Fanfan, a former UC Berkeley biochemistry student with a 96 GPA, joins hosts to critique Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department and discuss the impossible 55,000-person crowd at her JoJo Siwa show. They mock the 1986 Cleveland Balloon Fest's 1.5 million balloons causing injuries and pollution, while reacting to robot wheelchair malfunctions at Miami International Airport. The episode concludes with debates on Angel Reese's draft potential, Ryan Garcia's weight-cutting conspiracy theories, and Freudian foot fetish analysis, ultimately highlighting the absurdity of modern celebrity culture and public spectacles. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome to Fear End00:02:23
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fear End.
We've had a lot of caffeine and quite a bit of cake today, but we are excited to bring you another quality episode.
I feel like dog ass.
You do feel like dog ass, but we have a guest today with us.
We have fan fan.
Yay!
So happy to have you, fan fan.
Thank you so much.
For those in the audience who might not know who you are, what do you do?
Go fire it off.
Jesus Christ.
Is that a bad way to talk to a guest?
I feel like that's what I do.
I just kind of sound like you were having a stroke, too.
You lie for a long time.
I feel like you were talking to me.
You fucking shit.
Just go ahead and shoot.
Sorry, I am so invested in this little Hulk toy.
I have non-stop Armstrong.
Yeah.
He's so squishy.
Mine was sticky, though.
I don't know why.
Well, Hassan touched it first.
I touched it first.
This one's not that sticky.
Female today.
Go ahead, fan fan.
Tell us about yourself.
Tell the audience.
Tell the fear and audience.
Yeah.
If they don't know you, what the fuck they're missing.
You're not missing much, to be honest.
Okay, come on.
Sell yourself a little bit more than that.
Come on, we need more.
I think recently you're not missing much.
I've been too addicted to GTA RPs.
Okay, what are the highlights besides recently that maybe they're missing?
Oh, fuck.
I don't think I've done anything much.
She's humble, but she's incredible.
She's the best there is.
Austin, describe it.
You describe to the audience what she does.
Go ahead.
I'll go ahead.
I got it.
No, hold on.
You know what?
No, hold on.
You know what?
Fan fan and I go way back, right, fan fan?
Oh, yeah.
Will was just about to he's more articulate than I am.
Take the reins on this one.
You were so excited.
Hold on.
Now, as everybody knows, it's the fan fan incredible vocalist.
You just found out before we started GTARP.
She just mentioned that.
Oh, come on, guys.
Now, Twitch streamer, YouTube, cutting down, putting the videos on YouTube.
That's right.
Cutting it into shorts, putting into TikToks, Instagram.
You have an Instagram, posting photos.
You have a...
In my defense, fan fan, I found out you were coming on about three to five minutes ago.
You have a very interesting accolade, too.
You might be the smartest Twitch streamer.
Why?
Taylor Swift's 55,000 Crowd00:15:19
How?
You were in the schooled.
And you cleaned up.
I feel like that doesn't really.
Well, you didn't get a strike the entire time.
Awesome.
Valedictorian.
You cheated?
Yeah, using the legal cheats.
Oh.
The copy.
But you didn't get a single question wrong in the entirety of your run on schooled.
Yeah, because I peaked in high school.
That's why.
They were all like the high school.
That makes sense.
What was your grade point average in high school?
96.
90.
Freaking vain.
Canadian.
Canadian.
Metrics.
Connecticut.
Oh.
Connecticut.
Oh.
UConn?
No, no, no.
This was high school.
I graduated.
You went to high school in Connecticut with 2.8.
It was 96.
Yeah.
Where'd you go?
UC Berkeley.
That's nerdy as hell.
What do you mean?
That's why I peaked in high school.
Freaking nerd.
Would you study in college?
Biochem.
Ew, dude.
What's that?
She's very humble, but you probably are the smartest.
Fell off after I'd gone to college, pretty much.
So you're a smart person.
Who's the dumbest person in the room?
I don't know, actually.
I feel like you have to be somewhat smart to understand why.
Why would you ask this question when the answer may upset you?
No, because like, okay, here, I was.
He thinks he.
Hey, I'm not the one at my computer fucking 12 hours a day, not living my life.
That's right.
I'm up and I'm at the fucking street.
I'm at the fucking beach.
Okay.
Yeah, Beach Smarts.
Beach and Street.
I have come up with a bunch of topics.
I've got tons too.
I'm going to take the wheel.
Okay, take it.
First topic.
He's literally chomping at the bet.
How was Pride World tour?
Oh my God.
Pride World tour was amazing.
Although it came to a screeching halt.
I went to this gay bar called Twist.
I'm straight now.
Okay.
No, no, I had this amazing weekend planned for Pride World Tour.
I got a hotel.
I stayed at the Ritz Carlton.
Oh, shit.
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
I stayed at the Ritz Carlton.
I went to Pride, by the way, in Miami.
I'm just filling you in.
Yes.
Just so you know, not enough that they got a fuck a month.
They're doing it outside of the month.
The weather, the weather was too much.
Had to go early April.
South Beach, Pride.
Went to Pride, had a whole weekend planned.
Ritz, Carlton, South Beach.
Okay.
Twinks.
Streets.
The whole shebang.
On deck.
Yeah.
Everywhere.
Yeah.
Every photos.
Yeah.
Right.
Everywhere.
Now.
Wait, is Twinks like a place?
Or do you mean like Twinks like little gay people?
Little gay people.
The cute ones.
Wait, what?
Like the what?
The cute ones.
Oh, okay.
I mean, yes, yes.
They're all cute.
Cute.
Yeah, but yes.
Beautiful and natural.
Beautiful and natural.
Tiny people.
Yes.
Little people.
So I'm like, okay, great.
I Friday night, it was Saturday was supposed to be the big night into Sunday.
I was going to, because I can't drink three dice in a row.
It's too much.
So Friday, I was preparing.
I got a spray tan.
Yes.
It's faded since then.
I got ready.
Saturday was the big day.
I went to this club called Twist, but I didn't want to wait in London.
I was in Jersey Shore.
They went to Twist on Jersey Shore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he doesn't watch reality TV, by the way.
I watched it online about it.
Bish.
Again, I stand corrected.
So I'm like, I don't want to wait in this line.
It's an hour and a half.
So I go, I'm like, where's the VIP host?
Let me talk to him.
He's like, tables.
I'm like, what do you got for tables?
He's like, $2,000 for the top table.
I was like, damn, that's not anything.
I don't want to pay that much.
I don't want to pay that much.
That's ridiculous.
I don't want to sit at the table.
I want to roam around.
So I'm like, how can I get in?
And I had two friends with me.
I'm like, how can we get in?
You don't want to pay two grand for the table?
No, because I don't want to sit at the table.
That's boring.
I want to walk around.
I want to mingle.
I want to people watch.
He wants to be.
No, he wants to be in with the people.
Yeah, I want to be with the people.
So it's $100.
So he's like, $100 a head bar minimum to get in.
Sure.
So $300.
Perfect.
Done.
Give him my card.
Here's your bartender.
I meet him.
Miguel is a fantastic bartender.
We go meet him.
He's like, you know, come to me for your drinks.
I thought $300 was unlimited.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I got biblically fucked up beyond belief.
