Fear, Eddy Burback, Hasanabi, WillNeff, and AustinShow dissect their YouTube metrics against The Yard before taste-testing WillNeff's spicy "Speedy's" hot sauce. They debate Jimmy Buffett's death, linking his Canadian Margaritaville tour to a "La Vita Loca" conspiracy, while critiquing Kick's toxicity following the Sam Pepper escort incident. The group explores masculinity through hypochondria, school fights, and gay gym sauna rules, contrasting pool sex magic with underwater chlorine discomfort. Ultimately, their chaotic banter on dating dynamics and hypothetical fight clubs reveals a raw, unfiltered look at modern male camaraderie and absurdity. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Revenge Episode With Jimmy Buffett00:13:30
Welcome.
Welcome back.
Fear and welcome back to the Fear and Pod podcast.
Right.
That's right.
That's the name of our podcast.
Don't wear it out.
Hello.
Today, after last week's insane episode where we had girls and gays and also Tana, which is like somewhere in between the two.
Why not both?
I decided we're going to have a only male podcast.
And yeah, digs, pussies, titties.
Am I right, fellas?
Let's go.
I feel like this is a revenge episode from last week.
Yes, it is.
Where it was the gays and the girls, and now you guys are just going to hit me.
Yeah, we're going to hate Chris.
And no man says raw, hot, wet testosterone like Eddie motherfucking bird.
That's right, dude.
I wanted to bring the guy who's just fucking oozing with it, brother.
Look at that mustache.
Don't even.
He's the hairiest guy you could think of.
Let your nuts hang, dude.
Let your nuts hang behind the paywall.
Oh, they're later down here.
They're right under the paywall.
Is there a paywall camera?
I can feel it.
They're on my leg.
That'd be great.
The paywall just waste down.
Yeah, just fucking, you know, Japanese subway creep shot style.
That's what we do.
That's how we do it.
Hey, Fear and new episode.
We're doing the damn thing.
I just want to start off with one very important piece of information.
March, can you please pull up our YouTube page really quickly?
I just want to do a quick test.
True.
This is not for you, Eddie.
Hey, for the record, we just kind of talk amongst ourselves, and you're like, you know, someone that we brought along with you were just a hand.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's literally what our podcast normally works.
Okay, so you look at that.
What is that average?
We're like 267,000, 300,000.
Pretty good numbers.
Last episode had 322,000.
Oh, I think I know where you're going with this.
Can you look up, what's the name of this other podcast?
I can't believe you're doing this.
What's the name of this other podcast?
It's called, wait, you're, you're, oh, yeah, The Yard.
Yeah.
I can't.
Can you look up?
Can you click on their profile?
We are opening up a can of worms.
Let me, let me.
Wait, what does that say?
207,000, 282,000, 260,000.
Oh, wow.
This is so petty.
Wow, it seems like our podcast, which many people have said has a bad name, which I don't think it has a bad name, is crushing another podcast.
I can't believe you've done this.
No, you want to know what's fucked up about it?
I did this to his face on the phone.
After talking to Ludd yesterday for like 35 to 45 minutes about like all of my woes, I literally was like, oh, by the way, I just looked up the yard's numbers and we're fucking crushing.
We might have kicked a giant.
We might have had the yard next episode.
Live ass nair episode, 6 million views.
Yeah, a little competition ain't hurt nobody.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I think we're whooping that ass.
Well, in celebration of that, great segue.
Great segue.
Little segment for us.
Oh, my God.
Grab a French fry.
And I got some nuggies in case.
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
Oh, yeah.
In the most shameless plug I've ever done.
I've been working on something for a long time.
Yeah, those are also mine.
Oh, wow.
I've been working on this.
What are you working on, Will?
Band of hot sauce.
No.
This is Speedy's Will Neff Edition.
Marsh, that's your bottle.
Wait, no.
Come on.
No, that's my bottle.
This is going to be a little bit more.
No, this is weird.
I need two bottles.
This is a real hot sauce.
The label looked too real.
Is this over three ounces?
Can I get this in my bag through airport security?
I do not know.
There's got to be more than this.
Oh, you can't.
So just leave it here.
Don't worry about it.
I want honest opinions.
Try the hot sauce.
I'm going to check it out.
Because I think pound for pound, dollar for dollar, I have the best hot sauce in the world.
Okay.
Ghost pepper shit you're dropping.
This is no ghost pepper.
Someone died already.
This is habanero, peach, and garlic.
Will, I'm going to tell you.
I'm going to tell you if it sucks.
Yep, please do.
I will tell you.
Tell me if it's.
I am a hot sauce connoisseur.
I love hot sauce.
It's got some back heat.
Ooh, I opened it and it went boop.
Yeah.
Well, I'm going to do this.
That smells really good.
You're the first one to try this.
Here, just put it right there.
It smells very good.
Put a lot on because it's not super spicy.
Eddie, do you want to take out of this?
Yeah, sure.
I didn't want to douse it.
I wanted to dip it in there.
You know what I mean?
I'm starting to get on that.
Give it a whirl.
I'm going to get you on the table here.
Let me balance it out.
Hasan, do you have any napkins?
Because it's going to spill.
There's holes in the top.
Yeah, I don't know why I did that.
I'm going to get it with the fry right here.
Okay, there we go.
I mean, to your credit, you didn't know there was going to be a taste test in the beginning with me.
We didn't have cups.
Oh, no, don't worry.
Even if he was prepared, he would have figured out a way to fuck it up.
Oh.
Will, this hot sauce is fire.
Will?
I told you.
I'm not even.
This is really good.
I was going to be nice either way, but this is really.
Yeah, like, Will, this is fire.
It's a bit sweet.
It's got like a little kick, like a baby kick.
It's a good sauce.
It's very good.
It's a good sauce.
This is my baby.
I'm very good.
I'm working on this.
This is a great sauce.
Yes.
I'm not saying this just to sell hot sauce for you.
Can I keep this bottle?
It's yours.
Nice.
Will, I actually...
This may have changed my life.
I knew you were going to be my biggest critic because I knew if it was bad, you would have been like, Will, this is trash.
No, it was, I pride myself on being an honest guy.
You do?
And I swear to God, this is fire.
You know what I'm going to do, Will?
What are you going to do?
Let me tell you something.
I don't do this often.
Sure.
I'm checking this as a bag.
No, no, no.
Just leave it here.
Don't worry.
Motherfucker.
No, no, no.
Don't worry about it.
Just leave it here.
I heard it's illegal.
No, I'm checking this as a bag.
I heard in the state of Oregon it's illegal.
I don't know if you understood me.
I am not just checking it in my bag.
I'm checking it as a bag.
Thank you.
I've got a baggage allowance of three.
Our meet and greet at TwitchCom.
Yes.
Our meet and greet.
The Hassan Will Neff Hassan biker we meet.
