So even, you know, when they're the, you know, they're the victims of the record, I want to make sure everybody knows we do not endorse the events that happened.
No, no.
That Trump rally.
No.
Yeah, horrible idea.
Yeah, don't do a Trump rally.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Not smart.
Not good.
Don't run for president if you're like Donald Trump.
Well, if I don't know if Mr. Beast ran for president, I'd probably vote for him.
Yeah, I mean, you know, he's got great, very strong views.
Realistic.
Yeah, he's got very strong views.
Like, I liked his view of like half-gay marriage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He said he would talk to both sides.
He said he would talk to the leftists and the rightists to, you know, build a meeting of the minds, a cabinet of the greatest minds in America.
I think Mr. Beast can do it.
Yeah.
When he said he would talk to the leftists, like, I know he was talking.
Like, I think I might be one of the only people he knows that is like actually on the left.
So I think I was getting a mention there, so I can't be talking too much.
That's why you endorse him.
Yeah, that's why I endorse him for, I'm his labor secretary.
I mean, he has built houses for people, so maybe that would translate thing into like, if he was in office, he'll build more houses.
Maybe.
What if he's doing the compromise?
Probably like half a house.
Yeah, like three hours.
As long as he doesn't take away my gun.
Yeah.
Half a gun.
Do you have a gun?
No.
Okay.
What would be your method of like fighting back?
Yeah, fighting back.
Oh, so.
Pepper spray.
So there was one time I was walking to my house.
It was really dark.
And Michael was doing a little epic prank, you know, where he like snuck behind me.
Those younger boys.
So this really like...
So that really showed me what I would do in like that situation.
Because what I did was when he scared me, I just went like and just did this.
I'm like, please, like, you know, just like very effective.
Just stop moving.
It's effective.
It is.
Yeah.
Like the assassin would feel bad.
Hopefully.
I could never have a weapon like, well, I don't know.
I may or may not have a weapon like that.
But if I did, it wouldn't be smart because I just don't think I've got too much anxiety.
And if somebody, like, I forgot somebody was coming over, just be like, you blast them?
Well, and I'd probably kill my cats on accident.
I just don't want you're allowed to do that in some states, right?
Kill your cats.
Just shoot people who come to your house.
Yes.
Texas?
Yeah.
No, there are a lot of states.
You definitely can do that in the morning.
It's stand-your-ground laws where if somebody breaks into your house, you can just kill them.
Castle doctors.
Yeah, it is scary.
Pepper spray.
I feel like that's very effective, right?
That's illegal in Australia.
Pepper spray?
There are a woke country that have been taken over by wokes.
You can't have nunchucks in Australia.
You can't have it.
You can't have nunchucks.
I think it's a false flag.
You can't.
That's ridiculous.
It's crazy.
What major terrorist attack was a pepper spray attack?
There was a nunchuck one.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's insane.
That'd be crazy.
That'd be kind of badass.
Yeah, if you're getting your ass beat by a dude in nunchucks, it's like you have to respect it.
Yeah.
Like the amount of time and effort that that person put in to be able to use that as a weapon efficiently.
To not hurt himself.
Yeah.
I have no pride in somebody saying they could kick my ass.
You know what I mean?
Like people come up and say, I'm going to kick your ass.
I'd be like, you probably would.
Wait, people say that to you?
No, no.
But if somebody was like, I want to fight you and I'm going to beat your ass, I'd be like, you know what?
You probably would.
So I'm not going to do it.
No offense.
But now when you say, like, oh, yeah, people say this, people say that.
I have trust issues.
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't think.
No, no.
Nobody's saying when I say, when I say people say this, I don't say they're saying it to me, but like, just generally speaking, like, when people say these things, not to me personally, because nobody's ever threatened.
Well, actually, I did get into it, almost into a fight one time, and it was because I left my car running.
And I think I told this story, but I left my car running.
I backed it into a spot and I left it running to go get some food.
And the guy was like, hey, turn your fucking car off.
And I was like, that was rude.
I'm going to leave it on.
And the guy.
I stole your car.
No, no.
And then I came out and it was a big scene.
The guy's like, you self-entitled little fucking prick.
Wait, he cares about the environment that much?
No, he said I was blowing exhaust in his face.
And I don't know what that was.
Well, I was like, and I was like, first of all, this is.
Stop trying to fuck my car.
Yeah.
I was like, first of all, it's fine.
You're fine.
And he got really pissed.
And he was on a date.
And you know what he said?
