Austin, Cutie Cinderella, and Hassan Piker recount a chaotic Sunday featuring an eight-hour stream, basketball losses, and Austin's felony theft of thousands from Australian bottle stores. They debate the ethics of gay conversion therapy, exchange Yugoslavian gifts, and analyze strip club encounters in Thailand and Portland's "Tiny Tuesday" event, questioning its segregation of little people. The episode concludes by linking these personal anecdotes to broader critiques of airline metrics, colonial propaganda, and the absurdity of modern social norms. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Fear Anne00:08:45
All right.
You want to idea?
You want me to do it?
You do it, bro.
What do you mean?
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear Anne podcast, where we are joined by the radical, radical left folks from Australia.
Very sad.
Very sad.
Cutie Cinderella and Hassan Piker and myself, Austin Show on another wonderful episode on a Sunday evening because Hassan decided that it would be a great idea to drag our guests through an eight-hour stream and then a two-hour basketball game.
It makes it feel better he lost.
Oh my God.
We'll talk about that in a second.
To be fair, not only did they also stream, but I also made them play basketball for two hours in the morning.
Yeah, I just came back from Croatia.
Yeah, I just came back from Croatia.
That's crazy that you did that.
That's just my reaction to you being an insane person.
He was feeling.
Can you validate her, please?
When I have guests over, I work them like fucking work horses.
Is he usually like this, or is it only when there are people here?
He's always like this.
The only time I hang out with him is on camera.
He doesn't even, and when I'm useless on camera, he looks at me and he goes, leave.
That's it.
I walked in today.
He knew I wasn't camera ready and he looked at me and he just...
You guys didn't even know.
To be fair, to me, again, he doesn't usually talk.
I invited you to play basketball and you said, no.
And I was like, all right.
No, he was nice.
He was a good friend today.
Yeah, I was like, do you want to come with us?
And you're like, no.
You didn't invite me to play basketball.
It's because you're, I think it's because you're a woman.
And no, no offense.
I was playing with your, I was playing with your boyfriend.
Exactly.
He invited me.
Yeah.
Why didn't you get?
Why don't you come?
Because I didn't want to be on his team.
Maybe I want to be on your guys's team.
Well, I cutie.
You could have been.
I didn't get invited.
We don't have a problem that you're a woman.
He does.
This is true.
I did bring cookies.
And she brought cookies.
I did bring cookies.
Which Hassan thinks that's your place.
You did get mad at me.
No, I didn't.
I said, oh, thank you.
No, you didn't.
No, that was my excited response.
He's not mad at you.
I don't remember what it was.
Take another bite.
I don't remember what I was yelling at.
No, you.
No, no, it's my fault because I'm really tired.
But I'm like, oh, you broke cookies.
No, that was me being excited.
Like, I was actually excited.
You got to work on your cone, your tone.
I want a small one.
I'm not supposed to eat these.
So Hassan just got back from Croatia where he spent half of it in a Croatian cellar broadcasting for his audience in a very critical time.
Yep.
To be fair.
And I appreciate it because I consumed it.
Why'd you say sorry?
Have you ever been to Croatia?
Yeah.
Why do you hate it?
No, they're fine.
All right.
Okay.
All right, Croatian fans.
It's okay.
What happened to Croatian?
Is it a football?
No, no, he's Croatian.
Oh, you're Croatian?
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Yeah.
Is Croatian have a look?
You're Croatian, right?
Croatians look like these.
I guess everything about Albanian.
I'm nickel too.
I like them.
Was there some beef between Turkey and Serbia?
Yeah, they like Serbia.
I'm starting to think Turkey wasn't all that good.
It was really good.
It was really good at conquering the Balkans.
Yeah, they picked out all our hottest boys.
It's true.
Is that true?
We did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dave Shudeman.
There's a term for it.
We would look for Dave Shudman.
Young.
Yeah, we would look for young Christian boys and Serbs at plenty.
And we would turn them in the Warriors.
Wow.
Which is interesting that you pointed that out.
Because when I was in Croatia, I saw so many tall motherfuckers there.
And the entire time, I think it's like the Ottoman epigenetic memories kicked in.
I was just like, I wanted to put them to work.
Like, I would walk up to a dude who's like, you know, holding the luggage.
And I was like, you're wasting your talents doing this.
You should be playing basketball.
And I would ask them, like, do you play basketball?
Because the Balkans are very tall.
Like, you would be shocked.
You would not expect it.
Like, it's everyone is just like a tall white dude.
How'd he look at me?
Yeah.
You wouldn't be shocked.
Why would Austin be?
I wear boots, okay?
Everybody notices.
Basically, this cookie is so bomb, by the way.
Oh, my God.
You know what, Kitty, I'm going to taste one.
I'm not hungry, but.
He's on a diet.
No, I'm not on a diet.
He's on a diet.
Wait, sorry, huh?
I guess that's what you're interested in basketball.
He's on a diet.
He's on a diet.
He's got to keep tight for the twinks.
You know how it is?
Is this your new thing?
That's the new me.
Yeah.
Margo Robbie got pregnant, so now I get to be the New Yorker.
Okay.
I'm taking all of her roles.
It's going to be crazy.
Keep it open.
I put gum in here.
What are you wearing?
What is this?
I'm wearing clothes.
He looks good.
Would you start with that?
I'm wearing a romper and I'm wearing this shirt from Disneyland.
It's a pizza planner shirt.
It's kind of sick.
You know what?
You want to hear it, T?
Okay, buckle up ladies.
This morning, Pernilla went on a, well, me and Prunilla, Ludwig's sister, we went on a walk.
We got some coffee.
And then we came home.
And then Pranilla was like, wait, I want to go to Erwan.
So she left to go to Erwan.
And then she voice messages me.
She tells me that while she was walking to Erwan, this man came running outside of his house.
And he was like, he was like, oh, hey, I'm really sorry, but you were with a blonde girl earlier.
And she was like, yeah.
And he was like, she is perfect.
And I love her.
Was it a gay man?
Isn't that crazy?
No.
There's no other reason.
Yeah, straight men don't say that.
No, no, they don't.
No, they don't say she's perfect.
And I love her.
You know what?
You're right.
If a gay man said it, it's normal.
This guy's definitely a stalker.
Well, that's what I said.
I was like, oh, it's a stalker.
He's like, no, he said that she's like, she is my perfect definition of a woman, which is crazy because he hasn't met me.
But wait.
This guy.
Do you have like a learning disability?
No.
What's wrong with him?
I don't know.
Apparently, he's like, I was like, what did he look like?
Maybe I've seen him.
Maybe I've talked to him at the car.
It was just lovely.
She said he was like, like a 6'4 African-American muscly man.
And I was like, whoa, okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, I've got suitors.
Yeah.
What's lovely doing before you do that?
Well, he beat you guys at basketball.
Yeah, he did.
You what?
I was on his team.
Why would you fucking, that's an open wound right now.
Do you win ever?
You lost this morning.
I did lose.
I lost twice this morning.
I lost against Alexa twice today.
I lost against Alexa.
Alex and I were on the same team and we lost Alexa twice today.
Way to go.
Thank you.
It's normal, though.
I mean, that's just what happens.
People don't have any context as to who's good at basketball.
They're now thinking you're actually cracked.
Which is fine.
You're not good.
You somehow were a little slippery guy.
