WillNeff and Austin dissect fashion faux pas, marathon frustrations, and political absurdities ranging from RFK Jr.'s campaign to Boeing 737 MAX media narratives. They pivot to dog party logistics involving Farley's refusal due to a past collision with Kaya, debate internet slang like "selfish top," and joke about hiring impersonators for their dog's birthday. Ultimately, the episode blends chaotic personal anecdotes with broader cultural critiques, highlighting the hosts' tendency to merge trivial grievances with serious societal observations in a seamless, unfiltered dialogue. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Fit Check: League Scamming00:07:32
Are the good parts the parts where you get complimented on your fit?
Will Will likes it?
I do.
I like the pants and the boots a ton.
Yeah.
10 out of 10.
I like it.
He's not sure about the shirt.
No, I didn't say that.
I just, I said the pants and the boots are fire.
I like every part of you.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are back on the greatest episode, greatest podcast of all time.
You're and definitely much better than wine about it.
Oh, for sure.
Definitely.
Everyone is always saying that to me.
Random people will come up to me in the streets and will be like, dude.
That podcast chugs dick.
Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
No, they don't.
They want to, but they can't.
We love chugging dick.
No, I'm talking about our podcast.
Oh, we also love chugging dick.
That's right.
We fucking chug dick.
Like a chug jug.
I had the funniest Marsh.
I don't know if you saw this, but the yard.
The yard, slime got Marsh and Broden mixed up.
And then he just, and then someone is like, someone is like, oh, no, you're talking about Marsh.
And he goes, Marsh, yeah, I don't fuck with him.
Oh, my God.
It was the most random stray in the entire world, but it's pretty funny.
Anyway, that's a random podcast.
That's right.
We're putting out a hit on slime.
I hate to do it to him, but you come after our fucking boy.
Marsh.
Marsh says he likes.
He's saying he likes slime because he's in the victim's light right now.
He's scared of the bald man's prowess and willpower.
All right, I got to address the elephant of the room.
What the fuck are you wearing right now, dude?
What is happening?
I feel that's the elephant.
I have so many goddamn talking points.
I have things that I want to say.
I wanted to talk about Will wearing this fit, but like that just blew everybody out of the water.
Thank you.
What happened?
I went to New York City.
I went to New York City.
Yeah, and he shopped at that local store in New York City, Zara.
Okay, look.
No, that's not.
Nothing like a New York slice of Sabara.
This is all Zara.
That's Zara.
The pants are Zara.
This is Zara.
This is Zara.
The boots are Doc Martins.
Zara's got it like that?
Yeah, no.
I was like, man, I don't want to spend...
I went to Nordstrom and I was like, this is too expensive.
So I went to Zara.
I'm in awe.
For those of you at home listening, Austin is currently wearing like a purplish fishnet that actually could be a two-piece or I don't know if it's like actually connected.
No, it's not connected.
Oversized, old, withered, stonewashed, gray.
You make it sound bad.
No, It's good.
I mean, these are, this is like, that is deliberately beat it up.
Withered and in.
Yeah.
Everything is oversized.
The only thing he needs to change is his hair.
I think like your hair is still screaming.
Like your hair is still saying, I'm a nice guy.
Whereas like everything else is saying you're a fucking.
What do you want him to do?
But honestly, Hassan, I'm not.
Are you ready for this?
Are you ready for this?
I'm turning into that like TikTok mew jaw maxing guy who takes people to Mogworts.
I don't know if you guys know what I'm talking about.
Nope.
Bye-bye.
Like play that music in the post.
Okay.
Play that music.
Yo, play that shit.
Yo, DJ, play that shit.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
So here's what I'm envisioning.
And I want, Will, I need your advice on this as well.
Austin, Buzz Cut.
Goes blonde.
Bro, I don't have enough hair for that.
Buzz cut goes blonde.
Doesn't matter.
That actually saves you.
No, it doesn't.
No, you wait until not like super tight.
Low fade, low taper fade.
Okay.
All the way to the buzz cut.
Okay, blonde.
He's now blonde.
Okay.
He grows out the beard a little bit too.
Just a little bit of a bigger damage.
Do I dye the beard blonde?
Nah, dude, I have a totally different idea.
Okay, what's that?
Cornrows.
Oh.
To distract people from your old discretions.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, they'll be like, oh, there's a new thing now.
Okay, cool.
Perfect.
Yeah, no, my hair, but I'm very limited on what I can do.
I like your hair.
I'm limited on what I can do with my hair.
It looks good because it doesn't suit the fuckboy aesthetic that you're going through.
I like your hair.
Okay, okay.
So I, oh, thank you, Will.
But, but Hassan, maybe I, I mean, Hassan, can I make a suggestion?
Sure.
Grow it out a little.
Yeah.
Hard part.
Okay.
Ooh, that's like.
See, this is why I need your hell.
I need it more length.
You're saying that.
Judy, what do you think?
I think you're beautiful.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
I'm going to be thrown to you so much more.
Judy's scamming.
I'm scamming?
Yeah, she keeps keeping the tag on her jacket because she's going to return it.
I'm not going to return it.
Are you for real right now?
I thought that was based.
The tag is on it.
You haven't gotten around to take a dose.
Well, I wasn't going to wear the jacket, but my tummy's sticking out of this more than I would like.
Oh, my gosh.
No, the jacket.
Oh, no.
I knew she was scamming.
Did you see her reaction?
No.
She said she was too lazy to remove it.
I knew she was scamming.
For those that want to know, it's fake.
It's not real for.
Of course it's not real.
Just want to let you know, just in case.
PETA.
Cutie looks great.
You look great.
You look like Corella Deville.
On the wetness scale, like a two.
Yeah, you are remarkably not wet today.
Did you know?
Did you use a blow dryer?
Yeah, I used a blow dryer.
But the problem is because my hair breaks so much, but I put oil in it.
So my hair kind of looks damp even when I need help from the girlies because why am I using the wrong oil?
No, I think it's because you bleach the shit out of it.
Oh, okay, cool.
No, don't.
That's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ow.
Okay, second elephant in the room.
Will, what the fuck are you wearing, big dog?
What's happening here?
You got, I mean, it looks cozy as hell.
Don't get me wrong.
No disrespect, but like the ballic.
Life comes at you so fast.
Yesterday I got a vampire facial.
So my face is a little red.
I'm also protecting it from UV rays.
Okay.
Wait for real?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Wait, that's awesome.
Wait, how did you like it?
I get them all the time.
Damn.
You get vampire facials all the time.
Will and I, I think of the group, I think Will and I do the most cosmetic.
I'm 15 years old, and I do, I do like a teenager's job.
I got to keep it real.
Yeah, 100%.
100%.
I got a scrotal tuck.
Scrodle knife.
Okay.
Shut the fuck up.
No, no.
Have you hopped and tucking?
How long are your balls?
How do I tuck my scrotuck?
I'm sorry.
Explain further.
Explain the scrotal tuck.
I mean, they just take some length.
He just lied up.
Dude, my man's balls, the balls of a baby.
Okay.
His balls looking like mine when I was a fetus.
Also, smooth.
Last night, I didn't sleep much because I won 16 games of League of Legends in a row.
Yeah.
Will's like, man.
Fucking God.
Will goes.
Will goes, man, I'm not feeling too great lately.
I'm feeling kind of sad.
And then I raid Nessawa and his title is playing League with Will Neff.
And I was like, hey, dude, baby, don't do that.
I got to make my friends rent.
You know what I mean?
You literally call league depression.
Yeah.
That's your term for it.
That if you lose, I'm up good.
I like playing league when I'm sad.
I'm not kidding you.
I actually like it.
Amanda Bynes Presidential Run00:15:01
I like the energy of a Train Regs TV watcher.
Being like 99% of league watchers stop before they hit it, baby.
because like like actually riot's method for keeping you hooked and the same goes for valoran as well is is exactly that it's just like the highs are so good and the lows are so so bad but like i feel like they give you just enough yeah to keep you hooked 15 games in a row is insane we were dialed in You're hooked hooked for 60.
My man's responsible for also my man's responsible Adderall shortage out here.
