Hasanabi and Fear& dissect streaming culture through Ludwig's 1,000 three-point challenge and Harrison Butker's controversial speech before diving into dark humor about serial killers and stolen Timothée Chalamet wax figures. They critique the movie Shallow Hal, analyze a single mother's baking crisis, and debate social media trends like "stitching." The conversation escalates to explicit discussions on masturbation involving inanimate objects, sex toys like the "Suck Master," and a "Pocket Pussy" incident at airport security, ultimately speculating on future "fuckbots" and their impact on human reproduction while ranking Patreon supporters. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Serial Killer or Streamer00:07:14
I could have been a serial killer.
And isn't it wonderful?
Oh my God.
They're not helping your case.
Instead of being a serial killer and enjoying like decapitating people and then keeping their severed heads in a refrigerator, I enjoy streaming instead.
Have you thought about this?
Will you got it?
You got it, baby.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear Am podcast where we are all collectively barely holding it together.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yo, speak for yourself, bro.
I'm fucking, I'm a beacon of resilience.
You were 30 minutes late for a podcast in your own house.
Yeah, that is true.
It's because in my defense, I was getting fucking doinks.
And also, I didn't think QD would make it.
Doing, you're playing a video game?
No, I was playing basketball with Nice Wig and Greek, which I invited you to, which you didn't show up to.
Can I invite you?
You're weird.
He was fucking weird.
He knocked on my door at 8.30 and said, hey, you want to go ball?
No.
Yeah, it's just you and like grandparents power walking.
That's not true.
We have a solid ass squad out there.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
There was a lot of buckets being thrown around.
I got owned, though.
Nice wig and Greek cooked me.
They're lethal shooters.
This is definitely not something in the realm of interest of the podcast.
However, one aspect of it is.
Ludwig.
Oh.
He did a 1,000-bucket challenge.
Yeah.
Took him like three days, didn't it?
No, it took him seven hours.
I do have to compliment him on this.
I didn't think that he'd be able to do it.
I didn't realize that you could even, like, I didn't realize he would be able to physically make 1,000 three-point shots in less than 12 hours.
And it took him only seven.
And I talked a lot of shit beforehand.
I talked a lot of shit afterhand.
And he challenged me.
Ooh.
So now I have to do it as well.
So like when I go out there, sometimes when I go out to the outdoor courts, I'll just like test it.
I'll be like, how many, how many minutes does it take for me to get to 10, 30?
If you have someone feeding you a ball, I'd say you're four hours and 30 minutes.
I think I could, yeah, I think I could do it in under four hours.
This is why he wants me to come.
He needs a ball feeder.
Exactly.
Well, no.
I didn't hear from him forever.
And he was like, yo, what's up, dude?
Did you want to like, well, maybe go and do like a challenge?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
It's not just for charity.
No, I already have a ball feeder.
It's not that.
Oh, I need someone.
No, are you paying me?
No, it's going to be Nice Wig.
I need someone to not just like throw the ball, but more importantly, just like keep people entertained.
That's it.
Like, just like someone who will fuck around, talk to the camera.
Will can't help himself now.
Will's like, oh, no, no, no.
It's like Batman and the bat signal.
That's why.
That's why I asked him.
Somebody be entertaining.
Because I know his ass is going to yap.
Plus, there's like going to be challenges.
Will, come on, let's yap together.
There's going to be challenges and stuff too involved.
Like when we get to like 50K, I'm going to have to shoot for 10 minutes with a blindfold on, like that sort of thing.
This is the thing.
You've thrown in so many different variables.
It's going to take you like seven days to get this challenge.
The whole point is that it will be difficult.
I might not even reach 1,000, but I'm doing it to raise money.
He's got like and at a certain point, I think we'll see.
I mean, we'll look through the challenges.
If you want, we can look through the challenges together even.
Maybe a good Patreon exercise.
Yeah.
Because there's like, there's like, because the challenges were made by Morgan.
You don't get an extended plug.
Wait, what?
No, I'm not trying to.
I wasn't trying to plug anything.
Is that why you brought us here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
To plug your events, please.
Yeah.
Can you guys please help my stream?
That's why I was here.
Yeah.
Doing the Fearan podcast.
But yeah, no, it's going to be.
I just needed people that would be good on camera and knows the stream, knows the nice.
So I thought you and Will would be perfect for it.
That's really nice of you.
How are you feeling?
She said she needed a bucket before we started.
By the way, I'm going to go on the record.
This poor bitch in the group thread was like, I'm dying.
I didn't sleep at all.
I think I'm going to throw up.
And I was like, cutie, take the day off.
Marsh was like, cutie, take the day off.
These two slave-driving mans were like, it's fine.
Show up, dude.
Austin called me.
You didn't say that exactly.
No, Austin called me.
I will defend Austin.
Austin called me.
He was like, oh, did you see what Cutie said in the group chat?
And I was like, I didn't see it.
I don't care.
Yeah, it was Hassan.
It wasn't blame me for it.
I was like, God, oh my God, this is such a cutie thing.
I started vomiting at about 2 a.m. and I didn't stop until about 5:30.
You didn't describe that part.
Yes, she did.
Oh, you did, I did.
She did.
Okay, I didn't see the text messages.
I did.
That's the first thing I said.
Hey, guys.
I only saw 4 a.m.
Hey, guys, warning you.
Been up all night vomiting.
And Hassan's response was, Hassan's response was, you better work, bitch.
He said, can I get you to show up at a basketball court and yap for me?
No, that's not why.
Ever since Harrison Butker dropped that speech, you've been acting different.
Yeah, I'm the anti-Harrison Butker.
You know, it's I want women to work.
You know, speaking of yapping, everybody is trying to affect Harrison Butker's stock, but it actually skyrockets.
I know it keeps going up.
He is the most, he is the highest-selling Chiefs jersey.
I know, if not the highest-selling jersey in the NFL, the best-selling punters jersey of all time.
And all he had to do was tell women, get the fuck back in the kitchen.
I know.
It's crazy.
There's nothing.
We talked about this last episode, but like, there's nothing that there's no better market than like right-wing guys with resentment.
Yes.
Like, it's the best.
Honestly.
Why do they want to be so terrible?
Why can't they just agree that it was kind of a fucked up thing to do at a graduation?
Especially when your mom.
You know that degree you paid for?
Bro, especially when his mom is an accomplished physicist.