Dude, I get real sweaty.
Because fucking Stans wasn't guarding you the entire time.
And we made it.
We figured it out after the fact.
I was like, why were you always wide open?
And he's like, oh, it's because I'm really sweaty.
And Stans was like, oh, I don't want to guard you.
You're too sweaty.
So we just stopped guarding that.
That's the first thing he said when he came in.
He's like, you were fucking wet.
I'm like, you're yucky.
It's the most unacceptable thing I've ever heard.
I was like white knuckling on the way home.
I was like, I was driving very fast to make it to the podcast because we were 30 minutes late too.
No, I love it because he accelerates really quickly all the time.
But I tell him to do that.
Yeah, no, to be fair, I didn't tell him.
I was telling him to stop.
No, Alexa kept saying, like, stop, keep going faster.
And I was like, okay.
This motherfucker calls me a bad driver all the time.
You are a bad driver.
No.
You're a bad driver.
You're a bad driver.
Only sometimes.
No, you're always bad.
Every time I've been in the car with you.
Wait, really?
What do you do wrong?
I wasn't a bad driver.
It was just a fast driver.
What do you do wrong?
What I don't know.
This is what I don't know.
What does he do wrong?
I just feel like, I just feel like he is driving, but at the same time, he's texting in his head.
Oh.
He's thinking about who he needs to reply to.
Bad Driver Confessions00:05:08
No, I'm sure.
I am.
See, a lot of people think that I'm a bad driver because sometimes I don't stay in the lane.
You know what I mean?
Sometimes I verge off into other places.
But what people feel like that's the most important part of it.
No, no, no.
Hold on.
But hear me out.
I think sometimes you have to understand that following the rules to a T doesn't allow you to improvise.
And I think that by driving sometimes without outside the lines, you actually can avoid a lot of accidents.
And they are literally, you're like a kid who colors outside the lines and it's like, no, this is modern Picasso.
Yeah.
No.
He's so bad at driving, he almost killed us while we were doing the Price is Right promo.
Oh, yeah.
Did you not almost kill me?
Price is right, bro.
It's name your price, first of all.
Name your price.
You're going to get me shot.
You said that was so much steamed on here.
It's like, oh my God.
Very different jobs.
I killed, almost killed him, but in my defense, we were filming.
And like, I was distracted.
Yeah.
I mean, so would have been great for you.
It would have just been the best episode.
Could you imagine?
I'd be like, I have to step in now.
There'd be a few thousand people like celebrating that you did it too.
Yeah.
You could lean into it and be like, it was intense.
Yeah.
I'd become like a conservative hybrid politician.
You could be, you could be like, there's a lane for it.
You'd be like the conservative.
You could be like the gay guy who just hates gay people.
I mean, yeah.
Oh my God.
Speaking of gay people, you guys have our gay.
No, yeah.
He's going to like it.
He's going to like it.
You have a problem.
There's something that's illegal in Australia.
It can be done here, which is gay conversion therapy.
Gay sex.
Wait straight meeting.
It's legal.
Yeah.
Like another place to do it.
Wait, really?
Would you be down to do gay conversion therapy?
Wait, so do you get converted to be gay or to be stressed?
Well, that's what we become gay.
You become strange.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, that's awesome.
Are they going to allow you to film there?
No, we got secret.
Yeah, but when's this being released, actually?
Well, actually, no Christian is watching this.
In 12 hours?
Yeah, they don't fucking watch this shit.
They're too...
No, they won't watch.
So I would be down.
Depends on when.
We'll talk about it.
But I would love to do that because I would, first of all, it would never work.
What if it did?
So that's what I brought up.
I was like, yeah, this would suck.
I brought it up.
It is there.
I don't.
What if I don't?
It has an 80% success rate.
That's what it's like.
No, it definitely doesn't work, but I'm worried that it would be like traumatizing.
But then it's like, is it traumatizing if you like obviously know it's bullshit?
You know what I mean?
I mean, what do they do?
Show you gay porn and then zap you?
What if I develop an episode?
Get you to like admit all your like past gay experiences in front of an audience, and then they what then they like I do that all the time I'll be like, Yeah, so I was this guy where I was getting roadhead and I couldn't even stay between the lanes, you know.
The thing about it is that that'd be awesome because I would just tell really explicit gay stories.
That's like his type five, that's literally that's dude.
That'd be perfect.
He's gonna turn the audience together.
What's so good about it?
Is that the people usually doing the therapist and the conversion?
They're all secretly gay, so many of them are coming out as gay.
So, I would love it if you went and told stories, and then the guy was just like he slips you his number.
I would just like to just tell my stories and then just fucking get him off with it.
I would tell my erotic stories in such detail.
Wait, so you guys have done research on it, though.
Like, you so you know what, like, what how is the process?
How does it go?
So, you call them up, and then you do like a one-on-one counseling session.
Then, they usually put you into like a group thing, and then it becomes like a struggle session.
Like, you got um, I don't know, you they got that from Mao.
They were like, exactly.
Yeah, their Mao is Mao is the original gay, anti-gay therapist.
Yeah, it sounds like it's a scam as well, or it's kind of like a like a pyramid scheme, a little not pyramid scheme, but you keep on paying for more and more people.
You keep on finding more gays, yeah.
They're like, You're almost there, like a little bit more.
Now, you have to get level 10.
What's their mission statement?
Is to like convert like X amount of gays.
They say it in a really kind of like roundabout way, they're just like from perverse sexual thoughts, and like and but then all the statements are like uh like things from people that have done it are like, Yeah, I wanted to be, I had I was a disgusting gay man, and now I got a wife.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, I'm a disgusting gay man with a wife.
Would you be now?
I feel like you're too nervous.
Like, I feel like you get too nervous and you'd panic, and you'd be like, Am I going to secretly actually work on something?
I mean, you know what?
If it happens, so be it.
It was God's choice for me.
It worked, and you know what?
You know what?
Maybe it's maybe I'd go to heaven.
Oh, yeah, that's a bonus.
Right, isn't that a bonus?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, are you guys gonna do it too?
Yeah, but we don't know what the ethics of it are because we'd have to pretend to be gay.
Well, I'll sign off.
Yeah, you're gonna be sorry.
Stealing Thousands of Dollars00:13:58
Good, good.
What's the what's the like how many gays do we need to like get a do we need to put a petition together and dude?
I think I don't think anybody's gonna be, I don't think anybody's gonna be like, Oh, you guys are queer baiting to do a gay conversion therapy expose.
But we also thought it'd be funny if we pretend we thought it was being converted to become gay, so we go and we kind of like you know, we don't explicitly say we're gay, but then we like at the end of like, wait, But yeah, if it works, that you can be converted, like, converted straight.
That means it can be means it's the other way around.
Ah, interesting, which is kind of a funny angle because I don't think they would admit to that.
Yeah, there's got to be people that troll this place, maybe that was a good thing.
I know people pay for it, right?
How much makes it really expensive?
The beginning one was cheap, but then afterwards, they were saying it's like spending $25,000 on it.
They hook you on a little taste of heterosexuality.
$25,000.
$25,000.
God damn.
Heterosexuality isn't that fucking good.
Okay.
I'm a person therapy video bought to you by HelloFresh.
I think when you got Brandon made me gay.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
How much would you take?
Never mind.
I don't want to do that.
No, no, go ahead.
How much would it cost?