My boy Ness was said he was taking a little time off and he came back to streaming and I saw he was doing good numbers and I was like, hey, let's just, let's just roll that train.
Oh, so you're helping, you're helping.
Well, I was also enjoying the fact that Ness was playing out of his mouth.
We were both like, we hit that sweet spot where we could not lose.
Yeah.
I felt like I was a god playing with toys.
I haven't hit that in years.
It was, it was kind of sexy.
The other thing that I would like to talk about.
So I wore this fit kind of as a meme, right?
Because I feel like this fit on a podcast is immediately incendiary.
I wanted to see if we could pimp the thumbnail, but also I don't know if you guys know this.
The LA marathon's happening today.
I did not either.
I was protesting the LA marathon.
No.
And I'll tell you what.
My driver panicked and he kept trying to go through the marathon and he pulled up to it and he's like, man, you got to get out.
I was like, what?
He's like, you got to walk across the marathon.
Okay.
Call an Uber on the other side.
You want to know what makes people really uncomfortable at a marathon?
A dude in a fucking ski mask walking across the marathon.
Yeah, I would have this.
I literally just stopped.
No, I didn't get stopped.
People ran away from me.
But I was like, I got halfway through and I was like, I'm not here to do terrorism.
I had a vampire.
He's like, guys, I'm white.
I'm white.
I'm white.
Except in West Hollywood, during the fucking LA marathon, being a white guy with a ball of lava puts you in higher, like you're more likely to be the one doing that.
No, but I actually felt terrible.
I actually felt terrible because like I didn't even, I slept for like 20 minutes.
I didn't even think.
I hopped out of an escalade.
I hopped out of an escalade and just started walking across the island.
Let's run away from me.
In a ski mask.
Oh, cutie.
Now would be out.
Yeah, we would be.
We would be out.
We would actually ditch each other.
Yeah, we would be out.
I like it.
It just didn't cross my mind.
And I was like, oh my God, Ludwig was supposed to run that.
That is exactly the type of shit he would do.
Oh, my God.
He's such a cheese sample.
Whoa.
Whoa, that's my strongest.
Let's do it, friend.
Let's fucking talk about marathons.
We ran a half marathon.
Let's talk about fucking marathons.
Let's get into it.
And how unacceptable they are.
Get that shit to a beach.
Take that shit to a high school gymnasium with your little ass.
With a tracker.
What a fucking track.
I'm going to take it one step further.
Don't take them anywhere.
Fuck marathons.
Cancel them all.
Wow.
You're full-blown anti-marathon.
I'm fine.
What the fuck is the point?
We're just going to run until we're sick?
No.
It's over.
When Vice President Rogers is in office, he's going to take care of this day one.
Yes, dude.
I'm so stoked on that.
We're going to talk about that.
Don't move off marathons before.
But yeah, let's get back because I have a lot of smoke for this.
Yeah, let's get it.
I think there is nothing more.
I think there's nothing more fucking annoying than being like, oh yeah, we have gathered the most annoying do-gooders of all time.
Because I've never met like a piece of shit that runs a marathon.
It's always some motherfucker with a calendar and is like, oh, I'm running because my best friend's dog has cancer.
Like they're all good people.
And I fucking hate that.
All of you fucking do-good, do-gooder-ass sons of bitches with your fucking physically fit bodies and you're running this fucking marathon and you're making it my goddamn problem.
I don't want to fucking think about running for that long.
I don't want you to fucking shut down infrastructure.
It's bullshit.
Is there a way to make marathons cooler?
Like if there's a slip and slide in the middle?
Okay, I'm listening.
No, I'm not listening.
There's got to be a lot of meditation.
I'm going to go.
It's not the worst idea.
You very quickly came up with like a slippy side.
Okay.
Speak on that.
This is what I think happens.
I think we start the marathon at the tippity top of the mountain we have here in LA by the Hollywood sign.
Okay.
And then you have to slip and slide down.
And then you have to run while it's flat.
And then we find another hill or you might have to run back up actually.
And then you're going to be able to get it.
Okay, that's actually dangerous.
And it's silly.
I love it.
That's an interesting idea because now you're also cutting LA by East-West, which is already a division that exists.
Yes.
Versus cutting LA through the entire fucking city.
Okay.
What if we do a survival marathon?
That's it.
Yeah.
What he just said is it.
Nobody goes east-west.
Yeah.
Nobody.
I think Austin's onto something.
Survival marathon.
Will Nap's at the back.
We've got his mask.
Well, maybe not the gun part.
Make it a natural disaster so nobody's to blame.
What we throw everybody on a marathon on a fault line.
Okay.
What?
It's population control for Los Angeles.
There's okay.
You went to New York for like three days and now you're talking about executing the homeless.
No.
I did not talk about executing the homeless.
You brought this up.
He's like, I wear this fit and now people think I'm homeless.
Yuck, ew, we should kill you.
No, but I honestly think the marathon, first, it needs easements where you can drive through it.
Yeah.
The idea that the whole thing is.
They do, by the way.
But they're like, but they're few and far between.
And it's not like designated.
And I don't think there's enough like go-ahead ahead of time.
Like, I had no fucking clue what's happening.
It took me three times the amount of time to get here to get away from.
My driver just quit.
Yeah.
He was literally just like, he literally was like, I can't do it.
It took me an hour to leave LAX and I was at Terminal 7.
That's the exit, by the way.
Took me an hour to get from the end of the exit through the exit.
Yeah.
An hour.
They reduced it to one lane.
Yeah.
LAX is already dog shit when there is no.
The city sucks.
I'm going to New York.
We're going to put a button on this before people think that we are terrible.
Listen, we're a little terrible.
Yeah.
Fuck you, Cody Co and Jeff Woodkick, you fucking marathon running sons of bitches.
Y'all look so sexy.
I hate that shit.
I will say if you've made a real commitment to fitness or you just want to challenge yourself, that's based.
And I'm happy and I'm glad you chose to do that.
But if you've got a friend with cancer and that's why you're running, fuck you.
I do not endorse this thing.
Fuck your friend.
I've never been happier to be wearing a ski mask.
No, but honestly.
Who would take what I just said seriously?
There's got to be.
The internet is tired.
Do you think streaming is harder than running a marathon?
100%.
Yes.
Put that shit.
Put that shit on the board.
The LA marathon is the most inconvenient every year.
It's just the city shuts down.
This city needs to be banned from hosting any events.
Period.
They need to take them away.
Yeah, they want to do like the Olympics.
They're doing the Olympics here.
I think our nation needs a great leader, which takes us right into our next level.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Aaron Rodgers.
Shortless.
I am sorry.
I think as a Jets fan, there is a possibility.
And now they're saying, you know, they're saying that they've picked another running mate at this point, but I don't believe them.
I think they're just building hype.
I have a very controversial take.
Because gunslinger, quarterback.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A Raj.
Yeah, four minutes total playtime in the last NFL season.
Well, that's because his torque on his leg was so extreme from his muscles that, yeah, human anatomy could not because he didn't take the vaccine that limits him.
Well, no, he should have been limited.
There was vax around him.
Oh, and it attacked his immune system.
It was herd vaccination.
There has never been more of a vindication for the gay autism that you get from the vaccines than Mr. Pfizer being like a national fucking hero.
Yeah.
And I'm, of course, talking about Travis Kelsey, like national hero, got the hottie, all over television.
Brother retires on top, successful podcast.
Like, he's got it all.
And then Aaron Rodgers, four minutes of playtime, banned from the fucking banned from the Pat McAfee show.
Like, that's him because he was, that was his one outlet.
He can't even get there anymore.
Listen, and now he's running with this right now.
I'll say this right now.
Vice president.
They won't take you on Pat.
Aaron, we will take you on Fear.
100%.com air it out.
A ride.
That's my question.
Pat McAfee on Fear Andrew.
We're talking about Aaron Roger.
Hardback for the New York Jets.
Yeah, but I would let him on too.
Why do you like Pat McAfee?
Do you know who Pat McAfee is?
I just wanted to fit in.
I mean, Pat McAfee is fine.
I just can become on the podcast.
