Ted Nivison and Jarvis Johnson dissect 2000s fashion brands like FUBU and Hookups, analyze the Peloton stock crash linked to Sex and the City, and debate NFL mascots ranging from the Jacksonville Jaguars' koala-like bear to Fireman Ed. They explore etymological controversies surrounding "niggardly," recount the 1999 David Howard resignation, and discuss unique global sports traditions before concluding with listener advice on respectful social interactions. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Editing Flies From Existence00:07:22
Yeah, pull this thing up.
That thing, look at that top left one.
Top left.
That's a fucking koala.
Bro, that looks like a bad bear.
That's not a jazz bear.
That does not look like a jazz.
No, take that thing away from the kids, bro.
I was about to say, oh, no, he's got a baby.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We're back again.
Back with another one.
And we're doing a we're recording this on a different day because you're going to Gay Week in Miami, right?
Yeah, I'm going to Gay Week in New York, as a matter of fact.
What are you doing in New York?
It's just family stuff.
Okay.
Mom graduation and the whole family is going to be there.
So we're just going to be there for a couple days.
I hate it.
As you know, I hate traveling.
I absolutely despise it.
I don't like leaving my house.
That's why we shoot the podcast in here as opposed to anywhere else.
We have wonderful guests today.
Let's start off with that really quickly.
Ted Nivison, Jarvis Johnson, in the building.
When you're with us, you're gold.
That's true.
I don't even say that.
What do you say?
I always fucking up.
I don't even fucking remember.
I have to do the whole thing.
You're going to make something up.
It's like the alphabet where he says something like that, though.
He says something along the close.
I thought you were doing like Olive Garden.
Yeah, when you're with us, your family?
Yeah, when you're here, your family.
You know, Olive Garden.
I love Olive Garden.
But if you're watching this, you're premium.
That's what I said.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what he.
Yeah.
There we go.
Okay.
Well, anyway, we got wonderful guests today.
We are substituting the weak links of the podcast with some actual, actually talented, funny, clever people.
Wow.
Yeah, that's right.
We've cut a we've trimmed the fat.
Oh.
Yeah, we've trimmed the fat.
Austin's gone.
Cutie Cinderella's gone.
Basically, cutie episode of Fear and Malding.
Yeah, baby.
No, that's a deep cut.
Which literally, like, cutie wasn't even cut because she's bad.
We just cut her because she's a woman.
Gross.
The collective that we all did there as if it was like a psychological deep cut that he just said.
Yeah, just destroyed her in the marketplace of ideas.
That's what I like to do.
I'm a Reddit guy.
I like debating women in the marketplace of ideas about why they're debating me instead of being in the kitchen and stuff like that.
That's a big ass fly.
Holy shit.
Sometimes when I see a fly like that, which is for those of you listening at home, it's like that big.
It's like, how did you grow so large?
Like, how much shit did you eat?
Dude, one time there was, you know, that period last year where it was like raining for like a week or so in LA and it was like people's powers was going out and stuff like that.
Yeah.
On my, it seemed like the apocalypse to me because on my trash bins walking back into my apartment, I was like, I saw a bunch of stuff moving on there.
And I was like, what is that?
Oh, maggots.
The trash bin was covered in white, grimbly little maggots.
Grimble.
That was a common thing in my neighborhood growing up.
Like we had like neighbors toward the end of the street, like many houses down from us, but would constantly like not use trash bags and shit like that.
Oh, and then they would just, there would just be tons of maggots crawling out of the room.
This is probably some sort of trigger warning.
I don't know what for, but it's gross.
Yeah.
And that's, that's apparently the precursor to a fly.
Yes.
There's a maggot.
Yeah.
Which I did?
Which I didn't know until I, until I was like, what is a question?
Where?
Just like eggs, maybe?
That's really funny.
Like little baby eggs.
Oh, they're little slimy.
If you Google it, it's going to be nasty.
But like, yeah, those little slimy guys turn into flies.
Yeah, I used to think that they specifically were like, oh, these are the body-eating bugs.
I think most avian bugs, most flight-worthy bugs do have a metamorphosis.
Yeah.
Wow.
Gross.
Moths, butterflies, flies, wasps.
We should stop that.
Bees.
We should cut that out.
What?
I'm saying just cut it out.
No more flying bugs.
Oh, you're not saying that part of the podcast.
You just say eliminate all flying bugs.
Oh, yeah.
No, I wasn't saying like, let's edit that out.
I'm saying let's edit out flies from existence.
He's too content brain.
Yeah.
That's what I'm thinking.
That's.
I'm sure there's some utility to it.
Some fucking.
Offline bugs, you say?
Offline them.
All flying bugs.
And you said offline bugs.
Yeah.
Oh, hold on.
Hold on.
Do it.
Any offline buggers?
You brought the bliggy.
Okay.
First point of contention or for first order of business.
That's my point of contention.
I love these counterpoint.
Bees.
Dude, bees are terrifying.
I would hate them.
I'm sure there's some circle of life.
No, there's definitely an ecological purpose for bees.
It's like a crazy thing after the mention of bees.
It's like, yeah, no, I guess like bees might be.
Oh, bees.
No, no, no, flies.
Oh.
And other flying bugs.
Yeah.
No, no, there's, there's a purpose for all of it.
I'm sure some lame-ass soy commenter is going to be like, hey, man, you can't kill the plants.
Flies are also.
They're like, I study, I have a PhD in flies.
Flies are also...
It's actually really problematic.
I just want to point out flies are also technically pollinators, and there are certain types of plants that make themselves smell like dead meat to attract flies.
Bro, you are the nerd.
Okay, we have the nerd earlier.
You were going to say you didn't know that maggots turned into flies a second ago?
Yeah, well, I just didn't know where they came from.
I just knew that.
I knew that flies were pollinators.
You know a lot of people.
I don't know where they come from.
I know the fan of their early stuff.
No, yeah, no.
I wasn't aware that they had early stuff.
I thought they just kind of showed up.
I never had thought about that either.
So I guess it's not that shocking.
He was confused that I did not know this knowledge.
He's in with the maggot lore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He knows maggot lore.
Yeah.
Also, if you like see enough maggots in life, you see flies next to them and you can kind of put two and two together.
I thought they were just chilling.
They don't all just transform it.
Well, oh, the flies are just like, yo, we're gross as fuck.
And these things are gross.
Gross solidarity.
Yeah.
Because like flies, what do they do?
They fucking land on shit and then they land on your food.
Yeah.
So like, I just thought, you know, it's more of the landing on the shit category for them where it's like, yeah, I love this gross, slimy larva stuff.
Is this true when flies land on you, they shit?
I've heard that.
Oh, I'm sure that there's.
I know that they eat vomiting and then the vomit melts things and then they suck their vomit back.
That's what you're going to do.
Rock and roll.
Yeah.
Because we do the same thing, except for we have the acid.
We have the vomit inside us.
Bro, you are literally making it better.
What is this?
My uncle used to tell me, March, that doesn't.
This is my blog.
My uncle used to tell me that every time a fly lands, it poops.
It turns out that's not true, but anytime they land on your food, they're more than likely throwing up on it.
The Gross Slimy Larva Truth00:12:48
Yeah.
Based.
Bro, you are making such a good argument to just eviscerate all flies, I think.
We should figure out a way to like use robots to pollinate and then just little nanobots.
Cut out the goddamn bottom.
But that didn't go well in that one episode of Love Death Robots, I think.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, true.
It's a good series.
That's one where it was like, it was on a different planet, though.
So maybe it doesn't involve us.
Yeah, it's not, it's not Earth, bro, Earth shit.
Like, we should figure it out.
You're a series of Love Death Robots.
Yes, but I don't remember the one that you're referencing.
Aside from flies.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Mosquitoes.
