Extra Emily joins Hassan and Austin to defend her mall encounter against racist accusations, debate gay restroom ethics, and reveal her $350,000 debt to PhD-holding parents who now demand repayment for her Columbia financial engineering degree. The group analyzes Taylor Swift's 2023 Time Person of the Year status, critiques her New Yorker interview, and discusses Emily's upcoming Christmas concert, ultimately highlighting the tension between academic family expectations and her unconventional streaming career path. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Welcome To The New Studio00:03:22
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Fear Ann podcast live for the second time in our brand new studio with your favorite hosts and our amazing guest.
Extra Emily.
Sync claps all around.
We're doing it.
Austin is not here.
Will's not here.
The Fear Ann podcast is started.
Second episode.
Have a wonderful guest with us.
Extra Emily.
Yay!
Austin's moving the camera.
You literally ran into the camera.
He's not even on the story.
Yeah, we had to start without you because it got to a point where you were, I mean, you were pooping right outside.
I don't poop.
I don't know what the hell he's talking about.
It's so inappropriate, Hassan, that you would talk about my private business like that.
Okay.
Well, Extra Emily's in the building, everybody.
Glad to be here.
So happy to have you, Extra Emily.
Streamer Extraordinaire.
Oh, my God.
Queen icon.
Oh, my God.
You say that literally for every woman that comes on the podcast.
He's always got.
I don't.
Don't let him talk about it.
He's a misogynist.
He's a known misogynist.
He's not every woman that comes into the world.
But I mean it for every.
No, you're very special.
Oh, thank you.
You're very special.
But I think all women are queens and iconic.
Notice how he said no.
Yeah, he said no.
That was weird, right?
No, no, no.
I noticed that.
I think you're an iconic queen.
Oh, my God.
I would put you up there with Queen Elizabeth.
She's dead, right?
She's a problem, though.
And she's dead.
Oh, good.
Good.
Okay, fine.
Maybe not queen.
Hilary Rodham Clinton.
Oh, she's also.
She's awful.
Yeah.
Okay.
The haircut is kind of bad.
See, you don't do politics on this podcast.
Oprah Winfrey.
Yeah.
So she's good.
Okay.
Except she did do the Hawaiian wildfires is what people were saying.
Also, she's a billionaire.
Yeah.
And billionaires are bad.
Billionaires are bad, unless I was a billionaire.
No, it would still be bad, actually.
It would be extra bad.
Taylor Swift's a billionaire and she's good.
Is Taylor Swift a billionaire?
I don't think she's a billion yet.
Yeah, well.
By the end of next year, for sure.
Regardless of whether she's a billionaire or not, Taylor Swift is, I mean, I don't know, on questionable ground.
She's done a lot of good stuff this month and some things that I don't know how I feel about.
And honestly, I've been waiting for this opportunity.
Like, I've literally been sending messages in the group chat.
I have so much smoke for everybody.
Hassan, Hassan the other day at like midnight, sends an Instagram story of Taylor Swift Ravioli.
I show it to Ludwig and he's like, wow.
Also, Hassan is like, Hassan is in his own world in our group chat.
Okay.
He doesn't respond or communicate with anything that we're talking about and then randomly, selfishly sends something out.
And then we don't interact with what he says usually.
It's because I'm a fucking content creator and I know that like I use the group chat for what we're supposed to be doing, which is content, which is why I will literally line up exactly what I want to talk about, sometimes months in advance, by sending it and throwing feelers in the group.
What do you want to say about the Taylor Swift Ravioli?
Wait, there's Taylor Swift Ravioli.
Yeah.
The Taylor Swift Ravioli thing is just about like Taylor Swift's stand culture.
Taylor Swift Ravioli Chaos00:15:08
I just wanted you to, I wanted you to get a feel for it.
How does it feel to be the defender or the exclusive defender of Taylor Swift?
I think she is.
You were the defender.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
We are the defenders of Taylor Swift and women.
Also, let me address the elephant of the room.
Will Neff is not with us.
He's no longer with us.
He has passed away due to a self-sucking accident.
He did a self-sufficient.
In which he lunged for his own asshole too.
Yeah.
During that process.
Yeah, he tried to go all the way.
He actually successfully self-sucked himself and then went to self-eat himself out and then unfortunately perished.
Would you guys do that if you could?
I have done self-self eat myself up.
Yes, yes.
I've self-sucked.
Oh, cool.
You can self-suck.
I have before.
I have literally had this conversation three times.
How do you reach yourself?
I wasn't when I was able to.
And you can't do it anymore.
I know.
I haven't tried.
No, you'd probably self-suck and throw your back out.
I haven't tried.
I have a question.
Excuse me.
He won't self-suck himself, Emily, because he thinks.
He's going to do this.
He won't self-suck himself because he thinks it's gay.
Yeah.
Well, as someone who has done it, I will tell you this much.
It feels like you're sucking a penis more than you feel more than it feels like you're getting your penis suck.
Yeah.
Oh.
Would you eat your own?
Is that an inappropriate task?
No, no.
Like, if I can bend down there, would I do it?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
It doesn't even feel that good.
Okay.
And like getting eaten now.
You mean in general?
Yeah.
It doesn't feel that good in general.
It's only happened to me like a handful of times.
And I'm like, I hate this.
It's because, oh, God, men are so bad.
Men are so bad.
Excuse me.
I've forgotten rave reviews.
Do you have like a, is there like a place that we could go?
There's like a glass door sort of website that we can do.
I mean, no, but like voluntarily, sometimes people bring it up.
Oh, that's true.
Like that one porn star out of nowhere was like, sounds really good.
Yeah.
Just saying.
Yeah.
People are saying it.
People are saying it, they're saying it.
Okay.
Wait, what was your question, Emily?
Yeah, sorry, Emily.
My question is: Oh, when you stand there naked, do you ever helicopter your dick around in a circle?
Always.
Really?
I tried.
I have to get a little blood flow before I get okay.
Yeah.
I've done it before.
Well, I'm gay, so I get to sword fight.
Okay.
God.
We do.
I'm so sorry.
This is so overpowering.
Being gay is so OP in that.
Yeah, we can sword fight.
Speaking of homosexuality, Austin came in this morning.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wearing the tightest Lululemon pants you've ever fucking seen.
Now, of course, he's not wearing them right now because as soon as I saw it, I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
I thought you said you're never doing this shit again.
You always come to my house and you're like, Hassan, aren't you proud of me?
Look, Hassan, look at my pants.
They're so baggy.
Turns out, this time, not baggy at all.
Wearing Lululemon pants again.
You relapsed.
I did.
Like a fucking addict.
I only wear tight pants on the airplane.
It's comfortable.
No.
Yeah.
And in case the plane goes down, it's easier to escape.
You don't get caught on anything.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks, Cutie.
A ridiculous reason to wear cutie.
You don't even get on planes.
I know, but if I do, I wear tight pants.
She would feel safer if she was flying with me.
Anyway, regardless, I yell at him and he has brought a friend of his.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A friend?
A friend.
Yes.
And he literally hot swapped his pants.
He hot swapped his pants.
Oh my God.
I didn't give me your pants.
Give me your pants.
My friend is wearing the outfit that I'm outside suffering.
Just the awful skinny pants.
But there was one point that really was frustrating to me because you wear those pants and I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
These are, you're slimming down again.
Like you're wearing Lululemon's game.
The fuck you relapse.
And he didn't trust me when I said, why are you wearing these pants?
You had to get a second opinion from your friend.
And you only changed when he said, you know what?
Those pants are a little too slim.
I probably would not wear them unless I was in like a gym setting.
Okay, look, in my defense, Hassan's dressed like a fucking park ranger.
Okay.
I mean, like, you know, he's fashionable, but like, there's a lot of things that he does that only he could pull off.
I'm, I'm wearing my merchandise.
You can go to ideology.shop to get it while it's hot before it's selling.
It's union made, folks.
Union made American.
Believe me.
In fact, Hassan's taking this at a loss.
He's paying people so well.
I don't, I don't think that.
I feel like this is a therapy session.
It's like every episode.
Between Hassan and I, and we're just talking to you about our problems.
Oh, no, I love to hear about it.
Okay.
Anyways, I think you look very fashionable now.
Thank you.
I'm wearing Hassan's merch, ideologue.gg.
Yes.
No, ideology.shop.
So do you wear tight pants to show off the outline of your dick?