I was like, I was buying people shots and whatever.
My bill was $900 at the end of the night because I was buying everybody drinks.
And the guy that was with me thought it was an open tab too.
And he was buying himself and me.
We were buying everybody drinks.
So like $900 at the end of the night.
I woke up puking.
It was awful.
But I rallied and I went to Pride.
I saw Jojo or Jojo Seward perform.
She alleged 55,000 people.
What?
No.
500, like maybe 5,000 people max.
Well, twinks are very small.
Right.
Yeah.
In compound.
But that was my Pride weekend.
Nothing else really interesting happened other than getting hungover.
That's crazy that Jojo performed at Pride.
Yeah.
Yeah, but she said it was 50.
That's an I was going to call her out on the podcast.
Yeah, I'm calling her out.
Jojo, there wasn't 55,000 people there.
She claimed the entire where did she claim that?
She literally, she's like, she said on her Facebook post, she says, Facebook.
Or Instagram.
Oh.
She Instagram posts.
I performed to 55,000 people at Pride, all of them singing my song in unison.
And I'm like, I wasn't knowing.
Like, number one, I wasn't singing.
No, you couldn't even fit.
There wasn't even 55,000 people in a three-mile radius.
Gays do love a messy bitch, though.
So that's like pretty.
That's the funny thing is the gays wanted to hate her, but now they have to kind of accept her.
No, they're not.
They're tearing her down.
Really?
Tearing her.
They're tearing her to shreds.
And I'm not that way, but there were 55,000 people.
Got it.
You know what I mean?
You're just for clarity.
Performance was great.
Awesome.
55,000 people.
She was live or was she lip singing?
I honestly, you know what?
I wasn't even fucking there.
I left 30 minutes early.
Oh, my God.
I left 30 minutes early.
That Austin show goes definitely worth 55,000 people.
I know I was there prior.
Yeah, but maybe as soon as I'm going to be able to do it.
I was actually air.
But in my defense, are 47,000 people going to show up in 30 minutes?
No.
Exactly.
There was 3,000 people max, unless they were all hiding in the parking garage.
There's no way 47,000 people showed up.
You couldn't even fit 47,000 people in that mosh pit.
The fire marshal would have showed up.
Shut the whole fucking thing down.
Anyway.
Are you a Judge of Siwa's fan?
No.
Okay.
I'm not.
Any thoughts or feelings?
She's kind of weird.
That's all my feelings.
I do think that she's going to have like a Rebecca Black style effect on the gays because they do love cringe campy shit.
Yeah.
That was Austin's.
What's your biggest performance?
I think.
Well, that was a big musical performance.
I still want to have JoJo Siwa on the podcast.
No, her performance was wonderful.
Jojo, 55 people.
I would tell her there weren't 55,000 people there.
That wasn't the only big musical thing to happen.
Oh, my God.
Here was a lot of fun.
She's overshadowing fan fans.
No, I did my research on my way over here.
This has been coming up.
This has been coming up for some time.
There we go.
48 hours.
I've been locked in.
The twisted poetry moment.
Nope.
Holding myself.
Holding myself back every time I see Cutie, trying not to talk to her about this.
This is going to be the most miserable next 30 minutes.
With these 30, try an hour.
Okay.
So listen, folks.
I feel like we're at a time where Hassan and my commentary on this issue isn't very important.
We don't really know the players.
We can't give a meaningful critique.
However, there was an article that came out in, it looks like Paced Magazine by the Paced staff.
Now, this is interesting.
They didn't assign a name.
Normally, a big article like this obviously would come with a byline because you want to make sure that people know, like, this is a big article.
This is a big review from this magazine.
Now, the way that I thought we could do this.
Now, this article doesn't have an author.
I'm not reading it.
Because it was serious.
3.6 out of 10.
No, I didn't plan for you.
Okay, good.
Austin Show is going to win this review.
Because you think it's going to...
And we're just going to react to it.
It's so funny because this is going to get clipped out of context and they're going to think that I'm going to get destroyed by Swifties.
Do we want fanfan to read the article then?
No, I'll read it.
No, this is good TikTok bait for you.
All right, here we go.
Swift is the most famous musician and arguably person on earth.
But on her latest album, she can't help but infantilize the very people who buy into her music and drive her successes upwards in the first place.
Infantilize.
Okay, Austin, I feel like that's too rough to say.
Make them children.
Okay.
Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this.
When Taylor Swift took the Grammys stage last month to claim her award for best pop vocal album for Midnights, she saw that spotlight as an opportunity to announce her 11th studio album, The Tortured Poets Department.
The follow-up cut to audience members, Swift Music Industry Peers, mind you, told us that we would ever need to know.
And the collective disinterest across the crowd echoed through our TVs.
Folks from all walks of life took to social media to express a multitude of reactions.
Swifties clamored to their beloved monarch's forthcoming era, while others lambasted the terminally cringe title and artwork and ridiculed Swift for making a night recognizing musical achievements across an entire industry about herself, knowing perfectly well that it would send her fan base into a surge that would no doubt overpower the excitement around the ceremony itself.
Quite a few people question.
Okay, okay, you're burning through this.
Let's just analyze.
I'm reading it.
No, no, I know, I know, but like, you know, take, let's take a breath for a second.
It doesn't seem like this person likes Taylor Swift.
They're really good at in-depth analysis.
I don't think that they're going to like the music that comes out.
I don't think so.
It seems like they seem to be a little bit maybe critical before.
I think they maybe were going to hate no matter what it was.
Yeah, they're sipping on the hater rate even before the music.
If they're talking about how Taylor made the night all about herself, which, by the way, she kind of did.
I have no idea.
Oh, really?
Don't be a coward.
You're the one who wanted to read the paper.
I'm going to defend.
I thought it would be interesting content.
Point counterpoint.
I'm going to be brave and defend Taylor Swift.
Okay.
And say, I think it is.
And say, no matter what she did, it would all be about her anyway.
And no matter what she says, she just exists.
It's all about her, and people are going to criticize her for it.
You know what I mean?
Okay, imagine being the most famous woman on the planet.
Judy, is there a way to eat Taylor harder than Austin just did?
I don't know.
Can you show us?
Eat her harder.
What do you mean, like, stand up for more?
Fucking.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
I don't.
I don't know how much of an archetype I want to be painted as right now.
I think, I think, essentially, Austin's right.
This just does sound like a hater.
At the end of the day, like, all the hatred about this album is kind of like, okay, then don't listen to it.
I think she don't fucking listen to it.
I think she was set up for failure, right?
Why?
Oh, Austin.
No, she was.
Dig in.
Wait, set up for failure.
She was set up for failure.
No matter what she put out, everybody was waiting to hate her.
I mean, yeah, she is the most famous person.
She's the most.
If it was anything short of like the best thing that mankind has ever seen, they were waiting to hate.
They were full of hate.
Do you want to read more?
Sure.
When you said set up for failure, it almost sounded like you were saying the album was a failure.
No, no, no, no.
I listened to it the entire flight over here.
Oh, really?
What's your favorite song?
I fell asleep about halfway through.
What's your favorite song?
I was tired.
I was like, what was your favorite song?
The Tortured Poets.
That's the name of the album in one song.
