QTCinderella, Hasan Piker, and Austin Lee dissect Jeanette McCurdy's live show, critiquing her attention-seeking behavior during a tense audience interaction involving her boyfriend. They contrast this with a chaotic Laugh Factory incident between Dane Cook and Bobby Lee, reflecting on their own mental health struggles and travel anxiety. The group also discusses QTCinderella's $15,000 podcast acquisition by Fear and Barbie, while debating parasocial dynamics and the evolution of casual sexuality before an unexpected late-night stream interruption concludes the episode. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Ridiculous Costume Energy00:08:51
Show him Nancy Fancy.
Show him.
Look at that.
Don't mind Nancy.
He's got something going on with his brain.
Me and my brother, Bubble Fancy, Tick Fancy over here.
We're going to bring that energy Hulk Hogan.
You're going down, Hulk.
You and the boys, the Burleigh boys, you're going down, brother.
Okay.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Fear and that's right.
And happy Halloween.
Hi, Barbie.
Hey, Did you see the movie?
I did.
I saw it with you.
We're all supposed to say hey, Barbie, to each other.
Did you say hey, Barbie to each person?
Hey, Barbie.
I said it to you.
Hey, Barbie.
Oh, hey, Barbie.
Oh, hey, Barbie.
Hey, Barbie.
We already said it.
Hey, Barbie.
Hey, hey, Barbie.
Perfect.
Okay, can I take the wiggle?
I've never felt so comfortable in my own skin.
Can I take the wig off you?
I feel like this is how I'm supposed to be.
I can take the wig off you?
Yeah.
We can take the wigs off?
Yeah.
People like them, but you hate it.
I like mine too.
You want to be weird, Barbie?
This is weird, Barbie.
It's just a little itchy.
God, I feel so strong as Barbie.
Do you guys want to know?
There was a massive line outside of Spirit Halloween.
Apparently, that's an LA thing.
I went to the third person in the line.
There are two girls.
And I said, how long have you guys been waiting?
And they're like, 30 minutes.
And I said, 30 minutes?
Can I Venmo you 50 bucks and get in line with you?
And they said, yep.
Oh, hell yeah.
That is so smart.
Ruthless businesswoman.
And then I did.
And then I got our costumes.
I'm so excited to be here with you guys celebrating Halloween.
Yeah.
You look good, Barbie.
This is our Halloween episode.
Austin didn't know it was Halloween.
I kind of knew it was Halloween, but forgot.
I knew it was Halloween.
No, you didn't.
You literally said, Halloween.
It's happening now.
What day Halloween was on?
No, I knew Halloween was on October 30th.
Well, you're welcome for your costume.
31st.
It's the 31st.
I was testing you guys.
Are you?
Yeah.
Are you 75?
No, I knew Halloween was on October 30th.
I really did.
31st.
How you guys doing?
How's it going?
I'm sick and I'm tired.
Everybody is sick.
Everybody's sick.
I'm sick and tired.
I'm not.
I'm sick and tired.
Are you sick?
Somebody turn the lights on.
I don't know that song.
Never heard that song before in my life.
Cutie, are you sick?
Yeah.
I'm sick.
Will's not sick.
Hassan is sick.
Cutie, do you have a hair tie?
I need it for my hair, bitch.
No.
Bitch.
I need it for my hair, slut.
I want to do this entire podcast as a professional wrestler.
That might keep your hair back.
Yeah, I want to keep my hair back, slutty girl.
That's not how you do it.
He's just.
Is this how sleepovers are with girls?
Yeah.
No.
Do you guys call each other bitches?
That's what I picture when girls get.
Let's talk about boys right now.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you guys talk about dicks at sleep?
No!
You don't talk about dicks.
You're such a whore.
What?
Do you guys talk about other girls like behind their back?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, let's talk about other girls.
Yeah.
Let's talk about other girls behind their backs.
Okay, there's this one Barbie that won't keep their wig on and they're super cringe.
Agree.
There's one Barbie that was freaking out because their Barbie outfit wasn't as hot as the other Barbie outfits, and they were mad.
Even though another Barbie is quite literally dump truck Barbie.
Is that me?
Yeah.
You're dump truck Barbie?
I mean, this is that's a valuable position in society.
You gave me old Bertha Barbie.
And to be fair, it's because I couldn't fit in the cowboy bar.
Yeah, I was going to be Bertha Barbie till his body didn't fit.
Yeah.
I got us the only Barbie costumes available left.
My underwear is showing.
I can see my cock in this costume.
They're looking for it because you have a fanny pack that covers it.
The funniest part about your outfit is that you just look gay.
She got me gay, Barbie.
You literally got, you just look kind of gay.
Oh, you just didn't put your wig on.
What do you mean I look kind of gay?
You look like a jazzer size instructor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
Look.
Look at this.
Bro, you need to.
You're just queer bashing me.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
It needs a good old-fashioned queer bash.
First of all, this is the girlies.
Okay.
Listen.
So you need to listen.
I'm listening.
I'm listening.
You need to see the sun, my boy.
Wait.
Are you?
Hold on.
Look, this didn't.
This has turned into a roast Austin session.
Yeah.
I'm just sorry.
It's the nicest we've ever been.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to get skin cancer.
Okay.
Bro, a little bit of sun is not going to hurt you.
I'm from Oregon.
There's no sun.
You're Lebanese.
Your people need the sun.
I know.
I'm Irish too.
It smells hot.
Hot?
Like obo, oboe, B.O. B.O.?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's not me.
I never.
I'm going to go put on some clone.
You smell.
I never.
I didn't smell anything.
I didn't smell anything, to be honest.
It might be.
The good thing is, only you can smell you.
That's true.
I have a sense of the whole factory, though.
You have a sense of whole factory.
What's that mean?
He's got a powerful nose.
There's no way to talk and do this and come across a masculine person, I feel like.
You know what I mean?
Whenever I do this, I'm like, can you do this?
I feel so pretty.
Editor, if my armpits showed, put an emote over it.
Can you do the thing, Marsh?
He wants to see himself on the camera.
He wants to make sure.
That's crazy.
How do we look?
No, I don't like it.
That's why we don't check the camera.
Okay.
All right.
We look great.
We look great, cutie.
Thank you for getting me this Halloween costume that I will be wearing to another Halloween party.
And, you know, this is an easy costume.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Yeah, I was not going to go and get a costume.
No, you're Barbie.
I feel great.
So we all got back from TwitchCon, right?
How was that?
How was your TwitchCon?
Great.
Fucking okay, so cutie, you went to the sex party.
How was it without me?
By the way, thanks.
Burlesque show.
Which went to a sex party.
It was a burlesque show.
But Austin, you actually really would have liked it.
Really?
Yeah.
Was there live fucking?
No, but there were men gyrating.
And at one point, they're all dancing to a song, and then the men turn around and their butt cheeks were showing.
Oh, see.
Oh, you love both.
It takes a little bit more than that.
Oh, then you wouldn't have liked it these days.
Because that's all that showed was butt cheeks.
What do you want?
You want whole?
You want a cock and ball?
I wanted everything.
They didn't show cock and ball.
I wanted to see some ridiculous stuff.
I know there's like some, there's some freaky shows.
What do they call those?
The box in London.
Yeah.
There's some freaky.
Women throwing ping pong balls out of their vaginas.
Yeah, that's what I want to see.
You want to see some sounding?
Yeah, I want to see that.