No, not really.
Oh, okay, okay.
I don't know.
I've never been somebody that I've never been like, it's never been something that I've worked to show.
Okay, okay.
So it's kind of just like feels nice to the type of stuff.
No, it's more so the outline of his ass.
Oh, that's also good.
I don't really, ever since I started to slim down a little bit, I've lost my butt.
Unfortunately, it's not true.
Yeah, I don't.
Wait, you've been looking at my butt?
I see your body.
I mire.
You think so?
I am.
Yeah.
I've talked about this before.
I am gay as fuck.
Yeah.
Okay.
I work out.
I work out.
And when you work out, you're gay as hell.
Yeah.
A man, no matter how little Dixie sucked, okay?
No matter how little interest he has in other men, romantically, a man is gay when he's in the gym.
That's right.
That's right.
There's no gayer, no gayer thing to do.
I appreciate this on.
Every time I have my shirt off, you look good.
Yeah.
He tells me.
When you walk into the hype bathroom, he tells me.
He tells me I was.
Your abs were so defined.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I've been dieting for about two weeks.
Okay.
And it's been going well.
He's dining to going on a cruise.
Cutie, you look great.
Yes.
Yes.
You do.
You look so tired.
That's so crazy.
You look like I'm beautiful.
You are beautiful.
You look natural and beautiful.
Despite your socks not matching.
This is the best I could do.
Listen, we need to have girl autism representation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
When you walked through the door, I said, damn, you're sexy.
That's what I said.
No, you didn't.
That's my first gay.
So I don't take it.
I was like, wow, she's going to turn me.
He genuinely doesn't like boobs.
Yeah, I do not like bread.
I don't have any.
No, I mean, we've talked about this.
We've talked about it.
Yeah.
We've talked about it.
All right.
I want boobies.
So speaking of men being weird.
Okay.
Around women.
Are you talking about how Emily got canceled?
She's racist.
That's exactly what I wanted to pull up.
March, can you pull that?
Wait, you don't really wish you're racist.
Emily is racist.
Wait, what?
I don't think people said that you were like, I mean, some people inferred it.
Is this on Reddit?
Twitter.
It was on Twitter.
She is not racist based on this clip.
Yeah, yeah.
She might be racist for other reasons.
I don't know.
I can't claim her thoughts, but not based on this clip.
I'm throwing her ass.
Well, I don't know.
Entirely under the bus.
She has to answer for herself.
Emily, I am not racist.
Dude.
Okay, so this tweet from one of these like Twitter.
This is like one of those like Twitter clout farm operations, okay?
Fuck off her.
Took your took a snippet from your stream where you're just kind of hanging out.
Let's take a look at what happens here.
And people approach you.
The freaking chicken skin is on it.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm not looking right now.
Thank you, Mac.
What did he say?
He's like, you look beautiful.
Can I get your number?
And I'm like, uh, no, thank you.
I'm not looking.
Oh, oh, that's okay.
I don't live here or anything.
Fucking face that people make when they notice their own camera.
They're like, ooh.
Oh, my God.
I hate it.
I hate the face that people stagger in and they realize.
It's weird because you're sitting next to Austin.
I know, and he does it all the time.
He does it literally nonstop.
He's doing it right now.
I can't see the camera.
I'm looking.
But like when you're IRL streaming and you're on your phone and they realize you're in the back, they're like, whoa.
They start smoldering.
They start like trying to check how many people are watching.
You're like, chill, dude.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So let's continue with the video.
Oh, that was very college.
You don't have to be back.
I'm from Texas.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, that's pretty far away.
You got to eat parties.
Thank you.
Oh, strong black man.
Oh, very nice.
But yeah, I'm not looking right now.
Thank you.
You got all these things.
You got to eat parties.
Yes, yes.
I'm eating all the lunchables right now.
Oh, a chat.
You're like, fuck.
Right?
He's looking on you.
That's them.
Oh, shit.
Thank you.
Yeah, they're talking away.
My cash app is motherfucking Mac Pimpin'.
You've got to drop the cash app.
At what point in that situation, as a viewer, would you be like, oh, I'm going to pay this man?
I wonder if people have.
I did.
Yeah.
She was like, payment, payment proceeded.
I just, I just can't help but think if that was a white man, you would have accepted it.
Okay.
All jokes aside.
All jokes aside.
Okay.
Am I going to get canceled for that?
Of course not.
No, you're not going to.
That was a joke for the record.
So people say people immediately tried to be like, oh, this is like racist or whatever.
And there are, I'm sure there are certain instances where like an interaction such as that one could be racist, right?
Or could be perceived as racist.
But like, you were very kind in trying to tell this random stranger that walked up to you with his friend who then came from the other side, which is like an incredibly threatening situation at that point.
Not because they're black, but because they're two dudes who are swarming you.
Yeah.
Like, and it's odd because like I saw, I saw a bunch of black women, as a matter of fact, on Twitter who looked at that situation.
Oh, fucking Kyo.
That's classic.
Classic.
I mean, you're going to have to work around that.
I don't know.
Thank you.
She literally just plopped right on the camera.
She did.
But yeah, I saw tweets from friends of mine and black women as well who were like, this has nothing to do with, you know, them being black men and has everything to do with them being men approaching a random stranger, like a random girl in a mall and just like, you know, kind of.
I also agree with Gina's tweet so much.
Everyone's always like, God, ladies just need to say no.
Yeah.
Like, how many times did she say no?
Also, imagine if she would have just been like, no, I don't think you are attractive or I don't want to date you or no, I am unavailable.
Like if she would have been so blunt and been like, no fucking way, yeah, what's wrong with her?
Why is she being such a bitch?
Exactly.
There's also obviously the physical element as well, because like, obviously, some men don't handle rejection well.
So that's something that like I assume women have on the top of their minds every time they engage in this kind of thing.
But like overall, here is best practices.
I'm not someone who's going to say like, oh, zoomers nowadays are so fucking afraid of just like talking to one another in public.
I'm sure that there's an element of that as well for many people, but it's okay to interact with one another in public.
It's just that it's a tricky situation.
And as soon as you feel like the other person is not receptive to your presence, it is on you to go, oh shit, okay, I get it.
You know, have a great day.
It was nice to meet you.
Like him coming up to you, in my opinion, is not wrong.
Him coming up to you and being like, hey, what's up?
You're really pretty.
What's your name?
Something like that.
That's fine, right?
Maybe it's a little assertive.
It's okay.
But like, as soon as you're like, oh, hi, I'm not looking for anything right now.
Then like, oh, okay.
Have a great day.
I'm just wondering if he kept on going because he couldn't read cues or because he wanted content.
Because like, I can't tell if he was content brained.
That's a moon for me.
Is he filming it too?
No, no.
Okay, so I actually like talked to him and the friend like five minutes prior for like a shrinking.
You wooed at them.
Yeah.
I did ooh at them, which is like the cringiest thing you ever did.
Would you go ooh?
Yeah, you do like, you know, no, do it.
Do it better.
Ooh, ooh, woo.
Yeah.
Put some dick in it.
Put some dick in it?
Ooh, woo.
No.
Like, give it your all.
Ooh, woo.
There we go.
That is how they do it.
Ooh, woo.
Oh, God.
Auntie Piker's going to make that a meme on Twitter.
Oh, I'm going to love it.
Oh, yeah.
Every time Austin says that, oh, God.
Anti-Piker, please don't push me again.
If that happens.
But the fact that I ooh to them like five minutes prior and they're like, wow, like she's the one.
Like, I want to talk to her.
They came back, but my ooh is literally the cringiest thing ever.
So it's a crisis.
It probably, that's a plot twist a little bit.
I think he was a content post.
Okay.
Yeah.
He might be.
Like he tried to like rizz you up.
Yeah, yeah, for content.
I get you.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, maybe you are racist then.
Yeah, I take back everything I said.
Sorry to that guy.
I'm donating to his cash app.
The only thing that I was uncomfortable with is I didn't want him to linger around for way too long.
I never know.
People do that all the time.
Yeah, I don't know how to like navigate that.
I just have to be like, because I'm educational.
Yeah.
I hate conflict or anything, so I can't be like, can you leave?
Like, I just have to leave.
So, but thankfully they left.
So I was like, okay, that's a good thing.
So that's actually something I want to talk to you about because a lot of people are saying you're the goat of IRL streaming.