I like it.
The first one.
Fortnite or Daddy.
That's the one.
I don't know song titles.
You stole that one from me.
I don't know song titles.
Well, I have an actual favorite song.
I can't.
I lost your.
I have so many favorite songs.
Do you not want to speak about it?
No, I have to.
I have a lot of songs.
Okay.
One.
Let's talk about bars.
Okay.
Lyricism.
Out of control.
Tattooed Golden Retriever line.
I teared up when I thought about Maddie Healy as a tattooed golden retriever.
Let's go back to the 1830s, but without the racism, Taylor Swift, anti-racist icon.
How can she push the needle further?
Did she have to specify without the racism?
She did.
Specify in the lyrics.
Why did she say what about the homophobia?
Do we want to read a little bit more?
1830s were particularly free.
Fan fan, go ahead.
I have another section.
These are not my takes.
This is just an article.
There is nothing poetic about a billionaire who, mind you, threatens legal action against a Twitter account for tracking her destructive private jet paths.
Oh, shut up.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Fuck this person.
No, I think it just sounds like a hater, to be honest.
Why don't you walk to New York City, you fucking commercial air travel is so inexpensive.
Go ahead.
Okay, telling stadiums of thousands of people every night that she sees and adores them.
Tavvi Gevinson says it well in her fan fiction Zine.
When 800,000, when 80,000 people are also crying, you become less special too.
If Swift can return to one of her dozen beach houses across the world, kick up her feet and say, I'm a poet of struggle, then who is to say that millions, maybe billions of people with access to a notes app and a social media account won't dream that dream too.
Maybe, like, this person needs to go fuck themselves.
Oh my God, Austin, this person is missing.
This person's a miserable fuck, and I think they're miserable at fucking parties.
Yeah.
And they wish they were fucking Taylor Swift.
They wish they were on a private game.
You give them a billion dollars and look what they do.
For the remainder of this episode, we're going to look through all of the Pace magazine pros to identify exactly who this writer is, judging by their writing style.
And then for the remainder, we are going to this person.
It's not it's already been done.
Bleep and bleep on both of those when I say that.
We're doing this for cutie.
And more importantly, we're doing this for Taylor Swift.
And more importantly, we're doing this for women, more importantly, white women in particular.
That's who we're doing this for.
This is a podcast where we have declared our allegiance to women.
And that's why we're going to do it.
We are pro-white women.
All jokes aside, I feel like, Cutie, you've been noticeably absent from the conversation.
And I would love to hear your perspective genuinely from the perspective of a Taylor Swift fan is Swifty.
For the record, let the record show.
Cutie is speaking.
Please have the flip for everybody in the comments section.
Cutie has spoken.
She's speaking.
I think, I mean, I think there's been a lot of, I think there's been a lot of hate.
I think it is kind of Austin's argument where she's the most famous she's ever been.
So she's going to have the most fans and she's also going to have the most haters she's ever had.
The Hottest Take on Swifty00:07:23
And people, you know, and also every single year that goes by, people are more and more vocal about their own opinions online.
Every single, like, think people are so vocal about even Beyonce's album, you know, like Beyonce's Levi Jean song was some of the cringiest writing I've ever seen.
Also, like, but that's the thing about.
We stand with a Bayhive.
I mean, I love Beyonce.
Cutie Cinderella's opinions do not reflect the residue of her audience.
I love Beyonce.
I love Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift has, this is the thing.
This is the funny thing that everyone thinks.
They're like, got her.
She has a cringy line.
Bitch, she's always had cringy lines.
She literally always has.
Cutie Cinderella's opinions reflect only hers.
We do not think Taylor Swift, we do not endorse the idea that Twitter has ever had cringy lines.
Never.
In Gorgeous, when she's like, I'm just going to stumble on home drunk to my cats.
That's cringe.
In me, spelling is fun.
That's cringe.
In like karma, like a lot of karma is cringe.
Like, and that's okay.
She has cringy lines.
And so for all of these haters using this album as a gotcha, the Swifties don't fucking care.
She's always had lines like that.
They definitely care.
Well, I think, I mean, I think there's, I don't think it's worth arguing at the end of the day because if people, you're not going to, I'm never going to change your guys's minds.
No, I have no opinion.
I actually think that this article is way over.
Oh, scathing.
I do.
Because I'll be honest, I don't know if this is one author.
This felt like a room full of women.
It felt like a Reddit.
It felt like a burn book.
The lack of way worse.
The lack of self-awareness of this writer.
I still want to hear more.
I still want to hear more lines from them.
But I do agree.
I think that it actually is a little bit so overboard that it ends up vindicating Swifty's in a way because it's like, oh, you don't have anything, so you're hating.
What is, in my opinion, more scathing is to call the album mid or not as well performing as other Taylor albums.
Plath did not put her head in an oven for this was kind of wild.
That was, that was worse.
We'll put up in an we have many topics to cover.
I don't want to go at length, but just out of 10.
What would you give this album?
This is the thing: I don't believe this album, and this might be my craziest take.
I don't believe it was made to convert.
I don't think it was made to convert the general public into Swifties.
I think it was quite literally an album made for Swifties that just felt like a here's an update.
Like, here's an update.
This is what I've felt for the past two years.
There you go.
Like, consume it or not, Taylor's at a point of fame where she could literally fart on a track and all of us would sit there and be like, What did she eat for lunch?
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Also, bars, curiosity.
That would be good.
She could.
Did you make that up?
Yeah.
Wow.
That was very insane.
Better writing than what I saw on this album.
It's not true.
It's just, it's simply not true.
Go listen to The Smallest Man Alive, I assure you.
You might find some similarities about yourself.
Anyway.
Jesus Christ.
I think there was like, I think it's a good album overall, but I really don't think it's a general masses album.
Out of 10.
It for me is similar.
Midnights, Midnights wasn't my favorite album either.
I'm going to give it like a seven.
A seven.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
But like folklore and Evermore are like a nine and a ten for me.
And Reputation is like a nine or a ten for me.
So it did.
This is the overall assessment I got from Swifties that it was that it I think Taylor is too hot right now.
Yeah.
She's too hot and she needed to she needed to cool down before she like she had two options at this point.
She's at the peak of her career.
She's popping off.
She's the it girl.
Everyone can't stop talking about her.
There's like Spotify is doing a mass blast.
It's got like Kim Jong-un vibes a little bit almost at this stage where it's like you you you pray to the altar of Taylor Swift in some ways.
And let's just compare Taylor Swift to Kim Jong-un.
I'm talking about just like the Marxist Leninist Jushaist on our Reality, which is why I don't know what's going on.
I would point out, and you can correct me if I'm wrong.
Reputation was received initially with very critical research.
Yeah, people hated Reputation.
And then it grew on people.
Yes.
So could Tortured Poet Society maybe have one of those kind of building snowball effects?
I mean, I think her music does a lot because I think what happens is you sit there and you listen for the lyrics.
And even me, some of my least favorite songs on my first listen through, all of a sudden they're in the background.
And I'm like, wait a second, this is a bop.
Like, I don't like Down Bad, but now I'm listening to it.
And I was like, oh, wait.
Wait a second.
Like, that's a song that I'd play in the club.
