QTCinderella, Austin Show, Hassan Piker, Will Nap, and guests Nick and Milena dissect football, Taylor Swift's carbon footprint versus Andrew Tate, and Travis Kelce's 6'5" physique. They debate concert ticket logistics in Toronto, rank Kelce against Joe Alwyn, and argue over "Burley Boys" versus "Twinks." The episode blends absurd anecdotes about unpaid gas fees, rainforest gala outfits, and intimate partner stories with critiques of Swift's fanbase fatigue, ultimately highlighting the chaotic intersection of pop culture, streamer dynamics, and personal eccentricity. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Merger of Favorite Topics00:01:23
All right, folks.
Welcome back to another episode of the Fear Ann podcast with your favorite hosts, Austin Show, Hassan Piker, Will Nap, and Cutie Cinderella.
And we've got a wonderful guest.
We got wonderful guests, actually.
We've got another guest coming later because, you know, Nick on his own is like, eh, whatever.
That's how everyone feels about me, but.
Iffy.
Yeah, it's kind of sucks.
But we have Nick and Milena on the pod.
Milena, hopefully, will be on the paywall proportion.
So if you want to get the full NMP lol experience, you're going to have to unfortunately, or fortunately, go to patreon.com slash fear and that's right.
I started off with the fucking plug so goddamn early, even though we have a million and a half different things to discuss.
This is the merger of everyone's favorite topics today.
This is where we're going to talk about football, American football, and we're going to talk about Taylor Swift, which is, again, you know, two of the, two of the favors.
We just lost 80% of our audience.
That's what you put me in there.
Yeah, we also, we obviously have Nick here.
Nick, thank you so much for coming on.
You said you've never been on a podcast.
Yeah, this is my first podcast.
Wait, really?
Yeah, I don't do these.
We used to go on one on Monday, but I can't.
We take a lot of people's podcasts, Virginia, I feel like.
You bring her in already?
What?
Did she poop?
Talking about Milena.
Football and Taylor Swift Talk00:08:16
Did she poop?
If Milena pooped, you'd know.
Did she poop?
Don't know.
Okay.
Now, this is that content.
Kaya, come here.
Come here.
No, it's fine.
Did she poop?
Cool.
Kaya had a big morning this morning.
We just worked out.
Okay.
I took Nick, Milena, Sear, Peach.
Did you guys stream it?
Yeah.
Frit.
I didn't see it.
Where?
Damn.
Damn.
Yeah.
Bro, she said, bro, she said your view count is so low that she didn't even see it on the directory.
It's because Asman was live.
Maybe the VOD didn't go up.
Did the VOD go up?
I have no idea.
It should be there.
How are your knees feeling, Hassan?
They're all right.
Last night they were not all right.
Because I was at a party talking to some random stranger and they're like, yeah, Hassan was here and then he left and he was complaining about his knees hurting.
It's funny that a random stranger is updating you on Hassan.
Yeah, that is weird.
I was like, was Hassan here?
They're like, yeah, his knees were really killing him.
So he left.
Yeah.
So last night I went to Caroline's birthday and I did my classic, like, I'm going to be here at 10 p.m.
And I'm going to leave in an hour.
I'm going to leave at 11, which I did in a timely manner because I had to wake up early and work out.
And I'm 32 years old and I fucking have bad knees.
So when I squat, my knees get like really inflamed.
That's Murat's bike that you're hearing.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
He loves being.
I thought the toilet was like getting backed up or something.
What's a bite?
Yeah, after what you did upstairs, that was.
Do not go in there, please.
Wait, really?
Did you use a bidet?
I did not.
You don't have a bidet up there.
I've tried.
No, I have a bidet in every bathroom now, including that one.
What do you mean you've tried?
Wait, wait, hold on.
Well, I mean, I haven't tried.
I mean, like, I've tried looking for one, but there was none to be found.
No, there's a bidet in every bathroom in this house now.
I decided to fashion a makeshift bidet out of toilet paper too.
Well, now I can stay here because he has a bidet in the bathroom.
Oh, now you can stay here.
Yeah, bitch, you're uninvited.
I'm going to cancel my hotel.
I have a code to your door.
Now that we are taking out one of the rooms and turning it into a podcasting studio, the number of space is pretty limited.
I'm sorry, but we have a we have a no gays allowed policy that I will be holding strictly enforced strictly strictly enforcing well not even no gays allowed specifically just one just me gay man is not allowed you can't single-handedly be an ally and then also trash the beacon of the gay community i'm i'm a foe i've never been an ally you're a beacon yes i'm i've i've i've become a gay icon Austin Austin show, civil rights hero.
I'm a civil rights hero defending the rights of Twinks as Hassan constantly tries to deprive me.
I am literally an advocate for bottoms.
I'm a bottom unionizer.
I'm salting.
You are a selfish top in straight form.
Okay.
That's not true.
Well, you went.
This is your girlfriend.
You went to the party.
Did you go to the party?
No, we had a rough night yesterday.
Oh, we got...
I'm actually banned from enterprise rental cars.
No way.
Oh, do you have a Karen-related issue?
No, it wasn't my fault.
Well, it was my fault.
I got banned like three years ago and I forgot about it.
I never fixed the ban.
Why did he get banned?
Because I didn't, you know what you have to turn your car back in and you have to pay for gas?
Yeah.
I didn't pay one time.
And what they usually do is just charge your credit card.
Yeah.
But my credit card expired.
Oh.
So they took it to collections and I just never paid it.
Oh my.
It's 30 bucks I owe them and they banned me from rental.
That's insane.
Why fuck it up your credit?
S. America, baby.
That's good.
S America, goddamn it.
That's insane.
Hell yeah.
So you landed and then you went to the rental car place.
First off, we went to the wrong enterprise and then we had to get another Uber.
It was a massive.
This is so bad.
Wait, that's America.
No, that's ubiquitous.
That's global.
You have to pay for gas in your rental cars wherever you go.
Yeah, it's $10 a gallon.
That's what they charge.
No, I'm at...
That's not like American fashion.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's not what I was talking about.
I was talking about getting banned for $30.
That's true, true.
That's what I was talking about.
That is also ubiquitous.
Yeah.
Were you banned from the Italian hotel that you refused to pay for?
If I went to that hotel, there's no way I'm checking in without having to pay for it.
I can't go back to Seattle.
What?
Yeah, I have unpaid tickets there.
They arrest me if I go back.
There's no way they're arresting you in Seattle.
How many tickets?
Just a couple.
Like, for what?
There's no total violations.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
You don't have just parking tickets.
You have like moving violations.
My man is like a serial drunk driver.
He's like, I got a couple tickets.
I'm 109 to 35 in Atlambo.
I killed him.
In Seattle, really?
Yeah, Scott has Minecraft's Lamborghini.
Oh, that's crazy.
Look, Seattle's lawless.
Typical Austin show of right-wing propaganda.
It's a lawless wasteland.
Yeah, there's no laws.
Boarded up windows.
It's one of the most quaint cities I've ever been to in my whole life.
It's lawless.
It's on fire, right, Austin?
It's completely on the fire.
You saw it on TV, I think.
And it's solely due to the Democrats.
Yeah.
I agree.
They bust down.
If you have a brick-and-mortar retail, if you're like a small business owner, okay, black small business owner selling exclusively to orphan children, they come and they blow your shop up.
Yeah, actually.
In fact, they have orphanage where they try to gay our children.
Yeah, that too.
Exclusively gay-only orphanage.
Yeah.
It's fucked up.
And they're only adopting the gay families.
That's right.
If you're not gay, they're going to turn you gay.
Yeah.
We don't talk about politics on the podcast, though.
So we won't talk about how Seattle is querifying children.
Okay, but I want to hear the story.
So what happened?
This is bad for me because I beg these people to come to California all the time.
And then it's been a horrible experience.
It really has been.
Someone order this man a sandwich.
I made it fucking worse.
Look at this.
Upstairs, it's the two like story building.
Once you finally get there, it's Enterprise Up Top and Alamo down at the bottom.
And the people at the top were like, I'm sorry, you know, we can't rent to you.
You know, you're on the list, you know?
They're like, you know what?
They would just go downstairs.
They should be able to help you, too.
So we go downstairs, wait in line.
Turns out they're both owned by the same company.
So I was banned from both.
Yeah, they own every, like, there's one car company that owns all of them.
Yeah.
And Sear can't rent because they were like, and we won't rent to anyone in your party.
Whoa.
That's that.
Now that's, that is America right there.
So keep in mind, this is over $30.
And the rental car that I was going to buy was about $600 for the whole trip.
Wait, why would they not rent to anybody in your party?
That's insane.
That's what they said.
That is insane.
Now, if I was there, it would have been different.
Why didn't Sear just say I'm not with him?
Honestly, everyone was drunk but me.
Oh.
Oh.
That's why they wouldn't rent anybody in your party.
Because they were all trashed.
Just blackout.
I'm not with that.
But the funny thing is, so once we go downstairs, the guy at top is like, why would they tell you to come downstairs?
That makes no sense.
We're the same company.
Who said it?
The guy was actually mad.