Yes, he can definitely come on the podcast.
We'll all wear our little fucking sleeveless shirts.
I just want you guys to know that as a Jets fan, I'm running with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is running for president.
And because of like getting the complications in our undemocratic process, in order to run as a third-party candidate as an independent and not part of like the Green Party or the Libertarian Party, which are the established third parties that are already on the ballot or have a ballot slot, you have certain qualifications that are, in my opinion, incredibly high.
Like the qualifications are high bars to clear.
Like in the state of California, if you want to be on it, in the state of California, if you want to be on it, you have to get like 250,000 fucking signed votes, like authorized votes to be able to get on it as a separate person.
And in other states, you have to literally establish the petition to get 100,000 signatures in between the primaries and the general election.
So the month, like, it's like super 100,000.
Oh, we could.
In the state of California, 250,000 votes, by the way, 250,000 signatures means you need to get more people to get it.
He'll just get you on the ballot.
Yeah, no, no, no.
I'm so on board with RFK Jr.
It's not even a joke.
That's why I was going to say this.
Like, he's an anti-vaxxer.
He fucking can barely do 75s on the bench press.
But overall, on principle, I'm on board with it.
And I will say it right now.
If he gets Jesse the Body Ventura as his vice president, I will vote for him.
I don't think it's Jesse the body.
I think he went with those are the two names that he's floating.
No, I think he went with a young woman.
I think he finally settled.
Lame woke culture came for you, Robert.
You fucked up.
You fucking piece of shit.
You sold out, dude.
I will, I literally, this is the first time I've said this.
The cakes are so based right now.
It's Jesse the Body Ventura, the Marine himself, okay?
The real governator, all right?
Not some fucking Austrian bullshit.
I'm talking the real governator.
Baby, Chris.
Is this an election year?
Yes.
Don't look at me like that.
I don't know what's happening.
It's an election year.
That's crazy.
All I know is Taylor Swift comes back in May.
That's actually April.
Sorry.
You know what?
I think.
Let's open it up.
What?
What do you want to talk about, baby?
Want Sidney Sweeney and Amanda Bynes to run for president?
Amanda Bynes started wearing wigs.
Half that ticket, I'm heavily, naturally into it.
Big.
The rest of that ticket might cause nuclear holocaust.
Well, Amanda Bynes recently started wearing wigs.
Sydney Sweeney might cause nuclear holocaust.
That's what he's saying.
No.
No.
Listen, let me go on the record.
Say, Sydney Sweeney, I love you.
Thank God.
Sidney Sweeney walks into the situation room.
The fucking general has a heart attack, accidentally hits the nuclear button.
That's what I mean.
She walks in the situation room and he's like, oh, you know what?
Done.
You know what?
I'd forgive her.
Amanda Bynes started wearing wigs recently, but then she switched to extensions.
And I think that's the vice president we need.
Wow, that is such a powerful move.
Thank you.
I've seen the Amanda Bynes stuff.
Okay, can I be real with you guys?
Let's pull it up, by the way, because I don't know.
There is maybe nothing that makes me feel older or more decrepit than seeing a person I used to like worship and idolize.
She was the Sidney Sweeney of my youth.
I don't think she was ever Sydney Sweeney.
What?
Amanda Bynes was kind.
I mean, Amanda Bynes.
Part of the reason that I loved her so much is she was funny.
Yo, what's happening with this dothracky ass fucking or not the thracky fucking wall?
It's under a weird name.
Why is she looking like a Game of Thrones character?
What the hell?
Well, she's becoming a nail tech, right?
Good for her.
Love that.
Love that.
Fabulous.
Love a queen.
Do you guys remember the Amanda show?
You don't.
Amanda, man, Amanda.
Amanda Manda, Amanda.
Amanda Manda, Amanda, Manda, Amanda.
So what happened?
Is she like super fucked up due to being like a child actor in Hollywood?
Is that what it is?
She just knows.
She had a turn where she like she flipped almost like she posted that thing about like wanting Drake to murder her pussy.
Oh, yeah, that was the beginning of it.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God.
I don't remember this.
Why is she cooking?
That was like when I was in college.
I'm not super sure because if you go to the comments, everyone's like, drugs, drugs, drugs.
I don't really know what.
I guess sometimes I don't know what drugs look like.
What?
Wow.
Okay.
Woke Chinese government coming after Amanda Bynes.
We know for a fact that she was going to be.
She just switched to extensions.
And because she's running for president on the Sydney Sweeney ticket.
There you go.
And Xi Jinping fears her influence.
Government with you guys.
I'm just happy she's happy.
You didn't know it was an election year.
Where the fuck is Kate Middleton?
I don't know.
Everybody's been asking.
Where is she?
Didn't she?
So the she's she was a lip.
Do you know every, do you know, do you know about the royal family?
Uh, no.
Do you need me to explain to you?
Yes.
Okay.
Beanie Babies Worth Millions00:13:02
I, I, I think the world needs you to explain the royal family.
I'm going to explain the royal family in pop girly terms.
Okay.
Uh, here we go.
So imagine, because I don't know their real names.
Prince Charles, actually, maybe Prince Charles.
Prince Charles.
No, I got this.
Prince Charles was married.
Just make it up.
Diana.
Diana, the hottest fucking lady in the whole entire world.
We love Diana.
She's like Renee Rap.
She's like Billie Eilish.
We fucking love her.
She's like, what did Austin say?
I didn't hear her.
She was murdered, right?
Yeah.
By the by the royal family.
So she's fucking dope.
We have her poster on the wall.
We think she's sick.
And then I had her beanie baby.
Did you?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Princess Di Beanie Baby.
You don't remember the Princess Di Beanie Baby?
That shit was gas.
I think that's, can you pull that up?
I honestly think this beanie baby is worth like grands now, many grands.
One, it's a mix.
There's one for $50,000, and there's also beanies, bro.
It doesn't even look like Princess.
It's the rose from her memorial.
Oh, that's crazy.
Beanie Babies off of her death.
It's her memorial.
There were some crazy beanie babies.
The Tiananmen Square Beanie Babies worth like a million dollars.
Shut the fuck.
There's no way.
Please pull that.
You've never seen the tank.
Are you?
Fucking.
I'm fucking with you.
Oh my god.
There's no tank.
Like 9-11 beanie baby.
What the fuck?
Like a Tiananmen Square beanie baby goes nuts.
That is cra dude.
Bring that shit back, son.
With that, with the NFTs, resurgence, and then death.
They need dummies need some new shit to purchase.
Yeah.
Thinking that they can get someone else to be the bag holder.
All right.
This is a good time for me to actually admit, though, I was a beanie baby kid.
Were you?
Yeah.
How many did you have?
Really?
Dog, I probably.
Where are they?
So I'm telling you, this was my life.
This was my life in my summer.
Okay.
I would go and I would collect cans on Beaver Island.
I would ride around this island and I would collect aluminum cans for the 10 cent deposit.
I would get my seven bucks and I would immediately spend it on beanie babies.
And I got like 200 of them, probably.
Did you have like what?
You still have them?
No, my mom gave a crate of them away and I shit you not probably I had the tags all minted too, crispy probably, probably a lot of money worth of beanie babies.
Dude, imagine like there's a resurgence of beanie babies right now.
You could have like $10 million.
Yeah, I know the value of them fell off a cliff, but I know like the Princess Die, the Princess Die one, mine wasn't in good shape, but I had a few.
But you had one.
Yeah.
Wow.
Bro, that's 50 bills for a fucking $7 bear.
Okay.
Well, the thing was, where I was buying these beanie babies was like, it was an island.
So the rare ones didn't go.
They would order them and I would buy them.
But I'm trying to remember what other ones I had.
I had like the elephant.
I know that was pretty rare.
I had the Peace Bear, the tie-dye Peace Bear.
I had the St. Patty's Day one.
I had the St. Patty's Day one.
I had St. Patty's Day today.
There was like one.
None of us were here.
This one, this one.
How much is that worth now?
No, no.
That's worth 20 racks.
Shut the fuck up.
Bro, I had that.
That's used, bro.
I had that's used.
And it's like the other ones going for 17.