For what?
To be gay?
Yeah, to be gay for you.
We were considering doing it for free.
We were like, I'm going to do a video.
I'll just have it.
Like, fucking orange.
Yeah, just fucking.
But my girlfriend was like, no.
No, she didn't want that.
Yeah, and I was annoying.
First D-Rex charity videos, you're sexy.
Babe, it's work.
Yeah, come on.
We got to try it.
How are you enjoying your stay in the United States so far?
It's nice.
You've been here several times.
I'd probably ask.
Yeah, no, but every time I've been really scared, I realized United States makes sense when you have a car.
This is the last time we drove, and it was beautiful.
It was nice.
Like, wind in your hair, trees, like somewhere.
She was driving.
Yeah.
No, it is nice though.
We're getting, I'm getting used to it.
You're driving to a car.
No, no.
But we're driving.
Was it your car or Murat's car?
My car.
But you let them drive your car?
Not that.
Not that.
I told him he could drive.
They don't even drive on.
That's crazy.
It was fucked.
They don't even drive on our side of the road.
He gave them the keys to the car.
He won't.
I gave him my house.
I wasn't here.
They were staying here for seven days while I was gone.
You wouldn't give me the keys to your car.
Yeah, because I don't trust you.
You've seen Alexa driving.
It's not good.
I would steal him.
Amazingly.
No, I'm the best driver in the world.
Do you think, would you file a police report if I stole your car?
Like, that is a, that is a really I could get away with a lot of things because he won't do that.
I see.
Stolen.
I've stealed so much shit from Hassan all the time.
What have you stolen?
As soon as I get here, I always steal some snacks.
I've stolen some forks.
I've stolen a cup.
I go crazy.
Like, you guys can take it.
Socialism.
I stole.
I stole a blanket one time.
I brought a blanket.
I contributed a blanket one time.
I stole some of his jewelry.
And I gave it to a guy and he wears it now.
I've never gone high value.
I'm not even kidding.
It's like a piece that he wears consistently and it's just Hassan's jewelry that I stole.
I should go more high value.
Yeah, you should.
Yeah.
I'm working my way up to the car.
I don't know what I'll do with it when I get it, but it'll be very exciting.
What do you think we could do?
I mean, you could do.
This is your dream.
Do you want me involved?
This is my dream.
Okay, sorry.
But you can be a part of it.
Anyone can be a part of it.
I just like stealing from Hassan specifically.
I think stealing is fun, but only when it is Hassan.
I've stolen a few things for.
I've stolen a lot.
Oh, yeah.
Doesn't it feel good?
It feels great.
Yeah.
What do you, what do you, what did, what have you stolen?
My best.
My best thing is probably a large amount of money.
What?
Really?
Bro.
So I was working at a bottle store.
Bottle?
Bottled.
And I was working there for like six months.
BWS is the name.
Why are you revealing crimes?
This is fine.
Lock him up off.
Because the statute of limitations, like, we're past.
Yeah, I don't know.
He's in America right now.
It doesn't matter.
But I would consistently just do this thing because I knew there were cameras on the till, but like every single day I would steal like 200 bucks and I worked there for God.
I think I probably stole like two, three thousand dollars.
Bro, that's like a big crime.
They never caught me until now.
And then when they looked at the camera, they caught the other woman stealing who worked there because she was just taking it.
But I would always like do it, pull it onto the floor and then step on it so it gets stuck on my shoe and then walk to the back of the uh cool room where there was no cameras and then put it in my pocket.
That's brilliant.
And I yeah, like, where's this money going, man?
Yeah, it was great.
I stole a bunch of Google phones.
Oh my god, yes.
You were an accomplice.
Yeah, I was an accomplice in that as well.
So I was doing like promo work where I was like looking pretty in front of phones and being like, yeah, try this.
Wait, you were a model for a phone?
He was not a model.
He was not a model.
He was one of those people.
They have no one else.
One of those annoying people.
And no one else in Australia.
I'm a good looking guy in Australia.
This is Hollywood.
It's different here.
You guys have celebrities.
Bro, I want to show your baby photos so bad.
I mean, that is when I was modeling my car.
Yeah, yeah.
And just in the back room, we had like 100 of them.
So every now and then, I'd just like take one.
And then I'll put it on like they ever catch you?
No.
Oh, my God.
How much money do you think you made?
$600 per phone.
These are like, these are like felonies.
Both of you.
I was just being like kind of fun.
You guys actually committed felonies.
Bro, they're fucking carnies.
They murder me.
Wait, have you stolen anything, Kitty?
I lied about stealing the cup.
I didn't even steal anything.
What do you mean?
Yeah, I lied about that.
When I was young.
Oh, yeah.
When I was young, I stole those little Pokemon.
Like, we had these things called Tussle in Turkey, and it would come out of a bag of chips.
And you'd play, like, you'd smack this, like, little, like, it was almost like a plastic tin coin.
Tussle.
Yeah, Tazo.
Oh, Tazo, isn't he?
Taza.
Hazard.
Hazard.
Anyway, and I would, I, I would, like, fucking yoink them for my classmates.
And I felt like kind of like bad about it.
I also would steal sweets.
Hudibo has like jelly beans.
Haribo.
They had like these, these, uh, these like strawberry flavored hearts.
And they also had the Coca-Cola ones.
And I would steal those.
I was a fat kid and my parents wouldn't let me have it.
So I would just like steal it.
And then one day I stole from like I was, man, I was a fucking demon when I was a kid.
One day I stole from one of my father's friends' sons.
I stole like a Game Boy.
And my dad was like, where did you get that?
Obviously.
He pulled me.
He pulled me into a fucking, he pulled me into a parking lot.
I still remember.
It was so traumatic.
He's like, where did you get that, son?
You need to admit.
You need to come clean.
I was crying.
I was bawling.
I never stole again.
That was it.
And I still, to this day, I will never steal.
I've been just committing petty crime recently.
Just gross from the grocery store.
No, like I'll just be constantly flying into state.
Well, no, I just kind of like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Because I'm on the run.
I'm a fugitive.
But it's like, you know, like, just like, hey, you know what?
I did a bottle of water.
I forgot to scan it.
No, that's good.
It's usually on accident.
Like, I'll forget to scan it and I'll be like, you know what?
They don't care.
No.
You know, it's a tax deduction.
I just remembered the worst person, the worst stealing spray.
Worse than what you've done.
So just ethically, when I was a child at school, the groundskeeper had a dickhead.
Had a learning disability.
And he collected Jurassic Park toys.
And I was obviously a child.
So I was like, I like it.
I can't hear this story.
This is for weeks.
I would wait for him to go out.
When he was mowing the ward, I would sneak inside his shed and take the dinosaurs.
Obviously, my mom was like, you don't have money.
Where are you getting these dinosaur toys from?
So then I told my mom where I got them from.
She rang up the principal and then I had to apologize and give back.
How did you become a leftist?
That sounds very...
That's how you become a leftist.
You steal.
I didn't really have a conscience when I was a child.
No, I didn't either.
No, but you, we left, we leftists steal from the rich.
Now I see that.
No, I stole from other kids.
Like, it was fucked up.
I think that's so much more fucked up than like stealing from your place of business, which is totally valid and cool.
Yeah.
Or even like when you're stealing from like, I don't know, like a big business or whatever.
