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April 8, 2024 - Fear&
01:05:46
Why Hasanabi Is No Longer Allowed To Leave The Country | Fear&

Fear Ann hosts reunite after Austin's Australian trip, dissecting JoJo Siwa's calculated PR strategies to farm engagement via Colleen Ballinger and James Charles. They debate whether her adult content is cringe-worthy or a deliberate tactic, contrasting her with Rebecca Black while criticizing Tana MoJo for snapping over rent questions. Amidst banter about failed Chuck Norris bookings and kangaroo jerky, the group analyzes fan toxicity regarding their cat Cutie and concludes that modern celebrity management relies on manufactured controversy to sustain viral relevance across generations. [Automatically generated summary]

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Back From Australia 00:04:21
Fire it up, baby.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Woo!
Is it live?
It's live.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Fear Ann podcast.
Finally, the family is back together after Hassan took the podcast hostage to Australia.
Yep.
And it completely flopped twice in a row.
So mean.
That is not a nice thing to say.
You need us.
You desperately need us.
Oh, my God.
What?
What?
Austin, that you're not going to be able to do that.
It's crazy that you're saying that about a show that you are also a part of.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
That was a joke.
Somebody's not kidding.
You're not kidding.
You were hounding the fucking...
You were looking at the analytics like, damn.
Oh, my God.
Will, come on.
Will.
This is a conversation that Austin and Will probably definitely had already.
Now Will's going to be the nice guy.
First of all, hold on just a second.
All right, let's hear it.
Can we not joke anymore?
Humor's dead.
This is what the left is doing.
I love that you went to Australia, and I love that I had two weeks off.
It was awesome.
Yeah, no.
You know what?
I thought my PTSD.
I thought the podcast did amazing in Australia.
And I think we should be a liar.
You're a liar.
And you also desperately were looking at the algo to be like, I hope it flops because if these fucking shows do well, he's going to either.
That's the thing about Austin.
He just needs to know that he's needed.
Yeah, he's A, he's going to either constantly travel and I don't want to go there because I'm, you know, too busy flying around the country all the time.
Or two, he's going to travel and I'm not going to go and then I can't get TikTok clips.
Will and I had a hit tub show while you were gone.
We don't need this.
I saw.
I was there.
I was watching.
I was watching from Australia.
Judy, why can't I joke about this?
You guys.
No, I'm saying this.
I'm just literally being silly.
This is why I'm taking seriously.
You don't know what I'm saying, dude, about.
I'm saying, dude, about you two making out.
Oh, in the tub.
So a lot of people.
I think there's a homophobia.
We actually didn't make out.
No, he licked my face.
I schnozzled him.
Yeah, he licked my face.
Well, I also put my mouth over your nose and mouth and blew as hard as I could.
You actually came out his mouth.
Yeah.
That's really funny.
Two bros being bros.
It's a really funny thing to do.
Yeah.
And I loved it.
Yeah, you did.
Come on.
You've loved it.
We were two working programs.
You loved it a lot.
How do you feel about him taking a body shot?
We were shit faced, dude.
I love that you're exploring.
I love that you have your tub show.
What about exploring with your boyfriend?
What's wrong with you?
I think that water is so fucking nasty.
That's how people keep saying that.
When I watch the tub show, yeah.
But I mean...
We change the water like four times.
You're spilling beer.
There's no way to make tub water look good on camera.
Hold on.
Yeah, that's what you're saying.
That's what I'm saying.
I genuinely think that tub water just looks like that and people don't understand that.
Yeah, I have to like, they're like, what is it?
It's smirky and colored.
No, I think we need bubbles colored would still look better with bubbles.
I bought bubbles and I dumped an entire thing into it and it didn't work.
There was no bubble.
You have to agitate them.
Okay, you gotta work.
Okay.
I don't know how to.
I thought you literally are like the connoisseur of being a tub.
Yeah, I just haven't.
I haven't taken a lot of baths recently.
I've been only taking showers because I think it's better for the environment.
Shut up.
Fucking Christ.
Okay, we're back, ladies and gentlemen.
For those of you who didn't watch the last two episodes, and many of you didn't, actually, I was in Australia.
As Austin pointed out, as Austin also immediately pointed out, we had two very highly performing, you know what?
That's all right.
Okay, stop adding insult to injury.
It wasn't.
It was a great show.
And it was a great decision for you to go.
Listen, it's what you need.
Yeah, I enjoyed myself, and I do think it's good to branch out to different audiences, even if their audiences don't watch.
But anyway, regardless, I went to Australia.
We're back.
We're doing a family show.
There's a lot that we're going to talk about today, obviously.
But right off the jump, even though you were being a piece of shit about me going to Australia, I still got you gifts.
I got all of you gifts.
Okay, hold on.
Now, no, now that's come on.
It could have been anybody's life.
I was only a piece of shit about you going to Australia because you did exactly what I thought you would do.
Yeah.
And what is that?
Book your flight 48 hours before you left and not let me know till 14 hours before.
Yeah, Will and I were ready to go and you didn't give us enough.
Tasting Kangaroo Meat 00:15:03
He, okay, he was maybe iffy at best for going.
You were always a no.
I was at the airport.
You and Cutie.
I love that.
You and Cutie are literally the same when it comes to fucking international travel now.
You used to be.
You used to be a fucking ride or die.
I'll say it.
You used to be a ride or die.
You are no longer a rider.
I'm so sorry for not dropping $20,000 on a round.
You ride.
It wasn't $20,000.
You ride.
Oh, fine.
16.
Sorry.
You ride.
Yeah.
But something else.
Damn.
Hold on.
Are you, did you just out me as being a potential bottom?
Because that's not the case.
I said ride.
You ride something else.
Ride.
Bottoms.
Are bottoms the ones who are riding?
No, the bottoms are the ones who get ridden.
Wait, no, no, no.
Hold on.
Bottoms are riding.
Wait.
Bottoms are riding.
No.
Yeah, they are.
They're riding.
They're on top.
Yeah, they're right.
I guess what that is.
Yeah.
But the bottom would be riding, right?
Yeah, if they're on top, they're riding.
But I felt like you're riding.
Oh, I've never heard it like that.
Yeah.
Okay, that might be my fault.
Bottoms ride there.
Yeah, they ride.
Yeah, they ride.
Okay, you're on the ride.
You're kind of up first.
This is not a gift, but instead a gift for the audience where we are going to be doing a taste test of kangaroo and crocodile game jerky.
I don't even know what it is.
No, no, no, no, fuck away.
This is like a real meat.
Yes.
Fuck away.
You just said fuck away.
I said no fucking way.
That's what I meant.
No, no, no, no.
We have that.
Three different tastes.
No way.
From Australia, but that's not the gifts.
I have crocodiles for every single person.
Wow.
This was thoughtful.
Okay.
First and foremost, okay, a boomerang keychain.
That says Australia.
Here you go, Will Neff.
That's for you.
Sweet.
Wow.
Is it because he reminds you of Kangaroo Jack a little bit?
A little bit, yes.
I can't believe you got gifts for us.
Secondly, here is a Visit Melbourne teaspoon.
A Coke spoon.
The reason why I got this for Cutie Cinderella is because she gives off the vibes of a woman who would have a teaspoon collection.
Thank you.
I feel like this will be the start of it.
You can get it started on there.
And last but not least, I got a Melbourne Australia shot glass for In the Tub with Austin show because he's a drinker now.
Thank you.
He's a big drinker.
Thank you.
That's so thoughtful.
Austin is definitely going to keep that right there and forget about it, just like he has his previous gifts that I've gotten him from Italy.
Oh, and then also I have a palate cleanser for when we do the taste test of kangaroo meat and that's just a cocoa black hazelnut praline bunnies Australian chocolate vape.
Not a vape.
No.
Even though, holy shit, they love vaping in Australia.