So let the record show.
I gave you the floor and I did my research.
Not bad.
Not bad.
I have more.
I know this is going to be.
Hassan, let's circle back because we have a lot of things to cover.
A lengthy, a lengthy topic.
However, I think overall, this is my hottest Taylor Swift take that I think you guys will agree with, not even out of Swifty.
I think some Swifties will agree with this is the hottest take.
So this might even make Swifties mad is I think Taylor Swift has done herself a disservice with her vault tracks.
She always releases these vault tracks and some should stay in the vault.
Even with the 31 songs that she released, I don't believe all of them needed to be released.
She's valued quality or quantity more than quality.
Yeah, and they're still good and I'm happy to have them.
But that's why, like, I think from a Swifty perspective, I am happy to have them, right?
But from a judgmental yapper, they're like, too many songs when I write sounds like shit.
They all sound the same whenever I want to write a little bit, but you don't care.
So it's like, but how does she balance that?
Like, does she need a fucking Patreon where she releases her vault tracks?
Like, if she wants to share them with her.
I think it's like a main channel versus VOD's channel.
Yeah, kind of.
Like, if she wants to share them with her fans, her fans are happy to have them.
Yeah.
But it does add another narrative to consumerism of people being like, God, she's writing so much, right?
You know what?
You know what she needs to do?
She just needs to do it for herself.
I think that's what this album was.
I really did.
And she's so famous.
What else does she have to accomplish?
But she can't make other people happy.
She's got to make herself happy.
Yeah.
So I think that's what it was.
I don't know.
I feel like it maxed out on the on the on the clout end, I think, for this album and the way that it was released.
And I, I feel like it was, I mean, it's like making her fan.
It's win-win.
It's making her fans happy.
They want to update.
And also, yeah, it's a really good capital.
It really is.
It's making our fans that happy.
It's an update after two years.
And it's also kind of capitalizing on like the peak of the Swifty era.
That's why I said, like, I think she's too hot and needed a cool down to like come back with at least a couple bops in there.
I don't know.
I felt like this didn't.
It's a good business move, but like not like an artist move.
That makes sense.
Good business move.
All right.
I have something to tell you.
Tell.
But you, but do you have something better?
No.
I don't even know what the thing is.
A Good Business Move00:05:34
Somebody told me we have talked many times about self-sucking on this podcast.
Oh my God, Tanner.
Oh my God, Tanner.
You and I both know.
Oh my God.
I watched that whole video of him.
We have a friend in common.
Is that the Hasanabi head?
Yeah, there's a Hasanabi head porn star, Tanner Reed, who self-sucks.
And then he came in as much.
He's done it many times.
He's a you and I both.
He I've anyway, God, holy shit.
Small world.
It's a small world.
Small world.
Anyway, yeah, very, very large.
Anyway, this completely separate.
I was talking to a firefighter this past weekend.
Okay.
Retired firefighter.
I love how this is going to come out.
And he was, and I was in, I was in like the South.
So he had country accent talking like this, you know.
I'm not going to do that.
Why don't you get the head of your dick in your mouth unless it's easy?
Yeah.
So he's telling me, he's talking, and I'm like, tell me your wildest stories as a firefighter.
He's like, well, as a firefighter, we had to respond to a lot of things.
And sometimes when we get there, they're already gone.
I'm like, oh, okay, interesting.
So he tells me this story about, he's like, yeah, man, we rolled up on this fella right here.
And he had both legs all the way up in the air.
Oh, God.
And there was a, and what had happened is he was butt naked, legs up in the air.
The guy, in the effort to suck his own dick, they literally found a jar of peanut butter with his penis in it, like a penis imprint in it.
He tried to suck his own dick, cut off his airway, passed out, and died.
He gagged on his own.
No, he didn't choke on his own penis.
He, because he was trying so hard, he, he, he, he shut off his airway, passed out, and because of the position he was in, he actually died of a self-suck incident.
And I had to share this with you because I, we used to joke about it, but evidently it has happened in real life.
Thank you for this PSA.
No, I have to take it.
As a self-suck celebrity myself, there are so many young people out there that want to be like me.
They want to self-suck.
They want to emulate what I do.
It's dangerous.
And I'm just, I tell them, you know, like years of training, hot yoga, stretching.
Wow.
Air canal training.
I think that might be one of the worst things I've ever heard in my entire life.
It's true.
And it's true.
The guy, I didn't even, he doesn't know who I am.
He doesn't know what I do.
He doesn't know about a podcast.
So he's found death.
Yeah.
Legs up in the air, everything, just like this.
He cut off his airway.
Wow.
He finally, he achieved his goal.
And I don't think, I don't know if I should have asked if there was come.
He died doing what he loved.
Yeah, he didn't even finish.
I really wanted to respect his memory, but I had to know.
Did he finish?
Well, I asked him.
I was like, did they, what did they write down in the report?
Cause of death.
Yeah.
And I was like, did they, I don't think that they.
Asphyxiation, probably.
Yes, they wrote down asphyxiation.
Yeah, I don't know.
But anyway, I had to share.
A lot of people die of autoerotic asphyxiation.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's like not as something.
Wait, like choking somebody?
Belt.
No, belt.
A lot of people belt.
Belt and adore.
Yeah, and then it doesn't take it off in time.
Wait, wait, wait.
Like, are they, are they, is it somebody else involved?
I remember.
I think someone, someone knew that.
No, autoerotic asphyxiation.
Oh, that's like a lot of people.
I think we knew someone that girls.
Yeah.
Anyway, sorry, I had to share that.
Go ahead.
That's a great topic.
Yes, I had to share it.
That's a great topic.
That took me out of my body.
I had an out-of-body experience for a second.
That was like really.
I'm happy I could tell a good story.
I know Hassan wanted to bring up Maddie Healy.
Wait, Maddie Healy.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, okay, so we're back on Taylor Swift.
Yeah, I just don't.
I just want you to get it all out now.
I don't have to do this again.
Okay.
31 songs.
We thought that it was all going to be about Joe.
Joe Alwyn.
Yeah, we did think it was.
We thought it was Joe Alwyn.
I trusted you, QD.
I saw your PowerPoint.
There was so much information there.
Yeah, we were.
And to be fair, like, you know, they are both from England.
Well, we figured this out.
We figured something kind of fun out at the Taylor Swift pop-up because she had this song called My Boy Breaks His Favorite Toys.
And at the Taylor Swift pop-up was a broken typewriter.
It was a broken typewriter.
And on the bottom, it said number three.
And so song number three, My Boy Breaks His Favorite Toys.
And it's a broken typewriter.
And fucking Maddie Healy is a little cringy hipster.
And in multiple interviews, he's talked about like, yeah.
I carry a typewriter around wherever I go.
I just like the way it feels.
Yeah, there's a GQ interview that they resurfaced from six years ago when Maddie Healy is actually talking about how he's bragging about his typewriter.
He uses a typewriter.
He's not like the other girls.
Yeah.
Wow, you really hate Maddie Healy.
I don't.
I really don't.
I think it's funny, though.
I think, you know, carrying around a typewriter is kind of funny.
But as soon as that came out, everyone was like, wait a second, is this a Maddie Healy album?
And then you listen through it.