Dude.
Like, he's coming from a fucking family of like badass women.
And he's just like, yeah, you know what?
My mom ain't shit.
Yeah, bro.
Yeah.
So, well, I got my Harrison Butker and my Ray Rice jersey and I'm ready to go, baby.
I bought one too.
Your eye code.
Ray Rice?
No, Butker.
I got a crop top.
Oh, you didn't get a Ray Rice?
No.
Oh, you know what?
Now that I'm on the Butker train, Ray Rice is next.
Why not?
Because, wait, didn't he do something to women?
Oh, my God.
Wait, was Ray Rice the elevator?
Oh, the elevator.
Oh, yeah.
In the words of Dave Chappelle, he just did football in the wrong place.
Yeah, he's just doing football.
Listen, I've been telling people for the longest time that the Chiefs fucking suck, not because of their winning record.
They're great at football, but they're just not that great at being human beings.
Butker Jersey and Ray Rice00:06:27
Nope.
It's out there now.
Now, if they had a role model on their team, like an Aaron Rodgers, everything would be Travis Kelsey.
He's vaccinated.
Okay, so fuck with that.
Okay, there is an update now.
He's cool.
He's cool.
There's an update.
He's America's boyfriend.
There's an update to this story.
You know, Travis Kelsey did respond to Harrison Butker by saying, he said.
Oh, he did.
He's so cool.
I know.
No, he responded by saying he doesn't support his views, but he loves him as a team.
He loves the way he kicks that football.
Bro, he's a kicker.
I don't even know why you have to ride him and kick it that hard.
Oh, man.
He can kick the shit out of that football.
Okay cutie, how do you feel about Harrison Booker?
Um I, you're a woman.
It made me question my business endeavors and i've considered uh, sending myself down that market as well.
Kicking footballs, no um, hating women yeah oh, you have the look of a woman who hates women.
Yeah, you could be.
So you're super profitable if you went like one shade blonder.
Yeah, screwed in some aftermarket titties I've thought about you could go on FOX NEWS and just be like I wish these yappy bitches would just shit.
New new branding opportunity.
It's called barefoot and pregnant.
Okay, so that's like your new thing where you don't even have to be pregnant.
Like obviously, you just just like fake it.
Like you're always, always pregnant okay, but the children that adopt never see the children never.
Right, I don't need to.
And you're always barefoot.
You're always in the kitchen and you're cooking and you're constantly talking about, like how women ain't yeah, and like girl i'm.
I'm not a feminist because I know I how to cook, like stuff, or i'm so feminist that we should all take advantage of our femininity and just admit that we belong at the home.
God dude, so many people would watch you.
You should turn butter too, if you were just giving such a based rant about how horrible women are and then started breastfeeding midstream.
Oh yeah, that too, you should do that.
Yeah, because it's allowed.
It's allowed on the platform.
Just like, get a.
They wouldn't be hating women or breastfeeding.
No, hating women and breastfeeding are both.
They come.
You know you, I don't think you can just get a random baby and have him suck on your boob.
Why not?
What if you dressed Ludwig like a baby?
Wait, what do you mean?
I thought it was like that's wait, maybe that's a new business opportunity.
Yeah okay, Ludwig sucking on her tit would be porn.
I think at that point, like it would be pornographic.
I mean, what if?
But what if he was getting fed?
What if it was done tastefully?
No, he's an adult, there's no way.
Then it's what if he was eating though?
What if there was?
What if she didn't Ludwig breastfeed till he was like 13?
I don't know, that's like wait, is that true?
Oh oh, i'm actually funny.
Rumor, start that rumor.
Slime definitely breastfed.
Well, into his teens.
You're still breastfeeding, aren't you?
I, I try yeah um, oh fuck.
There was another thing I wanted to talk about without uh, before we topic, before we got into the Harrison Bucker, but the breastfeeding thing is so captivating that it's just like it really is.
Well, no midwives, that's the thing like women will breastfeed other people.
Wet nurses or wet nurses oh, that's so.
You knew, you had that in the pocket and you hit.
I know well, I wet nurses, i'm not that.
That's crazy.
You have to lactate, daniel lactating, wet nurses, wet nurse wait, hold on, hold on.
So let me understand this.
A wet nurse is just somebody that's lactating.
Yeah, that just feeds the baby that they give birth to.
So you don't stop lactating if you're, if you use it, you don't.
If you're a wet nurse really yeah, that's crazy.
You can just keep that shit pumping.
So what?
Like damn, and it like, if you're a wet nurse like, and you hear a baby crying at, like Walmart, like your titties start leaking, right.
I don't think that's exactly how it works Sir, you're all cute.
Your titties ever leaked.
My titties don't leak because I've never been pregnant.
We got to get you knocked up.
Just for business.
I don't want to.
Can you do this for the podcast?
Barefoot and pregnant.
Barefoot and pregnant.
I don't want it.
I don't want it.
And sometimes people get pregnant and they can't lactate.
I'll go with you to all your homes.
And it's really painful and their boobs get really swollen, but the and their milk ducts can get like jammed.
Oh.
What do you do?
Do you just get in there?
You got to give it a hype.
Poke a little hole.
Did you know that when you give birth, you have to then give birth again to the placenta?
Oh, sometimes it's like a one-two punch.
Sometimes, if you're lucky.
And the placenta is like, it's slimy.
It's still ouchy, though.
Period.
The vagina just ripped.
We are so unimaginably unadvanced in comparison to like the average animal.
Like, can we just explain that?
No, I'm serious.
Like, bro, we have hospitals.
Bro, no, I mean, we had to do all of that.
No, I'm talking about the evolutionary perspective.
We have medicine that can make you not feel your legs.
The point I want to make is from the evolutionary perspective, animals, like most animals, well, it depends.
Animal to animal is different, but like a baby deer comes out and is like ready to fucking roll.
You know what I mean?
Half the animal kingdom fucking die when they reproduce.
Oh, Hassanja's saying that, like, no, evolutionary, from an evolutionary standpoint, human beings, babies are ready.
They're like adults when they're born.
Babies are like ready to fucking roll in many respects.
We got to take care of them for a while.
And has like a way faster period of like figuring shit out.
They die like 10 years in.
That's also true.
Whereas I'm saying human beings giving birth is like such a complicated process.
Where like back in the day, women just fucking straight died from blood loss.
I mean, most animals die.