For those of you who don't know at home, that IRL streaming is in real life streaming.
I mean, this is a podcast.
So we do have an audience.
We just completely oblivious.
For those that also want to know, goat means greatest of all time.
Okay.
Well, they're not that old, right?
Okay, except for yourself.
We do have some elderly esthetician.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out to my esthetician.
She is 72 years old.
She's gorgeous.
She's wonderful.
She's beautiful.
She's natural.
She makes me look pretty.
Shout out to my.
I've been trying to do that for months.
She's the goat.
She watches every episode.
That's crazy.
You've brought up dicks a thousand times, but you can just shout out your esthetician.
I'm super bummed.
IRL Streaming Safety Concerns00:09:12
I'm so sorry.
Uh-oh.
She's certainly.
Sorry, Hassan.
This is like a fun little thing.
Kaya.
Out of the podcast.
Get down.
Hey.
Kaya, sit.
No, no, no.
She knows the tricks.
Get down.
She knows all the tricks.
I love her.
Come here, baby.
Sit down.
Oh, such a good line.
Sit down.
She can sit on the chair next to me.
Good girl.
Good girl.
And don't put your head up for a minute.
Okay.
So what I was going to.
So, yeah.
IRL streaming is when you, I mean, we're actually going to do it by the time this podcast comes out.
You'll probably have seen it.
But we're going to go to a.
Sorry.
Don't mark it.
I like it.
We're going to go to a pole dancing instructor's studio and we're going to do stripper pole dancing.
I really want to do it.
Which is apparently like a working day.
I'm busy today.
I'm going to the Abbey.
Why aren't you going?
I'm going to the Abbey.
Get lit.
That's a great.
That was a great.
Thank you for asking him that question.
I'm going to the Abbey.
Dead to me.
I'm not.
Look, Hassan tells me these things like 12 hours before they happen.
That's not even true.
As if I'm not even busy, man.
I've talked about the IRL streaming.
I really want to do the IRL streaming for like five days.
I've got a friend with me.
What am I supposed to do?
Okay.
Well, five days ago, you knew that the IRL streaming was going to happen.
But he was with me five days ago.
And he can come as well.
But, you know, it's I'm planning a concert.
Yeah, you have a good excuse.
Will's dead to me.
Cutie and I are planning the concert.
Cutie has a good excuse.
Will is kind of dead to me, but like, I mean, he kind of has an excuse.
You are the most dead.
I'm the most so.
No one has ever been as dead.
No.
In the future.
How can I redeem myself?
Well, I got an idea.
I'll commentate with you during the debates during the elections.
Oh, wow.
Wonderful.
Yeah, that is if you get an invite.
Oh, really?
Exactly.
Wow, that's crazy.
You know who's not dead to me?
Emily.
Wow.
That's so crazy.
Wow.
So going pole dancing.
So rich a platformer racist.
Exactly.
She's going to be an anti-racist by the end of the day.
But anyway, what I was trying to say is, so your style is very unique because you're very happy.
You're very ADHD.
And you are like a tiny woman that will literally put herself in like horrifying circumstances for the most part.
How the fuck do you do that?
Oh, no.
I just like my motto, Drake said it best.
Literally, YOLO, you know?
So that's like how I live my life.
I just like to do whatever, especially for content.
Yeah.
I'm very, very content.
No one has ever said that.
You're like YOLO, right?
But you really are, though.
You're so free-spirited.
You're so friendly.
You're so open.
I just want to experience like a bunch of different things.
So I always like put myself in a dangerous situation.
So I'll be like, oh, this is a dangerous experience.
She'd send you to like a really dangerous place.
Yeah, I'd be down.
Like war coverage.
Korea.
Oh, wow.
Sri Lanka.
The border of the war.
We should, yeah, we should, like, a field reporter.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's what I'm saying.
You're too nice.
Nobody's going to hurt you.
Right?
Yeah.
Put on a press vest and you'll be good, right?
Yeah.
Just send her to Gaza.
Yeah.
So I, I don't know.
Like, what does you never get afraid?
Like, how does that work?
So the way that I think of it when I interact with strangers, so a lot of my IRL is just like random places, right?
I'm like, I will never see the stranger again.
So I'm just going to do whatever.
So that's just kind of like my fuck it mentality that I have at streaming.
But then when I'm off stream, I'm just like a normal human being.
That's not true.
You don't think so?
I can confirm that that is a falsehood.
I'm not, I'm not normal.
She's just as weird off stream.
Yay.
She, uh, the most dangerous thing Emily's ever done to give audience that doesn't watch streaming perspective is she did a running stream.
Oh, the dumbest shit you've ever done.
Oh, I didn't think it was that dumb wrong.
Oh my God.
What did she do?
What is the wrong thing?
Every sub added point one mile to it.
0.1 mile.
So she had to keep running.
That's not the crazy part.
The crazy part is she had a map in the corner tracking where she was to her live audience of like 10,000.
Yeah.
And it was like dark at night at 8 p.m.
Did you guys have security?
Yeah, that's what I have security left.
I was alone.
Did you make it?
Yeah, yeah.
No one came up to me.
No, she's dead.
Everyone was nice.
I mean, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess I didn't think about that part, but I thought it'd be so funny.
You didn't think about your own like security, like your bodily security at all.
Like, I feel like for IRL streaming, I will never get a security guard because I feel like that kind of ruins the content.
What if they're out of the, what if they don't see them?
Um, then it just feels weird still.
Because I want, if something happens, that's just, that's just what happens, baby.
That's just uh no, I 100% agree with her.
I, that's like part of the reason why I have, I guess, like done less IRL streams in general.
But like, that was my motto as well, which is like, just, I guess, not YOLO.
But I do think that like what makes IRL streaming great is like unique interactions that can only happen.
And it's better if the camera is not abrasive and it's not like in your face and you're just kind of having a normal interaction with someone as normal as that can be.
And that is what makes IRL streaming great, not like uh, you know, pre-planned productions or whatever.
I think uh, it's not an IRL stream, it's a different thing.
I mean, that's great in a different way.
We have 12 security guards tonight, and I'm excited.
No, no, no, no, in a pre-planned production, I need one.
Like, I'm very happy.
What do you mean you need one?
Somebody DM me at about the concert.
Like, would you go on a date with me after the concert?
And I was, and Austin was like, Yes, no, I do not mean no.
People send me their holes willingly.
I do not ask for that.
You just have to, essentially, where you're seated tonight.
If you raise your hand, a security guard will come.
So, then you can get the bathroom or to the green room.
Really?
So, we have to share a bathroom with everybody?
No, no, which I love to do.
Well, no, no, no.
This is what I have to do.
I thought that was what Ludwig did.
Ludwig literally for his fucking dodgeball event, which we got to talk about.
Yeah, speaking of which, the dodgeball event, we'll talk about that in a minute, but I was at the dodgeball event.
We were at this, there's one restroom on our side.
There's a men and a women's, right?
Uh-huh.
And there's one restroom on our side where the where the players are.
And then the other restroom is where, like, kind of the fans.
I feel like some fans saw my dick.
I'm fairly certain.
He was just like shaking.
Wait, wait, like, somebody would move.
What?
Because the dick was so big.
I wouldn't use that one.
And I was just like, I don't fucking, I have to go play dodgeball, man.
Like, wait, did you bully him?
What did you do?
No, I was a kisser, dog.
What do you mean?
Oh, he saw your dick and got nervous.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what.
I don't know.
The interaction was weird, though, because it's like it's a fan, and he's there.
It's not even like a fan randomly seeing you at the airport, which happens, right?
It's like a fan there to see you perform.
And then you're going to the bathroom.
He's like, that's your dick.
Oh, my God.
I just saw, that's cool.
Did he go like, wow, that matches?
He didn't, he was just like kind of nervous.
Imagine if I saw your dick, I'd be like, oh, that makes sense.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Like, if I, if you had like a little dick, I'd be like, that's weird.
Yeah.
It doesn't match.
You'd say yes to that.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
Austin's cooking.
I'd be like, wow, that matches.
Imagine.
So, anyway, so I go to the bathroom and I use the women's bathroom.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like everyone did.
Yeah, so I use the women's bathroom.
And the guy cleaning it, he's on the phone, first of all.
He stops his phone conversation to say, Hey, man, you can't use this bathroom.
And it's a dude cleaning it?
Yeah, it's a dude cleaning it.