Oh, sorry.
What do you guys have going on here?
I wanted to do a first order business.
Oh, first order.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah, sure.
We have to address the elephant in the room, everybody.
For those of you listening at home, for those of you listening at home, this is not just Ted.
Ted's been on the podcast before.
This is Ted 2, as I like to call it.
2.0.
This is Ted 2.0.
He is dripped out in fuckboy attire.
Yeah.
You can't say, I'm literally, it's like Elwood Elwood.
So now you're insulting your friend.
Oh, yeah, I do know the guy who owns the brand.
But listen, you're wearing very fashionable clothes right now.
Thank you.
But it doesn't end there.
He literally has the keychain.
Well, I have these keys.
These keys have been part.
I know, but now they are hanging.
They are angling because I saw people do that.
I'll admit it.
I saw people doing that.
And that was like the cool thing to do.
You look cool.
In my defense, though, back in high school, the thing to do was to show people that, oh, you drove to school, your bar and your parents' car to drive to school.
Like, you would have everyone had a lanyard.
And the cool thing to do was like you had your keys in your pocket, but the lanyard was tapering out of the out of the pocket.
And it was like, I was one of these guys.
Little spinning, a little spin.
Around the things.
Yeah.
You guys ever leave the tags on your clothes to think cool?
Wow.
Really?
The new era.
The new era hats.
I would love it.
I hated that shit.
I feel like the would get itchy though.
Like on short.
It's definitely done as a status move.
It's not done for like, there's no practical reason to do it.
I don't think I've ever done that.
I've forgotten tags and clothes.
There's a lot of trends that I engaged in that were pretty wild.
Janko jeans.
Do you guys remember those?
I had Echo.
Yeah.
Echo Unlimited.
You were an Echo guy.
I was an Echo guy with the dragon pants that like looped.
The dragon looped from your butt.
All the way depths.
You're starting to throw out words.
I'm not.
I wore like a big in the like, you know, the tall tees.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was big into tall tees, big into like 3XL because it was like the 2003 NBA draft or whatever.
Everybody had big shoes.
Yeah.
Did you wear any foobu?
Oh, I wasn't a fooboo guy.
I wore always.
You wore foo-boo?
Fuck yeah.
Wait, for us, by us, bro.
Yeah, I mean, I was in New York physically barred from wearing foo boo.
You know, speaking of movies.
You're forgetting that I'm Turkish and I grew up in Turkey.
So there's no black people in Turkey, but I was like obsessed with American culture.
Bro, that's kind of old.
Oh, you want to know some words?
In like the late 90s, early 2000s, that was short for For Us by Us.
It's like us being black.
Yeah.
And so it was very cool.
Yeah.
But we were forbade from wearing it.
It's a menace.
Kind of like how Kendrick said don't care.
I wore foo-boo.
It doesn't stop there, though.
You want to know what I did?
I was growing up in Turkey and I wore a nelly band-aid to school.
No.
That's actually the hardest thing I've ever heard you say.
I never heard this side of you.
Yeah.
And it's really funny.
I never took a call.
I wore it one time.
And I'll tell you why.
Is that a band-aid joke?
So you said getting into some deep cutscene.
Double entendre.
No, I wore a nelly band-aid to school because I thought it was so cool.
And then they literally put, I'm in Turkey, so no one knows who the fuck Nelly is.
So they just looked at me and were like, do you have a zit that you're calling?
So I immediately took it off never again.
Did you have like other Ameribu peers?
No.
That you could like talk about American culture with Ameribu.
Like a Weibo, like a weeb, but for American culture.
Go some Ameribo to school.
I don't know if I'm allowed to deserve it.
I've heard you.
Yeah, I say Ameriboo.
It's a valid term.
For me, I was really invested in whatever the fuck the latest thing was.
But like my peers, when you grow up on the other side of the planet, like obviously everyone's invested in American culture, but like they're following along like with a, with a delay, maybe like a one or two year delay.
Now that delay with the internet is like instant, is not as bad.
I need pictures of you wearing foo boo.
I think there might be one.
Pull that up.
Pull up.
There might be a lot of stuff.
There's a picture that is.
If you look up on Google, Hassan Piker wearing FUBU.
Where I'm wearing a triple XL Wayne Crabette Jets jersey with sweatpants that are like eight sizes too big.
And I think I was wearing Tim's too.
No, dead ass.
Dead ass Tim.
I wore a white.
I have my sixth grade yearbook still.
And I'm wearing a tall tea, silver chain, like very baggy pants and Jordans.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
I wore a fucking life is good t-shirt.
Yeah, we know.
We know.
We can tell you.
Ted turned around and was like, I wore a lot of foo-uh.
I really.
Yeah, no, you're like, I told you this.
No, you wore Birkenstocks.
Life's good.
When I first met you, but definitely life's good.
A little bit of life's good.
When I first met you, I said, you look like you live in Vineyard Vines.
Yeah.
No, Vineyard Vines were definitely a thing in my era.
It was the Sperries.
Berry.
Right above the knee.
The boat shoes for what?
Salmon, salmon khaki shorts.
Oh, yeah, me too.
I like that.
Tucked-in.
I had that.
The tucked-in Izod and or you were a frat boy.
That's how people dressed in suburban Massachusetts.
Yeah, at the frats at George.
In the 2000s, the 2020s.
In Atlanta in the South, there were a bunch of these very southern-looking frat houses where they would all be like, yeah, exactly.
And they would wear that outfit.
Well, what's funny about it?
No, that's a hate.
I always confused by how the southern style became to wear vineyard vines because vineyard vines comes from Massachusetts.
Because of what I just mentioned, it is basically like a clan robe.
It's the hate crime style.
Someone tell me that my entire style was a clan robe.
Bro, I'm sorry.
You're talking about Massachusetts.
What is the most racist state in the north?
Massachusetts.
In the north.
Yeah.
So, like, they separate Boston from the rest of the set.
That's so bad.
Yeah.
I don't know, though, of all of those pieces of clothing.
Racist against witches.
Salem.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Women.
Of all those pieces of clothing, the one that is the most baffling to me.
And I wore them were Sperrys.
Oh, me too.
They're boat shoes.
Yeah.
How did that become standard for air?
I don't know.
Well, it was both shoes.
It was boat shoes, and then it was, it was the halfway up the calf socks.
Oh, yeah.
But then some people would wear them without socks, but they didn't understand how to do that properly.
So it was like a bunch of high school dudes walking around with stanky feet.
At that same era where people were wearing boat shoes, I was like a skater kid.
I was wearing like an element graphic tee.
Nice.
Oh my God.
And we're like Spitfire jeans.
I had the audio belt buckle, like a huge belt buckle.
Do you remember the brand hookups?
No.
Oh my God.
Same era.
Pull this up, Billy Ravebrains.
There's a brand called Hookups.
And hookups was a skateboard brand that was basically famous for doing hentai on their clothing.
Oh, okay.
Before that was a thing.
Yeah.
That's it.
I had every shirt from this brand.
Oh, my God.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
It's just, it clicked.
I had one of their shirts.
I would go into school every week.
And every week, my teachers would make me go to the nurse's office.
They would give me a dare shirt and I would have to give them my t-shirt.
And this was a weekly battle that I waged with my school.
This is so sick.
I had every hookup shirt.
I also rocked the studded belt.
You know, the three rows of studs.
Yeah.
Big belt buckle.
Yeah.
And you, but then you also had the, oh, yeah.
And then you also, you had to wear skate shoes, but then your skate shoes had to have like grip tape wear and tear so that you could tell you actually skated.
I actually weren't a poser.
You fought a pair.
No, I could skate.
I can't skate.
I bought an old pair of skate shoes because this is actually interesting.
Watch this.
Do you remember an Osiris D3?