I think like genuinely stealing shit from other people is the grossest thing you can fucking do.
Oh, yeah.
No, I wouldn't.
And steal from another person.
And now, like, now that I think about it, like, even, even, I don't think I've ever revealed this story.
I think I might have revealed it one other time because it's like such deep shame that I feel, even though I was like literally fucking like eight.
You know what I mean?
Like I was a baby, which is really fucked up because I think when you're a baby, you just genuinely don't have a conscience at all.
Like you're just a blank slate.
You could be a real psycho.
And but yeah, luckily I turned out well.
What was that story?
No, no, it was a Game Boy one.
My stepsister was a klepto.
And so she would come and I'd go to my dad's every other weekend.
I'm a kid, and she'd come into my room and steal the weirdest shit.
Like, just the just shit to steal shit.
Like, yeah, she would steal bras and tampons.
And, like, like one time she stole the tampons, and then I start my period.
I'm not gonna ask my fucking dad for a tampon.
How embarrassing!
Rather kill myself, your sister.
And but my well, my sister, I don't want to talk to my sister when you're when you don't understand when you're a baby girl and your vagina is bleeding, you don't want to tell anyone.
You are swine on this earth and you deserve to hide in your hole.
And so, yeah, Kaya is gross when you bleed.
Um, she doesn't care, she's a free bleeding queen, and and so she would just steal all these things.
And then, when when my stepdad, or my, I went to my dad, and some of them, my stepmom, confronted her, and she was just like, No, these are mine.
And then my stepmom took her side.
Isn't that crazy?
Was she like her biological mom?
Yeah, that's why she took her side, but it was like literally my bra.
Anyway, we hate her.
So, I there we go.
I'm with you, Queen.
No, I have to go spend the week with them, actually.
So, hopefully, this doesn't get a fucking potato farm.
I'm going to potato farm.
Oh my god, you're cooked.
It's over.
If I can get on the airplane, I've actually been looking at property.
No, you haven't.
I have, actually, I'm not even kidding.
You literally texted me this morning and said, Do I have a place to stay at your place?
And I said, No.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sleeping on the streets tonight, guys.
I just want to let you know this is.
It's not just our fault.
You turned a bedroom into a podcasting.
Yeah.
We did do that.
You could sleep in here.
That's true.
Yeah, you want to sleep on the son could walk three feet and be late somehow.
Yes, I was, I was 35 minutes late, and that is mostly because of Ludwig.
He came 30 minutes late, and then the game went on for way too long.
For the record, I want to let the record show that all these boys were sweaty before they got here.
And I tried to overrule them.
I said, Let's just roll it.
Let's just run it.
Let's just go.
He said it'll be good for the views.
I did say that.
And unfortunately, not only are we depriving people of good, solid feet picks, which what has happened by introducing the table.
I mean, none of us are wearing shoes right now.
And our feet are actually, we got piggies.
We can put them up.
No, I'm not putting them up.
My fit up.
Disgusting.
Oh, yeah.
His feet are so great.
Wait, wait, but to be honest, I think somebody's probably into him.
Yeah.
Also, also, what do you mean?
You're not putting your feet up.
They're disgusting.
They're prominently featured in every video.
Yeah, but that's why when they're not, I'm not in my videos.
I'm not going to show them because I'm like, you have to go watch my videos.
They are fucking a medical anomaly.
I think.
I love his hands and feet because mine are really fucked up and his are the only ones that are worse than mine.
So like I always just go.
I always just go, yeah, look at his hands.
Aren't they fucked up?
Don't look at mine.
It makes mine look better in comparison.
So I love that.
Yeah.
Yours look great.
Thank you.
Very proud.
Will always make fun of me.
He says, like, I, you know, my thumb looks like disfigured.
I mean, it does, but it does.
Dude, yeah.
He's, he's, he's like me on steroids with the fucking finger eating.
Anyway, um, yeah, so I uh just got back from Croatia, uh, Alexis's favorite country, and I brought gifts.
I brought gifts for everybody on this podcast.
You did, yes.
Well, your gift is shit because you notoriously because he's you steal from you.
No, I literally, no, no, no, no.
I'm gonna tell you exactly why.
You notoriously will take the gift I get you and I like will put a lot of thought and effort into it and you will just place it right next to you where you sit.
I don't even know.
We probably threw it out at this point because we changed the set and you'll just leave it there.
And I'm like, you do do that.
I do do that, but you know what?
It shows that he wants to, he's giving gifts for the wrong reasons.
Yeah, I'm no, think about it this way.
No, no, thank you when you go out to give gifts.
You're like, what are they going to do with my gift?
As opposed to, I want to do a nice gesture.
You see what I'm saying?
Yes.
Yeah, I still got you.
See what I'm saying?
I still got you, but you got money.
But he's thinking, he's like, I'm going to do that.
It's selfish.
It's really what it is.
I'm going to get him a shitty gift because he's not going to take it home and use it.
You're on a test trial.
Depending on what you do with the gift I got you, you are on your son.
I'm going to take this home, but the next one better be a G-Wagon.
Trump and the RNC00:10:50
Okay.
It's a big leap from you know, mini gifts that I get when I'm thinking about you guys when I'm overseas.
Okay.
First of all, we'll go by order.
Judy Cinderella.
I went to the communism museum and I got you a mug.
I don't even know what communism means, no matter how many times you guys explain it to me.
This is a mug that says, Good morning, communism.
It's got tanks on it.
It's beautiful.
Red History Museum David Dobrik.
No, Dubrovni.
Dubrovni.
Thank you, David Dobrik, for this mug.
That's awesome.
Thank you.
What's that mean?
What's Oka Berberberdars?
What's that?
Give me a new mag.
Give him.
No, there's something in there.
What's this?
What's what?
Read it.
Okrafest.
What the hell?
It's in Russian.
Oh.
Octov Octovless.
It's probably October Revolution.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
What does this say?
My favorite revolution.
It's also this is a kit for the personal protection of citizens.
Is there a bomb in there?
This, by the way, I thought it was an IED.
That was my first time.
This also is tanked.
Jesus Christ.
It's a gas mask.
Yeah.
I got you a Yugoslavian gas mask, and I believe it was made in the Slovenian.
No, that's not.
That's not how gas masks are.
It doesn't come with the gas.
This is for Yugoslav preparedness.
They were doing this in the 80s and 90s.
Yeah.
Got that for you.
Where does this go?
Does this go on?
What's the point of the penis hole?
That's for sucking it, guys.
That's for sucking a penis in an emergency.
Weird.
You also have a.
You should test it.
For Alexa, I got you.
I got you Josipa Lisach.
Pretty good.
Did I say it right?
Josipa Lisats.
Josipa Lisatz.
Whose famous hits include Oznoj Mlav Dosti.
And Srela.
That was great.
Okay.
Srela Samsenjim.
I knew that the first two words.
Srecha.
That's perfect.
And pro privi put.
And plasiem.
Did I say that right?
Do you like her?
Plato.
She's like, she's like the Janice Joplin of the old country.
Yeah.
Here you go.
That's pretty cool.
I want to say that.
They're very Croatian.
I wanted to make sure that it was like, well, because you're so you love Croatia so much.
Alexa's Serb.
Alexa is a Serb.
I don't know why I said that like a slur.
He's a fucking Serb.
So that's why I'm jabbing at him.
But I wanted to make sure it was from at least like the Tito era.