Yeah.
It looks like illegal.
Wait, hold on.
Is this actual?
Is this real meat?
Yeah, that's real kangaroo meat and that's real crocodiles.
Yes.
They eat kangaroo meat pretty frequently in Australia.
Kangaroo meat.
Kangaroos are like the deer.
Are you icing your eyelids right now?
Something's wrong with me.
No, are you okay?
That's.
You guys miss it.
I had lymphoma for like a solid week.
Wait, hold on.
What did the doctor say?
I don't.
Oh, thank God.
What is lymphoma?
Cancer.
I cutie called me and I was like whole ass swollen ass thing.
One thing I hate is when hypochondriacs call me and they give me their symptoms and situations and I'm like, oh my god, they may have lymphoma.
It was big.
It was big for months.
Cutie, when you called me, I was like, oh shit, that could be lymphoma.
Yeah.
And I went and I didn't want to tell you.
I went to the doctor and the doctor was like, yeah, it's kind of weird.
Let's get an ultrasound.
Yeah.
So then what am I going to do besides write my will?
Yeah.
I was.
Yeah.
He said, can I have your cat?
And I was like, no.
She called me.
She called me.
She's like, I have this lump.
And like, I was like trying to come up with solutions.
And I was like, she ran me through all the solutions.
I was like, she may have lymphoma.
I thought that's insane.
I called my mom and I was like, I think she's got lymphoma.
I think she's done.
I'm fine.
Do you guys want to give these a whirl?
Yeah.
I'd like to give them all.
I fucking will.
Have you guys ever had kangaroo meat or whatever?
I've had an alligator.
Oh, you have?
Yeah.
And you like it?
No.
Louisiana.
It's just double real.
Well, kangaroo.
It's kangaroo, but then this one is kangaroo.
One is kangaroo.
The other one is kangaroo sweet and hot.
I also have dessert afterwards.
Yeah, what if I am allergic?
Yeah, what if we're allergic?
Yeah, we don't.
We have no idea.
We've never had it before.
You're about to find out.
Yeah, what if we have an outbreak?
These are premium allergy.
Do you have Benadryl?
Premium Australian.
I do.
Low and fat.
Now added MSG.
Sulsa Protein.
We just named two things that you use for.
I have Benadryl.
We'll be fine.
Well, that's a little soy.
Me, and my contain gluten.
It's about 10 minutes of it.
That's fine.
I ate gluten.
So today.
We're going to try.
I think.
Let's go with the most exotic one first.
Let's go with crocodile, authenticized beef jerky.
I had a crocodile in New Orleans once.
So you're not allergic.
It was alligator.
I don't know if I'm allergic to crocodile.
Yeah, see, but they're from the same family, aren't they?
Yes.
What's the difference?
One opens their mouth up, the other one opens their mouth down.
It smells like a drink.
You know, beef jerky.
You literally gotta know.
That looks like a stick of gum.
Ooh, that looks so yucky.
Get one for cutie as well.
Don't touch mine.
Oh, no.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Yes, you can.
Oh, it stinks like cat food.
No, it's it smells like beef jerky.
You guys have never had beef jerky before?
I can't even do it.
Will's making a face.
Will's going.
Wait, why isn't Marsh eating it?
Oh, I was trying to stall.
He's excited to eat it.
It tastes like, it just doesn't know.
It tastes like chicken.
It tastes like it tastes literally like chicken.
It's poultry.
Oh, man.
Look at that.
That's so cool.
Fucking rotted.
I don't like it.
I like it out of my mouth.
See, a lot of it for me is mental.
And to me, I'm eating a crocodile.
It doesn't sound appetizing to me.
Really?
I think it was fine.
It was okay, though.
Realistically, it was fine.
It tastes like regular beef jerky.
I struggled to swallow it.
You want a palaroo's gonna be a bad person?
You want a power cleanser, Australian?
Yeah, can you hold my hand during this process?
Yeah.
Okay.
Can I have so kangaroo is basically yeah, yeah, here.
I have uh Chocco's hazelnut rat meat, right?
Oh, kangaroo.
No, it's like deer.
Oh, no, it's a big rat.
I don't eat deer either.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you're right.
It is deer or a white one?
Me neither.
I refuse to eat deer.
I barely eat meat.
I won't.
I'll only eat meat that I can purchase.
There's only one extra one.
Split that.
Is that weird?
We have to split this one.
I mean, you don't have to split it here.
Just take the white one.
Take the white one.
I barely got any.
I don't want to get close.
Take the white one.
Okay.
Okay, next we got kangaroo.
Kyle wants the crocodile so bad.
Yeah, do you want one?
Do you have more?
No, I don't want it.
Do you have more, though?
No.
Because, like, how are we going to palate cleanse from the rodent?
Well, we're only eating rodent from this point forward.
Yeah.
Oh, this one looks good.
It looks appetizing.
Oh, it's the tattoo.
It looks better than a nice musk.
Oh, no, cutie.
What is their flavoring?
Like, what are they using?
Oh, that tastes like rat meat.
Oh.
Oh, I'm not further out.
Bro, I'm not going to eat this.
Did you eat it?
Put it in your mouth.
If you need to spit it, you can spit it into this.
It's definitely got some rat to it.
Oh, what?
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's insane.
I'm sorry.
I missed the bag.
I'm sorry.
And I have to pick up your space.
Hold on.
It's on me.
That's on me.
That was my.
Yeah, we know it's on you.
What the fuck?
No one else thought that it was on anyone else, I swallowed it whole.
I'm like, damn, you're fucking knocked it?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Okay, the kangaroo one was fucking gross.
It's gamey as hell.
It was shocking how it was shocking how gamey that one was.
It's rat meat.
Kangaroos, I'm going to say it shouldn't be eaten.
I thought kangaroo is the one that tastes like chicken, but I guess not.
It is definitely much gamier.
Do you really?
Crocodile does taste like chicken.
No, that was just extra sweet chili.
That's sweet and hot.
Okay, do you want to taste it?
Oh, it's sweet and it's hot.
Yep.
Okay, you're going to taste it.
Here, I'm going to taste it.
If you want a palate cleanser, I have Turkish Delights straight out of turkey.
My cousin just brought them.
Oh, open up those bad boxes.
Don't want to try this one.
I had the biggest crush on the one boy, but I was a boy too.
Well, I wasn't a boy.
I was young.
I was young too.
So it's okay.
Like, I had a crush.
He's a kid, but I was a kid, too.
Oh, yeah, I get it.
So we both had kid crushes on each other.
Well, he didn't have a crush on me because he was famous.
Yeah, I get that.
But if he would have met me, he would have loved me.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Do you think you'd Skander Keynes, and he played Edmund in Narnia, and I was obsessed with him.
You think you'd still be together?
Oh, I said.
We would still be together.
I had some kid crushes.
We would have babies.
Oh, wow.
Smell it.
You had some kid crushes.
Yeah, like when I was a kid, a crush on another kid.
Yeah.
I had a kid crush when I was another kid, too.
When I was a kid.
Why are you saying it?
Like, it's creepy somehow.
Bro, why did you say that when I said it was nobody else?
I'm not eating that.
Which makes me wonder if Chef Boyer D uses kangaroo meat.
This one's sweet and hot.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I can't.
Hold on.
Kaya, no.
Hold on.
I need to open up the Turkish chocolates.
They're not chocolates.
They're a Turkish light.
What does that mean?
I can't.
I can't.
I hurt kangaroo meat.
I can't chew it.
You didn't even put it in your mouth.
Put it in your mouth.
Put it in your mouth.
You know what the song?
There's two pieces of kangaroo meat in your pocket.
Just one.
Here, just throw it.
If I went in your pocket, would there be a piece of money?
That would be sexual harassment, and we don't have HR.
God damn it!
That's insane.
Ew.
I had a whole slide of straight.