And I'm like, he's like, you can't use this bathroom.
And I'm like, oh, hold on.
Let me go get my pee back because I just did.
You know what I mean?
And he's like, but you can't do it.
And I'm like, well, and then Ray came in and she's like, no, he can.
He's gay.
That's not how that works.
Ray didn't say that, but I said that.
I was like, I'm gay.
I can use the women's bathroom.
It's a known rule that if you are gay, you can use the women's bathroom.
This is like, this is becoming more political by the second of the show.
Okay.
It is.
The women's restroom is reserved for women, those that identify as women, and gay men.
So essentially.
Do we agree with that?
No.
Discourse.
Do we agree with that?
Gay men should be allowed to use the women's restroom.
I don't care.
I think only Austin Show can do that.
Thank you.
Okay.
And I don't just walk into women's restrooms everywhere, but like gay bars, evidently this dodgeball tournament.
Anyway, sorry to interrupt.
Go ahead.
I got fucked on my venue this year for Christmas concert because the first time when I first started doing events, it was right after COVID.
No one was booking shit.
I was able to get any venue I wanted.
Like the day before, it was great.
Yep.
Now I got fucked.
There was no venues available for the Christmas concert.
I was booking back in October.
And the venue I wanted is booked out until July.
Yep.
Oh, damn.
Lud's Christmas Concert Struggles00:09:33
Yeah.
It's like actually bad.
I tried to book that.
Not a single weekend is free.
No.
Wow.
That's what I'm saying.
Weekdays, probably.
Thursdays?
It's weird because, like, during the holidays, famously, Los Angeles is like kind of empty normally, which is why you would expect it to be easier, but I guess not.
So, so you booked it and so I booked it.
It's shit.
Why are you saying we're about to go there?
Wait, why is it bad?
Because I'm trying to prep you.
Oh, wait, what does it look like?
It's just not made for what we need.
It's made for movies.
Okay.
It's a movie theater.
That's okay.
I don't have a green room.
That's okay.
I have two bathrooms.
I turned one into a general neutral or gender neutral bathroom for guests.
And then ours, our green room, is half green room, half toilet stalls, but are also gender neutral.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's a good question.
That's a good attitude.
I think that's great.
I'm so happy to be here.
Yeah.
I'll bet you're not.
We'll be like, I was drinking my makeup and someone was shitting next to me.
My expectations are always makeup.
Your expectations are always low.
I don't really care.
That's the hard thing about streamer events is like we don't have like we're not Hollywood.
We're not used to this shit.
We don't know what we're doing.
Yeah, I just don't want to be killed.
That's why we're so down to earth.
You won't be killed.
That's it.
Like as long as I don't get killed.
Fine.
That's great.
And if you do get killed, it'll be impressive.
What?
I'll be able to remember the experience of that or if it's so unique, you know?
Yeah, that's true.
So if Hassan gets murdered, you're my mother.
That would be very memorable.
It would be surely up to you.
I would think to myself, I don't want to sit next to Hassan in case someone shoots him.
Do you think about that?
Cut?
No, that's crazy.
That's a mental calculation to have.
Okay, that's good to know.
God damn, now you're going to put that fear in my head.
We're both like anxious people.
So I think that's.
Wait, really?
Yeah, I'm a very anxious.
You're not sitting by him.
I'm not seated by him.
I don't have enough.
I have an assigned seat.
Oh, I don't have enough cloud.
I'm joking.
The crowd's going to go wild when I sing tonight.
You are not seated by him, but it's not because.
I don't know the words to my second song.
I don't know anything that I'm doing.
I haven't even looked at anything.
Emily does.
She has a whole dance.
I didn't even say an amazing performance.
I didn't even verbally confirm with cutie until like I said on live.
I was like, yeah, sure, of course I'll do it.
That's enough of a yes.
Yeah, I just put him in the video and I'm like, he'll get enough social pressure.
I've started just scheduling Hassan to do shit.
He doesn't even know.
No, you don't.
I've got an annual schedule for Hassan.
I just probably do it.
When Cutie does it, it's a good thing.
I just gaslight him.
I was like, no, you said yes to this.
My stuff is fun.
Yes.
Excuse you.
My stuff is very fun.
A lot of people have fun at name.
You're probably not going to be able to do it.
So much so you made a vlog of it.
I didn't even know.
I don't know about that for Eva.
I watched the parts that I was in to see if you looked good.
Not even like the audio on mute.
Oh, I need to upload the whole QA to the Patreon.
I have that.
I have the entire Q ⁇ A.
It was great.
I'll send it.
Yeah, it was great.
Let's talk dodgeball.
Budweeks Dodge.
All of us were involved in it, and we all lost.
Yeah.
That's hard.
To varying degrees of humiliation.
Will nev.
Yeah, like, yeah, Kick was just too good.
I'm going to hook it up.
Yeah.
That's why we kicked him off this podcast.
Yeah, that's why Will's not here.
We kicked him out.
He's too much of an athlete.
Yeah.
He's insane.
He's also very competitive.
I've never, I get very competitive too, but I've never played dodgeball other than the one other time on G4.
That was the last time I played.
Oh, yeah, G4.
It was the first and last year.
He put us on like a hundred and a hundred degree day on black asphalt.
That was awful.
Oh, God.
We did better.
I feel like me and Will did better on that one than we did in others, though.
It was rough.
But I, yeah, our team wasn't so great.
I thought I was a competitive person, and then I saw Will go crazy and all of Team King.
I'm like, okay, I'm not.
I don't care enough to care.
I like barely threw the ball and then like I just showed Emily.
I knew that was coming.
I'm trying my best.
You know, I don't think I'm a cheerleader.
Yeah, maybe did better than me.
I was using cutie as a body shield.
Yeah, that was my best use.
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw that.
Yeah.
I was using her as a, I mean, she looked good, though.
You look out there.
That's thank you.
That's all that really matters.
Yeah, I know.
I know you care about that.
Orange Deany.
Yeah, you look great out there.
I was just thinking, like, the whole game, I was like, wow, she's so sexy.
I was definitely a little bit frustrated with your team.
No, I mean, I just was frustrated.
Talk your shit.
Talk your shit about Austin.
I was frustrated with the circumstances that were, you know.
What's happening, Austin, with your mic?
That's not, I'm right here, Q.
No, no, no.
I'm trying to.
I'm trying to.
Do you call everybody Austin that has a mic issue?
I'm messing up with mics.
Yeah.
I was frustrated with the bracketing that Ludwig did.
The bracketing.
And we were, even though we were in the easy bracket, no, I'm still saying, like, in general, it was very unfair that Team YouTube and I guess chess boxing, the two teams that Ludwig wanted to put forward.
Oh, I didn't think of this conspiracy theory.
Oh, my God.
No, no, it was very, he openly admitted it.
Wait, he wanted chess boxing to win his bracket?
That bracket?
That bracket.
Well, he's not promoing the merch.
Yeah, because he was promoing the merge.
Oh, my God.
He's a genius.
Wait, that is.
I mean, it's pretty.
I would say evil.
I've got to talk about it.
Yeah.
But it was a unique bracketing situation where, you know, they played an already atrophied team.
And then, you know, they just kind of went all the way to the top.
Ludwig scammed me.
Oh.
He owes me a bidet.
Why?
Because he said he'd give me one.
He hasn't gotten me one yet.
He does that to a lot of people.
Yeah.
He owes me a bidet.
Well, Ludwig, if you don't get me a bidet, I'm going to file a class action lawsuit.
Oh, dude.
By yourself.
That would be victims of Ludwig Foundation.
I think that would get a lot of attention if I sued Ludwig.
I wouldn't blame you because I'm mad at him.
Oh, my God.
Why are you mad at him?
Because he just gave me his song for the Christmas concert today.
After me, every single day for the past two weeks, being like, I can't get people's songs.
I can't beat people's tracks.
I can't beat people's songs.
I can't get people's tracks.
And he says to me, I'll sing this morning.
He's laying in bed.
I was like, Lud, I really need your song.
And he was like, I'll sing the Christmas song.
And I was like, will you send me a track?
He was like, no.
And I said, can TJ accompany you on the piano?
He's like, no.
And I was like, then you need to send me a track.
And he's like, TJ can accompany me.
Speaking of songs, speaking of songs, I am not singing one, but it's time to make fun of Austin once more.
Oh, no.
March, I'm sending you a link.