Last but not least, for Austin, I got a tote bag with a star on it.
Oh, it's the Rail History Museum de Bro.
You know what?
I think that's a very nice gift, and I like it better than anything else because it's functional.
That's why I got it for you.
It's functional.
I can put my things that I left here.
You can steal more stuff from her hotel.
She's walked outside.
I'm going to load the fuck up.
We should get it.
You guys got a gift.
We got you a present from the girl.
I won't steal your underwear, okay?
Okay.
You can steal my underwear.
It's fine.
That'd be really, that'd be a strange thing for me to do.
I know.
Wouldn't that make you uncomfortable if I stole your underwear?
If anybody has any on eBay, I think I give for sale for charity.
All right, let me get my gift.
This is from Australia.
Um, after you saw a similar show at the we had, yeah, no, I didn't even see it.
Jesus.
No, it's just a song.
Get it out.
I was trying to see if someone.
Oh, it's me.
It's me, shirt.
This is my under.
You can't even see my shit.
I know, but it was just a lot.
I was trying to see if they were selling his underwear, but it just popped up with underwear pictures of Hassan in his underwear.
I mean, I don't know.
I've seen better.
Oh, wow.
The guy is weirdly ruthless.
Okay.
No, no, no.
You know how I feel about you.
No, I don't.
I'm going to put this on now.
Oh, he's so he does this sometimes.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Totally.
You just said I look like shit.
Oh, come on.
I need better sex.
You look like Clark Kent, okay?
Jesus Christ.
Come on, put that on.
You could have done it.
You could have done it in here.
What are we if this was me?
You'd be giving me shit right now.
Yeah, me too, actually.
No, I would.
No, I wouldn't.
I'm not like that anymore.
You did get mad at him for going off camera to change once.
Yeah, thank you, K. Are you starting to see the double standard here?
Yeah.
It's very strange.
I got mad at him.
Whoa, that's nice.
That's really sweet.
Oh, that's really good.
I got mad at him.
I got mad at him for being off camera because he's got sexy ads.
Yeah, sometimes.
I love this shirt.
Thank you.
You guys should go to the big bass pro shop.
Have you been there?
We went to Warming.
Yeah.
Memphis or wherever it is.
You went to that one?
No, we went to one, which is like a big old land art.
Big cottage.
Oh, you got to go to the Memphis one.
It was good.
That's the one.
It was indoors.
Is Memphis near?
I don't even know this, but this is such a cutie style question.
But is Memphis near Milwaukee?
Maybe we can go after the RNC.
Yeah.
Tennessee.
Nothing more.
I don't know where anything is.
I don't know why I asked you guys.
Chicago, Chicago.
Yeah.
Tennessee is by Wisconsin.
Oh, oh, is it?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin?
Yeah, and Milwaukee's in Wisconsin.
And Memphis is in Tennessee.
You could loop around, surely.
That's how that works.
This is Australian-owned, Australian-made big fish.
How many hours?
So that means it's just an hour flight, though.
Just for Bass Bro.
We go there on the way to the RNC.
Are you guys going to the RNC?
When are you going?
Where is the RNC?
Like next week?
It's in Wisconsin?
Nice.
What's RNC stand for?
Republican National Convention.
Oh.
You think he's going to win?
Austin would know.
Austin would know he's a political commentator now.
I am a political commentator.
He's a professional political commentator.
I'm a political commentator.
I've got a lot of political takes.
Ask me a question.
I'll answer it with ease.
What does the RNC stand for?
Republican National Convention.
That's it.
He's nailed it.
That's a hard one.
DNC.
Democratic National Convention.
DND.
Dungeons and Dragons.
But ask me a political question about what's happening currently in politics, and I will give you an educated answer.
Who won the French parliament?
No, I don't give a shit about the French.
Who won the English?
The Labor Party.
Christ?
In a landslide, and they upended the Conservative Party after 16 years of rule.
Who sings Landslide?
Hold on.
Wait.
Landslide.
Let's see.
It's the Chicks.
What?
Wait.
Marine King.
No, shut up.
No, no, I know who it is.
It's not Spicy Girls.
The Chicks redid it.
No, no, I got it.
It's Stevie Nicks and who the hell is that band?
Stevie Nicks is the singer.
No, Stevie Nicks and Fleawood Mac.
Flewood Mac.
That was impressive.
Hi, guys.
You got it.
You're a political commentator.
Yeah, he's a good one.
Those are the questions you need to answer.
Come on, hit me with a real one.
Real one.
How is Biden going in the polls?
Well, it's not going well.
Exact number.
Well, I mean, actually, it improved recently.
There was a DNC.
There was a morning consult poll that came out, and I'm suffering.
And I'm really suffering right now.
And I really hope that Trump doesn't win.
Please help me.
We want Trump.
We're trying to.
No, because we're trying to get into the RNC.
And they're very particular about your media diet.
Wait, you're trying to get into the RNC?
Are you going to go to the RNC?
Yeah, I want to.
Why wouldn't I?
Wait, what do you mean you're trying to get in?
You don't have a ticket yet?
No, we want to get pressed.
That's why we're doing this podcast.
Can I tell you what I say?
I don't think I'm wearing a fish jersey.
I made a Trump cake for 4th of July.
Oh, I saw it.
It was beautiful.
Yeah, it was him doing a goat C. Wait, was that?
That was a goat seat.
Wait, was that his asshole spread?
Was that the one?
No, that's Mario.
Well, I did Trump, too, on a cake.
Is that a goat seat?
Why do they call it that?
By spreading your arms.
Yeah, a goat sea.
Is that what goats do?
Is that what you do to goats?
That's what I do to goats.
It's up to Connor would have been perfect for this.
Why?
Because he's Welsh.
He's a sheep shagger.
You know, I went back and looked at some of the Republican National Convention history of the videos.
And a lot of people have this notion that Republicans have only recently been crazy.
No.
They've been batshit crazy, like MAGA level crazy for like 25 years.
No, longer than that.
Even longer.
Like, I went and looked at convention footage, and I'm like, holy shit.
It's the same.
You know what's changed?
Is liberals have gotten worse at comedy.
Like, they've gotten worse at making fun of them.
Yeah.
They used to be so much better at making fun of them back in the day.
Yeah.
No, Republicans have always been crazy.
And it's weird that we have this notion that Donald Trump ruined the country.
It's like, no, man, Republicans are always like that.
He's just a symptom of the disease.
Thank you.
I don't know, guys.
Republicans wear sneakers too.
So I would like to keep my opinions out of that.
Judy is killing him with that market.
Yeah, you know what?
You're keeping us safe and catering to our conservative viewership.
Thank you.
I've been in the community.
I noticed this in a political podcast, but dare I say, that's the issue is Donald Trump isn't the end of this fucking movement.
And he's just, he doesn't give a shit.
All he wants is power.
Power, power, power.
You know what?
I'm going to die.
You know what?
Fucking Joe Biden wants to also power.
He also wants to just like run for re-election regardless of whether or not he can win.
I have no comment on that.
Oh, really?
Well, I'm also trying to get to the DNC.
So I like Joe Biden as well.
I would marry either of them to be the lady of the America.
Yeah, first lady.
And then the Nathan for You hot dog eating contest will be the fourth of every month.
That was last week's episode.
So it's killed, by the way.
Strip Club Reviews00:14:43
Was it good?