People still die from pregnancy, like somewhat commonly.
Octopi die after they reproduce.
Yeah, some of them.
And like they're, they're, they reproduce in mass.
Like the idea of like nature's reproductive practice is like give birth to a hundred, two will make it.
Yeah.
I learned about this jellyfish from Maya.
That's tiny, tiny baby.
It's as big as like your thumbnail.
And if it gets stressed out and thinks it's going to die, it just splits its DNA and makes another one.
Medusa.
And then that can split its DNA and make another one.
They're immortal.
And yeah, and they go on forever.
And then they're in the emotion.
Yeah, they also have like a life cycle where like when they die, they go into like a respiratory state and can come back.
They're like an immortal animal.
Nature's Brutal Reproduction00:06:33
That's insane.
We need to daughters that aren't.
Did you ever see them in the Japanese aquarium?
I because I remember you talking about when we went to the Japanese worm.
We need to investigate what that is and we can put them in humans.
Yeah.
No, because then we would be like Naruto.
No, because the worst people would get it.
Yeah.
Which the worst people would come.
What do you mean, which people?
Like me?
Like Dick Cheney.
Yeah, I mean like, yeah, you would have like Dick Cheney as a baby.
You know what I mean?
Just doing horrible hate crimes as a baby.
Which that's very confusing to me.
Yeah, which I would be like.
It's like, you're a baby.
Do I kick you in the head?
Doing the crime?
Like, what the hell did that baby do?
Oh, that's dick.
Dick Cheney is like re-invading Iraq as a baby this time.
It's fucked up, but it could happen.
It's like baby Hitler.
Do you kill baby Hitler?
Yes.
Yes.
You fucking kill the fucking.
No, I would be a better mother.
Wow.
You would be a parent.
Remember that?
You can't even lactate.
What are you talking about?
I would raise him right.
But would you have named him Adolph?
I would.
No, I'd change his.
The name is what made him do that.
Yeah.
So I would just name him Bradley.
I mean, I do wonder if you're a bad movie.
He'd be a movie star.
His life would have gone a different path.
Yeah, it's just like the last name Hitler is so popular all of a sudden.
And best supporting actor goes to Bradley Hitler.
Wait, wait.
Whoa!
I can't believe this!
999!
I'm so happy!
That's what could have been if I was his mother.
Wow.
Who did that lady say that to?
Vladimir Putin.
Oh, she said it to me.
The lady that looks exactly like you that said, if I was barefoot and praying.
Look it up.
Look it up.
Vladimir Putin.
If I was your mother, because this is like when you, I didn't realize you knew that.
I thought you were just like instinctively saying no, no, no.
I was copying another one.
You're instinctively.
Somewhere inside you.
Yeah.
In your blocked nipple ducks.
I like the memes of us like making it your mother.
It kind of looks like that's the one.
Oh my God, cutie.
That's why I said it looks like you.
Yeah.
I've been told.
This is after Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine.
Dear President Vladimir Putin, I'm so sorry that I was not your mother.
Mita Hitler.
Yeah.
But honestly, like, she's kind of hot.
Yeah.
Like, wait.
And it looks like cutie.
Oh, Hashan thinks I'm hot.
That's where you go.
There you go.
That's what I'm saying.
Wait, we say you're hot all the time.
Hassan thinks cutie's hot.
In his defense, he does have almost full-blown face blindness.
Oh, that's true.
Is there a time in our life where he would go out in his defense?
Well, I just don't want to.
No, Hey, World, in his defense, he doesn't actually think.
No, no, he's right.
He's right.
I do have a very hard time figuring out faces.
So I would ask, Will was like, we were like Sniper Scout.
Will was my sniper scout.
He was like, hey, he was in the club and he would start vibing a girl and then he'd like lean over and be like, is this person attractive?
Oh my God.
Wait, really?
I can't see in the dark because I hate almost fully facebook.
I can't.
Wait, wait, would you fuck with him and just tell him, yeah?
And then sometimes they wouldn't.
No, he's, dude, you couldn't do that.
That's like leading a blind man into traffic.
Yeah.
Okay, so here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
To be fair, to me, that would have been awesome, though.
You shouldn't have done it.
Hate wearing glasses.
This is like a new phenomenon because I'm always on camera, so I have to wear my glasses.
It's kind of hot, though.
But I hate wearing glasses and I never wear glasses out.
So because I'm blind as hell and at night, I get even extra blind.
I have night blindness on top of that.
I would never be able to see anything inside of a nightclub.
So I had to use Will as my eyes.
You know what I re-watched recently?
That I knew it was offensive going into it, but it's so, it's like funny.
It's so offensive.
It's Shallow How.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Guys, it is bad.
Really?
It is bad.
I mean, she's morbidly obese, but the whole film is about seeing people's inner beauty.
I know, but it has her constantly breaking chairs.
Yeah, they're sitting at meals and she just falls.
You gotta laugh at something.
You know, it's like crazy.
That's a classic 90s ha-ha.
I dated, you know.
And a lot of that stuff happened to him in real life.
Wait, hold on.
I broke very few chairs.
He's broken chairs.
Very few of them.
There's this scene where they're in a boat.
Will you look it up, Marcia?
Why are you laughing at me?
You are so fat phobic.
I'm not fat phobic.
You're laughing at the moment.
I'm not fat phobic.
I'm just like, look at you now.
Yeah.
I feel like you, you know, look at you.
I've broken some chairs, but it's like only a couple.
It's not that big of a deal.
No, they're in a boat.
Scroll down a little bit.
That's crazy.
Wait, isn't Jack Black fat, though?
Yeah, but she isn't she supposed to be like 500 pounds.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But she's like, no.
And it's just like, it's crazy.
Yeah, she's Gwyneth fucking Paltrow.
Yeah.
Did they put her in a fat suit?
To be honest, I thought they had two actresses.
Oh, that's crazy.
She had a fat body double.
No, they put her in a fat suit also.
Oh, really?
Did they?
Yeah.
I thought they had two actors.
They had a fat body double.
That's crazy.
I'm sure they have a fat body double.
Imagine getting that casting call.
Wait, what do you mean?
People are.
They would probably love to play that role.
Lord, Gwyneth Paltrow.
Yeah, this is Peak Gwyneth.
So she finishes that whole milkshake by themselves.
They go on a boat rush.
Oh my God, she's not even fat.
He's bigger than she is.
No, you're not.