As we were sitting there, like trying to figure out what to do next, the guy from downstairs at Alamo walks over and he goes, he goes, you know what, guys?
I got a car for you.
And I go, what do you mean?
He goes, yeah, I know a guy who rents cars.
Oh, that's always a bad thing.
And I was like, do you want it?
And Millie's like, yeah, of course.
He's like, all right, they'll be here in 15 minutes to pick you up.
Oh, no.
Don't look in the truck.
Oh, my God.
So once they hook you out big time.
So some lady comes up in plain clothes.
She's like, hey, you guys looking for a car?
I'm like, yeah.
He's like, all right, she's like, follow me.
You want a car?
And she leads us down this back alley to this, to this like 16-seater minivan.
Craziest thing ever.
And we just drive to like some, you know, normal, I guess, like, I don't know how you explain it.
Like a normal parking lot?
No, it's like, it's, it's not like a professional enterprise.
It's some random off-brand.
Off-brand place.
And they're like, yeah.
And the funny is, I get in there and I'm signing the papers.
They don't have a computer.
It's all analog.
Socks rent a car or something like that?
Giraffe Costume Debate00:11:47
Something like that.
And they're all just like stamping the papers.
They're using, they're stamping shit.
The copy machine is like the one where you copy with presses.
You know, like you press really hard.
Yes.
They got like a hang crank.
Yes.
Oh, man.
It's sick.
And of course we had to pay more.
So it was like even more money to rent the car, but we got it.
Yeah, because you're a criminal.
Do you have to pay cash?
No, I pay with my credit card in this old machine that looks like they probably ripped my numbers.
Needless to say, everybody's just dreading.
And so that's why we couldn't.
That's why we just.
You're just dreading it, QD.
This dollar has probably cost upwards of $6,000 for me to attend.
What?
$6,000?
I've got something to say.
Hey, it's for good costs.
I forgot.
I just said this.
You're just doing too many events.
We got time.
We got to stop helping the rainforest.
Is that enough?
I don't even like the rainforest.
Let it burn.
It's on fire.
I chose an outfit for the gala, and I just found out yesterday after my outfit had been ordered.
I wanted to dress as an animal.
Rainforest inspired.
Not surprising.
It's the theme.
Yeah, it's rainforest inspired.
Great.
So I decided I would order a costume.
Well, turns out giraffes aren't in the rainforest.
Well, that's not.
Here's the thing.
Wait.
Listen to this.
Wait, I thought that was the joke.
Like, I thought you did it on purpose.
No, I literally did not know.
I thought giraffes.
I thought giraffes were from the rainforest.
What part of the rainforest could a giraffe cohabitate?
Seemed like I've seen it at Rainforest Cafe.
You probably have.
Yeah, Rainforest Cafe.
Do you think Rainforest Cafe is like an accurate depiction of rainforest?
I just thought that maybe gorillas?
Wait, there's not wait.
Okay, now Rainforest Cafe.
I have a whole problem with it.
No, you walk into the rainforest cafe.
There's like a talking gorilla.
You think that that's like how it works in a real rainforest?
They don't talk, but maybe they're there.
Gorillas are in the rainforest.
Yes.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay, giraffes, not in the rainforest.
Like size-wise, you know, think about how that would work.
There's no elephants there.
I've seen Lion King, yeah, but I'm not.
No, there are elephants in the rainforest, but then there could be a giraffe.
I'm with you.
That's what I'm saying.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There's an elephant.
There could be a giraffe.
I feel like giraffes are rainforest.
No, giraffes are specifically like Serengeti, Africa.
You know what I mean?
Like, we're not talking...
They're not...
How would they fit?
I'll figure it out this way.
It's true.
It's a common ancestry with horses, and there are no horses in the rainforest.
That's true.
But I didn't think that deep on it.
He also got like a full-ass costume.
Dude, you know what's crazy?
I also got a costume and my costume got delayed and is not getting here.
And Caroline bought a full costume and it got delayed and it's not getting.
I've ruined the over $1,000 in the hole in costumes that will not be here.
I, on the other hand, did not buy a costume at all because I knew that it would have an issue.
I knew that there'd be issues.
I overnighted my giraffe costume and it got here on time.
Isn't your giraffe costume just like a snuggie?
Yeah.
It's a full male adult.
You're just wearing a snuggie?
Wait, is that a little out of line?
I mean, it's a gala, but.
What are you wearing, Nick?
I have a pink suit.
Oh, like a flamingo.
Yeah, in the rainforest with the giraffes.
Well, look, this is going to be very embarrassing.
Is there a red carpet?
Yes.
No, no, no, no.
Don't tell him that.
He's just going to freak the fuck out now.
And now he's going to be like, here's what I'm saying.
This is your outfit.
You can break the internet.
Song with just a long tube.
George of the Jungle.
That was an Anaconda.
Anaconda.
Or a toucan.
Yeah.
And a cock.
But, and a cocked up.
But it has to go all the way to the ground.
You have to be slinging dogs.
I'm going to stick with the giraffe and I'm going to stuff my pants.
I could be both.
I'm going to be a giraffe with a huge cock.
Giraffes have huge cocks.
Yeah.
They do.
Yes, 100%.
I don't even know, but I. Once I found out gorillas don't have huge cocks, it kind of blew my mind.
You know what?
I'm going to go as a giraffe that married an anaconda and moved to the rainforest.
I think the reason, dude, the total length of the penis is 71 centimeters.
How many inches is that?
How many inches is that, guys?
That's like...
Wait, look at somebody has it on their wall like a, like a stuffed 27 inches!
That's a huge cock!
28, 28 inches.
Yeah, that's a big boy.
That's a big boy.
Well, good for us.
The thing is, gorillas don't have to have big penises because they like dominate by fighting.
So then it's like...
Do you ever think that maybe like that they're overcompensating by fighting so much?
I think that the evolutionary.
What's considered big for a gorilla?
No, it's like some tiny micro.
They have micro dicks.
Yeah.
It blew my mind.
Because they kill, because they kill like all of the other betas to become the alpha anyway.
So then they're like, they don't need like there's no there's no sexual competition in the gorilla.
Also, I think there's a lot of dick ripping in the like the simian.
What is a dick ripping?
Like like ripping each other's dicks off balls off and fucking.
Hold on.
She mean you're telling me the bigger cock that a human has, that means that their genetics are more superior.
So like a smuggler.
Look at his face.
Looks like a small, a guy with a small cock and be like, I'm hung like a gorilla.
That is cool.
Oh, that's awesome.
Why are you dabbing him up?
Is that what you're going to say to people going forward?
Look, why'd you get excited?
First of all, I know you want to see my penis.
But it's, it's, it's, I'm.
Oh, I didn't even tell you.
I'm above average.
I didn't even tell you.
Uh-oh.
What did you know?
Awesome fucked up.
Showing me his camera roll last night.
I saw some dick.
Oh my God.
Hey, and you said, and you pulled me to this thing.
You said, that's a nice cock.
I did.
Because that's what friends do.
Wait, he said.
Wait, I need to see your cock right now.
Behind the paywall.
Behind the paywall.
Behind the paywall, I will show you my cock.
Yeah, I need to see it.
It's not like fully on display, but you can see it.
That's crazy.
I won't see it.
I'm so sorry.
I just pictured.
I didn't take a picture.
I was a mirror photo.
He's a gay man.
But like... Trades and it's in their nature.
It's in their nature.
You've been dating Milena for so long.
Have you ever sent nudes?
No.
What?
No.
You've never sent a single nude?
No.
I don't send nudes either.
You know what?
No.
Go craft a tasteful photo of your balls and send it to us.
Send it to me.
Because feet were enough for me.
Cutie, you know this.
Wait, you're not.
Wait, what?
Wait, I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Yeah, but my feet are fucked up.
My feet aren't good enough.
But they're either yours and they're special.
Wait, do you like that?
Like, fucked up feet?
He's your feet guy.
No, I like my friend's feet.
He doesn't like my feet, though.
Oh, you know what?
When Chance got the rubble on him, I was craft a pair of feet in a lab.
Milena's.
Okay, what does what's pictures?
They're like kind of manly.
Wait, would you like to see?
Oh, my God.
We're doing this.
We're doing this behind the paywall.
Nick is going to raid our feet.
Yay!
Let's do it.
That's awesome.
I love that.
Yes.
I'm pretty sure Austin's going to have the best feet in school.
I don't know, actually.
I haven't had a pedicure.
So, do you like when people like walk on you?
No.
Like to sniff you.
Would you like it?
You said that weirdly.
Have you ever thought about it?
Like, what would it be like?
I don't know.
I used to walk on my dad when I was younger, but that's about it.
That's it.
Do you like feet in your mouth?
No.
I just like feet pictures.
I don't know.
Especially the ones that Kuda sends him.
I think he's lying.
I didn't send him feet pictures.
I think he's lying.
I think that's why feet pictures.
I've sent him Alenity's feet.
I've sent him Maya's feet.
Why are you?
Why are you facilitating feet picks for this?
That's what a good friend does.
You like a foot dealer?
What are you doing?
Yeah, she's out here cobbling feet.
