Brittany Broski and hosts Cutie and Will dissect her career origins, political skepticism regarding Kamala Harris, and a chaotic Disney World trip where a failed proposal was interrupted by Marsh. They analyze her fandom for gay Disney villains like Hades, debate the sexualization of content featuring Austin's fishnet shirt, and correct the show's intro sound from an eagle to a red-tailed hawk. The episode concludes with a bizarre tangent about Virginia politician Mark Hunt funding the Raelian cloning movement before promoting future theme park adventures. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Medical Treatment and Snap00:11:53
Just speaking of speaking of gay, because you famously don't like them.
No, the same.
Let's go.
You hit it.
Okay, so your career was started from homosexuals.
Is that correct?
I would say that's true.
Okay.
How?
Tell us how.
I did my research.
Well, thank you.
And it seems no one else here did.
I appreciate you.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Fear and Podcast where we have a very, very special guest, Brittany.
We're also, if you might have noticed, is sitting in a very different set.
It looks like the same exact set, except improved.
There's a lot of wood.
Same exact set, but with more wood.
That's what everybody was requesting.
I'm turning on the AC.
Yeah, I think you misinterpreted what they were asking for.
Yeah.
Well, regardless, we're here.
We're live.
It's a beautiful Sunday, and we have a lot to talk about.
What's up, Broski Nation?
Brosky Nation, put some W's in the chat.
Yes.
That's right.
Do they do that?
We don't have a chat.
It's more so like a pigeon carrier system.
Very inefficient.
And they call you, you're their supreme leader.
Yes.
Right, which I love.
Yes.
By the way, I love this.
Oh, you don't love it when it's North Korea, though.
Huh?
You love it when she's a supreme leader, but you have a problem with Democratic people because she's a woman.
It's called women's rights.
I don't know anything about it.
We need, I'm waiting for our first female dictator.
Look, it will happen.
It will happen.
The glass ceiling will be.
I suspect that the likelihood that we will have a woman president as a Republican is higher than it being a Democrat.
For sure.
Despite the fact that Kamala Harris is currently the vice president and Joe Biden seems like a asshair away from death, which, by the way, this is funny because when I brought Brittany in here, I was like, listen, this is not a political podcast.
Yeah, and then he started podcasting.
Immediately started with politics.
Let's start with what we usually start with.
Ripping into each other over petty grips.
No, no, you were not again.
Okay, you were late again.
You were late again.
Don't 100 episodes streak.
Yes.
But I'm dry.
You even texted us two hours before the pod.
Guaranteed.
Well, I made something special, but I left it outside.
I'm getting it.
Is this not the what's this?
Oh, we don't edit any of this.
We don't edit.
Yeah, we just like.
Everything's face.
Let it run.
Are you late often?
You know, I try not to be, but there's something called my real last name is Tomlinson, government name reveal.
Okay, Tomlinson.
Wait, is this an exclusive leaked?
Yeah, don't believe that.
We're redacted.
Oh, wait, really?
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
We call it Tomlinson time.
Okay.
Usually my parents relate and then we're like waiting and they're like trying because I don't like it.
It's a nasty feeling.
But if it happens, it happens.
I've started to relax about being late.
That's really because I realize people don't care that much.
It's true.
You know what I mean?
True.
Well, I mean, what are you saying right now?
We definitely do care.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
That is an art piece.
I made it for Britney.
Oh, wow.
Wait, is that edible?
Like, what's the deal with it?
It's a hat.
This is so, so heavy.
You got it.
I don't know where you wear it.
This is so cute.
Oh, my God.
This is like with snap and jack.
The beefiest night.
Oh my God.
And I brought that.
She got you a gift, but it's also like a death trap.
No, this is gorgeous.
I know you like it.
Madeline's.
Did you make those?
Yeah, but they're kind of stuck.
Okay.
Put this right here to admire.
That is here.
It's heavy.
You'll look great.
Going like this all night.
Yeah.
Or a cookie.
They're kind of stuck together because you're not supposed to put them in a container like this.
It's lemony.
That's orange.
There's orangey.
There you go.
Yeah.
Oh, that's delicious.
Do you do brownies?
Do you cook brownies?
I have the best brownie recipe in the world.
Go ahead and tell it to me because I might not do you.
Oh.
Let me know.
Challenge.
You know what would go really well with these?
What is yours?
Wait.
These macaroons.
Those are whatever this is.
What is it called?
Madeline's a coffee.
It would have gone so well.
No, no, no.
It's okay.
It would have gone grateful, bitch.
It would have gone so well.
We're sitting in his $25 million mansion.
That's on.
It's Pride Month.
It's thank you.
It's Pride Month.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It is Pride Month.
It's so great to have an ally.
Brittany, no, it's important.
Next to Cutie, another ally on the podcast.
Thank you so much.
It is important that Brittany brought up Pride Month.
Yes.
I've got to tell you a story.
This is really interesting.
Let's get into it.
We, for the last year, have been planning a trip to Disney for our first time ever going to Disney.
Yeah.
Because I looped out of that email throughout the world.
I think that's very strange.
But we scheduled it to go on Pride so that we could.
Because, you know, well, Brittany's a Disney adult, so she understands.
You know how they have like Oogie Boogie Bash?
Yeah, 100%.
So they have Pride Night now.
And so we went to, we got special tickets for Pride Night.
Very exciting.
And we get Rainbow Merch.
It's a whole thing.
Yeah.
Oh, an expert.
Why are you saying yes?
Were you a part of the situation?
Yeah, so.
Will, go on with your story.
Hey, yeah, silence, gay man.
I don't know if I told you, but we're a year of planning.
I don't know if I told you, but we're actually funded by a Republican Super PAC.
We were blown.
That's why they always, they're going to try to smear me.
Go ahead, Anonymous.
Will, please continue with your.
No, I mean, all this deflection is so crazy.
I can't.
Go ahead.
No, please.
We are blown off by officials.
No, not blown off.
I gave them advance notice.
Council, would you like to prepare your statement?
Yes, no.
What were you doing?
You were getting a medical treatment or something.
Oh, that's right.
You were getting a turn.
He was getting his ass.
You were doing dick.
That's the medical bed.
Thank you, Cutie.
It was good.
No, I had a little bit of a family emergency.
That is.
Dude, that is crazy.
Okay.
Why lie?
Well, I don't know what else I'm supposed to say.
It's in his nature.
He can't help it as a gay man.
Brittany, have you ever been betrayed by one of your friends?
Totally unrelated topic.
So I'd like to know what the truth is.
So here's the truth.
He was throwing a twink around like we get thrown around on the matter horn.
Okay.
Now, Brittany, I do have to come clean here.
That's in.
Okay, like this is what he was doing.
Okay.
Brittany, I had made plans to see somebody that I won't see in a long time.
And I mistakenly double scheduled.
And unfortunately, it was over the week at which we had Disney Pride.
And I tossed and turned.
No, you didn't.
It kept you up at night.
It did keep me up at night.
You've done this?
You did to miss out on such and actually I would I had so much FOMO.
They did a stream.
You all went regardless?
Yeah, they're planned a year in advance.
That's what's see, Brittany, now you see where I'm coming from.
I'll take that.
And it's fucked.
It's fucked.
See, that's what I'm saying.
I just so much.
Finally.
Finally, everybody understands where I'm coming.
I needed.
I'm so happy.
We needed this.
We needed this.
Why people go to Olive Garden and be like, that's this.
It is my month, and they went without me.
I just can't.
They decided, you know what?
Fuck you.
That's what they said.
That is what they said.
I don't believe in that.
And they left and they went and they had a great.
No, but in all seriousness, I talked to them beforehand.
They totally understood.
Right.
How are we convinced right now?
You literally, you, there is nothing we can do about changing the date of Pride Month.
It is a date that Disney has assigned for Pride Month.
They only gave two days to the gays.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy?
That's the thing.
That's upsetting.
Yeah.
Is I just, it was a mistake.