Oh, my God.
Wait, have you never seen that?
Yeah, that was Gwyneth Paltrow.
I'll be playing and then he'll get the thing because it shows.
Okay, so I've never seen that.
No, no, no.
We need to let this man understand the concept right now before I freak out.
Okay.
This movie is.
He'll figure it out.
He'll figure it out soon.
Cannonball.
Woohoo.
Okay, now she's going to do a cannonball.
Awesome.
Okay, I'm waiting.
Okay, fast forward.
Let's get to the cannonball.
No, just come, dude.
Just wait, man.
Look at Gwyneth.
Appreciate fine.
She's beautiful.
Oh, my.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, he can't see.
Oh, my God.
Cannonball and Cake Disasters00:06:25
I get it.
Okay, hold on.
Let me say.
Jack Black can't see how big she is.
Yes.
And he appreciates.
So the movie is about a guy who is like a pickup artist piece of shit.
Yeah.
Who is unlucky in love and he bumps into Tim Robbins, right?
The motivational speaker who like puts a trance on him that is basically like, you will only see people's inner beauty.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
So she is a wonderful human being.
That makes total sense.
So she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow.
Okay.
I see.
But it's really, it's a really hard thing.
It's literally like early.
It's just two hours of tattoo.
It's like, it's like, it's like hard.
It's like trudging though.
But it's got such a good message.
Is that right?
And the one guy has a tail.
That's great.
His little spinal tail.
Yeah, Jason Alexander.
Yeah.
Oh, Jason Alexander's in it.
Yeah, he's the friend who can't understand the change in Hal.
Yeah.
Because everybody else supports the change in Hal, except for Jason Alexander.
He's like, what are you doing?
He's like, you're dating ugly girl.
You're beat off and it's scotting and he's losing it.
All right, let's open it up.
Cutie, you're sick.
What do you want to talk about?
I wanted to talk to you guys about this lady who posted this video on TikTok of her making her own birthday cake.
Oh, and it was really a video you posted.
Oh, I know what this is.
This is exciting.
Why is it sad?
Oh, just the way it is not sad.
It gets good.
I got it.
It gets so good.
I don't know what to think.
There's a lady who is crying and making a birthday cake on TikTok.
I'm going to explain it while Cutie's pulling it up and sending it to March.
This beautiful blonde woman, she's in tears, and the caption reads something along the lines of them paraphrasing.
It's so hard being a single mother.
Right, cutie?
Is that the same issue that we're talking about?
So hard being a single mother.
Can I guess she doesn't have kids?
Oh, it's good.
No, she doesn't.
That's so me.
Could you imagine?
She doesn't.
Just talking about Swift.
If I didn't work on it, if like Twitch didn't work out for me, I decided to just bait people all the time.
Just crying because that is a skill set I have for my depression.
Just she has kids.
You also have another skill set.
She does have a child.
Did she adopt the child?
If Cutie doesn't find the TikTok, I'm just going to describe it.
So you're going to play the first one first.
All right.
So this is the OG TikTok.
Let's take a look.
It's beautiful.
It's keynote.
It's beautiful.
It's cinema.
Being a single mom, making your own birthday cake on your birthday so that your babies can feel happy when they're singing for you.
Oh my god, the music.
It's also she's using a box mix.
It's not that hard.
Right?
Pause.
Pause.
Cutie.
Are you fucking serious?
She also could have just bought one.
Yeah.
It's like, come on.
This woman is on her fucking final thread and you're trolling her for her box mix.
Yeah, no.
Cutie is fucking rude, and I love this.
She had to edit this video.
Yeah, that's my favorite type of TikTok.
Wait, pause it.
My favorite type of TikTok.
I mean, this is it anyway.
My favorite type of TikTok is when you're crying and you're like, let me set up the camera real quick and then cry to the camera.
I want to see how the cake turns out.
No, that's it.
She freaking just makes her cupcakes and cracks.
Yeah, no, it's just like.
Don't worry.
Here's your part two.
Okay.
So just let it.
Wait, wait, wait, before the stitch comes in.
I hate that fucking phrase.
Stitch incoming.
Makes me want to fucking paint the wall with my brain.
Okay.
I fucking hate that.
Jesus Christ.
Whoever invented that, if I find it.
I'm going to stand on this.
Wait, wait, hold on.
Hold on.
Why?
It's so lame.
But just...
My dad is 90 and he doesn't even sound that fucking folksy.
Stitch is coming.
That's a term for no, it's not.
No, it's done.
Let him have this.
Like, every social media platform.
Shut up.
I know videos.
I don't need your fucking explanation.
Okay, well, I was going to ask.
I was going to play a game, but we already fucked it up.
All right.
Stitch coming from XL's ex-husband.
So I've been sent this video a lot over the last few days.
People ask me my thoughts and my comments on it.
And before anyone says, oh, you don't know her situation or, you know, you don't know what she's going through.
Well, I do because I lived it.
I'm her ex-husband.
And right now, I have whole custody of our kids.
This is our parent agreement.
As you can see, I have all weekdays and weekends, time sharing with the kids, all at holiday academic drinks.
And for her to get any rights back to the kids, these are the things that she needs to do.
And yes, child support.
She owes that.
It's up to over $21,000.
So she's a mother and doesn't pay child support.
That's not the same chick.
It is.
She's done arrested for check fraud.
And during that hearing, it turned out that it was found that she stole almost a million dollars from another guy.
And also, she faked cancer in the past.
These are scans that she would send and post on the page before.
She hit the fucking, you know, this person for people that follow her or giving her praise and telling her how strong and how amazing she's doing.
Well, she's really not a full-time mom.
She holds her kids.
She goes out all the time.
And she doesn't even have a job even.
So she's really not someone that other single mom should really be looking towards as for inspiration or anything like that.
There are a lot of hardworking single moms out there and a lot of respect to them.
All I just want to say is I got to cover all my bases.
A lot of them.
So hopefully everyone can see this video and know who she really is.
I like that he's watching the NBA playoffs in the background.
He's like, listen, man.
Jesus.
He's like, listen, Kyrie is cooking in the background.
Yeah, that is, that is.
Thailand Trip and Hard Truths00:05:49
It's awesome.
That's a lot, bro.
I'm not going to lie.
Obviously, some mutual acquaintance sent that to him and it triggered him.
And he was like, I'm going to end this woman's entire box cake cooking career.