That's crazy.
Dude, that means that I probably had like 100.
How are they worth so much?
Like, don't a lot of people have these sitting around?
No, so did people just throw them away?
It's like trading cards.
So if they're in mint condition, so I had all the tags in these little tag savers that you would buy.
And then look up the St. Patty's Day one because it's also St. Patty's.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I'm trying to think like what other rare ones.
I had a bunch, bro.
I had the original bear or bull too, the red bull.
Look up the original bull, too.
How much is the St. Patty's Day one worth?
This is.
Yo, I can't tell my mom.
My mom would actually cry if she knew she gave $100,000 of beanie babies away.
Oh, yeah, that one.
Well, maybe she made someone rich.
So that's nice.
How much is that one worth?
Yo.
Wait, that's not even a bear.
That's a that's a camera.
You had this one too.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
I had a, I, dude, bro.
I you could have retired on beanie babies.
Brother, I was militant.
And my, and the other place I would get them was my aunt would work at Morgan Stanley and she would tell her, like, I guess her assistant, like, my, my, my nephew only wants beanie babies.
So he would like go get me all the fresh drops in Manhattan.
He's a little autistic.
Are they selling them for that much?
They're listing it.
I have no idea.
I just remember at one period of time, the value of beanie babies fell off a fucking cliff.
I remember I was like, I thought I was sitting on like my treasures.
Yeah.
My beanie treasures.
Yeah.
My treasures.
Yeah.
And you didn't even know it.
No, I kind of knew.
You kind of knew you saw it coming.
I mean, yeah, he was collecting them in mint.
A person right now is paying 50 G's for a dude.
You got to have that type of money first, and then you got to have that.
I went away to boarding school.
And when I went away to boarding school, I had probably 200 beanie babies in a, like a Tupperware container in a cedar closet with all the tags with sealant on them.
Wow.
And they were given away.
That's crazy.
I made my parents keep my like old comic books and stuff, not because they're like mint, but just because like I'm a bit of a hoarder and I have like, are you guys sentimental about yes, I'm sentimental about things in general?
I have the same, you don't believe that?
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
You don't know me.
Your house is like so millennial gray.
No, no, no.
You don't understand.
I have, I, I am responsible for all my family's heirlooms.
I have a baby grand piano that that my grandmother that I inherited from my grandmother.
I have an old grandfather clock.
Oh, yeah, this is the most Lebanese shit you have.
I've got textbooks like or binders full of photographs from that date back to the 1960s.
You've got binders full of women.
And then I also have binders filled with my grandfather's letters to the U.S. government advocating against the state of Israel.
Yeah, dude, you have to bust those out.
I do.
I have them.
I have a full binder filled.
I sent you a photo of one of them.
I know I remember it.
You need a dramatic dating.
Dude, your grandfather was actually based.
I don't know what fucking happened to you.
Wait, what?
Are you kidding me?
It's cool because like, listen, they're Christian, right?
Lebanese Christian.
Yeah, yeah.
So I suspect that he wasn't very religious, but.
No, no, I know, but I'm saying like, as a Lebanese Christian, like his, his opinion on Israel is like clouded by the fact or shaped by the fact that like Israel's always been like very hostile.
Some Lebanese Christians, it goes in either direction.
Like they are either like super Christian and like phalange like fascists aligned with Israel or what am I doing?
Oh my God.
They're doing pockets.
He dedicated TLDR.
He dedicated a lot of his life to fighting for the rights of Palestinians.
Did you collect it?
My grandfather was terrified.
Polly Pocket.
But like not Polly Pocket was sick.
Not the rubber chew on their clothes, the tiny, tiny bb beepies.
No, I remember Polly Pocket because Polly Pocket had a boy contemporary called like Max and you would open them up.
They were like little play sets.
I still have a bunch of them at my house.
I had the Wizard of Oz polypocket set and I had the Harry Potter one and I would everyone had a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
There was one gay couple even at my young age.
Oh my God.
Wow, as a Mormon?
Wow.
I relate to this story.
Now I'm interested.
I had the Winnie the Pooh poly pocket set.
It was so cute.
It was a tiny...
Will you look it up, Marsh?
It was so cute.
There was tiny little Eeyore and tiny little, and I lost Piglet and I was so sad.
And then, so all the polypockets had to go on a search party for Piglet.
And Tigger, I had Tigger, and he fucked this girl.
Oh.
Yeah.
So there was some furry.
Wait, your poly pockets?
Yeah, my poly pockets.
We're having sex a little bit.
Oh, my God.
That's weird.
I don't know what any of this looks like.
It's one with the, can you, can you remember Polly clips so I can see it?
They were little tiny play sets.
The one with the balloon, actually, that Poshmark $18 vintage 19.
Damn, broke boy.
None of this shit is expensive now.
Will got his money up.
You got your funny up.
I was a young mogul.
I was a young mogul.
I used to collect keychains and put them on the back of my backpack.
You had a roller backpack.
That is worth $350.
You are that is roller backpack you can't do.
I didn't have a roller backpack.
Look at it.
It's so cute.
Oh my God.
Wait, wait, stop the poly pocket thing for a second.
Austin, did you have a roller backpack?
Did you have a roller backpack?
I had a phase.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Of course you did.
I had a phase.
I think I had it for like a grade.
I had a grade, a roller backpack.
You're so lame, dude.
How?
Dude, it was a grade school thing.
Were you a hall monitor?
No.
You know who had a roller backpack?
My brother.
Yeah, I was like eight.
Okay.
I was like eight.
All right.
Not, I didn't, I was eight.
I didn't have a roller.
Look, I did have a roller backpack in high school.
This is like grade school.
Yeah.
And I had one for like a year.
And then it, then I stopped.
And I was like, you know what?
Bro, thank God for I gave him a bunch.
I was like, I did not have to go back to the camera.
Thank God for RuneScape and gun control.
Because in high school, I once bought a camping backpack.
Yeah.
The giant full.
And I would just dump everything in there.
But yeah, no, that makes sense.
That's cool as hell.
No, I got to a certain age and I was like, you know, then they're like, oh, only f ⁇ s where only f have roller backpacks.
In the early 2000s.
He's trying so many afterwards.
He did a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I know.
That was everyone.
Yeah.
I know.
If you like tied your shoes, you were a f ⁇ ing.
Yeah, no, no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, oh, the good old days.
No, I know it's hard to believe, but I wasn't cool.
I know.
It's shocking.
Everyone's always shocked when you explain your especially because throughout your college experience, you lived like a 45-year-old divorced dad.
Yeah.
Going to Applebee's.
Yeah, going to Applebee's, drinking Oreo milkshakes.
Speaking of old toys, I did something and you're going to like this.
Type in Stretch Armstrong villain.
So this was my favorite toy growing up.
And I actually bought this shit as an adult.
And I have it.
There he is, the red guy.
I bought, I think his name's Vectorman or Vacman.
Yeah.
Oh, I know this thing.
Yeah, and I have him.
This is my favorite toy growing up.
You should buy a poly pocket.
Well, you know what?
I did actually at Disneyland.
Disneyland has the, it had, they had, I was there.
It was actually.
Judy, that's your first dap hop.
Yeah, that was really good.
It was, well, I was walking through Disneyland and I saw this big Polly's pocket set and I haven't seen him since the 90s and it was $100.
And I remember for some reason, I felt like I needed to like call and ask someone.
So I called Ludwig and I was like, can I buy a poly pocket set?
And he's like, buy whatever you want.
It's my money, right?
You don't have to return your jacket.
You don't have to scam people anymore.
I was like, nervous, but I bought it and I have it.
I have a little money.
No, it's good that she still has that scammer mentality.
Yeah.
Well, there's this Disneyland poly pocket set that I never bought that I kind of want to buy off of eBay.
Yo, let's.
We're buying it for cute.
I kind of want it.
But we would also, we'd put all my poly pockets in a hamster wheel and we'd do a tournament and we'd see who would fall out and stuff.
I also had an idea for Disney.
What?
Let's go.
I want to go in full like bounding cosplay.
Oh, Disney bound.
Yeah.