I forgot.
And please forgive me, all of you.
Did y'all have fun?
We had a matching.
We had a phenomenal time.
We got matching rings.
We had a magic.
Yeah, we got matching rings.
And you got us all matching rings.
And you know what?
I couldn't be more happy for you guys.
We didn't get you anything.
He was, he was.
Oh, show your ring check.
He was writing a storm.
He was writing up a storm.
Infinity Stones from the Avengers, but also the gauntlet, of course.
Yes.
Thanos ex RuPaul.
Yeah.
Famously.
The crossover we've been waiting for.
Better work.
Thanos.
What song do you think Thanos would lip-sync to?
Thanos would lip sync for his life to stop the world.
Help with you.
And Mel with you.
And he'd do the snaps.
Yes, 100%.
I love that.
And then everyone would die.
They'd die.
It would be so good.
But anyway, we've gotten over it.
No, we have.
We're not done.
We're not done with this aspect of the show.
I think we're going to keep talking about this.
I just, I thought we were over QDA.
So, no, we are not over it.
So it was a lot of fun.
We had a phenomenal time.
There were a lot of fans there.
Shouts out to Hillary who hooked this up, who, you know, let us cut the line on numerous rides.
Many, much, many joyous moments were had.
Yeah, she's done.
She doesn't have a job no more.
Not supposed to do that.
Shout out to Hillary, though.
Austin.
That'll pay her bills.
Austin also, I mean, we tried to bring Austin into the conversation.
Okay.
We tried to bring Austin into the experience.
We called him multiple times.
He did not pick up, even though, and I went back and I looked at it.
He was in the Discord writing up a story.
No, I was asleep when they called.
They called, I was on Eastern time zone.
They called me at 1.30 in the morning.
Oh, that's really mean.
And the last call was from Will Neff at 3.30 in the morning.
I've got the reason.
That's because I was drunk and I missed you.
No, I know, no.
And I appreciated it.
And I woke up to so many missed calls.
And I just want to say thank you to all of you for helping me because I woke up and I was like, wow, they wanted me there so bad.
They did.
And I wanted to.
No, I'm serious, genuinely.
We weren't placing bets on who you would answer the phone.
I knew that's what it was.
You know, when you see a bunch of missed calls from all your friends and you know they're together.
Yes.
They're all right before that.
I haven't even seen the footage.
They were like, I bet he's going to pick up on me.
And then they all.
You knew.
Yeah.
No.
But they did call me.
I was asleep genuinely.
I would have picked up.
You know me.
Any chance to be on camera.
Yeah.
Except for Disney Pride Month, which was your event.
Yeah.
I have a very important question for Brittany.
Let's hear it.
Judy's Choice and Disney Pride00:12:22
From Disney Freak to Disney Freak.
I see you.
Of Disney, would you get your freak on?
Oh, this is a wide-ranging question.
Oh, there's a lot of characters.
I know, right?
Could I make you a wild-ranging answer?
I will start.
Okay.
How freaked do you want me to get?
When I was a baby, I had a crush on baby Simba.
Of course.
As I became not a baby, you can't have a crush on Baby Simba.
Naturally, but like I can remember how Baby Me felt about Baby Simba.
Yes.
I'll never forget.
You wanted to fuck Baby Simba?
As a baby.
Yeah.
But as I became an adult, I became more of a Scar girl.
But all of these guys are saying Scar is gay.
Scar's gay.
Most Disney villains are gay.
You know, I've never seen off our Herculean.
He's got like a crew of miscreants, his brothers, like the jock.
No, he's almost gay Hercules.
What?
Not Hercules.
Oh, Hades.
Hades.
Hades.
No, Hades is gay.
I'm a believer.
I'm a firm believer in all Disney villains are gay.
Okay.
When you think about it, almost every single Disney villain is Zorg.
I don't know which one that is.
I don't even know what that is.
Wait, is that in Buzz Lightyear?
Yeah.
Confirmation.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You probably know that.
You could see if you catch him at certain angles.
He's wearing a dress.
Think about it.
Pull up.
March, pull up iconic Disney villains and let's go through it.
We are skirting the issue, though, Brittany.
Which Disney character would you pay?
Well, like, my God, name a movie and I'll give you one.
Like, it really is like that.
101 Dalmatians.
101 Dalmatians, the dad.
Gorella.
Yeah, the dad.
Bambi.
Bambi.
The dad.
That is a hot beer.
That's not a bad choice.
Yes.
Oh, Shir Khan is hot as a tiger if you're into that.
Oh, I would agree with that, actually.
He's a hot tiger.
Wow.
Marsh, you show that too.
So, can we go through this list real quick?
Like, number one, Malecifent.
Maleficent.
You got it.
Close.
Maleficent.
Okay, listen.
English is my second language, and that's a hard word.
Okay.
That's a hard word to read.
You got it.
Maleficent.
Smash or past.
Smash.
Smash because Angelina Jolie adaptation.
Wait, what about Ursula?
I mean, she's the original queen.
She's the thing.
I would say probably number one for me, either Aladdin or Nick Wild from Zootopia.
Okay.
Which one is that?
Let me see.
Fox.
Yeah, that's going to be Jason Bateman.
There we go.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
You're a furry.
Yeah, you're a furry.
That's why I said, well, I mean, what's the filter for this answer?
Because it's kind of furry.
Okay.
Counter them.
Show them Judy Hopps.
Yep.
Just because I feel like the boys need it.
Jarvis, pull up Judy Hopps.
Oh, yeah.
I remember Judy Hops.
She's a cop.
You put him a bootlicker.
I feel like you'd kind of like that, though.
Nah.
Ew.
What?
I don't like it.
Austin, who would be your choice?
My choice?
Pull up Disney Twinks.
Iconic Disney Twings.
Hercules pre-BBL.
Images?
Go to images.
Disney characters did more for gay rights than canonically gay Disney.
Timone.
Timon is not a Twink.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Sorry, Timone.
Completely.
None of these are Twinks.
Well, they're just iconic gay.
Oh!
The dude from Milan, the general.
Oh, he's not a Twink.
Yeah, maybe the general from Milan.
The guy from Atlantis.
Milo.
Milo.
So not me.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, the princess from Atlantis is kind of.
Yeah, that's real.
That's the realest shit you ever saw.
Now, get into her.
Yeah.
Get in on the ground floor.
Anybody Gaston fans in here?
I mean, that's like the classic, right?
Gaston.
No one fans.
That's like Gaston.
As a classic Disney character, you bang.
No, I'm not a guest on sympathizer.
Wow.
Okay.
I'm just not.
I'm not my type.
No, I'm not doing muscly right now.
I like more fur.
Yeah, I like it.
I like a little bit more body hair.
I like maybe a snouse.
Yeah.
I like when we cuddle and their nose gets on me.
Just speaking of gay, because you famously don't like them.
No.
Same.
Let's go.
Hit it.
Okay, so your career was started from homosexuals.
Is that correct?
I would say that's true.
Okay.
How?
Tell us how.
I did my research.
Well, thank you.
And it seems no one else here did.
I appreciate you.
Okay, so the kombucha meme, when it happened, did not really do well on TikTok at first.
Like it was just kind of a video that, you know, it circled, but it kind of stayed within TikTok.
It took a brave gay man to download that video, upload it to gay Twitter with the caption, and I quote, me when I tasted cum for the first time.
Can we pull that up?
Yeah, can we go ahead and pull that up, Jarvis?
It works.
And it's the, well, and then it was me when I ate ass for the first time.
And then it was all these that was like, it just really did its numbers on gay Twitter.
And then it started, you know, breaking into other communities on Twitter specifically.
Then you see it leave the apps and go to Facebook and whatever.
So yeah, it really started there.
And then shortly after that is when I met Trixie Mattel.
And then, yeah, I owe it all to her, truly.
Yeah.
And so do you still have a, is your audience dominated by gays?
I would say it's, it's about 65% women, 35% gays.