I have a Turkish July.
Yeah, I just had one in the bag.
Oh, my God.
That was.
I feel bad if we offended Australians.
Try the.
No, fucking.
The crocodile meat was good.
Sweet and hot was better.
Oh, sorry.
Do you want one?
You want to draw one?
Sugar's delight.
Turkish Delight.
Let me give one.
Way better.
Let me get one as well.
Kind of tastes like kangaroo meat.
Okay, watch out for Kaya.
No.
Kaya, naughty girl.
She did nothing naughty.
She was trying to smell.
And that's how it starts.
And then they lick it.
It doesn't, it kind of doesn't it taste like kangaroo meat?
No.
Not at all.
Can I have another piece?
There's a lot going on there.
Yeah.
It's like it's powdered sugar, but then also like a like a gummy bear.
Like a wafer.
And there's pistachios.
Yeah.
And there it is.
Turkish delight.
Wow.
Okay.
It's got a little crunch to it.
My stomach is a cauldron right now.
What happened?
Yeah, there's a lot happening.
There's crocodile meat.
There's a hazelnut chocolate.
There's pistachio and there's kangaroo.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's good for the body.
Yeah.
I shat so much in Australia that I actually didn't even fucking gain weight.
What is it?
Which is crazy.
Yeah.
I literally...
Do you not want that?
Here, you can throw it in.
I'm going to have chocolate in my mouth.
Oh.
Yeah, excuse you.
Yeah, no, I ate so much hot pot.
The food was incredible.
The Asian cuisine carries.
I feel like the Asians are the Mexicans of Australia.
We're like...
What a sentence.
Their cuisine is just like absolutely carrying big time.
Okay.
And it was phenomenal.
Very walkable cities, very beautiful.
And if you guys like nature, you would have appreciated it a lot more than me because I don't really fuck with nature.
We were worried because the only information we were getting was out of your Discord.
Yeah.
Okay, dude.
And I told a different story.
I believe the quote was, I'm going to fucking kill myself.
Yeah, that was me responding to a fucking...
I think the camera might have moved, by the way.
Kaya moved the camera.
Yeah, that was me fucking responding to someone saying some dumb shit in the Discord.
Of course, like out of context, it looks like I was.
Out of context, it seems like you're going to kill yourself.
It happened.
That went viral.
That went viral.
And then the other thing that went viral was the fucking Hasar Behe coming up to me at the Palestinian protest and being like, you know what, though?
I think she did a good job because when I went in your fridge, it was Diet Pepsi.
No, I unfortunately accidentally had to get fucking Pepsi Max.
You can just lie.
You can just say that you're TikTok.
Yeah, just say you smell it.
No, fuck no.
I would never.
Pepsi sucks.
He's doubled down on the Diet Coke.
He's got an inflatable Diet Coke mascot.
Yeah.
And I love Diet Coke.
This I got before I left for Australia because when you order it online on Amazon, which is also a very ethical company, as you guys all know, sometimes if they don't have Diet Coke, they swap it automatically to Diet Pepsi, which is insane.
I think that should be illegal.
Yeah.
But I'm still drinking it.
There are certain products that I, you know, I don't know if I could live without them, even if they were helping commit genocide.
Give us an example.
Stop.
That's not even a thing.
Like Starbucks coffee?
Hot Cheetos.
Oh, hot cheetos.
I love them.
They're good.
You could just couldn't live without them.
No.
Hot Cheetos.
Flaming hot Cheetos.
Even if they were doing real bad things.
I've never even seen you eat a hot Cheeto.
I'm going to go with branch-flavored cornnuts.
You've never watched branch-flavored corn nuts?
I'm sorry.
I love them.
Thank you.
Those are good.
And sometimes I'll buy them before I go on a plane and then I realize they smell so bad.
Yeah.
Because I used to eat them in math class and my math teacher used to be like, you should go.
I'm shocked that.
Actually, you know what?
I'm not shocked how much you got bullied in high school.
Yeah.
You got bullied in high school?
I'm so sorry, cutie.
I don't give off those vibes.
Hot Cheetos Obsession 00:08:22
Does he remind you of your bullies?
Because that's what I thought.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
He looks like Mormon.
He's a bully.
No, he looks stupid as hell.
We need to fucking you and me need to kick his ass.
I don't want to.
I'm so tired.
Okay.
But it's not lymphoma.
I'm so tired all the time.
I am.
That's so tired.
I'm just crying for him.
I'm so tired.
I don't know what's happening, but I'll be fine.
You'll be good.
So, how are you guys?
I'm good.
So, you know, what's really funny is we were going to do a podcast while you were gone.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
You should have.
And I tried multiple times.
Kaya.
Kaya.
For the love of God.
Get out.
We tried multiple times and they kind of just both blew me off.
No, I didn't blow you off.
We were in the tub together during the day.
You were in the tub together.
Interesting.
Wait.
So he didn't blow you off for when it comes to his own show.
Oh, no, no, come on.
And she blew you off.
No, I was busy.
I spent two hours on.
I was told she had earth-shattering period cramps.
I did.
And I was using my PTO.
How selfish of you.
I thought that was natural and beautiful.
What the fuck happened?
I was supposed to do Austin's tub show on my period.
Yeah.
And she couldn't do it.
And so I said no.
One way to get out of here.
Yeah, they were worried we did track sharks.
Yeah.
No, what was my response, Cutie?
Austin was like, it's fine.
No, I didn't.
And I was like, no, there's no way I said that because that's what Ludwig said.
I said, and I don't, did I actually say that?
Austin was like, it's fine.
You can still do it.
No, I know that I can believe you said that.
There's no way I said that.
You absolutely said that.
No, no.
Blood comes out.
I laughed at me during a video.
No, no, I literally called her.
I literally called her and I was like, look, what you're having is beautiful.
It's natural.
And it's an experience that only God in the tub with your ooey gooey.
That's not true.
That is not true.
That's mad.
I was like, the show must go on, though.
No, I did.
I bleed all over.
It doesn't matter.
I got sound bombs.
You made you cut it.
No.
Cutie went to, she told me she couldn't do it, which I respected immediately.
I didn't even ask her.
I didn't even push her on it.
I don't believe that.
I called another woman and she was also on her period.
And so I had to go to the show.
But we're all synced up.
Ladies, now you know what to say to Austin when he wants you to be in the tub show and you don't want to do it.
Look, you can just tell me you don't want to be in the tub show.
And then no, I'm going to be on the tub eventually.
Yeah, she's going to be on the tub eventually.
I'm just going to sit outside of it.
You don't have to.
Listen, no one's keeping track of things of like who's on or if I had way more viewership than when Ludwig was on.
No one pays attention to those things.
They're just metrics that are lost out.
I did not know that.
I like that.
That's neat.
Was that a thing?
I didn't even, I was just putting out.
There certainly was a metric that a lot of people recorded.
How much more?
I don't really know exactly, but some would estimate between 300 to 500,000 viewership.
I don't know if I'm just kidding.
What was the actual number?
I don't know.
I think it's between 5,000 and 10,000 more, but it's God.
Yo.
It's hard to say.
I don't know.
That's crazy.
I don't know what you want me to say about that.
Now, hold on.
Now, YouTube may be a different story, but we'll see.
Well, it was on a Ludwig was on a Friday and a Saturday.
There's a big difference.
Why are you trying to defend your boys?
Because what am I supposed to do?
No, don't defend your man's right now.
I just want to say I loved having both of you on, and it was, it was both of, it was a phenomenal.
How do you feel about him taking body shots off of your man?
I do feel bad because Ludwig asked me to do a show and I got back late to him too late.
And so he went to the B team.
I missed.
No, not that show.
His show.
And I miss it.
So I apologize.
No, no, no, no.
He did go on.
I did go on there.
I did.
He did.
I was on.
I was on.
Oh, you were my replacement.