Pull that up, Bailey Ray Brands.
I'm going to show you something crazy.
Okay.
I'm going to show you something that's going to be that.
Osiris D3 was the chunkiest of all skate shoes.
Oh, God.
I hate these.
Yes, I do know this shoe.
Now, this is going to blow your mind.
Okay.
Type in Lavin shoes.
Lavin in a different tab, in a different tab.
Lavin, this high fashion brand, ripped the design for Osiris D3s and made a shoe that is just an Osiris D3 that is like $1,000.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Can't begin to explain to you how much I hate the chunky laces.
Oh, so now go back to the D3.
Go back to the D3.
I bought a pair of D3s and I just put the all-black ones and I just put chunky laces in them and they are Lavins.
I, yeah, I also disliked the one, one lace, like this type of laces you do where you do like just horizontal lines across.
Wait, Marsh, can you pull up the audio ADIO Kenny Anderson V2s?
Oh, baby.
AD.
Oh, I have a Miami shoe that I wore a lot as well.
Kenny Anderson V2s in black with like the caramel outsole.
That is so specific.
Yeah, man.
His dyslexic ass is not typing all that, bro.
You're cooking them.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That like one on the far right.
Yeah.
But the one that's like black.
If you go like X out of that.
Oh, these shoes are so ugly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The far right with black.
I hated these shoes.
Oh, yeah.
Another shoe?
These also had a rubber.
They had a rubber toe.
So you could scrape that against your...
Yeah, I mean, you could scrape that against your...
Yeah, exactly.
Other shoe from this era?
Type in iPath shoes.
Oh, yeah.
Do you remember iPath?
I used to get CSS Magazine, which was like the.
This like mail order type in no skateboard magazine type in eye patch.
Yeah, this is like a quick time event for Marsh where he's like having to do like, dude look, do this immediately and don't make a mistake.
Oh, my god, did any of you rock Wallabies?
No no, that was Wallabies.
You guys want to know?
Okay, so i'll tell you what i'm wearing now.
I I got the.
Uh, they're not Wallabies, but they're damn close, they're Clarks.
The Clarks are back in style.
Those are, those are Wallabies.
Yes, Clarks Makes I wear them now.
Yeah, I wear them now and they're comfy as yeah, Clarks or the Pokemon Company sent me the Clarks Pokemon collab and I want to like those shoes so bad, but they're so ugly.
What size are they?
Are they the Wallabies?
11.
i don't know i don't know what a wallaby is type in probably not a wallaby clark's wallaby that's a wallaby oh yeah the yellow boot oh they're so bad jarvis wait actually no they don't look that good these i have no these are no uh so the next row on the left those actually look kind of those are what i have i will try i will trade you any of my possessions That's like some shit Ludwig would wear is like just dropping strays.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Listen, you guys want to know?
I like my wallabies.
They're tan though.
What's a wallaby?
Sorry, if that is a wallaby.
It's like that is a wallaby.
It's like a mix between a loafer and a moccasin.
But it has like a really thick gum soul that is like almost geriatric in how comfortable it is.
This is actually really interesting.
Clark's wallabies are an old man shoe.
Yeah.
Clark's Wallaby Shoe Comfort00:15:49
Except, except for one exception: Ghostface Killer.
Whoa.
The Ghostface Killer fell in love with Clark's Wallabies and he exclusively wears Clark's Wallabies to the point where he has his own Clark Wallaby.
And so he basically single-handedly made Wallabies like a piece of New York hip-hop culture.
That's cool.
That's actually a very cool story.
Do you know why LaCroix went from being like a Midwestern mom drink to like a that I don't know?
I because that was a thing.
Like is this a genuine question or do you have the answer?
No, I don't know the answer.
But it you presented that like you were about to blow up.
Because Ghostface Killer actually drinks.
Something about the film industry, because I knew it was.
It's a meme within the film industry, LaCroix as like a on set.
I unironically fucking love LaCroix.
I do too and it it bothers me when people don't like it because it's like I actually have a problem.
I'll go through a case a day.
My favorite one is the key lime flavor.
I like the regular lime, so fuck you the key lime and lime.
And then there's one from Tangerine, like they really.
Yeah, is it's like?
It's like a party, it's okay.
Like it's like going to Boca Town.
That's right, you gotta slip on your sparries.
It's like what Margarita Will wishes.
It could be okay.
That's what i'm coming from.
You are the, you are the expert.
Well, I mean, you know what.
It's one of those things where you know there's the idea that those restaurants represent and then there's the actual functional process of being in one and eating the food.
I would love to go to a Margaritaville with you.
Yeah, let's go to the Universal.
We'll go to the Universal City.
Walk on.
What are we doing after this?
Um, we're going to flying to New York.
What time?
Immediately yeah, pretty much you're, you're half asleep.
We have to stop doing these after your, your stream.
No, i'm not, i'm pointing the finger.
Look at you.
What you?
I wouldn't let you drive a car right now.
No, i'm perfectly alert.
I'm coming from Australia.
Jet lag, and this guy's in less shape than me.
I'm on three hours baby, that's right.
I did two hours of peloton today.
Wow, i'm not sloppy.
I re-broke my rib during my toes so I haven't been able to work out, so all I can do is peloton button.
Oh, I was talking about how much sleep I had, not.
How much.
Did you get a peloton, like during the pandemic?
Or like my girlfriend did, and i'm the only one who uses it, the because?
All I know is that the peloton stock was, like hella, inflated and then it crashed to like.
Do you know the story of why it crashed?
Well, other than the Covet like no one everybody, because Covet's over.
This is an incredible story.
Okay, this is an incredible story.
Have you ever heard of Sex In The City?
Yes okay, one of the main characters on Sex Of The City is a guy named Big.
Big was in the movies.
He was in the series in the Sex In The City Canon.
In an episode he has a heart attack while riding a peloton and literally all of the the over.
The then diagram of women who watch sex in the city and use a peloton is almost one for one right.
And that was it no way, dude.
Look at, I definitely look at it.
Also connected to being overinflated during yes, I think.
I think, Like everybody, then people bought it.
Like people know, but like the way that we'll delivered it, I believe it's like people inflated it because they were like, this is going to last forever.
This business is, you know, how people are going to stay fit.
But I think I don't felt from our instructors.
I thought that's what you were going to say.
I thought you were going to say that, like, it's because they no longer have a process of making it.
Peloton fell 11% after.
But a key character in HD, I don't think you're lying about that.
Oh, how?
So it wasn't the original Sex in the City.
This was the Sex in the City revival.
My friend Katie worked on that set.
So, Marsh, if you pull up Peloton's stock and then go to five-year camera, you will be able to.
Well, certainly it was declining.
No, But that was the coffee.
No, but that's 11%.
But then, yeah.
Yeah.
And then it's like, and then it just starts.
That's the beginning of these.
But it's also the time that we all started going back to work.
Damn.
And it's lower than it was before the pandemic.
Their stock is lower than it was before.
Why don't you want to believe my catchy?
No, I think it's.
I'm investigating.
And also, if I'm a day one, hour one watcher of Sex in the City, I'm shorting that stock the second I see that heart attack happen.
I think it was so bad, Sex in the City like apologized and like ended up.
I remember seeing like the story.
I just can't imagine that someone in charge of their marketing division would have let that happen on a show.
Like, it's like, you know, we want to have Peloton in your show.
Well, they might have paid.
Another good example of this: do you know that share or sales of indoor rowing machines or home rowing machines, ergs, went absolutely fucking ballistic after Sex in the City House of Cards?
Because he's always using an ERC.
Oh, that's cool.
And it probably just the only reason I know what an erg is is because there was a city rowing team.
Like there was Gainesville area rowing in my hometown of Gainesville, Florida.
Are you a Gainesville rower?