So no straight men at all?
Absolutely none.
Really?
Yeah.
Are they allowed?
Wait, can I say something?
Actually, when I DM'd Hassan and I begged him to come on my show, I was like, he probably has no fucking clue who I am because straight men don't like they don't.
No.
And so I'm like, I don't know.
So I was gagged.
Right.
I knew I wasn't.
Yeah, you saw the when I tasted cum before.
Yeah, I was like, they're into this.
Yeah, that's me for real.
Like, that's what I was thinking.
That was a good one.
Yeah, I was kind of gagged because it's like, you know, they don't really interact with it at all.
But it was a good time.
Thanks for coming on.
I also, yeah, it was phenomenal.
I also owe my career to the gays as well.
Like, they were in the ground floor for sure.
Like, before I developed any female fan base, it was just gay men at the Young Turks.
And it's still, there is still a pretty queer dominant community.
Yeah, I'm waiting for the gays.
Yeah.
Where are my gays?
No, no, no.
Guys, I would like to be the next Chapel Roan, please.
Judy, I'm very talented.
Judy, you're a gay icon in training, I think.
I think you're gay.
What do I have to do?
The algorithm needs to find you.
No, I think the reason why you're like, you are a gay icon is because gays love a messy bitch and you are.
They do.
And you are a train rank.
We love a messy bitch.
By the way, I don't give off that energy.
So I'm confused.
Yeah, I think I, ever since Billie Eilish released Lunch, I think I'm gay.
I think that did it.
No one tell my old friend.
Expand on that.
Expand on that.
Oh, my God.
You have brought me to the bottom.
I know.
I just keep thinking about her.
She's a little young for me, though, but that's cool with the gays, right?
You pointed to Austin.
What?
You're in the middle of the war.
I mean, come on.
I'm like 30.
Wait, how old is she?
She's 23.
That's fine.
Not problematic.
Wait, is that problematic?
I think she's like 21.
Oh, she's 22.
Yeah, i'm 30.
Yeah, eight years.
She's a little young for me, but she helped me find myself.
So you're coming out, i'm coming out.
Don't tell my mother though, don't pride.
Yeah, happy pride.
Thank you, happy pride.
Thank you, Billy Eilish.
Would you like to?
Would anybody else like to come out?
Come out the.
What I don't know there hasn't did turn down a marriage proposal at Gay Disney.
We did march.
Can you pull that clip up?
Can you pull that clip up?
What are you talking about?
I so I I felt the magic of Gay Disney.
It's hard not to tried to propose to the City Square and it was really fucked up, Hasn't?
The first time, just ran away.
And the second time, he used an interesting technique to get me to stop talking.
He fucked my head.
I did do that, just grabbed my head and started humping.
So the first time, it's really hard to keep to set the, to set the scene, apparently.
I mean, you probably knew this already, but people propose to Disney all the time and it's a spectacle yeah and, and it was because someone literally proposed.
As a Disney fan, would you want to get proposed to it Disney.
You know what?
Can I say?
Something controversial yeah, oh my god sorry, I told the truth, that's good to know.
All right, let me get me getting dragged, so.
So here's the thing.
Here's the thing, before this started, someone did actually get proposed to.
Did everyone clap?
Yeah, they got me in.
So reality, it was in front of Pirates OF THE Caribbean yeah, so we ran in that direction to be like, are the gays getting married?
What's going on here?
You know, we got to put an end to this immediately.
We ran over there and then, and then, this man right here had the brilliant idea of recreating it.
Yeah, and I have, I don't.
I think this might be like.
I don't usually get like worried or so have social anxiety.
This might have been, unless people think he's gay.
No no, I well clearly, I don't have a problem with that either, as you'll see in a second, but next time i'm proposing we're gonna see what happens.
Hold on, I need you to set the scene a little bit.
Y'all bought these rings.
Is that what you proposed with?
Yeah okay, I had already given him the rings.
Yeah, he pre-fired.
He pre-fired because he's horny like that.
How did you create a scene how soon after the original proposal was this, literally moments later, like so you tried to steal that thunder they had left, they had dispersed.
Yeah, and and the?
You know they were doing all they're playing.
Abba yes, drag my ass I. He's so afraid of being perceived as gay.
If that's the case, then why would I his head in front of you?
I would like to see that video.
I don't know if I got it.
Yeah Cutie, actually literally looking at the castle and I panned down and he's grabbing, no no, no.
This is why he did it, you his head, because no gay man would do that.
That is straight behavior, On like teabag.
Everybody.
Every man, every straight man knows that in order to cancel out being perceived as gay, you have to do the gay.
Exactly.
Don't have a yes.
This is a gay bell curve.
Exactly.
If QD had done the same thing to me, you would have hung up.
No, the reaction, the first one, would have been identical.
It's more so about the fact that, like, this is supposed to be a special, beautiful thing.
Yeah.
And, like, it's sacred to you.
Is that right?
Like, yeah, gay marriage is sacred to me, even though they shouldn't do it and they're going to hell.
Okay.
But, like, in that moment, I felt like so much social anxiety that like people were going to get excited about this moment that they think that they're sharing with two dudes who are, you know, just fucking around.
And it, like, it weighed on me like an elephant.
It wouldn't, we wouldn't have had to just start.
You know what's funny?
Yes.
That night, I went home and I fell asleep and I had a dream that Marsh proposed to me and we were getting married and I was really stressed about planning our wedding.
Michael Jackson Ride Debate00:15:08
And Marsh, like, I couldn't tell.
You could be the worst couple.
I know.
He just wanted to like hang out and go party and have drugs.
And I wanted to plan the perfect wedding.
Drugs.
And I'm like, really stressed about planning our wedding.
I wake up next to Ludwig in bed and I go, Marsh proposed to me.
And Ludwig goes, I'm going to beat him up.
So sorry, Marsh.
But your proposal leaked into my brain.
And instead of marrying my boyfriend, I...
T-W-inspired.
Mary Marsh.
Yeah.
Do you do drugs, Brittany?
Not occasionally.
Wait, not occasionally.
I would argue, not ever actually.
Not occasionally.
Is it all the time?
I'm on drugs regularly.
Define drugs.
Weed.
You know what?
I do do Eddie's.
I touch down in Eddyville sometimes.
Touchdown in Eddyville.
What's your favorite activity to do whilst you?
Oh, okay.
Sometimes we do that.
I did not hear a word he said.
Oh, okay.
I don't travel food.
What do you do when you touch down in Eddieville?
You know what I like to do?
There's train videos on YouTube.
Oh, my God.
We're all into this.
Training.
We love trains.
This is crazy.
Darren Foamer?
There's no.
What?
I do train POV ASMR videos.
That's true.
I got some shit to show you, brother.
When Marsh gets back, we'll pull that out.
Wait, he is the train guy.
We showed up to Disney.
We walk in.
We get on the Disneylands.
It was closed.
It always is devastating.
Yeah, the Disneyland Railway.
Why do you got to bring up past trauma that we have to relive again?
Yeah.
Because have you done it before?
No, you've never been there.
Oh, my God.
It was our first time.
And he blew us off.
No, And guess what?
Let's not make it like that.
This just got a lot more heavy to me.
Thank you.
Now you're trying to understand this.
I saw where he was trying to steal gay thunder from somebody else.
Look at him.
Look at him.
I'm not going to involve myself.
That's why.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
This is such an ally.
We've been to Disney World separately when we were children.
And like, we are.
We weren't really excited.
I'll admit.
Like, we were not very excited.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
We need to recant why none of us were excited.
This is a weird phenomenon.
I need you to know they're haters.
No, we all went to Disney World when we were children.
And we all went on a ride that is now defunct.
And there were lawsuits over called The Alien Experience.
Have you ever heard of this?
No, I have not.
Okay, okay.
There is a ride where one of the administrators of Disney wanted to be cool to his teenage son.
So he made a ride based on Alien.
The movie.
The movie.
Yeah.