Just play it without any context.
No, So, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
Where should I send this?
Wait, wait, is this me?
I don't know what this is.
No, you don't because I didn't send it to the group chat this time because I wanted to hit him in the face with it.
It is a great segue, great opportunity.
Oh, no, no.
Hold on.
Happen.
Right.
I get exposed, right?
I love you.
No, no, no.
This is not even necessarily directly about Austin.
I mean, it's about Austin, but it's not Austin.
All right.
So roll the table.
Oh, my God.
This is Jonathan Schlatt singing.
And now the end is musical.
Jesus Schlatt.
This has to be AI, right?
Singing.
No, it's not.
What?
I'm going to tell you the backstory now.
So good.
Schlatt famously has a massive rabid fandom that much like mine has put his voice, his AI voice, through a shit ton of filters and has made recreations, most famously this song.
So Jay Schlatt, what did he do?
Make his own.
He made his own cover.
And he's got motherfucking pipes.
Yeah.
Are you calling me out because I have not made a Frank Sinatra cover?
I'm calling you out times two.
Okay, pause the track.
That was beautiful.
This, he is out singing you in your own game.
It's like if it's like if schlatt was like, you know, I've never done political commentary.
Hit me, baby, one more time.
And now it's new.
This is your go-to Frank Sinatra, right?
You only play this song.
You only sing the song.
It's actually kind of annoying that you haven't gotten another song in a rotation in the years that I've done.
It's a new Christmas song.
And Jay Schlatt came in and sang his fucking face off.
He destroyed you.
Hold on.
He hasn't even called me out.
I called.
I am calling you.
You want me to drop a Frank Sinatra cover out?
When women pit women against each other.
All I'm saying is, how does that make you feel that he just came out of nowhere?
Well, first of all, I feel personally attacked.
Good.
I am personally attacked.
I'm the Frank Sinatra guy.
It's my thing.
Yeah, it is.
It is my thing.
And I'll be singing it tonight, by the way.
I will probably get a standing ovation.
I just want to prepare you all for a while.
I've solved the thing.
What?
Tonight we're trying something new with the Christmas concert cover is we're remote recording it so maybe we can release a little live album.
Oh so you might have his own Frank Sinatra cover within the next few weeks.
Is it going to match up to schlatt?
It will.
Look, I heard Schlatt.
Schlatt used a lot of auto-tune in that.
I don't think he did at all.
He did not at all.
It sounded like a lot of people.
That was actually I asked him.
He said, one take.
Ethnicity Pie Chart Drama00:04:59
Wow.
One take Jake.
Okay, first of all, I still don't believe that's not AI.
Did he take voice lessons?
I did not ask him.
Now you can, though.
If he can, you can sing.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
You have all your AI of you.
Yeah, well, I need to learn Mandarin so I can sing Red Sun in the Sky.
For sure.
Okay, yeah.
No, that's, I mean, that's my favorite one.
He only sings Chinese propaganda.
That's all he likes.
Red Sun in the Sky.
It's a song about Mao.
Then ho.
And I love that song.
He likes China for trains.
And I also do like the other one is the Korean Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Cholima on your wing.
That one I love.
I love that one.
That one goes hard.
Actually, it's really hard.
North Korea is such a great shiny.
Just because a place is not under good circumstances doesn't change that they can make great art.
That's true and great music.
No, I think it's the North Korea is filled with beautiful art.
I'd want to go there.
I would love to travel to North Korea.
Do you know Chinese?
You know Mandarin?
No, I do not.
Do you guys all do he speaks Turkish?
Oh, I was just going to say, do I speak a little bit of Mandarin?
Spanish.
What are you doing?
I could teach you a important word.
Do it.
Okay.
Pigu.
Pigu.
Oh, that's really good.
Mihao.
Mihao.
Mihao Ma.
Pigu means beautiful.
Pigu.
How do you say natural?
Junda.
So you're not fluent in Mandarin?
No, yeah.
I'm like conversationally.
Okay, okay.
So you can, so you're kind of bilingual.
Yeah, yeah, just like semi-conversation.
Any other languages, Spanish?
Grassy ass.
Oh, grassy ass.
So you're not.
Are you Chinese?
Yeah, I'm Chinese.
So my parents spoke Mandarin to me growing up, and then I would respond in English.
So my Chinese is very bad.
Okay.
Did they get mad at you for that?
No, they just like, she's hopeless.
It's such an dad was the one who watched me.
Yeah, he loves you.
Oh, hell yeah.
He ranked you an S-tier streamer.
Hell yeah.
Based off vibes.
Does he like me?
Oh, I don't think he ranked you.
You're on stream.
It's okay.
You're on stream.
I'm going to start streaming.
Yeah, you would need to stream to be able to get in those literature.
You don't stream.
It's okay.
Your dad doesn't have a question.
If your dad saw me glaze up China, he probably liked me even more.
Oh, my God.
He would love that.
Oh, yeah.
I do that.
I do it all the time.
I love China.
That's great.
Okay.
So, oh, also another thing.
So you're Chinese.
Chinese American.
Yes.
You're born here.
Yeah.
In Nebraska.
Oh, God.
Nebraska.
Sorry to hear that.
How the hell did you?
How the hell did that happen?
My parents got a job in Nebraska.
So then I was born there.
And then it was a very, honestly looking back on it, it was a pleasant upbringing because it was very boring.
So I had to like figure out ways to entertain myself.
So I made YouTube videos.
There's just a lot of old YouTube videos.
Nebraska is very white.
It's so white.
I was like the only agent at my high school and middle school and elementary school.
But it's okay.
People weren't mean to me, which is good.
Yeah.
People were mean to you?
They were not.
They just thought I was sick.
They just didn't even know what you are.
Like, what is that?
I've never seen one of your kind before.
I don't know how to be racist.
Did you?
Yeah, they were, but they were well-behaved.
Yes.
The only time that there was something funny.
So we all had to make like a pie chart of like our ethnicities, right?
So it's like, like a lot of white people are like, teachers were sorting.
Teachers were sorting.
Yeah.
They were like, yeah, make your ethnicity pie chart.
And I did that in second grade.
Go ahead.
And then mine was 100% Chinese.
And they're like, ah, look at Ebony's pie.
It's not even a pie slice.
It's just a pie.
And they were making fun of me.
Really?
But that's...
She was 100% Chinese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
I don't know anybody, 100% anything.
Really?
What?
Oh, a lot of you.
She's 100% Turkish.
No.
I mean, I am, but like, I, there's neat.
There's something else in there.
She's 100% Chinese.
He's 100% Turkish.
You're 100% Han Chinese.
What does that mean?
Han.
Han.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Well, I mean, because like... Genghis Khan?
No, not like that.
Oh, okay.
So the reason why I said that is, I mean, it's the largest ethnic group in China.
Okay, whereas like I'm Turkish.
I'm 100% Turkish, but like I'm I like my parents' side on my on my father's side.
They're from Greece.
Okay.
So they're from Crete and Seylonic.
You're Greek?
Well, technically they're Greek Turkish, I guess.
Like they lived.
My father's side grew up in what is now known as Greece, but at the time was Turkey or the Ottoman Empire.
It's kind of like my relatives grew up in Lebanon, but at the time it was Syria.
Oh, cool.
So at the time it was World War II.
Greek Turkish Family Secrets00:06:39
Don't talk about that.
Wait, what?
Your family straight out of straight out of Germany.
That's crazy.
Wow.
Awesome.
You say you're Lebanese.
I'm Lebanese.
I did a presentation in second grade, actually.
And people were amazed.
They were like, wow.
Like, that's so much.
I don't know if they made many comments about it.
It was actually pretty bold at the time.
It was around 9-11, too.
Wow.
Yeah.
It was like 2002.
Oh, my God.
How much year after?
I was just out there.
I have to.
I don't know what's going on.
Oh.
Doors unlocked.
Oh, I delivered some stuff.
Okay.
I was like, someone was about to spring into action.
I had to buy self-tanner.
Oh, for tonight.
I'll put it on during the page.
Okay.
I'm also, I'm speaking to, go ahead.
And then I had to buy spanks.
Nothing fits.
My butt's so big.
It's broken.
Oh, gyatta.
Damn.
You got a fat ass.
You don't know what gyat is.
Well, I know what gyat is, but you were talking about a neat.
Yeah, so neat is like negative gyat.
So that's what I have where it's just flat.