You want to see that?
I want to see that.
Do you want to see that?
I don't want to see it, but it's like watching a train wreck.
You know, you just gotta, you can't look away.
I would look away.
I would definitely watch that.
You and Ason are having the same problem with your hair.
For sure.
Marshall, we find them hair ties.
Can you find me a hair tie, please?
Our studio is being worked on.
Yeah, we have nothing to talk about this week.
No, we do.
No, what do you mean?
Our studio is being worked on.
If we worked on the other room, yeah, I like it.
It's not done yet, but it looks good.
It looks promising.
It looks promising.
Oh, it's in the other room.
This is the second to last episode we'll be filming in this studio, folks.
Wow.
That's right.
Second to last episode.
We did it.
We did it.
We're slowly but surely eviscerating the price of this house by ruining every room.
We just need to paint it back white, surely.
Yeah, it'd be fine.
No, we already broke through the does it look like anything yet?
It looks just green.
It looks like it's not green.
It's purple.
Oh, it's not green.
I kind of fucking colorblind Barbie?
What the fuck?
It looked green.
Ablest Barbie over there.
Yeah, I am able.
I'm toxic, Barbie, bitch.
Okay.
All Barbies are toxic.
No.
Wow, say it.
Say it, sis.
Your society right now.
Say it.
I'm going to be honest.
They kind of retconned a lot of Barbie lore.
What?
You haven't even seen it.
I'm saying the movie retconn Barbie lore.
You haven't seen it.
Yeah.
She's not like a ruthless bitch.
Wait, what?
Barbie is a ruthless bitch.
No.
Marshmaw food is here as well.
Every woman who has ever looked like Barbie has been a ruthless bitch.
No.
Yes.
I don't know what.
Toxic Barbie Lore Retcon00:15:41
Do you ever go to high school?
Yeah.
Were you bullied in high school?
Yeah.
I think by women who look like what?
No, cutie thinks she looks like Barbie.
I went to high school in Seattle.
Everyone looks like a fucking hipster.
The hipsters were bullied.
Are you taking on Barbie lore the same way you take on Taylor Swift lore?
What do you mean?
Don't bring up Taylor Swift.
Oh, why not?
Cutie.
Oh, let's talk about it.
Why not?
Why can't we bring up Taylor Swift?
Oh, did the Jets fandom attack and defame me?
No, that's so funny.
They didn't.
They still love me.
The Swifties turned on me.
I heard about this.
Yeah, right.
And you kind of deserved it.
Let's talk about it.
I didn't deserve it.
Yes, you did.
Why do you run your mouth?
Why do you run your mouth?
Why would you say that about Travis Kelsey?
Yeah.
So I have a podcast.
Explain.
It's like you don't want Taylor to be happy.
Okay, for those of you who aren't fucking mentally ill stands, just explain to them what happened.
Okay.
This is what had happened.
I had, I went to Vegas.
I had different makeup artists every day.
And every single one of them, I'd be like, tell me some stories.
And they would tell me some stories.
And I had this really wackadoo makeup artist who was saying all sorts of things.
But one of the rants she went on was about how she is friends with Travis Kelsey's publicist.
I do not believe she is actually friends with his publicist for the record.
I even started off by saying you said it anyway.
I said, do you want to hear some hot tea?
I don't believe it, but, and then I said the hot tea.
Essentially, there's a problem.
There's a Swifty fandom called Galer's.
I am not a Galer.
I would like to make that very, very clear.
I do not believe Taylor Swift is gay.
I do.
No.
I'm just.
Okay.
I do too.
Say it.
I don't.
Anyway.
So I got on this podcast.
Some of us have queer pride.
Unlike you.
Put that snap away.
You don't deserve it.
What is queer pride?
You lost your snap.
What do you mean?
Why?
Because you're not a galer truther.
Like we are.
You guys aren't galors.
I assure you.
You're not gayers.
We're so gay.
She just condemned the galers.
I would just make the Taylor Swift herself condemned Taylor.
Oh, yeah.
You know why?
Because society has condemned queer love.
God gives his most devout followers his hardest trials.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
You speak on it, sis.
I can't even argue with this.
I don't know.
You can't because you can't argue.
So you said, I said, one is fine.
I said, here's some crazy tea.
She said, no, go ahead.
I said the makeup artist said she was friends with the publicist and the publicist said it was a PR relationship because everyone is speculating that's a PR relationship because it's a crazy thing to speculate.
Taylor Swift doesn't need to date someone like he's less famous than her.
Well, to be fair.
To be fair, the NFL put their shoulder into it in a way that really backs the this is a media relations.
I blame the NFL.
I think they're doing that to their own ends.
I think they are leveraging hard.
But it is tough when you see her like doing the electric slide with the fucking Bahomes family who are notoriously awful.
Wait, why are they?
His brother is like an abuser and his wife is like, well, an accused abuser, alleged abuser.
Still has to go to court, I think.
You can look that up.
And his wife has just been kind of the worst person.
Yeah.
Caroline has talked about pretty openly serving his wife at bars and how she was mean.
I think it goes way deeper.
You mean Travis Kelsey's ex, right?
Yeah.
Oh.
That was yeah, and she was mean.
But anyway, so I just mentioned that my makeup artist said that.
And then what happened was someone took that clip, ignored the words that I said where I said, I don't believe it.
I also called it hot goss, which is not credible.
I would like to make it very clear.
If I said I heard from a credible source, I did not hear from a credible source.
That's good.
That's good to know.
Hot goss unsubstantiated.
Yeah.
World.
Okay.
It is hot gossip is not, that's not credible.
Sure.
Anyway.
And so I said that.
And then the Swifties got a Galer Swifty on Twitter.
Okay, Mrs. TMZ.
No.
No.
Mrs. Breaking News.
No.
Guys, my podcast, Whine About It gets like 100k views.
Okay.
Why are we using this as a credible source?
Speaking of which, when I went into your Twitch chat and I went exclamation point podcast, whine about it comes up.
It needs more help.
Just letting you know, exclamation point podcast, follow my podcast.
Whine about it.
Cutie, listen to me.
That's what comes up when I was in your Twitch chat.
You're at your very lowest.
Your own fan base has betrayed you.
They've cut you out like a cancer.
It's you need us more than ever.
I'd like to make an announcement.
Exclamation point, Fear, and you should pop up.
We're going to, we are making, but it's not a podcast.
We're announcing the Fear and merger.
We're acquiring Whine About It.
That's right.
Yep.
In a blockbuster.
This is corporate takeover.
Yes.
This is corporate espionage.
You have no idea.
Before you go bankrupt, we're acquiring you.
I'm not saying pennies on the dollar.
It might be worth it for us.
We wrote a check for $15,000.
We have now acquired Wine About It.
Yes.
We own all the rights.
Maya has to do with appearances.
She has to do appearances.
That's a discussion.
Whenever we need to join Fear and we're acquiring Wine About It.
Well, Cutie, the wolves are at your door.
Right now, you are the most hated member of this.
No, the internet hates you.
It's lightning hot.
No, even the Palestine stuff isn't as hot as your Taylor Swift controversy.
Old Hamas and Abbey wouldn't even touch you with a stick.
No.
Speak for yourself.
The Hamas constituency is disavowed.
Way scarier.
So a Galer took the clip, put it on her TikTok.
Sorry, cutie.
It's okay.