Where they strapped you in a roller coaster strap, but in an amphitheater.
And then there was this giant pod where an alien blasts through the glass and then like actors would come like touch you and they had like air cannons.
Oh, it's like a 4D ride.
It was extraterrestrial encounters.
Yes, but it was fucked up scary to the point where they were traumatizing kids a lot.
Holy shit.
And we might have been those kids.
So I was going back and I was like, I went to Disney World when I was a kid.
I can't remember why I didn't like it.
And then someone was like, well, did you go on this ride?
And I was like, I did go on that ride.
And it was horrifying.
Then I told him and he went, I went on that ride.
It was horrifying.
And then we told her and she said, I went on that ride.
It was horrifying.
We were all traumatized.
Well, I'm better at dissociating, so I fell back in love.
Yeah, I never went on that ride.
I've never heard of it.
It goes pitch black.
Yes.
And they say, oh no, the aliens escaped.
And then you hear someone scream and there's a crunching noise and then you get splashed with water.
Oh my God.
And they tell you that it's blood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got freaked out by Honey.
I shrunk the audience.
That was what scared me as a child.
I got freaked out by Captain E3 Michael Jackson show.
Oh, yeah.
Holy shit.
I remember that.
What the fuck?
That's a throwback.
Wait, pull that up.
So that was, that was, I think I'm saying E3.
I think it's E3, but he was Michael Jackson.
Like, I believe the director reached out to him and they made their own musical just for Disneyland.
It was like 3D.
Kenny Ortega.
Yeah, I think it was.
Captain E. Ortega was in it.
Was it Captain Eo?
Yeah, Captain Eo.
Who, Jenna Ortega?
Kenny Ortega.
He directed High School.
His musical famously.
This freaked you out.
Oh my God.
This was like a show you could see.
Oh, this is nightmarish.
Why is this?
It's in 3D, too.
This looks like a tool music thing.
What is happening?
Kind of goes crazy, though.
It was like Wizard of Oz-esque.
But Michael Jackson.
Okay, so far, so good.
I feel comfortable that, you know, Michael Jackson is going to defeat this boss.
With the power of dance.
With the power of art.
Yeah.
Wait, they added a web sound effect to his kick.
You guys aren't imagining this in 3D, though.
Oh, yeah, it's true.
Hits.
Oh, God, Michael.
Yo, look at whatever that is.
Is that from Star Wars?
Something about it.
I know.
Did you go through a?
I went through a phase where I was doing the Michael Jackson leg kick.
Did you go through that?
I had a Michael Jackson phase as well.
Did you really?
Okay, this is what's freaky.
I went through a Michael Jackson phase and then he died right after that.
That's pretty funny.
You want to see it?
27.
No, no, this has happened several times where I've gone through a phase.
Michael Jackson was my ringtone and then he died.
Please don't get into chapter 10.
No, no, no.
I also was into Prince and then he died.
You were the, you know what's crazy?
You're the only person into those two artists.
This is true.
They're a little small audience.
No, no, no, no.
But he's niche.
I had him as my ringtone.
Niche alternative independent artists, Michael Jackson and Prince.
They were about to make it big and then you started laughing at them.
You killed them.
I don't know.
I just thought it was a little bit of a weird coincidence that I had him as my ringtone.
You know, it was that it was the win.
Okay, saying I'm gonna prove I can sing.
It was like this.
I've never seen him.
I've never seen Austin.
So good.
He's so excited that Brittany's here because then gay people are going to watch the thing.
He's going to find the love of his life.
I will never.
Listen, I already found the love of my life.
Speaking of gay icons, I do have a topic.
I do have a topic.
The second season of MILF Manor.
I'm not ready to move on from Disney yet.
Hold on.
I'm still intrigued with y'all.
Did a second round of the proposal.
Yes.
And were people clapping?
Did they think it was real?
No, this time it was in front of the castle.
It was gone.
Right.
His impulse to hump my head was so fast that I didn't even have time to get into the proposal.
So you didn't hug and like.
No, he got on one knee and immediately I grabbed his.
Okay.
There's children at your feet, by the way.
No, it was nighttime.
There's no gay children at Pride Night.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah.
So it was kind of, it was nice, but it didn't work out between the two of them.
You know, it's a great bit.
Like the perfect proposal, it's a great bit.
It is a good bit.
So you could redo it.
You would not be like, like, worried that, you know, like it wouldn't.
If it was like a fake one, if you just commit, I would have gone for it.
If it was a fake one, you would do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whoa, that's crazy too.
For me, I'm like, we have to.
We didn't get to try Great Adventure.
You want to come with us to Great Adventure?
What's Great Adventure?
He's going to propose to you.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
He said California Adventure.
Go.
Idiot.
You said Great Adventure.
I thought there was like a new Disney park.
I got excited.
California Adventure.
But he also, he was so excited to go to Star Wars land.
Star Wars adult?
It was closed at seven.
What the?
Why?
Because they didn't want to, because that stupid Rise of Resistance ride, they can't always shuts down.
I know.
They closed it because it's only 20% capacity for Pride Night.
And yeah, they closed it.
You need a Jedi robe.
You need a lot of capacity.
Why are we 20% capacity for Pride Night?
That's what they do.
That's the point.
Oh, I think it's a little bit like it's a money-making operation.
So like, it's like a much smaller version of Disney.
Disney like for profit.
So many of the stores were closed.
Yeah.
So many of the stores were closed.
We walked.
They actually close it early, as a matter of fact.
So we go to Star Wars World and literally every shop is closing right in front of our eyes.
And like Will and I.
So the reason why I said this originally, like Will and I were not really excited at first.
But then we were very mean to me.
But then Star Wars World became a possibility and we got really invested.
We're, you know, we're millennials.
We're boomers.
We like Star Wars.
So we got really hyped.
We're like, oh my God, we're going to get Jedi robes.
Yeah, let's take the train there.
Yeah.
No train.
Let's get some Jedi robes and some lightsabers.
None of that was open.
They were closing it.
They were closing it in front of our eyes.
So Cutie fucked up big time as well.
I'm just saying.
Not my fault.
Not your fault at all.
Well, it was the thing I didn't like mention to them is I was late getting here per usual.
And so we were late driving.
If I would have showed up on time, we would have made it before they closed.
Feels like not the right time to say that.
I thought about as we were standing there and he was like, ooh, the doors just closed.
I was like, I'm like, oh no, we have to go back.
She's never been on time.
It did lead to us discovering a new character that is integral to our lore now.
What?
Sex pest Yoda.
Oh, yes, that's true.
People love sex pests.
I love sex pest yoda.
Everyone loves it.
Cutie loves sex pest yoda.
I'm not into him.
So he bought one of those.
I wasn't there.
He bought one of those backpacks that they sell, like little chewbacas and the yodas.
But he took the Yoda.
This is like it, because it stays open till 1 a.m. for Pride Night.
He bought it.
Sex Pest Yoda.
And he keeps just like touching mostly me with Yoda.
And it wasn't.
It was awesome.
It was sex fest Yoda?
Sex pest.
Like he's like a creeper.
Yeah.
Got it.
It works so well because of his eyes.
Is that a name that they used to call like creepy people that were problematic?
It was like, oh, just a sex pest.
Speaking of which, speaking of which, I do have a topic that we have so much you can do with that.
But people loved at one point, Sex Pest Yoda opened an automatic door.
Oh, my God.
Because Will stops the people walking behind us and he goes, wait, wait, wait.
And then it opens and the guy goes.
They all want.
And as soon as they walk out of earshot, Sex Pest Yoda turns to Kitty Cinderella and is like, oh, you like that sugar tits?
The Force.
It's not ideal.
He's not on my list.
Sex Pex Yoda.
Sex Pest Yoda is, he's pretty good.
Okay.
He's pretty funny.
What's your favorite ride at Disney?
Oh, I.
Oh, this was for Brittany.
You also know, go ahead.
Sorry, the girls are talking for a second.
Welcome back to you.