Yeah, I think it's really based.
Fraudulent.
Can we?
Okay.
You hate the word stitch.
I fucking hate when people say it's based.
I hate it so much.
Wait, Will says that all the time.
I know, I know.
And every time you say it, I'm like, oh, it's, I'm just, I, I have to come out with it.
I have to.
Okay, air it out.
Especially when, especially when people are like referring to like, I don't know, being like right wing or whatever.
And that's like the new colloquial application of it.
I hate that.
That's how I use it.
And I know, and you started doing it ironically.
And now you're just like, you're deploying it.
I think when Will says it, it's cool.
I think it's funny.
What do you hate, Austin?
What do I hate when people say?
Yeah.
Let me think about it.
You go next.
Oh, men.
You hate men collectively?
Generally.
Yeah.
We knew that.
Oh, God.
There was a lot of things that I grew up hearing that I hated.
The F-slur.
Nobody really called me that.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You were like kind of wished.
That's crazy that I got called the F-slur exponentially more than no, but no, no, no.
I would get called.
So this is the thing.
I would get called the F-slur, but not for being gay, but for not like wanting to steal alcohol from my parents.
When I was in a southern fraternity, I got called the F-slur a lot.
That was a, yeah, for what?
But how did you get called?
Because I was the gayest thing they had ever seen.
There were guys in the fraternity that ended up being gay that I presented.
Would they call you?
Would they call you the F-sler?
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
Well, they're the ones that call you the F-sler the most.
Yeah.
Because they're like, secretly, they're like, oh, you know, the things that you're so free with his box.
Yeah, the things that you wish you experienced.
I mean, I don't wish that I experienced that, but it would be nice to hear it if you wanted a little bit of like a homoerotic experience.
Oh, yeah.
Straight guys in college type shit.
Like in the, like they were in the, we were both in the closet.
Yeah.
And it felt so wrong.
Or just like a dude who's like curious.
You know what I mean?
Now you're just doing it.
Yeah.
I mean, I definitely missed out on some of those formidable experiences.
Yeah.
You were too busy at fucking Applebee.
Formidable.
He was huge.
Yeah.
I don't know, like us exploring each other at those ages, you know.
Ignoring you at the message.
But nobody, I never, I never really discovered my sexuality until later.
Yeah, that's true.
So are you going to tell us about EDC, Will?
Fuck no.
How was it?
Why?
Because it was good and I don't want you people near it.
Okay.
I didn't, yeah, we didn't want to bother you during that experience.
Good.
Do you think you would have had fun with us then?
No.
Could I have survived there?
I was on the phone with Caroline and Caroline was cutie.
I want you to come to EDC with us.
I was like, no, no, no, no.
And she's like, come on, we can get all of you to come.
And I just hear Will in the background, no.
Yeah.
No, Caroline, they cannot come.
Yeah, no.
That's like, no, not at all.
Not at all.
It's okay.
I don't want to go.
You would humiliate me.
Why?
What would you enjoy doing with all of us?
At EDC?
No, no, not EDC, just in general.
I mean, I've pitched so many things.
How close are you to get on a plane?
By the way, I don't know what's going on.
You haven't informed me on when we are going to Thailand together.
What's happening that you want to go by yourself?
He doesn't want to go with you.
But it's not allowed.
I just think it would be better.
I literally will not.
Like, if I find out he's going to Thailand, I will get a ticket.
Like, there's no, I'm not letting him go to Thailand by himself.
That sucks for you.
That's insane.
Well, the good thing is, even if you go to Thailand, you'll be streaming most of the time anyway.
So I'm just going to be able to do it.
Yeah, streaming the Mai Thai camp that we are going to, that we are going to be training at.
No, you want me to talk about EDC?
It was, it was great.
It was a, it was a spiritual experience.
It was wonderful.
I think sometimes I find answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.
And how much ketamine can you do without overdosing?
The answer might surprise you.
It's more than more than you think.
Yeah.
One horse amount.
Did you take, did you helicopter in this year?
No, no, no.
We took a, we took a shuttle.
How long was a shuttle?
Not bad.
We went early and left relatively early.
4 a.m. It's when we left.
Yeah, it was great.
And then Fred again played the set of my life.
So I don't know.
It was just a lot of fun.
I know it's not for you guys.
And the reason I don't want to talk about it is not because I don't love you.
I just know you'll yuck my yum.
No, we were happy.
Parents.
We just don't understand.
I just, no, we should do more stuff.
For me, I've done it all.
I've done it all.
Winter Music Conference, Ultra 2009 peak.
2009?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was so peak of house music.
That's like Swedish House Mafia, Dead Mouse.
Like these guys are Progressive House wasn't even old enough.
I will say that Priya Vigi.
I will say that it's its peak right now.
Electric Daisy Carnival is like such a feast for your senses.
It's every day I would go in, I would get a fresh shave at the festival.
Then I would get a massage.
I would get a tune up.
And then I would like.
That's awesome.
You're like a race car.
Yeah, I would start.
Get an IV.
I wanted to do that day too.
I was signed up, but I didn't do it.
And then I would like have some nosh, a drink, and then we'd start walking around the festival at like 9 p.m., 10 o'clock.
Peak House Music Feasts00:15:18
And then you go straight through till 4.
You know how to live luxury.
I do.
You know how to live luxury.
I do.
That's one thing I love about you.
Instantly, like when you tell me that story, I'm like, I haven't worked out.
I haven't streamed.
The festival is your workout.
You dance for six straight hours.
Well, that's the thing.
You just got to be zooted.
There's no way you can fucking white nuzzle through that.
You know what my dream is for you, Hassan?
Marsh laughed.
It's to go on a vacation without working.
I think I would kill myself.
You would kill yourself.
Probably.
Oh my God.
Why?
That sounds normal and fun.
I just...
Oh, I wish he was at the festival.
No, for me, it's like, I, I mean, I've talked about this so many times.
It's just, I love what I do and I, and I greatly enjoyed it.
Sometimes you need to take a break.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Even Jeffrey Dahmer took a day off.
But that's what I mean.
It's like, I could have been a serial killer.
And isn't it wonderful?
Oh my God.
You're not helping your case.
Instead of being a serial killer and enjoying like decapitating people and then keeping their severed heads in a refrigerator, I enjoy streaming instead.
Have you thought about this?
No, but I do like it.
Should I be afraid to sleep in your house?