She literally, like, not to quote, not to be a Swifty here and quote Paris, but she's like, my best friends, girlfriend, okay.
Let me find the lyrics because I don't fucking wait.
One second.
Wait, it's important.
This is a guy you got ex-communicated.
This is why you got ex-communication.
Just, I'm just a little, I'm just, oh, your ex-friend's sister met someone at a club and you kissed her.
Turns out it was that guy that you hooked up from ages ago, some wannabe-Z-lister.
That's literally what I did.
I said, my makeup makeup artist, but I don't know his friends with someone, whatever.
It's not, it's not even close to true.
And then, and then I was just, it was just a story.
It's like when someone tells you a ghost story, I'm going to tell the ghost story and say, what a crazy ghost story I heard.
You know, you said you saw Bigfoot.
My crazyfoot?
No.
I'm doing it again.
See, I thought.
Do you believe in ghosts?
We'll get there.
Okay.
Can I?
I would like to, I would like to say something.
It's Halloween.
I know.
We'll do scary.
What?
In the interest of fairness and journalistic integrity, fear and has never, ever pushed forward falsehoods about the Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift relationship.
And that was simply a totally separate podcast.
I'm on this podcast.
We love, we love our galers and our Taylors.
We only don't like the Galers.
We are Galers, but we also love Taylor Swift having a big hunky man.
Okay.
Big hunky man.
This is the dragon cutie.
Cutie is at her absolute lowest.
And we decided this is the episode that we're just going to draft.
It's finally so.
It's so nice to get the heat off of this.
Okay.
Okay.
So this, this galor on TikTok was like, see, this is confirmation.
Even though I'm sitting there saying, I don't believe it.
So then I DM her and I'm like, hey, girlie, could you delete this?
Like, I don't, I have always, I have delved in the conspiracy.
I also like have delved into like Leah Michelle can't read.
You've walked us through a lot of the conspiracies.
I'm sorry.
I walked Maya through the conspiracy.
If you asked me, excuse me, Leah Michelle can't read is not a conspiracy.
She just, that's a fact.
That's fair.
Whatever.
Conflate factually accurate information with your fake conspiracies about PR relationships, about Taylor.
What are you doing, Austin?
What?
He's texting a queen.
I'm still doing it.
I'm done.
You haven't stopped.
I'm done texting.
No matter how many times I have walked through conspiracies, I always loop back to what Taylor puts out there is the truth.
We follow Blondie.
I have always said that.
Okay.
So she is in a happy relationship.
It's literally going on.
I know it's a cult.
I'm fine with it at this point.
You did.
Of all the tweets, you tweeted one that was the most interesting.
Let me get there.
Okay.
So this Instagram account with 2 million followers called DeMois.
It is also, they actually just did a podcast with those two women that we need on our podcast that want Hassan on their podcast.
Yeah.
I've had it.
I've had it.
Yeah.
Everyone wants me.
Anyway.
These wigs have changed us.
I know.
So Dumois posted, or somebody, Dumas will do these things, but we'll be like, tell us your chaos theories.
And someone said to Dumois, Have you seen the cutie Cinderella clip?
And Dumas was like, Yeah, it's absolutely not true.
And so then they start attacking me, even though I also said it wasn't true.
Why would Dumas know?
Because Dumois is like the insider.
I don't know.
Like Prez Hilton.
I thought we follow only Blondie.
I know.
I do.
Thank you.
Thank you for clarifying.
You're welcome.
Anyway.
You're a voice for good in this world full of evil.
So then.
Hey, Marsh.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
So then 2 million people saw this and they got really mad at me.
And they were coming at me and they were like, how dare you spread the galor agenda?
How dare you talk about her relationship?
You're not a real Swift year if you're talking about a relationship.
They had the audacity to be like, why don't you ever talk about her music?
You talk about her music all the time.
In fact, I know that every fifth song is the most emotional because of you.
Yeah.
They're like, why don't you talk about her outfits of the era's tour?
Bitch, I've talked about it all.
I talk about everything about Taylor Swift.
I've talked about it all.
So they start attacking me.
They start saying, I hope your plane crashes on your way home from Las Vegas.
And you're like, jokes on you.
I don't fucking fly.
Yeah, I was like, and then I just turned it into a joke.
I said, what am I going to do with all my friendship bracelets?
Am I, do I have to rename my dog?
Do I have to rename my assistant?
Like, what should I do?
There was one other thing you stated.
Did you name your assistant off of my family?
No, I just thought it was funny.
I just thought it was funny.
There was one other thing you took.
I also see that tweet.
What was it?
My whole career, I have fervently defended outside, outside, outside the gate.
They have a picture.
Oh, boy.
It's on top of the number.
I tweeted because I've defended Swifties for so long.
You guys are like, they're as bad as K-pop stands.
They're as bad as Barbs.
They're as bad as...
And I've said, no, they are not.
We don't believe that as Swifties.
Apparently, they are.
So there was another person.
So you guys were right.
Can you say that again with our names?
With our usernames, like you said on Twitter.
And Will Neff were correct about a partial audience of the Swifties being complete psychopaths.
That is not Blondie's fault.
She can't control them all.
You're such a good fan.
It is not her fault that they are crazy.
Cutie, I support you.
I hope one day that my fans can be as fervent and feverish as you.
Yeah.
In their undying loyalty.
But she did.
This is the tea.
She came.
This is real tea.
This is not gossip.
This is factual.
Taylor Swift herself came out with a statement because 1989 Taylor's version came out yesterday.
100% from every from Pitchfork and every other outlet, which is totally valid.
This is true.
Taylor said in her statement with 1989, the prologue, she said, before that was my tweet to get the term despicable.
To get them off my back.
She said, when creating this album, 1989, I wanted people to shut off.
So I like shut up.
So I swore off dating and I took on the satire.
So if you listen to Blank Space, then nice to meet you.
Where you been?
I can show you incredible things.
That whole song where she's like, you're the next on my list.
I'm crazy.
I've heard of it in department stores before.
The best song of all time.
It is satirical.
It's satirical because gave it a 10 out of 10.
If they are calling me crazy, then like I'll play into that character and I'll make a million dollars off that song.
So that's why she wrote Blank Space, right?
So she went into 1989, not dating anyone, swearing it off.
In her statement, she was like, so I became friends with girls and I made up for lost time for like friends I didn't have when I was younger.
And I never thought that people would sensualize and sexualize those relationships, but they still found a way to do it.
So fuck you, Galers.
I said it.
Well, in the face of these two right there, sounds like a beard.
Taylor said, see you later.
No, stop.
It's just, it's so sad how society is so unforgiving of queer relationship like women on women love.
Listen, here's what it is: that famous, prominent women can still, they, they still have to hide it, hide the truth.
Here's what I think it is.
Fucked up.
I think the reason the Galers exist for many people straight Taylor Swift's music and her lyrics are a mirror.
So you hope to find a piece of yourself.
So I would assume many of the Galers had some personal interest tied to her sexuality or her hiding something.
And it spoke to them.
So listen.
Now you think I'm gay?
I know, but you are.
I know you're gay.
You're a gay T?
I don't think Ludwig's your beard.
I don't think Tercept is gay or bad or anything.
I just think it's a mirror to fans.
No, the reason why they think she's gay is there are pretty fucking damning lyrics about girl.
You already gave us a slideshow.
I remember it.
Yeah.
Your evidence was bullshit.
No, no, no.