Wait, fuck.
I don't know when he asked you.
Maybe somebody else was your replacement.
I have no idea.
No, I actually, it was, I wasn't your replacement.
It was somebody else.
And I know how that person, it was a situation.
They were on their period.
I'm not even supposed to say that I was on that.
I was replaced by a serial.
No.
No, no, it like there was another person that came and they were told it was like they needed to come because there's an emergency.
So it was probably your he wanted us together.
Got it.
What is your take to the question I keep asking?
How did you feel about Austin taking body shots off your mans?
All I could focus on is how gross I think the water is.
Yeah.
He didn't have a problem.
She was in the bathroom with us.
Yeah, I walked in.
I saw them.
And by the way, for the record, in the tub, not a sexual show.
Okay.
I'm sick and tired of people.
I'm doing weird things.
Will and I, after the show, we're like, Will Phil Blue.
You felt so uncomfortable with how we were sexualized during that show.
Oh, yeah.
Well, have you considered not looking like a slut then?
A daughter?
Let's see.
Wow.
Ooh, that's great.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm fucking saying it.
Will so gross.
Will, Will, don't do this.
Don't even fucking do this.
Goes to Australia.
Yep.
Yeah.
I'm not problematic down there.
I'm more problematic now.
Will, you looked so fucking good.
You look so good.
Austin always looks good.
So it's like you already know.
No, I'm bridging the gap.
I'm losing weight.
You look great.
You look so goddamn good.
It made me good.
And you know what you have on me?
It made me not want to go in the tub for at least another six months.
No, come on.
Yeah.
Sorry, Austin.
I have to get.
I understand.
You're a pussy, and that's okay.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Toxic masculinity just jumped out real quick, huh?
I'm just trying new tactics.
I'm going to be more problematic.
I'm just trying new tactics.
Yeah, it's not going to work.
No, look, I respect you and your body and whatever you want.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Now, when everybody came in this week, they all said they had a lot to share.
Oh, I do.
I have something to share.
Okay, please.
Something that's really fucking pissing me off.
Go for it.
Can I be honest?
Dude, this is the so let me let me hear.
I'm gonna guess it.
I'm gonna guess it before you do it.
You sat on a plane and someone did not open the fucking window when it was during the day.
No, it's a minor inconvenience at an airport.
It has to do with an airport.
Okay, yeah.
I'm sick and tired.
Such a strange.
I'm sick and tired of these fucking feel-good, generic music that they're plasting in the fucking airports at six o'clock in the morning.
Okay.
I'm sick of it.
Okay.
I'm suffering generic, bullshit, loud music about somebody overcoming some generic obstacle.
I've had it.
I'm sick of it.
I don't want to hear it.
Okay, you're that's an L on you because you're raw dog in the airport.
You're the only person I know that doesn't bring headphones.
No, I have headphones, but sometimes I want to listen to the listen to the environment.
You have the weirdest autism on the planet.
Don't get that.
I wear headphones most of the time.
No, he has aviation autism.
It's not even like just an airplane.
It's just like some, they're blasting music.
And I don't want to hear it after they're, you know what they're trying to do?
The airlines fucking you should see.
This is why I think you're a corpo.
That's what you are.
Is that a slur?
I don't know what a corpo is.
It's like a corporate person that likes corporations.
Corporations, these airlines, are shoving positive music in our ears because they're trying to trick our minds into thinking it's a positive music.
Like an old navy.
Yes.
Yeah, they all do the same.
No, I need to hear like some have happy on okay.
That topic flopped.
Next topic.
Whoa, he's mad.
Okay.
Next topic is: is Austin betraying us?
I'm off it.
Is Austin betraying us?
But I think he should explain what betrayed you going to betray us in the future.
Wait, what did I do?
What did I betray you with?
Did he do something mean to you in a dream?
No, he's going to betray us in the upcoming weeks or so.
Wait, why?
Oh, go ahead.
I didn't want to take that away.
It's awkward, but I got invited.
I didn't want to take that away from you.
Hold on now.
Put it down.
Come on.
We can talk about this.
Explain the fucking thing that you're doing.
Have been invited and will be personally flown out by the I've Had It podcast.
I don't fuck with them, so that's okay.
Hey!
I don't know them, so I can say that.
I love them, they were amazing.
And now that I'm in front of you, it feels mean to rub it in.
I've thought about it.
They're flying him only, not us, not you, not me.
Redoing The Studio 00:06:43
Yeah, I know.
You know, it's just one of those things where it's like the gay must go a long way because I was infinitely more intimidating on that.
Wow.
It's the gay privilege.
Wow.
Wow.
Check it at the door.
You're gay privilege.
Maybe they're trying to expand their gay demographic.
Wow.
This is a gay play.
Wow.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Oh, my God.
Maybe I'm a little bit into it.
Maybe I'm a little fucking better.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
Wait, so when are you going?
Because I liked that.
No, I know.
You know what?
I'm going to tell them you said hello.
Wow.
That's so funny.
Well, thanks.
What about me?
What are you going to tell them?
I mean, I don't know.
You tell those two women that I don't fuck with them.
I'm going to tell them that.
You tell them.
Tell them I could suplex both of them.
They're probably going to see this too.
Yeah, tell them.
I'm going to tell them.
I heard what they said about our studio, and it's established some major insecurities in our production.
Oh, that's interesting because that was going to be the next topic that I wanted to bring up.
The studio.
So originally, I was a big fan of the other studio, the earlier studio that we had, my studio in my house that we were using right down the corner here.
And there were a lot of people who made a big fuss about it and said, it's not good enough.
It's not good enough.
We need a real professional studio.
Which is truthful.
I don't think it's truthful.
I think it was a perfectly fine student.
I said that.
I'll take credit for that.
But you weren't the only one who said that.
In the same breath.
I said it.
In the same breath, people suggested, hey, let's build a second studio in Hassan's house.
And I said, no, that's crazy.
Why would we ever do that?
Because I, on the other hand, was like, sure, if you guys want to do it, then that's fine.
I was like, we can build a studio.
I will go three feet.
I will commute three feet.
I'm going to go to your commute, Frank.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say one more time that one, not only was I right about the earlier studio situation, I was right about it, but listen, but hold on.
If we were to go and get studio space somewhere, you guys would still complain.
Yeah, I love complaining.
How would that change my life in any way other than having a professional setup?
I love complaining.
I have to travel regardless.
I would probably be upset about we would have to pay so much a month for it.
Now we don't have to pay anything for a month.
I think we should sell this set.
I think we should rent out this room in your house.
Yeah, let's do that.
They're only fan photo shoots.
Why are we having this conversation?
Because while I was in Australia, we need this supplemental.
There was a long text message and I'm going to read it out.
Can I read it out?
It's from this motherfucker.
You read it out.
You read your own text now.
I'll read it, but I'm going to censor it.
The inflections he's going to put on this.
He's going to make himself sound so nice right now.
Yeah.
You guys.
Hey, guys.
I was by the beautiful.
Hold on.
No, you're fine.
There we go.
Hello.
That's not.
Remind us.
You haven't checked in on any of us for a week.
Hold on.
Nobody has checked in on anybody.
I know, and I like to keep it that way.
Hello, all.
I think we need to redo this studio.
And in the interim, we need to move back to the old set.
I think the set is uncomfortable, dark, And it's slowly chipping away at our metrics.
What I said, yeah, it's not all of our issues, but I think it's necessary to shift while we figure out what to do with that room.
And I think our audience agrees with us.
And then you suggested that I rent it out.
And then I said we rented out for the and then I said, um, I think we should rent out the studio to aspiring podcasters, which was clearly a joke and start a new revenue stream.
And then Hassan says, I can't tell if you're joking.
And I said, I'm joking.
What do you think?
I'm insane.
And clearly, he thinks I'm insane.
And I said, you're just as good.
