Hasan and Brooke, joined by Tana Mongeau, dissect mental health struggles, adoption stories, and dating app habits while critiquing the "Girls & The Gays" demographic. They analyze internet drama involving Logan Paul and Dylan Danis, condemn misogynistic influencers, and debate cookie preferences alongside a scathing review of Dunkin's high-sugar Ice Spice latte. Ultimately, the episode exposes the chaotic intersection of celebrity culture, personal trauma, and consumer criticism within modern digital media. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Depression Makes Content Better00:04:07
So I would like your podcast.
Maybe.
It used to be good, but then we both got depression.
I think depression makes it better sometimes.
I'm not going to lie.
We've been on and we've just been like, so I hate everything.
I'm not kidding you.
Brooke and I are kind of in the same boat.
You know what I mean?
But sometimes those spikes of mental illness create amazing content.
Absolutely.
Use it.
No, I'm kidding.
We need to.
Yeah, it's a blonde.
It's a blonde and brunette, too.
It's like the same thing.
I love that.
We should do a little crossover or something.
We should.
It'd be so funny.
I'm so fucking.
Did you just ask me to use my connections to bring Tana on just so you could fucking do a collab with the podcast that you like more?
I'm such a podcast hoe.
I'm on every podcast.
This is insane.
You are.
You are worse to me than your boyfriend.
Okay.
My boyfriend is not.
My work boyfriend is good to you.
No, he's not.
This morning we were supposed to play basketball.
Okay.
And then some jealousy here.
Yes.
Yes.
I am very jealous that Cutie has a podcast that she likes more.
Okay.
Or other podcasts, which is lame because there's two women.
It's like you only, everybody knows you need one.
No, zero.
Get back in the kitchen.
But there's a lot of, I agree.
Oh my God.
Thank you.
Finally, someone's saying it.
Women shouldn't have microphones.
It's like, oh, you know, turkey or ham on the sandwich.
Like, that's, that's what we're at.
This is like, this is like 98% of podcasts.
So you're saying.
Absolutely.
Tana's here, everybody.
Before we get started, I need to clarify something.
How do you say your last name?
Mojo.
Tana Mojo is here, everybody.
I have been butchering your name for like the last three weeks.
I swear to God, I think my parents just like smashed their face on a keyboard and then that's like what created.
Tana Mojo.
I don't, yeah, I don't.
That's a cool name.
It's like a villain, like a PowerPoint.
What's the origin of it?
I love that.
Like Mojo Jojo.
Yeah.
It's French.
It's French.
Well, obviously.
When I go to France, I'm like, Mojo, and everyone gets it.
And then I come here and everyone's like, Tana Montague is on my podcast.
I don't.
It does seem like there should be a T in there for some reason.
You know, I completely get it.
Like Romeo and Juliet, like the capulets.
What is it?
Monte.
I don't know.
Montague.
I'm making this up.
Literally.
Do you speak French?
Not at all.
Okay.
You're originally from Vegas?
I am originally from Vegas.
I did my research.
Paris of America.
Yeah.
It's very...
Vegas is like probably the opposite of Paris.
It makes a lot of sense.
You know, my demeanor and actions are very Vegas.
You are very Vegas coded.
I am Vegas.
From the jump.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, but I'm, I don't know.
I like it now.
I have a newfound love for it.
Maybe I shouldn't ask this.
How old are you?
25.
Maybe I shouldn't ask.
You can ask that.
I don't know.
People get weird.
People do get fucking weird, but my age has been out there.
My stepbrother grew up in like Vegas, Vegas?
Yeah.
Henderson.
Henderson, Vegas.
Yeah.
You went to Green, Green Valley.
I went to Green Valley.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I dropped out of there.
So did he?
Oh, my God.
That's so funny.
I feel like that's part of the course for Vegas, though.
Oh, yeah.
In the school districts, it's the 50th in the world.
It's absolutely the worst school district.
Wow.
And in the U.S., not the world, but that's what I was asking.
Wait, it's worse than like Mississippi.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, how is that even physically possible?
That's really bad.
If you have a kid in Vegas, you just don't really give a fuck about it.
It's like an accident.
Yeah, it's like, you know what I mean?
Like, I remember being 10.
Like, why was I born?
Why are you raising me here?
Okay, that makes sense.
What do your parents do?
Well, I have, I was like adopted when I was like 12 or 13.
So my like birth parents are just, I don't even know what they do.
I don't even know how to classify them.
You never like track them down?
No, I mean, when I was like 12 or 13, I lived with them for like, you know, 12 or 13 years.
Am I allowed to ask these questions?
Okay.
I'm going to read the book.
I talk about it all the time.
So my best friend's family kind of took me in and yeah, they had nothing to write home about what they do, just a very normal job.
What do they do?
Like work in a casino?
No, I guess that's what everyone thinks about Vegas.
Like one of them does stuff with Apple.
Like she does like all the tech type of shit.
And then dad just, he's had a million jobs.
I don't know.
Just a bunch of random shit.
Okay.
But they deal with me and they love me.
So that's enough.
Do you like the Vegas strip?
Dad's Million Random Jobs00:14:54
I love it.
No.
It took me a while.
I feel like I moved.
I moved out here when I was like 15 or 16, pretty much like 10 years ago.
Cause I was like, another great place to be as a teenager.
Right.
Again, it just is.
It explains so much, you know, but it's like Vegas or LA.
Less, you know, two evils, had to kind of pick one.
And yeah, eventually I grew a love for it as I got away from it.
And I can see why, you know, I don't see Vegas as the rest of the world.
How'd you start on YouTube?
Well, like, what, what drew you to YouTube?
I feel, have you ever seen that?
We jumped in with questions so hot.
I'm getting ready.
I'm getting ready.
You're like, normally we never actually interview the guest that we have on because it's like usually a person that we know very well.
So they just like kind of sit here.
They don't care about.
Well, thank you for caring.
So they kind of sit here and we just like chirp at each other and they just like kind of sit there and then they talk about how like shitty of an experience they have.
Andrea Botez and set the fucking bar low for the podcast guest.
So I know people leave.
We were all researching.
Like I was studying.
I flew in this morning.
You are such a liar.
No, I'm literally.
It is in his nature.
He's deceptive.
He's gay.
I don't know.
I love a good liar.
I love a gay liar more than anything.
I'm here for it.
You're a huge, you're like a gay icon.
I love the girls and the gays.
Because like I have everybody in my, like all my gay friends, they've been chirping.
I've been talking about like Tana's coming on the podcast and they're freaking out.
It's yeah, the straights want me dead.
And then the girls and the gays.
Hey, yeah, I'm sorry.
The girls and the gays are, that's where it's at.
That's kind of my demographic.
I'm so excited.
Why do you, why?
I don't know because I talk about things I think that interest the girls and the gays, things of no substance.
Drama.
Yeah, drama.
Yeah.
Straight man hatred, which I don't want to say in your house.
You know, I'm just right.
Yeah, we say it all the time.
Some are okay.
I don't know you.
Shit on straight man.
No, no, we're straight man or bad.
We're bad.
He's the worst.
He's a closet Taylor Swift fan.
Wait, what?
No, I'm not.
I'm staying a solid air with John Mayer.
He's the biggest Closet Taylor Swift fan.
He checks onto me to like gossip about Taylor Swift.
But he just loves her.
I just, I am a defender of John Mayer.
It was never done anymore.
I don't have will to defend you today.
This is I know.
That's why I feel tense.
I feel tense right now.
Three girls.
Yeah.
We like to have a diversity of opinion here and diversity of background.
That's why we have a token gay and a token woman.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
It is true.
But this is not, I should not be the center of attention here.
You are our guest.
Let's get back to it.
I'm interested in learning, though.
I can't lie.
I never go on podcasts without knowing anything that happens on them.
And this is like...
We're both flying blind.
Yeah.
Like, I'm straight.
I just jumped into the water and I'm going to finger swim.
I literally asked you to come on by way of Jeff because Cutie was like, oh, I want to have Tana on.
Yeah.
Not fucking realizing that it was just so that she could do a ploy to have on her favorite podcast, the other one.
It wasn't a ploy.