He got excited to give you a friend of Jupiter like Disney.
Okay, well, thank you for asking.
I'm not used to it.
Men ain't shit, okay?
Is the men ain't shit episode?
My favorite ride in all of it is the Tower of Terror and Disney World.
I actually have a fucking tattoo for it.
It's a changing my life.
I have a tattoo for Disney.
I was sad when they switched to Gargano.
I was pissed off, but it's the same ride.
So that's really what matters to its core.
That's the one that you just got.
Yeah, you didn't go on that one.
Sorry, guys.
Yeah, it's a great, it's a great ride.
Would y'all like thrill rides?
Yeah, Brittany, do you like coaster coasters?
I love coasters.
Like, kill myself coasters.
Oh, my God.
Okay, you're the only one in this room.
Have you been to the Five Flags kid?
Six flags?
The sixth one was a Confederate flag.
We did it.
We got rid of it.
We got rid of it.
Got it.
We're making the change.
So I loved like Medusa, Talon, X2, King to Ka.
Yeah.
All the heavy shit.
You ever been to Bush Gardens?
Yeah.
The Griffin?
Yeah.
That's the one that drops 90 degrees, hangs you right there.
And it's a different time every night.
My roommate in boarding school was part of the original Ace.
Not asexuals, American Coaster.
That's so stupid as man.
Bro, that's got to be like a Venn diagram.
Yeah.
Actually, the number of asexual people in Ace is huge.
No, but we would go to the parks before they open for special American coaster enthusiast members, and we would just ride like crazy.
Yeah.
But they don't like ride rides.
No, I said I would do it.
I love ride rides.
I'm an adult now.
You'll go on X2 with me.
Where is he?
And that's blowing your brains out.
Well, hold on.
Now the blow.
I just want to be invited.
That's Five Flags California.
Are you kidding me?
I've been to Six Flags.
Bro, he wants to be invited so he doesn't show up.
So we need to say no, no.
I wish.
We should get another rim job.
No, okay.
First of all, I do the rimming.
I don't.
First of all, pride.
Yeah, thank you.
No, but regardless, I would totally go.
I would love to.
Show him X2.
I want you to take this is what you just signed up for.
No, I don't have been on.
I do.
Like, you just.
This is the fuck off.
This is the most gnarly coaster in the world.
Okay.
Pound for pound dollar.
I think this is.
Oh, it starts first of all.
It starts backwards.
That's how you know it's back.
It starts.
Yo, Will, I've been on this.
You've been on this.
Do we get on ride-edge?
Yes, I've been on it.
Yes.
Okay.
When the coaster starts backwards, you know shit is going on.
This coaster, all of the cars actually rotate 360 on the track.
Will.
So every drop.
I passed out on this ride.
As you're going down, you'll rotate 360 during a break drop.
So you have no idea where you are.
And like sometimes you'll be falling up because you'll be upside down and then it'll invert you.
It's can you tell me?
You walk me through the sort of strap uh setup here is it like over and there's a lap thing.
Okay, I don't know.
There was a lot of rides I didn't feel safe on when I was it part of the.
Yeah, I think originally this was the chat part of this ride.
Oh, can we hear?
Can we hear it a little bit?
I just want to hear it.
I want to hear the blood triggering screams like a trip.
Hagrid Thrills and Strap Setup00:03:38
She's a foamer, so i'm into it.
It just does.
It's so comforting.
The look at this.
I mean this is what it's all about, baby.
Where, what city is this in?
This is the uh, the Six Flags California, I think.
Yeah, I think it's like an hour.
Yeah, it's away.
That was my deal to them.
If I go to Disney, they have to get six flags.
No, six flags.
Can we film it?
Watch this, watch this, watch.
This shit is inversion, facing down and then, as you go down, oh my god wait, you said you've been on it.
I've lied, i've never been on it.
I know i've never been on it.
I lie for attention all the time.
This is something that I do, dude.
Oh my god, this will, this is this will do.
Oh my god, I don't think i've done this before.
I've only been to six flags.
Now they're holding hands on this ride is like Analyz, you know if you've done it, they're holding hands because they're gonna die.
That's not like a beautiful moment, it's just their last moment.
Have you been to Universal Studios in Florida?
Yes, I have, I have when I was much younger.
There is a roller coaster called the Velocicoaster.
Yes, this is the.
I'm like roller coaster enthusiast.
This is the most insane.
Not ace, i'm not locked into ace the way that y'all are.
This is the most insane.
You know, like when a coaster will speed up yeah, it does it twice through it, like it.
You know it's the sort of initial blast off which is like yes, juice.
And then it re-thrills you halfway through.
It is the most intense coaster i've ever been on in my life.
Re-thrills because you know the initial and then you're like oh, i'm just gonna ride it.
It gets speed again.
And the Hagrid ride, you've been on that.
I haven't been on that.
I've watched the ride through.
Wait wait, I can't hold up wait.
Do you have to?
I can't watch Ride Hag.
I want to experience it in person.
Close your eyes, bitch.
Okay, he's lying again.
He's not gonna do any of these rides.
What are you talking about?
I will do all of these.
You know what?
Hold on, I will outride you.
No you, I will outride you.
Yes, I will, I will.
Yeah, I will outride you all.
Right, it's a off dude.
Yeah, it's pretty.
Come with us, I would love to do you.
Have someone out here.
Sure, we'll do a live stream and we'll get pitted.
Wait, let's go right now.
We'll finish the podcast in the car.
Oh, Hagrid is sending you on a ride.
This is you are on a.
Oh, we've done this.
We did this in Universal In in La.
They don't.
No, they don't have it in Lay.
That's it looks.
It looks very similar to the Universal Ride in La, though no, that's the flight of the hippogriff.
Is this, when you're on a, that's from you are?
Yeah, you're not.
This is in California.
No, this is god damn it.
This is Florida.
Okay, so this one, you're on the.
Listen to that thing, listen to this.
This is just on you.
He just farted.
It's one of those spew thingies.
All right, it's in the book okay, he just farted on.
So this one, you can't even see it because it's a pov.
You are on a motorbike backless?
No, there's no.
Back to it.
Wait, are you holding it?
No, you're not holding on.
They strap you're.
They strap you into a lap thing, but there's nothing over your shoulders.
And you know why are you insane?
You hold on to the thing.
They're like, lean forward, bitch.
There's nothing.
Lean forward.
Okay, that seems genuine.
That's what makes it thrilling.
Oh my god, that sounds awesome.
It's also.
It's one of a kind, and so it breaks down all the time, because it has this part that you go i've.
I've wrote it via youtube so hundred times But it goes into this little room and you're sitting there on the tracks and then the tracks fall.
Yes.
So it also has like an element of drop in it and then it goes on tracks again.
Backless Motorbike Experience00:12:33
Wait.
So it breaks down all the time because it'll just misalign like by a micro or whatever.
What do you mean it misaligns?
It just drops people.
Well, no, like they can't like run it.
They play roller coaster, tycoon.
Oh, yeah.
Rollercoasters.
I used that dad tracks that went nowhere and just launched your fans in.
Wait, I used to.
I used to launch them into like just a pool of water.
Yeah.
With no escape.
I had to drown your Sims.
I did.
Wait, did you...
I don't know what it is about like, we were just like innocent children drowning.
And the moment you get a hold of like a game, you just want to murder.
I have to kill.
First of all, there's nothing.
Yeah, children are demons.
Okay.
We were all every child.
Well, I told him about GTA.
Like, the first thing anybody does in GCA is just get on a top of a parking garage and just lay out the entire situation.
That's not really.
We're tight on time.
I need to get into these topics.
They're very important.
Oh, shit.
Speaking of rethrilling, have you guys heard about the second season of MILF Manor?
I have to get into this.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot what you're talking about.
Have you heard anything?
I know a little bit.
All right, pull up the trailer I sent you.
Now, obviously, there was nowhere to go from the first season of MILF Manor, right?