What about Maya's?
Have you sold Maya's feet picks tonight?
I've sent him Maya's feet picks.
Have you that charge for it?
No.
But you see, he spent like $6,000 for you.
Wait, does he live?
Oh my God, that's how he's doing his feet are so asexual that we don't mind just peddling our friends' feet.
Wait, does Maya know that you sent her his feet?
I think she was there.
Oh, yeah.
Do you, Nick?
Let me ask you this question.
Do you think foot guys fucked up by giving the game away and like letting everybody in on it?
And then now like women paywall it?
I've been doing this for years.
Like back in Chance.
My whole adult life, baby.
Chance used to go around school and take pictures of feet and send them to me.
That's crazy.
That's a good friend.
It's so weird because it's like borderline.
Like I feel like it's a violation, but it's a foot.
But no one cares, though.
Yeah.
It's like a hand.
It's like literally, yeah.
Oh, he's taking photos of people's hands and like sending it to me.
Like no one's going to be like, wow, that's really fucked up.
It's like something that you can see.
It's not like dominant.
I didn't tell you when I had my foot epiphany.
No, what does that mean?
Okay, this is a very...
Oh, I know.
I know where he's going.
I was there.
I've never found feet attractive in my life.
Really?
Until.
I've never.
Okay.
Yeah.
I've never.
Until there's always a moment.
No, there is.
There is.
Politicon.
And what was the name?
I forget her.
Tommy Lauren.
Tommy Lauren.
Oh.
Who's like kind of the devil incarnate?
But I was like sitting front row to like support my friend like debate.
Sitting next to Katie Hopkins, who's like basically like a white supremacist terrorist.
I was like, debate.
Come on, Hathan.
Do it.
Debate.
Yeah.
And I noticed something.
Oh.
Noticed she was wearing these like white, beautiful shoes.
And inside me, there was a confusion.
I was like, her feet are very.
There it is.
And it's the only time it's ever happened to me.
And I felt like a deep, palpable shame.
Tommy Lauren foot pics.
I don't want that on my Google search.
Look up Tommy Lauren Politicon.
There's definitely photos of her at Politicon.
What's this?
Is it going to get me?
Are you excited at the idea of her?
Maybe.
Oh, no.
He's going to get horned up, dude.
Wait, debating Hassan.
No, no, no.
I didn't debate her.
Who did she debate?
She debated Anna Kasparian.
Oh, that's it.
Yeah, there it is.
Those are the ones.
The red ones right there.
Yeah.
Yeah, in the red suit.
That was started.
Wait, let me zoom in on that.
Those up.
Yeah, pull those up, Billy Ray Brains.
Wait.
Yeah, those were...
Really?
Her feet looked great.
Wait, which one?
You can't even tell her feet in this.
Was she?
I feel like it wasn't.
Do you think to beat her again?
No, I don't think it was the Annapolis Barry one.
I think it was a fish.
I think you liked your shoes, Will.
I don't know.
Where's her feet?
I think you're sexually attracted to snakes.
No, I swear to you.
It was another event where she was there then.
Yeah, yeah.
She did a bunch of things.
I'm not really into feet, but sometimes when you're in your face, you got to touch it.
You know, suck on them.
Anyway, it was a moment for me.
Yep.
It was like a whole thing.
You can't tell you the sexiest foot position.
We were so excited position.
So, and this is mostly for girls.
Mostly for girls.
Men have feet too.
Right, but men's feet aren't the same.
Okay.
You did say that your favorite feet were a masculine flip.
I guarantee Austin has nicer.
I don't think so.
So sometimes.
Can we tell you what it is?
Yeah.
So let's say a girl's going to a bathroom and the millennia does this sometimes.
She'll sit down.
Yep, there it is.
When the feet are arched like this, and you can see the arch in the foot, it is by the way.
I feel like that's a real foot guy.
I don't like go around looking for like...
I just like looking.
I don't like touching too much.
I don't like...
That's me and armpits.
Yeah.
I like armpits too.
What do you mean by that?
Oh.
How about now?
He's back.
Okay.
Weird.
That's like me and armpits.
Yeah.
I like armpits, like on men specifically, but I don't like to do anything with them.
I like the aesthetic.
Exactly.
I like the look.
It's accessory.
You don't want to nuzzle up in one?
I mean, sometimes I do.
Sometimes I sleep.
How you lick them?
Armpit Aesthetic Discussion00:14:44
Ew.
I'll tell you what.
My life.
It would be so much easier if I was a foot or armpit guy because they're just on display.
What are you, though?
Titty guy.
Really?
He's a big titty guy.
He's about as not basic, but like you're primal.
I'm primal.
He's primal.
No kissing, just fucking titties.
Yeah.
And sometimes both at the same time.
I'm a faceman.
Faceman.
Yeah, he's all about faith.
What about you, K?
Yeah.
I'm a personality man.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh, you like Josh?
You like Josh?
No, if I showed you guys all my exes, you'd be like, what the?
None of them look alike at all.
Yeah, but they all suck.
You talk shit about them all the time.
Many of them look like this.
No, God.
So their personalities are dog shit.
No.
For the most part.
Uh-uh.
They're usually nice.
Why have you talked so much shit about them, man?
Yeah.
What else am I supposed to do with my time?
Cutie, if I was a straight man, would you date me?
Yeah.
What?
Really?
What are your personality?
We'd hang out.
Cutie, if we were straight men, would you date us?
Yeah.
You guys haven't like wooed me.
You haven't like tried to.
I literally wooz you every day.
This is literally this.
Guys, I just need to build Austin up.
Gay men are superior.
Let him have it.
See, that's crazy.
I'm just saying.
You know what?
Ludwig is pretty gay, though.
So I have beef with Ludwig.
Wow.
I have beef with Ludwig.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too, actually.
I don't know if you even know.
I sent Ludwig a text.
A dick pic.
Very tasteful.
One to ten.
No, I sent him a text and I was like, Ludwig, would you do me a huge favor?
I'm really, really busy, and I need you to please invite all the members of the yard to my birthday.
Oh, yeah, he messed up.
Didn't invite a single one of them.
He didn't even tell them I was.
He didn't even show up himself.
So Aiden came up to me at my birthday.
He was like, I'm so sorry.
We all really wanted to go.
And we thought you didn't invite us.
Yeah, because you invited everyone through Ludwig.
And then you sent Nick an invite, but Nick couldn't actually go.
And Nick didn't realize that anyone else was included in that invite.
So the one person that's good at comms is Nick.
He is really good at comms, but he didn't know that it was communal.
And then Ludwig, bad at comms, didn't tell Aiden who loves parties.
Ludwig didn't even come either, right?
No, Ludwig didn't come.
I don't know why.
Well, not to jump on the guessies because he's a bad guy.
Okay, can we just say that?
Yeah, well.
Let's capitalize on his suffering.
Chess boxing canceled.
Any comments?
That's why I'm mad.
That's my favorite event.
That's your favorite event.
That's a good event.
My friend Extra Music was going to literally get CTE.
I was hoping for it.
Yeah, Sandwich was going to kill Extra Emily and viewers.
And it's gone now.
Well, it's not his fault.
We need to happen.
I could like bludgeon her or something if you want.
OTK needed that.
We needed it.
I have a question.
Would it be easier to sanction if we just get rid of the stupid fucking chess?
Yeah.
Let's just get rid of the stupid fucking chess.
Well, that's on him.
You got to tell him that.
Such a fucking weird thing.
You can't let go of the chess.
Let's just let's go.
He can't do like a pure physical thing.
Yeah, I think it would be easier to get.
Instead of chess boxing, why doesn't he do fucking smash boxing like he did?
Well, that's harder to get sanctioned than chess box.
Hassan and I will promise to do a round of Turkish oil wrestling at the event.
No.
Yes, it's for charity.
Dude, I was.
Butthole hooks.
Chess boxing is not for charity.
Cock headlocks.
Butthole hooks.
Yes.
Yeah.
You've never seen Turkish Royal Wrestling?
Oh, you weren't here when we were looking at.
Dude, we always look at gay show when you're not.
Wait, wait, wait.
You looked at buttholes when I wasn't here?
Dude, when you're not around, we look at the gayest.
Can I talk about buttholes for a minute?
No.
Yes.
All right.
Yes, no?
I'm done.
Okay.
I don't care.
For some reason, I've been getting DMs lately, and it'll start with hello.
And then two days later, if I don't respond, butthole.
But then you do respond.
No, I don't respond, but it's like there's something about my butthole.
Please respond.
No, like I say hello and they think, well, that's not enough.
So they just throw a Hail Mary and just show full hole.
It's happened on numerous occasions.
Can I ask you something?
You see a butthole and you're like, that's a perfect butthole.
Like, that gets you going or no?
I usually, well, if I don't respond, if I see you, like, and it's not doing it for me and you show me your butthole, usually it's not going to get talk to me about what a perfect butthole pig looks like.
Oh, you know what we should do in the paywall portion?
Look at buttholes.
No, farm one of your twinks for feet picks and see if Nick likes it.
Like, what, what, what, hey, Twinks.
Yes, send me some feet.