I thought a lot of people compare our podcast because we are, well, we used to talk shit before we got depressed.
We would just like, we would, my podcast name is Whine About It.
And so we drink wine and talk shit.
I love that.
I will come whine about everything.
We're not relevant enough for you.
That's not how I, that's not how I write.
That's not my vibes.
She's like, I'm on here.
I'm a podcast whore.
Like if I love to go on everyone's podcast and like if I vibe, I catch a vibe.
And I love to complain.
Like I love to complain.
I love complaining.
Complaining is so fucking therapeutic.
I like complaining more than sex most days, you know?
It's freeing.
It's freeing.
It feels good.
People look at it so negatively, but I think it's.
Do you ever complain about sex?
Of course.
Is that like your number one thing?
Like, I'm actually best of both worlds.
Lately, my thing has been like, if I have bad sex with someone, just being so real with them about it.
Like, getting constructive.
Like, you know what I mean?
Damn.
You got dick notes.
Yeah.
You're just like.
Exactly.
It's like, you know, because I feel like girls just lie about it.
They suppress it.
They're like, it was so good.
Give us the.
No, I appreciate that.
I love that.
Give us what happens most frequently that you think is bad that dudes are doing.
I think it's more so.
It's just like I, if you're going to like connect with someone and have sex with them and you feel like they don't maybe care about you enjoying it at all.
Yeah.
Like, you know, like if it was just five minutes of them like grunting and then they're, they think that's like normal.
It's like, you can't go your whole life.
What are big do's for you?
Like definite do's and then don'ts?
I don't know.
I don't think there's like definite do's or don'ts.
I just hope there's like you just know when it's wrong.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can just feel when you're not connecting with someone, you know, and it's like, oh my God, that was.
It's like weird seeing you be a girl.
Girl talk.
It's weird seeing you be a girl.
Is she one of the guys over here?
No, it's no, she's not.
She's in it.
I do that though.
Like I go on Jeff's podcast and I'm like, no, no.
Fuck yeah, let's talk about it, Hasania and fucking, you know, and then I'm like, what am I saying?
She's not one of the guys at all.
She's like a totally unique.
No, I want to be one of the guys.
She's a totally unique separate thing.
It's called autism.
Yeah, mental illness in general.
He was just saying it with such a cute smile on his face, though.
Maybe he's lovely, like low-key.
I love cutie.
Everyone laughed.
Like, so it's like, it's not off the bottom.
I am.
No, I am like, I am the annoying little sister that comes in and like steals things and eats all his snacks and then leaves the house.
No, that's Austin.
You're describing Austin.
No, because he like complains.
I don't complain.
I take what I can get.
Yeah, I complain.
Well, like, Hassan does offer me shelter sometimes.
That's really nice.
Yeah.
And, but.
Do you think it's like a power play, though?
He's offering you shelter so that he has control over yourself.
That is so sociopathic.
Why would I do that?
No, like, I never thought about it.
I'm not a Nariota.
Or I'm just a nice person.
I know those guys are hard to come by out here, dude.
Like, I've never thought about it that way, but like, I'm starting to think that's probably it.
You know, a good person is a unicorn in this city.
I'm starting to think that's probably it.
I think he's trying to take advantage of me.
It's kind of hot to me.
Take advantage into it.
In what capacity?
I mean, he's trying to watch me for my money.
That's what I want.
That's hot.
Is that what's going on?
Yeah, totally.
He knows Hassan has been trying to get at me for a long time.
He's not my type.
Oh, my God.
That sucks.
That's right.
But we love a slow burn.
Are you nicotine gum?
I am a nicotine gumboy.
Talk to me about this.
Are you trying to quit?
No, I already did years ago, but I still chew nicotine gum non-stop.
What is it like?
I'm kind of like debating if I go down.
I'm just going to try it if you want.
But what if it, like, dude?
The things I'll put in my body and then I'm like, what's in it?
Oh, like about nicotine gum.
It's, I don't know.
I just bought nicotine patches.
The Vegas.
It's good.
It's from the earth.
What's the craziest thing you put in?
It's healthy.
Oh, that's a horrible question.
What is it like?
You said it like that.
You know, I don't even know where to begin.
I'd have to get my scroll.
It's a horrible question because it's offensive.
No, I'm nothing offensive.
Do you think when we do our wine about it crossover that you can give me a makeover?
Are you serious right now?
Are you fucking joking?
I thought that was what we were going to do today.
Yeah, but you didn't ask me.
What do you mean, makeover?
You're so hot.
Hannah, that's nice of you.
But I want to say that.
No, I'm telling you that.
I told you this.
I told you this over.
I tell her over and over.
She's sitting here like literally no makeup on, like bright blue eyes, gorgeous Caradella bean eyebrows.
The hair is hairing.
I'm just, I'm just being.
I want to look like you and Brooke, and I want to fit in.
And I'm going to go to the house.
I wish Will was here.
I want to do pretty girl shit.
You are a pretty girl, and you are able to do pretty girl shit whenever you're going to be able to do it.
The dynamic is broken right now.
I wish Will was here.
Why?
Too much girl shit, dude.
Fuck women.
Make that sandwich whore.
It's not even that.
Don't laugh at it.
What?
I was trying to, I'm trying to, I don't know.
Yeah.
I'll mess with you.
Laugh at it.
I'm just trying to be pretty girlfriend.
Yeah, I'm trying to be pretty go.
But I'm saying natural and beautiful.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Whenever you talk about periods, he says it's natural and beautiful.
Look, that's crazy.
Mine aren't.
Mine fucking aren't, dude.
Let me tell you, I don't even want to.
I like her.
This isn't the podcast where we have to talk about my period, dude.
Wait, what do you mean?
She talks about way grosser shit.
No more.
It's just a natural human experience.
Periods are natural.
Yeah, it happens.
It just happens.
I just think it's look.
I just think it's what women are experiencing these things and it's beautiful and natural.
That's awesome.
We were just talking about before you came.
We were just talking about like the last time I cried and I was just thinking about you know abortion.
And you cried.
Yeah.
Abortion rights being taken away from you knock a bitch up.
That's when I cried.
I cried about it too because your mom didn't get one.
You know my mom.
That's really fucked up.
She's like literally like a motherfucker.
She's one fucking remote.
She's fucked up.
Are you trying to be like a mean girl right now?
I'm trying to impress Tana.
Okay.
All right.
I love it.
So I'll join you anytime.
You've done many things in the YouTube space.
I don't know most of it.
I know like only the Cliff notes.
And they're all horrible.
And they're all horrible.
But you're also friends with Ethan, my co-host on Leftovers.
Oh, you guys have a podcast together?
We do.
Damn, she didn't even fucking know that guy.
I'm not kidding you.
I'm raw dogging this right now.
I'm screaming about you.
So am I.
This is awesome.
So, which is great.
But yeah, we don't even talk.
Do you know what I do normally?
Do you know like what I do as a profession?
Not at all.
You don't even know?
That's awesome.
Wait, that is kind of like you don't know any of us.
No.
That's so cool.
But I'm here.
I'm making new friends.
Hopefully, have you ever watched Twitch?
Don't even know how to get there.
Like, is it a website?
Okay.
This is like you're an extremely online person who's been online on YouTube since you were like smart for Twitch.
You don't have to be smart for Twitch.
But I've decided that my new thing is going to be dating streamers.
Okay.
That's cool.
So I recommend against that.
Really?
But good to know.
Well, I think it's just like she date.
You know, it's a different little category.
What do you look for?
And I think it's got to be a certain type of mental illness to be like, I'm going to be live 24/7.
And so it's like, I'm into that.
Yeah.
There's a lot of that.
I want to psychoanalyze.
Do you want a specific type of man or woman?
No, I think you're already kidding.
I'm not a lover host.
No, I know, I know.
Or woman, right?
Yeah, man or woman.
I'm in my like celibate era right now.
I'm reformed.
Well, then a Twitch streamer is the perfect person today.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
If you never want to fuck, they don't go out, dude.
No, they don't.
It's like kind of, it's kind of good.
I've been in my real grandma era.
Like, I've just been inside drinking tea.
I've been doing crossword puzzles a lot.