That was John Mayer.
I'm going with Hondi.
Okay.
Wait.
You just turned.
You just said that.
Okay.
Things are moving at an alarming pace.
I have to say this.
That was confusing.
She has some songs with some lyrics that, like, you listen to them and you're like, there's no way this isn't about Carly Kloss.
But that's the thing.
Friend breakups are like sometimes more hurtful than real breakups.
I didn't know about it.
Okay.
So when 10 years going strong.
Gay as fuck.
As good of a writer as she is.
Like she's, you know, she's a great writer.
She can turn friend breakups into what sound like breakup songs.
And so people are like, oh, they were in love.
It was a friend breakup.
I like her argument being she's too good at music.
She is.
That's why people.
That's why people think she's gay.
She was too compelling.
Confusing Harry Styles Rumors00:04:27
I'm going to stay up on Twitter for a week after this episode.
Now, listen, I was willing to go to war with the Swifties for you, but you were the one that wanted peace very nobly.
So we request a piece, Swifty fan base.
We back you.
We support you.
We love you.
10 out of 10.
Yeah, 10 out of 10.
Where are your friend base that's high?
1989.
They're not going to watch this part.
Will 19.
Yeah, they already.
I said, fuck you, Galers, and they got pissed.
Yeah, they already got it.
They're already at my house.
Well, we already said we're galers.
They are galers.
They represent you.
So we're Sweden.
Does anybody have a spoon?
I don't represent you.
I represent love.
Oh, boy.
Women love women.
That's right.
Thank you.
That's crazy that you actually had a spoon.
That's thank you so much.
They didn't eat it at my desk all the time.
I literally show you incredible things.
Taylor, on 1989, she has a vault track that's about Harry Styles.
And holy shit, is it spicy?
Whoa, give us the tea, sis.
What do we talk about?
Give us the tea, sis.
Come on, Barbie.
Does she know her PR person too?
Austin.
Okay, Austin.
Look at him.
In between texting and eating soup, he dropped a banger.
Damn.
Yeah, so my hairstylist talked to Harry Styles P.R. and said this song is about him.
No, this is one of the lines is, let me finally find it when I start to find it.
This is really good.
Yeah.
These fries are God.
They're fried with very clean oil.
I feel like it's got funnel cake feel.
They almost don't even count.
I've lost more calories eating it.
I've ever had celery fries.
I wanted sweet potato and they gave me regular.
It's fucking bullshit.
I have a grouse, I just got to eat them off.
She was like, get it out of my sight, bitch.
Is this how girls are?
No.
Yes.
You guys were in college.
You were in the fraternities.
And was this how sorority girls were?
I don't know what you're talking about, bitch.
This is how every girl is.
No, what?
Fuck.
You guys are.
This has been a not beneficial episode for girls.
We've demonstrated more girl power than Margaret Thatcher, bitch.
Come on.
Margaret Thatcher.
Why are you saying that?
We want to fuck her too.
Do you want to have a song out there or if I need to help you with your geriatric ass thumbs?
Come on, girl.
Get to clicking.
Your mouth was doing all the work earlier when you were slandering Taylor.
I was never slandering Taylor.
Yes, you were.
Said it was a PI relationship.
Okay.
She says, if she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her.
You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor.
You search in every model's bed for something greater.
Oh, to be fair, he's British, so that's a big L. You can interpret that two ways.
What?
Carly Claus that he's a bad guy who sleeps around, or two, that he's laying pipe.
That's true.
Oh, God.
Harry Styles, you think Harry Stars is laying pipe?
Laying pipe.
Just fucking Python.
Do you think he's receiving pipe?
Harry Styles?
Nah.
Now you're a hailer.
I think he's Harry.
I think he's too much of like a, oh, am I a boy?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Fucking yeah.
Do I like sucking cock?
Don't know.
I'm so ambiguous.
I need to have promiscuous sex with like 50 women.
Yeah.
It's too much like that for him to be gay.
I don't look.
Yeah, no, literally.
Harry's too marketable.
Like his ambiguity.
Harry Styles isn't my type, really.
Oh, dude.
But fuck, he's going to be so bummed.
I'm going to tell him later.
This is going to be bigger than her thing on stage.
I mean, I'd fuck him, but.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God.
You're going to throw him a bone.
I'll throw him a bone.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'd fuck Harry Styles.
Why not?
These wigs have changed that.
Yeah, I know.
You guys are going to have to start wearing wigs.
I'm going to wear it all the time.
What else is going on?
I'm bored.
Entertain me, bitch.
Oh, you go.
I mean, I have something, but it's not very relevant to anything.
That's about dicks.
No, it's not about dicks.
I am in big trouble.
Why?
Female Friend Boundaries00:14:50
I stole my washer and dryer.
What?
And they broke.
And now I can't get them fixed because if I call the people, they'll know that I stole them.
Why are you admitting that?
I'll bite.
How the fuck did you steal a washer and dryer?
Well, when I moved a couple years ago, the people put the washer and dryer in my house and they told me I had to pay for them.
And I just never did.
Okay.
And you left with them.
No, they're in.
They put them in.
It was a new place.
They installed them.
They installed them, but they didn't charge me for them.
And they said, you need to call the people.
You need to call the police.
No, you need to call them.
And you need to get them fixed.
Or excuse me, you need to pay for them.
And I never called them.
Just hire a private handyman.
Yeah.
You think so?
Yes.
That took two seconds to fix it.
Yeah, that's crazy because you're the one that's supposed to be able to fix this stuff.
Wait, no, but this is like a very specific brand.
It's like a Samsung or something.
A very specific brand.
Well, no, but it's giving me error codes.
No, no one knows how to fix Samsung.
Wait, so you just hire a generic mechanic and I want to make sure that it's a fair Samsung.
Isn't that a rare Scandinavian brand?
Yeah, it's like Wolf for kitchen appliances.
It's like you have to get is that bad that I should I pay for this?
Yeah, I didn't mean to steal it.
I forgot.
But you can just hire a handy brand.
Okay.
You know what?
I'm going to go pay for him.
No, you won't.
You're not going to pay for it.
There's no shot you pay for it.
Next topic.
Cutting.
What's going on?
Yeah, what else is going on in the world?
What else do you want to lie about?
How about you change the name of your podcast to lie about it?
Ooh, I like that.
Give it here.
Yeah.
Let's move on.
I went to Jeanette McCurdy did a show.
I don't know who that is.
Are we supposed to know who Jeanette McCurdy is?
Yeah, she's from iCarly.
She just wrote the book.
I'm Glad My Mom Died.
What the fuck?
Is she glad her mom died?
Yeah, she got her mom.
I thought it's good her mom died.
Because she was a child actor and her mom used to force her to work and also used to shower her until she was like 17 and like enabled an eating disorder.
It was like really dark stuff.
It takes a lot to be talent to create talent like that, I guess.
Yeah, she's been through the ringer.
I gotta see.
I can't see in these fucking things.
You don't have to.
No one made you wear the glasses.
I know.
That's a strong book title.
Yeah, I'm glad my mom.
Her mom was evil, essentially.
Was her performance good?
Well, that was the interesting thing.
So I went with a friend.
You can't say it's bad.
Her mom died and she abused her.
Well, this isn't, their performance has nothing to do with that.
So we thought it was stand-up.
Oh.
So me and my friend go.
We wait outside.
You go in and they collect your phones.