He's like, yeah, nice car.
Nice of daddy to buy it for you.
And he's talking about a song.
And I was like, no.
People are crazy.
Yeah, people are crazy.
I'm always wary of road race stuff.
Oh, yes.
One crazy person.
Have you ever been in a situation like this, like an altercation?
There was one time Michael and I were, he was driving, and then I think he almost, oh, so a person was walking and he didn't see him, but he stopped in time, right?
The person got really angry and he pissed on his car.
Oh, shit.
And then Michael flipped him off.
And then the person's like, what did you do?
And I'm like, honey, just don't do it.
It's not working.
Don't engage.
Just say sorry and just like move, you know?
Lily, you've got a great point.
I refuse to engage in anything anymore.
I used to, when I was younger, I used to like honk at people.
I remember getting into it with this guy, honked at him, then he honked back and like windows down.
Fuck you.
I think it's a little bit fun.
I do it in a really friendly way, just being like, like smiling straight up.
I'm just so scared.
Like what will set off, like maybe they're having a bad day.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
That's why conservatives are right.
An armed society is a police.
Democrats are just jealous that we Republicans are unified.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So unified that one Republican shot the president.
I'm a centrist.
Hashan, have you ever gotten any Road Rage?
Are you a Road Rager?
Oh, I've gotten Road Rage.
What about altercations?
Like any altercations?
Yeah, I mean, I used to get in the fights all the time.
Really?
Yeah, in college.
Really?
Like, for what?
Give me an example.
What do you mean?
I was in New York.
Give me an example.
I was in New Jersey.
Did you win?
And getting...
I've won a bunch of fights.
And I've also lost.
What does it feel like to lose a fight?
It fucking feels awful.
You just fall down.
You see stars.
Like, I've been fucker punched.
Has anybody ever like hit you, knocked you out, and then called you the F-Slur?
People have called me.
You didn't know though, because you're unconscious.
People have called me the Evsler before.
I've gotten into fights because I'm okay with it.
I didn't get called it growing up.
I've been called the F-Slur.
I've had other people get called the F-Slur that I've defended.
Pride Shorts Fight00:03:35
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Damn.
Before.
Yeah.
Dude, have you ever been called?
New Jersey.
What do you mean?
The E-Slur is like the most normal word to use there.
I mean, people have called me the F-Slur.
Jersey are you from?
It's rare.
It's rare.
You know, I've broke up a fight with a fire extinguisher.
Oh, that was really good.
That's awesome.
We stole fire extinguishers and we're running down the street and some guys were fighting and we're like, they're on the ground and we're like, let's just spray them.
And we did and they stopped fighting and they chased us and we ran away and we saved their lives.
You united them.
Yeah.
That's been a cause together.
Really good.
Which is nice.
It's a good ending.
I like that.
Thank you.
That's good.
That's good.
Sorry, my brother is calling me.
I don't know if it's an emergency or not.
You can take it.
No, I'm not going to call him.
Okay.
Would you do a boxing match, Lily?
Like Michael?
I thought about it because after seeing Creator Clash 1 and 2, I was so inspired.
I'm like, I could do that.
Who would you fight?
Oh, I want to beat up Yvonne.
Okay, you didn't have to say it like that.
I just think it could be really funny.
Fuck Yvonne.
Yeah, Yvonne, if you're watching, I'll fight you.
Yvonne's a big watcher.
Pod Watcher, yeah.
Oh, she is, yeah.
The big Hasanabi Head Austin show fan.
I'm not sure about the second part, but the pod boxer, yeah.
What?
You missed it.
You got owned.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Nothing matters.
Okay, who else would you fight?
Except for the positive affirmation of you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Who else would you fight?
Saikuno.
Just like you'd be really funny.
You know what I mean?
I feel like you get beat his ass.
I feel like you get beat his ass.
I don't want to fight.
I'm like, punch me.
I have a fantasy of like participating in Creator Clash.
Yeah, but the training.
I know.
So it's just a fantasy.
I'm not going to be fantasy.
And I have this fantasy of like getting paired with one of those homophobic kickstreamers.
And me just.
I feel like they beat your ass, though.
Well, probably.
That's why it's a fantasy.
But like training, you know.
And then like, you know, at least I'd look better than that.
You know?
And then I beat them.
No, but I beat the shit out of them in pride shorts.
That's also like pride shorts.
And then like I come out to like ABBA or some like gay ass, like just super homo erotic.
Like I have drag queens in my corner.
Like it's super erotic and they just get their fucking ass.