I wasn't, but I had friends who were.
And but I had a lot of friends who were.
And so I would just learn a bunch of stuff through osmosis about rowing that I didn't want to know.
Like the person groupie sits in.
Yeah, I fucked all of them.
The person who sits in the front of the boat is the smallest person.
They're called the coxswain and it's spelled Cas Swain.
Yeah.
It's also connected to why they stopped doing the analogy SAT questions.
Because, yeah, what's it called?
Is that that's an analogy when it's like this is to this as this is to this.
They're they like called them out.
Like there's people who call those out as classist because who the fuck knows what a cockswain is or cox pronounced.
I do.
But it's but I wore boat shoes.
Yeah, that's the thing.
And this is exactly.
Get off your phone, slut.
I'm looking for podcast topics, but it's mostly we got one.
Cockswains.
Get involved.
Do you guys know about what a coxswain is?
Yeah, what's a cockswain?
I don't know.
I'm Turkish.
My dad got here.
He's dead.
We just told you what it was.
He died, man.
It's a rowing thing, isn't it?
He's not his podcast.
He's contested, though.
I think it's a rowing thing.
It's the short guy on the team.
Hey, it's true.
We just talked about it.
The short guy on the team.
Like the lightest person.
Lightest, smallest, because they don't want to tip the boat.
Listen, I have and they've got to yell.
They yell.
They keep everybody in line.
So I know you guys don't watch our podcast, but on our podcast from time to time, I have a segment called America Me Up.
Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of Fear Ann, folks.
This is your co-host, Boston Show of the Fear Ann podcast here with a very special news bulletin.
I know you may be enjoying a wonderful, wonderful episode, but I'm here to remind you that there's a brand new show on the Patreon called, what are we calling it?
Advice show with Austin Show, where I give you advice and it's phenomenal.
And there's lots of people involved and guests and all sorts of cool shit.
This is not, I'm not selling it, am I?
I had to interject here, folks, because nobody in this episode remembered to promote this particular segment after I told them to do so.
So I'm here to give our first ever mid-real advertisement on Fear Hand.
So go check out the Patreon.
It's there right now.
There's a number you can call to be a part of the advice segment.
It's for tier two patrons and hire.
We love you.
You're the American middle class, the backbone to this country.
And we always appreciate you.
We always appreciate you.
And happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day to all those wonderful, beautiful, natural working mothers.
I love them so much.
We need more.
We need to do more for our mothers.
We really do.
That's right.
There's nobody here to respond to me because I'm alone in this podcast studio.
It's very depressing.
I broke into Hassan's house to film this.
I imagine most of this is going to get cut.
I imagine most of this is going to get cut.
I think all of it's probably going to get cut.
What else do I need to say?
But on our podcast, from time to time, I have a segment called America Me Up where I teach Philistines that are typically my co-hosts about the joy of being an American.
And so I show some of our most important and most uplifting moments in American history.
Last America Me Up was literally about like the Mistake on the Lake balloon crisis.
Yes.
A massacre caused by balloons.
Every episode?
Yes.
Did you ever prepare beforehand?
No, I'm just ad libbin right now.
Yeah, I do.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
I would have believed that you're just like dipping your little finger into your basket of general knowledge, of which you have a lot.
Yes.
Yes.
He is a lore master.
He's a lore master.
He's a special one just for you.
Oh.
You did not know that Ted was going to be on this podcast until literally.
Yes, I did.
You could send it to me.
Because you delayed the pod a fucking hour, you penis.
Oh, we called you a penis.
That's not a fun thing to be called.
That's like a cockswain, but just without the wane.
Yeah, and without all the worst cockswain.
Look at the size of a man.
That's like a cockswain.
That's convincing.
Yeah.
Well, listen, Ted, you're a man who likes tradition.
You like your animatronics?
Tradition is a dubious one.
I love you.
Do you suggest as far back as we can go?
Listen, we already established where you're from.
Yeah, we already established.
I was wearing the clan robe of Massachusetts.
My man just wants to live in the 1830s, but without all the races.
Yes.
But with everything else.
You know, the Irish were oppressed as well.
Yeah.
Classic Massachusetts talking point.
I'm also a man of tradition, and I always try and tell these other ding-dongs that our traditions are what make us great.
Okay.
Okay.
I also want to teach them about football.
Ooh.
Football traditions.
Okay.
I don't know if you know anything about the third team in New York, the Buffalo Bills, but they have some of the best football fans in the world.
Because they're like constantly losing, right?
No, they're actually, they've been pretty good recently.
Recently, yeah.
Recently, but like historically, I thought they were.
There was a girl named Mary Kate, who I went to high school with, who was really into the Buffalo Bills.
Yes.
And that's where I that's where I learned some things about them.
Yes.
Now, do you know what Buffalo Bills fans are called?
Lil Williams.
How did you know that?
No, that's not at all crazy.
I would have been really confused.
Oh, Will?
Okay, I got one.
The Bilbo Baggins.
No, no, no, no.
The Billy Bills.
No, it's the Bills Mafia.
You've probably heard this term before.
Yes.
Now, the Bills Bills Mafia are famous for dealing in extremes.
They will jump off the through tables.
They'll set themselves on fire.
What?
Oh, yes.
Self-immolation.
For a real political cause.
Yeah.
The Bills.
Yeah.
How often are they doing that?
Every fucking Sunday.
So there's someone who sells emulating every Sunday.
Every Sunday.
That's a serious problem.
It's like you find out that you've been chosen to self-immolate.
Jeez.
You can eat it.
That's just raising.
Bills Mafia.
Every Sunday, someone has to die.
And you know that there was at least a couple Buffalo Bills fans that had really strong opinions on self-immolation.
Just take a look.
Just take a look.
This is.
There he is being thrown for a flaming table.
Wait, that actually is fucking self-immolation.
Yes.
No, it's not self-immolation.
That's fucking bad.
Well, he is emulating himself.
Assisted.
Now that's a tour bus, probably 10 feet tall.
He's screaming and bang!
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Absolutely shatters himself.
And he just fucking pops up.
So what do people in Buffalo do for a living?
Like, what does that guy do for a living?
Well, they eat wings.
Yeah, I mean, probably construction or they sometimes wander over to Niagara Falls.
Yeah, there's a lot of tables.
Now pause.
I don't want to give anything away.
All of these folding tables, they're just folding on the seam, which is very funny.
Now, there are a lot of famous fans within the Buffalo Bills mafia.
Wait, really?
Yes.
Oh.
Because they are so adamant in their story.
Who the fuck is...
Oh, oh, you're saying these guys are famous in the fandom.
Within the fandom, yeah.
But there is one that soars so far beyond all the rest.
And his name is Pinto Ron.
Marsh, type in Pinto Ron.
What does he eat a lot of beans and fart?
Dude, gotta.
He doesn't do anything.
He's gotta crap.
He doesn't do anything so crap.
Please pull up a video of Pinto Ron, what he does.
I'm hearing cats.
Just white people as far as the eye can see.
This is what Pinto Ron does.
This is Buffalo.
You'll see in a moment now.
There he is.
There he is.
They beckoned him like the horn of Gondor.
Why is there so much Heinz ketchup?
I'm not kidding, I guess.
It's a ritual.
There he is!
The god himself.
Are they going to bukake him with ketchup?
Just watch.
Sorry.
How old is he?
Pinto Ron's been doing this a long time.
My God.
Now he does this before every home bills game.
And he goes to the game like this.
You see how he's got the burger?
He needs some ketchup.
He's like, I need some ketchup, please.
Now, watch how a hero is born.
Communion.
I hate that I was right.
Hassan's face is the best thing I've ever seen right now.
Throwing some red ropes.
What?
Oh my god.
Looks like a Cronenberg.