Nowhere to go.
How do you top that?
I don't really remember what happened.
I don't think I've been talking about it.
Have you seen MILF Manor Patriots?
Okay, MILF Manor is a show in which MILFs date younger men.
The trick is, is that all the younger men, their moms are all talking about it.
Yes.
Now you're locked in.
The show is basically the most like edible show I've ever.
So these young men, like 21, 22 years old, would watch their mothers fucking the other guys in the MILF manor.
What are we doing?
And they're in the same room.
So how do you go up from there?
How do you go up from there?
This season, they've brought their dads.
So now this season in MILF Manor, the moms brought their sons and then their estranged husbands also showed up and everyone in the world.
Go back.
Wait, what?
I know that guy.
Go back.
Girl.
What?
No, no, no.
The one of the crutches?
No, He was in a frame.
Yeah.
Stop right there.
Boom.
Who is that?
Go back.
That guy right there with the smile.
What Instagay is that, girl?
That's what I'm saying.
What is he doing there?
That's what I'm saying.
Even the one on the crutch.
Even the one on the crutch.
She said.
The sons and their fathers?
Yes.
This could be awkward.
He's my dad, Anthony.
He showed up on crutches.
Yo, you got to be horny, horny to do that.
That's like, that's commitment, dog.
He was like, I got to be there.
Coochie tingle.
This guy, this guy right here.
I mean, I'm a devious, mischievous woman by nature, so I'm having fun.
These are gorgeous women.
Jacob, clearly, Jacob.
Who the fuck is Jacob's dad here?
I don't know.
He's on gay Twitter.
That's why I'm curious.
What the fuck is going on?
That's a handsome older man.
What the hell's going on?
British.
Surreal.
I'm Lynette.
I am Darren.
Darren likes to be a little bit more.
Wait, pause.
What is he doing on that?
He's going to fuck a MILF.
Austin has done some investigation.
Okay, this is him.
Click on message.
Let me just see.
No, I've never DM'd him.
Oh, he didn't.
No, no, I'm never.
No, but Claire.
Wait, wait, wait.
He was on.
Wait, here he is right here.
This is clearly he's living life as a gay man.
Why is he on this show?
That's what I'm wondering.
Maybe he's there to fuck the dad.
I don't know.
I don't know if he's.
I don't know if he's gay or not, but I think it would be a huge twist if he was there to fuck the dads.
He's there to maybe he's bisexual.
Yeah, sure, girl.
Uh-huh.
He's there to fuck the dads.
So, what do we think about Milf Manor season two, mom and woman?
I'm in it.
Do you like watching trashy television?
You know, I'm getting into it.
I'm getting into it a little bit.
I'm not a Bravo girl, but I do watch Below Deck.
That's the only one that I watch on there.
Below Dick, what the fuck is that?
Let me go ahead and show you Below Deck.
He was on Below Deck.
That guy was on Below Deck.
There's no fucking show.
Yes, he was.
He's gay.
Is that a gay show?
It's not a gay show.
Basically, Below Deck is luxury yachts.
The crews that work on these, they all like fight and fuck each other.
Oh.
Meanwhile, it's like really rich patrons that rent these yachts.
Oh, my God.
And so they're like, you know, we want the hot tub ready.
We want four king beds.
We want this type of dinner.
And then it's all these crew members who are like horny 20-something year olds and they all try to fuck each other.
It's tea.
Oh my gosh.
Because they're from all over the world.
I thought it was the one where they catch crabs.
I did not.
No, that's Alaska.
Most dangerous tanks.
That's deadliest catch.
Oh.
Deadliest dead.
I guess these people are probably catching different crabs.
Yes.
100%.
Yes.
No, absolutely.
I've always been there.
She's bringing her fucking eight.
They're both bringing their airbrakes because they're easier.
You lock it up.
I've always been this way.
You're dialing it up because it's a woman and you're dialing it up because you're gay.
It's true.
Yeah.
I've never seen Austin this gay on an episode.
She wore a fishnet shirt.
Yeah.
No, this is like when Tana Mongeau was on, you weren't this gay.
So, I mean, the thing is, is that they are never, they, they, when I'm we're never gay?
No, when I'm sorry.
I have a proposal for you.
When I'm living my life, when I'm listening to lunch, when I'm living my truth, they think it's too much.
Well, but when I'm not living enough of it, it's not enough.
I'm never, I'm, I'm, I can never please them.
Now, how do y'all feel about that statement?
We just want you to stop being messy, be less of a diva and more gay, as gay as you want to be.
I support you.
Can't have both baby.
You can't have both.
Can't have both.
I support you at your most gay.
And you know this.
Thank you.
I just wish you would embrace it.
He's embracing.
Babe, his nipples are chafing in this mesh top.
What else do you want from him?
I tried getting him to take it off and tan with us earlier, and he refused.
No, I'm done.
I'm done with tanning.
It's all about the spray tan now.
Yeah, it's all about the spray tan.
I cannot do the real tan anymore.
I can't even.
I'm cheap.
Oh, you've never tanned in your life.
He can't be doing anything organ.
What am I supposed to do?
There's no sun.
I was like, bro, look at him.
We got a bunch of the boys together.
We're in the pool.
I put Kai in the pool.
We can show that TikTok in a second and experience her first joyous moment in a moment.
And Austin is just sitting there in his mesh tank or his mesh t-shirt.
I had to change, by the way.
I couldn't wear this here.
He can't wear this out in public unless you're gay.
We're in.
Yeah, but I had to come from the airport.
So I had to change.
So I had to wear a black non-mesh top here, and then I changed into gay.
Regardless, I was like, bro, take it off and, you know, come get a little bit of sun.
I've been trying to get you to tan for the longest time.
And he said, I'm just going to go back to Oregon, which is like, so it's not worth it.
I was like, it's just the sun, man.
It's not worth it.
Why would I sit out in the sun when I am just going to go back and just be white?
It doesn't make any sense.
That's not how that works.
No, no, bail him out.
Bail him out.
You've been bailing him out all the time.
Hold on.
I was going to say.
That's not how it works.
There is a sort of gradient of darkness to sort of lightness here.
And I'm counting the freckles as a sort of darkness on this side.
We're looking at running up a dermatologist bill on this table from laying in the sun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're looking at Derb's wet dream over here.
Look at us.
We're looking at mold.
We would be the face of skin cancer if we did, if we sat out in the sun.
Exactly.
We don't want that.
And Cutie and I are hypochondriacs.
100%?
We probably already have it.
We go through every disease.
Yeah, exactly.
Give us a week to do some research and then we'll develop the symptoms.
Can we show Kai?
Itchy already has a school dip.
This son of a bitch.
I'm going to call him out and do it.
He puts together this TikTok, right?
He opens up the TikTok.
Fucking gray chest hair, big titties.
Get your fucking shit.
Yo, yo, is this good?
I'm like, yeah, it's good.
You're half naked, you slut.
Put some fucking clothes.
Look at him.
He knows what he's doing.
I don't.
I was.
Oh, shit.
This is my Charleston debut.
Bro, you're starting to look like Clark Kent.
I know.
No, we don't like it at all.
You need to get uglier.
You do need to get uglier.
This is bullshit.
Oh, yeah, is it?
Yeah.
Let's see how it goes.
Call and response.
Look at his.
Come on.
Such a slut.
Nobody's watching.
She's loving it.
No, she did not like it that much.
She's literally clawing this.
Yeah.
That was very funny.
It's cute, though.
She gets into it a little bit later.
How do you bathe her?
Very cool.
You hose her off out back?
No.
I get it, Grub.
I have to.
She's too big.
She don't like it.
Yeah, she didn't like it.
There we go.
How old are you?
There we go.
Oh, Gaia.
Get her out of there.
She's a period girly.
You know, Hassan, I can't swim.
She was.
Oh, yeah.
It's true.
It's true.
See, I love you.
You're doing the same thing.
I love it.
You guys recreated that with you?