That's what I, that's what that's how I spend my time.
It's nice.
I spend it indoors.
Um, okay, so you let's talk about some of the cliff notes before we move on.
Girls' convention, fake marriage, fucking okay.
Oh, yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
So you, those are the only wait, you have a stalker?
Those are some of my things.
Oh, okay.
So I know that I know TanaCon.
Yeah.
I've heard you, unfortunately.
I've heard of that.
That was, do you guys know what that is?
I saw it on Wikipedia.
Yeah.
Did you look up her Wikipedia?
I read the whole thing.
I'm proud of.
Oh, my God.
I read the whole thing.
No, but like all the gays that I talk to love TanaCon.
Yeah, because they love, they love like they love it.
I don't know.
Like for as much of a disaster as everybody said it was, all the girls are love.
They want you to run it back.
I know that's what's crazy is I meet people all the time that are like, do it again.
I'm like, did you see what happened?
But Tana, like I legit, I would go to in your words, what happened?
I held a convention in competition with Vid Khan.
Yeah, fuck Hank Green.
Dude, and what did he do?
You know, he didn't do anything.
Yeah.
I was more frustrated with like, I don't know, other people not Hank Green himself.
But I'm frustrated with Hank Green.
Are you?
Fuck that guy.
Did he also write the books?
Is he that guy?
Him or the brother?
I don't know.
Both of them.
Yeah, I don't really know.
I was coming at the CEO, Jim Lauder, back at the time.
Now we're really cool.
Love Jim Lauder back seriously.
But yeah, I held the convention.
It was really poorly planned.
How old were you?
I was probably 18.
Okay.
And I just didn't choose good business partners and I learned a lot.
And I just let me plan a convention for you.
Everyone thinks I want to run it back.
I just want to, I'm going to hold that L and just plan anything.
There was also the IDUP saga, I remember.
You've talked about this, right?
Like you talked, because you saw him apologize.
Recently, which is kind of, it was unexpected.
It was so long ago that I just, you know, I moved.
What's the IDUP saga?
He, oh, it's this whole thing.
He boxed explain.
We boxed.
Yeah, he boxes now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I think he just, from what I see, he seems like he's a completely different person now.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I did not know him back then.
And so am I.
I did not know him back then at all.
I only met him through his wife, who I love.
She's great.
And I realized that the perception surrounding him was not who he currently was at that time.
Like when I met him, he was already on the pathway to rehabilitate himself.
I love anyone's growth journey.
And you know what I mean?
Like, and I've definitely changed as a person so much, so many times.
And so like before the public eye.
So I have nothing but like, I'm rooting for people who ever, you know, want to do that, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree.
I was debating having him on canceled and kind of on my podcast doing that.
But it also was just so long ago.
And I feel like I've garnered such a new fan base since then that a lot of people don't even really know about it.
And I don't know, you know, it's just, yeah.
You don't want to rehash anything or not even that.
I just like, you know what I mean?
Like it's when something's been so long, what's, yeah, what's the point?
Yeah.
Okay.
He seems, seems like he's doing great.
Yeah.
On our growth era.
I don't know what happened.
It was a, he, he, Ian was before the boxing guy that you know him as, like, who does like charities and stuff, was a bit of a bad boy in the YouTube era where everybody was making like hit pieces on one another.
And he was the guy who like basically made the most popular version of that called Comic Com.
Wait, really?
Yeah, he's the guy who made it.
He was like leafy.
Well, I would say his politics even back then weren't anywhere near as like incel.
He did garner a big incel fan base.
But it was weird because he would like shit on Keemstar and he did one on Tana.
I've never watched it, but I don't know.
I think it was like I was poking the bear too.
I like came at him on Twitter.
Like I, when I look back, it's like you, you made your bed for that one, Tana Lion.
And people want to argue all the semantics of it, you know, and I just don't give a fuck about it now.
But I just, at the time, like, I don't want to say it was a great video because it's like, you know what I mean?
But like he did, that was that era and he did the rolled up to her and said the N-word, like screamed the N-word when they took a photo together.
Like he produced him.
And I didn't even know it was him.
I didn't, I never did that.
Poking The Bear On Twitter00:08:22
Oh, I see.
Which is like real like fucking 4chan pole incel shit.
So many words I don't know.
So many things I don't know.
Well, those people definitely know you and probably hate you as well as myself.
For sure hate me.
So like, yeah.
You know, it was something along those lines.
And, you know, he apologized to Tana personally in his video where he was apologizing for the old videos that he had done.
Yeah.
Something that nobody really asked for, too.
So it was like very cool for him.
And it felt like it was something that he really wanted to say and get off his chest and stuff like that.
Yeah, take ownership over.
But I mean, I wouldn't change that whole era for anything.
I think I learned a lot and I was on a path to kind of be on my high horse and be an entitled brat and it humbled the fuck out of me.
And it, you know, okay.
I needed that, I feel like at the time in some ways or another.
All right.
So then there was a fake wedding.
I don't even know what that is.
Like you got married to Jake Paul or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me either.
Okay.
So there's one part of this.
There's one part of this.
And we can cut this out if you don't want it to be in it.
And it doesn't matter.
Like, this isn't live.
We can cut anything.
I thought we were live.
Oh, you thought we were live?
No.
No.
That would have been.
No, that would have been insane.
This whole setup gives we're live.
Well, this is because I am usually live on the other side.
No.
So I don't know that you were like married to Jake Paul or whatever at all.
I just kind of had heard about it.
But at that time, when you were, I think, dating Jake Paul or married to him or whatever, you sent me a Raya message at 2 a.m.
I don't think that's possible because I've been banned from Raya since I was this was a long time ago.
Well, someone by your name sent me a hey message.
Oh, if someone else is fucking beating me on Raya, I'm pissed because they won't let me back on.
I don't have it.
I don't know.
I'm so how'd you get banned from Raya?
I just was using it at an age you're not supposed to use.
And I'll hold that L. You know, like that was not a wise decision.
I think it was around that.
But now you're definitely of age at that time.
I was like 19.
I don't.
I just remember getting a message on Raya from you.
And I was like, I looked it up and I was like, the first things that popped up was that you were married to Jake Paul.
I think.
I really, like, sincerely, I'm telling you, like, I've been banned from Raya since way before Jake.
Maybe someone was in that era.
Okay.
Maybe someone else.
So did you message back?
No.
Why not?
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
He thought you were married.
So you're on Raya.
He didn't want to be a homework.
No, I mean, I've been on Raya.
Yeah.
Have you ever been on a Raya date?
Yeah.
Really?
Like a lot of them?
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I've been on.
I got on Raya when it first came out because my girl I was like hooking up with before the girl I was hooking up with at the time wanted to like prove how like cool and you know friends we were and not anything more.
That she was like, oh my gosh, the idea, the idea of me because I've definitely done that to a guy and the idea of a guy knowing I'm doing that, is like I'm having a visceral reaction right now.
And and like she was like oh, don't worry, like I'll get you on Raya.
And I was like okay fine, because I had like tried to get on it but I couldn't because you know the panel, I guess like said no or some shit.
I don't know, I think it was now they let everyone on connecting my mailman's on Raya.
Yeah no, this was like five, six years ago like, like when it first came out, when Raya first came out um, and they had the panel and like she even showed me like the, the panel of judges that they have and like how they select, like their selection process and stuff.
And she was like oh, I know the CEO, like I'll get you on it, and I was like fuck yeah, let's do it.
Let's give her a call and get me on banner and then well, it's too.
It's been such a long time I don't know if she still knows the CEO fucking anything.
I haven't talked to her in years.
Sorry I missed.
So she got me on it and yeah, I've been on many dates off of it and it's.
It was great.
It was great in the beginning.
Any relationships come from Raya, No.
Every Raya date I ever went on.
I'm going to call them relationships.
Like I've, I've, uh, I've been in situationships.
Situationships.
Is that like your vibe still?
Are you a big dater?
I go in and out of phases.
What's your longest relationship?
Um, my longest relationship was two years.
Good.
It was like one of it was my first serious, my first serious girlfriend.
Yeah.
Um, and yeah, that was, that was many, many years ago.
It's beautiful.