He's guys, he doesn't.
He only has ketchup.
They forgot to give him mustard.
Show him the mustard, too.
This looks like a scene out of the fly.
Yes.
Brings it back to flies.
Mustard And The Cronenberg Look00:14:27
Now, there are many legends about Pinto Ron.
Is he going to eat it?
Ew.
Wait, now they're dipping him.
You want to know?
There are some amazing things.
Yeah, but it looked like somebody put the mud, like, dipped his mustard into the shot before they took it.
For sure, it's they're taking communion.
Like in the catalogue, they don't deserve to win.
The body of Christ.
I see.
You've got to eat the body of Christ.
They deserve to lose.
Now, some interesting facts about Pinto Ron.
Pinto Ron.
You're quite contrarian right now.
I just, I. By the way, it's funny that you just said some interesting facts on Pinto Ron.
As if we didn't watch a very interesting fact about him.
Well, you got to know about the man now.
Right, yeah, please.
Pinto Ron drives a Ford Pinto.
Drives a Pinto.
That's awesome.
But he's modified the front of it so the hood of his car is actually a grill that he can prepare food on at a tail.
Oh my god.
Wait, so when he drives on the highway, he just gets like flies and mosquitoes.
I don't know how the grill.
Okay, okay.
You can pull that up as well.
Now, Pinto Ron's name is Ron Ron.
No.
Kyle.
It's not Ron.
They actually got his name wrong in the newspaper the first time they reported on him.
And he tried to correct it, but Bills fans were so adamant that he was now Ron that he goes by.
What's his name?
Like Harold?
You can pull up the story of Pinto Ron now.
I want to show you guys this video.
But this man keeps this tradition alive.
Do you know how long the tradition's been going?
I think it's at least five years at this point.
Oh, okay.
I was thinking it was going to be a little bit more.
Oh, so he's like, wait, hold up.
He's like 55 years old.
So he started doing this thing when he was 50.
Well, let's look at the story here of Pinto Ron.
The legend of this is an official Bill's sponsored by Nails.
Ken Johnson.
That's what I'm saying.
No relationship.
This is not Pinto Ron.
They got his name wrong in the newspaper.
Ken Johnson.
I've been a Bills fan since the day I was born.
That's my dad.
I've probably been to around 600 Bills games.
There's the Pinto.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Five years.
I always try to look for some unusual way to do something.
After I get back from work, it's nearly full time after work.
Getting all the coolers and buying all the food and such.
Takes me a couple hours to kind of set up on Saturday where I get most of this stuff pushed around.
I'll be back out here tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock in the morning finishing up.
There's the pinto grill.
I got six grills.
We use a stewing pot and put an army helmet in it for wings.
We got a saw that we sizzle bacon on.
I got a hubcap for stir-fry.
We got a rake for hamburgers and hot dogs.
Oh, that's great.
We got a pizza going in a filing cabinet.
We got a rim from an indie card.
We'll do sausages, ribs, and stuff on there.
We got a pizza going in the filing cabinet.
Wild sentence.
We got a mailbox that's going to be done by jerk chicken.
Mustard, shenanigans.
It actually started one time when I needed some ketchup on a burger.
And my brother was sitting there with some ketchup and I shot it about 12 inches.
I was like, whoa.
And it evolved into what it looks like now.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
He is a fucking hero.
You think he hates it, low-key?
No, he loves it.
What if he secretly hates it and he's like just cursed?
That like for the rest of his life, he actually.
Ready to see this in 1080p to try to attract attention.
It's just at some point.
Dude, and it's the beard keeps it all in.
So it like becomes part of his.
It looks like it becomes a.
I hate your take that he doesn't want to do this.
I hate it so much.
Let me tell you guys: here's the lesson: Pinto Ron does things his own way.
Yeah.
And he is not dissuade by the world around him.
He's an apostle.
Tradition.
And because of his adamant love for tradition, Bills, he has a fan base.
Fans that love him.
And he makes people happy.
How?
Taking hot bukakis right in the face.
Of ketchup and ketchup and muscle.
Here's the thing.
It's so simple.
So beautiful.
I agree.
And I think that even recently we see this in the news of people.
People love.
You seem surprised, but it's going to make sense.
People love those who will step up and do some sort of egregious activity with a large amount of food.
And I'm glad you said that.
The guy who went to that park in New York and ate all those cheese balls.
He's wearing the balaclava.
Which is our next topic.
Hold.
Which is our next topic.
Hold.
But you brought up a good point.
It makes people happy.
That's why I wanted to ask a question.
I brought up that.
No, he said it makes people happy.
Before he said it, you definitely said that.
I want to ask Hassan Piker.
I agree.
Did he mention it?
Hassan Piker.
Oh, that it makes people happy.
No, but you said the thing about spectacle.
Yeah.
Well, no one hates football more than Hassan Piker.
That's not true.
No one hates football more than that.
I just don't care about it.
And no one hates my team, the New York Jets, more than Hassan Pikachu.
That's not even true.
They're the Muslim team.
Are they the Muslims?
He knows that they're one of the worst teams in the that's why I challenge you, Hassan Piker, okay, to a bet.
Wait, what?
Oh, gambling is haram.
Muhammad Salah would hate.
It's the New York Jets.
That's his name, right?
Robert Salah.
Yeah, the coach of the New York Jets.
Muhammad Salah is the footballer, right?
Robert Salah.
Robert Salah.
He's a Lebanese Muslim man.
It's the New York Jets.
Coach.
Win the Super Bowl this year.
Okay.
You do a Pinto Ron.
But if they don't, I'll do a Pinto Ron.
Okay, but like...
So you just want to do a Pinto Ron.
You want to do a Pinto Ron, but like, I already have a Pinto Hassan.
How long friendship homie handshake agreement that if the New York Jets go to the Super Bowl, even if they don't win, that we're going.
Yeah.
And guess what?
And we're taking it.
If they win that game, we'll be there for you to do a Pinto Ron live at the Super Bowl.
Yay!
There it is.
Okay, so Will's going to do a Pinto Ron.
Yep.
Is this like a, this is just this year or is it performing?
No, this is just this year.
The other one, the long-standing one, is like, if the New York Jets go to the Super Bowl, like we combine the tickets, we're going.
Yeah.
But you brought up our next topic.
You jumped in.
Well, before we, well, I want to jump back in on Jets.
You want to jump back in.
Just real quick.
How do you feel about having the same team as Gary Vee?
Yeah, I was going to say, I was going to mention Gary Vee as well.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, that exists.
That's so bad.
Gary Vee's whole thesis is that he wants to be rich enough to buy the Jets.
Yeah, which he kind of definitely surely is not.
Can I retort?
Can I retort?
Yes.
If Gary Vee bought the Jets, he would probably be one of the least problematic owners.
Oh, yeah.
I was ready for you to say that he was going to be like the Elon Musk of football.
No, I mean, I'm just saying, like, listen, everybody's got fans that they're proud of, and everybody's got fans that they're less proud of.
Yeah, I was just curious.
It's not going to affect my fandom.
Oh, of course.
He's already dealing with the fact that he's got Alien Rogers.
To burn my fucking vax card, you know?
Wait, were you doing a Gary Vee impression?
When you said, I'm already like, really, you hit the Gary Vane.
Why'd you have to burn your vax card?
A solidarity.
Out of solidarity with Aaron Rodgers.
You have to vote for JFK Jr.
RFK.
RFK Jr. after his brainworms.
Yeah.
No, no, that's why you have to vote for him.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because the brainworms actually made him a woke man.
I'm dialed in.
Tradition.
Pinto Ron.
Will neff.
See what I'm saying?
Destruction of vax cards.
Well, Aaron Rodgers.
I think that he definitely hits home with.