You know what this room would be perfect for?
What?
A bedroom.
Yes.
That's a crazy idea.
Because when you know it, that's exactly what it was before it turned into a studio.
Why is there a bathroom in it?
Yeah, that's you know, bedrooms don't usually have that.
I don't know.
Most people we're gonna paint it white.
Yes.
We're gonna get a desk.
We're gonna get a desk.
Yeah, I think we could and then we're gonna get a fear and logo for that wall.
That's perfect.
Oh, so you want to keep it?
You want to you want to continue doing it?
What do you think about raising the ceilings by about a foot?
I can't tell if he's joking or not.
Am I crazy?
He's so funny.
We're not going to do that.
I think we need to blow out this wall.
If we have that bathroom, nobody pees in there.
We can't even get in.
There's a camera going.
We can't even pee in that bathroom.
Look at there's a camera in the way.
So here's the question.
If we got crafty, we could maybe use more room and go this way, and Marsh could be in the bathroom.
No, that's that.
Wait, no, that is normal.
That is, that is something I suggested as well.
No, it wouldn't be like a bathroom.
It'd be Marsh's office.
And also, I don't think that's crazy.
And Marsh wouldn't have to leave to go pee.
I don't think that that's crazy.
That is exactly what I originally had suggested.
No, that's what Jeff does.
We'd have more space.
No, that's exactly what Jeff did with Jeff FM.
That's exactly.
I think we'd have to remove the vanity.
Marsh, do you want to do that?
You just want to do home renovation in my house for some reason that is not even going to yield.
That's awesome.
That's true.
I'm going to, I am going to shit my pants.
I don't understand this.
Why?
Why are you like this?
Why are you all like this?
Freaking, just get a studio.
I don't want it.
I just don't want.
What if it's further away from?
I already drive 12 hours to get here, but he has to fly in.
What if it's further away from?
Okay, first of all, he has to fly in is his fault and no one else's.
I have two.
Secondly, the irony part is when he, when he actually, you can bring those children to LA.
They don't live in LA.
They don't fuck with the vibes in LA.
You drive them one time to LA and then that's it.
They used to have a cigarette problem and now they're sober.
Yeah, they're drive your cats to LA one time and then that's it.
You never ever drive them.
You don't care about their smoking party.
They're part of that.
They're not going to die or they're going to die.
Thank you.
There's a vaccine coming out to extend cats' lives until they're 30.
You already stay with me when you're here.
I've stopped staying at hotels.
Dove Cameron Drama 00:15:08
I've caved.
Yeah, you caved and you stay with me because it's cheaper and you get to annoy me.
So that's like an additional bonus.
Motherfucker, I got home last night.
I call this home now.
And he fucking pounds on the door.
I thought I could have been masturbating.
It was 10 o'clock.
Yeah.
He wanted to hang out.
Prime jerk hours.
Pounds on the door.
Did he just knock?
I did not pound it on it.
I knocked.
I knocked.
Big ass clobber.
No respect.
I was watching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He pounded on the door.
I knocked on the door and I said, Austin, like, what's up?
I'm back.
Like, do you want to hang out?
No, I know.
And I, and I said, yes, and I came and hung out with you.
That's true.
We sat on the couch and talked.
Yeah, we just shot the shit.
I don't remember what we talked about.
What are we talking about?
Yeah, right.
They told secrets and now they don't want to tell me anything.
Yeah, secrets.
We just mostly talked about cutie, I think.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah, how much we love her.
How I deserve more PTO.
Just like, she's so hot.
You should go to Australia again.
No, I wanted to talk about.
Okay, we have some Taylor Swift, but I'll save it to the end so then the listeners don't skip.
You can just end the podcast early.
No one does that.
We love when you talk to Taylor Shaw.
They do.
No, it's a cliffhanger.
So for all you tailors.
Can I talk some shit?
Yeah, you can.
Yeah.
On Not Taylor Swift, on some of our commenters, I got a hate thread in our comments on an episode I wasn't even on.
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
Wait, what were they saying?
They were like, were they making up?
Were they bringing up valid points?
No, no.
They were like, they were like, oh, wow.
The longest, like, this is the quietest or this.
Cutie talked a normal amount this episode because I wasn't in the episode.
And they, it's a funny joke.
That's a funny joke.
I liked that joke.
But then the comments are like, yeah, thank God she wasn't here.
And I'm like, I'm on PTO.
I'm on PTO.
Leave me alone.
You're so insane that you looked at a funny comment.
I don't think that's your fault.
I think the cutie rider dies have been very divisive in the chat.
What does that mean?
I think your fans are always like, shut the fuck up.
Will you?
Fucking stupid idiot.
God, Austin's so fucking dumb.
I wish Cutie would talk more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think the cutie rider dies are divisive.
So they, so in the same way that like most stands generate opposition, the cutie fans generated their own hate thread.
I'm not gonna.
Those are our fans fighting.
I'm actually not gonna tell them to chill.
I want you guys to get worse.
What?
What?
Get out there.
No!
Double down.
All of our fans should love one another.
No, I'm telling all of our fans.
Don't be if someone hasn't a Hassan PFP, tell them that I'm staying out of this.
My fans like everybody.
Start bringing up people's mothers.
Your fans like everybody.
In this podcast, yes, they do.
Yeah, unless you're white.
What?
What are you saying?
Everyone here is white.
I'm just kidding.
What are you talking about?
No.
No, I think that the Hasanabi fear and heads are they quite enjoy every single other person.
As a matter of fact, they probably enjoy other, you guys more than they enjoy me.
No, that's not true.
They loved you.
That's 100% true.
They fucking ride for you guys way harder than they ride for me.
Let's be real.
They're the ones that are always like, oh, yeah, Hasan should talk louder than you.
Well, Cutie, I'm sorry there's hanging.
Well, my fans don't even watch this podcast because I don't talk.
This is why they attack us.
You feed them.
You feed them live.
She's Taylor Swifting.
She's Taylor Swifting.
She's giving them like breadcrumbs to follow.
Breadcar gaslighting about Jojo Siwa.
Oh.
Oh, let's spice things up.
My ex freaking go.
Yeah, who is your dream podcast guest?
Let's spice things up.
My ex.
You didn't do the run.
You have no idea what we're talking about.
Fucking so bad to be included.
I suck.
Okay.
I have tea and I have drama on top of that.
Whatever, what you're going to talk about.
I love tea and drama about something else.
Explain it to everybody.
Jojo Siwa has a new song that came out, a new album.
Who's Jojo Siva first?
Jojo Siwa is from Dance Moms.
Yup.
And she used to slay bitch, but then she slayed a little too close to the sun and just kind of became a little evil bitch.
A little bit, admittedly.
A little bit.
She hates homosexuals.
That's what it is.
No, She's homosexual.
No, no, no.
I'm saying cutie hates homosexuals.
Oh, he's projecting.
She's gay.
And she like cheated on her girlfriend.
Oh, and dirty.
She, I don't know.
I don't know all of the stuff.
I've been educated a little bit, but she's like still friends with like James Charles and Colleen Banger.
Yes, that's the one I want to talk about.
And like, and it's just like she invited Colleen Ballinger, right?
Is that am I saying her name right?
Toxic gossip train woman who has like obviously done a whole bunch of stuff, and including James Charles as well.
Again, allegedly done a whole bunch of stuff with minors, with minors, which is interesting because Jojo's a lot of times I will say, she was a minor.
So it's called a lot of people.
A little bit of like a no, but she was a minor as a famous person.
I think her kid crush was.
Yeah, so she was anyway.
So she was on dance moms, and then she's like, people notoriously kind of like are mean to JoJo because she has glitter and bows and she's overly confident and overly cringe.
And people, it makes people a little mad.
Besides all of the, you know, her relationships and people she knows, besides all of that, people have been mad at her for like a long time because of the glitter and the bows and stuff like that.