I can't.
That's optically isn't a great move.
Yeah, I agree.
That is not a good thing.
You think I should go on my story?
Hey, Twinks.
Oh, you got Twinks on your roll.
You're a coward.
You're a coward, and that's why you won't do it, but that's fine.
Wait, you want to see it?
I'm trying to Howard Stern up a bit.
My question for you is like, when you see like a butthole, when someone sends you a butthole pick, is it straight hole or like, do you like to see the ass and like the lower back?
It can't be too close to the bottom.
It just looks like a sandworm.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I don't think it'd be too close.
I think the perfect, excuse me, cutie.
I think the perfect butthole photo would be like one that would be, I'd say it needs to have butt in it.
Yeah, like the rest of the butt.
Yeah, the rest of the rest of the butt and then like the lower back.
But what about the personality?
Like you don't like, and I don't mean, I don't mean like in a, in a gay way.
I mean like personality isn't like like the angle, like the legs.
Like do you care about that?
Because like I'm thinking about it from my own perspective.
If someone was just like, here's my vagina, click, and then like they just sent me their pussy.
I have a good as much as I love pussies, I feel like that'd be weird.
What?
I'll find it.
Like a butt hole, like of you?
Yeah.
Oh, what?
Whoa!
She can only show it to me because I'm the only one that won't do anything.
I'll see if it's actually a good butt pick.
What the fuck?
You took a butthole pic?
No, it's not my butthole.
Hassan, I got a really good picture of my cock.
You want to see it?
Yes.
So, no, but it's hard to really say, but tasteful, it'd be nice.
And then also, like, I have to find you attractive before I see your butthole.
Okay.
That's somewhat informative.
Sorry.
Sorry to derail the conversation.
Wait, can you pierce your butthole?
Oh my God.
Yes, I think so.
That would make it not functional.
Bro, people pierce their dicks and shit.
Why wouldn't you be able to pierce your cut or whatever?
Why are you asking me?
I'm not making you uncomfortable.
No, you're not.
Listen, I am more like you probably than the rest of them.
Stop Googling shit that shows up on my fucking Google search results.
Oh, what is this search?
Your Google search is chalked.
The CIA is already watching you.
If I'm on stream and I click on Google, I don't want Neil Pearson to come up first.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Dancing on a rooftop.
Wait, those are belly buttons.
No, I don't.
I told you.
Yeah, no, people are piercing their Gucci.
That's not sexy.
I'm sorry.
That would hurt.
Ah, how do you take it out, though?
Ooh, that just sucks.
I don't fucking know.
I don't understand why people do that.
That's disgusting.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Well, let's move away from the subject.
Yeah, sorry.
You had a fun little story from last night, Will.
Huh?
In the bathroom.
A fun little bathroom story.
So I went to the bathroom and the bathroom was communal, both male and female.
Because California's woke.
Yeah.
Wait, was there like a private area that you could you're in?
No, there was just a piss trench that we were all in.
Wait, where people just went.
Women were like popping a squat on it.
That happens at the old hockey arena in Detroit, but yeah.
That's insane.
No, there were like, there were like five stalls within a bathroom that had like sinks.
So there's one communal line and the line was very long.
Yes.
I was in this line.
And I was, there's three girls in front of me.
And one of them was like, yeah, and it just seemed that Hassan was there.
And the other girls were like, who's Hassan?
And she's like, that famous guy is so hot.
And she's like trying to describe what he does to these other two girls.
And I am like shoulder to shoulder with them.
And I'm kind of like, this is funny.
And she's going through.
And to further explain whatever made-up job he has to them, she goes on his Instagram and she starts scrolling.
And I'm almost positive she hit a photo of the two of us together.
And I'm standing there and the conversation immediately goes quiet.
Oh.
And she puts her phone away.
And there was like this deafening silence between us as I'm trying not to like make eye contact or look at them.
And I think she was hiding like deep and palpable shame because she realized that his friend's best friend was right there.
Directly next.
You should have jumped in and been like, yeah, he's hot.
He's fucked.
I've been trying to fuck him for a year.
So was her birthday people there that you didn't know?
I just wanted to say, still got a baby.
It was like club.
Oh, I didn't know.
I got hit on by a couple women last night.
Did you?
Yeah, it was uncomfortable.
Oh, I mean, right.
Yeah, right.
It was uncomfortable.
You love it, you sluck.
Get the fuck out of here.
He can't even hide it.
This is like him when he tries to talk about fucking eating poorly.
Yeah.
I mean, look, no, they came up to me.
Oh, I had an athaibo.
Oh, so dirty.
Look, they came up to me and one, somebody knew I was gay, but kept introduced me to this wonderful young lady.
And it was just uncomfortable.
At a certain point, the conversation.
I have never heard wonderful young ladies sound so fucking dirty.
No, he's such a, he's such a Frankie Valley in the four seasons guy that like he talks like that.
A wonderful young lady.
Okay, cutie, are you mining crypto or are you looking for a butt photo?
Just type bite butt in your search bar.
I tried.
Just go take another one.
It's actually not a very good search.
Just go take another one.
I remembered it differently.
Oh, you're ashamed of your butt photo?
It's subpar.
No, cutie, that is sexy.
Wait, can we see?
No, cutie, that is sexy.
This is unfair.
That's a sexy.
Wait, you took like a, like a, wait, is it cutie?
I thought it was a sexy photo.
I thought it was.
My feet are in it, too.
I'm showing my feet.
I'm not going to tell.
What?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, how is your butt in that?
Oh, it's artistic.
The feet are towards you.
You should post it.
Wait, what the fuck?
Because I got a big butt.
I don't think people realize.
Did you take like an artistic nude?
Yeah, it was very artistic.
It was very artistic.
I sent it to a boy.
A boy?
Like, not the boy?
I think it was before Ludwig's time.
What the?
Has he seen it?
You should show it to him.
So somebody says to him right now.
That's fair as fuck because I took a video of my dick once and it's so hype that I kept it.
Well, I just don't delete anything.
It's not one I sent to Caroline.
It's like.
Is it the one with the light with the strobe lights?
So your dick looks like.
Wait, you guys showed each other dick pics?
No.
Come on.
Maybe.
No, it's just one where I'm pulling down a waistband and I'm like 60%.
So when the waistband eclipses the head, there's like a little jump a little bit.
Wait, it was a gift?
It's like, look at him.
He's so horny.
Yeah, he licked his lips.
Stop it.
I'm spraying you with water.
What the fuck?
No, I'm just walking.
You can't get that into it, dude.
He has to take his jacket off.
No, it's fine.
No, no.
I just didn't know.
He liked my butt.
I didn't know there was a group.
Fucked up in my girl.
Is it better now?
How about now?
I was going to say, is there like a group chat?
What is wrong with you?
How is it possible?
I think Austin's magnetized.
Yeah, I think so.
Is that better?
Is there like a group chat going around with dicks being sent in it or something?
Because you've never taken a dick pic.
Nick, take a dick pic and show us.
I've been in a relationship for a while.
How long?
It's not good.
It's super small.
A wee bit hairy, and it's just going to be.
A wee bit hairy.
It's going to the left.
You can do that.
Mine curves a little bit too.
Can I ask you something?
I hang left too.
Do you beat right?
I beat with the right hand.
Got to switch it up that balances it out.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
You guys don't know that?
What the fuck?
You got to switch hit or else you develop a shit.
Wait, so you mean people that have perfectly straight penises are amidextrous?
Well, I'm just saying it helps with the curve.
Did you have a curve at one point?
If you bait furiously, you can throw a bend in that bad boy.
Oh, that's probably what happened.
I feel like the way I'm pulling it would have been.
Dude, this is okay.
Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.
Let's get into it.
Oh my God.
I'm cutting the fucking dick conversation.
I'm just here.
It's what you guys talk about.
You.
You did this somehow.
It's you.
You are the problem.
Yeah.
I didn't.
Okay.
It's such a fat one.
It's such a fat story because there's a lot of different walking parts.
There's a lot of different components to the saga.
I learned so much about Taylor Swift this week that I did not want to know at all.
She is so famous.
She ate chicken with ranch and ketchup, I believe.
Seemingly ranch.
Seemingly ranch.
And then the Empire State building lit up in red and white in honor of that.
And Heinz.
Heinz has made a new fucking flavor, ranch and ketchup.
Called Seemingly Ranch.
Why is she so popular?
Taylor.
Out of because of Taylor Shaw.
White women.
Yeah, so what happened was...
Cutie, I do want to talk about one thing, though.
Oh.
Do you now think that maybe Taylor Swift is emulating your life and that she's now decided to be able to get a bunch of people?
Don't scream me so bad.
You want to hear something so sad?
Wait, this is actually sad.
So Taylor Swift is doing a premiere of her concert October 11th.
Yes.
And top Spotify listeners got an invite and they get a plus one.
You're not a top Spotify listener?
No, because you fucking lame ass.
Problem is, is my Spotify is all buried down because I use the same Spotify for stream with DMCA free shit.
So it's like, you deserve it.
So I wait.
You deserve it.