I want to like dress up as what you know the goofy movie?
Yeah.
You know, Powerline?
Uh-huh.
I want to dress up as Powerline.
Well, you have to, you can only Disney bound.
You can't like wear a costume.
Oh, yeah.
They don't let you wear costumes, right?
Because you're just freaking out the kids.
You would have to, like, let's see.
Nobody's going to tell me I can't dress as Powerline.
You would have to just wear like a yellow shirt.
That's such a good thing.
I'm not going to do Goofy Face.
Goofy face.
Yeah, you can't do Goofy Face.
Banana.
Is Powerline black?
Yeah.
Well, he's like goof black.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but like, look, he's got a fucking high top.
Dude, have you ever heard this song?
Yo, pull this trap.
Yeah, he's got, oh my God, he's got the sickest hair.
I honestly think this is by far the best Disney song.
Oh, Solver and Company.
Can I ask you guys this thing while you're pulling this up?
Did you guys?
Okay.
Well, I'm going to ask you to pull another thing up as well.
But like in Turkey, when we were growing up, we had obviously like Pokemon cards and stuff.
But the other thing that we had was called Tussle.
Boeing Whistleblower Quality Issues00:07:25
And it came in like a bag of chips.
It was like Pokemon cards, basically, but like small circular, and you would slam them against one another.
They're called crazy bones.
Okay, so you guys had that.
Yeah, they're pogs.
Pogs?
Pogs are crazy.
Were they little figures or were they discs?
No, they were discs.
Pogs.
Pull that up.
Pull that up, Billy.
Yeah, that's working overtime.
That shit would come in.
That shit would come in.
Like, that's what I, that's what I had.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You had a big ass slammer.
Yeah.
Slammer where you'd flip them.
I don't know if we had slammers.
We didn't have slammers.
Well, yeah, we did.
This shit was like rage, dude.
Yeah.
So the way you played pogs is you would have them, right?
And you'd have all your nice pogs and you would lay them down.
And then you would take a slammer and you versus an opponent, you would slam the big fucking shit.
And you'd try to flip it.
And how do you flip it?
You're too young for people.
Yeah, that shit sucked.
My brothers did it.
Yeah, you'd lose your fucking sick-ass paw.
It sucked.
Yeah, man.
It was devastating.
Dude, I had the Dr. Phil base set pogs and that shit went crazy.
Dr. Phil.
Fuck.
I was like, I'm just making shit out today, but I'm on point.
Okay, I have a bunch of topics that I want to go to.
Oh, get into it.
Okay.
First and foremost.
Is Boeing in there?
No.
But we can talk about it.
GovTeeps falling off their airplanes.
I mean, I'm not going to lie.
After you went on the record last week and really rode hard for Boeing, they kind of let you slide, King.
No, Wait, this is the problem.
Okay, this is three more planes have experienced it.
And it's not even just that.
The whistleblower got fucking killed.
Here's the deal.
This is the problem.
This is the problem.
Here's the deal.
Me, I'm not defending Boeing.
Okay.
The whistleblower being killed or whatever is very suspicious.
What happened to the whistleblower?
Very suspicious.
Should be investigated.
The problems at Boeing, like fuck fuck Boeing.
I'll go on the record.
Say fuck Boeing, right?
Fuck Boeing for all they've done.
No, I'm not stressed at all.
And all the systematic problems within Boeing need to be addressed.
The problem is what's frustrating me when I look at Twitter or social media or the media is we're conflating two separate issues here.
The issue with Boeing and the systematic issues with Boeing and their max planes, and then general maintenance issues that are happening with jets that were built in like 1995.
Okay.
The side flew off another plane.
It wasn't even, yes, you're talking about a Boeing, a United Airlines Boeing 737-800 bound for Medford, Oregon, that landed safely.
The plane was built in 1998.
So unless you're saying that the problem.
Someone doesn't checklist on his standard maintenance list, the side of the plane.
No, no, no.
I have no idea, but a plane that was built in 1998.
The problems with Boeing have come to light in the last five to five years or whatever with the MAX issues with the Lion Air disaster and the other MAX crash, right?
This is all related to the MAX and the newer jets, right?
The older jets that have been manufactured.
Here, can I say that?
What's happening right now is a lot of these maintenance-related issues that are, these incidents happen, but they're usually relegated to being reported on local news.
But now, because it's a hot issue, every single incident is being nationally broadcasted.
It's basically, and I brought this up already when you were on my stream.
It is the same principle behind Palestine, Ohio, right?
Like the Eastern Ohio derailment that occurred, the train derailment that occurred was devastating, certainly.
There are 1,000 plus train derailments that occur every year.
But because that was a hot button issue, because everyone was like, oh, what the fuck?
These trains are derailing.
What's happening?
That like the media started picking up these stories and started covering it.
And now it's gone away, even though train derailments are still occurring.
And not only train derailments, but like, obviously all.
All matter of like uh, you know, continental logistics runs into these same issues.
You have trucks that fucking uh get into crashes and whatnot, where they're carrying while they're carrying chemicals, like it happens all the time, but people are hyper focusing on it because it's like the meta.
Um, same thing is happening with Boeing planes.
What you're saying right, I think, is that Boeing quality assurance has gone down in recent years.
Some of the newer models are actually running into problems.
But wrap around a trucker smoking a bunch of meth to do a long haul run and like jackknifing a truck.
My brain cannot wrap around being stuck in the middle seat on a fucking 10 hour flight and having the side of the plane fly.
No but but, but.
But that's not even.
It was like a.
I don't even know what happened with this United plane, but what i'm saying is it's not like that's a completely separate issue.
These are two separate issues.
Well, I saw on twitter you said it's a United issue.
It could be like, yeah, it could be.
The most common denominator here is United.
We don't know, but if we're, if we're alleging that Boeing has quality assurance issues, which we know, it would be an international disaster.
Yeah well, you would hear more about.
Like you would have heard, these things would have been happening since the 90s.
Is what i'm saying.
Like, like some, some like I don't know, like a whistleblower getting killed yeah no, you're conflating the two issues.
They're two separate things.
I'm not saying that, that those things are wait.
So what did the whistleblower both of these things say exactly?
Well, these are separate issues, is what i'm saying.
Like, this needs to be investigated, held accountable.
But a point i'm saying, there was a carry blower that worked at Boeing for 32 years in quality assurance, in all of the older models as well, that noticed that, like uh, quality assurance was going down and a lot of this manufacturing was being outsourced and, beyond that, like the the, the production had had diminished in in quality right, and it was becoming dangerous, and so he's he left the company, tweeted it and he basically he did not tweet it.
This was, you know, I think, for seven years.
He left the company and for seven years he was trying to blow the whistle and and get people to pay attention to what was happening at Boeing, um this this, you know, diminishing uh, quality assurance and and how devastating that could possibly be, and it did actually become very devastating for many people.
I'm pretty sure Malaysia stopped altogether utilizing Boeing planes I think they like stopped utilizing the newer Boeing fleets and a lot of the newer Boeing planes have run into these problems.
Many of those problems are are uh, from what I understand, caused by outsourced manufacturing.
Why do they outsource the manufacturing on different parts of the plane?
It's because it's cheaper Dreamliner, Boeing.
Yeah, Boeing's a Dreamliner.
Yeah.
And it's all a consequence of Boeing trying to make as much money as possible.
You could go back and look at incidents with Airbus too.
I mean, obviously.
Yes, look, there was an A380, a Qantas A380 that was traveling to Sydney that was just falling out of the sky.
And it injured several people.
They landed safely, but it was just nosediving similar to what the Max did, except this one was at Alta.
Write that one down.
Look up, look up.
Quantus Air, Qantas, Qantas Flight, whatever.
Air travel unsafe.
You had other topics.
We are all in agreement.
Ethan Farley Birthday Party Dogs00:15:10
I will not fly.
I forgot what I was going to say because, like, I had a, I had a topic.
What was I talking about before you inter you chimed in with the fucking Boeing?
No, don't say interrupted.
He's doing his job.
I want to respect his topic.
I want to be clear here.
I think that the whistleblower thing is very suspicious.
And also, Boeing needs to be held accountable.