I mean, I'm surprised that you're not a Buffalo Bills fan, to be honest.
So, so I don't, I have a, I have a belief.
I have a belief.
Because you're definitely the kind of guy to jump through a team.
I have a belief.
You probably have you all the time.
Don't get to choose what team you're a fan of ever in life.
I think that anybody who has chosen a team to be a fan of- Like the hospital you're born at.
Exactly.
Exactly.
This is so stupid.
My hands a little sweaty holding this gun.
You're so dumb.
You're born into your team.
You're like, you're.
It's so funny because it's the Jets, too.
It's just, you're stuck.
Where were you born?
Listen, you don't claim your birthright, Galatasarai.
You think I don't know?
No, I would be more of a Jets.
That is the Turkish soccer team that he was born into being a fan of.
No, and he denied them.
No, it was Fanatabach, but I denied it.
It sounded like you brought out the most Eldridge name.
Yeah, yeah.
Galatasarai.
Galatasarai.
From the planet of Zorg, where you hail.
Pelethasai is the enemy.
It's actually Fanatabache.
My whole family's Fanatabacha fans.
Like my dad draped me in that shit when I was a kid.
And he denied his birthright.
I fucking hated it.
He denied his birthright.
No, but I would be.
My birthright would technically be as a New Jersey-born child, I would be a Jets fan.
Yes.
Well, that makes things a little bit complicated.
Come on.
Well, think about this, though.
For those who have lived for tens and tens of years, also known as decades, means there are certain scenarios where that could be really tough.
And furthermore, in this essay, I'm going to be talking about it.
Like, for instance, my, I think my, I'm about 50% sure on this.
I think my grandfather had a period where he played for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
What?
I think.
I'm not sure.
Or maybe he played for like a different team.
Something in Brooklyn, though.
Well, that's your birthright.
No.
No.
What?
Yes.
So then where was your grandfather born?
My grandfather born?
Where were they born?
Germany.
So what's the football team in Germany then?
They don't have one.
Well, I'm not.
I was born in New York.
I wasn't born in New York.
They were too busy doing some other stuff.
I'm the Jets, baby.
I'm the Pats.
I'm the Pats.
The Pats play football.
Baseball.
Well, because what I was about to say is that the Blackboard.
But if your team moves, he's saying...
The Brooklyn Dodgers, where are the Dodgers now?
They're in Loenling.
Loangling?
Yeah.
So what do you do?
You fall in the Seattle Supersonics fan?
What do you do?
Obviously, there are exceptions to it.
But yeah, I'm just wondering if there's a carryover.
My problem.
I feel like I'm, you know, who I'm talking about.
I'm being crucified for asking a question.
Listen, listen.
You're not who I have an issue with.
I have an issue with.
You remember when everybody in the world was a Golden State fan?
That's crazy.
When did that happen?
Remember, now that everybody is a Kansas City?
Oh, I'm still a Golden State fan.
But in my defense, I lived in San Francisco before the dynasty.
That's fine.
This is fair.
Because it was very exciting.
Are you just a little bit pissed off when everybody started wearing new shit?
Yeah, yeah.
I actually got pissed off that I have to explain that.
No, But from before, I was like, when they won it the first time, I was like, yay, first.
And that's what I'm saying.
The Jets, long have we suffered?
Long have we suffered.
You would love it if there were fans, which means which would imply that the Jets are winning.
They're gonna win.
What's the mascot of the Jets?
A jet.
Yeah.
Like a plane?
Yeah.
I think, isn't it a blimp?
No.
It looks like kind of blimpy.
It's a jet.
It's like a helmet.
Bro, it looks like a blimpy ass jet.
No, the Jets do not have a mascot.
Pull up the New York Jets helmet.
Oh, bro.
That's on the FAQ on the website.
You don't even know about the Jets, dog.
That's the jet above that.
Look, it's on the helmet.
No, up.
That's a fall.
Jesus Christ.
Right there.
Break him.
Go.
Oh, my God.
Ricked him.
Is that not what you're doing?
Yes, this one.
This one.
That's the jet.
You see it?
It's above the name.
Well, that's a curve.
That's a plane.
At best, it's a Concord, which are not even being made.
Bro, you are called the flight crew.
Yeah.
Listen up, big dog.
Turns out they don't even have a fucking bag.
That would be pretty fucking awesome if a giant anthropopromorphic jet came out and started doing a little different thing.
Well, we do have an unofficial mascot.
His name's Fireman Ed.
These guys look like tradition.
Fireman Ed.
Okay, these guys look like they're celebrating 9-11, bro.
What's happening here?
Well, a lot of them were probably first rate.
If anyone's celebrating 9-11, it's the Pittsburgh Steelers.
This is Fireman Ed.
Fireman Ed is our unofficial mascot.
Still Beam's joke?
Oh.
It's still Beam's Day.
Fireman Ed is our unofficial mascot.
He takes his hat off, does this, and everybody goes.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I feel like a lot of football teams have a guy.
Does he ride in on a motorcycle too?
No.
Because half of them do.
Why are you saying that?
Yeah, you say that like you know all you guys.
I did a podcast recently where we went over a bunch of mascots.
Wow.
Vikings, they come in on a motorcycle.
There's this one.
He's had it.
He's done with one mascot where it's just like an old guy.
It's like it looks like Ebenezer Scrooge, but I don't.
It sounds like you're describing a dream.
But I'll tell you one thing.
The Jazz Bears, that bear does not look like a bear.
It looks like a koala.
Yeah.
Or maybe it's the sun bear.
Have you guys?
Well, have you seen the Jacksonville Jaguar has kind of like, he's like, yeah, pull this thing up.
That thing, look at that top left one.
Top left.
That's a fucking koala.
Bro, that looks like a bad bear.
That's not a jazz bear.
That does not look like a no, take that thing away from the kids, bro.
I was about to say, oh, no, he's got a baby.
That's a pedophile bear, bro.
Oh, yeah.
That's literally Japan has great jobs.
Jazz Bears That Are Koalas00:04:54
I'm tricky when that picture came up.
Japan does have great bears.
Like there's like city mascots in Japan.
If you Google Melon Bear, oh, yeah, city mascots.
I'm a cheetan.
Melon Bear.
Beron Kuma.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it eats children.
That thing's a nightmare.
It's fucking terrifying.
It's still cute.
Oh, not there.
Never mind.
I went to like, I was in like Akihabada a few years ago.
Yeah.
Horrifying.
It's the funniest.
I feel everybody wants like a photo of it like that.
You know, like you can buy like a mystery bag at like a store.
And I bought a mystery bag and it had a big melon bear pillow.
And then I was like, what's this?
And then I looked it up and was then horrified.
But then that became my favorite thing.
Yes.
Because I didn't choose my team.
He does not even represent a sport.
What's he?
Gets it.
Uh, I don't, he gets it.
I remember the old guy, look up Deacon mascot.
Oh yeah, look up uh, mascot.
Oh, the demon Deacons, demon Deacon.
Look up that mascot.
It's like the fighting Irish's, like bizarre world trend twin.
Maybe the demon.
Look him up.
D demon deacon mascot.
This is the most marked episode we've had.
It's awesome.
No, I love, I love watching this motherfucker.
This is, this is Ebenezer Scrooge.
Oh, what that guy looks like.
He should be on a peanut.
They just and he comes out on a motorcycle.
See what i'm talking about.
They all come out on motorcycles, full art.
He's doing the fighting Irish.
I mean, look at him, this is an aristocrat that they have brought out on a motorcycle.
He's like historically, a villain in.
I was gonna go to that school.
I really wanted to go Wake Forest.
Uh oh, I didn't know what.
What school it was from Georgia.
We brought in mascots without context of who they were and we tried to guess their name.
Um man, why don't we do stuff like that?
I mean, I have a good one for you.