You have a great butt.
You think so?
I do.
I haven't been looking at it.
You can't really see it.
She's always wearing skirts.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure you have a wonderful, beautiful, natural.
Oh, you think plumps?
Yeah.
Oh, about that.
I think many people would appreciate it.
Oh, thank you.
Many people.
Yeah.
Some people say you've got a great ass.
Believe me.
It's fantastic.
There was one other thing.
You went to Harvard?
Oh, Columbia.
Or you went to Columbia.
I don't know why I thought Harvard.
However, I went to Harvard.
Yeah, yeah.
Confusing.
Wait, wait, you went to Columbia University?
Yes, Columbia.
Wow, that's incredible.
What's your degree in?
Financial engineering.
Holy shit.
And I learned nothing.
And I'm just a streamer now.
What does it feel to disappoint your parents?
How does that feel?
I have to pay them back for college now because I didn't use my degree.
Wait, really?
That's the wait, that's the punishment?
Yeah, they're like, oh, sorry.
They're like, Emily, now that you're a streamer and you don't even use your degree, you have to pay us back for college.
They retroactively said that?
Well, they said that, like, okay, as like a, like, I thought they said it as a joke, my freshman year of college.
They're like, they're like, Emily, you're going to pay us back for college, right?
And I'm like, haha, yeah, sure.
And then four years later, my mom's like, Emily, you know, when you agreed to pay us for college, how much do you owe them?
I'm paying them like $350,000.
I think I'm paying them $8K every six months for 10 years.
Nice.
That's such a fucking foreigner parent thing.
Well, I mean, for me, the reason why I say this is because, like, well, I did not go to a prestigious institution.
I went to Rutgers.
University of Miami first, and then Rutgers.
No one is at the University of Miami.
Yes, I did.
University of Miami?
Yeah.
Coral Gables?
Say, what?
You've known me for like five years.
I know.
I've learned so much about him.
I went to the University of Miami.
I've talked about this to you.
English is his second language.
I've talked about this to you many times and you just like don't listen, I think.
But anyway, God damn.
Tell about you.
So originally, my dad, I'm the only one in my family that doesn't have anything above a bachelor of arts and sciences.
They all, my brother is an engineer.
He builds spaceships and also has a master's in engineering.
Both my parents have PhDs and they teach in college.
One of them in Turkey, the other one in America.
And so I'm like the black sheep.
I'm the dummy of the family.
So my dad, for years and years and years, was like, all right, come on, this media thing.
Come on.
Every time he every time he, every time we would have family gatherings, he's like, all right, so when are you going back to school?
You need to get a PhD, right?
Like, I mean, you're going to, you're going to get a degree.
And I was very disappointing to them for a very long time until, you know, now I've paid off my mom's student loans and my brother's student loans.
So now they, now they, there's a, there's a point where they start respecting it.
And it's only when you're like, okay, you're financially secure.
I'm fine now.
That's exactly like my parents.
They hated it.
And then they're like, wait, you're making money?
Okay.
And then they're like, can you get me something for Christmas?
And I'm like, oh, okay.
Yes.
What do you want?
Exactly.
So now they're supportive for sure, right?
Same with your parents.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our parents kind of, I mean, my parents are supportive, but yeah, they like move in with me sometimes.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Like Hassan's too.
Mine too.
Yeah.
My mom's still here.
My dad just left.
We're going to link up again in Italy soon.
Oh, cute.
My mom's dead.
Oh, my God.
He doesn't ask for much.
Wow, way to kill the mood.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Wasn't my fault.
Are you sure?
I'm just kidding.
My parents are so like.
I find a way to blame myself.
Ask my therapist.
No, I think a weird thing that I've started dealing with is like now my I loved my dad so much, but now he wants things.
And I'm like, bitch, you didn't pay for my college.
I'm not paying for your shit.
Yeah, I'm like mad about it.
Oh, I grew up very, very poor.
I grew up in pretty, pretty rough situation, I think, looking back at it.
That's the whitest thing I've ever heard you say.
What?
You're not going to pay for your parents when they ask for something?
No, I will.
Is that white people's things?
Yes.
I pay for my parents' stuff.
Does that make me more Lebanese?
Dude, you want to be not white so bad?
I'm not.
I'm mixed.
I've already paid.
He wanted like these 10.
Long story short, my grandparents have a farm in Idaho.
And that's where my dad was raised.
Potato farm?
Yeah, potato farm in Idaho.
Oh, yeah.
They've passed away.
And my dad essentially wanted to turn the potato farm into like a big family reunion campground place.
But it's like, you know, there's so many of those I know.
Yeah, like Mormon.
So he like wanted some stuff to make it nice.
And so I gave him a bunch of money for that.
But then that got like shut down.
And so he wants to do something else.
And so he's asked for more money.
And I'm just like, it makes me, I don't know anybody else with like parental resentment sometimes, but like I fucking, I had a full-time job.
Like I worked every summer when I was 13.
I had a full-time job the day I turned 16.
I had my first job.
I was working 40 hours a week while going to high school, while on cheer, while like in volleyball, paying for everything on my own, like everything on my own.
And he used to always be like, yeah, you got to pay for, you got to work your own way, work your own way.
Now all of a sudden, somebody wants a freaking camping tent.
Kim Interview Money Issues00:13:57
Yeah.
That was my.
I mean, I buy it.
I have been paying for it.
It's just like, damn.
You also do your dad's finances, which is crazy.
You're his accountant.
Yeah.
I'm not.
I just do his invoices.
I just do his contracts and stuff.
Martin.
I'm a lawyer, really.
Okay.
So I have something to bring up too.
Okay.
Because I have a couple things.
We can do some of it behind the paywall as well.
Like the congressional gay sex that we're going to be talking about.
Well, you know, the person of the year.
Wait, Congressional Gay Sex.
Person of the Year.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Congressional gay sex.
Fuck yeah.
What a great.
So I have like an actual gay porn review that we're going to be finally doing behind the paywall.
Oh my God.
We get to watch gay porn behind the paywall.
We're watching gay porn.
Wow.
You're so cool.
That is awesome.
Patreon.com slash fear and and also a litany of different Taylor Swift things.
But since we're at 48 minutes, we'll just start off with the Taylor Swift thing.
Taylor Swift.
Wait.
Emily said she's mid and I hate Emily.
Okay, I used to like a lot.
Wait, Taylor Swift was one.
And then you saw her live during the Red Tour.
Yeah.
Or like Speak Now or Fearless.
And she was not that good at singing.
Oh, bitch.
I'm on back.
You want to watch the Aeros tour together?
I feel like I'm too far behind.
Like, the Swifties are too strong for me.
I can't do it anymore.
I don't know folklore.
I don't know.
It's Evermore or whatever.
It's okay.
Really?
Yeah.
I just feel like I'm an imposter among all the big things.
Just watch the Arist tour.
Really?
And you'll be like, wow, she's gotten so much better.
Yeah.
She has.
Her voice has gotten way more.
I did watch that one video.
She's a great dance.
Yeah, she's gotten way better at dancing.
She's a wonderful thing.
I'm not going to dance.
She really is.
Can we be serious?
Can we be fucking real?
Like, she's a dynamo.
She's a dynamo.
I'd put her in.
I respect Michael Jackson.
She's like an institution.
Okay.
And I think that Taylor Swift doesn't have to be very good at things.
I think that her being kind of mediocre is what makes her appealing.
A lot of people.
What do you mean by arguing about?
I think she's a once-in-a-lifetime talent.
The new Michael Jackson.
I would venture to say probably even better.
Okay.
Wow.
Now we're borderline racist.
Wait.
Listen.
What I want to say is this.
Here's my analysis of Taylor Swift.
Okay.
Here's my analysis of Taylor Swift.
How the hell do we get there?
I think that her appeal stems from the fact that she's like very normal and kind of not above and beyond exceptional.
It's not like a level of talent that is like unachievable where you're like, I am in awe.
She is a dynamo, though.
She works very fucking hard.
I can agree that like her vocals are no, it's no Adele.
It's no Adina Menzel.
No, like one time, like she has a very approachable singing voice, which is great.
She has gotten much better, though.
Oh, but I think the thing that she is not normal at that she's way above standards is her writing skills.
That's it.
She writes relatable music.
She writes is crazy.
I mean, everybody can relate to her.
Exactly.
I think she's a great writer.