I'm giving away 200 bottles.
Oh, my God.
So first 200 people to a fucking grape.
This is good.
Give me a nugget.
Oh, for sure.
I'm dead serious.
This is.
All right.
You don't have to gas it up.
No, are we going to move on to?
No, it's really good.
No, I'm not.
In fact, Hassan, do you have a plate or something that I could use?
I'm not going to get up to get it.
Don't worry about it.
Wouldn't that be a terrible way to start a podcast?
You just put something in your mouth.
You're like, oh.
I will give constructive criticism to friends, but there's no more relief in my life when a friend shows me like a project or something they've done.
I'm like, I really love this and I can just kind of be.
So I'm a big hot sauce guy.
I don't know if you're a big hot sauce guy.
I really like hot sauce, but I haven't gone into the world of hot sauce.
No.
Yeah.
Well, amazing.
Can I put on?
Here's where you fucked up.
Eddie, you only got like a little bit of chicken nugget.
Oh, I did get 10 nuggets.
I'm dying to know.
You've got that sexy mustache.
You do.
With all your hot sauce money, you could have gotten more.
Has it been working for you?
In the sex department?
Like the sexist?
What?
Where are you moving in the sex department?
I've been in a committed relationship for over three years.
I knew that.
But I'm saying, is it working?
Yeah, no, it is.
Are you asking me?
I'm still there.
She's around.
What's next?
You're going to ask him how he fucks his girlfriend?
No.
Does the mustache help in bed?
Am I crossing the line here, Eddie?
No, I also did grow the mustache, or I guess trimmed it correctly kind of right before Chrissy and I started dating.
Okay.
So there you go.
It worked.
I like that you did that and never like, I can't fuck this up ever again.
I'm also not going to get rid of it because like it just, I don't know.
I like it a lot and now I look in the mirror and it's part of my face.
So good.
And if I get rid of it, I just feel like I'm.
I see old photos of myself, and I'm like, I'm not him anymore.
You know what I'm noticing about you?
The shape of your mustache perfectly mimics the shape of your eyes.
Oh, you have like very, you have like very almondy, beautiful eyes.
Thank you.
And you have a very almondy mouse.
I'm saying you have the what's that thing that was on TikTok?
Symmetry.
Oh, is it the insult thing?
The insult thing.
No, not the epic anthemic fault.
That's just Asian people have that, I think, right?
I only vaguely saw like one or a little bit of discussion.
Yeah, it's when you have droopy eyes.
Okay.
And do I have that correctly?
Do I do I pass?
No, you have it like going downwards.
So they're saying like you're kind of sexy eyes.
You have kind eyes.
But I think you have kind eyes and sexy eyes as well.
Yes.
It's natural.
We also need to talk about the elephant in the room.
You how I trimmed my Peeby camera.
No.
No, this is much more serious.
But we'll get to that.
Your video might have killed one of the greatest singer-songwriters in our dreams.
I doubt he saw it.
We didn't kill him.
I'm just saying you did a margaritaville video.
Oh.
And then what happened immediately afterwards?
Not immediately.
Not immediately.
About two months later, but one thing I didn't, I think, didn't help is that it was about to cross two months, but YouTube still said one month.
So people thought it was extra recent.
Oh, yeah, they do that.
Yeah, he was, he was hospitalized once when we were on the trip.
Right.
And there's this kind of discussion with Ted and I where we're like, his life is the most important thing, but we're also like wasting two months of our lives on this project.
And like, what do we do?
Because we don't want to be disrespectful.
But Jimmy held out and it ended up, I don't know, he died around friends and family and his dogs.
I have an alternative.
Okay.
I have an alternative theory of context here.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think Jimmy has lived a very let me give some context because Austin's kind of swimming in the abstract.
Yeah.
Eddie recently did an amazing video with Ted where they went and visited every margaritaville restaurant in the country in Canada.
Yep.
Okay.
Soon after, two months later, very soon, almost immediately after Jimmy Buffett pitched the bucket.
There are some that are connecting the dots.
What could this video have done?
You want me to know?
Oh, yeah.
I told Ted this already, but in private, and I think this is what happened genuinely in my head, Canon, but also I think this is real.
Number one, Jimmy Buffett lived a very long and beautiful life.
And Margaritaville was his baby.
He made him billions of dollars.
And, you know, he always wanted to live moss, right?
But he wanted to also carry the torch.
Okay, whatever.
I'm mixing up the branding for him.
But it's like pretty much the same thing.
Like, he's, you know, he choose burgers in paradise.
He wanted a life where, you know, after a long day of work, you could just slam back some margaritas and it's five o'clock somewhere.
Maybe, maybe you're, maybe you're drinking at 12, but it's five o'clock somewhere, right?
But he was very worried that in spite of the billions of dollars in franchising and the plan that he definitely shipped metric tons of cocaine in because no one has a C-plane and doesn't ship cocaine in the fucking 80s, 90s, 60s, 70s.
He was literally shot by the Jamaican police.
Just look it up if you don't believe me.
Wasn't Bono on the plane when that happened?
I don't know.
Well, more, more.
I know less than you did research when you watched it on stream.
I saw you doing research and I was like, this is more than I did.
Yeah.
More evidence that he definitely was trafficking cocaine.
But there's nothing wrong with that.
We love cocaine.
That's great.
Anyway, and in his final days, when he was very sick, I think he was like a little bit worried about how will I ensure that the legacy continues.
And then he saw the double feature.
Pet Nivison, Eddie Bearback, barebacking cheeseburgers in paradise, going to every margarita villain.
He said, this is it.
This is living La Vita Loca.
This is, they did it.
Now you're just every.
I gave him a peaceful death then you're using?
Yes, you did.
Okay.
He said, I can finally rest easy knowing full well that people will continue living Moss, living La Vita Loca.
Both are Jimmy Buffett's.
None of these are Buffett.
Both are Buffettism.
There are so many Buffettisms, and you're just throwing anything Spanish at the time.
Real parrot heads know.
You don't even speak Spanish.
The arc of my video is that I don't.
So Ted does, but I fall out of it.
So like, but I guess the energy is there.
Both sides.
He's a big both sides guy.
Both sides of trafficking cocaine and also both sides of living La Vita Loca, which is a Jimmy Buffett trope.
Not just in honor of him, but I do have a photo from the Florida Keys of the video for my wallpaper of my Apple Watch that I got.
Hell yeah.
So now I can look always and remember what he's gifted me and also money from the video.
That's also been great.
That's always good.
That's way better than the wallpaper for sure.
Yeah.
So how did you get your name, Eddie Bearback?
My parents gave it to me.
Well, not the last name.
No, His name's Burback.
Oh, Burback.
I just say Bearback.
Oh, that's your name.
Burback has got a last name.
Makes sense.
Eddie, what are you going to do?
You were way more involved in the Tana conversation.