You ever heard of the San Diego banana slugs?
Yeah yeah oh, go yourself.
Well, only reason, I know it up.
I want to see it.
I don't know.
One of my friends in high school would wear their shirt, march shirt.
Pull up the SAN Diego bananas also.
I'm thinking of I don't even care, I just like making him work.
Yeah well, I was gonna say, while you're looking that, up the Georgia Bulldogs, they have a bulldog.
Oh yeah, I know this motherfucker wife bulldog.
Yeah, I know it constantly dies and they have to have a new one.
And that's insane too.
Same thing with the Texas Longhorns, they bring a longhorn into the stadium.
So will you were offended on the fact that I knew this guy.
We had a whole segment of the podcast talking about this motherfucker.
This guy is the worst.
He looks like an.
We didn't know he was.
Uh, we didn't know that when he first showed up.
Though yeah pull, pull back up marsh, take a look, take a look at that without and remove the context of it being a slug in you.
It looks like the claw, it looks like an alien.
Ruin the scale, because I know all these mascots.
It's got the mouth of a ninja turtle yeah, and like it's.
It's confusing.
Um, would you pull up?
That's gross.
A video, a youtube video, the Jacksonville Jaguar mascot.
This is a great mascot because he was a very normal mascot and then I think he might have taken ayahuasca in his personal life and he's gotten really experimental with how he shows up.
It looks like he's not wearing half of his costume.
He's not.
He just painted his body and put on a g-string.
Wait, why does he look like that?
I I think the real life person just took hallucinogens and really changed his whole vibe.
It would have been sick if they actually brought in a jaguar.
Um, as far as good mascots go, shout out to Albert and Alberta, the mascots of the Florida Gators.
They're not real gators, they're just people in gator costumes and they're cute.
Yeah, that's my home.
I think so.
I think your mascot needs to be badass.
I think if it's like some lame ass, like it sucks, like what's more badass than a jet?
We bring death around the fucking planet.
It literally sucks.
There is an Australian.
What has killed more people than jet?
Nuclear bombs, but who delivered the nuclear bomb?
Not a jet.
Is it B52 bomber or jet?
Different type of aircraft.
But listen.
Dude, he got you.
He got you.
There is actually literally a team in Australia that I got the merch of that has a B-52.
That's the long cat.
No, they have a B-52 bomber as their mascot.
Oh.
Which is, or not a B-52 bomber, a stealth plane, like a stealth jet, which I thought was really weird because they don't even make them in Australia.
And even the fucking Jets don't actually have a jet as their mascot, which always is rubbed me the arms.
How do you feel about the fact that the New York Knicks are named after pants?
Australian B-52 Bomber Mascot00:08:36
Knickerbockers.
I actually had this conversation with Cutie, and she like winced when I said knickerbocker.
Oh, because you got too close to the N word.
I got too close to the N-word.
And she had never heard the word.
That's funny.
Knickerbocker before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It sounds like a...
You do take a breath before saying it, though, to like prepare to make sure you don't fuck it up.
It's like the word...
Yeah.
Yeah, you got to do some enunciation.
Well, that's what people get weird when I say the N-word just because I don't say it a lot.
Sure.
But what I am going to say is a word that's going to lead you almost there, which is niggardly.
Yeah, you can't know.
Oh, yeah.
I've taken that out of my verb.
Okay.
Damn, we really.
We literally eliminated it.
Meaning it used to be in it.
Well, I never used it.
I never used it.
No, that's.
You got the other one that I just forgot about that word.
We literally eliminated it.
What did it mean?
You know another word.
It means cheap.
I've totally taken out of it.
It means cheap.
Okay, well, then that's probably a derivative word.
Doesn't sound like that.
I've completely eliminated reneg.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it depends on your accent.
It's not because I say reneg.
Yeah, re-neg.
No, no, no, no.
But like regionally, people say that word differently, I think.
Because I've heard people say renegade.
Can you look up the word that sounds like the N-word really quickly to make sure that I'm not going to say it, but I think it's, it means cheap, I think.
It's either cheap or stinging.
Well, reneg is like, is to take back something.
You're not going to tell you here.
Oh, I got it.
I got you.
Don't worry.
We can't have that on our browser.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's the etymology that I'm actually interested in because I think the etymology is also racist.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it is.
Okay.
Don't worry, guys.
I can say it.
Niggardly noun niggered is an adjective.
It's worse.
Yeah, it does look wrong.
It looks extra racist.
Like it's more racist than hard.
Because you're adding more racism on it.
This is wrong.
It feels like the root form of racism.
Okay.
Is an adjective meaning stingy or miserly?
Isn't it miserly fucked up too?
Like, well, also, the usage of A-R-D makes it sound like it's combining with the R slur, too.
Okay, well, that's just you're a child.
It just seems like a combo.
Like a flame retardant.
Yeah.
Some guy on 4chan invented this.
I didn't mean to call you a child.
Josh.
No, you want?
No, no.
Crazy.
The damage is related to this word and its racist etymology.
Well, okay, hold on.
I will say it.
Yeah.
It's 14th century.
Oh.
And it derives from the Middle English word meaning stingy, which is, again, I don't even know if I'm saying this right.
And also Middle English doesn't, I don't think it pronounces the way it looks.
Because I had to read Canterbury Tales in English class and we read it in like Middle English and then we read it in like the translated and that shit's weird.
Anyway, Nigon Nigon, which is probably derived, I don't like probably Wikipedia, but I guess we don't know.
Which is, we assume, is derived from two other words, also meaning stingy, namely old Norse.
No longer.
Oh, wait.
So it's not racist at all.
Well, it's from the 14th century, but I think it, I think it's like what's the old Norse word?
You want to give that a go?
I maybe don't.
Wait.
I want to see.
Where it shouldn't be, it's Nogger.
It is.
Let me read that.
There's letters on there that don't exist.
Yeah.
There's definitely a nasal.
That's just the sound of getting hit in the stomach.
Yeah.
It's just like.
But anyway.
Yeah, that just says.
But it could be one of those things where the modern N-word has a similar.
I don't know.
I remember because Donald Glover has like a joke about this in his stand-up.
And I remember looking it up.
I love that guy.
And I can't.
Yeah.
Same.
Yeah, it's an autocorrect joke because he goes, say it, iPhone.
And he goes, niggardly.
But what was I going to say?
This is turning into Comtown, dude.
I said good episode.
I think maybe they have diverging etymologies, but I don't know.
So maybe there's someone who's an expert who can explain.
What is the etymology of the N-word?
I don't want to look it up.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's not do it.
It's my people's pain.
It's crazy.
It's crazy that, like, it's someone who's always talking about how white people should say it.
I have never looked up the etymology of it.
Yeah.
I was kidding.
Well, I guess I'll never know.
I think it's...
Doesn't it have to do with just like all the Spanish words for black?
Well, that does make sense.
Maybe.
But, you know, like English is a hodgepodge.
Yeah.
So it's like, because like Spanish and French are all romance.
Yeah.
But then there's like German.
Got it.
You know, and then like English.
And apparently fucking Norse old Norse.
Spanish and French are romance.
German is just violent.
I don't even know if I don't even feel comfortable with you saying that.
And we're looking at a word that isn't the N-word.
But it's not even a word.
It doesn't even.
It's just not.
Well, yeah, because one of those things that doesn't even read like a word.
If you saw those letters together, you'd be like, oh, a cat walked on.
I read that perfectly.
It's pronounced like this.
Yeah.
Before we end the episode, though.
We have to read the Wikipedia sub-article called controversies about the word niggardly.
Yeah, we could do that.
This is relevant.
Okay.
I will say.
In the United States, there have been several controversies involving the misunderstanding of the word niggardly.