And so then I'm like so devastated.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
And then, so then I go to my agency and I said, hey, agency, I'm not famous enough to get an invite, but I will use any of my friends.
I will use them as a Trojan horse.
You want you want Hassan there?
You want Ludwig there?
You want Valkyrie there?
You want Bella Porch there?
I'll get her there.
What about you?
You guys were not on your podcast.
You didn't.
I said, well, Nab and why wouldn't you say me?
I'm the only one with a connection with the NFL.
Because they don't care.
The NFL doesn't matter.
Carbon Footprint of Flying00:03:38
This is her concert.
I bet you the NFL cares now.
I bet the NFL has some tickets now.
I don't know what's, I don't know what's going on.
You messed up.
Maybe you're not going to be able to do it.
No, no, no, no.
Travis Kelsey Jersey are up 400%.
I gave a whole list of people and I was like, I'll use them.
I will use.
I was going to use you guys up.
Use us.
I wanted to, but then they said, none of your friends are famous enough.
Wow.
And then Taylor Nation, which is a fan club, also sent out tickets.
And I was like, me, me, me.
I didn't get one.
So I'm still not going to the premiere tonight.
I'm sorry, can I?
I'm not going to be there.
And she encouraged everyone to wear reputation-esque outfits.
That is my favorite album.
Outfits.
Wait, that's the one where it's like kind of like wearing black and brown dress.
Can I say something?
That's the part of the concert.
Maybe you should try harder in being a Taylor Swift fan.
Damn.
This is crazy.
Because I got an invite.
You didn't.
I am in the top fans.
No, you didn't.
Why do you like her so much?
I need to like something.
So is she like the white woman?
Andrew Tate for white women?
Wow.
Whoa.
Wow.
Such a lock, dude.
Yeah, but she's like cool.
She's not like sexist.
But don't they think that he's cool and not sexist too?
Yeah, but she's like actually not.
No, no, no.
I would say Taylor Swift's footprint on the planet in it, like our negative footprint, but her notebook is her carbon footprint on her.
Her carbon footprint is pretty bad.
She technically is worse than Andrew Tate in that regard.
I'm saving the rainforest on behalf of her carbon footprint.
Wait, you got all of your fucking streamer friends on makeup for her?
I spent $6,000 because of Taylor Swift's private jet.
You love this.
Oh, man.
You are doing this for Taylor Swift, actually?
She's doing like a carbon credit swap.
I'll be honest.
But I thought it'd be funny to say out loud.
So maybe I'll run with it.
Yes, I am.
I don't think that her.
Is her carbon footprint really that bad?
That's really bad.
It's really bad.
She basically operates a fleet of private jets.
It's pretty cool.
No, it's not.
If a man was doing it, you wouldn't get mad.
Hold on.
Yes, I would.
They just be flying.
If you, as a person, fly like on Delta, are you?
You also have a carbon footprint.
Yes, your conference is pretty bad too.
Wait, like your carbon footprint's actually.
But I'm flying.
I'm like.
You don't feel you fly weekly.
No, I know.
Planes didn't go without you, anyways.
That's what I was going to say.
I'm flying public transportation.
Your contribution is normally marginal because...
Did you just say planes are public transportation?
Yes, it's the public transportation equivalent of the sky.
What else is there?
It's a public.
I'm saying, but it doesn't matter.
Yeah, trains would be better.
Plugs aren't in the sky.
Okay.
Wow.
That's why it's cooler.
Listen to me.
Technically, while your contribution is a fraction of Taylor Swift, because the reason why private jets are bad is because it's literally flying one person as opposed to like 100 or 200.
So that's what I'm saying.
Okay, eight people instead of fucking, you know, 200 every time.
Sometimes.
Yes.
She's not even on them, I heard.
Eight people plus dogs in comparison to 200.
Plus also all the commerce that happens with commercial aviation.
That's how YouTube deliveries as well.
Now, you travel so much that you are like one.
You're not like a Taylor Swift, but you travel so much that it almost like evens out to basically flying private a lot.
Are you thinking I'm like Taylor Swift?
No.
Awesome.
You're like Taylor Swift.
You know what?
I think like Taylor.
I did not say that.
Like Taylor, myself and Taylor, we both bring so much joy to the world, it offsets our carbon footprint.
That's insane.
Burly Boys and Travel00:14:49
Can all of you text your agents and see if we can get tickets?
Do you want me to text Billy Jones?
Yes.
Yeah, text Billy Jones on our behalf.
If you do that, I will come and live in your house for a week and be on your stream every day.
You should ask E-Rob if he has tickets.
That's what I want, Cutie.
I love that that's the sales point.
He wants me to get on the airplane.
I'll text Billy Jones at Brill that just merged with Wasserman.
Yes, that's huge.
Farm.
Probably the town.
Wait, stop with your...
I'm not negotiating with a terrorist.
You have the same agent.
Text him.
Wait, but no, hold on.
He's going to try to get me on an airplane.
God damn it.
You did.
And then you have to fly to LA.
You gassed me up.
Then you have to live in LA.
I showed you my butt.
She did show me her butt.
You have the same agent.
I know.
Will has more pulley.
Text him.
What is it?
Will has more pulley.
It's an NFL deal.
I do have more pull.
You need a Spotify deal.
No, it doesn't matter.
I'm saying with his manager, he has more pull.
Probably.
That's not.
Who's that?
Probably could get that done for you.
Billy.
Cutie, what you're doing right now is crazy.
Yeah, you are.
Just shake my hand.
Hey, Billy, it's me, Austin.
Will, you're not actually doing it.
Do we?
Well, I don't.
What am I supposed to do?
She's got connections.
I can't.
What you're doing is fraud.
Will, I don't know what to do.
What should I do?
Tickets to the business.
Will, what should I do?
She has to.
Take the phone away from her.
No, I can't.
She's a lady.
She's not doing anything.
Take the phone away from her.
It's her phone.
I can't touch a lady.
Cutie, get what you want.
Get what you want.
Nick, how do you like the podcast, by the way, so far?
Because this is literally what we do.
When we have guests over, we just like kind of don't.
She just seems like a whole bunch of friends.
I can't touch a lady.
Take the phone away.
I will never put my hands on her.
Rip it away from her off.
I feel like I'm in high school again.
You are mad.
You're mad for the test.
Use us up like a fucking.
For Taylor Swift, I will do that.
Yes.
It's the only thing.
I'm so sorry.
Should I stop throwing a vest?
Dude, text Billy right now and be like, no, only through me, not through Austin.
We need more of his after the fact.
Block it.
Also, those tickets are going to Austin.
No.
He will take me.
Austin and I'm going to go to the box.
I took him to the box.
Give them to E-Rob.
He loves Taylor Swift.
I also took E-Rob to the box.
This is the ultimate point.
Wait, E-Rob has been in your box and not us?
That's fucked up.
That's despicable.
You had a great place.
We're going to be the last people in Cutie's box.
What if we all go to Canada for her last concert?
Fly?
Vancouver, 2000.
Fly to Canada for her last concert.
I'm trying to get a box.
Canada?
Wait, last one?
I'm not going to Canada.
No, it's fine.
She's getting on a plane.
Well, she's getting on a plane.
Wait, hold on.
From what part of Canada?
Toronto.
Oh, yes.
Wait, why?
I've never been to Toronto.
He's like the Twinks.
Yeah, he's like, oh, look.
No.
Oh.
The Twinks in Toronto?
Is there something special about them?
You've made it seem like you're excited.
There's Twink.
There's special.
Twinks are special all around the globe.
Back to the matter at hand.
Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift, her best boyfriend yet, right?
You can all agree.
Rank him.
Taylor Lautner is the best one.
He was honestly, he's like, he's like, like a homie and he's like, any songs?
Any songs about Taylor?
Oh, yeah.
Back to December is about Taylor Lautner.
And it's like the only song where she's ever apologized for being like a really shitty girlfriend.
Damn.
Is she a shitty girlfriend?
She was Taylor Lautner.
Yeah.
So the best guy she's dated, she was horrible too.
Yeah, but she was also a teenager.
Didn't he kind of like go down to like a dark spiral and he's kind of like weird now?
Hello, I don't know.
He's like, chill.
Podcast is a wife.
Oh, are you sure?
Or the wife has a podcast?
Anyway, Travis Kelsey, very hot.
Travis Kelsey.
I think he looks like he's from Idaho.
He looks.
Wait, first of all, men from Idaho are hot.
I will defend Burley Boys.
Excuse me.
Travis Kelsey is.
I don't like him.
He's awesome.
I will say this.
I think he's not cute.
He is without her career out of her league.
In terms of like.
Oh, like, if she wasn't Taylor Swift, he's saying if she was like a normal person.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, he's one of the hottest men.
He's a stud.
What?
He's such a stud.
I think his brother's better looking.
Pull up his stats.
Pull up his stats right now.
Pull up his stats.
Guys, I don't think he is.
Just take Travis Kelsey's stats and it'll show up.
I thought you liked Jocks.
Look at that.
Travis Kelsey in the slot.
Look at that images.
Pull that up.
Show that to the stream.
His slot stats are so good.
Okay.
I also want to.