Yeah, they put them in a bag.
Cool.
Yeah.
They did that.
I've always wanted to throw a party with that.
So if someone, so the reason they do that is if someone owns the rights to your intellectual property and it's a live show and they plan on doing a broadcast of it later, they'll seize phones and that will be like a way of controlling the media.
So when I start doing more stand-up later, I should start doing that.
Yeah, yeah.
Much more stand-up.
Yeah, how did you?
Don't say it like that.
I mean, at this point, at this point.
You guys didn't even come watch me.
You didn't even come watch.
I was busy.
Lots of people laughed.
They laughed every time.
We should also have it.
If only someone had filmed it on their phones, then we could know if it happened or not.
Anyway, I go to her show.
They collect your phones.
She did four shows.
She only posted about it on Twitter or Instagram.
So it's a really small show.
There's only 100.
You're a big McCurdy head, huh?
No, my friend is that I went with.
I don't know.
I don't know.
She liked her book.
And we thought it was stand-up.
And so we're like, that could be interesting.
And we go and they collect our phones.
We sit down.
It is not stand-up.
It is like she walked, Jeanette walks in the room.
She's like in her PJs and she like told on Instagram.
She's like, where are your PJs?
Everyone be comfy tonight.
Okay.
So we were PJs.
So she walks in and she like, she's like, so every, it's very, like, it gave me like very like artist.
Like, she was like, every show is different.
Every show is a snowflake.
I don't know what we're going to talk about the next hour and a half.
It's like a live podcast almost.
I feel like.
But terrifying because one, it's one person.
I feel like famous people, like actually famous people, not fucking losers like us.
They have like, they operate on a totally different plane of existence.
It was crazy.
Like, what the fuck?
Did you walk in and say, I don't know what we're going to talk about for the next hour and a half?
Was it good?
I mean, that's kind of what I do every day.
There you go.
I'm going to explain it.
It was fascinating.
Sure.
So it was really good.
Well, I don't know.
So essentially, what happened?
And I say this with all respect in the whole wide world to Jeanette McCurdy.
She's been through some shit.
So she first starts by, if they take your phone away, are you allowed to talk about it?
Like, is it mean of me to talk about it right now?
Okay.
So you can't leak specific bits or anything.
No, there was no, there was no bits.
That's what's going on.
It's kind of a bit in and of itself.
Am I going to get in trouble?
No.
No.
Are the McCurdy's going to come out?
Oh my God.
The McCurdy heads?
The McCurdy heads.
So she like, she like starts telling stories about the cover of her book.
Super interesting.
Everyone's laughing.
She then starts talking about like boundaries and she makes some jokes with people in the audience about like boundaries in their relationships.
And then she gets at the end.
She's starting a podcast soon.
So maybe we could get her on at some point.
I don't know.
Who knows?
You know, it could be a good promo.
Be cool.
She's starting a podcast soon.
And so she goes, okay, guys, we have about 30 minutes left.
Audience, do you want to talk about funny ads for my podcast I'm doing?
Or do you want to talk about when you're in a relationship and he has a female friend?
And so then, of course.
Relation to female friend.
That's funny ads.
Yeah.
I would like to hear funny ads.
Oh, relationship.
Relationship.
If you're in a relationship and he's got a female friend, cares.
Everyone in the audience does.
I want to know about funny ads.
See?
Tell me.
She talked about funny ads.
Everybody wants to know.
We should talk about that too.
Everybody wants to know.
So everyone.
So that's a big moment.
I would have walked up and left.
If my partner won't let me have female friends, I will not be with them.
Okay.
So everyone wants to hear the story.
She clearly has T attached to this, right?
So everyone's like, female friends, female friends.
And so she starts it off jokingly.
She's like, this bitch fucking, you know, says her name.
I don't care to spread the name or anything like that.
Okay, Hassan Minhaj.
Sorry, keep it.
I don't know what that means.
Don't worry about it.
She's going to tell us how her dog got anthrax, too.
So my makeup artist.
No, she.
So she like tells a story about how her boyfriend has been friends with this girl for 12 years and they've only been dating for seven years, her and her boyfriend.
But this girl's always giving her just that feeling, which happens.
That can happen.
Like just something, sometimes it happens.
Sometimes you get like, not good vibes.
And so, so everyone's like, oh, shit, that sucks.
You know, like, girl, that sucks.
And then they were like, well, someone in the audience, because they're just yelling out because it felt like just kind of like a conversation was like, well, what's his opinion on it?
And she was like, oh, well, he's here.
And so like a freaking Maori show, she has him come down.
Oh, how cool is that?
Well, it got really uncomfortable.
Oh, awesome.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's so awesome.
There was no phone.
I would be so mad.
I was so uncomfortable.
I don't think he was mad.
Wait, you would be mad in the audience?
No, I would be mad if my girlfriend called me up on stage to berade me about some personal grievance.
It sounds like of course.
Yeah, I break up with her.
Well, they've been together seven years.
He's awesome if you're in the audience.
Ooh.
I think there's a sunk cost fallacy to relationships.
I think you should treat just about every day the same.
If someone would violate things that you wouldn't accept on day one, you shouldn't accept them on year seven.
Oh, that's a good.
Give me an example.
Calling you on stage to bitch about what is probably one of your oldest friends in front of a live audience where you can't defend yourself.
Well, I agree with that.
It's an awful thing to do on any day of a relationship.
Can you imagine airing out your grievance in front of an audience of people that paid to see you?
I wouldn't.
So you're obviously going to be syncophantic.
I wouldn't.
I would never do that.
That's I would never do that to myself.
What?
What's that?
Yeah, like cutie, sycophantic, Jenna McCurdy fans.
Well, so he goes down there and it's like, uh-oh, this is like, this is a bad idea.
Like, the person, my friend that I met with, we immediately looked at each other.
We're like, this is a bad idea.
Like, if she wants to go.
Well, wait.
Oh, boy.
So, yeah.
So it's like, if you want to goss, tell your goss story, whatever, and then you and your boyfriend can talk about it later, right?
Like, just keep it light and fun and whatever.
Goss.
Like, you know.
People showed up in Dribble.
The issue.
Stick to the basics, bitch.
With bringing me laugh, monkey man.
The issue with bringing the boyfriend down is like the parasocialness of it makes it so much more like now choosing sides.
There's only 100 people.
He had to have co-connected beforehand.
No, he didn't.
Really?
Yeah, so he got down there and he, I would say, he handled it as best he could.
He was like, I feel bad coming down here.
This is your show.
This should be about you.
And she's like, no, they deserve to hear your side too.
And it's like, oh, God.
And this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.
Well, I think it is.
That's what's confusing.
I can't wait for the sequel.
I'm glad my boyfriend's dead.
I think it is a really healthy relationship because you can tell they've had this conversation like a thousand times.
Yeah.
But I think the problem is getting swept away in doing live shows and trying to treat your audience like friends.
I'm not being honest about your first assessment that there's something very brave about that.
Like being so candid, being so open and honest about your relationship.
But at the same time, that just feels such an ambush.
What if you have a female friend that doesn't respect the boundaries of your relationship?
Not my friend then.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Fair.
Yeah.
So listen, I'm going to be honest.
I don't have many female friends.
Not just us.
And not just us.
Well, part of it is like, I hold all my friends the same standard.
Right.
And I do think that there are lines that are a lot harder to establish with like a female friend in certain instances.