And I think that.
And I even think her looks are approachable.
She doesn't do like the Kim Kardashian shit.
I don't think you relate to her anymore because you used to be like this ugly.
Yeah, I think you think you're too good for her.
Yeah, you've like grown.
You've like blossomed into fine.
I'm beautiful.
I'm a man.
I'm just like.
No, we don't like you anyway.
No, that's what I mean.
Like, I'm not the target, Mark.
You're too white.
Yeah.
I am literally not the target demographic for Taylor Swift.
Yeah, we are.
I'm simply stating.
And I also.
We're bringing Emily in.
I'm a bad person because I don't listen to music anyway, but like I'm saying that as someone who has studied culture, I feel as though I feel as though her appeal stems from the fact that she is great as a lyricist and can write very relatable stories and she's not like super above and beyond puts on a fucking show.
Yeah, for sure.
She loves performance.
She made so much money on that tour.
She's still going to be a little bit more.
Which is why I think she needs to go on tour.
No, shut your whore mouth.
I know it's it.
We need to do a tour.
Thank you, Emily.
There is a economist calling the Taylor Swift phenomena.
She has revitalized the economy.
Let's take a look.
Taylor Swift, man of the year.
Man of the year.
That's right.
She won man of the year person of the year.
Wait, that's cool.
Why did you say man of the year?
I don't know.
Has to be a man.
It's person of the year.
It's person of the year.
I'm being so majestic.
We're not going to be able to cover this all in this episode because actually this interview is so that's what I'm saying.
So I need to.
I need to.
It's also very cringe.
I do need to bring something up.
She might have been having a little fun that day.
She said something funny about like being like horruxes.
Yes.
And Lord Ameros.
Yeah.
And weatherings and it just going crazy.
But look at our girl.
2023 person of the year Taylor Swift by Time Magazine.
Remember, it's up there with Adolf Hitler.
Well, let's say.
Joseph Stein.
Name some other ones.
Barack Obama.
Rudolph Giuliani.
Barack Obama's mayor, Rudy Giuliani.
Donald Trump win one.
Donald Trump.
Wow.
Gandhi.
Up there with a lot of people.
Gandhi.
Dolly Llama.
Notoriety.
And now Taylor Swift.
Oh, that's huge.
One thing I want to say right off the jump: what the fuck fire the photographer.
I know.
Zaver fired the makeup artist, fire the glam squad that worked on this.
This is one of her worst photo shoots I've ever seen.
I've never seen such a flub.
Can you show this, please, Marsh?
I mean, this is like, this is unacceptable.
I think it's very 80s.
No.
It's still bad.
No, it's not.
It's not really bad.
You can do an 80s photo shoot and make it work.
This looks depressed.
It was just the hair was so long.
This photo is insane.
Why did they do this?
I don't know why they curled her bangs like that.
This would have been a total.
Imagine a sleek back ballerina bundle.
Yes.
Much better.
This looks unkempt.
Like, it looks like her hair just looks bad.
I wish.
Yeah, it looks like my hair right now.
No, your hair looks beautiful and natural.
Yeah, it looks great.
You're beautiful, Keith.
Yeah, I'm very discontented.
Are you naturally blonde?
I'm naturally this color.
I'm naturally Taylor's color.
Oh, no big nail.
You're just like her for real.
Like her for real.
It's part of why I haven't been growing.
I haven't been bleaching.
So I'm like, if she can pull it off, maybe I can pull it off.
Well, she's not pulling it off here.
I'll tell you that much.
Oh, that's a good photo.
That's fun.
It's a big photo.
It's not a person of the year photo.
Yeah.
So that's the hilarious part about it.
It's like, even the most like Decent photos are very mid.
And Taylor Swift is like a beautiful woman.
It's like, this is not, it's not very hard to make Taylor Swift look good.
It's, I would say, harder to make her look like this.
So that was the first thing I saw that made me go, oh my God, this is so bad.
And then there's a bunch of quotes in here where she is just like incredibly corny.
There is one part of the interview.
I mean, we can try to pull up the, if you control F, like you can pull up the Lord of the Rings or Horcrux.
March?
Horcrux, but her best one, her best line ever.
So finally, like, okay.
So if you guys don't know, 2016, 2016, I might have my year wrong.
Dyslexic.
2016 is when the whole Kim Kardashian Kanye bullshit happened, where, you know, like famous came out.
Yeah.
So and Kim posted a video that said that Taylor Swift was like, yeah, it's fine.
Right, right, right.
It was an edited video.
Really?
Yeah.
It was an edited video.
And that didn't come to the forefront until like, I think 2020 that like it was proven that it was an edited video because Kim Kardashian's Snapchat got hacked.
Right.
But during this, like the number one worldwide trending, it wasn't 2016.
It had to have been earlier.
The trending worldwide hashtag was Taylor Swift is over.
Like worldwide.
And like Kim called her a snake.
And so then like, like she got flooded.
She got flooded with snakes on every social media.
She went dark.
She literally went into hiding.
Like she was like, it's over for until reputation came out.
It was years.
She would hide in public.
She was just like, she was like, how long?
Like how depressed she was ever been?
Why can't she say that it's fake?
So she tried, but everyone was like, there she goes again, calling herself the victim.
So that's actually one of the funniest parts in the article that I wanted to get to where she's like, where she goes, I felt canceled.
And then the interviewer goes, the interviewer basically refutes that a little bit by saying like, you know, she was still like one of the top like record-selling artists of all time.
But who am I to tell Taylor Swift that she was canceled?
If she felt like she was canceled, then she certainly was.
And I was like, that's not journalism.
What are you doing?
Yeah, I think it was more thing of like.
Here, read it from above, actually.
Look what you made me do reach number.
Oh, here, Swift has told me a story about redemption, about rising and falling, only to rise again, a hero's journey.
I did not say to her in our conversation that it did not always look that way from the outside.
That, for example, when reputation is lead single, look what you made me do reached number one on the charts, or when the album sold 1.3 million albums in the first week, second only the 1989.
She did not look like someone whose career had died.
She looked like a superstar who was mining her personal experience as successfully as ever.
I am tempted to say this.
But then I think, who am I to challenge it if that's how she felt?
The point is, she felt canceled.
She felt as if her career had been taken from her.
Searching in her had been, something in her had been lost and she was grieving it.
Maybe this is the real Taylor Swift effect that she gives people, many of them women, particularly girls who have been conditioned to accept dismissal, gaslighting, and mistreatment from society that treats their emotions as inconsequential.
So, yeah, and it gives them permission to believe that their interior lives matter.
I couldn't have written it any better myself.
I think this is the most insane.
I thought he was kind of cooking, no?
No, he's cooking like he's interviewing like a deity in his mind.
This is an insane way to fucking approach the subject matter, at least from a journalistic perspective, where she's like, What would be interesting in this situation?
And Isaac Chotemer does this really well for the New Yorker.
Oh, this is a horrible film.
Very famous for his interviews where he cooks people.
Like she let this go out.
Yeah, she should have said no.
But maybe she wanted to see like everybody to see like, this is who I am.
Wow.
This is very stylized.
No, this is really bad.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
But oh, we're getting.
No, I think she looks absolutely wonderful.
My point is like she's you worked hard to make her look this bad is what I'm saying.
Do the Swifties think she looks bad?
There's mixed reviews.
I mean, that means that means that it's very bad.
I didn't even think that they love this interview that much overall because like there's a lot of corny parts about it too.
Specifically because when Swifties like something, and this is the same for like stand culture in general, they will really pump it.
If they don't like something and they find it to be like kind of embarrassing, they just won't talk about it and they'll like hide it and they'll move on to the next thing.
And I do feel like the second thing happened in this situation a little bit, especially with the photos.
I mean, yeah, the photos are rough.
But I think, I think regardless, like reputation, reputation was like her comeback album.
It was finally like her first time like saying anything about all the bullshit with Kim and all that stuff.
And she was like, she went from being this golden child, right?
This is right after 1989 that won her most award she's ever had to everyone fucking hating her.
It's like, and even though that guy says, oh, she's very successful, think of when you get canceled because you say something or you're racist all of a sudden or you're just a problem.
You're always like, you know what I'm saying?
Like you, you live in this bubble where it's like, it doesn't matter if there's numbers that back it up.
You go live the next day, you still get 20K.
Yeah, the difference is like, I don't believe that.