But I just, what I'm trying to say is, is we need to quit cherry-picking these little maintenance events, often from clips that happened years ago to fuel this narrative that we already know, which is Boeing and the Max.
We know all about that.
But all these things are separate issues and it's fueling, it's fear-mongering and it's fueling.
That only works in your favor.
That drives the price of air travel down.
Well, no, it's not working.
Not working.
Yeah.
You can't book.
It does nothing.
It does nothing but drive fear into the flying public.
How fucked up is it if you're in your backyard having a dog birthday party and then all of a sudden a Boeing panel crushes you?
Yeah, like breaking dad.
Yeah, Donnie Darko.
That is not a clear thing to think about.
I'm just in my bed smiling.
I'm waiting for the end.
Okay, well, that's one of the topics.
Speaking of doggy birthday parties, Kay's birthday was March 5th, but because I'm a bad dog dad, I didn't throw a birthday party then.
Lots of people wait for birthday parties.
This is normal.
Lots of people also don't throw their dogs' parties.
Yeah.
No.
Well, we are doing that.
And when I say we, I mean, Cutie is doing that.
I call Hassan last night.
I'm like, who's coming to the party?
And he was like, well, Farley.
And I'm like, Farley is not coming.
Farley would have hated this.
I know, but it would have still been funny.
And then he's like, he's like, Fifi's out of town.
And I'm like, okay, so Feeby.
I love Kaya.
And I don't know what happened, but Farley hates Kaya.
Yeah, no, I know what happened.
Yeah, she's a 200-pound fucking tank, and she plows into my tiny little bougie-ass French duke of a dog.
And he's like, get off me.
Yeah.
No, Kaya treats.
Kai's very good at playing.
Like, very good.
She'll even like take L's and she's like very balanced.
But the problem is, because of how big she is, she can't like, there's no delicate touch when you're playing with a dog that is the size of a fucking chew toy.
Yeah.
So Farley's danky too.
Farley's a French dude.
Farley is a very cerebral dog.
He's super smart.
And he doesn't like that shit.
He doesn't play that shit.
Yeah.
So like I've seen, I've seen Kai play with like smaller dogs.
Like she will, you know, paw them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't wait to see Kaya and Nobby today.
No, no, no.
We're going to make sure that Nobby is like safe.
By the way, turns out I was invited to the dog birthday party the whole time.
Yeah, this is what I said.
He calls me on the phone.
I'm like, he's like, are you flying out after the podcast or after the podcast?
I say, yeah, I'm going home.
He's like, wait, you're not coming to the birthday party?
And I just thought I wasn't invited because he told me.
Well, I feel like only dogs should attend.
That's what I thought.
I did say it's like showing up to an elementary school without a child.
Austin, you literally have the keys to my gate and to my house, and you stay here.
Sometimes you come to my house when I'm overseas.
Of course, you're invited to the fucking party.
What the fuck?
You told me specifically.
I did not allow.
Austin said, Yo, can I bring the street twinks?
No, I think he's literally.
Can I bring 10 to 15 street twinks to the dog birthday?
I think by the way, he just didn't want to come.
You guys have been so successful.
Street twinks.
So successful at branding streets.
Coining terms associated with me.
Selfish top.
Yeah.
And street twinks.
Yeah.
I wonder why.
Every time I posted.
Now his friends are like, I am a street twink.
Well, now every time I collaborate with anybody, the comments are filled with, is this a street twink?
Oh.
Street twinks is I would want to be called a street twink.
Yeah, but like, I don't know if it's like, you know, like people are the worst one, which is one that I loathe, is the selfish top conspiracy thing.
Well, then, you know, keep him, keep him confused.
But I need to ask you, be a service mom, and they'll be like, well, that's unpleasantly surprising.
There are two constants in this life.
You are a selfish top.
No.
And Hassan's car smells like farts.
These are the only two.
No, I need to ask you a question.
How do I get, how do I defeat these selfish top rumors?
Eat ass on camera.
Yeah.
Oh, Kaya, bro.
I got to eat ass on camera.
Yeah, you got to do it.
Whose ass do I got to eat?
I don't know.
Kaya's.
Why are you like that?
Yeah, that's crazy.
I revoke my dad.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I got to eat.
I got to do porn in order to.
Okay.
Okay.
Speaking of like not doing porn, but like collaborating.
There's another thing I want to address.
No, we're not done talking about her lovely birthday party.
You've already Ludwig.
Yeah, all right.
Okay.
Well, I'm a bad dad.
That was what I was going to say.
I'm a bad dog dad.
I'm a bad dad in general.
Thank you for having me.
He thought he was going to be at the marathon.
Yeah.
Oh, Ludwig.
He was like, I'm going to embarrass Kaya because she didn't have any friends coming.
No, Kaya does have some friends coming.
Like, there's like eight dogs coming.
My cat said no.
Ethan Nestor is coming with his dog, Jarvis Johnson.
Do you think if I cry during the party, Ethan will laugh?
What?
No, not Ethan Klein.
Ethan Nestor.
Damn it.
No.
I thought all Ethan's were the same.
No, no, not all Elsie.
Okay, Ethan Nestor.
Not all Ethan's.
Yeah, Ethan Nestor.
Not Ethan Klein.
Okay.
I didn't even ask Ethan because I felt like he would be like, yeah, I felt he would be like, I'm not leaving my house.
I have children and dogs, and I, you know, I never leave my home.
Well, I was going to hire a Snoop Dogg impersonator, and it was $3,000.
That's too much.
And so that was over the budget, as you know.
Oh, I get it, Snoop Dogg.
I was going to hire a Pitbull impersonator, but they put on a whole ass concert and it was like 10K.
Dolly.
Yeah, Dale.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Well, we didn't do any of that.
But yeah, what do we got lined up for this birthday party?
Which, by the way, you guys will probably have seen by now by the time this video comes out.
Yeah, you'll have to rate each activity out of 10.
We've got musical sit with the dogs, musical chairs, but the owners have to get them to sit.
That was awesome.
Not one of these dogs are going to sit.
Yeah, it'll be awful.
We've got dog bingo for the adults.
We got pin the nose on the dog for the adults.
We got guess the dog and me, where all of us are going to have a dog on our forehead and you have to guess by just asking questions.
Like the breed?
Like famous dogs.
What dog would we all be?
Like the breed?
Yeah.
You got that dog in you.
What kind of dog would you be?
I think he'd be a cane corso.
I think so.
That's a good dog for him.
You know what?
No, actually, I got another one.
What's up?
It's the uh fuck, what is it?
Like, it's the it's the it's a Caucasian dog called like Alohai or something.
Can you can you try to find this march?
I was looking at this yesterday.
Aloha.
Wait, hold on.
This is they're they're making new dogs out here.
Okay.
I fucking was shocked when I found out.
Hold on, I'm gonna pull it up on my YouTube.
Austin and I'll get a French bulldog.
Oh, okay.
I think he's a terrier.
Oh, he's a French bulldog.
Like a, like a French bulldogs are like handsome dogs, but they're also really jacked.
Pull up a jacked French bulldog.
Oh, wait, actually, I don't know if I want.
Nah, dude, look at that.
It might be like an Italian bulldog or something.
Dude, look at that.
That's the, that's, that's.
Alibi show.
Alibi.
Look up A-L-A-B-A-I.
Okay.
These dogs get up to 178 pounds.
Okay.
I see.
It's like that big lab.
And they're very like, they're ruthless, but also very chill as well.
Cutie Cinderella.
I don't want to be a Palmer.
No, the easiest one of my life.
You're a King Charles Cavalier.
I don't want to be that.
You're that.
That's what you are.
The most, the most, like, the dog with the most severe mental health problems.
I don't want to be that.
Oh, you're that.
Wait, that one?
Go down with the bit.
Go to the right.
To the right.
That one.
That is cutie sass.
That is the most cutie.
I don't want to be that.
You know that that has like eight different kinds of dog autism too.
I only have one kind.
So we're different.
First of all, your dog already has mental health issues.
Yeah.
Can I just be my dog?
And what kind of dog am I?
I just don't know.