Which I would say glitter and bows isn't a reason to hate someone, but they have.
People have, whatever.
And she got a car with her face all over it when she was 16.
Yeah, it's a Lamborghini Urus, isn't it?
She might not have been 16, but she posted it.
And this was kind of like the first wave of like JoJo hate.
Is she posted this picture of this car and Justin Bieber commented on it and he was like, burn it.
Wait, what?
Justin Bieber?
I thought he was on some possibilities.
That's a testimony.
My man is so bass.
That is kind of cool that you said that because that is valid.
Yeah, I think that's the one.
That's the most valid Justin Bieber has been.
Yeah.
I mean, that's insane.
That's ridiculous.
That car is awful.
That's awful.
Why would you want your face on your car?
Well, you guys are listening.
I've sat here and I've started to think bigger picture.
I wonder, because everyone's like, hey, she might have the worst PR team in the world.
Because also her new music video that's coming out, it's awful.
She's saying, I'm a bad girl, but then she's also like, I effed around instead of just saying fuck.
Like, it's supposed to be her coming of age.
It's supposed to be her from like out of like trying to.
I would like to make that very clear.
No one has ever Miley Cyrus harder than Miley Cyrus.
Exactly.
Oh, yeah.
That's why I turned from like hand in Montana to like taking a lot of the ecstasy.
And they publicly just always being on axe.
And then, and then she was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do country again.
Yeah.
She became a crystal mommy.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I fucking love Miley Cyrus.
Yeah, she's great.
She's good.
So, so JoJo's doing this thing, and the music sounds pretty awful.
And the styling of the outfits looks like WWE.
Yeah, it's weird.
Can we look at that as well, Mark?
Yeah, it's Karma's a bitch, right?
I'm going to make Marge pull a lot of stuff today to test out his endurance after flying for like 14 hours.
He did just get home from Tokyo.
He just got home.
And I told him, why are you?
So recently.
He uttered into the blackness.
Yeah.
Well, the reason why is because I was like, why didn't you come yesterday?
And he's like, bro, we can, we've, we've always want to hear the volume on this real quick.
We'll just cut it out.
I want them to hear.
We'll cut this part out.
Play.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pause it for a second.
Is that what's her name?
Dove something?
Dove Cameron?
I don't think so.
None of us know.
We're old.
No, no, no, you skipped the chorus.
Yeah, play that shit.
You really, he's our JoJo head over here.
All right, there you go.
Pause.
That is Dove Cameron.
I was right.
I don't think that is.
I think so.
Yeah.
So now you guys know what it is, what it sounds like.
She's dressed kind of like she's in Kiss.
Yeah.
So she did a red carpet.
How old is she?
She's 20 now.
Okay.
I think, I believe.
Okay.
She did a red carpet and she wore that same outfit.
Everyone was like, girl, what is going on?
And this whole time, I'm like, okay.
It's not Dove Cameron.
She's just like a look-alike.
Does she not look like her?
Who is this Dove Cameron?
She's a really pretty girl.
She's another like American singer.
Anyway, sorry.
Go on.
Okay.
So she keeps doing these interviews and everyone's thinking about this and they're like, okay, transitioning from being a child to being an adult.
What a bad team she has.
Why would they do it this way?
Right?
Like, why don't they just have her take the fucking ponytail out, do like a raw acoustic type of track that's like, whoa, what the heck?
I didn't know.
I didn't know she had that type of talent, you know, like, but instead it's just like, what is going on?
Devil's advocate.
She might not have that type of talent.
I know.
That's what I think.
And so my big zoom out is I actually think that maybe her PR team or her team or whatever is fucking genius because it's so bad.
All of us are just talking about it.
Even to the point she does her album release party, posts a picture with Colleen.
I'll tell you what.
I've never seen more comments farmed quicker than is that Colleen?
Is that Colleen?
Is that Colleen?
Is that Cole?
And I'm like, so they're, they're farming.
Because she's a TikTok.
She's a TikTok mostly.
And it's the music video header.
She's a TikTok.
She's a TikTok mostly.
Oh, my.
The faster comments, the better.
Youngest person in the room often, which is wild because I'm by far the oldest.
I just skipped her.
She's a TikToker.
She's completely lost.
I mean, to be fair, Austin does live life like an 84-year-old.
Like, I thought JoJo Siwa was like on one of those.
I thought Jojo Siwa was on one of those beauty pageant shows.
Taught herself.
Well, technically, yes.
Dance moms.
It's dance moms, so you're not like super off base on it.
What was it?
Abby Lee Miller.
Abby Lee Miller.
Some people are speculating that she kind of talks like her now.
What do you think about that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
She's got the Abby Lee Miller cadence.
Huh.
I mean, if so, I mean, you know, abuse is cyclical, it seems.
Unfortunately.
Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Yeah.
Jojo, very cringe, still very cringe, but now an adult.
So it just like makes it more acceptable to dump on her.
It's weird.
It's so I think, I think like all of this bad stuff is actually calculated.
And maybe I'm giving too much credit, but I just can't imagine it being that bad without it being calculated.
Because it has 10 million views.
Her music video has 10 million views.
I have an interesting video.
That's not that much.
I think for a music video?
No, I think 10 million views is a lot of views for me.
No, go to like, go to the video.
How long has it been?
Yeah, that's a lot.
That's a lot for a music video of two days.
Yeah.
That is a good number for two days.
That's a good number for two days.
11 million.
I have an interesting take where it's like, I think when you're making content for kids, it's completely acceptable to be cringe.
Because kids don't have that kind of shame reflex that we all have developed by being traumatized for years in our life.
And bullied.
Yeah, there's an innocence and a joy and a willing to have fun there.
So I don't mind her early content at all.
But when you start making content for adults, that same cringe element, I don't know if it's going to play as well.
I mean, the thing is, is it's making her so much money.
Like the song is trending.
She's already gigabucks right now.
Because people are making fun of it.
She's already gigabucks right now.
So she went on Nick Viles Vival's podcast.
He's from like The Bachelor and he has this podcast now where he interviews a bunch of random people like JoJo.
So maybe we could get JoJo on Fear and we could try everybody.
Would you guys like that?
I think Jojo.
I think we need to start getting celebrities on our podcast.
Okay.
That's brave of you, Austin.
Yeah, that's a good take, man.
With all the enthusiasm of drawing blood.
I think we should start.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
No, I was holding us back from a PR person now.
So remember?
You can't get Chuck Norris.
I know him.
Chuck Norris.
I've got a picture with him on my Instagram.
What?
Go to my Instagram, Marsh.
No.
Scroll the way to the bottom.
Marsh is on PTO.
My man said we got to get younger.
We got to get celebrities.
His first offer-up was Chuck Norris.
You want an 800-year-old man to come on the podcast?
Talk to us about Walker, Texas Ranger.
So.
He's got a new water.
Called Sea Force.
Anyway, Nick.
Nick on his podcast was talking to JoJo, and he's kind of like, yo, how are you dealing with the hate?
Go ahead, cutie.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Please.
How are you doing with the hate?
No, hold on.
Right before you get started.
A new water called Sea Force.
Hold on.
We're just going to let that go.
Cutie, I don't want it.
I'm more shocked that you've been following up on Chuck Norris's life.
Where did you learn about this?
Why do you fucking know that?
I know his.
You literally are an 84-year-old man.
You live in the Frankie Valley in the four seasons.
You have no culture.
Marsh, pull up Sea Force water, please.
Like, I don't even know if that shit's on the internet, bro.
That's like, he only saw it in a newspaper ad.
Chuck Norris doesn't even advertise on the internet.
Wait, if it, guys, come on.
You don't need to.
He's worried about us hurting his relationship with Chuck Norris.
Oh, my God.
Sea Force.
What's special about it, Marsh?
Look up, go to the website.