I do.
No.
I do.
I mean, I'm fascinated by like serial killers who isn't.
It's fucking insane.
It's like a complete fucking breakdown of like, it's, it's a breakdown of like empathy.
CUNY and I do not watch serial killers because we're afraid that we're going to be their next victim.
Except for I did learn.
Do you know that Ted Bundy, a lot of the people he killed, it was like simply that their windows were unlocked and their doors were just unlocked.
Yeah.
And you'd just be like, Rip, oh.
Yeah, back then.
Lock your doors.
Back then it was pretty crazy.
Like you could just, if you were a white guy, they just kind of let you do it.
Yeah.
He literally escaped prison.
Didn't the judge in the last thing that he said to him was like, you would have been such a great, you're so disappointing.
Yeah.
He said you could have been a brilliant lawyer.
You could have been a brilliant lawyer.
And it's just like, but instead, you know?
Yeah.
Well, part of why he didn't get caught was because simply back then, the states didn't communicate.
And so it was like the meta was moving state to state because they just wouldn't pick up the phone.
There's another serial killer named Jack Unterweger who did the same thing basically internationally.
And Interpool had no like ability to communicate.
So he was just murdering his face off all over the EU and United States.
He's just crying.
Is that not Jack the Ripper?
That's somebody else?
No, it's Jack Untherweger.
Strangled people, but he used a very specific slipknot and he would tie it with people's underpants.
Can you imagine?
Okay, you're like a murderer.
You kill people with their own undies?
Yeah, it was a slipknot.
You couldn't.
And then, I mean, not that this was cool, but it's kind of cool.
When they finally caught him, he tied the same knot in his own underpants and killed himself with it.
As like a so he was never found guilty because part of the country of origin where he's from, part of their legal system is you're not guilty till you go through your appeals.
So before he went through his appeals, he hung himself with the same knot, kind of as like a, I did do this.
It's yeah, that's crazy.
I thought you were gonna say in that country, if you kill yourself with your panties, you just are automatically innocent.
It goes back to when they were in the fjord.
Yeah.
This is a very weird, very considerate Valhalla.
Imagine you're like a murderer and you're trying to make it like your calling card, whether it be your murder knot or whatever.
Yeah.
And you like have a really great idea.
You're like, oh, I'm going to carve puzzle pieces.
What's your calling card?
Come on.
You must have thought about this.
Takes a fat dookie.
Oh, I got one.
In their fridge.
I shit at the crime scene.
That's horrible.
Every time you can't murder your children's little name.
It's him.
I would take little airplane wings and stick it through their nose.
Wow.
That's so.
What?
I'm a serial killer.
I guess you have to bring a prop with you every time, though.
You can't.
Hold on.
Can I just tell you what the prompt that you came up with?
Is what would be your calling card?
I'm sorry.
Like me slipping through like a little airplane wings.
I mean, they definitely know I did it, though.
Oh, I would always give them a wedgie at the end.
Okay.
That's very innocent.
That's so weird.
You've murdered them.
Malicious.
Yeah.
You've murdered them.
What are you doing?
What would be like the wedgie murderer back at it again?
It's like saying, I would kill them and then I would take their finger and place it in their nose.
I got an idea.
That's not bad.
That's not bad.
Will, your calling card should be you positioning their bodies into like a self-sucking sort of thing.
So they all every time they found them and there becomes like this trend that people are dying of self-sucks.
What if there was a murderer that instead of like normal murder with like guns and stuff, they just like, Will, you walk up behind someone.
Imagine I'm walking.
You walk up behind me.
You throw a freaking perfectly sized bouncy ball in my mouth and then you cover my mouth and you shake, you shake me and scare me to the point that I swallow it and then I die.
And so, but really, I died by choking, but no one knows it was you.
The bouncy ball murder.
Wow.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I suppose.
No one's done that.
He gets you to choke.
Yeah.
Somehow.
I feel like you could figure that out.
The bouncy ball murder.
Everyone is just accidentally getting choked with bouncy balls.
Yeah.
But it's just that it's very unique, is what I'm saying.
If you start a trend on TikTok or something beforehand, that it's like cool to eat bouncy balls.
Yeah.
And then you set it up.
So then people start thinking it's because people are doing this new trip.
But then a serial killer wants people to know that he's out there.
That would be cool.
I start doing streams of like saw traps.
Like if I put other streamers in a saw trap, you know, not it's not going to kill them.
Okay, Mr. Beast.
Can you put people in saw traps?
I mean, I feel like that would be crazy to set that up as a streamer.
Yeah.
And then like one time it's real and you're broadcasting.
Austin true.
Your entire life.
You have lived a life of exorbitance.
I would not want to in front of you are the butts of 16 twinks.
Oh my god.
And only one of them is a key.
You must eat ass to survive.
Oh my God.
Live or die.
That's crazy.
Okay, but that's like crying for him.
None of them have showered in 40.
The whole point is it's too much ass.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
That's that's there's no such thing as too much ass.
Is there too much assumption starting?
You know, you'd be like, he'd be like, oh, I'm not gonna eat stupid donut challenge.
Sometimes you just want to like eat a meal instead.
Yeah, sometimes some like pendulum with a blade on it getting closer to him.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Sounds like such a nightmare.
Yeah.
Yeah, he hates that.
Definitely don't do that to him.
That's really funny.
A sketch of saw traps that people actually really like.
In front of you is a Glorio.
I will suck your car so hard until you.
Oh no.
Mr. Jigthaw.
Damn.
We're so fucked.
Speaking of which, I want to put something out there that people think.
Do it.
I did not steal the Timothy Chalamay wax figurine from the London Madame Tussau's.
Timothy Chalamet's wax.
No, I didn't.
I didn't do any of that.
And I was called out on Twitter by Caroline and Cutie Cinderella.
Caroline saying we know I'm surprised that they are the ones.
No, no, no.
They are saying that Timothy Chalamet.
If you didn't know, from Madame Tussau's wow.
Can we look at the wax figure?
He's pretty good looking.
And how the hell do you get away with something like this?
But anyway, his wax figure was stolen from Madame Tussau's in London.
And in front of you is a wax figure of Timothy Chalamay.
Somewhere in his ass is a key.
You have to dig in with your.
Oh my God.
It looks so real, too.
Not really.
Austin pretending, yeah, like this is the first time he's seen it.
That's crazy.