This is cutting-edge journalism from Austin's show.
Walking Into The Call Of The Void00:06:10
What have you been into recently?
Into?
Yeah, what have you been doing?
Mainly not exciting stuff.
I'm trying to figure out what the next thing I really want to dive into for a work project is.
I also have a channel with my brother that I've just been working on.
Other than that, just like playing Tears of the Kingdom, just hanging out.
I'm not a very busy person unless I'm throwing myself into a video.
That's about it.
Well, what do you do for fun?
I play games.
I walk a lot.
Oh, wow.
I like walking around.
I'm like an old man already.
Sometimes I catch myself with my arms behind my back, like that kind of, you know, pose.
You know, the inspecting kind of old man walking around.
I stop myself and I'm like, I'm not old enough yet for this.
But I also run.
I'm doing.
Put your hand up like this and go, oh, teenagers.
Yeah.
That sort of thing.
I'll yell at any teen on Melrose that makes me feel like times are changing.
Yeah, me too.
But nowadays it's valid, which I think is a really good segue into what I want to talk about.
Hell yeah.
First topic, first point of contention here.
Teenagers have always been kind of lame.
We were teenagers.
We were shitty when we were teenagers.
Nowadays, they're like more toxic, I think, partially because we're old, but also partially because of what they're watching.
And the contents, the content they're consuming is predominantly like Aiden Ross streams, Sneeko, and the like.
And we were kind of riffing on that before we started on the stream, but I wanted to point to something here and get your guys' take on it.
Kick is a toxic shithole.
Sure.
It's out of control.
The latest thing is that they had like Sam Pepper is back.
For those of you who don't know.
Sam Pepper's British.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That's what, I mean, that stream was very much, if you're thinking bad for a camera shot on a couch or traded a couch, it's what you're thinking.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's a perfect way to describe it.
They find a fan on the ground, which they are calling Robot Andy, because, you know, very clever.
And they hire an escort for said fan, and they're filming.
And then the sex worker's phone number, obviously, is immediately found.
It leaks.
And then they start texting her and creeping her out, like the fans that are watching.
And then one of them actually reveals to the sex worker that like there's two other people that she wasn't aware of in a separate room and that like it's being live streamed.
Like everything that she's doing is being live streamed because they told her like she was being recorded, but not live streamed.
She freaks out.
She wants to leave.
She gets like very scared, wants to leave.
And then there's a brief moment where like the fan is literally trying, like the bald guy is trying to not let her leave and it's like very tense.
And then they get arrested because it was like a swatting, I guess.
They did a swatting.
You know, the usual, just normal, really cool stuff.
Every fucking terrible.
Yeah.
So that's where we're at.
And throughout this entire process, the fucking dude who was the co-founder of the live streaming service slash the online crypto gaming casino that is basically the engine that fuels it with revenue is in the chat throwing up Keck W's laughing for those of you who are uninitiated.
He was during that stream.
He was in the chat during the fucking bald guy.
Like there's, it's like him spamming like laughing emojis.
What the fuck?
Yeah, he had also hung out with Ice Siding the day before I saw because they're in Australia and he's Australian.
So, you know, really cool stuff.
I think some serious moderation is a necessity.
Wanted to, you know, open up the conversation for you guys.
Hear what you have to say while I eat the rest of these fucking fries before Will tanks them.
That's good sauce.
Well, you were talking about the teens for it.
I don't think the, I was trying to think about this actually earlier today.
Did we, I mean, we know the business was never that good for being like the kind of sexist grifter type thing.
We didn't have an internet version of somebody like Tate, even though he's like pretty relevant now.
Those types, like there wasn't like a group of those guys so overt when we were younger on the internet, right?
No, there were, but they were like not there.
They were not as mainstream.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's like there wasn't a figure that everybody had to talk about because they were so in everybody's face.
Yeah.
I think you at least made a cursory effort to hide things, right?
Like I think for us to go and look at smut or extreme violence or kind of degeneracy like that, you had to make an effort to go on like the very fringes of the internet, eat fucked and sites that had like really heinous, awful scars.
I never went to the really upsetting websites.
I was always just like, I don't want to feel bad, so I wouldn't seek it out.
I do think that there is kind of like in the same way that you get the stomach rush when you stand on the edge of a skyscraper and there's like that voice that calls to you.
The French have a word for it.
It's like the call of the void or something like that.
I think there is kind of a quality, especially for young people on the internet where like they want to see the train wreck.
And I think also live leak.
Yeah.
Ultimately, I think kick is now providing a lot of those like impulses where it's like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening.
I have to watch.
And I think there's a very real appeal to that kind of stuff.
Whether or not, you know, you should be broadcasting at all, I think that's where the real question is.
Yeah, no, I am a firm believer that like, obviously, pranksters and things of that nature are always going to exist, but like pushing boundaries is one thing, but pushing boundaries with like pushing boundaries in this direction always feels like so gross and exploitative for the average person who, you know, doesn't need to be a part of your scheme.
Pushing Boundaries And Pulling Blood00:13:37
You know what I mean?
You're like running around putting a camera in people's faces and you're making a mockery of them for an audience that is also utilizing you like a robot in the real world.
Like one of the other versions of this is Johnny Somali, the guy who recently got arrested in Japan.
He got knocked the fuck out.
He got knocked the fuck out.
He got choked out.
Oh, he's the worst.
He's this racist people who runs around Japan saying racist shit.
Yeah, he just like keeps screaming Hiroshima Nagasaki.
Does he live there and that's his like kind of whole thing?
I think he just traveled there.
Okay.
But some dude knocked the fuck out of here and his friend.
Yeah.
And then now he is actually arrested in voluntary hold for 20 to 30 days in Japan is the rule of law in Japan.
But yeah, he got arrested because he broke into a construction site and was like doing the Hiroshima Nagasaki shit again.
That's when he got knocked the fuck out.
It was really cool.
Joe was sound.
Show was sound.
That shit is pretty far.
No, no, no.
Listen to the camera.
All you have to say is...
Don't grab nothing.
Boom.
Oh!
Boom.
Do you hear it?
If it pause it?
God.
Do you hear him go, yeah?
It's one of the sickest sounds I've ever heard.
Yeah, play that again.
Let's get that Falcon Punch out.
Oh!
With a cigarette in his mouth.
That reminds me of that old camera kick video.
You know what I'm talking about?
It was like during a protest.
I forgot.
It was the person stanced up and then sweeping kick at the camera.
Oh, it's the fucking dude at the Planned Parenthood.
I think so.
Yeah, he's like kind of effet.
And you don't expect him, but then he just fucking whop.
I feel like that's crazy.
Have you ever been hit like that?
Yeah.
Have I been hit like that?
Yes.
Have you been hit like that?
No.
I've never been in a fight.
Who's hitting you guys?
What happened?
I got punched a lot.
I went to school.
Did you deserve it?