And sure fuck enough, she was ready to drag his ass.
So that's the question I had.
I'm ready.
It's a relationship that did not last that long.
How long did the relationship last?
It's been on and off again for 10 years.
Okay, but wait.
But the last iteration of the relationship was how long?
They've known each other for 10 years.
No, they've dated on and off for 10 years.
Part of, in an interview, one of his friends said that when Taylor Swift and Joe Alwin broke up, Taylor went and told Maddie as a birthday present.
That's how toxic their relationship was.
Balloon Fest in Cleveland00:13:17
Can you believe that?
That's awful.
Wow.
So Matty Healy, are we thinking he's slinging dick?
I don't know, right?
Because I feel like he doesn't have a lot of, like, I mean, friend of the show, by the way.
Sorry, Maddie, if you're watching.
He's not a friend of the show.
He doesn't know us.
He actually, unironically does.
Maddie, you don't know us.
I don't know who Maddie Healy is.
Neither do I.
Well, 1970.
Yeah.
What were you going to, you were going to say something?
Oh, I have more topics.
Oh, I'd love to hear them.
Okay.
Does anybody disagree with that?
Maddie Healy once DM'd me and said that I was hot.
So he is officially a designated friend of the show to a certain degree.
Nice.
Okay.
Well, I, by popular demand.
Oh, I do know Maddie Healy.
Okay, I just have brought back a segment that has been long dormant.
Billy Ravebrains, will you please pull up Balloon Fest 86?
Before that, you got to play Eagle Sound, though.
Yes.
So this is a segment called America Me Up.
Oh, my God.
Where I inform you guys about some of America's most glorious, most glamorous, incredible moments.
I love these guys.
It's exciting.
And some of its worst tragedies.
Oh, 9-11.
Balloon Fest 86.
That was an America Me Up moment, 9-11.
Amoon Fest 86 was an event in Cleveland, Ohio.
Oh, never mind.
On September 27th, 1986.
Yeah, I got the live discussion.
The local chapter of the United Way would attempt to set a world record by releasing 1.5 million balloons.
Now, before we get into this, what are your expectations of how this event went?
I think wasn't like the air cold and so they all went up and then fell back down and like suffocated a bunch of people.
Now you're aware of balloons.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure they saw it.
I thought it just killed a bunch of birds or something.
Well, it killed a lot of things.
Oh, really?
When I think of Balloon Fest over the Midwest, I think of China.
That's right.
And how they disrespected us with their balloon.
So they let off one point.
Tell us about it.
Wait, pull up a video, Marsh.
There's a video of news broadcasts.
Let's get one at the beginning of the day.
Were they trying to beat someone?
It is a world record for most balloons released.
Who were they trying to beat them?
They were trying to drum up pop support for Ohio, basically.
Like, look at Ohio.
Look at us.
We're a real city.
Here, we'll go live to the scene.
Square because this ain't the place for your car this weekend.
Back to you.
Sounds like fun, David.
I understand we might have a northerly wind, too, so they'll all wind up.
Now pause.
That will come back to haunt them.
Go ahead and play.
Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen, live.
This is awesome.
Can we pause it for a second?
This is the most popping day in Ohio.
Yes, this is.
Yeah, Ohio's never been supported.
Ohio was desperate to build their public support as like a popular, thriving city.
They just want some breath.
Now, the other thing that is rumored is that they used child labor to fill all these balloons.
They do love balloons.
Yes.
So children were forced to work around the clock filling balloons and basically working their tiny hands to the bone.
Go ahead, continue.
Let's take their breath.
I love this story.
Wait, sorry.
Can you pause it for a second?
Yeah.
I love this story because it is almost identical to LeBron James in the sense that like he brought so much joy to Ohio.
I'm never letting you eat cake before.
He brought so much joy to Ohio.
Like he put Ohio on his back and then left and it was a disaster.
So let's go ahead and brief moment of excitement followed by genuine catastrophe.
Cute.
Bunches of balloons she had tied to her watch.
Spoiler alert, she died.
But she's probably dead now.
Oh, she's tasted.
Yeah, after balloons.
John and I said, anybody finds Mary Allen's watch tied to a bunch of balloons like this, and if you return it to the station, we'll have all kinds of rewards for you.
Now, pause.
This is the coolest newscaster I've ever seen in my life.
I love it.
He's allowed to wear a suit.
He's Cleveland.
He wore a cutoff shirt with aviators.
Now, Marsh, can we please fast forward to the actual balloons?
Yes.
Thank you.
I love Mary.
Now, that is a net filled with 1.5 million balloons.
Holy shit.
How'd they count them?
Well, they had children.
Tallying them with an abacus.
Go ahead and let's watch the release.
It looks like a mushroom cloud.
It looks like a nuclear balloon.
Yeah, I don't like it.
Oh, he's really losing it.
Oh, my God.
It looks like a fucking extra.
It looks like it's a fucking fucking event.
It would be cool to be in this moment.
There was the moment that joy would soon turn to horror.
Wait, it was like immediate?
Because as previously mentioned, a Nor'easter brought in cold air and immediately began to force the balloons down.
Oh, my God.
Blanketing the highways and roads and causing multiple traffic collisions.
Oh, no.
Go ahead, play.
It looks like 9-11, but for Ohio.
Let's hear it for Cleveland.
Oh, no.
Cleveland!
There is no mistake on the lake anymore.
Cleveland!
Okay, pause.
This was another ill-fated thing to say.
There is no mistake on the lake.
There would be a mistake on the lake.
Oh, my God.
Because because of those same winds, boaters would need the help of the Coast Guard, which they were unable to receive.
And multiple boaters would drown as a result of balloon fast 86.
Okay, this is only heightening the mistake on the lake monitor.
Wait, wait, okay, wait, okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay, keep going.
When does it start to get bad?
It's already bad.
The chaos is insane.
You see how the balloons are immediately coming down already?
Do they start to recognize it on the broadcast?
Okay, they look like locusts.
That's weird.
It doesn't even look pretty.
How many events can we take over in 1986?
It just seems like they're so desperate for.
Well, and how does any plan?
Like, what was their plan with planes?
There was no plan.
Yeah.
See how the balloons are plummeting to the earth?
Oh my God.
I think the kids fucked up.
Yeah.
They didn't tie them tight enough.
Yeah.
All right, Marsh, while you pull up, go pull up an aftermath video.
Okay.
Typically, helium-filled latex balloons are released outdoors and will stay aloft long enough to fully deflate before descending to Earth.
However, the balloon fest balloons collided with a cold front with rain, which caused them to plummet towards the ground while still inflating.
Oh my god.
The descending balloons clogged the land and waterways of northeastern Ohio.
In the days following, thousands of balloons were reported washed ashore on the Canadian side of Lake Erie, causing immense water pollution.
Oh my god.
Some people had misconceptions about the environmental impact of the balloons released, thinking that the balloons would reach an altitude where they popped and disintegrated.
What?
How would that happen?
That's crazy.
Burke Lakefront Airport had to be shut down for hours after the balloons landed there.
Traffic collisions skyrocketed and reported drivers would swerve in slow motion to avoid a blizzard of multicolored orbs or took their eyes off the road to gawk at the spectacle.