Pull him up shirtless.
How big is he?
How big is he?
What's his size?
He's like 6'6.
Whoa.
He's a big boy.
Dude, no way.
Really?
Oh, that's big.
That's not.
Those are random people.
That's sexy.
What it is.
That's just...
No.
What are you doing?
You have straight vision, Marsh.
He's right there.
I can't tell what he looks like.
Okay, anyway, I want to see how burly he is.
I want to see, like, look up Travis Kelsey height and weight.
Do you watch football, Nick?
Oh.
I got a buddy of mine that played with this guy.
I mean.
Can he get me tickets to the premiere on October 11th?
He probably could.
Yeah.
I don't think he's.
He's 6'5, 250 pounds, which is, by the way, you know, around my size almost exactly to a T. I'm 6'4, 245 pounds.
I'm just saying, like.
What's Taylor Swift's height and weight?
I got love for Ben Kelsey.
Taylor's beautiful.
Taylor's beautiful.
I just want to say that I know a lot of women.
I know a lot of women who consider Travis Kelsey like one of the best looking men.
Really?
I don't think he is that cute.
I feel like she's not 5'11.
Yeah, no, she's tall.
I know.
I have a picture next to her.
She's not 5'11.
Wait, you've met her?
Yeah.
What?
Didn't you literally tell her that you named your dog after her or something?
No, I forgot.
But they're a very cute couple.
They're a cute couple.
And it's nice.
He's been really respectful.
And something he's been doing, which is like feeding the fandom, which is very cute of him, is that's crazy to me.
Maybe she was slouching when I took a picture with her.
She says 5'10 to 5'11.
Okay, go on.
He's been really sweet because he won't like say too much about stuff, which is nice.
And in interviews, he's been like dropping her lyrics, which is kind of, it's just sweet.
It's just sweet.
Oh my God.
Compared to like, he's the first one that's been like actively talking about her in a positive light compared to like before that Joe Alwyn was kind of just like, I don't like, I don't want to like.
So the people who this is biggest for are Hassan and I. Because Hassan, Burley Boys, Burley Boys on top.
Back, baby.
Burly boys on top of the top.
We are changing the meta.
Timothy Charlemagne is out.
Fuck you, Timothy.
Ripple.
Bitch ass.
Weird habit.
Yeah.
Low voice.
Man's men.
Long dick slinging men are back.
Let's go.
Oh, men, Yeah.
No.
This is not good for me.
No, look, I think you are not a part of this conversation.
Why am I not a part of this conversation?
You have tailored your entire life around, one, destroying twinks and also looking, trying to look like a twink.
Look, you are a traitor to the cause.
I am not.
You could be burly if you want to.
You look like a twink.
No, I know.
I said trying to look like a twinkle.
I'm not even trying anymore.
To an old man, they would think you're a twink.
To an old man.
Well, thank you.
Okay, so much.
All I'm trying to say is you are a betrayer of the cause.
You've never grown your beard.
You're a fucking coward.
I don't want to grow my beard because I'm still a little bit more.
You would look good.
To me, if I grow my beard, I'll lose the people I'm attracted to.
That's not true.
Truly boy stonks.
The people you're attracted to, who are they attracted to?
Yes, you.
But you're 6'4, 240.
It doesn't matter if you grew a beard, you would look grizzly.
You could grow anything, and they'd be like, You need to grow a beard.
You need to grow a beard 100%.
You need to grow a beard.
The four of you all grow a beard for November.
No shave November.
I can't do it.
Is this going to be like a gala situation again?
And then we're going to have a competition.
Every time she says this, I just assume there's a presentation.
No.
I'm not growing a beard, but I could outgrow both of you.
And a beard and a beard growing.
I'm Lebanese.
Yeah, no, he, dude, that five o'clock shadow is from this morning.
Dude, I'm Lebanese.
I could outgrow.
Yeah, no, I know.
I can tell from, I can tell from your five o'clock shadow that you do have a powerful facial hair opportunity.
And it's very odd.
One day you're going to fucking bite the bullet and you're going to do it.
And then you're going to be like, I never, I don't know why I didn't do this my whole life.
The amount of Twink bussy that I passed up on is unimaginable.
But there's lots of options for me right now.
It doesn't matter.
There's even higher shelves that you have in here.
There's like a fringe group of Twinks that are like, we're not talking about holding out.
No, or holding out.
I think that there's always a higher shelf that you can reach.
And on the highest shelf is Travis Kelsey.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's not my type, but you know, my-I thought you liked jocks.
I don't like, I don't have, I don't have a type.
I've explained this a thousand times.
I just like personalities.
Oh, are you saying his personality is not nice?
He seems to be nice.
I haven't met him.
He seems to be nice.
I would have to like talk to him.
I'd have to be, you have to be, okay, this is how.
No, to be attracted to him.
You guys don't understand.
I'm actually personality-based.
And you guys have great personalities, but I've never been in the mindset.
And even you, I just said it.
I've never been in the mindset where I'm like, okay, I'm actively like dating this person.
Like, if you and I were to go on a date, maybe you could woo me.
If you and I could go on a date, maybe we would woo me.
Probably could.
But yeah, because he's funny.
Honestly, if you're funny, that's all it takes.
I'm pretty easy.
So wait, Ludwig, not really funny.
He's funny.
How does that work?
Well, actually, the first time like we hung out, I did not like him.
Really?
Yeah.
What about him?
He like was, he like farted as a joke.
That's pretty funny.
It wasn't funny.
For the first time you hang out?
Yeah.
We were just hanging out as friends for the record.
I won't fart in front of you.
I just met him.
It's a bold move.
It was, I left that trip and I was like, that guy sucks.
So did he do, did he like force it out?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
He like farted and he goes, did you pull my finger?
Oh, he didn't do a pull my finger.
That would have been even funnier if like you participated in the fart.
I'll be honest, the fact that he came back from that is pretty impressive.
I mean, that's boss.
Well, he's like, you guys, you guys don't.
You guys, I don't think you guys could ever give Ludwig enough credit.
You've seen me.
I'm neurotic.
He is so patient with me.
He's so good to me.
It's insane.
I don't deserve having that.
No, I he's insane.
I definitely see that.
My last boyfriend broke up with me or my last boyfriend.
Yeah, he broke up with me because he hated my anxiety and depression.
Cutie, you picked up poop.
He was so great.
You picked up your own fecal matter with your hand.
Wait, wait, wait, what?
What'd you do?
I thought I was dying.
And so you picked up your because my poop was black.
And that was so valid of your ex-boyfriend to break up with you.
The other thing that Ludwig does, and I don't know if you want to talk about this.
It was Peptobismal.
We might want to cut this.
Because you poop black.
Cut this.
But you admitted something to me that I think is maybe either the cutest thing or the most insane thing I've ever heard.
You've never seen Ludwig's flaccid penis.
I've never seen it.
Wait, he walks around naked all the time.
I know, but I don't look.
You don't look?
You've never seen his flaccid penis.
No, I don't.
Making eye contact with a penis is scary as a Mormon girl.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone's flaccid penis.
Piss and shit in the nude fully.
Like, he just walks around and you've never showered with him.
You've never even seen it in your peripheral vision.
If we are showering, I think I've seen it.
What?
We've seen his balls.
Have you seen his butt cheeks?
I've seen his butt cheeks.
Okay, do you make eye contact with his butt cheeks?
Yeah, but butt signs scary.
But Joseph Smith is not like that either.
I don't think I've ever seen a penis flaccid.
Wait, what?
Not any boyfriend.
I've never, I don't like make eye contact.
I love flaccid penises, but I'm not sure.
I feel like respect.
But you've you've touched it before, right?
Like a slinky shot.
Justin is speedbagging fucking soft dick.
No, like, no.
Like, I've been in the, I've like shower with guys.
Why are we talking about penises again?
You playing around like that?
I feel like that's disrespectful.
I go, oh, like, sometimes I'll use it.
Castler.
You brought it up.
Wait, no.
Did you hear what he said?
Sometimes I'll use mine to like.
They dude, they sword fight.
That's so sick, dude.
Gay people are on top.
And sometimes, like, we'll one time I started.
That's fire.
One time I started sword fighting with this guy and we ended up just getting horny and then just fucking I'm gay now.
So we started sword fighting.
It was like playful.
And then both of us started getting hard.
And then we just you know what I've realized?
That's so awesome.
The gayest thing you can do is date a woman.
Yeah.
Sometimes he's doing this awesome.
That sounds way cooler than what you have to do with women.
No, we sword fight a lot.
Sorry.
That's so fun.
I don't know how we spiraled back to penis.
We talked about Ludwig's soft penis.
Nah, stop talking about Ludwig's penis.
Yeah, cutie was screaming about Ludwig's soft penis.
Okay.
How does it make you feel?
So as a personality-based girl, it doesn't matter what you look like.
And so Travis Kelsey, I don't think he's initially attractive, but maybe if we went on a date and I'm like, he's bucksteak.
I think he like, he's very like wholesome, American.
Like he gives off the vibes of a guy who's like kind of nice and a big, he would definitely open a door for you and like be very protecting.