That's also scary.
Yeah.
They'll get intimidated.
Yeah.
And you can work six.
Like he's so confident.
No.
Or because he's so homophobic, he gets extra enraged and kills you.
It's like, sweet, a hate crime.
Because yeah, because like think about how many years I would set back the gay community if I did that and got my ass kicked.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't.
I can't get owned.
I can't risk that.
No, you have to.
That's a lot of confidence.
What I really want to do when I was meant to do Ludwig's chess boxing event, I thought it'd be really funny to take each of Agra beforehand and just have an erection.
It'd be so off-putting for the opponent.
Because they're there, they'd be like, but it turns out Viagra like thins your blood, and if you get hit in the head or like in a bad way, like it's much worse.
I like how you've looked into this so much.
You've looked at the side effects.
He wants to be fighting that guy.
I liked it.
The thing that didn't stop him was, you know, the possibility of having a boner while fighting.
But instead, if I get hit in the head, I just think it's the edge.
Like, no one's going to fuck him up.
Like, they're maybe distracted, don't we?
Toilet Pee Myth00:02:54
Yeah.
Or they can get excited.
It's myth.
You were fighting myth.
Yeah, I would have scared him.
Scared him with my pee-pee.
It's insane.
Oh, how do my people lose to these guys?
Well, I guess we dominated for this reason.
The excellent techniques of the Serbian army.
If we all have erections, I've never taken Viagra.
No, have I.
No.
No.
I'd like to be on a Viagra commercial.
Have you ever thought about what it's like to have a penis?
Yeah, if I could switch bodies for like a day to see what it's like.
What would you do?
I don't know.
Yeah.
It is the best thing you can do with your dick.
It's kind of the only thing we do with it, other than pee.
Oh, pee.
I could pee standing off.
Yeah, that's a game shoot.
Well, there was a.
I'll be honest.
I think some women do that too.
Really?
I went to a fucking age.
Well, I was in a public restroom.
I was waiting in line, and this woman went in, and I was like, oh, perfect.
You know, when a lady goes in, usually it's like, oh, great, dry toilet seat.
Thank God.
I can sit.
You know what I mean?
And I go in and it's fucking just drenched.
Maybe she was sweaty.
No.
This was like, it was drenched before.
And I don't know about you guys.
Now, this may be a little gross, but if a toilet seat is like peed on, I will clean it.
Same.
Because I don't want anybody to think that I was the guy that did that.
That's not the reason.
I don't want to be anywhere near it.
No, no, no.
I mean, yeah, to pee.
Oh, okay.
That's what's like beautiful.
Because I don't want to be the guy.
I don't want them to know that it.
I don't want to walk out, especially on the plane.
You did it.
Well, that's why you always make a comment.
I do that usually when I walk out of a toilet.
Oh, I'm the other guy there.
Well, I know.
I usually reach inside with toilet paper, touch a bit of poo, and then wipe it on the toilet suit and then walk out of it.
Yeah.
That's silly.
I fuck it up further.
I fuck it up further.
I'm like, ah, it's fucked up anyway.
If I'm on a plane and I got to go do that sinful act, number two, some people say, I will go to the back of the plane.
In the toilet?
No, I'll go shit on the people in coach.
Classic rich man.
Do you fly first class?
What the fuck?
Your questions are so funny.
I'm sorry, Lily.
I'm sorry, Lily.
I'm sorry.
You're avoiding the question.
When I've flown first class, when I've gotten sponsored and pay for my flight, that's when I get business class.
I thought it just seems like a waste.
Yeah, no, I agree.
It's definitely a waste.
What are you talking about?
You literally almost always only fly business class.
Oh, wow.
That's that's wonderful that you love yourself that way.
I do.
I think it's good for your body.
I have a good reason.
Whenever I flow in business class, it's so nice.
Snail Comb Skincare00:06:00
It is.
Yeah, I know.
No, they treat you like a human being.
That's how everyone should be treated.
I think that should be the norm.
No, there's like a difference in how they treat you, like they talk to you when you're in a different.
That's not even a joke, which is really nice.
Well, like, if you're in coach, they will go ahead.
Like, coach's economy.
Yeah, if you're in coach, like, like, I remember sitting in Comfort Plus and I was like trying to order drinks, and they're like, I'm like, it's included.
Sorry, we're not serving drinks right now.
You're in first class.
They're like, Welcome, Miss Peachy.
Would you like orange juice, champagne, water?
What would you like?