I don't know why I just started grilling you on your love life.
Yeah, I don't know.
Especially because I rarely ever talk about my private life.
I don't.
Yeah, I don't.
So I don't know if that was me on Raya.
I'm also not a big first messenger or wasn't on Raya at least at the time.
But if it was, you know.
My assistant.
That's the girl for shooting her shot, right?
My assistant, Taylor, she's but she's on, she's on Raya.
I think genuinely, because they, I think now it's like, you don't have to like.
So you're downplaying yourself.
You have a whole ass assistant.
Well, I'm like, I'm like a businesswoman.
But I'm not like.
No, you are.
You get it.
You'll get it.
You check out.
Taylor's super hot.
So I think you just have to be like pretty now to get on Raya.
I think that's like, you don't have to be like famous.
You just have to be gorgeous.
Because you can get the friend passes.
Like if you have a friend on Raya that maybe is noteworthy, they can just like, you know.
Oh, that's interesting.
I use that phrase in my real life too.
Yeah.
You know, like that wasn't the friend passes.
That's the friend pass ass motherfucker.
But she, we were trying to like, do you ever like play Tinder?
Or like, I mean, let's play Tinder.
And then you play the game.
It's fun.
I, or like, if you're in a relationship and your friends on hand, you're still going on.
I think it's so funny.
It's like TikTok.
It's fun.
NPCs around LA.
I feel like that's a very girl opinion.
Because I feel like for guys, it's like a treacherous space where you're like...
It's so fun.
It's girl.
Oh, every girl is going to say no to me.
Like, I feel like that's the shared.
Well, not for me.
I don't feel that way.
I was going to say, you don't strike me as fear of rejection.
No, no, no, no.
I'm talking about the average common male experience.
Well, that's a different thing.
The gay world is different.
What?
LS.
That's why you have them.
Yeah, that's why you have me to talk about gay experiences.
Yeah.
So on Grinder.
Yeah.
No, Grinder is like, I often say that you could get a blowjob faster than you can.
Oh, my God.
Grinder's insane.
It's insane.
I've been doing this thing where I sit in a room full of straight men and I just go on YouTube and type in the Grinder notification and I play it and I see what turns their head.
Oh, that's awesome.
What's the Grinder notification?
Wait, that is awesome.
Does it work?
It does work.
I don't think I've ever heard the Grinder notification.
Wait, so like, is this like a YouTube video or do you still on your podcast?
No, I just do this in my real life.
I love doing things called just my own entertainment.
Have you ever been?
Are you surprised by the people that turn their heads?
It is crazy.
I just did it to this like group of rappers in New York and it was funny.
Oh, who popped up?
Who perked up?
I'm not.
You know, I didn't come on here today to out and you know.
Is that the Grinder notification?
Yeah.
That is one of them.
There's like, there's also so far on your whistle one.
My gosh.
I think Whistle is a different app.
My, oh, my boss one time went and got a blowjob during lunch break and his phone was going off like crazy and we were supposed to have a meeting and he was like, oh, I'm going to skip out the meeting.
We're like, we're supposed to have a meeting over lunch.
And he's like, I just got to go back to my hotel room.
We're at a convention.
I looked down at his phone because he was going, and I was like, it's a fucking grinder.
I was like, you motherfucker.
Yeah, like, Grindup's not really for dating.
It's for hookups.
I mean, it is for hookups, but like it can, it can get into dating.
Yeah.
If you like, if you have a connection with somebody.
Like, a lot of people are like, like, Grinder's not for hookups.
Or excuse me, it's not for dating.
But like, you can, sometimes you'll meet somebody and you'll be able to.
So what app would you use for dating?
Honestly, I started.
Instagram.
Yeah, Instagram.
Yeah.
Like Instagram.
Because like I started like getting noticed on Grinder and Tinder.
The app he used for dating is the Hasan Everborka is on Twitch.tv.
No, it's not Hassan.
I don't date through.
I don't date his fans, but he gets, you know, I don't date his fans, but like all queer people watch him.
It Is Not For Dating00:03:37
So it's like hard to like not ally.
Yeah, exactly.
No, no, no.
So I'm an enemy.
So that's why they watch.
Oh, they hate watch.
They're like, I can fix him.
I'm like, no, you can't.
Nope.
He's a foe.
He's a home foe.
But on Raya, you get flagged.
So like.
Taylor was over and I was like, let's play Raya.
And she's like, okay.
And so we go to airstream it to the TV.
So it flagged it.
Yeah.
Because on Raya.
There's no screen recording alive.
Yeah, there's no screen recording allowed and technically airstreaming.
And so we're like, so then we had to, I used my phone's camera that we airstreamed to the TV and then her phone was in between my thumbs.
Women in STEM.
That's women.
So everyone in the room could watch.
Yeah, I was sick.
No, it's why so much ingenuity.
It's girls night.
Okay.
Speaking of doing girl stuff, you were supposed to come on the broadcast for some tier list activities earlier, but instead you have the fucking sticker on.
Let's talk about Taylor Swift.
What's going on?
We're not talking about it again.
No, don't take it off.
Don't take it off as shame.
No, keep it on.
She's a huge Taylor Swift star.
She had a pop-up at the Grammy Museum that got close today, but it was way small.
I thought it was way bigger.
Like, was she, she wasn't there?
Like, you were there?
No, no, no.
It was her outfits from her Speak Now tour.
Like, the Grammy Museum is full of outfits, idiot.
Don't laugh.
They had a Harry Styles outfit.
I wish I could have smelt it.
I don't.
What?
I don't care.
Why would you bring up Aries?
I was like, I'm going to be like, oh, okay, never mind.
Valid.
Oh, they had a whole Shakira floor dedicated to Shakira.
Still.
And it's like in glass cases on mannequins.
Yeah, it's cool.
So they won't let you smell them.
Unfortunately, found out.
Can't smell them.
Was there a Taylor Swift?
There's a lot of Swifties.
Were there bracelets?
Yeah, someone came up to me, actually.
What?
Were they a fan of you?
I'm warning about it.
This bracelet.
Wow, that's an amazing one, too.
That's a cute one.
The bracelet era is plaguing me.
I leave like every show on tour, like up to my elbows with them now.
I love it.
Did Taylor Swift start that?
Fuck no, bro.
It's from like the EDM community.
And like, I got you.
I was raving.
And like, that's when I remember being on like ecstasy back in the day.
And people are like, I have to clear some things up with this.
Clear the air.
This is some.
Okay, listen.
Yes, it started EDM.
They did that.
But the reason.
The reason it infiltrated and got spurred into the Taylor Swift community.
This was never before the Eras tour.
The Eras tour started this because on midnight.
Foff off Queen.
Yeah.
On midnight, she has a song, You're On Your Own Kid, where she says, make the friendship bracelets.
Take the moment and taste it.
And everyone took that line and they're like, okay, bitch, we're making friendship bracelets.
It's incredible.
And that's where Swift has like mind control on white women.
It's crazy.
It is.
She can get them to do the people's revolution.
That's what I'm waiting on.
Once she reads a little bit of Mao's little red book, she's going to literally put it.
She actually does have so much control over it.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It is.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
If you're like bored, if you're like a bored housewife or even if you're like, you know, grew up and had a relationship as a white woman, you love Taylor Swift.
What?
Does Taylor Swift have mind control over you?
I really love and respect her career.
I love her music.
I think she's an incredible lyricist.
And like, even just going to her tour, I've never seen anything like that.
Her stage presence, her ability to bring in the audience.
I agree.
What I say that I don't necessarily know if I'm like, I think calling myself a Swifty is.
Why are you laughing?
It's okay not to be a Swiftie.
No, It's just I love her.
I love everything about her, but I know what, like, my assistant is a die-hard Swifty.
Like, she, like, would, do you know what I mean?
Does Swift Have Mind Control00:11:26
Like, I feel like she's very normal.
I'm doing like a, you know, am I doing a justice to the Swifty community by being like, I'm a Swifty.
Like, I don't know.
No, anyone could be a Swiftie.
You fucking grew up in Nevada and like, you know, got adopted by your friends' family.
Yeah, I had Lil Wayne posters all day.