I don't know if anybody ever deserves to get the shit kicked out of them.
Yeah, but I mean, you know what I mean?
No, I didn't deserve it.
Sometimes people deserve to be honest.
I didn't deserve it.
I got knocked out cold by a kid in high school.
One of my roommates.
He just, he basically freaked out because I poked him with a stick.
And this was in boarding school.
And I like ran away.
And I think it was like snowing outside.
We were having a snowball fight or whatever.
And he came with like a aug.
And I just tapped me on the shoulder.
And he hit me in the face.
What kind of childhood was this school fight?
Bro, teenagers or something.
School fights, I understand.
That young.
Have you guys been hit like that as adults?
I mean, in college.
Shit, man.
I guess I went to community.
I never gotten a school fight.
The only person that would beat the shit out of me, I guess, is my fraternal twin brother.
And we were not fighting in my mom's basement at community.
You and your fraternal twin brother deathmatch right now.
Who wins?
I don't...
I don't, if like, if we don't, it's like removing we don't know each other.
Right now I'm taking that your brother wins.
I am bigger than Tony.
Okay.
So, but also like, I, I mean, we would have to kill your brother if it came down to it, dude.
We would have to be like reprogrammed to where I wouldn't, I don't think I could hurt.
You are in a pit.
Well, then I'd let him kill me.
Wow.
I'm not going to kill my brother.
That's beautiful.
Does your brother have a mustache?
Like no, he has a beard, though.
Oh, okay.
Darrett.
Facial hair runs in the family.
Yeah, yeah.
So in a life or death scenario, you just choose.
Life or death, I'm letting Tony kill me, but also I think Tony would let me kill him.
So I think we just hang out for a while until we starve to death.
Fair.
Hassan, could you kill me?
Yes.
Yeah.
Could or would?
I would buy kills.
You would you could kill me?
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, I know you could kill me, but like, could you?
That was the question.
Could you emotionally kill me?
Yeah, yeah.
Depends.
I know physically.
Oh, depends.
Depends on how you've been behaving.
What have you done?
What have you done that I?
I still have no empathy for killing me.
After another Tana podcast, he's all in on killing.
He code switches.
He was all girly, girl.
He was all girly.
This guy, he's all manly, manly right now.
Which is not like my thing.
It's just visually the same thing.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Are you serious?
You know, all of the stuff that we say and do is recorded on camera.
Yeah, I know.
I stand by what it is.
You think people won't be able to notice how different you are right now in comparison to the last episode where you were like, hey.
You're a little girly girl last week.
Oh, yeah.
He was all Tana's bestie and everything like that.
Now he's a manly man.
I'm not a manly man.
It's the mustache tricks everybody.
I'm not.
No, Eddie's a manly man.
He's lying to you.
You're a manly man.
That's what manly man is.
That's the man you do.
Not much, man.
I don't even, I don't like.
Just if you had to name something that someone went, damn, that is grizzled.
I think visually that's all I got.
I think you think the mustache is the grizzliest.
Okay, wait, hold on.
Okay, let me ask a question then.
Do you use body wash on your face?
No.
Oh, yeah.
You have a girlfriend in three years, actually.
Wait, even before?
I don't have a good...
I guess not having a solid skincare routine is probably the most grizzled thing that I do.
I just kind of do it as is.
But like, I don't, before Chrissy and I dated, no, like, a two-in-one shampoo or anything.
I condition.
I also have an older sister.
So do you use the same thing?
What's the grisliest thing you do?
The grizzliest thing.
The grisliest thing.
Defends the Vikings specifically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, the grizzlest thing, like, in my routine.
No, just, what, what can you do that's like pretty fucking manly?
Pretty fucking manly.
God damn.
I don't know.
I'm telling you, the way he dressed football.
Yeah.
I watched football and I get really into.
So I was at a football game this weekend.
I went to the U of the Ducks and Colorado Buffaloes game.
Sure.
And I'd say the grisliest thing is when I know, like, for as much as Hassan has taught me about politics and the problems with the military-industrial complex, there is something that gets me so rock hard when the fucking national anthem starts playing.
That's so funny.
That's pretty green.
That's pretty grizzling.
They had paratroopers, navy paratroopers diving into the stadium, okay?
With America the beautiful playing on an electric guitar.
I was rock hard with my hand over my chest, and I was so proud to be an American.
That is the most grisly thing.
There is no powerful to me.
Hand over the chest, hat over your erection.
Yes.
Hat hanging on the erection.
Yes.
I love that.
That's what you removed the head coverings for, brother.
I started the USA chant in my section.
Hassan, what's the grisliest thing you do?
You're not really a grizzly.
He's all grizzly.
It's because...
Like, look at, he doesn't, he doesn't wash his face.
I wash my face.
It's just like I use body wash because why would you need to use something different?
Yeah, you fart in your car a lot.
I have no, I have no.
I hate this lie that you.
He farts in his car.
No, he is a lie that he's perpetrated.
If he's perpetuated this lie, because like it's the perfect lie you can tell about someone online because no one can check you.
Yeah.
You know what?
I actually think that's true.
I've driven his car.
It's smelling.
See, there you go.
Now he's doing it too.
There's a couple of those kind of like open secrets around like internet people and I hear that about you all the time.
Yeah.
What is the best thing to do though?
I mean you lift a lot.
That's what I do.
I guess, yeah.
Do you grunt?
What?
Do you grunt?
Sometimes.
When I was in high school and community college, I used to, I think, do a lot more like performative stuff like that.
I also used to lift a lot throughout all of high school and then community college.
And then I think having just this look, I'm like, I'm good.
I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do now.
I don't have to, even though I don't mind.
So what just happened?
You just drank some hot sauce?
It's on your lip.
It's on your lips.
What are you doing?
It's really good.
Will Nef's hot sauce.
You know what the most grizzled thing I do is?
I'll tell you right now.
I don't get stitches.
I super glue my cuts.
Oh my God.
Go to the hospital.
I've done this many times and I have like pretty gnarly scars all over.
And the first time I did it around Caroline, she like really freaked out.
Understandably.
I had to open a bag of carrots and I stabbed my thumb.
It isn't pretty funny.
Like going from grizzly mode to like, yeah, I was opening a bag of baby carrots.
I was opening up a bag of baby carrots.
And you cut yourself.
I cut myself real bad.
Why do you refuse to go to the hospital?
Because you don't need stitches.
You just super glue your cuts.
Okay.
And did it work?
Yeah, it worked great.
Well, I guess he's here.
That's true.
I'd be really crazy to bleed out.
No, but I just took an Uber to the CBS, grabbed a tube of super glue.
So you took an Uber somewhere and it wasn't the hospital.
You could go to urgent care for me.
And you have healthcare?
Yeah.
So, I mean, I understand.
I guess also.