I don't get like, like, what are they going to do?
Are they going to fuck it?
Well, there's, I doubt there's anything below, like, under that.
Can you even like, how does a wax figure work?
It's made of wax, right?
It's like, I don't know.
I don't even know if you can, like, fuck it.
After being erected, such an interesting use of people fuck cars.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
Oh.
Have you guys seen there's a rash of people, men in Korea fucking other people's cars?
Wait, well, hold on.
In Korea specifically, no, but I have, I have seen like there's like a group of people going around in fucking cars.
Fucking cars.
Like in the exhaust pipe.
Some woman's pink Tesla.
She like came back and like a video guy just like softly kissing the vehicle.
Yeah.
How would you feel if you walked in somebody was fucking your car?
I think you just let it happen.
Yeah.
I it's been a while since my car's gotten sucked.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yo, people don't know this, but it probably feels good as fuck for the car.
Yeah.
Lightning.
Teslas don't have a like a cussy though because it's electric.
I don't even know where he's putting that shit.
Do you think Teslas are like Asian?
He was just like softly kissing.
You can pull it up.
Korean car fuckers.
Yeah, this is a real, this is a real thing.
It's a real thing.
It's like a rash phenomenon.
There's a woman who was like in love with a roller coaster, I'm pretty sure.
No, but the funny thing is, a lot of those people, like, it's like a consensual.
I just watched him look it up and it's pornhub.
Just type in pink Tesla.
But it's apparently a recorded thing where there's been like eight different guys in Korea that they pull up on and they're like passionately.
There's one are they all doing is it like group sex?
Oh, here it is.
Here it is.
South Korea has become the incel nation, dude.
He fingered it for three hours.
Korean man spotted what is he fingering?
He's just getting in there.
But like, where is he putting the finger?
You know what I'm saying?
If you have to ask, you've never fucked a car.
Yeah.
I mean, yes, I have not.
So I want to know.
Well, I mean, like, but look, there's there's other guys that are doing this.
It's a look, look, that's the, that's another one of the other guys where they just had a footage of him trying to fuck the hood of the car.
Look at how pointed his toes are.
He's not even in the right.
I need you to, I need you to zoom in on his toes while we're watching this.
This man is in the throes of ecstasy.
Okay, can I just say he has the fucking Adidas sandals on, so you know, he wasn't even prepared for like an escape or anything?
He saw it and he was to me cute.
Yeah.
He saw this Tesla acting.
But is there even any law that prevents you from having sex with cars?
I watch a documentary on literally this.
I watched a documentary.
I mean, how are you?
What would you be arrested?
Well, yeah, but what if it was in the privacy of your own?
Like, what if you, what if somebody, well, I guess I'm pretty sure you can like fucking car in your own garage or whatever, but like you can't fuck someone else's car.
That's not hot.
He's having a car affair.
You know what I mean?
He saw someone else's car on the way to work and was like, you come here often?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
And they just dude, I want to know what's going through someone's brain because there's other people around endorphins.
I guess.
God damn.
But when you feel, I feel the Mormon, if Mormonism taught me anything, it is to feel judged at all times.
Cutie, if you had to fuck an inanimate object, what would you fuck?
That was very exciting.
I have fucked an inanimate object.
Really?
I know, too.
When you're going through like adolescence, you discover.
He fucked a basketball.
I fucked a cow.
No, I didn't fuck the basketball.
You fucked a basketball?
Yeah.
No.
I've talked about this on the Star Rose podcast like many, many years prior, but like one of my earliest formative sexual experiences was literally laying on top of a basketball and like basically rubbing up and down on the basketball and going, oh, this feels pretty good.
And it's like, it's that.
And then obviously like the classic jet in the pool.
Put your penis in a pool jet?
No, but I have been in the vicinity of the pool jet.
Oh, you put the jet up your ass.
No, I'm saying like you just stand in front of the motion of those and you think you're fucking slick because you're like 12, but like, you know, I never, I don't think I ever fucked an inanimate object.
I used to fuck the corner of couches.
Like I used to hump the that's crazy.
And chairs.
I know someone who that used to be my thing.
You've never, you've never humped an inanimate object.
You are one of the most like sexual beings that I know.
I was jerking off.
You literally have him at what age?
Like you hump things now.
Not in a sexual way.
Yeah, but it's it's much more just like a domination thing.
There's no sexuality.
That's so funny.
Wait, that is true.
You've humped me before.
Yeah, sometimes I'll just, oh, yeah.
You know what it is?
It's like when I feel my bite set in, I get bad impulse control.
And she just started humping?
I just get lizard brain.
That's why it's crazy that you like, you, you can't, you, you hump people in the real world, but you can't, but you never hump people.
But never in like a sexual way.
It's hard to choose an inanimate.
As a lady, have you ever had sex with a lady?
Some of the some of the hacks as girly pop, girly pop nation here, your hacks.
A lot of girls don't talk about this, but then when a girl does, everyone's like, is like the tub faucet?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I've heard of that.
The shower head is really popular.
Banga.
This is not a personal for me, but I've heard this.
Teddy bears and the little hard nose.
They actually, Marsh, look this up.
They make a teddy bear now that kind of looks like that guy, but with a reticulating penis.
What is reticulating?
Why?
Wait, that's so that girly pops can fuck them.
Oh, but it looks like a normal teddy bear.
Hey, girly box, you're crazy.
Does it like go, does it, is there a compartment for it?
Pull that up for us, Billy Raymond.
Articulating penis bear.
Poor Marshall.
Type in teddy bear.
Teddy Bear with a cock.
Teddy bear sex toy, maybe.
Oh, God.
Teddy Bear with retractable cock.
Naughty teddy bears on Etsy.
Wow, there's one.
There's...
That one says, I like your butt.
No, this is one that you fuck.
You need one that can fuck you.
Type in teddy bear sex toy.
Yeah.
Teddy bear with retractable penis.
I think you made it up.
I think this is one that you can fuck.
No, no, we need one that fucks you.
Wait, I tried the teddy bear sex toy.
And let's just say.
It's not for everyone.
Okay.
Wait, does it go down?
Does it have to be a bunch of people?
Did the person put their name on this article?
Articulating Penis Bear Toys00:04:08
I think it's just a vibrator.
Okay, that one vibrates.
There's one with a fucking penis.
Okay.
I mean, I've used the.
You used a reticulating.
Yeah, you've been a suck master.