But my female friends and I are like tight.
You know what I mean?
I rely on them the same way I would my guy friends.
There's no like weirdness.
I don't have a lot of girlfriends.
Okay.
I wish I had more.
Well, I mean, yeah.
I have mostly, mostly all exclusively men in my life.
Yeah.
Typically.
Judy's one of my only girlfriends.
So would so are you guys anti-opposite sex friends or same-sex friends?
I think for me, if my partner has a friend, they have to be like, they have to respect the boundaries of our relationship.
Yeah, as long as there's no boundaries crossed, live your best life.
But what if, what if that friend came first?
It doesn't matter.
I don't think.
They need to respect the boundaries of our relationship, period.
Like I, well, I mean, boundaries, if she's, if they are disrespecting your boundaries, sure.
If they are in beef with your significant other, your SO, I have friends that if my SO got into it with, I'd be like, well, you better reassess your fucking direction because that person's known me since I was six.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
If my partner didn't like them, like I got my best friend, my best friend, Kirk.
If somebody didn't like Kirk for who Kirk was, I mean, that would never, I would never, there you go.
That would be, there would be, they'd have to deal with it.
But, but on the same front, like you said, where'd you just say they wouldn't be my friend?
I don't think whoever I would choose as a partner would feel that way about my best friend.
I think they would want to support me and have my best friend.
You'd be surprised, especially if you're really old friends.
When you have friends that go way back, like your SO will almost be like, not in my current relationship, but I've had this happen in my life, will be like jealous of how tight you are.
Like even guy?
Like, have people been jealous about how tight you and Hassan are?
Sure.
Oh, we were just talking about one literally half an hour ago before we started.
Yeah, interesting.
We both had girlfriends at the same time.
For instance, I would never let my girlfriend finish inside me.
What?
What?
They're trying to be Barbie's.
You would never let your girlfriend finish inside you?
Yeah.
I'm not trying to get pregnant.
I'm just making a joke.
I'm making a joke.
I thought it was fun.
I'm not trying to get pregnant, bitch.
That's right.
No, I'm just saying.
I've definitely experienced that.
And like, I think if you get into a relationship, I'm very cognizant about maintaining my friendships when I get into a relationship.
Because I feel like if you start breaking off friendships for a relationship, you can get isolated in your own head.
And things that that person expects from you can become way more normal.
Like the more you isolate yourself in a relationship, the more you lose perspective.
You're literally describing how narcissistic people end up isolating their partners deliberately and push them away from their friends and family so that they are hyper-reliant on that single individual.
That's a telltale first sign of abuse for those of you who don't know at home.
Let's go, sisters.
We are not here for abuse, okay?
You don't snap.
You abuse Taylor Swift.
Everyone should remember that.
I did not.
What?
Yeah.
Let them have their moment.
What?
No, we agree.
No abuse.
No abuse.
Oh, yeah.
No, we totally agree on that.
This is our episode now.
I've gotten a dick.
Wait, let me finish.
Let's talk about it.
Okay, fine.
Anyway, so he gets down there and he tells his side.
Right.
And the issue is, as soon as he tells his side, the whole audience is kind of on his side.
Because he sits down there and he's like, I've been friends with her for 12 years.
She's a psychiatrist.
She got me into therapy.
She was there for when my mom was going through some things and she got like, she helped me get her help.
And like, oh my God, cook a kakambo breaker.
Jeanette, Jeanette goes, what about the affair?
Oh.
But then he goes, her husband cheated on her.
Oh.
So she like, she's not the causer of an affair.
Like that, that doesn't make like wait.
Why would she care about his friend getting cheated on?
Bobby Lee Trust Issues00:05:01
Oh, so she, she, she.
Because I think she was bringing it up.
Can I have something wet?
I think she was to drink.
I think she was bringing it up as a way of like cold.
Oh my God.
Soda.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
The one time we behave like Austin, everybody hates it, huh?
Straight white men are being straight white men are under attack.
Do you have a fresh cold water in there?
Well, I'm sure there's.
I don't like when he does it either.
What?
I'm charming when I do it.
No.
That is really interesting.
So I think she brought up as a point of being like, she's not a trustworthy person, but in reality, that was like...
She's not a trustworthy person because she got cheated on?
Yes.
I don't think.
I did the line.
Yeah, it's fucked up.
It was weird.
It didn't make sense.
Yeah.
No, she's just jealous.
I don't.
She's at fault and she's jealous.
It was just a strange, it just sucked.
It just sucked because the whole audience is kind of like, okay, why are we sitting here?
Like, this was like, it was, she's like, ah, like, I want to be on your side.
Did she make any good points?
Um, just that.
If I was, I would have enjoyed that.
Can we let it best point is that sometimes you do have like just like women's intuition, like just a bad feeling about somebody.
That's not a good enough excuse for me.
I know, but it's not.
12-year relationship, like, been through tough times.
Well, and the girl's intuition.
The girl is married with kids, even though they had the fair.
They're still together.
Like, okay, that's even more insane.
Every single thing I found out about this woman and the partner leads me to believe that Jeanette McCurdy is absolutely in the wrong.
What's next?
You're going to be like, and also she brought up the fact that she saved an entire orphanage.
It was on fire.
And she used it as she obviously has attention-seeking behavior.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How narcissistic that she saved an entire orphanage that was on fire.
It was just, it was like sad because clearly this has bothered her for a long time.
So there's deep-rooted insecurity somewhere, right?
So it's like, this is really sad.
I mean, well, she was like abused by her mom.
So I think like that's where it comes from.
But we're all sitting there.
And this is just like, this is too serious for a live show.
It feels like.
This is really close to the bone.
And then, and then someone, because now it's awkward because they're sitting there just kind of like, if it wasn't awkward before.
So since then, someone in the audience says this.
He raises his hand and he says, I feel, I almost feel, I feel like kind of bad talking about this.
Should I not be talking about it?
I just don't talk about it.
I just don't know if I'm talking about it.
Speak on it, sister.
This is women speaking on it.
That's the name of the show.
Just, it's just like, it was just a fat, it was just a fascinating experience, genuinely.
Like, that's all I can say about it overall.
Um, so then someone in the audience, they raise their hand and they say to the guy, I don't know his name, um, Bill.
He was like, Bill, don't you feel guilty when you hang out or talk to Ashley because you know how much it bothers Jeanette?
Don't you feel guilty?
Like, don't you feel bad?
And then Jeanette immediately breaks down, starts sobbing.
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
She's like, she says that.
Yeah, that, like that.
She's like, can I give you a hug?
Fucking simp-ass, parasocialized motherfuckers in the crowd, dude, literally defending.
This is crazy.
The guy in the audience gets up, goes down, gives her a hug for like a while.
Like it's the whole audience is just like.
That's so crazy.
It was just.
Were they applauding?
Yo, people in Hollywood are so mentally ill.
So I actually, when I was much younger, was there for something just like this at Laugh Factory.
I was there the night Dane Cook had his like belt down and gotten to a huge beef with TJ Miller.
That's his name.
Miller.
It was wild.
That's a mid-off, dog.
Not at the time.
Yeah, I'm saying.
Dane Cook was my favorite comedian of the circuit.
Yeah, so this was, so this was right after Dane's brother stole like a ton of money from him.
And he went on stage.
And at the time, I was the intern at the Laugh Factory.
And he bumped Bobby Choi.
Is that his name?
Please look this up.