But then again, I'm not a good person for this because I found out throughout, I mean, a couple years back, I found out that I had like a broken piece of bone in my kneecap swirling around.
Yeah, you super glue that?
That was like the size of a ping pong ball, like a little bit smaller.
Did you feel pain from it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the time.
I used to just like squat with it and it would sometimes get stuck in between my knee.
So I had arthritis.
No, I don't think so.
But sometimes, I mean, when it's human, my joints hurt a little bit.
But anyway, I went to the doctor.
I didn't have a lot of money.
And the doctor was like, yeah, we got to get that shit out.
Like a labaroscopic surgery.
Like, it's, you know, it's an immediate need.
So I just kept lifting with that for like a couple of years because I didn't want to do the recovery.
Oh, I work out too.
That's mannish.
In junior high, I was doing hurdles because I was in track for a bit and which also it sounds like I run a lot.
It's very recent of doing distance stuff at all.
And I was in track and I was, they put me in the like category where all the like slower kids went.
It was like running the 800 meter.
But I was trying out the hurdles and I felt something tear my knee.
And then I just didn't go to the doctor until it felt better.
But for like two years, if I sat like at the movie theater or like in a car for a long time, it would start to hurt really bad.
And then it just kind of went away.
It's not grisly.
That's so.
It's very seventh grade.
A hospital need and just being a dickhead about it.
That's grizzly.
Oh, yeah.
Not listening to medical professionals is the manliest thing you can do.
It's also grizzly to be a medical professional and not listen to women.
Yeah.
Very common practice.
I agree with that.
Sounds like you guys are on the wrong side of the table.
Beautiful and natural.
So I have a problem.
Anytime I feel anything remotely off about my body, I go to urgent care.
I'm so much, so much so that the urgent, I have to go to different urgent cares because I'm embarrassed that I've been there so much.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Like I'm a regular at the urgent care.
The doctors now see me and they say, you don't need that.
Which is insane to me.
Probably already have you logged.
It's like, because it's not just you doing that.
Like there's a lot of hypochondriac accident though.
Yeah.
It's funny.
It's funny because like people are think so.
Like I really get off.
I'm going to need you to check my scroll.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
I just go in for blood work.
You never know what could change.
People, people, right?
You never know.
In what time span?
Like, I've gotten my blood work, I think, done.
I counted this year.
I've gotten it pulled eight times.
That's insane, Austin.
Well, I could, I memorize my CBC.
Wait, that's close to once a month.
Yeah.
No, I've got my blood work done a shit ton.
And plus I got, and plus I get, and plus I get Fetish.
I don't enjoy getting you like needles.
No, no, no, like getting needled.
I don't, I do not enjoy it.
It does hurt.
It does hurt.
And I don't think it's so fucking good.
I don't enjoy the pain, but see this vein right here?
That's the vein they pull from typically.
Yeah, you have a track mark.
No, wait, it does look like a track mark.
You literally have a track mark.
Is that what a track mark is?
Yes.
Wait, but heroin addicts.
I've always had one done recently.
Like heroin addicts.
That is what a track mark is.
Wait, so we all get track marks when we get our blood taken, right?
Heroin addicts get needles.
Do you think everybody else gets their blood taken?
I mean, once every blue moon, like once a year at least, minimum?
Probably once a year, but I don't know.
That also might not be a track mark.
That could just be like a no, I got my blood taken.
No, it's permanent.
That's the exact spot.
I got my blood taken three days ago.
Why do you know that could be a good one?
Why do you have two?
Why do you have two track marks?
I think this is because somebody decided to pull blood over here.
Somebody decided.
Was it a doctor?
It was a doctor.
Yes.
It was a doctor.
No, it was.
I'm going to medical professionals to get my blood taken.
Okay.
I get my blood taken.
When you have to say that, you might have a problem.
People say in America falsely that like we can't get socialized medicine because then people will abuse the system.
You literally are the first person I've ever met that would abuse that system.
Well, no, but this is my thing.
The system is so fucked up that I want care and it's difficult sometimes to get them to give it to you.
I go in.
Okay, it's difficult for you because like you go too much.
I know, but they, I have been on the notes, I read the notes of my last doctor that I saw.
They allow you to read the notes.
Well, no, like then they give you notes at the end of the appointment.
And I read them.
They wrote, please stop saying here.
This doctor said, seek therapy at the bottom on the notes.
Seek therapy.
And did you do it?
No.
That's the most grisly thing you've done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're a hypochondriac.
I'm a hypochondriac.
Because I develop these things in my head that I have and then I go get tested.
That's not grisly.
That's not.
See?
No.
My uncle.
And not going to therapy when somebody's urging you to go to therapy is the most manly thing that you can do.
Perceiving Age And Avoiding Therapy00:07:24
True.
I don't need therapy.
My uncle is so grizzled.
Yeah.
He was chopping wood and he cut part of his pinky off.
Oh my God.
And he just like wrapped it up and got gangrene.
Oh.
And he had to remove the whole finger?
Like this.
Oh.
That's grisly.
That's getting gangrene.
Getting gangrene.
Getting gangrene.
Getting gangrene like you're a 16th century peasant is the grisliest thing you can do.
That's grisly.
Like modern medicine is there specifically for that.
It's like the one avenue that we've like done a good job.
I think there is still a group of women that like grizzly men.
Yes.
Yeah, everyone's got their own flavors.
Yeah.
There's every hometown has many of those women.
They're still there.
Alana Del Rey is of the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
True.
That's a good assessment.
That's population of women is diminishing.
Yes.
Yes.
I think the needle is moving towards Timothy Charlemagne.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think that the needle's always been there, just they're being listened to more.
No.
70s, the vogue was like barrel-chested, furry.
But that's also like what was chosen to be put in that advertisement.
Yeah.
So you think like a feminine men have always been the men.
Well, whatever people's tastes are.
So like I like, I feel like even for me, like I have a very specific look that will work really well for some people and not at all for others.
Okay.
And I feel like it's always kind of been that.
I think it is.
There's tons of people that aren't into hairy guys.
It's true.
Yeah.
We literally went to Japan.
He knows it.
We went to Japan.
Hairy guys.
There you go.
We went to Japan and like, I think you're beautiful.
Thank you.
I can still be beautiful in your life.
No, you're gorgeous.
Like, I love your mustache.
What's going on?
He wants to take it for a ride.
But I don't.
But not my thing.
This is supposed to be a man episode.
They keep fucking cutting me off like I'm cutie Cinderella.
Grizzly.
Sorry, go ahead.
God damn it.
That's not at a point.
No, the point was that we went to Japan and found out that they do not like hairy guys at all.
That was a wonderful moment for you where famous former adult stars.
I like hair on men in specific places.
Under the arms, perfectly fine.
Love it.
In fact, I prefer it.
Right?
Yeah.
You have an armpit fetish.
I don't have an armpit fetish.