Well, actually, you had a fucked up upbringing.
Yeah, there's songs.
She, okay, everyone's forever.
Anyone who says, like, oh, she only has breakup songs?
No, like, there's a song called Seven that's really about like growing up and being fucked up.
And just like, what happened to her that was like fucked up as a kid?
Well, she just never got that scarf back, dude.
Yeah, she did never get that scarf.
Isn't that?
I mean, that's an analogy for a virginity.
Good job.
Whoa.
I'm an ally.
That was great.
Yeah.
Her parents were divorced.
Her mom had cancer.
As soon as she became into fame, she just got fucked over in fame.
Like her whole adolescence was just kind of stolen from her through the industry.
And so like, you know, she's had some shit.
See, once I know, if I were to know like more, then I would be like, yes, I'm at the, but like, that's some Swifty shit.
Like, I didn't use the sexuality.
That seems like the Tana Mongeau story.
One parallels.
Yeah.
We'll talk the Swifty drama on your podcast.
I can't.
She was calling me a bitch.
I kind of liked it.
Whoa, wait.
No, I wish I was.
I wish you were.
Okay, so we covered all that.
We covered the Raya thing.
What else?
The Raya thing, yeah.
Covering major topics up there.
No, I've just been in my mind since you've been thinking about it since 2000.
No, no, since you were like, oh, we should have Tana on.
I was like, oh, I'll ask her about this.
That's kind of crazy.
Like, you've always just perceived me as like getting at you on Raya.
Yeah, I was just like, damn, he's been hollering.
I've known he's going to ask this question for weeks.
Yeah.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, you told me.
Yes, you told me.
Were we like flexing it or were you like this weird girl?
No, he just said he was like, yeah, I'm going to ask this question because like at 2 a.m. on the hard time.
I thought it'd be good drama.
That's like my whole life, though.
Like, I'm just like, oh, that does sound like me.
I have really bad memories.
I was hoping you'd have a moment where you would have been like, oh, I had such a big crush on you in 2000.
That'd be funny.
No, I, sadly.
But it turns out you didn't even know who he was until now.
That wouldn't have stopped someone from hitting me up on Raya, though.
Maybe he had good.
What were your photos looking like at the time?
I don't remember.
He looked probably all right.
I did well for myself, I think, on Raya in general on dating apps.
So that's the show.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know why we're talking about this.
Okay.
We were talking about do's and don'ts, and you kind of were a little evasive.
You just were like, oh, it's whatever.
Any do's, any don'ts.
No sexual do's and don'ts.
Yeah.
You want to revisit?
You should have asked me on Raya.
Too late.
Yeah, why didn't you respond, asshole?
There's well, he thought I was married.
Well, that was one, but I don't even really remember.
But there was a lot of, what do you, what do you mean?
There's, there are entire fucking videos on YouTube like of Pokemon making fun of me for not responding to girls on Raya.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't, I don't know.
I really, I don't think it was me, the timeline-wise, but who knows?
Maybe.
Anyway, do's and don'ts.
Maybe.
He's still holding on to it.
Doesn't matter.
It was a long time ago.
Just in general, a big don't for me is like overt, insane narcissism.
Like a man who's going to go through his camera roll in bed with you.
Like that's a huge.
There's dudes who do that?
Okay, so you're not a camera roll guy then.
Wait, what does that mean?
Wait, there's a type.
There's a type I can do.
What the fuck, wait.
Come on.
Wait, Wayne is that type of guy.
No!
Oh, yeah.
Also, doesn't know because he is.
No, I'm not.
I've never gone through my camera roll with somebody.
It's like, we just hooked up, and why am I looking at photos from your trip to Big Bear three years ago?
You know what I mean?
Like, wait, that's a thing?
Dudes will pull out their phone.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me?
Okay, I pulled out my camera roll before, but not on a hookup.
Okay, okay, okay.
No, no, a camera roll is an amazing point of reference and obviously an archive of your life.
I'm not saying you can never open your camera roll and saying there's a time and a place and a social.
But like, okay, okay.
Well, I gotta come out.
I'm a camera roll guy, but not like, but no, he is.
He is.
No, no, no.
But, but, but, like, not on a hookup.
Okay.
Like, talking, like, we're dating.
We've been together for like a few different weekends.
Like, we're like in our third weekend, and then maybe I'll pull out the camera roll to reference some to show all your shirtless photos.
Yeah, as long as it's all your shirtless photos.
No, no, no.
I would never show them shirtless pictures.
As long as it makes sense.
You know, there's a line there.
There's an area there.
So you had sex with someone and they literally were just like, This is more common than you think.
You like, I'm saying, yo, Tana, check this shit.
This is more common than you think.
Like, how?
How?
I don't.
I've been asking, dude, what are you gay for a second?
I was like, I can't see another camera roll.
I can't see another fucking that was like all the dudes you were fucking were doing this.
No, I don't know, dude.
What the fuck?
But you know what?
I am realizing, but they were like pretty boys or something, right?
Like, I don't know.
Would they show pictures of themselves?
Like, I need to make sure I'm not one of these guys.
Yeah, like, I don't know.
I don't show pictures of myself.
Why would I do that?
I'd be interested in that.
Austin, you and my brother, when we were in Japan, went to breakfast multiple times.
You made him change his seat every single time so you could not even look outside at the beautiful scenery of Tokyo at the four seasons, but instead because the light was, well, I wasn't saying that.
He was, but because the light was actually hitting his face so we could take Snapchat pictures to send the Japanese queen.
Honestly, that's valid.
Thank you, Tana.
You are the most camera roll guy ever.
Also, this is why, yeah, this is poetry right there.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I can't be.
Poetry.
It was, it was poetry?
I was trying to take photos and it was dark, and so I had to get where the lighting was.
You know what I mean?
No, yeah.
It's unacceptable.
Okay, but to be to be clear, Tana, I don't want you to think I'm one of these guys that's like sitting there, like, oh, yeah, check it out.
I don't think that's true if I did.
You know, you're not swinging for my team.
So if you want to go do that, like, I'm not like, yo, check out.
I'm not a flex type of guy.
Yeah, but I've, I had this out-of-body experience the other day where I saw this TikTok, and this girl was like, I get the biggest ick when a guy's leaving Starbucks and he has a Frappuccino.
It's just like, and I was like, damn, like, I'm one of these girls.
Like, this is so fucking embarrassing.
Like, I think I just have to retire the whole ick of it all and do's and don'ts of it all because it's like, you know what I mean?
Like, I do a lot of stuff.
Wait, the girl has an ick when a guy drinks a frappuccino.
What the fuck?
Why?
Like, this was her ick.
I think she's feminine or something.
There's lots of icks in the world.
But I just think societally.
What are your icks?
Everybody, give me your icks.
But I'm trying to stop being my ick type of girl because it's like, I do the worst shit.
We don't do any of that.
We don't do any of the basic stuff.
What's your ick?
Give me your ick.
I don't remember.
Give me an ick.
I'm trying to think.
My major one was watching a guy chase a ping pong ball.
And then that's awesome.
That's so, but that's good.
That's but then it's like, I'll be like putting on my shoes with like no socks or something.
And it's like, where do you have the room to like, you know, that was a bad analogy?
I wear socks, but you get what I'm saying.
So she's saying nobody's perfect.
I'm wearing socks right now.
And you've got to work it.
Okay.
So, but you saw who's the sexiest man that you know other than Jeff?
Who is the sexiest man that I know?
Is he?
Yeah.
Who's I've I'm so close to him that I'm gonna take it back.
I'm gonna take it back.
No, he, I don't want him to get it.
He's gonna be, I know.
It's a fucking piece of shit.
Anyway, it's gotten to the point where we're so close that like I, his, his sex appeal no longer affects you.
It doesn't affect you.
Well, it is never.
It's so close.
We see each other in so many lights where it's like, oh my God.
I love Jeff.
Yeah.
But he was wearing these crazy no-show socks the other day and I was like, I can't look.
He gives me shit because I wear.
Yeah, no-show socks are nasty.
I just, there's not enough sock in ratio to foot.
He was wearing no-show socks.