Motorists on Cleveland Memorial Shoreway ran into fences and each other before the roadway was eventually shut down and a bulldozer was needed to help clear the thousands of inflated balloons.
Oh God.
Let's go ahead and take a look at the aftermath video here.
Ironically, holy shit.
Here, because you're looking for more or less a head or an orange life jacket.
And here you have a couple hundred thousand, orange balloons, and it's just hard to decipher which is which.
That's so funny.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Because of weather, 60% of the time.
All right, pause.
Balloon Fest did not erase the moniker of mistake on the.
How many people died from balloon fest?
Uh well, it's hard to calculate because of all the traffic collisions, but hundreds were injured.
Was this more higher deaths told the 911 before no dude Jesus, that's crazy, 3 000 people died of balloons but.
But in the end, Balloon Fest 86 is regarded as the worst publicity stunt of all time, as it only further made Oh, an absolutely noxious place to live.
That place I don't think I ever want to go to.
Oh yeah, don't they have a six flags, do they?
Yeah, I feel like I went to six flags and it's just fallen apart thoughts.
How do you, how does that story make you feel, guys?
Do you feel more American?
I feel America it's.
I don't like to think about that.
I like to think about our back-to-back World War History, fair victories.
You know that we carried the entire world, all the fish that died from eating balloons, and birds and birds.
That makes me kind of sad.
Speaking of birds, I was on a plane that hit a bird.
After they hit a bird, I got on it and they just are like they came over the intercom and they're like bahs, your captain, speaking, uh, the last flight we hit a bird, uh.
So once we scrape it off the windshield, oh yeah, they just fucking scrape that motherfucker off, do some paperwork and then we'll be out of here.
Yeah, it's just so.
They didn't even have a funeral for the bird.
Sad, you know.
So my follow-up question to end the segment is, if you had to do a publicity stunt to save the reputation of Ohio, do you guys have any ideas?
I mean, it's already fucked, right?
Yeah, it's already so.
I would just host just a massive, just fucking orgy in the middle of the city.
An orgy yeah wait, that's a little problem.
Nothing could go wrong there.
Fest 86 with the children.
I'm here with Nancy.
Nancy's put her watch on a condom.
If anybody gets Nancy's watch, bring it back.
It's a little problematic.
Public orgy is probably not a thing, never mind.
Yeah, I feel like thousands of people attending.
I feel like there would be thousands of Ohians.
Yeah, maybe there would be dead.
People would be crushed.
I think you gotta get an orgy into it.
You gotta lean into it.
The orgy no oh, balloon.
The shitty reputation, okay.
So what would you do?
Nothing, you just gotta accept it, just jump your publicity set.
Don't come to.
Oh, EX Upstairs, 86.
Okay, I would try to get the largest group of pit bull impersonators together.
I would encourage, I would send bald caps to every Ohioan Dolle Fest 86.
Oh, I think we're talking about like pit bull, like people that impersonated, Impersonated like dogs.
No, well, both.
They could bring their pit bulls and they all have to sing.
They all are dressed and perform.
Judy has not dropped his pitbull impersonator thing since Kaya's birthday party.
Once I learned how much they get paid, I was like, how much do they get paid?
It was like they come with a full performance and it's like in a stage and backup dancers and it's like 20k for like an hour.
Wouldn't it be awesome if Pitbull had fallen on hard times and he was pretending to be an impersonator of himself and he just does birthday.
Oh my god.
Wait, that's insane.
I never thought of that.
It's a genius idea.
Hassan, what would you do to save Cleveland, Ohio?
I can't think of anything other than the fact that back in like the 80s, we would just have fun.
Like I feel like if someone today bro, you weren't even alive in the 80s.
No, I'm saying like America is Balloon Fest 86 worth it.
Yeah, in a weird way, it does feel like it.
Hear me out.
Yeah.
Okay.
What I mean by this is like we had no cell phone.
Such a profoundly stupid fucking idea.
Only cooked up by people who I assume were drunk during like in the middle of the day.
Because there's no shot that like a sober mind touched this idea at all.
And I feel like we don't.
They thought the balloons would disintegrate.
I don't even think they thought that through.
I think they were just like, we'll fucking put a bunch of balloons on.
That brings me to my point.
The way to save Cleveland, Balloon Fest 2024.
America is Worth It00:10:43
Yes.
This time we do it right.
Yes, you make sure there's no wind or cold.
No wind or cold.
Disintegratable balloons.
Two million balloons.
No child labor this time.
Come on.
It would bring a shit ton of publicity and then and then and then they would pull it off and then Ohio would shoot up.
Everybody would want to go.
This is where look at all these balloons.
Yes.
It is wild to me that they thought that balloons would save Cleveland.
At somewhere in the thought process, they're like, if we just release enough balloons.
I'm trying to think, like, what's a cool city?
New York.
Okay.
What could we do to Ohio to make it like New York?
Broadway, baby.
Broadway.
Let's move all to Ohio.
Fashion.
Oh, wow.
Ohio Fashion Week.
Let's go crazy.
Yes.
I mean, technically, Les Wexner is from Ohio.
Fuck up.
Wait, no.
I'm just kidding.
This is Victoria's Secret.
I think we need Ohio Fashion Week for like the middle-aged dad.
You might like this because it's about basketball.
Okay.
I have a crush on a woman.
Wait, you might like her.
Are you what?
Yeah.
You have a crush on a woman?
Are you coming out?
You know who I'm talking about?
Haiti Clark?
No, other one?
Angel Reese.
Ashley?
I only know Angel Reese.
You didn't even know her name?
Sorry.
It's a new love.
She's just, yeah, it's like horny for her.
I don't know.
Let me find her.
I watched her on TikTok.
Someone she came up on TikTok.
While Cutie's looking for that, I wanted to.
Is it Ashley Thornburg or whatever?
Ashley Rogers.
Marsh, I sent you a video.
Could you download it real quick?
Just to speak.
So it's not even Ashley at all.
No.
Look at her.
She's hot.
Oh, my God.
She literally looks like she looks like you if you played basketball.
Hell yeah.
What the fuck?
She's let me send you the edit.
Bro, she literally looks like the most Mormon woman alive.
How did you if Mormon women were allowed to wear shorts and athletic gear?
They would look like this.
You have to wear garments.
Are Mormon women allowed to play basketball?
What's happening?
Yes, they're allowed.
Indoor.
Do they, when they become wife-age, do they have to quit?
Basketball?
Yeah.
No, they can't.
Like, would their fan, like, what if there was a Mormon?
Look, I think fan fan will like her.
Look at her.
Crazy.
They scouted her when she was like 13 years old, and they said she would be like the next great thing in basketball.
And she silently had an incredible season behind Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese.
I do like her.
Isn't she kind of hot?
She is.
Yeah.
But I think she got drafted by LA, right?
She was in the WNBA draft.
Oh, so she's coming here, cutie.
I think she's got a lot of money.
I have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but he wouldn't mind if you got a girlfriend.
Break up with your boyfriend.
Because Paige is bored.
I'm not hot enough for Paige.
Hey, Marsh.
Maybe fan fan.
I sent you a video.
Anyway, that was America Me Up.
I hope you guys enjoyed it.
I love it.