Are you okay, babe?
There's only a few people that like I have like seen and been like, you are attractive regardless of their personality.
Who?
Who?
Like Orlando Bloom.
Harry Styles.
Harry Styles.
Sean Mendez.
He likes super skinny dudes then.
Yeah.
Timothy.
Which is why I'm saying Travis Kelsey, big day for Burley Boys.
Actually, one of the things that I almost got the most people, people, this is early.
You guys might know there's a show called The Roger.
This was early Raj days.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm dead naming Austin.
And it was Soda Poppins.
It was Soda Poppins like Rogler or something.
And I had this clip and it was one of like my very first, yeah.
Yeah, very first clips on like LSF where I was talking.
I was like, I didn't know who Soda was before.
I wasn't a Twitch frog.
I was a normie, genuinely.
And I was like, on my stream, I was like, yeah, Soda's like actually my type, like skinny, scrawny, nerdy boy.
Because that's what I had dated.
And people were like, she's just a gold digger.
She's like all these things.
And I was like, oh, but like Orlando Bloom, sinny, scrawny, like freaking.
Maya says I have skinny, weird alien boys.
Also.
Naturally, but I think he needs to know you to actually be attracted to you.
Wave Against Taylor Swift00:03:37
No.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
He's getting kind of yoked.
He's hot.
He's really hot.
When I see him shirts, I'm like, that's a man right there.
He works out now.
Yeah, he's.
We balled up.
We balled up on Sunday morning.
He was fucking awesome.
He's looking good.
Yeah, he's looking really good.
He's always looked good, but he's not looking good.
No, like, I'm starting to get it.
I'm like, uh-oh, like, I need to start.
Like, I've got to.
I used to kind of joke about being attracted to him, but now it's getting serious.
Stop.
I can't compete with you.
You can compete with me.
You really think Ludwig.
I don't know.
She's right.
Sword fighting.
That sounds like something.
Yeah, you present that to most straight men.
They're going to be like, oh, my God, if I just found the key.
Sword fighting sounds.
I mean, it's fun.
I'm not.
Wait, so you guys would, like, if you, you're totally heterosexual, but I offer a sword fight.
I mean, it's pretty fire.
Like, it's like, I wish I was sexually attracted to dude.
So I could sword fight and then fuck.
Like, that's awesome.
Yeah, we, we, yeah, we sword fight and then, like, yeah, the winner is.
That sounds sick.
I guess the top.
That's, like, very.
I don't know.
But no, but seriously, it was, it was like one of my first sword fights.
Cutie, what else do you want?
Anyway, I can be attracted to anybody.
I would like to make that very clear.
Is Taylor Swift too popular?
Let's discuss.
Well, this is the problem.
This is what happens, and I think we should all brace ourselves for this.
Usually in society, when someone gets really, really popular, like freaking, like Jennifer Lawrence, everyone loved Jennifer Lawrence, and then they randomly just started hating her.
Ed Sheeran, everyone loved him, and then they're like, I hate that guy.
Like, they randomly just started hating.
Asmund Gold.
What?
Gotta, like, we the internet.
Yeah.
What?
Wrong person.
Michael Jackson.
Yes.
Like, randomly.
Well, he was a cutter.
Nothing.
But anyway, Taylor has already had, she had her peak.
So 1989 was like her most awarded album.
And right after that is like when shit hit the fan, like, you know, and she was one of the most hated people.
Yes, there is a there's a wave of like fuck Taylor Swift coming right now.
Right now and the Swifties at the tippity top.
The problem is the Swifties.
Swifties chill, you psychopaths.
I think also it has to deal with this.
If I'm just a normal dude.
And you keep hearing about Taylor Swift.
And yeah, I'm just scrolling my social meads.
Yeah.
Watching my TVs.
And all I keep hearing is Taylor Swift.
At a certain point, I'm going to be like, come on already with this.
What the?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just become a guy who's cast for big mouth for some reason.
You're John Mulaney.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I get it.
So I'm nervous because I think people are going to get fatigued of her.
But I won't.
I don't.
I won't.
So the Swifties are unhinged for sure.
Some of them need to chill.
And they're like kind of leaning into it as well.
Like this seemingly, like catch up a seemingly ranch thing was like a real pivotal moment.
It came from a fan account.
So she's actually dope.
I've followed her forever.
That was a pivotal moment for me where I was like, oh my God, there's just like, what the fuck?
If Taylor Swift like came out and was like, I think Karl Marx said a lot of great things, like I feel like we could have a communist revolution.
If Taylor Swift ran for president, I think there's actually a chance she would win.
I wish Taylor Swift would actually go to the UAW picket lines.
Can we make this happen?
I can't even get tickets to her premiere.
Taylor, if you're out there listening, because I know you love following up with Cutie Cinderella and what she's doing, please go to the UAW Picket Lines.
The big three have been stealing from these wonderful American workers for far too long.
Taylor Swift for President00:12:28
It's time to do what's right.
Nick, do you hate this podcast?
You guys haven't talked to Nick enough.
No, I'm just, I'm just enjoying being around such great people.
Guys, you're a host, too.
And you're on your phone.
Try to get fucking tickets.
You literally spent the first 35 minutes looking up your butthole on your fucking phone and then the rest of the 35 minutes texting Austin and Will's manager.
What'd he say?
He said for you and who else?
Will not.
Get the phone.
Get the fucking phone.
Stop.
Shut this bitch up.
It's in my boobs.
You can't touch it.
God damn it.
Boobs events.
It's fucked up.
It's fucked up that you did that.
Wait.
You know who to reply?
I have Billy's number.
Billy, the tickets are for me.
Wait, don't do it if she does that.
Use the tit phone.
Nick, what do you want to talk about?
Wait, can I have the thing?
Can I have the screen?
No, don't look.
She's.
What?
No, it's fine.
She's not getting it.
She already took it out.
I don't know how they work.
That's true.
What do you mean?
You're not Tittiesburger.
The Titan.
Yeah, but let's just...
Oh, what?
You think I would do that, boy?
And then everybody on the internet's like, did you see Will's eyes when Cutie's kid fell out?
And then I'm the bad guy.
That's true.
We're looking at boobs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is normal.
So I'm just going to be responsible.
It's natural.
It's natural.
When I know there's a phone coming out of the titty reason.
It's natural and beautiful to look at.
It's natural and beautiful.
Why?
I don't know your freaking password.
Why is it so long?
Because I'm safe.
Okay.
Nick, what do you want to talk about?
We talked about feet.
We talked about Ludwig's penis.
It's been good so far.
What else is exciting for you, bro?
What else is like, oh, this is a thing that's happening?
I have been living the last 10 years of my life in the same doldrums every single day.
Does that make you sad?
No.
No.
So doldrums is typically a term you don't put on something good.
It's just consistently...
The waves are going up.
I think you're just content.
I think you're just content.
You're not in the doldrums.
I made Nick work out this morning at 8 a.m.
And then he immediately went and ordered chicken McNuggets with a side of fries.
That's psycho behavior.
What's your cholesterol?
10 a.m.
Chicken McNuggets.
A plate of chicken McNuggets, a side of fries, and chicken cheese quesadilla, which normally is supposed to have avocado in it, which he said no avocados for me, please.
You got a chicken, cheese, quesadilla at McDonald's?
No.
No, we went to two separate restaurants.
No, no, no.
We went to one restaurant.
And he ordered all of that.
How did you get McNuggets at a...
No, they were chicken tenders.
No, not McNuggets.
Yeah, sorry.
I was being ESL.
I'm starting to realize that people that order food like that, it's like a whole nother level.
You want to see my stretch marks?
I mean, I have stretch marks too, but it's just unimaginable to eat such a thing at 10 a.m.
Crazy.
Have you ever heard of Ozempic?
I have.
I know people who take it.
Who?
Name names.
Don't name names.
I'm not going to do that to them.
Are you going to violate hippo?
I'm going to talk about Ozempic.
No, because I've never thought of you as fat.
I don't think he's fat either.
He said he's like, well, he's overweight, but obese.
I mean, what?
He is.
I am obese.
He says he's obese.
I don't think he's not obese.
Mathematically.
I look at you and I'm like, American.
Oh.
Wait, that's not...
No, that's a substitute for obese.
You just said obese twice.
That isn't a substance.
I should just, you know, no, like you're an average weight.
Thank you.
I think you're beautiful.
Thank you.
No.
Thank you.
We hit him with a beautiful natural.
That's how you know you're fucked up.
Thank you.
That's his way of saying catchphrase.
That's his bless your heart.
There it is.
Thank you.
That's his bless your heart.
You fucked up.
Honestly, you probably got some chicken grease on your face now after that.
It's good.
That was about 20 calories.
No, I think I was shocked at Nick's eating habits specifically because it's not because it's unhealthy or whatever, but like...
It's more so like chicken nuggets that fucking.
You know I get out of the doldrums.
Sure.
Every time I get Whats me up for about 40 minutes.
You eat it in the most mid-fucking burger on the planet.
Yeah, no, not anymore.
I've actually eaten healthy rice.
Do you like Smash Burgers?
Yeah, I like it.