It's like so nice.
I don't care about any of those amenities.
I just need leg room.
Like, we're pretty much the same height.
I'm fine with a leg room.
I am literally twice your width.
Yeah, but legroom is this way.
I know, but like, it's not just leg room.
It's just like I just room.
I'm taller than you.
And also, I don't know how you do it.
Well, I'm just used to sitting like this the whole time.
That makes no sense.
I stand up like wait, we're always now.
I'm up like half in jumping jazz.
That's good.
So you're gonna get deep vein thrombos.
Yeah, deep vein thrombosis.
Yeah.
DVT, that's right.
You gotta keep it strokes.
No, it's uh, yeah, blood clots that could lead to one time when I was a kid, I got off a plane and my hands were like seized in this position for like for two hours off that.
And I'll scared it off for the rest of my life.
Is that deep vein thrombosis?
No, that sounds like something stronger.
That's crazy.
Wait, that's no, no, it ended on in two hours.
This is the default position.
I do this a lot.
Yeah.
When I was younger, I used to always fall asleep on my arm and wake up and oh my god.
No, no, like when you, when you look at, when you fall asleep on your arm, you dead, dead arm, but like you look down and you expect it to be there, but it's somewhere else.
Yeah.
And you're like, fuck.
And I used to wake up screaming on the plane.
I know.
I've had it where I wake up and I'm like, the first time it happened, I started just like swinging or something, like banging it on my bedside table.
Because I thought my arm was dead.
Then eventually it came back.
And you're painting much better.
Yeah.
You're capable.
That's like when I go to the dentist, you know how they like make your mouth an aesthetic.
Yeah.
When I was a kid, all I do, as soon as I do that, I just bite my cheeks as hard as I can.
And now I've got so many scars on the inside of my mouth from every time I went to the dentist.
They're funny.
I'm learning so much about these people that I've let into my home and I don't like it.
I have to sleep in recovery position every single night because otherwise I get dead arms.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
100%.
Why?
Because if I lean on this.
I sleep on my side.
Oh, that's so interesting.
It's not what you can hold.
I want to know.
How do you sleep?
I'm just trying to conceive.
Wait, wait, wait, really?
I can't sleep on my side.
You guys are crazy.
Do you guys sleep?
What?
Do you guys sleep naked?
On your back, like a cadaver.
No.
When I was a kid, I used to be scared.
I can't.
I just don't want to sleep with my hands on my chest because I thought I was dying.
You know, like in the morning.
And every time I notice it, I'm like.
I heard it's better for your skin if you sleep like on your back.
I know.
And I can't sleep on your side and then above the wrinkles.
Did you guys hear about the corduroy pillowcase?
What?
Corduroy.
Tell us more.
No.
You haven't heard of it.
No.
That's surprising.
It made headlines.
Really?
Tell us.
No, it didn't.
No, tell us.
It made headlines.
No, it didn't.
Look at how Margaret.
The Corduroy pillowcase made a headline.
Is this a sponsor?
I don't know.
I'm trying to be a headline.
Lines in your face.
Oh, it was a joke.
It's a joke.
Oh, my God.
I was like, fuck.
What is this new technology?
It makes you really interested.
Wait, because you probably have a silk pillowcase, right?
Yes, because that's IP.
Yes.
Yeah, you have a silk pillowcase, and so do I'm because it's better for your skin.
And I was thinking, wow, corduroy, what is this medical breakthrough?
Do you like skincare routine stuff, like toners?
I do now.
Moisturizing.
What do you do now?
Brand do you use?
Oh, a bunch.
I use Epions.
Epions?
Epion's, yeah.
Is SK2 good?
SK2 is really good.
So I use SK2 and I use another Shishado or something.
Damn, you got the shit.
That's like, that's what I yeah.
I may need to switch to that.
Super expensive.
I have an esthetician that says Epion's is really good.
I use a serum.
I think it's like per person.
Is one of them Korean and one of them is Japanese?
I think.
I try to cover both ends.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Interesting.
As a Korean, I feel really welcome.
No, because they got maxed out skincare out there.
Korea's like crazy with skincare.
The whole 10 stuff.
Skincare routine.
I don't do it, but how many steps do you do?
I do.
First, I do, I wash my face with a cleanser, then I use an oil-based cleanser, and then I use toner, and then I use essence, and then I use a serum, and then I use a moisturizer.
Sometimes I use eye cream, and then like when I'm snail comb.
See, I tried using snail comb, but I heard that like if you're allergic to dust or certain things, it might give you a cleaner.