And I've always been curious about that.
I think I have an unopened one upstairs if you want to try it out.
If you want to give it a whirl.
He always keeps a suck master on deck.
Wait, do you really?
Yeah, is it in a box?
Yeah.
So here's the thing.
Wait, I'm so curious what this feels like.
The womanizer.
Hassan, can you give it to me and I'll do it and then I'll report back.
Sure.
Yeah.
Just there's a sex code called the womanizer.
Put a blanket over me and just this sex toy does not actually vibrate, but uses suction.
And it's one that I've like recommended to my friends quite a bit.
And they literally were like, oh, you are so ride or die for us.
Like, let me, we'll send you like a ton of sex toys.
So they did.
And one of the sex toys was for men.
It was the suck master.
You just like put it on your penis and it just goes and it just like is supposed to simulate a blowjob.
And it wasn't that good.
I just don't really.
The title suck master.
That's what I'm calling it.
I don't think it's a call of sucker.
I would love to meet a person who's like, hi, I'm Janet.
I'm the suck master.
We've modeled it after my suck.
I feel like Janet is the worst name for like suck master.
I feel like when I think of Janet, I think of like hot 80s blonde.
I think of ex-choco bars.
And Janet, you can be a suck master.
I did not.
Will was not saying that.
No, I wasn't.
As his lawyer, I'm defending her.
He said her name.
And as soon as he said Janet, I was like, oh, my client was not talking about ex-choco bars.
No, this, my client, me.
My client, Janet, can be whatever she wants.
Random name.
Wow.
We've said it all.
Have we done it?
All that needs to be done.
Have we done it?
So how much did you, how long have you had that sitting up there for?
He's trying to take your suck master.
I used to have a pocket pussy, and it got caught in airport security one time.
Wait, really?
You traveled with it?
No, I didn't.
What was wrong with you?
Well, I didn't meet.
Okay, so one time I...
By the way, this is literally the apex of Austin's stories.
Airport and gay shit.
No, no, but it was a vagina.
Okay, airport and straight shit, which is a weird.
No, no.
When I was 16, I got a debit card for Christmas.
It was like a $250 debit card.
And the first thing I did was go online and buy a pocket pussy.
Because I thought I was straight at the time.
So I ordered a pocket pussy.
I never want children.
I used it one time.
I used it one time.
And then I put it in like a duffel bag and hid it.
And I never used it again.
But that duffel bag was the only bag I had.
And I packed it and I traveled with it.
And then it went through airport security and it got flagged.
So here's the thing.
First of all, did you enjoy the pocket?
Peter Pussy when you used it?
No, that's why I never used it again.
You had to heat it up.
It sucks.
Yeah, it's too much work.
You put it in the water closing at the top.
Yeah, you got to clean it.
Jesus Christ.
And it also doesn't feel like I am.
I could say this, I guess, confidently.
I'm one of the few unique individuals on the planet who has had the opportunity to both test the pocket pussy of an adult actor and also simultaneously be with the same time to see the news.
No, but she wanted me to test it out because she was like, it was like rolling out.
This was Janice Griffith.
Janice Griffith back when we were dating.
She wanted me to test it out.
And I didn't have the heart to tell her that I just didn't really.
Your pocket pussy just isn't that good.
Well, no whole thing.
Well, it's the inside of it.
They don't do the inside of it.
It's just they do the, they mimic the lips.
Yeah, and that's what any colour and all of that.
But like, it's just not, you know, the real thing is so much better.
Patreon Tier Suck Masters00:03:22
Yeah.
Well, of course.
I mean, that'd be really unfortunate.
I mean, that would suck if they made something so real.
Yeah, I wouldn't say.
I'd be the first to say it.
I'm done with people if that happens.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
But if I have like a robot who can, I don't know, somewhat mimic human emotions.
But I want them to like love it.
Dude, think about it.
Like you have an Ana Di Armis like walking around.
It's over.
It's Jover.
It's so joked that we're going to get there, you think?
Yeah, I do.
Do you think that's better for society?
I think it'll happen just in time for me to be a lecherous old man.
It'll be like the Zizek thought.
It'll be like the Zhizek hypothetical where you will only, you will fuck whatever that robot is.
Because we'll be at like critical mass with how many shitty people there are.
And then all of a sudden people will stop reproducing because they'll all have fucking fuckbots.
I mean, not everyone's going to have access.
So it'll just be, it'll be basically just one of the things.
There's going to be some cut rate fuckbots that, you know, the lithium battery melts down and just fucking explodes.
Solderizes your penis right off.
You guys think we'll be friends forever?
No.
Yes.
I think so.
I think so.
Who do you think here is going to be the first to retire?
Cutie.
Will raised his hand.
Why wasn't it me?
I don't understand.
No.
None of us know how you pay for anything else.
Apparently.
You know why?
Because you're retired.
All right.
Yeah, we don't know.
Hold on.
I'm a testament to what happens when you invest well.
He'll never walk away.
Yeah, you love the camera too much.
I would say I don't think you'll ever fully retire.
I think you will keep trying other businesses.
Trying.
Well, I mean, I like that.
It's hard to make anything as successful as streaming, but I think that'll kind of be your, you know, you'll try different experiences and you'll do this till your heart stops.
Yeah.
I'll be taken out.
Oh, come on.
I hate that sentence.
You guys.
Holy shit.
Before I quit, before I stop.
I'm already kind of retired.
We just said that.
Oh.
And you disagreed.
Well, and now you're agreeing with it.
Yeah.
Well, anyway.
You're my project.
I've given up all of you.
We're going to the Patreon tier.
Oh, yeah.
In the Patreon, I'm going to be giving advice to people in my tier listing the suck master.
So I would put Kaya in A tier.
Kai and Farley vibe.
They hang out.
They're not like...
I can put her in.
Oh.
That's S tier, 100%.
Would adopt unconditionally.
Well, they both hate her.
So we can.
No, no.
B tier.
I don't hate her.
B tier?
No.
Well, rather split the difference.
They both would put her in F tier.
No, no, no.
I would put her in F t tier.
I think she pees everywhere.
In A.
She does not.
He would put her.
Wait, what?
No, she's excuse me.
Kaya is incredibly good.
Kaya is incredibly well trained.
Super easy to walk.
Literally fucking got professional training.
Stands by your side every fucking time.
Do not compare her to your fucked up dog with mental health problems.