He was wearing that he got on an airplane and he put on and I was like tucking them into his shoe and I was like, oh my God, we are just too close.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Was he wearing loafers or something?
What the fuck?
What was he wearing?
No-show sock like, like with these little sneakers.
I love him and i'm always.
This is how.
This is how people look at you when you do your no-show sock shit.
But also like I mean, you can kind of see and this is a crazy take from me but like he is gay.
Yeah, so he's one of the girls, so he could wear a no-show sock.
It was like Jeff, like you know, I could show a little ankle, I could even put a tattoo.
No yeah no it's, it's unacceptable.
Are you into him?
And that's why yeah, that's why I want to have gay sex with him.
You nail what I tell you tan, that you're.
Why do you have to say gay sex?
Why not just sex?
I think it's funnier.
I told you i'm homophobic, but he's homophobic yeah, and i've always said that about you.
But the funny thing is he he also does say that he's like it's not gay sex, it's just sex.
I'm like no, it's gay sex.
He truly doesn't seem.
Sometimes i'm like having sex with a guy and i'm like this is gay sex because you know yeah, does that mean it's like really good or like no?
Well, like it depends on who you're talking to.
Because if i'm like this is gay sex.
I'm like yeah, you know, I don't know, I just elaborating, I think, would do me an injustice.
So like he is gay and like he just doesn't know how to.
Maybe there is that like level of sex.
But have you ever had sex with a guy who was like straight?
And then you're like I don't know.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
It's like why yeah, this is cutie's forte like, why are you?
Why were you hyper focused on only my ass?
Yeah, the whole time.
You know like it's like.
But I don't know, no shade, I just wait.
Really, pandora's box of maybe he's just the ass man, he just loves ass, but not like an assay really, they're just gay.
It's like I might as well have just been like just a butthole.
Yeah wait, so that's so that's, that's a red flag right there.
It's not a red flag.
Well, I mean just a bag, it's a pride flag.
But see, everybody knew, like I think some people knew I gave I was gay, because when I was, because I would, when I would, people would ask me what my favorite part of a woman was.
I would describe, I would say, the navel.
I don't think that's.
You've said this before.
I don't think that's gay, but a lot of, a lot of women suck.
I don't think that's gay, it's just stupid as hell.
It's just like, no, because that I don't know for me like, I don't really like, like people, probably the type of thing that, like the way you describe that in a setting, would not like uh, would not hit my gay dar at all.
I would just think, like you're trying to be a pussy, like oh, I love a woman's face.
I'm not that type of situation.
I think I like a belly button more than most people too.
Yeah yeah see, I think it's an important part, it's a it's, it's a good.
It can be a part that you look at and go like damn.
So if you were the guy and he's hyper focused on your belly button all the time, you wouldn't, I wouldn't think he was.
That wouldn't be a pride flag.
No yeah, I would just be like whoa, what the fuck?
So dudes it's like.
If I liked him I would probably play into it.
I'd be like putting like bedazzles around my gay.
So wait, dudes are really into anal like that, like exclusively.
That's very weird.
You meet the weirdest dudes I do have.
I have a lot of weird dudes.
Yeah, I know a lot of weird dudes.
I definitely had just an era of my life where I felt like I was attracting really, you know, peculiar men like youtube.
Yeah, you know, youtube does that.
I feel like Yeah, and just being in LA, just my choices and people.
I'm rebranding.
I'm reformed from all of that activity as of late.
Dudes Are Into Anal Exclusively00:12:56
What do you do now?
Nothing.
I'm fucking, I'm celibate as fuck.
Okay.
No more going to hide.
No more HBO group.
I'm not kidding you.
That was a great analogy because sincerely, it's the type of people.
I don't even know what nightclubs are popping anymore.
He won't go.
He can't last in the game.
I try to get him into the Abbey.
I'm really.
Yeah, Weho scares the shit out of me.
Why?
Because I always get roofied there.
Oh, shit.
I haven't been in a long time.
And the gays roofy me.
That's the thing that I'm like, dude.
So fucked up.
That was your goal.
They're not even trying to fuck you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
They're just trying to fuck with you?
What are they doing?
I think that they just think I'm more fun than I am.
You know, they're like, she would love this GHV.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I don't, I don't, it's been a long time since I've been to Weho.
Yeah, I don't really go out anymore.
You know, I'm.
Where's the last nightclub you went to?
I'm like asking because I like to be like in the living vicariously.
No, I could just live if I wanted to.
I just don't want to because I hate it.
My dream nightclub as of late is like a Gelson's grocery store at like 7.30 p.m.
But I was just in New York for fashion week.
So I had to attend some events for work that were like at the clubs there.
I went to like Marquee in New York and stuff.
But it was scaring me.
Does it still exist?
Yeah, like it was just crazy.
It just, it's too much for me.
And it's so weird because I'm 25 and I feel 80.
And I go to these like nightclub settings now and I'm like, this is packed.
Why do I want to yell over people's voices like this?
It's just.
It's because you've been in LA for 10 years.
Yeah.
I feel 80.
But it's like, and then I see all these like 30-year-old influencer men like out at the clubs.
And it's just like, I don't know.
It's a visceral.
I think that's also because they haven't popped off until later in their lives or something.
Like I've been living here for 10 years.
I did all of that when I was like in my early 20s and it was a lot of fun.
Yeah, I went.
Did you like kind of blow up when you were younger?
No.
I was just here.
You know what I mean?
Where are you from?
I'm from Turkey.
I grew up in Istanbul.
Really?
But favorite airport.
Really?
Oh, such a good airport, isn't it?
Strange.
I love it.
Is it not a great airport?
It's fine.
It's not like.
It's fine.
Even Casey Neistat said that at some point that it was a good thing.
It's a nice airport for sure, especially if you're used to just American airports.
It's just a great.
What's your favorite airline?
What's my favorite airline?
Yeah.
I think Jet Blue or Delta.
Oh, Delta.
Delta's sexy.
Jet Blue's all right.
I think I'm a plane.
No, Jet Blue is good.
I like Louisiana's airport because they have these plastic things on the toilet.
And when you flush, it rotates and covers.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
And I love those as well.
Maybe they should get some environmentally friendly ones.
I like the Portland airport.
I don't know.
If we have to forsake a few turtles for those, like.
I'm kidding.
That was a joke.
I like the Portland airport because Portland airport is like big enough, but it's still Portland.
He likes.
I said I like the Portland airport because the Portland airport's big, but it still has the vibes of like a local airport, like a tiny airport.
I mean, it's, it's, it's an international airport.
Yeah, it is.
That's what I mean.
I don't know.
That's what I mean.
Like, um, I like it because, like, it still has like the vibes of a, like, I feel like I'm in fucking Fargo when I go to, when I'm ever in Portland airport, I feel like I'm in that, in the movie or in the TV show Fargo.
It's like very, it's got like a very Midwest aesthetic, even though it's not.
It's not even close.
Have you been to Portland?
I've been to Portland.
There's fucking carpet.
And it's like...
I really like Portland.
Did you go there?
It's a sad town.
It is sad to see.
Everyone's sad in Portland, and I feel at home.
It's depressing.
But I like a depressing place because they're owning it.
They're rolling the depression.
They're like, oh, we're all fucking sad.
It's fucking raining here.
And it's just something about that feels like a hug.
It's cozy.
It's cozy.
Yeah.
It's cozy.
I like Portland.
Yeah.
Did your tour go there?
Not yet.
I've toured there before in the past.
You should.
Yeah, I've done some shows there.
It's really fun.
People, you know that place, voodoo donuts in Portland.
People always bring me the penis donuts for my shows when they do them there.
I've never been to Portland.
I've only been in the airport.
You won't come visit me.
I refuse to go.
Oh, you like from Portland?
Yeah, I'm from Portland.
No, are you sad?
I'm not sad.
No, because I come to LA every week.
You're a little sad.
Yeah.
You think I'm sad?
Not at all.
I don't think he's sad.
I've talked about it.
I don't think he's sad at all.
If there's one person I know that rarely ever gets sad, it's him.
Really?
You are talking about yourself.
Really?
Oh, you're so sweet.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I mean, he works like eight hours a month.
There's no way he could be sad.