Can we go to Love Hour tomorrow or like or like more?
A Burger She Rose.
I had Burger She Rose.
Let's go.
Yeah, let's go get a fucking good.
I think tomorrow we go to Age Lorenzo and we go to Burger She Rose.
I love that.
The other thing that I love is there was so much yelling and chaos.
I saw something in Cutie I haven't seen for many moons.
But I saw you do the cutie Cinderella face.
Oh, this?
And were you like the gears were working, dude?
Like there is something cooking in there.
What were you cooking up in there?
Oh.
Kitty, what are we cooking?
She's cooking up a new event.
Don't let her cook.
She's going to cook up a new event.
She just cooked up.
I'm not doing it.
You guys are event fatigued.
You are event fatigued and Taylor so fatigued.
Kitty's going to be like, in the middle of winter, we're doing an ice skating event for Flint's water.
I would go to that.
We have to do it outside.
We have to do ice skating.
Ice club ice skating.
Where we all do performances on ice skates.
Very dangerous.
Very funny.
But very cool.
All money goes to Flint Michigan.
Where is your woman?
Mine?
Where's your phone?
So Milena comes and goes as she pleases.
Don't tell her what to do.
And I have no control over her anymore.
That's runs for me.
I'm going to text her right now.
She runs the show.
She runs everything.
She runs the show.
And that's probably why my testosterone is so low.
Do you have low testosterone?
Yeah.
Your testosterone is low because you eat chicken.
The testosterone low and the cholesterol high.
112.
I went to the doctor.
Can you get direction?
Barely.
Really?
Yeah.
112.
You should take some.
So the doctor offered me.
You should do a stream.
Yeah.
A month-long sub-a-thon.
It would go crazy.
Just testosterone?
T-R-T-N-O-Zempic.
Oh, my God.
And it's describing.
It's called the Chattaname.
You're just describing Camp Knut right now.
Dude, your hairline is flawless, which makes sense why your T is 112.
I think that's crazy, but you're such a manly man.
I'm telling you right now, the internet has no idea who I really am.
I cannot.
What do you mean?
Are you sure?
That is what does that mean?
Like in what way?
Because everyone thinks I'm like this soy sort of guy.
Oh, yeah.
Nick, let's be honest.
I think you've grown a chocolate protein shake.
You've created a character.
I need another one.
Go ahead.
Will's trying to talk.
I have a water.
That was supposed to be quick.
Come on.
Go get a fucking protein.
It's two steps.
Why don't you guys wait?
We're almost a premium.
Yeah.
You've created a character.
You've created a human being online.
Because it is not you.
Early Twitch.
The tough guys and the all-stars were not the ones that they went for.
You have to be able to make fun of yourself.
True.
But I think there's also like, it's amazing the public perception of you versus like absolute tech genius.
Like the brilliant coordinator, the kind of mastermind behind a lot of things that doesn't really ever admit that he's the mastermind behind a lot of things.
Well, Melena's massive book.
Milena is it as well, but you would never give yourself credit for any of your planning that you do.
Maybe.
See?
He's committed to this bit.
This is the Will Bring Yourself Up 10.
Dude, I got a shirt with my JV Hot.
But this is part of the guys.
Have you sold that shirt?
You should sell that shirt.
Oh, it's your merch?
Well, no, it's like, it's like, you know, Teespring old stuff.
That's how old this is.
Oh, wow.
2007.
This is the last year I was happy.
17.
You know, you could join adult league.
I do.
I play every Sunday.
Oh, okay.
I will lean to score on my team.
Hey, I'm excited for you to bring back Game Day.
Yeah.
I think we should do it twice a year.
Please do it.
Why don't you fly out to LA?
He's allowing you guys to change the subject.
I'm talking about one of his great accomplishments.
No, he's trying to run away from OTK game.
Thank you, Will, for being so kind to me.
No, listen, I just want, I don't know if you'll admit to it or not.
What?
But you very carefully created a persona that is very much less inspiring than the real Nick Pollum.
Probably.
I'm always on the fence with everything.
I never give a real take.
I'm always joking.
You'll never catch me in any drama.
Even in the past dramas that we've all been thrown into, I did not say anything about it.
Yep.
Yeah, you're pretty good.
Let me tell you, I do got my opinions.
I feel bad.
You're fired.
Get out.
Look, Nick, you are tremendous.
You're tremendous, but can we do a game day out here?
Yeah.
Beach volleyball.
That actually was one of the plans we had to do.
Was it beach volleyball?
I need to reach out to you.
Upplay, I'm so good at it.
We need to reach them all together.
You and me.
We couldn't.
I just guarantee to keep people safe.
Oh.
We're doing beach volleyball with, you know, Hassan and one of his crazy fans come up and just, you know.
Austin, you will have officially consumed 84 grams of protein and 460 calories.
I hope you understand that by the end of this protein share.
I know a pretty private beach that only has like a one entryway in if you just station a security guard there.
Yeah, it's in Hassan's backyard.
Yeah, you could probably do it.
You could do it.
If you open it and refuse to drink it, I will fight you.
Those are.
I'll drink half of it.
Oh my God.
Why won't you drink it?
It's just a lot of calories.
Fire him.
He brought me up.
Fire him.
Oh, my God.
Get him out here here.
It's 100.
I could take 100.
It's 42 protein.
Do you have any 20 gram protein?
Marsh, we'll finish it.
We're going to go to the paywall portion now, guys.
Where I do a hate crime.
Wait, what?
I don't want a beer for that.
No, don't worry.
Not an anti-black one.
Okay, not black.
Before we go to the paywall, Nick, do you have anything to shout out?
Do you have anything you want to add?
Yeah.
Nick, Just want to shout out.
I don't know, everyone else here.
You guys are great.
Thanks for having me.
I don't know.
You are amazing, Nick.
Thank you so much.
So gracious.
Game day coming out next year.
I would like to shout out Spotify or Taylor Nation or anybody who potentially has access.
I will be your plus one if you would like to bring me to the premiere.
This is a fuck a fan contest.
I am excited to go with you.
We will not be fucking.
Did you say you would fuck for Taylor Swift?
No, we can't.
It's just a collingual term.
No, it's not.
Means I will go with you to Taylor Swift.
That's not what it means.
That's not what that means.
I feel like there's someone.
I'm going to take them to Chili's and then we're going to go to Philadelphia.
And you're going to fuck them.
That's how it starts.
And then I will never talk to you again, but I will talk about it.
Tuber 22.
Like after you fuck them, you're not going to talk to me.
I'm not going to fuck them.
Austin opened it.
I have a handsome boyfriend.
Okay, cool.
All right.
On that note, if you want to see more juicy tidbits like Nick actually raiding our feet, our naked feet, my toe is a little hairy.
Go to the Patreon at patreon.com slash fear and you'll be able to access the paywall episode and more like for our tier two subscribers.
We have a bunch of other stuff like White Hat Karen.
It's coming out.
Yeah, White Hat Karen will eventually come out in a couple years.
Every Friday.
Submit yourself to White Hat Karen.
We're collecting submissions for this.
We have so many submissions.
You could just record it.
Wait, have you been in the middle of the day?
And QD's TikTok time.
You wait.
And more.
Wait, we need to pause.
I've never missed a TikTok subscribe.
You've been lying.
No, no, no.
The first week, I only had three submissions and then it stalled.
So you did have submissions.
Yes.
No.
No, I did them.
And then I ran through them and then I complained that I didn't have enough and I haven't looked in about a week.
You have submissions.
Also, if you don't have a submission, just react to angry Karen.
I'm sorry.
So you have time to fucking sort through 10,000 horny twinks in your DMs after you openly talk about how let's streamline this.
Austin's going to do a rate my butthole for the rate show.
That would be great, actually.
I would love to.
Submit your button.
Can I rate people's buttholes?
That's a little weird.
It feels weird.
I don't know if you can do that.
TikTok Subscribe Struggles00:01:29
But hey, maybe we're not going to do that.
All right.
Patreon.com slash fearane.
Let's go.
Hassan and I had a fucking Disney day with me.
Wait, this is going to work then.
Never mind.
Fuck you, Hassan.
You'd slut!
You slut.
How dare you?
Okay, we will go.
Put it up.
Frolicking about, you harlot.
I'm done.
You took fucking squeaks to Disney the other day for Uber, gobber, boogie, fucking whatever the hell it's called.
Yeah, get rid in the face.
Okay, it's been a year and a half.
You treat us like garbage.
We are your.
We're not even an afterthought in your universe.
No, you didn't.
We were supposed to go, and then I got.
No, we did go.
No, we did go.
I'm about to lose my mind.
It wasn't on a stream, but remember you did the vlog?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, I was.
We had a great time.
You amazing guy to tour.
It was great.
Oh my god, wait.
You've done it so much, you forget about it.
We held hands.
And there's fireworks, yeah.
We had frozen margaritas.
Remember when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride?
And I was too scared to go into the movie.
I didn't know if they're gaslighting me.
There's a video over on your YouTube.
There's a video.
Chance wins.
You know what?
Do not deserve Will and I. Your life, you don't deserve