What's up with gay guys and armpit fetish?
I think, I don't know what it is, but like underarms on men is just, it makes me go so feral.
I don't know why.
That's I used to, I used to think, I used to think armpits hair was disgusting.
I used to be repulsed by it.
But for some reason, as I've gotten older, it becomes like vaccines?
Maybe.
Well, also when you were younger, it was like an older dude.
But now then you're matching ages.
No, but like.
Oh, no, don't say that.
How old do you think Austin is, Eddie?
Don't you dare.
No, Eddie, you know what?
Let's skip this part.
No, no, no.
No, Eddie, my days have been going really well.
And I don't think I need this.
Eddie, how old do you think Austin is?
No, I don't.
I don't just.
No, I don't need it.
19 years old.
Thank you so much.
You're so close.
Eddie, I'm 26.
So close.
Eddie, I'm 26.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's very nice of you to say that.
Thank you, Eddie.
22 plus 10.
No, I'm not 32.
He's 32.
I am 32.
Yeah.
Because I'm not embarrassed by my age.
Well, look, some of us are.
You know what?
You know what?
Will is totally correct about this.
He told me this, his wisdom.
Actually, Hassan and Will both told me this.
That like, I need to stop giving a shit about that.
Yeah.
And I, you know, I've stopped giving a shit about it.
Okay.
Tell us your birthday right now.
No, I don't advertise my birthday.
I don't advertise my birthday.
Oh, how old are you?
I'm 28 years old.
It's just not.
He's laughing because he's insecure about his age.
No, I'm not.
I just told you.
That's how old I am.
No, but...
But what were we talking about before age?
Yeah, let's move with an age thing.
Do you remember?
I remembered like maybe a day and a half later, and I didn't even drink that much at Will's birthday.
What I did the age thing to you.
I forgot for like a day and a half.
You and Connor were having a conversation like off to the left, and I just heard like a little bit him ask you your age.
And all I did was lean in and go, damn, after you said, and went right back to my conversation.
A day later, I was like, oh, that was kind of me.
I hope he knows how to showcase.
No, I was fucked up.
I'm also 26 and I look like I'm 45.
No, but it's a perception.
I think as we get older.
Yeah.
If I shaved, I'd look younger, but I'd also look worse.
So no, you don't.
I've got an age theory.
We perceive everybody else's age around us based on our own personal perception of ourselves.
So you, you guys, if you are.
What?
You think this is ridiculous?
I'm about to blow your mind.
Okay.
No, no, no.
I'm just mad that, like my fucking government sponsored communist California nest thermostat automatically goes into eco mode, even though I fucking take it off eco mode all the time deliberately, because they want us to fucking die in the heat.
Okay, sick and tired of this commie bullshit.
Fuck, all right, go ahead.
So if you are, if you are of an older age, you will perceive folks your own age probably older because your perception of yourself is that you are younger.
We don't, we don't perceive ourselves to be as old as we are.
Yeah yeah, so typically people in your age range.
So, you being 26, you will look at another 26 year old, perhaps that looks 26 and think that they're probably 28, because you yourself don't perceive yourself to be 26.
That's interesting because I really, I think I perceive the people my age as my age.
No, I don't think that that's true.
That might be a you thing if you're disagree with I've never met someone that was like my age where I perceive them to be older.
I disagree with all your lived experiences.
Everybody around you that's your age is older than you is what you're saying in your life.
Now this is starting to make sense.
It's just how people, how people judge, how people judge other, you know what?
Forget it.
I love when you explain stuff.
I get what he's saying.
I get what he's saying because a lot of the guys from my like college class look like dog shit.
Yeah.
They look like shit.
Oh, what they're, oh, I don't even, you're, I guess you're right about that.
I wasn't even thinking about that, though.
I was thinking about people I play basketball with that like somehow sometimes are my age.
I'm just saying when people guess my age, well, if people ask how old I look, maybe they're when they're, when they tend to be younger than I am, they drag me closer to their age.
And if they're older, I get dragged up typically.
That's just my personal lived experience, but whatever.
Maybe.
No, that makes sense.
I think you meant just all the time you're thinking of people.
I'll drop into it.
Look, I have no problem with my age.
I'm very proud of it.
Yeah, so what's your birthday?
November 24th, 1998.
That would make you two years and four days younger than me.
No, no.
Sorry, I messed up.
94.
94.
It's so funny because you're still lying about your age.
No, I'm not.
But, well, I know what your birthday is, Austin.
But it's funny because this is now on the record.
So what?
Next year or two years down the line, you're still going to be an age that you don't want to be at.
No, I'm fine with my age.
Balancing Manly Shit And Sauna Moments00:14:35
Oh, okay.
Fine with it.
Which is 24.
No, I'm not 24.
28.
28.
I would never want to be 88.
Just misspoke.
If I showed you a picture of me 24, you'd be like, it's better now.
Let's move on to something else.
Move on to something else.
You do have much better style now.
Yeah, and much better style, much more muscle.
You look good.
Everything's better.
No, I look great with how I look.
You look great.
I'm confident.
I love that.
I post in thirst traps.
People get sexy.
Where did you post that photo from?
On Instagram?
How'd you get that photo today?
Did you people just send you shirtless pictures of me?
Wait, you weren't talking about the photo that I released today?
What are you talking about?
Sorry, released?
Just on Instagram.
Yeah, I posted a story today.
It was a story and you said released?
Where did that go?
It's like a press break.
I saw your story and I said, where are you?
You responded to it?
Yeah.
I couldn't see.
I didn't see that message.
Grief at you.
You're on another level.
I just didn't see that.
You're just like, you post, no, because he posts like the shirtless photo and his eyes automatically filter anyone that he's like, anyone that's not a fucking twink, like a nubile twink.
You know what a twink is?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you been to gay bars?
I have not, but also I've been meaning to with Chrissy and some friends as well.
You should.
You need to field test that must be.
Well, the thing is, also, I, so what's the reason I've been apprehensive to it is I know my look would do well, and I also don't want to be hope.
That's, that's the thing.
Yeah, they're going to be like, oh my God, you're so hot.
You stud.
Yeah, like, I wear my ring right here, and I've been tapped before asking if I was married, you know, the whole thing.
And I don't, it feels extra straight to be like, oh no, my girlfriend.
You know what I mean?
Like, you don't need to tell people that.
Just, I mean, don't like queerbait, but just live and exist.
It's okay.
Yeah, but also she'd be like right now.
It feels the first time you go to a gay bar, if I'll take it.
Awesome.
I'll let you know.
I'll have you know.
You go there, you're like, oh my God, I'm the bell of the fucking ball, baby.
What the fuck?
You're going specifically to that used to be my strap.
Yeah.
When you, when you'd hit gains in West Hollywood, you know what I mean?
After a while, though, it just.
Yeah, then you learn to hate gay people.
It gets a little harassing.