I always forget.
He's got a podcast too, and he's actually hilarious.
Oh, Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee.
I'm so sorry.
I fucked up his last name.
Bobby Lee.
That's friends with Ethan, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee is hilarious.
This dude's hilarious.
And if I'm remembering this all correctly, and you got to remember, this is like years and years and years ago.
And I was a baby.
Bumped Bobby Lee.
And Bobby Lee was like, fuck, because when you're like a giant comedian, you shouldn't bump people and go on before them because of the audience.
And then he proceeded to do a very long set that was super dark and he was just like tearing into the audience.
Dane Cook did?
Yeah.
It was like, it was like a Twitter beef between him and it was, it was wild, man.
It was a long back and forth, but it was like, it was like you described.
Like you could feel the audience getting like more and more tense.
Travel Breakdown Tears00:04:18
And it was like, what are we looking at?
This is weird.
Yeah.
It just, it made me feel like, it felt like a fever dream genuinely.
And I never use that sentence because I see so much that I'm like, nothing feels like fever dream anymore.
Like it's just life's crazy.
But like sitting there, it was just like, and then she stopped the hug.
She went back and she was like, well, I guess we have a lot to talk about.
That's the end of the show.
Thanks, guys.
That's gotta leave.
You want more?
What were people's reaction?
Like, could you be like, what the fuck was that?
Everyone, I think every, like, I walked out with my friend and we were both just like, I felt like we shouldn't have seen that.
And then the people behind us were literally like, yeah, I don't think we, like, that felt way too personal.
Like, so it felt, it was like, but maybe that's what she wants.
That's why I, that's why I don't want to like condemn it or anything.
Maybe it's a part of her genius.
I can't tell.
I can't tell if it's performance art or if she's just fucking lazy and has a hench on for drama.
Well, this is the weird thing.
Tickets were only 15 bucks.
Oh.
She's not making money off of this.
That's why I think, that's why I think it's genuinely just art.
$100 or $100 seats, $15, that's $150.
No, it's $1,000.
That's $1,500.
$1,500.
Math.
That's a one-way ticket from LA to Miami.
I mean, the venue at least cost in LA for two hours.
Maybe she knows the owner.
Yeah, no, it was probably $900.
Well, she's not making any money actually.
It's interesting.
She's not making any money from that.
I think that's what I've seen.
One thing we can all relate to that with, though, is like when you perform enough, sometimes your performance can become therapeutic.
Yeah.
And it just felt like maybe she just was doing a little bit too much stuff.
It felt like those Twitch streams where like you click in and you're like, oh, and stream and stream.
Or even yourself, sometimes you're like, I've got and stream.
I'm sharing too much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fascinating.
That's all I can say.
It was such an interesting experience.
It's so fucking lowbrow commentary and such lowbrow content that this is what we do normally.
Wait, what?
We overshare.
Yeah, we do overshare.
I'm saying, like, what you watched was essentially a fucking train wreck Twitch stream.
I did watch up close and personal.
You feel like you overshare, Hassan?
I don't know.
Have you ever been around a friend that you just realize is like having a breakdown?
That is wild.
That's like a wild experience.
Yeah.
Yes.
I think everyone here has had a breakdown.
Like on this podcast.
On the podcast, even.
No, I'm not talking about it.
I mean like breakdown.
He had a breakdown.
I broke down on the podcast.
We cut that.
Nobody knows this.
We can cut this again.
No, we don't have to cut it.
That wasn't like a breakdown breakdown.
I started crying.
He cried.
That was definitely a breakdown.
I started crying.
I've never seen him cry before.
Because you were mad at us for joking at you because the comments had been excessively mean towards you about the sticker.
You were worried about the.
Well, everybody was really getting on me about the Disney sticker and they were like...
We had been...
I gave Cutie a Disney sticker.
I was not going to...
I was not going to break it.
And they were so mean to me.
They're like, you're a shitty fucking piece of shit, human.
Fuck you.
How awful it would be to be his friend.
It was just like very shit that cut deep.
And so people were so mean to me.
And then I started.
Thank you.
I started crying on the podcast because the comments really started to cut deep.
And we had to cut the whole section out of the podcast.
Will had to leave.
Yes, I did.
And I started crying.
I felt so bad.
So there's a.
I left.
Yeah, Will was like texting me like, dude, is he all right?
There was like a, there was a, I don't know what episode it was, but it's clear there was like a clear like 40-minute cut.
Comes back and you're just like, no, I came back and I was like, oh, sorry, Ludwig called or something like that.
Yeah, or something like that.
But yeah, no, I completely lost that.
That was my mental breakdown.
You've never had a mental breakdown.
No, you haven't.
That I've seen.
Efflon Dombey.
Will was the best at handling it.
Both Hassan and I were like, are you okay?
You've never had a breakdown stream, but you've definitely had some breakdowns.
Dude, day one, London, that trip, you were having a breakdown.
Cut Sword Fight Section00:03:38
Was I?
You don't remember that?
Travel and San Breakdown.
I can't make any fucking content.
This trip is ruined.
I made you all do it.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Oh, yeah.
Travel, Hassan.
You have a breakdown every time we travel.
I hate travel.
It's because you fucking, he rolls into the airport with like three duffel bags over his shoulder that have like a computer and a monitor and everything works.
Everything falls apart.
He's like cramped up in the corner of this fucking hotel room.
You have anxiety breakdowns.
You have stress breakdowns.
I get like your.
I'm just like, I might as well be dead.
I wish you would just strangle me to death.
Just pull me apart like tissue paper.
And you just disappoint.
Yeah.
Dude, that's okay.
I'll just be gone.
We're all mentally ill.
We're the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We really are all.
We are.
The four horsemen of the mental apocalypse.
We really do.
That's why we work, though, guys.
Yeah.
We need to bring you my best friends.
Make friends, but keep the old.
Some are silver in the oven.
I have no idea what this song is.
You're one of my good girlfriends.
You're my only girlfriend.
I thought you were going somewhere with it.
No, I'm just saying.
I wouldn't want to lose you.
I wouldn't want to lose.
I'm not going to die.
No, I'm not going to die.
If my partner was like, I don't like kitties.
Or if Caroline all of a sudden was like, get the stop hanging on me.
What if I had a boyfriend that a boyfriend that was jealous of you guys?
That'd be crazy.
Well, I mean, Hassan and I mentioned that we had crazy girlfriends in the past, and your response was, I want that.
And then we walked you through it.
I don't want that anymore.
I don't want a crazy boyfriend.
I want a crazy boyfriend.
BPD is a woman thing.
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
I don't think that's true.
I would like a...
I want a crazy boyfriend, but like in certain aspects of the relationship.
You just want a sex fiend.
That's all you want.
But yeah.
I do.
That's so wrong, though.
No, you don't know.
Wait, what's wrong with having a sex fiend?
Is a boyfriend?
It's not even a sex.
Is it just a lot?
Is it a lot of weight?
It's a crazy person.
It's not good.
But you can be good at sex and not be crazy.
Yeah.
You want like a nympho, though?
No, I mean, I'm not like, I think a lot of people think I'm like a sex addict, and that's just not true.
I don't think people think you're a sex addiction.
I don't think people think that.
I don't know.
Anyone's ever said that.
I think people just think that.
I think you want people to think that.
No, I don't want people to think I'm a sex addict.
I think you want people to think that.
I haven't had sex in three days.