Golden Retriever.
Thank you.
What the fuck?
Not even a question.
Bring it home.
Anyway, we have a splash pad for the dogs.
We got a ball pit.
We got an obstacle course.
We're going to time the dogs on it.
Okay.
We got prizes.
No, we don't.
I forgot the prizes.
All right.
We got a tutu for Kai.
We got birthday hats.
We've got karaoke dog songs only.
This is great.
Lil Bow.
Thank you.
Did an incredible job.
Thank you so much, Cutie, for planning his birthday party.
Yeah, no, I'm not going to say it.
What?
I'm so not the biggest Snoop Dogg music fan.
Why is that controversial?
Because we love Snoop Dogg on this side of the room.
Yeah.
Oh, do you?
Look at this.
Yeah, we name three Snoop Doggs.
Drop it like it's hot.
Drop it like that.
Yeah, Drop It Like It's Hot.
Technically a Pharrell song.
That's Tupac.
That's Tupac.
Oops.
Two more?
Two more?
No, they kind of got one.
Drop It Like It's Hot.
I said Jin and Juice.
Gin and Juice.
No, not between you two.
I need three separate ones.
Okay, come on.
Drop it like it's hot.
Okay.
He was in California Girls with the.
Murder was the case that they gave me wet.
Drop it like it's hot.
Oh, those are my.
I was just going to say that.
That's not fair.
Wouldn't Drop It Like It's Hot be like half a song?
Sexual Eruption.
That's the song that you're explaining already, but I just don't know.
I'm not dropping like it's hot is like half.
The half point.
Why?
Because it's a lot of fun.
I feel like there's more songs that I know.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Got my rollie on the roll and flow shit.
There are going to be dogs there.
I will say this.
I will say this.
I think, and this is like how I live my life as well.
I realized like on Kai's birthday, I was like, damn, like, what can I do that's like really unique for her?
Because I love her and she is my whole life.
And I realized like she lives the most incredible life already.
Like I take her to the fucking park every day.
If I don't take her to the park, I take her to the gym with me where she has like her besties.
They will be at the burger.
I heard one of them is her boyfriend.
Rumor on the street.
Yeah, she has a crush.
She has a boyfriend.
I thought she was a lesbian.
No, she's definitely, she might be bisexual.
I don't know.
But she is a thought.
I do have a thought daughter.
Dan.
For sure.
Okay.
But even after she got fixed, she hasn't got fixed yet.
Oh, yeah.
That's crazy.
I'm a bad uncle.
Yeah, you are a bad uncle.
I wasn't invited.
Farley's gay.
Really?
Farley's a big girl.
I wasn't invited.
You were invited.
You just don't want to show up.
Did you catch him at a glory hole or something?
No, Farley is just gay.
Okay.
He's like a mean old gay.
No, like, I know he's, he's not.
He's into dudes.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
What leads you to believe that?
He only is interested in dudes.
He likes to do that.
He only pumps males.
And in the most gay turn ever, he's only attracted to male dogs that look exactly like him.
Okay.
Wow.
That's awesome.
It'd be funnier if he was into like really big male dogs.
No, little multi-poos.
That's all he fucks with.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
And he has to dominate.
Oh, wow.
God, he's such a multi-poos, the twink of dogs.
He's such a prissy bitch.
He is so pressy.
I love him.
He's always like this.
He's so smart.
With this underbite.
He's so.
Farley is a crazy smart dog.
He, like, if he's, if he's thirsty, he'll take his water bowl and just like rock it around with his paw.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When he has to go out, he hits his bell and then he looks at you.
He goes, excuse me.
I don't know what happened here.
It's time to go tee.
It's been 35 minutes since.
We get a papuccino every day.
Oh, I do that too.
Yeah.
You know what?
I kind of want a dog.
You can't.
No, you can't have a dog.
No, no, no.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I went to New York City.
If you get a little dinky dog like mine, you can do it.
No, that's not attractive.
I want a long-haired weenie dog.
That's what I want.
Oh, baby.
I want a long-haired weenie dog, and I want to move to New York City.
I went to New York City.
Remember, I talked, it took me 48 hours, and I caught the bug.
It was, it just, what an amazing place.
LA sucks.
Yeah.
Everything about LA sex, New York City is just amazing.
The transportation, you can get it.
You're moving constantly.
You can get the price.
I actually love this for you.
Yeah.
I love New York City.
Because I think it'll force you to get an apartment here.
In New York City?
No.
Here in LA.
To live in a new intro or no?
No, because I think you'll get a weenie dog in your mind.
That was like 15 minutes.
No, it was like 15 minutes.
We can cut out the intro.
I have a feeling that I trust Marsh here.
Okay.
Well, listen.
I love you.
There's so much more I want to talk about.
I have multiple.
I have so many more topics lined up that we didn't even get to, including some of your adventures in.
Yeah, I want to talk about your TikToks.
Yes, thank you.
Austin is now officially infiltrated gay talk and I fucking hate it.
I need to show you.
No, wait, wait.
Are we doing it by the way?
No, we're going to do it now.
No, no, let's do it now.
I have so many more.
I have so many more things to say.
No, pull it up.
Pull this shit up.
What's the name of this?
No, we ran out of time, folks.
No.
What's the name, Austin?
Show the ticket.
His name is Stan Chris.
I just got sent that photo.
Look at Farley.
Yeah.
He's Stan Chris.
Oh, he looks so pretty.
Look how cool he is.
He thinks he's a lion.
His name is Stan Chris.
He's constantly throwing that like Zoolander.
Look, there's a new one out.
And look, okay.
Who is this guy?
Now look.
Stan Chris and there's Stan Chris.
There's Austin Show Collab Arrow Down.
Okay.
Can you click on one of these Austin show collabs, please?
Look, look, look.
Okay.
Play that.
Well, if you haven't seen this, it's going to be one.
So I met this guy.
Let me guess.
He's a twink.
No, no, no, no.
I mean, yes, but this one's different.
Street Gays Segment Paywall00:10:06
I promise.
This one's different.
This one's different.
Look, you guys.
Look, okay.
What?
What?
Look, it got a quarter of a million views.
I mean, come on.
Look, look, guys.
Have you no shame?
What do you mean, have I no shame?
Have you no shit?
Somebody asked me.
Austin, you get a dapp.
Thank you.
You get a dapp.
And I'm going to tell you why.
Thank you, Will.
You got to suck this dick before Congress bans it.
Thank you.
You got to squeeze every last TikTok drop.
I don't know what Congress video talk about.
I'm not going to talk on the man stand.
Thank you, Will.
Here's the deal.
I felt like.
He's TikTok famous.
Let him be TikTok famous.
I felt like.
You know what I felt like watching this?
I felt jealous.
Yeah, he wants to be gay so bad.
Let's not forget your fucking emo ass lip syncs.
That made my butthole pop.
Yeah.
Those were bad.
Thank you.
I felt expected to turn on you, motherfucker.
You didn't even know the way that you were.
I felt like watching like a loved one, like a girlfriend cheat on you with someone else, but because you love them so much, you're like also kind of happy for them because you want them to move on and spread their wings and fly.
But it's also a promise of what it could be.
I want to react to them.
What is going on here?
You don't bring this.
You don't do fucking shit like this.
I didn't even see this one.
I gotta be aggressive.
That's a man right there.
Oh, this is so gay.
Surprisingly, I've never seen this.
You've never seen what?
Why did he post this?
I know.
That's shocking.
Wait, I like that one.
It was natural.
Yeah, well, okay, so here's the deal.
There's two things.
No, go to the one with the shirt.
Can I explain?
Can I explain?
Not until we watch it.
No, we're talking over you.
Okay.
We're talking over you.
What the fuck are you doing?
You never slowed it up like this for us.
People are clowning me for this line that I nailed and delivered.
Wait, come on.
What?
I mean, come on.
Nothing.
Okay.
What's happening here?
Why do you guys both...
Why do you both have the cadence of like doing gay porn?
I don't know.
I think you're a good actor.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
My man said, what?
Why?
I think, I honestly, you know what's so funny?
Is I thought I ate with that line.
You did.