Marsh, did we do well on last week's All Girls episode?
Wow.
Our audience is defeating the misogyny allegations.
No, except for your dumbass said that Taylor Swift and Chapel Roan sound the same.
I don't know what Chapel Roan sounds.
I don't know who either of those are.
Oh my God.
I didn't know this.
I was literally going to do a girly pop nation on Chapel Roan today.
And then I was like, everybody knows about Chapel Roan.
That'll be so annoying.
Oh, my God.
It sounds like one of those old timey horses.
Well, it's too.
I didn't make the slideshow.
Next week.
Will you guys be here next week?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, you'll be able to.
When you get a slideshow?
40 songs that we're going to have to find out.
I met one on the show.
Hey, ladies.
Can you guys watch our shot on flames?
No.
Nor we go like 9%.
They like crush the 85%.
Okay, I need to put a pause on this podcast.
We cannot continue until you address what you are doing.
Me?
You were chewing gum.
You took the gum, you threw it in the water bottle.
Excuse me.
And you've been drinking it.
Yeah, no, I was just staring at it.
I already, this is she said it at the beginning of the podcast.
I did address it.
I addressed it.
I even asked if you were okay with it.
I was like, she started the podcast with, I'm going to put my gum in my water.
Can I just wait?
That was the first sentence out of my goddamn hormone.
Because I don't consider you to be like a clinically insane person.
I thought you meant like, oh, that's odd that she's telling us this.
She's just going to put it on the cap.
I was being an honest person.
Like, leave the cap there and like put the gum in the cap to dispose of it later.
I didn't realize you like dumped it in there and you've been drinking the water.
It's like the worm in tequila.
I just thought this was like an American thing.
I looked around.
I'm like, oh, I know.
I just don't understand.
I don't think there's anything that wrong with it.
That is what I'm saying.
It's so disgusting.
That's the most insane thing I've ever done.
It was in your mouth.
The only reason I called it out was just in case you accidentally drank my water so you wouldn't because it'd be yucky for you, but it's fine for me.
It also infuses it with some mint.
Yum.
Where else did you want me to put it?
I wasn't going to make people.
I did.
It's so cringe that you were like, QD, you have to address this when I addressed it so clearly like twice.
No, you said it, but I literally thought.
What is addressing it?
What does it mean to you, Hassan?
I didn't think you were putting it in the water.
I thought you were.
Oh, stop.
Oh, God.
Oh.
God damn it.
That was awesome.
Yes.
Do it again.
That was fucking awesome.
I feel so violated.
Fuck you, Hassan.
Splash it more.
No, no, I'm good.
Please don't do that.
He's in his own house.
What could he do?
Just get a towel.
I'm going to keep on dancing down in West Hollywood.
We need Will back so bad.
Yeah.
I don't mean the fear I have.
I miss Abbey.
Chaperone made a song about the Abbey.
I miss Will so much.
People say it's not about the Abbey.
They say it's about Jumbo's Clown Room.
Oh, I know.
We should go to Jumbo's.
I'll go to Jumbo.
I'm down with it.
That's a strip club.
Yes.
Someone told us what Jumbo's Clown Club is.
We should go.
It's one of the saddest.
It's one of the saddest strip clubs in America.
It's a strip club.
So tell me, as straight men and women, what do you guys like about going to the strip club?
I've never been to a strip club.
I think it's.
I went one time and it was definitely an HR violation.
Really?
Yeah.
So I went with my boss.
Was it a work trip?
Was there water on the floor?
Wait, but you were a wedding cake baker.
I know, but this one was gay.
I was.
They were all gay.
But I was, and this is when I was an interior designer and we went to Louisiana for a conference and we were going down Bourbon Street and it was my gay boss and his boyfriend and another gay boss and then my friend Taylor, who worked for me at the time, and then one straight man.
And we're walking and we're like, we should go into one of these strip clubs on Bourbon Street because I've never been and it's crazy.
We walked in.
It was the most depressing strip club I've ever seen in my life.
Like it was one of those things I thought we were going to go in there and I was going to throw dollar bills and it was going to be very empowering.
Instead, I went in there and I was like, oh no.
Oh no.
Strip clubs are either the greatest experience like living in Miami or they are so sad.
You're like, oh.
The first time.
Well, the only time I ever went was with Hassan in Melbourne.
And yeah.
Yeah, that was fun.
I didn't, I got a bit bored.
I just had a good time.
Drama, different experiences.
You had a good time.
No, you made fun of me.
You made fun of me.
You made fun of me because we were there.
I was getting special attention.
All I did was talk about Palestine.
You did.
I forgot you literally were talking about it.
Yes.
What else am I going to do?
One of the strippers was Egyptian, and he just was like, oh, you're Egyptian?
What do you think about Piliston?
Like, what the fuck?
Dude, imagine, like, I have...
People say I have political autism.
I don't know what it is.
But even I wasn't doing that shit.
And he was just sitting there like...
Otherwise, I'm just sitting there and like watching people.
Everybody loves hearing about baby murder, like systematic baby murder at this point.
Oh, yes.
I don't know why.
I don't know what she sounded like.
No, no, go ahead.
I don't know.
She's like, duh, darling.
Yes.
She's Egyptian.
She's Egyptian.
Yes.
She's Egyptian, but she emigrated to Russia.
Did you tip her when she told you?
No.
No, you just saw her.
We were given lots of money.
This tipping culture by me.
I gave you lots of people.
You gave me lots of money.
What do you mean?
We were given lots of money.
I gave you the money.
That's what happens when you enter a strip club.
They give you money.
What's the tipping culture like at strip clubs in Australia?
I was up in once.
He doesn't know.
He didn't give her any of the money.
Yeah, he kept that.
It's not even real money.
It's fake.
I've participated in some strip club action with my straight friends.
And I made the mistake of telling the strippers I was gay.
And they didn't like it.
They don't believe me.
And it makes them want to get me another more dancing.
That's gay conversion theory.
And I try to be like, hey, I'm gay, but I'm here to support my straight friends.
And I love what you do.
And I respect you as a professional.
That's what I said.
They couldn't figure out you were gay from that alone.
No, they couldn't.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm going to give you money because I support your work.
And that's what I did.
I was trying to do that.
I was like, you know, I would go up to them and I'd say, I don't even want to dance.
Here you go.
I support that.
That sounds like a girl.
That sounds like the thing straight guys do where they're like they like, oh, you're sneaking into the girl's sleepovers by pretending I'm gay.
Yeah, I know.
That's what you were doing.
Well, yeah, but they didn't, they didn't dain.
They wanted to give me a dance.
And I'm like, I missed.
Madam, I don't want a dance.
And then I complimented her breasts because I thought that's what she wanted.
That is also very gay, I feel like.
I don't know.
I thought, I said, you have very nice boobs and a beautiful figure, but it's just not really my thing.
And I'm here to support my friend for his bachelor party.
That's nice.
Very diplomatic.
Right?
Yeah, that's cool.
I think it was.
I think it was very, I think it was very.
Anyway, regardless, and it just goes to show you when you don't want somebody, they want you more.
So Alexa was actually lying.
We have been to a strip club before in Thailand.
It was one of those horrible shows.
And that was fucked.
That was like, you just.
Oh, like where they put it in their vagina and they pop it off.
Yeah, yeah.