And then you're like, no.
You never have to look for a spot in a gay gym.
Right?
And in a straight gym, you ask a guy for a spot.
He's like, I'm not going to gym, so this also is no problem.
He just walks.
I watched it.
But in gay bar gyms, what happens?
Gay bar gyms.
Gay bar gyms.
Gay gyms, they're ready.
Oh, yeah.
They're ready.
Gay gyms are way gayer than the bars, to be fair.
Gay gyms?
Wait, is there like a dedicated gay gym in West Hollywood?
They're Equinox West Hollywood.
Well, the one he used to go to was the gayest one.
But Equinox West Hollywood is also very gay.
It was awesome.
They literally have a sign in the sauna that says, do not fuck in the sauna.
Like an official placard.
Dude.
Like, not even like they printed it out.
Like an actual metal placard that has rules explicitly stating you can't fuck in the sauna.
Go ahead.
Do you want to do that?
Yes.
I really, I had a dream.
You're who the sign is for.
I had a dream.
I really want to have sex in a sauna, just sweaty, but like shower before because it's kind of gross if you're like sweating all throughout the day.
But like just exclusively sweating in that moment from shower to sauna.
Yes.
Have really great sex in a sauna.
Is that a gay thing or is that just like a noise?
That's just really cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like breathing in that.
I just feel like it would be cool for like a moment and then there's like a sauna I'm not trying to do like activities in, you know?
That's where I'm like laid out.
You think?
You're a little neurotic, aren't you?
I think normally my brain jumps to what I won't enjoy.
But also I think that has helped me make jokes better.
So sometimes that helps me.
Okay.
Bit of a Larry David brain stuff.
I like that.
I like what you said.
I vibe with that.
Overrated having sex in a hot tub or a pool.
No, I agree with sex in a body of water is not great.
Yeah, it's not good.
Pool I disagree with fully.
Really?
Fully.
Tell us why.
I fucked in a pool and it was fantastic.
But you can't feel as much underwater.
It's not about the feeling.
It's about the event.
Like we're fucking in the pool.
I've done it.
For people that can't see it on the table, when Austin said can't feel as much.
He went like this where his dick was.
Did I really?
I just saw you go, you can't feel as much.
That was involuntary.
It was peripheral.
It was so noticeable.
It's the boys' episode, baby.
I just don't.
You just can't feel as much.
The boys' episode.
Sex in the pool is kind of magical.
You would know.
Sex in the pool is kind of magical.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like late night, only lights of the pool.
Yeah.
Everything's underlit.
Everybody looks great when they're under.
How about fucking on the side of the pool?
No.
So awful.
Done that too.
I grew up with an above-ground pool.
So that it's just not the side of an above pool.
That's why trash bingo, right?
Oh my God.
An above-ground pool.
Wait, where did you grow up?
Suburbs of Chicago.
Okay.
You could break an above-ground pool if you fuck in it, right?
And then you're just both flowing.
It wasn't like one of the blow-up ones, but it was still, you know, it was still.
Still not fancy.
Actually, the fact that it's not a blow-up one makes it less fancy.
There is no cooler feeling than having an above-ground pool.
Yeah.
Than Aquamanning.
Okay.
Eating pussy underwater.
Come on.
Chlorine.
Wait, hold on.
Neurotic.
Neurotic.
I have eaten pussy on the side of a pool where I like have picked her up and then eaten her pussy on the fucking side.
That's how you do it.
I don't.
I don't like.
Shut up, David.
I don't like the in under the water situation.
That's the coolest.
Because in your mind, you're like, oh, dude, I'm going to show her how long I can hold my breath for.
Because that's like primal.
That's like 12-year-old boys.
Exactly.
That goes way back.
And then you're also using the bubbles to percolate and stimulate.
God damn.
You've really thought through this.
I've eaten a lot of pussy underwater.
But I feel like it would feel like I'm in waterfall.
What fucking situations are you in?
Pretty much anytime I'm in water, man.
Is there a pool?
Wait, where are these pools?
I'm talking about 34 years of life experience.
What is it?
Like, you're like Houdini.
You have to make her come before you.
Public body is a little bit more.
Without taking your breath?
Yeah.
Without taking a breath.
That's hype, dude.
That's awesome.
When she's a little alarmed, you might fucking die.
That's her red hot, dude.
That could backfire that.
Stress levels?
High.
I was going to say, that could backfire.
Yeah, you could die.
You could die.
That could backfire in the sense that you died.
That's how a hype way to go.
Yeah.
Eating pussy underwater.
Michael Douglas.
That's crazy.
What a crazy ass.
How are you even sat at that funeral?
You're not.
You're hype.
Everybody's shoulder is exhausted.
Yeah, absolutely.
I will die.
Dude, how do you think?
Fucking.
I did not think that the cutie list boys only episode was going to get there.
I'm surprised that I'm the inspiration for this.
I'll be honest, gentlemen.
After that, I kind of want to eat some pussy.
Yeah.
Come on.
Things are changing.
What's some rowdy ass shit you do?
Come on, let's get into it.
I'm not a person that would decocade and fight someone.
No, I've never done cocaine.
Yeah.
You ever just go to a gay beat up club?
Yeah.
A game of beat-up club.
That's awesome.
That's a real thing.
He's not even joking.
Wait, what?
Just beat the shit out of each other and they fuck, man.
That's awesome.
If I was gay, that'd be day one for me.
There's no fight club.
There's no twinks.
It's fight club, but the loser is the bottom.
There's no twinks in that club.
There's no twinks.
No.
But it's not.
What he's talking about is not like upscale shit.
It's like if you're living in like Duluth.
I didn't think that was going to be upscale shit.
Yeah, no, it's like, it's like trucker.
It's like trucker bar style shit.
Like you're living in fucking Duluth and that's like the only gay bomb.
So is it like, is it known?
Like what if you walked in there and you're just trying to get a drink and you could just get your ass.
Well, not everyone fights, man.
Not everybody fights.
Well, does everybody fight?
Like an organized.
It's like a wrestling fantasy of like two men like, we're going to pit against each other and then we're going to get in each other.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
Boys, boys.
Do you guys want to go to a gay fuck fight club?
Only if you fight and fuck.
I'm going to fight and fuck.
I'm going to fight and fuck.
I would be.
Dude, if you go to a gay fucking fight club, I'll be there with pom-poms.
Would you be good at being Elon?
Okay, to be fair.
You might get made a bottle.
No, the problem is.
He would want to fight like the tiniest twink.
He would kill him.
100 pounds, dude.
You're like, you.
Yeah, no, I think I would.
Yeah.
He comes out.
He's like, oh, no, not Martinez.
And he's just so fucking good.
He just knows kung fu.
He beats the shit out of Austin.
He's like, you're the one bottoming now, bitch.
Oh, the damn cow.
Oh, man.
Dude, I'm learning so much this.