I'm telling you, it's great water.
Chuck Force.
It's great water.
You've got to get away from me.
You had a drink and chat a little bit.
I'm going to go to the bathroom with Sea Force.
Yeah.
Are you?
Starting Some Drama 00:09:42
Guys, we need to go back to Seattle.
Do you actually know Chuck Norris?
I've met him.
I literally have a photo with him on my phone.
But that's different than like fucking knowing him.
Like literally in front of his house, I have a photo of him.
Austin, stop droop feeding the information.
Do you know?
Do you know Chuck Norris or not?
I don't know him personally.
I've met him a couple of times.
Why have you met him a couple of times?
Because I knew his grandson.
Why didn't you just start off with that?
Well, I don't know.
If you could get Chuck Norris, we will all drink Sea Force the entire episode.
Okay.
That'd be pretty bad last time.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
I'm not going to forget about this.
You said you could get Chuck.
I didn't say that.
Every week that you don't get Chuck on the show, at this point, you are going to have to do a punishment on the podcast that I will devise.
They will start small and they will get increasingly more draconian.
Well, hold up, but this is a great idea.
Norris, I can't get.
I didn't say I could.
I said I could call him.
You did say you could.
You said you could.
What?
You just said you could.
It's on camera.
Gaslighting.
I don't know why you're saying it.
It's on camera.
So how are you going to call him?
Hold on, chat.
Defend me.
I did not say that.
There's no chat.
No one in the comments is going to defend you on.
Cutie, we need to go back to JoJo's.
No, I was holding us back from.
Who could I call?
Yeah, who could you get on?
Well, we do have a PR person now, so remember?
You can't get Chuck Norris.
I know him.
I don't think so.
No, no, no.
Go back to Joe Justice.
No, you wanted to chirp while she was bringing up a news story.
No, you need to get the punishment.
You said, Who can you get you just trying to water?
I think we should.
Hold on, I can't get Chuck Norris.
Maybe we can get a sponsorship of Sea Force.
That's true.
I don't think we can get that either.
Go ahead, Cutie.
Finish your story.
No, go ahead.
You know, keep cooking.
Let the comment section be known.
I'm a champion for cutie trying to get her to talk.
You can't win them back.
Listen, here's the thing.
Increasing punishments until the ultimate Austin punishment, which we've discussed before.
Which is eating ass on camera?
No.
You will take a flight from wherever you are to here.
Okay.
Spirit airline.
Oh, yeah.
Back middle.
Okay.
And I will pay two very large bodybuilders from Austin to sit on either side of you in the play.
And you will document your experience.
That is awesome.
And I will hate it.
Every moment of it because there's no direct form.
Who are you going to call, Austin?
What?
To get, you said, I can call.
You said I can't get him on, but I can call him.
I don't know.
I don't have his number.
I'm just.
Why did you, why did you lie with a lie?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Sometimes I just lie.
You are taking that spirit air flight.
Okay.
And then for the rest of the year, you will fly.
That's too much.
You will pay.
You know who would bitch more about that than me?
Hassan Piker.
There's no way.
I'm six foot four.
Yeah.
240 pounds.
You're a weenie.
No, it would be way worse for me because I physically can't fit.
You're deflecting away from your own responsibility.
What about Jojo Siwa?
She went on a podcast.
She went on Nick Vale's podcast.
She went on Nick Vale's podcast.
And he was like, Do you feel bad about people making fun of you?
And she was like, No, it's fine.
Like, James Charles posted a video making fun of me, but he called and asked me first, which is kind of interesting because it's like, you shouldn't, if you're calling an ass, maybe you shouldn't do it.
It's interesting because she's no longer underage.
So why does he even still have her number?
Jesus Christ, I'm just no, I didn't realize.
Dude, I didn't realize that was too touchy of a subject.
Just came off the top rope.
Yeah.
But then, friend of the podcast, Tana Mojo, she said she had beef with her.
What?
Okay.
And I'm just watching.
I'm like, you can't have beef with Tana.
Yeah, I'm on Tana's side.
I'm team Tana, baby.
But I guess Tana also posted a video making fun of her.
Oh, Tana.
Well, can we watch Tana's video?
Tana making fun of Jojo so we can agree with her.
But it does, Tana could do anything.
I'm sorry.
Tana, I love Tana so much.
Tana could show up to my house and steal my everything.
And I'd she could kill me.
Do you need a bag for that?
What?
Huh?
Say what?
Nothing.
Wait, why are you guys so on board with Tana?
I love her.
Because we had her on our podcast.
What is that?
That's Marsh's playlist.
He accidentally pushed play.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Because we had Tana on our podcast, so we never got to meet Tana.
So she was nice.
She was wonderful.
What were you doing on that day?
My fucking life.
He was on PGF.
He was fucking busy being the biggest motherfucker on the platform.
That's what he was doing.
Oh, okay.
I would have known.
I wouldn't know what that feels like.
You train your floral.
I do.
I've started training.
Four arms.
Yeah.
Nice.
Toma's a bitch.
Need to know better.
Something, something.
I should have nfed around.
Yeah, she likes it.
It's cashy.
See?
Oh, my God.
They're getting to you.
I think it's like, what is it?
Is it like cringe?
Like, the gays love a train wreck, and maybe white women too.
Friday, Friday.
That's Rebecca Black.
That girl was 14 when she made that song.
Yeah, but it worked.
We all know it.
And she is kind of like, I think she is now iconic to the gays as well, though.
I think that's that's what it is.
I don't know if the gays will claim Jojo, and she is gay.
Yeah, all right, let's hear.
Oh, is that fucking what's his face?
Yeah, the germaphobe we talked to.
That's what we were talking about Jojo about.
Yeah, and so I had Trisha on and I was like, was letting her know.
I feel like she hasn't had a lot of real friends, especially female friends in this industry.
And I was like, I really want to let you know I'm here for you, and I really don't like that situation.
And I really have your back.
And then a couple days after that episode, we because Brooke and I are on tour, so we kind of have to stack our podcast episodes, like you know, a couple months in it or weeks, months, whatever in advance.
And so we have Jojo on, and then I guess a week later, she comes on with you guys, and then she just had a bunch of stuff to say, Jojo, that it just like it looked so bad.
I think, because I think that, you know, having Jojo on and being, you know, buddy-buddy with her after she kind of said some stuff that directly negates Trisha.
So yeah, then your episode came out.
My opinion.
I don't know any of this drama.
I filmed it.
It was a video of her dancing.
Just going to be a good friend of Trisha.
I might be like, is that the guy from America's Got Talent?
Howie?
Howie Mandel.
Howie Mandela.
Yeah.
Is he in the drama now?
Guys, Howie Mandela's a big-time podcaster now.
I think Ethan played a role in the podcast of all of these individuals.
But anyway, go ahead.
Why aren't we involved in any of the drama?
I'm going to start some drama right now.
I don't do drama.
Well, I do find it entertaining.
And all of these people are talking about each other, and no one's talking about us.
I don't like being involved.
I'm going to start rumors.
You would crumble like an old folding chair.
You can't deal with like a small minority.
I want Tana to make fun of me.
Who love you?
Something negative.
You think you could handle it?
No drama.
We can't.
Yeah, but they look like they're having some fun talking about each other's podcasts and talking about each other.
Kitty can't even get on an airplane.
To be frank with everyone here.
Howie, put me on your podcast.
As a veteran.
I don't talk shit on someone.
As the veteran of drama, both podcast and also off-podcast, alike, that Coke Zero clip made it on the Sky News Australia, by the way.
Fucking a million views.
Wait, were we in it?
No.
The Coke Zero clip when I was in Australia.
I thought it was Diaco.
I'm going to tell you right now, it's not good.
It doesn't feel good.
Okay.
But they look like they're all.
Will is absolutely right.
Neither of you will be able to handle the smoke.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with my smoothie.