If I was gay, I'd want to suck your dick.
Thank you.
That's the whole point.
You're not my target.
You know what it is?
You know what it is?
It's funny because the subtext is like, you want to just fuck right now?
Yeah.
And there's a lot going on in that one.
Okay.
Did you guys fuck?
No.
No, we didn't.
You were the worst gay.
Fuck a little bit.
Let me tell you something.
Did you do a little something?
No, nothing.
Nothing happened.
No, we were friends and we were collaborators.
Okay.
Now, I don't believe it.
We were actors.
Respect our art.
You're fucking fraudulent.
You're fraudulent.
Let me tell you something, though.
You're fraudulent.
I got to tell you something.
All right.
I got invited.
So I went to New York City and I got invited to collaborate with Stan Chris.
Stan Chris is known for like street interviews.
Street gay.
No, no.
Also, go to art.
Look at Art Gay Interview on Instagram.
You didn't even see this.
This one got like 2.5 million views of me being interviewed.
And that's where it started.
And then I started collaborating again.
So you're on gay talk now.
Chris.
He's king of the street gays.
Stan Chris.
Stan Chris asked me to do these TikToks and he told me what we were doing.
And I just did them and I delivered.
And those are my lines and I read them.
You should do a segment called Street Gays.
You should go talk to gays in West Hollywood.
Yeah.
I think, actually, that's a great idea.
Yeah, it's better than the Tub Show.
Wait.
Speaking of which, no.
Are you free this week?
Oh, no.
Yeah, I'll do the tub show.
Okay, because that's what you're going to be there.
You're going to be in Austin.
You're going back to Austin?
Yeah.
Well, are you coming to the film festival?
Yeah, it's Thursday, isn't it?
Will Nat Film Festival?
It's a Will Nat Film Festival.
Are you going to be in Austin on the weekend?
Do you want to participate in the music contest tomorrow?
Is it here?
AI Music Conference.
No, it's online.
You should set your camera.
I'll confess.
Okay.
I'll add you.
Yeah, add me.
Hassan, I would come to LA, but you won't get in the bathtub.
I will not.
You're right.
Not yet.
I'm getting close, though.
Okay, but the deal is this.
17% body fat.
Once I get down, like, once I'm sub 15, I'll do the tub.
Okay.
All right.
You're already sub 15.
You look good.
Okay.
I mean, but like not good enough to be in a tub naked.
But uncomfortable position.
This is what I was talking about earlier: I went, all those fucking comments were saying, Chris, are you a street gay?
And then also the other one was saying, careful, he's a selfish top.
That's what the comments were saying.
That's so sick.
Literally every single comment is piercing.
Are you a street gay?
That's what they said.
Are you a street gay?
Awesome.
Are selfish top?
We made you.
You did.
We made you.
You did.
Those inside comments drive up engagement.
I know, but what's so funny is you've tossed me to the gay community with like two like faux pas, selfish top.
It's humor.
Yeah, I know.
But look, I want to, the record show, I'm not, I'm a service top.
I'm going to eat.
Look, I've never seen something.
I got an idea.
I got an idea.
I was going to solve it.
I've never seen this.
This was going to solve it.
How would you eat ass?
Show it behind the paywall.
No, no, no, hold on.
But before we go to the paywall, I want to ask.
I want to ask.
I don't believe it.
We'll get an.
What's where they come and they get like a where they prove that your signature is real?
One of those people?
Oh, a notary.
A notary.
We will get this.
We will have a notary, and you two will sit in the room because I don't think it's appropriate.
I will eat another man's ass in front of you.
We will get it notarized.
It needs to be a gay notary.
It'll be a gay notary.
And they will value the fact that I did it.
Okay.
And that you can all then free me from the title.
Okay, you can show us how you eat ass behind the paywall, which you guys can check out.
Well, we will do so many more things to cover.
This is what we'll do.
We will watch Dune 2 on DVD and you will eat ass for the three hours.
I love it.
It's going to be hard to get a lot of people.
I'll eat ass because my tongue is raw.
Well, we'll be watching the movie, but it's just a good timer.
Selfless service top Oscar.
She is a service top.
You're never going to eat ass for charity.
I'll start calling you a service top.
Thank you.
Okay.
After you prove to us how you eat ass behind the paywall.
Oh, my God.
Stay tuned, folks.
You can get that and so much more.
I have a lot more content that we're going to be covering.
I'm going to be a fake ass.
I can get you.
Behind the paywall.
That might be our best episode.
Patreon.com/slash fear and get in.
We're doing it.
Hey, before we go.
That's right.
I'm so proud of us.
You know how many episodes we've done together recently?
How many?
Only like several in a row.
Several.
Okay.
See you on the paywall.
Wait, is this the last episode before you go to Australia?
We might shoot another one.
Yeah, okay.
Which we are going to be talking about behind the paywall.
Okay, cool.
Man, I had to walk through the LA marathon and somehow I'm the only one at the podcast.
This is crazy.
And let me tell you, they don't look kindly upon guys wearing ski masks and marathons is what I found out.
That was a mistake.
I admit.
But I had a vampire facial yesterday.
And I'm supposed to keep my skin covered in the sun because I want to look good for you, the viewer.
Anyway, first topic.
Dude, we started.
We started.
So just walk in.
Try not to be disruptive.
All right.
All right.
First guest here is Hassan Piker.
Hey, Hassan Piker, everybody.
How you?
Okay, he's not sitting down.
Oh, boy.
We're live.
It's going to be a great little bonus clip.
Oh, Austin's shitting.
He's wearing his dad's clothes.
Austin, let me see your fit.
It actually kind of goes hard.
Oh my god.
I don't know.
Where'd you get it from?
Really?
Where are the boots from?
These are dogmas.
I like the boots.
Thank you.
Really like the pants.
Okay, not a fan of the shirt.
No, I like...
Oh, is it all one shirt?
No, it's layered.
I could just, I could just fucking wear this.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know.
We should definitely start 20 minutes ago.
I had to walk here until Marsh saved me.
Marsh, did you?
Oh!
Marsh on camera!
Marsh on camera!
Welcome back to the Fear Ann podcast.
This is the B, the B team.
The B streaming episode.
We couldn't afford cutie in a song today.
I'm young Billy.
We couldn't afford for Will to show his face.
Yeah, so we just...
This is a stand-in, and we're just going to put Will's voice.
Hey, Marsh, did you just do a voiceover?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
I mean, I just walked in.
Yeah, it's the same.
Well, because it did from one episode to the next.
It's like, it was, yeah.
I don't know what happened or what changed, but it definitely did.
Hi, Kaya.
Happy birthday.
Cowboy Day.
I have a tutu for her.
She's going to hate that.
She's going to be so cute.
She got tutu, a bandana, birthday hat.
Shark Cage Australia Voiceover00:01:34
We are.
Yeah, we've been rolling for the last 15 minutes.
Oh, no.
Okay, nice.
They're going to love this.
Well, we don't have to use it.
We can cut it up.
Yeah, we can cut to the good parts of that last 15 minutes.
What?
I said that rule forever ago.
What has happened?
I said, if you talk and eat, I have to punch you.
So finish your sandwich and then you tell your New York story.
Okay.
While we wait for Austin to finish his sandwich and talk, beyond Austin's New York Adventures, there was a bunch of other stuff I wanted to talk about, but I'm forgetting.
Oh, we were talking about Australia.
Oh, yeah.
You were talking about Australia.
Yes.
We were talking about Australia.
Will, you've been kind of sad.
You said you want to switch things up.
I suggest going down on that.
All right.
I go down in.
That might happen.
And mating out with Stave.
Yeah, mating with Stave Avin's.
What a fucking legendary.
How do you fucking feel about that, Mike?
Wait, I'm a game skinmike.
What?
No.
Mating Stave Avin Sunman.
Don't tell me you were meeting Steve Irwin's son.
I didn't tell you.
Can I make a suggestion?
Wait, will you take Maya?
Can I make a suggestion?
I will pay.
Wish me down to come.
Listen.
I can call her.
You, I will allow you to book my travel one way, but I will pay for it if you find a shark cage for us.