And they did a thing to Alexa where they made him hold a balloon in between his legs.
She put a blowpipe under the vagina and shot a dart out and popped the balloon.
Oh.
That's pretty good.
Also, I got free sushi.
Yeah.
Oh, there was one bit where they put sushi on people on the stage and they asked for like, what do you call it?
Volunteers?
Volunteers.
And I'm like, I'll fuck them.
And you just go up and you eat sushi off them.
It was traumatized.
What the fuck?
No, I think there were different grades of trauma.
You should have brought up Palestine.
I did, but I didn't speak time.
So it just went like.
Wait, what did you guys go for a strip club?
Or why did you go to a strip club in Australia?
Just for fun?
We were hanging out with Liza Bame and Chad Ched.
Or not Chad Ched, just for fun.
Yeah, about anything for views.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you get his fucking cock at me?
Yeah.
Not in the strip club.
Surprise.
Really?
Yeah, we went to a super insane experience, like a dining experience.
Oh, yeah.
Hours and hours.
And then afterwards, we went to the strip club and it was awesome.
I had a great time.
There's a strip club in Oregon, Portland, Oregon.
And I don't know if this is inappropriate.
So we may have to cut this out.
But there is a, and I need some help from my fellow leftists.
There is a night that they, this is their night.
They dedicate to the strip club.
Okay.
And they have, is this problematic?
It's like white people only?
No.
Yeah, no, not segregated nights.
That is not what they do.
That is what Oregon is.
What is the.
They're doing the real fucking drag queen book reading.
They have a night dedicated to little people.
Yes.
Oh.
That's not weird.
Why would that be?
They're human.
No, no, I know.
And that's.
You want them to not have a bad person?
Why are you guys reacting that way?
I thought it was.
I just didn't want to say the wrong word.
It's little people?
It's little people.
Yeah, so little, little folks.
That's kind of fucked up.
They don't keep them employed the whole week.
They just give them a day.
Well, no, they dedicate a night.
Are the strippers little people too?
No, that's the thing.
No, they don't just only let little people in.
Oh, I thought they only let little people in.
No.
They don't like to come into the strip club.
No!
It's only little people's strippers.
I was imagining a sea of little people in the crowd.
No.
I thought you were.
I'm walking in.
They're like, you're six before.
You can't come in.
No.
They would let you in.
They'd let me in.
We'd all could have a good time.
I want to go and see what it's like.
And support the crowd.
I'm curious.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, but I thought it was interesting.
How do they advertise that?
They call it Tiny Tuesdays.
You know a lot about this.
I actually, I don't know if it's crazy.
I would be really fucking upset if it's not called Tiny Tuesdays.
This is my favorite.
Can you say the name of the strip club?
They should read.
I don't have any affiliation.
I know, but my favorite thing to do with strip clubs is reading the reviews.
And if this place has a day called Tiny Tuesday, I know the reviews are fired.
The Lucky Devil Lounge in Portland, Oregon.
Tiny Tuesday tonight at the Lucky Devil.
All dancers under five feet tall.
This is the advertisement.
That's awesome.
$1 B for veggie tacos.
Minnie Miller High Life's Coronaitas and Modolito's specials.
Oh, they make it small drinks.
They got four stars.
Whoa.
They're actually doing good for a strip club.
Look at the bad reviews.
Pull up a bad one.
All right.
Actually, Mark, do you want to pull it up on Yelp?
Eight months ago, I don't normally do this, but I feel truly disgusted.
Oh, wait.
This is about some.
This is about some ableism.
Yeah, that's not about Tiny Tuesday.
It was someone.
There's two deaf people there being ableist to.
Wait, so it's weird because they're pro little people, but they're anti-deaf people.
Like they're picking and choosing whichever kind of disability.
What does this mean?
What is that loss?
Wait, was there a deaf stripper or something?
No, no, there's deaf.
Okay, scroll past Cozy's because Cozy's is where they're ableist.
But go to the Elijah.
Women are very rude.
I gave $5 a dance and they told me I need to put more.
Plus, they had black holes.
Brother hasn't ever seen an asshole before.
What?
He's like, they weren't properly bleached for my $5 tips.
Andrew's a bartender, so he's in the hospitality business.
The women were amazing.
As a bartender myself, I'm amazed at the bartender.
This establishment has a job.
Rude from the start.
Constantly made my group feel bad for asking for another drink.
Like it was the hardest thing to do.
And we were, and we were the worst people for asking for one.
Cut myself and my friend off after three drinks in four hours.
Oh, yeah.
They were totally drinking.
They were there for four hours.
I fucking doubt it.
Don't waste your time here.
He wrote waist like your waistband.
The girls are fantastic, but sadly, the vibe of the entire place is one of walking on exhales hoping not to be yelled at for no reason by the bartender.
He definitely know what I have a prediction.
Bro, he went July 31st, 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. and got cut off.
Why was he there at 1 p.m.?
What?
I imagine strip clubs hit different at 1 p.m.
Business owner says, sorry, Bradley, but unfortunately we had to cut you off from booze since you were visibly intoxicated when you arrived.
This may have resulted in you not getting served that nice beer and instead getting served icy cold looks from our bartender.
They don't fuck around at the strip club.
I like this.
Because they know nobody reads the fucking reviews for the strip club.
David says this review is for seven.
Learn how to read your patrons.
Seven must be a dancer.
Take a pole class, belly dancing, modern hip-hop, whatever.
Just acquire a skill other than walking.
If you're having a bad day, hold your tongue.
Don't call patrons disrespectful names.
If you're upset or think they're misbehaving, let a bartender, bouncer, or DJ know.
For the record, my review would be a five or four star.
Wow, bro.
Amateur hour.
Amateur hour, dude.
Silence yourself.
That's crazy.
We're in the middle of some serious business.
Oh, wait.
Go to Feisher.
Worst lap dance ever.
She didn't even touch me or sit in my lap.
Just did a stage dance in a private room.
Her name is Aaliyah.
Avoid her.
Okay, let's get some top reviews now because I know that's what Stans was doing to me today.
Yeah.
In basketball.
He wouldn't touch me.
Yeah.
I think this guy was just super sweaty.
The four stars is impressive.
Anthony has his face associated with his account, which gives it more gravity.
I love coming to hang out once in a while, and everyone has always been really courteous and helpful from the bouncers, the dancers.
So I must highlight especially the dancers, Pixie and Margot.
Though I mostly go see Pixie, they were incredibly sweet and so much fun to talk.
Will you click on Anthony?
I want to see where else he goes.
I'm just curious.
No, he's done two reviews.
I'll be honest, it is a little...
Was that comment about Margo?
British Overlords Debate00:02:32
Like, not that wasn't really.
Oh, damn.
Is my mic still in?
I think Kyra unplugged it.
She's like full white.
Kyra?
I said Kai.
Hey, Kyra.
Kyar.
Kyra.
Koyar.
Are you sick of Hassan's accent yet?
We need to go.
I don't even think it was better.
I think Australia would be more offensive.
It just doesn't sound like anything.
I can't do one, really.
You can't do that.
That's great.
Fucking Rodo.
Okay, you're just playing with that.
Okay, Roda.
Rooting.
You got lessons from this guy.
Proper rooting means fucking the ass is what we're doing.
No, just means.
No, root means I'm going to root.
It means you're just going to fuck.
I'm down for a proper root.