Thank you.
I loved it.
And I came with another topic.
Oh, please.
Stop, pause.
I need to put context to this.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's an airport podcast.
This is an airport podcast.
It is.
Hold on.
Sorry.
AI is getting out of control.
I love this opening.
AI is getting out of control.
We, let's mess with AI in our generation, but let's not subject our elders.
I was in the Miami International Airport this afternoon waiting for my flight and I saw a line of these ladies being escorted by not a person, but a robot.
They were in wheelchairs that were not controlled by a person.
They were robot wheelchairs.
Roll the tape.
This line of these.
This is our original content.
Look at this.
On the ground reporting.
Look at this.
Wow.
Look at these ladies.
They're on the way to their gate.
They're getting stuck because the thing cannot get through the terminal because there's so many people and they're going.
No.
What?
It's out of control.
No.
You got to send it to Daily Dose.
They're going to miss their flight control.
They're going to miss their flight.
They're never going to get to their flight.
They don't know what's going on.
Somebody's on the phone calling for help.
That's so sad.
It's out of control.
Did you help them?
No, they've lived an entire lifetime.
Yeah.
They're 85 years old.
This is Skynet.
They're trying to get to their gate and they can't.
Some dickhead robot not letting them go.
Yes.
In that airport, Miami airport, Trywalk from D. What if they were at gate D60?
More than their flight time.
Literally.
Those poor older ladies, we need to stop subjecting our.
You're putting your foot down.
That is the most Florida-ass thing I've ever seen.
Okay, but like, but Hassan said, what am I?
People ask me this.
Did you help them?
What am I supposed to do?
Maybe clear away so the robots can make no.
If I would have stepped in front of that thing, it would have stopped and given the.
He did the responsible thing.
Record and do nothing.
Record and then make fun of it afterwards on his podcast.
I mean, I don't know what else I was supposed to do.
I didn't want to get, you know, who knows?
Maybe that.
That was hilarious.
That was a good time.
That was a topic.
That was really good.
Cutie, Hassan.
I wanted to talk more.
I know.
He wants to talk more about Taylor Swift.
I just want to talk about Taylor Swift because I know what hits the algo, dude.
Everyone is expecting us to have like.
Everyone's expecting us to brawl it out over Taylor Swift.
Notoriously, our Taylor Swift.
Do you think that we should talk about more Taylor Swift?
Okay, well, Cutie has a gripe with us because she doesn't like what we talk about.
You guys didn't throw me a Torture Post apartment party.
I offered to show the show that you were talking about.
No, Marsh, get the TikTok.
I sent it in the group chat last night.
I said, I'm mad none of you did this for me.
But I'm also nervous because, guys, I'm warning you, we're going to get shot on.
FanFan has not talked enough.
I have talked.
No, yeah, fanfan, what do you want to talk about?
Let's talk about fan fan.
I've been watching Love is Blind a lot.
Oh.
Oh, I actually pitched a reality TV show that you liked.
Yeah.
You should hear it.
It's called this.
Conception of Love.
10 bachelors, one bachelorette at the beginning of the show.
They all give a semen sample.
And she is artificially incentivated at random by one of them.
Did you see that?
At the end of the show, at the end of the show, with her pregnant, she can decide two things, whether she's going to marry the man she ended up with and whether or not they want to know who the father of the child is.
And they can get an abortion if she doesn't want it.
Yeah, I was like, what if, yeah, is there abortion on the table?
There is, but if they keep the baby, a million dollars to help them in their new wedding.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
Bro, you could literally, that's like, there's like a pro-life-ass sponsorship.
Yeah, you might be able to get it.
Conception of love.
Wait, that's a genius idea.
Thank you.
This is some shit.
Stanfan, if you had to write a little jingle to open up the show, what would it go like?
Give me a little conception of love jingle.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Give me that semen.
Give me that semen.
Yeah.
Give me that semen.
Give me that conception of love flying off the charts right now.
Wow.
Dude, it's kind of worrisome that she didn't even skip a beat.
Like she went right for the semen.
Give me that semen, conception of love.
Conception of love.
Give me that concept of love.
You'd watch that though.
Yes, I would watch that.
Are you kidding me?
Fuck yeah.
This is what cutie wanted us to throw over her.
This is what I wanted.
Fan fan, would you want one of these?
Look at him going.
Oh, balloon fest 86.
Oh, that'd be awful.
We throw her a party and just suffocate her with a balloon.
Guys, I am so like left out of.
The reason why I haven't been talking much is that I don't know Taylor Swift stuff at all.
Need I have to do it.
I had to do research to talk about it.
Look at it.
Isn't that crazy?
You guys never do this for me.
Well, pause, pause, pause.
Pause.
May I assert something?
Yeah.
He has sex with the person he's doing this for.
I was just going to say that.
Is that all men are motivated by sex?
That's a good question for you guys.
I'm curious.
Why wouldn't you do that for me?
Whose phone is going off?
Oh.
Generally speaking, the fact that Ludwig didn't do this for you and then you had to ask me to do this.
Makes me feel so good that, like, you love us, actually.
You love us secretly.
Oh, my God.
You do.
You always talk shit, but that's because you love us.
Ludwig's on a work trip right now.
What do you mean?
He's here.
Isn't he playing fucking L?
Pull him up right now.
He's busy.
Ludwig and I did spend 30 minutes trying to help you listen to the album.
Yeah, I was having a mental breakdown.
So we were there for you.
Yeah, but you didn't do that.
Look at him.
He's working.
54 hours deep.
Is it on a work trip?
Yeah, it's a work trip.
The basement smells awful.
Oh, God.
I went down there.
It smelled weird.
Okay, pause, pause, pause.
Speaking of doing things for me, Hassan, are you going to fucking do an Elden Ring run with me like they're doing?
Oh, this doesn't end until we beat Elden Ring.
That sounds awful.
It did.
Look at him.
FanFan will do it with you.
I'm getting a fucking drink.
Well, look at his situation.
Look at what you did, Hassan.
Iran attacks Israel and you lose all sight of your friends.
Okay, first of all, excuse me.
Look at the horrifying condition that Ludwig has subjected himself to.
Will would probably kill himself by the end of the day.
No, Will would like it.
I think Will and fan fan could do it.
FanFan goes for hours.
You don't sleep.
Not Elden Ring.
How many hours a night do you sleep?
It's weird.
Recently, I've been like staying awake for 30 days.
You'll do like three days.
Do you ever have hallucinations?
Oh my God.
How long have you been awake today?
Today, shorter.
I woke up for 30 hours.
Oh, my gosh.
And then when are you going to go to bed?
Like just maybe not today.
Three days.
Maybe not today.
Why don't you sleep?
I really want to see my schedule.
I just can't.
I want to play.
She just wants to play.
I just want to play.
But not Elden Ring, huh?
I played Elden Ring.
I don't want to play Elden Ring for 54 hours straight.
Yeah.
I thought she'd be down to run it.
Now, fan fan, you famously show feet a lot.
Staying Awake for Days00:02:21
How do you feel about foot fetishists?
Some of them are really kind, actually.
I do have some defenders on my Wiki feet.
I have haters on my Wiki feet.
I've five-star.
Let's take a look.