I work all the time.
He just misses it.
No, I love someone who does nothing.
I'm not saying if you do or don't, I have a lot of friends like that where I'm just like, I live vicariously through them.
Yeah, I don't know.
Never had a real problem in their life.
Yeah, a lot of people don't know what I do, but like I do a lot.
You know what you do?
Well, I do a lot.
A lot of it's secret, right?
A lot of it's secret, and I don't tell you.
I was acting like you're fucking working at Langley.
Come on.
There's so much.
Yeah, oh, yeah, totally.
He goes to Starbucks and sits there with a laptop and he's not even doing anything.
But what matters is if you think you're doing something.
I feel productive, right?
I go to my local Starbucks and I pull up my laptop.
This is why the gays love you.
I think that's the only thing that you right-one because you're messy and two, because you're.
And I just live in hyper delusion and I'm down to feed everyone else.
Yeah, you're like, oh, no, it's great.
You don't have to have a job, King.
Tana, Tana, this is the most valid.
I'm going to die anyways.
Yeah.
This is the most validation I've ever had on this podcast.
I'm happy to do that for you.
Yeah, usually Hassan and Will.
Cutie's my ally over here.
Not really.
It's hard to agree with sometimes.
Yeah.
Do you think it's because he's gay?
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah, I don't agree with his lifestyle at all.
I have a hard time with it.
That's why I don't go to Portland.
Too liberal.
Hate that.
When you're on tour, how many live people come?
I loved live, like their livestock, like the cattle I'm hurting.
It kind of is the vibes, honestly, that everyone's feral that comes to our shows.
It's usually like a thousand, no more than 2,000 ever.
So somewhere like under there per shows.
And we do smaller shows and we do theaters.
It just depends.
Has anyone ever tried to sleep with you?
I'm really lucky that my fan base is so gay.
Girl-coated.
Yeah.
So it's like usually the only like men that are coming to my shows are boyfriends that got dragged by their girlfriends.
And it's so funny to see because they are just fucking miserable to be there.
They know they're getting the best blowjob ever that night from their girlfriend.
Like, what do you guys talk about that?
So just, you know, something that guys don't want to listen to.
That's a really great question.
It's the same as wine.
I mean, the problem with wine about it is it's a podcast made from a Twitch audience, which is all male.
Yeah.
So they see two female Twitch streamers and they're like, oh, we're going to go over here.
And then they start listening to us bitch and moan.
And they're like, oh.
And so we've had to grow our female audience like organically.
And so it's been really weird to like see that.
Cause like, that's why she does fifth column style infiltration of other podcasts.
So she so she could grow their female audience.
She wanted me here.
Same, same.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel like the dynamic of my podcast, I always relate it to the girls waking up after a night out in like college and then they all get on one girl's bed and they unpack what happened that night.
I feel like our podcast kind of possesses that dynamic very much.
But what do you talk about if you don't go out much anymore?
There's still other stuff happening in her orbit.
It is harder.
For a long time, I felt pressure to kind of do a lot more so that I would create something to talk about.
But I've kind of noticed that, you know, chaos follows me no matter what.
So it's not, you know, our dating lives, our lives, our, you know, right now we've both had to have some weird stalker situations, Brooke and I.
So we kind of unpacked that today.
Just random shit, really.
I have a thing that's like randomly happening in your periphery as well that I want to hear your takes on.
What is his name?
Dylan Danis.
What's your take?
What's Dylan Danis?
Is it Danis?
I always thought it was Danny.
I don't fucking know.
Dylan Danis, who is this?
I don't fucking know.
I don't follow any of that.
Oh, is that the guy that's obsessed with Logan Paul?
Full disclosure, for those of you at home who don't know anything about this because you watch me and I never covered shit like this for the most part.
Logan Paul.
YouTube drama and Twitch drama.
There's like a separate drama.
I don't really cover Twitch drama that much either anymore.
But Logan Paul is Logan Paul.
Not exactly the biggest fan of him, even though I do love Mike.
That's funny.
He's supposed to...
Now you get yourself to love Mike and not Logan.
I'm kidding.
I love Mike.
I just love to give him a hard time.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, we're not going to talk about that.
I've talked about that way too much.
And he's been on the pod before twice.
Logan Paul is facing off and fighting Dylan Danis, who is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guy who was, I think, Conor McGregor's grapple coach.
And they were supposed to fight as the undercard underneath the KSI fight.
KSI is Logan Paul's business partner on Prime.
And what ended up happening over the course of this past month or so was that Dylan Danis decided to, instead of shit talk Logan, he just decided to slut shame Logan's fiancé.
What's her name?
Nina?
Yeah, Nina's such a like sweet, amazing girl.
So I hate to see it.
I really do.
And like really gruesome shit.
And every day is like.
I've been attracted to it a couple times now, like where he'll say something about me.
And I've been treading the water lightly because I just, I don't need the Pandora's box of my life opened solely by Dylan Dannis, I think.
I think part of that is also because it seems like he's doing the Andrew Tate thing where he's like, I'm a fighter guy and also love doing misogyny.
And there is a...
There's a huge audience.
There's a huge audience for that.
This dude, I feel like everything I learned about him was against my will.
I did not want to learn anything about this guy.
You know, that's how people feel about me.
But I fucking, well, that's how people feel about me too.
But I fucking learned about all this shit because it kept coming up on my fucking timeline over and over again on goddamn Twitter because now it's like more of a shithole.
All these women just, you know, making sandwiches.
Yeah.
And that's the kind of misogyny I do like.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean, there's tasteful.
Yeah.
Tasteful misogyny.
I didn't even want to say it because it get clipped.
But and then like these, these fucking gremlins are like, yeah, like Logan is being destroyed.
Like you're destroying him.
And it's like, I mean, all he's done is just like put photos of her that she took with like other people.
It's also like Leonardo DiCaprio and shit.
Like I know if that happened to me, it would be some lizard from Los Angeles with like face tattoos and no careers.
At least it's Leonardo DiCaprio.
I mean, all of that is unfortunately in the name of the fighting game.
And it, you know, it's, you could classify, where does the line draw where it's good fight promo or it's too far?
I think no women and children is like the mafia.
You know, women and children.
Even they drew a line at that.
Yeah.
That's fair.
But yeah, I think that there's like, there's a lot of hostility towards women.
And there's a lot of hostility towards men from what I would categorize as Brad Femmes or femme cells.
Not to the same degree, of course.
And obviously the systemic implications are not the same either.
However, it's always like everything devolves into gender wars online, I feel like, especially on TikTok too, and certainly on Twitter.
And at a certain point, it's just like, yeah, dudes are just kind of using this as a way to like become more famous.
I mean, even like 60,000?
Yeah, you went from like 60,000 followers to like a million.
And that's what's annoying.
It's like such a rinse and repeat thing.
Like, I'm a guy with no talent, so I'm just going to start shitting on like women or gays or whatever to get more clicks.
And then all of a sudden I'm making money off of it.
And it's like, oh, my God, how exhausting.
It's interesting because Logan Paul is such a target-rich environment to shit on.
Like, if he just kind of shit on Logan Paul, I would have been there for it.
You know what I mean?
I don't fucking know anything about Dylan Danis.
I think people love to see Logan in weak light or like in a, you know, some people love to like see this.
I mean, I can't lie.
I can't wait to see this fight.
Yeah, when is it?
Yeah.
That's the funny thing.
All this promo and none of us know when it is.
Yeah, that's really fair.
But we're going to find out, though.
Yeah.
We're going to watch it.
Because, you know, it's interesting to see it.
Yeah, I'm going to watch it.
Like, I'm invested now.
Keep going.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I thought you were figuring out when the fight was.
How many of you were doing a day, you think?
I have no fucking clue.
More than 20?
Probably.
Is that like a 300-pack?
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's Costco.
Oh, it's Walgreens.
October 14th.
Oh, my God.
That's so long.
There's another month of him posting pictures of his girlfriend.
I Am In A Cookie Kick00:08:38
Is it every day?
Yeah.
No, well, she, she also, like, got a restraining order on him successfully as a matter of fact.
And apparently, like, her Snapchat might have been hacked.