Now you just sound British.
Yes, it's very bad.
Okay, I could visibly see you getting uncomfortable.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the same way I react to it.
How often?
How often do you guys get associated with being British?
Not often.
Not that often.
Not here.
You want to be able to do it?
Really?
Yeah.
I want Americans to recognize me as like their overlords.
Americans don't think British are their overlords.
They were at one point.
We're not fucking ourselves.
We're not a part of the Commonwealth.
I don't know if you know this, but you did Fourth of July, and that whole situation is about not being a part of the Commonwealth.
Oh my God.
What did you guys do?
You celebrated 1776, baby.
Let me tell you, the founding fathers, first they dumped the tea.
You know, I'll be honest.
Can I be real?
I was much happier when I bought into American propaganda.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really was.
Yeah.
When did you do that?
No, when I was non-political when I was a child.
Yeah.
Oh, this is great.
I was like, wow.
Fireworks or child.
Yeah, and I would just steal shit and be non-beliefable.
I loved it.
It was amazing.
Like, Hassan, every time I, like, he just made me so jaded.
And I just don't love him.
Yeah, because you're always like, oh, I love Winston Churchill.
And obviously, like, I can't just, you know, stand by and allow such a grievous thing to say for you to say.
Look, I have since changed my perspective on Winston because I originally, in my defense, he did make some powerful speeches in the beginning.
And so I thought, wow, that's great.
And then I realized he did sort of try to colonize a lot of things.
They made him look good on the crown.
I watched the crown.
He seemed like a nice guy.
One of his power seizures when he said, America will never be run by the red Indian.
Just like Palestine will never be run by the Palestinians.
Tired Flight Stories00:06:03
You don't give a dog the house.
That's Winston Churchill.
He said that.
Is that why you liked him?
No, no, no.
I am obviously Lebanese, so you know where I stand.
Wait, what?
I don't.
Can you show him the fucking thing?
No, no, no.
That's me being right.
So Alexa was like, I looked Lebanese when I was a child.
You look Lebanese now.
No, no, Alexa.
Oh, you are Lebanese.
I'm not Lebanese.
Oh.
What?
No, he's not Lebanese at all.
I thought I looked Lebanese.
He looks so Russian.
Like, I don't know who's a Lebanese.
I knew a Lebanese.
No, no, it looks like your name is Boris.
They both, dude, you look so Russian.
This one?
Yes.
Your name is Boris, and you.
He's so fast.
It's hard to imagine you without the mustache.
Yes.
Your name is Boris and your dad also named Boris.
It's fun.
My dad's name is Victor, and his dad's name is Victor.
Was your name Victor?
No.
Okay.
I wish it was.
I should change it.
I can't believe I said that.
I do know your name.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, is this a bit of a name?
No one thinks about it.
You look so Russian in that.
You do not look Lebanese.
Can I tell you guys a story or have I been talking too much today?
No, go ahead.
This is your podcast.
Yeah, you're okay.
No, no, I wasn't trying to be a cunt.
That wasn't.
I was just trying to.
No, I was just like.
I was just checking it.
You're a queen.
This is your podcast, bro.
Go ahead.
I think I made a bad impression on somebody today, and I'm insecure about it.
I sat now on a plane, and somebody sat next to me, and they're like, Are you Austin Show?
And I went, Yes, I am.
And then I put in my headphones and I didn't speak to them.
Yes.
No, but yes.
But if I'm being honest, I was really tired.
And then I also didn't speak to them.
And then I proceeded to, I was in Comfort Plus, which is right behind first class.
And I kept ordering drinks.
And I wonder why the flight attends were getting upset at me.
And I don't think that it's proper when you're not in first class to continue to order drinks.
Oh, they're free, but every time I would order one, they would think it's like, you're not up there, brother.
Like, you can't.
But then it should just be a rule that you can't get.
Yeah.
And it's like, look, so I tried to explain to him.
I said, the reason I'm not up there is because I bought this flight.
No, I didn't.
I didn't actually.
No, no, I'm rich, I promise.
No, no.
So at the end of the flight, I did talk to her, but I feel like I made a bad impression because I had to pee.
Do you remember her?
You were drunk by the end.
Do I remember her name?
Yeah.
I do, but I just want to, we'll have to keep it secret for her privacy.
That's very good.
He doesn't remember your name.
Dude, I'm definitely an annoying flyer to the flight attendants.
Yeah, you're also an annoying friend when you text me.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just trying to be like you.
Now you know how it feels.
What the fuck was that?
That was so hurtful.
No, no.
No, I like that.
No, in fact, actually, when he, can I be honest?
He reached out to me a ton when he was going on his flight.
Oh, yeah, I was panicking.
He was panicking.
It actually made me feel really good.
Why were you panicking on your flight?
Because we had a super tight delay to Dubrovnik and like the flight or we had a super tight connection.
Sorry.
And then the flight got delayed.
And what did I tell you?
And yeah, he was like, oh, don't worry.
He literally told me he has planned autism.
He was just like, oh, don't worry.
When you're actually going like eastbound, there's actually a tremendous amount of tailwind.
So you'll actually arrive way earlier than 11 hours.
They say the flight plan is 11 hours, but like it'll take probably like 10 at most.
Here's a pro tip.
I asked the fucking guy, like, what's going to happen with this like super tight connection?
Are we going to make it?
And he verbatim explained what Austin said.
And I was like, that's crazy.
So my mom was so proud of you.
Well, look, let me let me give this a little PSA and pro tip announcement.
All airlines on every flight bake in extra time for the flight so that they can improve their on-time metrics.
It also takes, you know, it takes time to taxi, especially on a long international flight going eastbound because the winds are always going that way.
So he left like 45 minutes late.
Not a problem for the on-time arrival.
He was going to make it.
And he made it on time as expected.
That's why you're held.
No, because they held the other flight because we had like 27 people.
But I told you that was an option for you.
Yeah.
We had like 27 people on our flight that was like on the connecting flight.
So there was a person that like kind of walked us through the airport.
It was, it was chill.
I thought you were stressed for other reasons, which stressed me out.
No, that was scared of me.
No, the reason why I said, hey, no, I'm not afraid of flying.
I love flying.
I don't have an issue with flying.
The reason why I'm an annoying flight person is because like I take advantage of the amenities that are given to me, specifically the electricity.
So there's an outlet in like every seat on international flights, but they don't fucking power it up until you ask them.
And I always feel like, hey, there's no power in my outlet.
And I feel like annoying when I ask them that question, but it's like, but like, that's the thing.
It's like the outlet's supposed to have electricity in it.
Yeah.
I'm trying to play Steam Deck games on my fucking Steam Deck.
I need to connect it to the outlet.
Yeah, I could see you being needy on a flight.
Can Steam Deck play The Sims?
Yes, easily.
Maybe I should get one.
Yeah, we should get one.
We're just doing nothing.
I listen to the podcast.
You like raw dog the flight.
I have raw dogged a 12-hour flight before with no entertainment.
No boy.
That is fucking insane.
I just sat there like this.
All right, we're going to talk more about that behind the Patreon.
Patreon.com/slash fear and thank you so much for coming on, guys.
Thank you, guys.
Where can people find you?
Where can people find you at Hassan's house?
Yes.
So boy boy, I did a thing.
Yeah.
Yep.
All right.
Yeah.
You can find them at my house, but don't come here.