I mean, you have a lot of defenders.
Pull up FanFans WikiFeet.
FanFan, are you comfortable with us looking at your feet?
Yes.
Okay.
Now, FanFan, I do have a question.
Would you say that the foot fetish community, are they a nicer crowd than maybe the, maybe perhaps the butt-enjoying community or the butt-enjoying community?
Thank you.
See?
She knew exactly what I was talking about.
Yeah, they're actually.
You harlot.
Look at that.
That's what I'm saying.
She's famous for showing feet.
Oh, my God.
Look, there's one of both of us.
We're together.
I was trying to get my score up.
My score is so bad.
Yeah, because your feet are gross.
It's like.
Do I have a wiki feet?
I know, but wait, pull that picture up, Marsha.
I think feet are gross to begin with, but yours are like a particular.
Yours is the worst feet on the podcast.
But we have a gorilla marketing scheme.
We're trying to get her foot to look like my other foot.
So then they give me smart.
Yeah.
Did it work?
We go to my feet.
Let's see if they went up.
Okay, what I find.
I want to look at negative reviews of fan fan's feet.
So I actually did some research on this topic as well.
The reason why I don't find it.
Hold on one second.
Weird.
Sorry.
The reason I don't find it that weird that feet fetishes exists is because, like, just think about everything that shows up on the internet.
There's probably people jacking off to it.
Yeah.
Like, there's probably people watching Fear N and jacking off to Fear N.
So this is a very similar thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if you know this.
They've tried to explain why foot fetishists exist.
I know why.
I know the Freudian.
The reason I've heard is that because these part of your brain that is used to identify different parts of the human body, i.e. the genitals, is right next to where you log feet.
Oh.
What's the explanation for armpits?
That's you.
I have an explanation.
I think a lot of what the biggest way people consumed porn was online and dial-up internet used to be so bad.
You could like download porn on like lime wire, and then it would.
You'd be sitting there jerking it and then all of a sudden, like it's loading and you see feet first and off.
Explaining the Foot Fetish00:04:01
You're just like oh, fuck it, this will do.
Yeah, and you're just like exactly, no wonder I get immediately turned on by the like the AOL beep, and like armpits, armpits.
It just loaded the different way and there was the armpit showing me.
When I see static, immediately I nut for that reason.
Interesting yeah okay um wow yeah, that's amazing.
I was gonna ask the Freudian analysis for it is that, like when you're first coming of age sexually, you see Your mother, like, putting on shoes.
And that if you're, if you have like a random boner in that moment, you're cooked.
Like, for the rest of your life, you're a foot guy.
You're like Pavlov's dog.
You know what?
It's your dick and your mom putting on shoes.
And again, Freud was a kook.
So Freud was a sick son of a bitch.
I think he wanted to fuck his mother and he was trying to rope us all into it.
I actually oh, that's so crazy.
You enjoy a diet sprite.
That means you want to fuck your mother.
Unfortunately, he was a coke fiend, too.
Yeah, I read a book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Freud liked to party.
What?
God damn it.
I just realized we all listen to this son of a bitch.
We don't even know.
He was a Coke addict.
Well, no, we do know.
He would experiment with cocaine quite a bit.
He said Coke was a cure for depression.
Yeah.
No, exactly.
He's not wrong.
Perhaps he cooked too hard.
Another big event that happened this week kind of points to that.
Yeah.
Ryan Garcia proved us all wrong.
What a segue.
One of him and proved that drugs aren't that bad because he drank and partied every night before his title fight, which he missed weight for, and beat the shit out of his opponent.
Wait, how can he still do it if he missed weight?
Well, so when you miss weight, the belt comes off the line.
So he couldn't win the but he beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
Didn't he lose that?
No.
Put him down five times.
And they only counted three.
But the other guy got the belt because he missed weight.
Yeah, so the belt wasn't up for grabs after he missed weight by four pounds.
That's insane.
So was he four pounds?
I have a different opinion on this issue.
Can't miss weight under.
Okay.
He only missed weight over.
Okay.
I have a different opinion on this issue.
My opinion is that he wasn't lying and the Illuminati did traffic him and show him like all the weird pedophile stuff that they were doing.
What?
And then they body swapped him.
They body swapped him with a better fighter.
And like that is identical.
They cloned him and they made him into a better fighter in the clone.
And because he was like exposing the truth about the Illuminati, they had to clone him.
And now the real Ryan Garcia is dead.
That's unfortunate.
But well, the book is closed.
Drugs and drinking.
Good.
Good.
We've been talking.
We've been endorsing drugs for quite some time.
Yeah, we're big time.
What do you think about drugs?
Drugs?
I feel like drugs are good in moderation.
I feel like it's not good enough.
I like that Mark said not.
He said based, except like he is not a moderate drug drug.
In moderation.
No, I just told him you have to do it.
Different moderation for different people.
So just because fucking this one lady took too much Coke and then like crashed into an infant, Coke is illegal.
Yeah.
What I would say is moderation is different for different people, right?
For a larger person, you eat more.
Marsh just has a heavyset brain.
So he needs more drugs to get him where he's going.
The thing about drugs is you only hear about the bad stories.
That's how I feel about drunk driving.
No, I mean, think about it.
75% of car crashers are actually sober.
Why aren't we regulating those guys?
You know what I mean?
They're kind of ruining it.
Yeah, the bad drunk drivers.
The bad drunk drivers are ruining it for the rest of us.
Expert level drunk drivers.
I wouldn't believe how many jars a woman could open on PCP.
Like, imagine if we could just take PCP more often and actually be helpful around the house.
Regulating Sober Drivers00:01:50
And then you wouldn't need men.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because that's what men are good for.
And we'd be happy.
Hey, good question for you.
Would you rather be alone in the woods and approached by a man or a bear?
A fucking bear.
That's right, baby.
A bear's not going to rape me.
You know what I mean?
A bear can't shit his dick inside me.
Oh, wow.
And on that cheerful note, I've never seen a bear dick before.
Me neither.
Marsh, Marsh, we're going to look at bear dicks in the paywalled portion.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to see what a bear's erect penis looks like, you got to join us behind this.
That's right.
Patreon.com slash VRN.
Let me thank our amazing guests this week for me.
Thank you so much for joining us.
And on impromptu, too, we pulled you aside from Master Sega.
Do you have anything you'd like to promote or talk about?
Or where can we find you?
No, no.
Just Twitch at fanfan.
Yep.
I hate.
Thank you so much.
Also, a five-star rating on WikiFeed.
Oh, we're going to look at bad reviews of fanfans' feet on WikiFeed as well.
And we're also going to look at all of our Wiki feeds.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us.
And thank you as always to our Patreons.
We'll see you next week and goodbye.
I hate that she acts like her feet are worthless, especially when people like me mainly look for arches.
She definitely has great arches.
Huh?
The detail.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It really is you.
Wait, what does it say?
What does it say after that?
Hold on.
Also.
I can't read.
My eyes are so bad.
Also.
Sure, the toes can be crowded, but that's not innate to her feet.
She can fix it by simply spreading them.
I can't.
I've uploaded three pics of her showing off her arches and blacking out the crowding to illustrate my point.
I think overall they're four-star, but I've rated five-star because the average is too low.