That is how you break those allegations.
Proud of you, man.
It's a big step.
Good job.
Wow.
Fucking incel over here, you know?
Do you think that we will ever get to a point where sex has less weight?
Huh?
Less weight.
I think it depends on the person.
You don't think in like 20, 30 years you might just get, hey, how you doing, bud?
You want to do a quick fuck?
Yeah.
Let's do a quick fuck.
Oh, you mean like gay sex?
I mean, like, just sex in general.
The question you're asking is, will men and women ever evolve to the point where they have gay sex?
Because, like, dogs will just fuck in public, right?
Right.
Yeah.
What if I'm just like, you know, hanging out at a party and I'm talking to someone?
I'm like, why don't you just go?
Hassan is right.
You're describing Grinder.
Yeah.
You're describing homosexuality.
Like, like, my gay.
The casual.
The casual.
The casual evolution.
The casual sexuality.
Gay sex is so casual.
You young grinder and be like, yeah, hey, you want to fuck?
We'll have a lunch meeting in 30 minutes.
Great.
We'll do it.
That's pretty cool.
Sexy Episode Behind Scenes00:06:36
We'll do it with my favorite.
And they do sword fights.
And they do sword.
Yeah.
I mean, not everybody.
I don't know anybody personally that.
I mean, I sword fight, but you could sword fight with me if you guys want to.
I'll take you up on that.
I mean, all right.
Would you sword fight me?
I'll sword fight you.
That'd be kind of awkward.
I think you're going to lose.
You think you're going to, but you're going to stay soft the entire time.
So do you think?
Oh, I haven't lost a sword fight yet.
Oh, really?
He's practicing.
I'm not going to lose a sword fight.
That's the thing.
You see, Will Neph, you'll just be best at everything.
You'll beat the shit.
I won't even be able to use.
Oh, you're going to make me have erectile dysfunction from brute force trauma.
We're talking about dicks again.
Painting I made is so good.
Just draw the ghost.
Oh, it's Halloween.
We need to do something Halloween themed.
Oh, yeah.
Tell me your spooky stories.
Do you guys want with the ghost?
The ghost stories.
Who cares?
We'll tell them.
The ghost stories on the Patreon.
Patreon ghost stories.
I got a gang of good ghosts.
I rolled my ankle in my platform Crocs.
Damn, save the scary stories of the Patreon, girl.
What the hell?
Do you think I should feel bad about talking to Jeanette's thing?
Like, clearly, maybe she didn't want people talking about it.
That's pretty pretty committed now.
Sorry, We feel 40 minutes of the space.
You chose to do that.
I would like to make it very clear.
We could have done Will Exploring Acai Bowls.
Yeah, I had Acai Bulls and I've been using a lot of face masks.
Yeah, he wanted to talk about both of those things, and you were like, No, we're talking this is the 40-minute Jeanette McCurdy hour.
Yeah, you steered the ship and Jeanette McCurdy.
We were trying to bail you out, and now you're like, Should I have talked about Jeanette McCurdy?
It was like, I tried something new, and I'm like, Okay, come on, Acai Bulls.
You're like, Let me finish.
How long are you going to go on Acai Bows?
I had 40 minutes, dude.
We can't 40.
Listen, it was no Jeanette McCurdy, but you got some good stuff.
I think Jeanette McCurdy is very talented.
It was a fascinating concept.
It's too late.
I've said it a thousand times.
Deo Moi is going to fuck you up.
Oh, they're coming back.
They're not relevant enough to get canceled this much.
Welcome to my life.
No, I'm not.
You're a big star.
I need more viewers to get canceled this week.
Welcome to my life.
You have 20k views.
You have 40k views.
Excuse me.
I've got two.
Thank you.
Look, before we go, I need to mention something.
Oh, boy.
All of these people in this room are going to be on Name Your Price in Long Beach, California.
NYPLive.com to go buy your tickets.
Hassan is so excited to be on the show.
I'm so excited.
Come see us live in person.
NYPLive.com.
And that's the last episode of Name Your Price.
That is the last.
It's the finale.
Oh, it's the finale.
It's the finale of Name Your Price.
The last episode potentially.
Say goodbye to Name Your Price.
That's right.
Forever.
We move on from Name Your Price.
No, it's over.
There's always a chance there's another season.
Forever and ever.
I think.
It's gone forever.
No, we don't know that.
There will no longer be prices.
Buy your tickets like it could be the last one.
Yeah.
Which it will be.
No, it very well could be.
Yeah, it's most likely not, but it could be.
Yeah.
You don't want to miss out on yplive.com.
I don't even look at prices anymore.
Yeah, because you just save it for Name Your Price.
Yeah, I just, I feel like it's cheating.
All right, listen, I will come back.
Austin, I will come back for another season if we rename it the price you name and it's a Japanese game show.
Oh, I like that.
I'll do it too.
Price you name.
I'll do it as well.
We got to wear it like adult diapers.
Yeah, it's an 80s Japanese game show.
We both wear full Power Ranger armor as hosts, and the games are different every time, and they're all very abusive.
And it has nothing to do with pricing or names.
You just use the tube in the bug.
You have to blow up.
Yes, dude.
Bug Tube.
Also, Nerf Crotch Bat, where you wear it like a cup and then someone just smashes you in the jets.
Okay, I got an idea.
I'll buy a place in London.
Catapult Baby.
You wear a diaper, and whoever gets thrown the furthest wins.
I'll do another, I'll do another.
I need a touring show next year.
How about Fear Hand?
Stadium Tour.
Dude, you love touring so much.
I want it.
It's weird.
It's so easy.
What if we do a team?
What if we do an 100-person show?
I make tons of money.
And we pull up our significant others and we absolutely just dog them in front of the audience.
Perfect.
I need to get in a relationship then.
It's cool.
We're going to have fans.
We're going to have fans assess our parasocial relationships with one another.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
How about a live dating show?
All right.
All right.
Patreon.com/slash fearand.
You can see the sexy episode behind the scenes.
It's going to get spooky.
It's going to get spooky.
It's going to get sexy.
We are going to probably call back the hotel, which hasn't given.
Yep.
It's very late, but we're going to call it.
Andy Money back after almost killing Marsh and Will Neff.
No money has been given back.
Yeah.
See you later, guys.
I have been using face masks.
Has anybody been using face masks?
I've been using Facebook.
Can I answer this?
My boyfriend.
Yes, put him on screen.
Oh, he died.
He didn't hang up.
I didn't push it enough time.
I didn't push it enough time.
Yeah, this is just like that one girl show.
Yeah.
Ask him about it.
Hi, sorry.
I'm at Hassan's house.
For what?
Fear and wait, why would she be here?
What would she be doing at Hassan's house?
I don't know.
Stream shit, but it's late as fuck.
I didn't think you guys have fear and stuff.
Yeah, a little suspicious.
We normally do on Sundays, but name your price is going on tour.
Name your price.
All right.
We're having gay sex and cuties here to watch.
Yeah.
We call it the Key Cinderella Cupchair.
I just, you know, you just shouldn't text it if you're going or tell me.
I shouldn't have to.
Oh.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't find my keys anywhere.
I was in a rush.
I had to go get us costumes.
It was a whole thing.
But I should have texted you and I was in the wrong day.
She was very inconsiderate.
Okay.
You know, just I hope nothing, like, you know, there's a lot of stuff that comes up in life gets between our loves.