But no one is peaceful.
I say with peace and love.
Peace and love.
I love everybody of all orientations and races.
One time, Maya was like, Whine About It should be, or no, it was me.
I said to Maya, I said, Whine About It should be more like canceled because they're two hot girls and we aren't that.
And so we want to be that.
So you wanted to become hot?
Like, yeah.
And then the first episode I pulled up of canceled, Tana, Tana goes to somebody and she goes, Who do you hate the most in this industry?
And it was the sickest fucking question in the world.
So I just want to be more like her.
So you want to, you want whine about it?
I just don't keep talking about you.
I'm so tired all the time.
You're probably right.
Yeah, you've already folded.
Yeah.
I'm really tired.
I could start fake drama.
Yeah, do it.
Who do you hate?
Like Hassan.
Dak Shepard.
Fuck you and your fucking podcast, dumbass.
Okay, no, like we need podcast.
Okay, I like this.
We need podcast beef.
We need to create one.
Let's just go after the yard.
Oh, no, it's a good idea when he says it.
No, I, yeah, no, no, I think it's terrible.
Let's just not.
Let's go.
The yard is okay.
We can go after the yard.
Fuck the yard.
I mean, but that's already established.
We hate the yard.
Yeah, because the yards.
Dropouts.
The yard just ends up.
Tari, yummy, you're cute and small.
I'll put you in my podcast.
Probably a club meeting too, don't they?
And Hassan.
You know what?
Kitty, here's the beef.
What?
They don't attack us enough on the yard.
They don't care about us.
We are no one to them.
Are you kidding me?
Ludwig?
We don't.
Ludwig literally said, Ludwig and Nick literally said to me yesterday, we need to do a trade.
We need to do a podcast draft.
Oh, I do want to do a podcast draft where we put everybody's name in a hat and then we pull names.
At random, a draft would be organized pick.
Gundam Finale Plans 00:03:59
So it would probably be Hassan and Ludwig.
Yeah.
Picking.
Well, you'd find out where you fall on a depth chart.
Oh, don't look at me like that.
The interesting thing is, I feel very comfortable about where I'd be drafted.
Yeah, do you?
Yeah.
No, no, I know I'd be drafted last.
What would you bring to the table?
I would really being told how much you hate us and what a drawback we are.
No, I would be drafted.
I couldn't tell if you were talking about Austin or Cutie on that one, actually.
Yeah, both of them.
I would be drafted last, and I would be like Russell Wilson in the sixth round, come up, win a Super Bowl.
Broncos country, let's ride.
Yeah, where has your Russell Wilson moment been here so far?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hold on.
I'm sorry.
When you bring Chuck Norris, when you bring Chuck Norris, look, we're at an hour.
No, we're not.
I'm just kidding.
We're at an hour.
But you said that very aggressively this week, Marge.
Do you want us to be done?
You found yourself in Tokyo?
He's brave now.
Last thing I want to talk about.
What there was one other thing you did to really hurt our chances of going on that trip, and you know what it was.
What was that?
You canceled the Tokyo Lego.
Yeah.
Well, I canceled Tokyo Lego the trip because I thought you weren't going to come.
So he was like, I'm not going to leave for 14 days.
You never said I wasn't going to come.
I was always asking for when you booked your flight.
You did say you weren't going to come.
I said I didn't give a shit about Australia.
Yeah.
Which to this day, let me go on the record.
Australians with peace and love, peace and love.
I don't give a shit.
It was very, I don't agree with him.
I know Australians feel the same way.
If an Australian's going to go on holiday, they don't go to the fucking United States because it's the same fucking thing.
That's not true.
A lot of Australians come here.
Yeah, especially during the day.
They would rather go somewhere nice.
Because we have different seasons.
So, like, when it's winter, it's summer here.
So they come to me.
Do we have a fucking Gundam?
Do you know they decommissioned?
They decommissioned the Gundam in Tokyo.
We could have gone to the finale of the Gundam.
I don't know what the fucking Gundam.
March, how good was Tokyo on a scale of one to 10?
Was it better than the last times you've been?
Do you know what a mech is?
Do you know what a mobile?
No, a mech.
Do you know what a mobile suit is?
He doesn't.
Mobile what?
Why are you putting this on me?
A mech suit?
Yeah.
I'm looking around to see if there is one in this room right now.
Well, I just want to let it be known that you stole my heart from me.
I was looking forward to that Japan leg.
When?
Okay, this is your Chuck Norris moment.
When are we going to Thailand?
I've already worked on it.
Okay.
I've lined up a gym that we can live in.
I have a two-week band that will chuck him there.
When?
Give us a few months.
When works for you.
But I've been doing all the research.
I have it all lined up.
And at the end, we'll prize fight each other.
This is what is this like the Statue of Liberty?
It's except way sicker.
Wait, this is so sick.
It's a transfer.
They decommissioned it the week that March in Japan.
It's done.
March, did you go see it?
They're never doing shows again.
They're taking it down.
Oh.
Oh my God.
Was this in Tokyo?
The week.
This was the last week after years of it.
Why do they just keep it up?
Because it's very expensive.
Oh, it doesn't have to move.
The Statue of Liberty doesn't move.
Yeah.
Yeah, but the Statue of Liberty is bitch-made compared to the Gundam.
Wait, the Gundam is so much cooler.
And I don't even like Mecca.
But as he said, turn on the volume.
They have an orchestra playing today.
I think you just watch it, Austin.
Okay, so like, what is it?
Does it just take a knee?
It does a lot of stuff.
But they have different observation decks.
Yeah, is this a protest?
Yeah, he's a BLM.
But yeah, Thailand is happening whether you go or not.
What do you mean, what are I going on?
I said I was down to do it.
All right, we're going to be doing it.
I was down to do it in a couple of weeks.
Landlord Tenant Issues 00:02:08
All right.
We're going to the Patreon episode where I'm going to talk about...
Maybe we shouldn't talk about what I'm going to talk about.
No one's going to come.
No, I'm starting a new business and we're talking about Taylor Swift.
Cutie, listen.
I want to put something to rest.
I don't want to hear it.
You are a valuable member of this podcast and we appreciate you and your topic.
But if Tana asked me to be on canceled one time, I'm leaving your asses.
Oh, sorry.
Why do I ever build you up?
That's insane.
Why do I even try?
She's perfect.
You know why do you know what she just will see you at the draft and you can do it last?
That's crazy.
See you there.
And then she's like, and I was like, I have a crazy question.
How much do you pay for rent?
Because I was considering renting a place right over there.
And she snaps at me.
And she goes, that is a highly inappropriate question to ask.
Oh, my God.
And I was like, I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I had no clue.
I thought we could all work together.
I thought it was good information to have.
She was like, you could be ruining some landlord-tenant relationships.
And I was like, I'm so sorry.
Wait, what?
Was she the landlord herself?
No.
She was a tenant.
Wait, why is it?
Why is a tenant should wait?
The only relationship she's ruining is for the landlord.
She's basically going to out the landlord at charging different prices for the unit.
She doesn't want to do that, though.
But why?
People are so cucked.
It was crazy.
And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
I was like, I'm sorry.
I thought we hated landlords.
And we were all standing against.
I was joking, right?
I was like, oh, I thought no one likes landlords.
And so I thought it'd be nice to be on the same page, making sure I wasn't getting taken advantage of.
Did you take that?
So she was going to get mad?
She goes, if you can't afford what they're charging, you shouldn't fill out the application.
Oh, my God.
I would have ripped her up once.
What is her business?
I would like to know.
Cutie Cinderella, I will let you right now.
Know right now, if someone spoke to me like that, I would shit in their business.
Really?
Yeah.
That is the most insane.
Is that crazy?
I mean, I hope her fucking business fails and she disappoints her entire family.
No one else on this block is going to tell you.
And I said, they already
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