And that's how Austin bought him for the first time.
I'm not bottoming.
What's some manly shit you want to do, Eddie?
You asked me that.
I know that you didn't give me an answer.
You said you go for walks, motherfucker.
Help me.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
Come on.
You want to kill something?
Yeah.
I would like to.
I always want a cabin and I want to be able to chop wood and make a fire.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very mad.
I have a fake one, unfortunately.
Shit, man.
Multiple katanas.
It sounds like good exercise, too, like in a fun way.
It sounds like a nice peaceful thing.
I've done it when I was younger when I went camping a lot, but I'm getting you an axe.
That'd be great.
Do you know I have an axe in my apartment?
No, I didn't know that.
I have an axe in my apartment, too, but it's not like a legitimate one.
He has a lot of people.
I have so many crazy, weird weapons in this place.
So crazy because I feel like you will defend yourself.
You'll kill them in the most sadistic way possible.
Absolutely.
Like you will strip them and skin them alive.
Yes.
For Christmas, like two years ago, Chrissy got me not like a replica God of War axe like that, but one that somebody made on Etsy where it's like a regular axe that's designed like that.
Oh, that's sick.
My thought was, now it's my self-defense thing because if anybody saw a guy in the dark with an axe, especially you, you look kind of like the, I do something crazy with it.
But it's, I feel like the, the thought of somebody wielding an axe against you is way scarier than even a gun because you're like, this is just going to fuck me up in a really weird way.
You chopped anything with that axe.
No, I live in an apartment.
So what?
You haven't chopped up.
When I got a katana, first thing I did was chop a fucking banana tree.
First thing I did.
I can't, especially like, I don't know, my area.
There's just like not, there's not a spot for me where there's not a bunch of people.
Just like throw a fruit and then like try to chop it.
Actually, it's very dangerous.
You gotta watch your feet.
I just start chopping something.
You don't be a great self-defense guy.
No.
Actually, I feel like that's the quickest way to get arrested.
He's like, there's an axe murder on the los at the park.
I'd be on one of the neighborhood apps immediately.
Yeah.
Man wielding a scary man with big mustache.
I have like a 25-pound mace.
Sometimes I walk to the dog park with it.
Oh, just to hold it.
And nobody gives you a look or no, because I have a very dog is really like it balances it out.
Okay.
It looks like you're trying to protect the dog.
The mace, the mace is the size of the dog.
Yeah.
At that point, yeah.
I was going to say self-defense weapon would be like a chainsaw.
Oh, like, could you imagine breaking?
I've always wanted to own a chainsaw.
They break too much, and it's hard to start it.
No.
I've never felt so alive.
It sounds good.
It sounds fun just to like, you know, break shit.
I don't.
That's, see, that's a very manly thing.
It's just, I love cutting stuff and breaking stuff.
Yeah.
It's very fun.
I feel like we're reclaiming our testosterone right now, boys.
Finally, now that QT is gone, Jesus Christ.
This is what people are looking for.
It's really funny because from after the Tana episode, like all of the girlies that are coming back are going to be like, this is the most disgusting thing.
We have become the meme that I always make fun of.
Like the straight guys doing a podcast.
Is Pussy in the Pool overrated?
Yeah, I mean, I, would you, okay, let's balance it out.
Would you suck dick in a pool?
Would I?
Just like, what's hilarious?
That's not my preference.
Like, is there a gun to my head?
What's happening?
Maybe this wasn't.
Am I cheating on my girlfriend?
Maybe this wasn't the manly podcast, which I thought, what's more manly than sucking a dick in a pool?
I mean, if you're gay, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Sorry, gentlemen.
No, it works.
Like, if you, if you talked about it, too, but you, you posed the question to us.
I was just trying to balance it.
You said it like a threat.
Yeah.
It was.
But it was like, okay, fine.
Gun to your head.
Would you do it?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to die if I don't.
Yeah.
I would like to not die.
I'd suck the shit out of that.
But I wouldn't do a good job.
Okay, but gun to my head, I'm doing a bad job.
Because you're so upset that there's a gun to your head.
I take pride in it.
Look, you wouldn't have to do that.
Do you sloppy toppy?
Well, it's quicker than that.
This really is that dom that you're talking about.
I'm sucking dick for an hour.
It's fine.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to rake it with my teeth.
I'm going to be like, oh, you're going to be on that dick for an hour.
Doesn't matter.
I'm going to be out in five minutes because I'm just going to be.
No, you do really good.
I think I'm in the war of attrition.
And that's the most like just four dudes hanging out.
Like, what would force you to suck a dick?
Is like the oldest fucking sleepover conversation ever.
I told you, I've told this, I've said this before, but my first journey, my part of my journey of coming out was I would, you know, everybody be like, oh, would you suck a dick for X amount of dollars?
My first, like, testing the waters is I reduced the price at which I would do it.
Reduce the price between somebody asking you or no while you were.
No, just like slow, no, no, like over time, they would ask me, like, oh, would you suck a dick for what?
And first, I'm like, oh, yeah, $10,000.
And then it like slowly got down to like $100.
Above 50.
Yeah, like 50.
I was like, and then it got down to like, you know, I'd try it.
A please.
A please would give you a bad thing.
You know what I mean?
I probably wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd try.
I wouldn't charge him.
You know what I mean?
So slowly but surely I got certificate to Starbucks.
Yeah, so that was my first like sort of getting my toes in.
Now he's trying to bring it back up and it's like not working.
Yeah, no.
I don't know a couple weeks back when we try to try to get more selfish a little bit.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because I've noticed that like, oh, you know what?
I shouldn't say this.
Say it.
All right, fuck it.
I just don't think that like, look, I will.
You're going to say bottoms don't paywall thing.
This is a paywall.
All right.
Well, we'll be hired paywall.
Actually, what a perfect time for you to say that because we are at an hour.
Oh, wow.
Perfect.
Trying It Before The Paywall00:01:22
Right.
Great.
Everybody, our guest has been Eddie Burback.
Before we go to the paywall, please check out his content.
He's one of my favorite YouTubers and he makes incredible stuff.
Thanks for joining us today.
I think you're having me.
That was a really fast hour.
I actually didn't.
I was surprised when you said that was what happens when you talk about manly shit.
Hell yeah.
Eddie's the funniest person to have like the manly episode.
We're going to behind the paywall, we're going to go drink beer and eat pussy.
That's right.
Yeah.
Eddie's going to split his first piece of wood.
Yeah.
Underwater, baby.
Let's go.
See you there.
Patreon.com slash fear and brother.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so funny.
Look at his little boots.
These fucking idiots.
Okay, the paywall portion's better than the regular portion.
The fucking idiots.
The fucking idiots thought that, like, oh, it was fine in the Netherlands.
It's fine in Canada.
And then they came to Philadelphia and they beat the fuck out of him quarters.