Wait, would you do that with me on a TikTok?
No.
Wow.
He's so afraid to be perceived as it's literally Pride Month.
You're not going to help your gay friend out here.
You're going to help me swim.
Oh, I'm drowning.
That's her first time in school.
Oh, yeah.
Nobody's going to love this video.
I told him, I was like, nobody's going to eat it up because they're going to be skipping around to moments where they can see you full frontal shot.
People are going to beat off to your dog's first time swimming.
Yeah.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
Yes.
Do you ever get this is directed to Mr. Parker?
Are you ever turned off or put off by the amount of like sexualized DMs you get?
Or do you play into it?
No, I grew up.
I grew up very fat and I always wanted to.
You welcome it now.
Yeah, I welcome it.
I always heard it, hornies.
Whenever people run up those.
One of the most common criticisms I get and shouts out the misogyny and shouts out the patriarchy, I guess.
But one of the most common criticisms I get from my haters is always like, no one would listen to you.
They only listen to you because you're hot.
And I'm like, thank you.
That's so awesome.
And I, yeah, I love that they try to objectify me.
Obviously, it doesn't work in the same direction as it does for women, unfortunately.
But whenever they say that, I welcome it.
I'm like, thank you.
Okay.
Great.
I think, yeah, I love to be objectified.
Yeah, I guess you don't get that as women.
You're only funny because you're fucking ugly.
Yeah, it's the opposite.
Shit.
It's the opposite.
Yeah.
No, obviously, it only goes in one direction.
That's the reason why.
When I did, I did stand-up, one of like veteran stand-up guy was talking to me, and he was like, do not wear makeup.
Do not look nice.
It's a crazy thing.
It's a truth.
He was like, they won't laugh.
I said, okay.
I've told you this.
One of my favorite teachers at Groundlings, Allison Dunbar, literally said this to someone.
She was like, you're on stage.
Like, you gotta strap it down because sometimes you won't.
Talking about titties?
Well, that's why I was really stressed before Streamer Awards because I had my whole monologue and I didn't, I wanted to not wear a dress.
I was like, I wanted to wear just a blazer and do my hair in a bun and then I didn't have time to find one, but I was so mad because I was so sorry.
I just know I'd be funnier if I was in a fucking t-shirt.
You even have to think about it.
I know, it's so fucking weird.
That is so fucking awful.
Yeah.
Thank you all.
I'm glad you can show your gray titties.
Yeah, that must be nice.
Imagine if I showed my titties.
Yeah, imagine what it's like.
Yeah, if I show my gray chest hair, I get banned.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Whatever, dude.
One more thing I wanted to cover before we get out of here.
Oh, you know, listen.
Before we get behind the paywall, we get all the tough stuff going on.
We're going to be listening.
But I want to read SMR train stuff.
Fucking God.
Behind the paywall.
Is it sexual?
No.
ASMR to train stuff.
Mark Hunt Cloning Alternative00:07:55
Hold on.
Hey, Rule 34.
That was cruel.
That's not.
You want to fuck Thomas the Pank Asian?
Like, what do you mean?
I want to fuck Percy.
The green one.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to do an America me up.
Yay.
So Eagle Screamed.
There we go.
Basically, this is where I share moments in American history that make me proud to be American.
Okay.
And we're going into an election, are we not?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah.
And one of the politicians is kind of what you would define as a criminal at this point.
Somewhat.
Well, I'm here to show you that that is not important as long as they have good moral values.
Please bring up my buddy here, Mike Hunt.
Or sorry, Mark Hunt.
Sorry.
This is Mark Hunt.
Mike Hunt's my drag queen.
This is Mark Hunt.
And as you'll see, he is a Virginian senator.
Everything is completely normal about him.
Start scrolling through his page.
Is he wearing a hairpiece?
No, that's just, that's just a good old comb over there.
Oh, God.
You know, look, there's his education, his elections.
Keep scrolling down.
Everything is above bar here.
Everything's totally, whoa, what's that?
Clone aid.
What?
Now, what is hold on?
What?
No.
Have you guys ever heard of clone aid?
No.
It sounds like the fuck.
It's like a Gatorade.
So let's, let's.
Well, the first word of that is sus immediately.
Yeah.
So unfortunately, Mark lost his child when it was very young at a year old due to open heart surgery.
And he won a malpractice suit for the better part of $300,000.
He was so bereaved by his loss that he searched the heavens and earth for a way to clone his baby.
In 1997, Bill Clinton, very openly and famously, responded to the cloning of Dolly the Sheep.
Oh, I thought he were going to say very openly and famously got a blowjob.
He did that as well.
He's famous for many things.
But he, he, the nation made cloning or cloning studies of human beings illegal.
And it was, there was no more.
Boom, bring it back.
So Mark had to find a cloning alternative that was a little bit more unusual.
Go ahead and click in to the Rhinelians here.
Renalian religion.
So Rhinelians.
Realism.
Realism, right?
They were a some people would call it.
But you're such a big fan of Valgaray.
Yeah.
Some people would call it a cult.
Okay.
They were a religion that believed that aliens came down to earth and Jesus was one of the first men and he was a clone of aliens.
Oh, so they're Mormons.
Kind of.
But in the year 1997, they gave all these truths to their leader.
Go back to the Discord.
Can we just, for one moment, can we just pause here?
The symbols are.
What is that symbol?
We have to address that.
It's a star of David with a swastika.
That's it.
That's a Tibetan piece.
Go ahead, pull that.
Well, that's a Tibetan piece I call it.
And that's what I thought at first as well.
It's clearly an insane.
That is an insane logo.
Like, I truly go crazy over here, like, sitting like, we're not going to address that.
Oh, my God.
Don't pull that up yet.
I wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't look good.
So the reason this happens is because the founders of the Renalian movement found a translation in the Torah that they thought meant men from space, but unfortunately, it's a mistranslation.
But they co-opted a lot of the imagery from Judaism and they just threw a swastika in there.
This is a Rick and Morty episode.
Yeah, we go.
Now, so they the aliens come down.
This is the final position on having both sides.
Both sides were doing stuff during World War II.
They decide to give their divine truths to one man, the leader of the Renalian church, who changes his name to Rinal.
Renelle.
Please pull him up.
You got to change your name.
You can see this man's artist.
Oh, and yes, that's it.
There he is.
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
Shout out to him.
What a balding.
Shout out to Moses parting his red seas.
What's happening with that hair right there?
God.
Absolute unit of a hairpiece.
That is crazy.
Because of their belief in cloning from aliens, the Renalians decide to put their money and effort into a company called Clone Aid.
Now, you can pull up Clone Aid's old website.
It is amazing.
And they decide that they are going to continue the cloning work.
Oh, that's awesome.
Show them.
Continue the cloning work of our alien ancestors here on Earth.
Yes.
Here comes Mark Hunt with a fat settlement check.
He then funds Clone Aid because they say for the low, low price of just $200,000, we can clone your child.
I'm obsessed with you reading this off like it's memorized.
Oh, yeah.
He's not going off a script right now.
It's like no, I'm off book.
No, the prepped monologue.
So they take that money and they rent the highest price lab that man has to offer.
Not in the U.S.
I thought it wasn't allowed to go.
I'm going to throw a flag on the plate.
I'm going to throw a flag on the plate.
I doubt it was the highest price lab on the planet.
It's in West Virginia.
It was a $300 defunct high school classroom above a Christian, um, Christian preschool.
Yes.
As soon as I saw that, as soon as I saw West Virginia, I was like, there's no fucking way that is the highest price lab.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they begin their cloning work in the defunct high school classroom above the Christian preschool.
And the Renalians decide that they've made so much of a striving progress that they're going to go to Washington and they're going to speak their case about how they're doing illegal cloning and how this should be allowed.
Who is volunteering to have their seed cloned other than bro?
It's just Mark Christian.
It's just bro.
Okay.
I have a revelation.
Okay.
Will is actually the clone.
That's right.
I'm the clone.