Oh, shellfish.
Yeah, something.
I don't remember what it was, so I don't use snail comb.
I'm so on my fucking game.
You guys know I didn't even know you did skincare.
Yeah, yeah, you can't tell.
Snail comb is not fucking human.
Like the goopiness of the skin.
I do and I don't.
Mucus, whatever.
Snail mucus on you.
Yeah, it's apparently really good for your skin.
That's why French people always look so good.
No one has said that about French people.
Well, people say.
Yeah.
They look so fucking wrinkly, I think.
It's because they live on a diet of cigarettes.
But yeah, no, I do a little bit of skincare, but I also don't at the same time.
Like, I will do that, but then I also simultaneously don't put on fucking sunscreen.
Sunscreen Trapped Taco00:02:48
The big one.
Yeah, you should wear sunscreen.
That's how you get all the pretty freckles.
You need sunscreen.
I do.
I do now.
I have like a motherfucker has sun damage that makes him look like a fucking god.
That's not fair.
Are you like?
I think he's attractive, but he's not.
Yeah, I'm not his type.
That's what he says all the time.
He's just like, no, I'm not.
He makes so many comments about him.
No, he really has ascended into a level of beauty that makes me uncomfortable.
I think it's cute.
Yeah, he's like a.
And I don't, I think it would be, it needs he needs to stop being so beautiful because he's starting to make our friendship weird.
The more you talk, the harder I find Hassan.
That's why.
If he was like constantly shooting on me, he'd be like, oh, this ugly guy who's half-life.
You know what I love about this, Lily, is I will talk like this and people will think I'm serious.
Oh, no, because you're not.
No.
Of course.
No, it's a joke.
That's a mess though.
I mean, I think he's attractive.
I think he's doing like those.
Don't know what to believe.
He saw those like little Zoomer TikToks that are out there.
What is it?
Tariumi.
And like they're popping off, and there's always like a will they, won't they tension?
So Austin's trying to do that here.
I don't know.
No, I did get stuck in Hassan Abhi fan cam talk.
You got fan cams?
Yeah.
I went on TikTok and like I was like scrolling and I stopped and watched one.
Big mistake.
Big mistake.
Now I'm trapped.
Yeah.
You know, you hate me.
Now I'm trapped.
I'm sure you hate it.
Oh, no.
I'm trapped.
Oh, man.
Friendship's beautiful.
Yeah.
Thank you, Lily.
I appreciate it.
Who's your celebrity crush?
Michael Reeves.
That's my celebrity crush.
Really?
Yeah.
Are you guys ever going to get married?
He's so cool.
Well, one day, I guess.
He knows my rest.
That was really personal.
No, it's okay.
Really?
How do you want to be proposed to?
Oh, just curious.
Okay.
So, hear me out.
Obviously, like, this is very personal.
And if you don't want to answer, don't answer.
But when it comes to a proposal, is there a point in your relationship where you're just like, it could happen anytime and you're okay with it?
I guess.
I know we talked about it.
We both want it.
We talked about like, oh, definitely.
It's either a Hawaii wedding or the Taco Bell Cantina in Las Vegas.
Ooh, okay.
So Taco Bell Cantina, you can like.
Broad range.
You can sign up for a wedding, right?
You can get invite up to 25 people.
They'll give you like free tacos and stuff.
It's really cool.
Free taco tacos.
Just to get married there.
But you have to pay.
You have to get an officiator and everything and get the license.
But it's like so cool.
Like, I got married at the Taco Bell Cantina.
I really don't know.
That's so cool.
It's so cool.
And that's going to be my YouTube video tip.
Live mom.
If I ever get married, I want to know that they're going to say yes.
Oh, please invite me.
I want to give a speech to you.
Wait, what are you worse?
You don't find out at the wedding.
Some people do.
Why would you propose randomly?
Stupid Wedding Talk00:03:39
You should know that.
No, no, no.
I know, but you can't, like, you can't.
You can't just like vibe your way into proposing.
You got to like talk about it.
You would talk about it.
You would talk about it.
Yes.
I'm not.
I mean, of course I'm afraid of rejection.
I'm a human.
I wouldn't want to propose and then say no.
You started off soft.
You just go to them.
You're like, wouldn't it be weird if like you propose to me?
And then you decide.
That's your strategy?
Yeah, that's a winning strategy.
You've divided me so far.
Divorce five times.
Have you really?
Really?
No.
Never.
I'm not.