An adjective meaning stingy or miserly because of its phonetic similarity to the N-word with a hard R, which I'm, I don't know, I'm just choosing not to say.
An ethnic slur.
Kendrick said I can't.
That's a joke.
An ethnic slur used against black people, although the two words are etymologically unrelated.
Yeah.
I remember correctly.
Yeah, because that comes from the word nager, which is totally separate.
Yeah.
Apparently, yeah, this word niggardly arose in the Middle Ages, predates the N-word, which is from the 18th century.
Oh, you know, you know, some kids going to high school tomorrow, and he's going to be like, well, actually, they're not related.
Yeah.
Well, actually, the etymology doesn't line up for me.
I feel insist.
I feel like it literally, we actually stopped, like, it wasn't a word that was like used that much.
I've never heard anyone say it.
No, but I remember that this was like by the time I was like studying for the SATs, I think like that's when the word was like, we're done with that word.
Oh my God, guys.
I know we have to end.
It goes deeper.
I have to tell you about the David Howard incident.
What's the David Howard incident?
America Me Up, baby.
On January 15th, 1999, David Howard.
The day before my birthday, an aide to the mayor of Washington, D.C., Anthony A. Williams, used, I'm going to stop saying the word.
I'm tired of saying it.
Used the word that's not the N-word in reference to a budget.
This apparently upset one of his black colleagues who misinterpreted it as a racial slur and lodged a complaint.
As a result, 10 days later, he tendered his resignation and Williams accepted it.
After public pressure, an internal review into the matter was brought and the mayor offered Howard the chance to return to his position.
The mayor got involved.
Yeah.
Howard refused, but accepted another position, insisting that he did not feel victimized by the incident.
On the contrary, Howard felt that he had learned from the situation.
Damn, that's the kind of politician.
This is a great lesson.
Hold on.
This is a quote from the guy who resigned from his position after using a word that wasn't the N-word.
But this is interesting.
I used to think it would be great if we could all be colorblind.
That's naive, especially for a white person, because a white person can afford to be colorblind.
They don't have to think about race every day.
Bro, this is the most politician in America.
Yeah, it's 1999, and he didn't.
Bro, nowadays, if you say it, they're like, oh, you're hired, actually.
They're like, oh, let's make you the head of the RNC or something.
Wow.
Damn.
Oh, Jesus.
Cheese Ball Man Tradition00:06:34
Wow, bro.
You know, I would say to stay away from the word because of all the obvious reasons.
Yes.
I'm a little peeved about something.
All right.
Tell us.
And it has nothing to do with what we were talking about.
All this Ted's rant about the N-word.
White people.
Black people say it all.
It was just, you know, we were talking about football for so long and I had an opportunity to put this in, but I know we're ending the podcast soon, but I just wanted to talk about it.
I watched Australian football when I was in Australia, and I think that you would love that shit.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
They dribbled the ball.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
You know, I just thought, I just wanted to talk about Australian football with Will, but Hassan just kept interrupting me the whole time.
And he kept trying to say like the half-N-word.
All right.
We had to go at some point.
The podcast is actually an hour and 45 minutes, but we had to cut all the time.
There is one more topic I just wanted to bring up for a second.
Okay.
Can I talk?
Well, if we got time, can I talk about it for a second?
We plan to talk about it, and you brought it up.
Oh, the cheeseball guy.
Have you seen Cheese Ball Man yet?
Yeah, he's doing the same thing that the Rotisserie Chicken Man did.
That is true.
And that's a deep cut, even though it's like a year ago the guy did that.
The Rotisserie Chicken guy good.
He did that at a fear.
He did that at a fear.
He walked so that Cheese Ball Man could run.
Yeah, honestly, I'm surprised how well Cheese Ball Man.
They must have had like some serious boots on the ground to get all those flyers out.
For those of you at home who don't know who Cheese Ball Man is, Cheese Ball Man is an anonymous hero who in Lincoln Square Park put up flyers everywhere around leading up to the day of him eating an entire tub of cheese balls to a crowd of hundreds.
Now, the shocking thing is he's lactose in tall.
So the event was brutal.
Wait, really?
I don't think those cheese balls actually have real cheese in them.
Well, I don't know.
But anyway, he wears a orange balaclava and a cape.
And let me just say, people love him.
And people are already looking forward to Cheese Ball Man's return next year on the same day.
Honestly, those fingers are probably not going to be cleaned until next year.
You know, what's crazy, too, is that after saying that, I'm so content-brained that I was like, that would have been a great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Look this up because this is a commercial that's going to blow your fucking YouTuber wants more.
It's to be able to do some sort of social experiment thing and then be able to open the video with fucking newsreels talking about this.
Yeah.
Look up.
Look up Dorito's Glory.
I almost did something.
Jarvis, you are sweating darts right now.
I'm a really easy sweater.
I talk about this a lot.
I have hyperhydrosis.
Shout out.
I just sweat up.
There are literally dozens.
Pause it, pause it, pause it.
Okay.
Here, I want to show you this in honor of Cheese Ball Man here.
This is a real Dorito Uzaid from Australia.
So it's combining everyone's interests here.
Touchdown.
Yeah, it only works with Doritos.
Why only Doritos?
Why only Dorito questions, Billy?
Oh, no.
You.
Oh.
That's so gross.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
That's what Cheese Ball Man needs.
The Doritos Glory Hole.
Yeah.
Gentlemen, the theme of today's episode was tradition.
No, the theme of today's episode is no girls, which also goes along with tradition.
I feel like I didn't get to talk about a stream far enough, though.
The theme of today's episode was tradition.
And much like Pinto Ron or Cheese Ball Man or words that we choose not to use anymore, Fear End has become a tradition for us, and we really enjoy bringing it to you.
And this episode has been a delight.
Thank you to our guests.
Guests, you have anything you want to shout out other than Australian League?
So it's a circular field, okay?
It's a circular field.
They're all the guys on the field, huge thighs.
They run for probably average 15 miles per game.
They run and they have to dribble the ball if they run too far.
But then also, there's four poles: one points on the sides, six points in the middle.
They got to hit it through.
They're running like the whole time, but the field's also circular.
And they've got pretty solid beer there.
It was like 90,000.
Person stadium session.
That was where I was.
I mean, I wasn't involved on the field.
I was mostly involved in the positions, and that's where my game was.
But I don't know, AFL.
It's not like rugby, and it's not like American football.
It's like their own thing.
If you didn't live there, you wouldn't fucking know it existed.
Anything?
Just want to shout out my podcast, Sad Boys.
We've had episodes with Hassan.
We've had episodes with Ted.
We've got to have one with you soon.
Don't even bring that up.
You've been on Chuckle Sandwich.
I have not.
Yeah, yeah.
See, this is funny.
So you're mad about not going on Sad Boys.
This one's been bitching to me for six months about not coming back on Truckle Sandwich.
He wants to shoot and kill me.
Look at him.
He's using, he's waving that gun.
And that might be my blood pressure.
That's why I'm sweating.
Every time you wave that around.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, that's it for this week.
Very special episode with Cutie Cinderella and I behind the paywall.
Thank you for everything, and we'll see you next time.
All right, Michael.
Let's hear Michael's voice now.
Here we go.
Hello, Austin and guests, potentially.
All right.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you, Michael.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what's the best way to do that and also what the best way to approach someone who I don't already know women in this case as a man.
But to do that respectfully without being creepy.
Oh, fuck.
So yeah.
Yeah.
I know you have a lot of expertise in the field, so let me know what you think.
All right.
Thank you.
Well, Michael, you would be wrong.
I have not approached a woman really ever.
And Marsh said we thought Will would be here, and that would be true.
And, you know, we're learning.
This is on the fly advice with Austin Show.
Sometimes Austin's show has shitty advice.
And this may be one of those particular situations.