He is the Raelian.
He's 97.
He is.
Close enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little older.
He just aged a little bit faster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Renalian DNA.
The Renalian.
Growth hormones.
So they go to Washington and they plead their case.
And Washington is like, no, what the fuck are you talking about?
And in an investigator, in their claim to Washington, they say, listen, we have an active politician right now who lost their child and is going through this process right now.
Investigator tracks them down, finds the facility, and basically leaks the story to CNN.
Are you out of your mind?
At that point, the politician, Arcant, goes, I was never intending to clone my child.
I was just trying to preserve his cells in case this ever becomes legal.
He walks away from the Renalians, the Rhinelians and their cloning processor shot.
What a bummer.
He is also the biggest supporter.
He is elected to office again.
None of his opponents bring up this illegal cloning ever in his political career.
And the Renalians swear that in 2003, they cloned a human.
There's no evidence other than them saying that it happened.
I believe him.
And this is the story of Mark Hunt and the Renalians.
Wow.
Are there photos of the alleged clone?
I don't know that.
Okay.
That is.
Yeah, but are there photos of air, Brittany?
True?
You raise a great point.
I believe it.
So how do you guys feel about this?
I think we should clone.
Turkey Talk and Eagle Scream00:04:40
I have a way to dampen the mood.
Sure.
The American Me Up segments that we've been doing has actually been fraudulent.
March, I sent this to you ahead of time.
Oh, my God.
In secrecy.
Oh, my God.
Because I did not want you to know about this.
What is the iconic sound that plays right before the American meal?
Oh, my God.
I already knew.
I know the answer.
It's an eagle.
Stop spoiling it.
I already know.
I did my research.
I answered the question.
He answered it.
No, I just...
It's an eagle.
You don't have to answer the rest of this.
It's an eagle.
It's an eagle spoiler.
Just the bit.
The entire time.
Yeah, let the bit happen.
Marsh is having a very hard time going through his phone, finding this text message I sent him.
Okay.
He's planning his proposal to me, please.
I think I know what you're going to say.
I know what you're going to say, too.
I think I know what you're going to say.
I know what you're going to say.
So I just found out that bald eagles don't sound like...
Yep, nope.
That's actually the sound of a red-tailed hawk.
Yep.
Yep.
Now, the reason you guys hear what a real bald eagle sounds like in like the movies and whatnot is because they sound so weird.
Like this post on All About Birds says it pretty well.
Like for such a powerful bird, the bald eagle emits surprisingly weak sounding calls, usually a series of high-pitched whistling or piping notes.
America went all in on this bird and people feel that it needs to lie to the public to maintain its dignity.
I find it irritating how people use nature for like a family reasons and this is a great example.
And when it came to selecting the official bird for the United States of America, he wanted to be a fucking turkey.
Like one of the few dissenting voices against the bald eagle because they are the wait pause.
Pause.
Because that bitch ass wanted a turkey.
Turkeys are intimidating.
Turkeys are funny.
I like the sweet as hell.
No, turkey.
Look at that bird.
Turkeys are majestic.
No, it's crazy.
I vote turkeys.
It's crazy to name.
Wait, wait, pause it.
Mars, you just let him ride while we're talking.
Yeah, burn it up.
Turker, turkeys are only the way.
It is crazy to make turkey your fucking national animal.
Yeah.
That would have been a major L. World War II would have been lost.
No.
We would have propagandized that turkey.
He'd be strapped with an AR-15.
Right?
Imagine you.
Are you kidding me?
The only reason you think that that bald eagle is cool is because you have been using sick.
No, I know.
Yeah, that's because you have been indoctrinated to think you're sexy.
They're like the apex predator of the same thing.
There would have been a turkey on the symbol.
No.
Have you seen a turkey?
They have bull sex on their fucking face.
Yeah, that's awesome, Loki.
Yeah.
No.
That is awesome.
I want to hear the eagle scream then.
I don't know if I've ever heard a real eagle.
Dude, the bald eagle is a bird of bad moral character.
He does not get his living.
Honestly, he's too lazy to fish for himself.
He even joked that the turkey would be better.
Though a little vain, he is a bird of courage.
So yeah, this is what bald eagles sound like.
That's still so majestic.
Yeah, I heard a skinny single sound of bag of men.
It's a little more beautiful than I thought it would be.
Yeah.
I think it was just too effeminate.
It's zesty.
That's a zesty sound.
And we come from a patriarchal, misogynistic society.
Can't have a songbird as the nest.
No, we need a masculine.
There you go.
America Me Up is fraudulent technically.
You know what?
I just please put in a real eagle after that.
No, fuck that.
Do female eagles sound or do female hawks sound the same as male ones?
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm what?
Where are you going?
I sound the same as you.
Can you pull up what a turkey sounds like?
Yeah, that's pretty good, but I'd like to compare it.
I was on Turkey Talk.
Okay.
Like, as in Turkey Talk, I was on Turkey Talk.
Like, my people?
No, no, no.
That's Turk Talk.
Not that.
That's your Turkey Talk.
Yeah, okay.
I was on Turkey Talk.
Turkeys attack like cars.
That's what I'm saying.
Vicious.
They're meat.
They're vicious.
All right, let's look at this fucking sound.
The turkey.
I actually don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving.
I think the meat quality is not great.
That's insane.
Come on.
Dude, this one would be dude.
I mean, World War II, we would have taken an L, okay?
Or maybe.
Imagine if the USSR would have won the Cold War, which would have been a good idea.
Imagine a battlefield in World War II, the enemy surrounded in darkness and silence.
Shanghai Channel and Inappropriate Rides00:02:34
No, imagine this.
Imagine this.
Hunger games catching fire.
Okay.
The scene where the mocking Jays, they're doing it on the speaker and they're making turkey.
It's just four hours straight.
How confused, though, would the enemy be if you just sent a turkey into?
Like, what would they do?
We strap turkeys up with bombs.
Our greatest soldiers.
Didn't suicide bombing turkeys.
To disarm minds at one point.
Yes.
Yeah.
That is real.
Wait, this is.
Wait, this is cute.
Someone fucked this.
Someone fell in love with a dolphin during the day.
I'm going to go to the Patreon and talk about Kathy.
That's what he said.
But first, Brittany, you are such an awesome guy.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Brittany, what would you like to plug?
I would like to plug my podcast called The Brosky Report.
You can find it anywhere you find your podcast.
And we have a YouTube channel.
Go subscribe to it.
And I have a show called Royal Court, which Mr. Hashan has been on.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
Are we going to Six Flags?
Live stream.
We're going to do three days back-to-back Disney Six Flags Five Flags Universal.
I will commit to that.
I will too.
As long as we can just content farm it.
I will camera.
Oh, we'll farm it.
I'm a goddamn farmer.
And you know what?
I'm going to be there this time.
You will not invite me.
You weren't invited.
You were not invited.
It's awkward.
You kind of have a fiduciary responsibility to your gay people.
Not actually you, Maker Gray.
I don't know what fiduciary means.
I don't know.
It's sounded.
Sounded official.
It's a legal obligation to maximize shareholder value, but that has nothing to do with it.
I guess that works.
And my shareholders care about rim jobs.
So we all care about rim jobs as well.
Maximizing gay holder value.
We'll see you behind the paywall at patreon.com slash free animal.
Of course, thank you, Brittany.
Tokyo Disney was like the best Disney in Disney Sea, and I went and I was disappointed.
Is Disney Sea a water broke?
It's like a.
No, it's just like a free kind of walk about.
It's free, right?
No, it's not free.
It was cheap.
Yeah, it's the cheaper one, but it's more of like a walk-up.
Like, it's not as ride-heavy.
It's like downtown Disney?
Kind of, but there's some rides and some things, but not a ton.
Shanghai Disney is apparently the best one.
Yeah, it's cut that bar channel.
Just gotta show for hold.
We have to cut that very costly.
He said something really inappropriate.
I did not say anything or inappropriate this time.