Yeah, I mean, I guess the point is I don't go, woe is me.
And also, I don't personally feel like I'm canceled.
Does that make sense?
I openly will say like cancel culture is not a real thing.
You can be canceled, I guess, by your own community, by your own fan base for doing something that they find to be like inappropriate that like doesn't match up with the values that you've put forward.
But like the rest of the internet could only just fucking hunt you down and say that you're wrong for buying a house or whatever the fuck.
But like that doesn't really change anything.
But I have something to bring up before we go.
Wait, we're not done with this.
Yeah, we still got Taylor Swift.
This is juicy.
This is important.
And I got more Taylor Swift.
I guess it's important, but we're running out of time to bring up something that's truly important.
I've been waiting for Cutie to be on this podcast so we can have this conversation.
Overall, end of the interview, this is, she was very much so in a very dark place.
If you watch the Miss Americana Netflix documentary, which if you're a budding Taylor Swift fan, I encourage it.
She talks about this specifically and how it was so dark because she is a person that was pathological, people please her entire life.
And then for the first time ever, people started booing at her.
And what do you do when your only value in life is pleasing people?
It's detrimental to your entire mental health to all of a sudden have everybody turn on you, regardless.
In this interview, or even feel like everybody turned on you.
For the first time ever in this interview, she finally, like, she became person of the year and she is now above the Kardashians.
She's having the most amazing year of her life, right?
And she fucking said about Kim Kardashian that the trash always takes itself out and Karma's a bitch.
So that was the most slay part of the entire interview.
That's all I had to say.
It was really silly.
She came for the queen.
Central Asian Podcast Identity00:03:40
Yeah.
Kim Kardashian.
What did you have to say about that?
I'm so sorry.
Before we go, I need to marsh to play something.
Folks, I may not be living here for much longer.
What?
What?
I know a lot of you thought I was going to maybe move to Los Angeles or move somewhere else, but I've truly hit it big in a different country.
Oh, God.
What?
I've hit it big.
Oh, this is okay.
Emily, maybe you'll be seeing this for the first time.
BLC.
I have made it big in Asia, folks.
Check it out.
This is in Russia, I think.
No, but they said it was.
I'm singing Asia.
No, no, hold on.
They told me, hold on.
Russia is in Asia, to be fair.
They DM me.
It's a very big country in a very big Central Asia.
This is a Central Asian podcast.
They're speaking Russian, though, no?
Yeah, I think so.
They're speaking Russian.
You haven't done your due diligence.
They told me, but they told me that they were speaking Russian, but they identify themselves as a Central Asian podcast.
So I will be leaving the United States, expatriating to Central Asia.
Central Asia, not a country.
Yes, just a continent.
I have made it.
Roll the tape.
I got cut out.
Oh, my God.
The fear end.
What do they say?
I have no idea.
I think from context clues, they're talking about it.
I have something for this.
Wait, you have something for this?
Marsha's saying he.
Do you have a microphone on?
Oh my god, they dubbed it?
No way.
Okay, that.
Wait, they dubbed it.
You're watching English TikTok, the Fear End podcast, which everyone calls the Austin Show.
What the fuck?
Austin Shaw, and he started posting small shorts from his podcast.
They like these shorts so much that they now call the entire podcast Austin Show, where in fact, cool people hang out.
Hassan Piker, Tanamongo, big people in American media.
Wait, pause it now.
I like that I am now relegated to a famous person that appears on this podcast.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, from time to time.
I can't wait.
Austin just outdid everyone.
And now he's the main star.
And it turns out to Hassan Piker, who is famous for what he has there.
He's Young Turks.
It's a political publication.
He's a political streamer.
A lot of people know.
Donald Trump, yes, even with him, he had correspondence altercation.
That is, they approach Hassan Piker and say, oh my God, you're Austin Shaw's friend.
I don't think I did this.
No, it's the other way around.
Austin's a friend.
Okay, well, this is, I mean, this is fake news.
I'm beginning to understand.
Finally, Central Asia gets it.
I'm beginning to understand what liberals say when they're like, oh, Russia Gate, like fake news, Russian fake news.
That's it.
They have a podcast and they now get it right.
Austin Show's friend, Hassan Piker.
You had to go to like Turkmenistan to fucking find like one podcast.
In fact, they've asked me, they're filming a docuseries and they've asked me to be a cameo on their docuseries as they travel around the United States.
I'm going to be joining them.
I'm going to be joining them for coffee.
Austin Shaw Fake News00:04:12
I don't know what it's about.
In fact, I didn't even know what they said about me until now.
I hope you're like banned from multiple countries for this.
Wait, why would I travel banned?
Why would they give me a travel ban?
They would never ban me from I'm so great for every country that I like.
This is Austin Shaw.
He's gayest man in America.
He is so gay.
He's making youth gay.
Do you think?
Do you think that I would be banned?
Like, do you think I'd get in trouble for going to certain countries because I'm so outwardly homosexual?
Or do you think I could blend in?
No, you're fine.
Like, if I went to like, I think you wouldn't.
I honestly say that you're so fucking gay.
Everyone can tell, but none of us can't get it.
But you can't.
No one can.
And you also openly admit that people can't tell you're gay all the time.
Sides of the quarter.
There is, I mean, that's true.
Dude, there are like a ton of straight people that would be hate crime before you for the hate crime of being gay.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's true.
Yes, which is why I want to go to a Trump rally.
Oh.
What do you mean?
You already do that when you go to like a fucking wedding in Nebraska.
Oh, I went to a wedding in Minot, North Dakota.
Okay.
Yeah.
And had full-on conversations with homophobic people about how they don't like gay people.
But they love you?
They will they.
No, I had to join in.
I didn't know what else to do.
What am I supposed to do?
Yeah, I hate those names.
I am too, brother.
Did you know that they have pronged tongues?
Yeah.
I mean, like, always out there trying to homophych.
I suppose a youth.
I was undercover.
Now, I was wearing, I don't know how they didn't know because I was wearing Chelsea boots and skin tight, skin-tight black jeans.
Yes, because you dress like a straight man because that was like hot in 2014.
That's precisely the reason why.
Dude, gay people were wearing that as a fashion statement in 2013.
Straight people have been wearing it as a fashion statement since 2015.
You are getting outflanked by straight people with such a bad fashion.
I'm finally getting out of it.
I'm finally starting to dress a little better.
Relegating my tight pants to only airplane rides in the gym.
It's getting a lot better.
Thankful for Hassan and some of my friends.
Thanks for watching the Fear Am podcast.
We're going to the Patreon episode now.
Gay porn review.
Gay porn review.
Can't wait.
I'm going to put on spray tanks.
We got to give Emily a proper answer.
I was about to say, Emily, is there anything you would like to promote before we move on to the paywall portion of the broadcast where we make you watch gay porn?
Oh, I'm so excited for that.
That'll be my first time.
I'm so excited.
You guys are going to get canceled.
You did not let Emily talk enough.
Oh, no, no.
Don't worry.
I'll talk more on the Patreon, surely.
Wait, hold on.
You were a part of this too, cutie.
Glad to be here.
Don't let me talk enough.
You're an honorary misogynist.
All right.
Sorry, Emily.
Thank you for letting me be on the Austin Show podcast.
It was amazing.
You're welcome.
I stay on Twitch.
I do IRL streams and other hooligan stuff.
Extra Emily.
Thank you, Emily.
Give it up, extra Emily.
Everybody follow her.
Thank you.
Oh, so you want to marry a caked up man?
Oh, I can pay for it too.
Yeah, what's your ideal man, Emily?
Oh, my gosh.
So, okay, my only thing is that I want someone that treats me well and like, you know.
Knocked out like 98% of men.
Okay.
Buys me dinner sometimes and like gets me flowers.
Okay.
Okay.
Or like, like, just like stuff like that.
Like, that's what I care about the most.
And also being able to talk to them is important.
Like, good conversation.
If I can tell them anything.
So that's like my two things that I want.
Okay.
Height, they have to be my height or higher.
How tall are you?
Five, four, and three quarters.
So height does matter.
It does.
It just has to be at least five, four, and three quarters.
What about any look?
Dicks, oh, oh.
Oh.
Dick, I don't care about.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So.
Circumcise your uncircumcised.
I don't have a reference.
Yeah.
Have you seen a circuit up or an uncirc penis?
Yes.
So uncircuit is like there's like a hat on it, right?