I'm like, I'm sorry.
That's stupid.
Is he going to propose to you or is that misogynistic of me to assume?
Wait, what?
Never mind.
What did you?
Will he do the stupid bit?
No, no.
I don't think it's.
It was a stupid.
Never mind.
It was just a stupid bit.
I'll never think whatever you think.
Okay, it was just stupid, Lily.
I'm sorry.
It was just dumb.
I've said a lot of dumb shit today.
No one knows.
I think you're killing it, really?
Yeah.
I'm loving this.
Yeah, we just, the reason why we have this weird is because I'm kind of depressed.
And maybe that's why I'm saying a bunch of hilarious things.
I mean, I just really, you've been gripping that water bottle for dear life.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm just, I'm like kind of depressed.
I don't care about what I'm saying as much.
And so maybe I'm like.
I know you're depressed because your ass is still wearing the cum shirt.
Yeah, I spilled cum on it.
You didn't even swap it out.
You spilled?
No, I spilled cum on it.
It exploded with me.
No, no.
No, there was one of his toys and I was squeezing it and it just exploded all over me.
You have toys full of cum?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I cum in them.
Yeah.
For my guests.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
You could leave a jar of cum in my bomb.
True.
Wait, what?
It was awesome.
Yeah.
So I think my dad, when he was staying in that room, like left a can of cold brew that was drunk.
He drank out of it, right?
No, it was a clothes can.
Oh, a closed can of cold brew with like a garlic canister, like a little jar of garlic, but it wasn't garlic in it.
It was just like some moldy milk.
And we thought maybe it was calm.
Why'd you go to me?
I would never masturbate into a jar.
You stayed in that room.
Yeah, I did, and I did jerk off in it, but I didn't do it in a room?
Dude, how hard?
I have to think.
Actually, I don't think I did.
I may have.
I was about to have a relatable moment with you, but it doesn't matter.
We're never talking about it.
You jerk off in the room.
I try to.
It's hard in there.
Wait, why?
Yeah, because the door is fucking.
They can see you.
You can see shadows.
You can't see you through that door.
How much is that, but it's hard to like walk.
I can see him when he's jerking off.
Yeah.
You can see.
No, you can't.
If you're dedicated enough, like Alex is.
He can't see.
You know what?
I have jerked off in your room.
In the son's room?
No.
In that part of that.
No, that'd be really weird.
What's really fucked about that room is that the sink is like you can't wash your penis in it.
No, I've tried that.
I gotta die.
I've tried that.
For some reason, the sink's like a meter away.
Yeah, it is.
I've tried to wash my penis.
I've tried to do that so many different times.
He's got like a weird, it's like the weird like try-to-hard architecture.
Yeah, yeah.
Where it's like, and the light is broken, so that's why I have to stay at a hotel.
Well, no, you have to stay at a hotel because the rooms are occupied.
No, it was my choice.
I need to jerk off.
Yeah, sure.
Sure, sure.
Not for long, though, because Alexa's leaving.
Yeah, I need to jerk off.
You can't be in this room anymore.
Well, speaking of jerking off, this is the end of the podcast.
At least the end of the free part.
No question.
Yeah.
How do you jerk off, Lily?
Please don't.
Set Fire Patreon00:01:18
No, I wasn't going to do it.
If you want to hear how Lily jerks off, say no.
Please don't.
Lily, is there any, thank you so much for joining us and being a guest on our podcast.
We're going to join, we're going to be in the Patreon.
But Lily, what would you like to say to our lovely viewers?
Oh, Jesus.
Stay safe.
Yes.
Is there anything you want to plug?
Yeah, you want to plug anything?
No.
You are such a fantastic guest.
It was such a pleasure.
And I hope I didn't weird you out.
You were a great host.
Thank you for all your questions.
You know what people say about you also?
Yeah.
I don't believe it.
You don't believe it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And thank you to our lovely Australian people.
Thank you for helping.
And as always, thank you, Hassan, for letting us use your house.
And that's it.
And we'll see you behind the paywall at patreon.com slash fearan.
Take care, everybody.
Dude, I stopped thinking about that.
Fuck, you just reminded me.
I'm going to set myself on fire.
That's so exciting, guys.
It's going to be sick.
It's going to be sick.
You can say, like, yeah, I set myself on fire.
How do you feel about Salwin Quit?
How do you feel about your boyfriend being set on fire?
I'm excited.
He's going to look so hot.
Literally.
I think it's just the type of chaotic thing he loves, though.