And, like, that's where he's getting some of the...
An ick is when guys use the doggy Snapchat filter.
Get out of my life.
So girl.
Oh, yeah.
I think just Snapchat in general.
You look stupid as hell.
I can't.
Like, if a guy's like, what's your Snapchat?
I'd like to get it.
Okay, but I have to do that to validate what somebody looks like on Grindr.
I understand.
Well, Grinder and Snapchat kind of goes to the bottom.
Stop defending yourself.
Grinder and Snapchat go hand in hand.
It's all hookup culture.
You won't have the same as us.
Oh, I know, but I was just, you know, I was just seeing, like, what, what do you think about that?
You guys keep wanting passes from us?
I'm trying to hook up culture.
We think you're cool.
Tana is valid to me today.
I need to get all I can.
I think Snapchat's a part of a hookup culture.
And, you know, if you're just trying to hook up with someone, it works.
So, so I'm not.
Like, I'm definitely like, I'm ready for marriage.
So I really am.
She's ready to train.
You're ready to settle down.
Okay.
Trad wife.
Where are you looking?
Trad wife.
What does that mean?
Traditional wife.
Haven't you seen the propaganda on like TikTok of them like, all these men want us to go to the workforce, but like harness your female energy and stay home and be a caretaker and make cookies and bake and sew it.
People make eight doors.
It's so sweet.
I know.
I've been watching it.
I'm kind of like, wait.
See, like, I'm kind of down for misogyny sometimes.
You know what I mean?
You're going to build that.
I do want to harness my female.
You go build that show.
I will make this sandwich.
You know what I mean?
But I want to eat it too.
I don't want to give it to somebody.
That's my problem.
You know what I mean?
You're a feeder.
You're a feeder.
With cookies.
Yeah.
I'm in a cookie kick right now.
I'm just a celebrity chocolate chick.
I used to be a pastry chef.
What do you?
Oh, my God.
What do you like?
What's the brand that you're...
Okay.
It's not about the brand.
It's about just a good, like, oh, just, I don't, anywhere.
There's got to be, there's got to be like one.
Like, I'm going to have a selex chocolate chunk collab.
Like, oh, I love a little sea salt in there.
Like that.
I like hard cookies.
Like, I want them.
I want it to be like hockey puck style.
You don't like fucking chewy?
No, like chewy chips ahoy.
I won't really.
No, chips ahoy is disgusting.
Chips ahoy in general is nasty because like I feel like there's like a chemical taste to it.
I love like a OG, like an original crunchy chips ahoy.
That's a Vegas.
I hate.
Yeah, I hate crunchy.
Chewy over country any day.
They must be pumping those chips ahoy with a lot of chemicals because I've had some in my pantry with the bag open for like three weeks.
And they're still chewy.
And I kind of put my hand in there every once in a while.
Yeah.
And they're still chewy.
I just don't fuck with that laughy taffy texture.
No, I like chewy.
I like chewy cookies, but like not chips ahoy, like real cookie cookies.
I want that shit to burn.
Like homemade cookies.
Like even homemade cookies you like hard?
Yeah.
Like I set them out and I like wait for them to like.
That's interesting.
How can you call yourself a cookie slow when you have such bad taste in cookies?
That's usually how it goes for me, you know?
It's nasty.
Like, I'm just repping my horrible taste.
Like, what about Crumble or some shit?
You know what I'm saying?
I've never had a crumble cookie.
Those things are soft.
I've been bad, and I'm an LA influencer.
You won't have it.
That's your priority straight.
They're too soft.
You won't like it.
You have to harvest it.
You won't like it.
They're huge.
They are.
They're crazy.
They're crazy because they literally, like, they sell it as like one cookie for like $20 or something.
No, I'm in the wrong business.
Yeah.
Do you want the Crumble Cookie drama?
Yeah, I know that.
Are you going to say the calories?
Is that what you're going to?
No, bitch.
Oh, what's the other drama?
I'm going to talk about the drama.
What's our drummer?
So there's this cookie company called Penguin Brothers in Logan, Utah.
Okay.
And then Crumble started their cookie.
Don't talk about it.
Also from in Logan, Utah.
Yeah.
And they started, Crumble essentially stole all the Penguin Brothers recipes.
But then they got more famous.
How did they steal the recipes?
It's chocolate chips.
They had an ex-employee from like the Penguin Brothers.
And for the record, it might not be called Penguin Brothers.
Yeah, this is a rogue thing to me.
It was something.
It was something.
But they stole somebody, another cookie company's recipe.
And that cookie company kind of sucks.
And Crumble went crazy, mostly because their marketing, because their recipes were nearly identical because they yoinked them.
But then they pretended like they didn't.
Those cookies are fucking nuts, though.
They're like nothing to do with it.
They're like 700 calories per cookie.
Yeah, it's insane.
No way.
Yeah, it's not this big, but the entire fucking cookie is like a whole ass meal, which leads me to the subject that I wanted to discuss.
The new Ice Spice Latte on Dunkin' Don't Y'all seen this shit?
That's crazy.
Wait, Ice Spice like the singer?
Yes.
Has a latte?
It's an ice spice and the recipe got leaked.
Be famous enough to be something that I can drink.
I will never do it.
Yeah, I will never do it.
I could do it now.
It'd be like, no corporation is interested in the free.
Oh, I could do it now.
I could totally do it.
There's been corporations that have reached.
Oh, yeah.
They'll make the Hassan Gatorade.
They want, no, not Gatorade, but I did.
Hassan Prime.
Yeah, there was for the longest time.
There was, what's the, I think it's Factor?
Like one of those like pre-cooked meals.
Yeah, they wanted to do a collab.
You not collab with anyone?
I very, rarely do.
He only does like video game sponsors.
Pretty much.
Very good.
Yeah, I usually dollar.
The only sponsor I was actually going to do that I was like kind of stoked on, your boyfriend took Crocs.
He does.
Yeah, but he rests.
He sent these to me.
Oh, you're right.
Which ones?
And the saga.
Ludwig got the freaking.
I'm not even going to show it, actually.
I shouldn't even show it.
Those assholes.
Yeah, I was supposed to do this, like, be like a brand ambassador, this whole thing.
And they just went quiet after a while.
And I kept hitting on my manager.
I was like, what the fuck's going on with this Croc shit?
What's happening?
And apparently it was like, this is how it always works.
Usually there's like a fan in the marketing team that like really pushes for me.
And then when it goes up to the higher level execs and they Google me and the first thing they see is like America deserve 9-11.
And they're like, what the fuck are you doing?
You can't work with this fucking guy.
Yeah.
You could have like some Twin Towers Crocs.
Yeah, that's definitely why each Croc is a tower.
It would actually sell really well.
And think about all the little gibbets.
The gibbets could be the planes.
Yeah.
That's a million dollar idea right there.
See, there you go.
Crocs, hit my line.
I'm still down to do it.
All right, show this TikTok.
This shit is bananas, okay?
A-N-A-N-A-S.
It's like, it's very, it frustrated me watching this.
My friends, this is a pumpkin swirl frozen coffee.
Who the f thought it was a good idea?
And this is like on the menu because it has 185 grams of sugar in here.
How much is it?
185 grams.
She's gonna show it's 46 teaspoons of sugar.
To give you another perspective, the amount of sugar in there is equal to 14 glazed donuts.
I would much rather eat the donuts.
There's no pumpkin in here.
It's artificial flavors.
There's 12 mentions of sugar and high fricks.
Is he in the Dunkin' Donuts?
There's 930 calories.
That's the part where you're 9v4.
930 calories.
Holy shit.
That is literally for the average male Americans diet is like 2,000 calories.
Yeah, that's crazy.
But this is going to sell so well because of the everybody's.
I wonder if we're going to work hard.
Two-thirds of us are already type 2 diabetic or fucking.
This is going to become the new one chip challenge.
They're going to be like, how many of these can you drink before you die?
Yeah, literally.
I just like...
910 calories.
I don't know.
This is the type of marketing work.
This is like, you give this dude like a French adult and they die immediately.
They drink that and they're dead.
They parish.
That is the diabetes pack for sure.
Because like, I, oh, God, it's so.
It's like frustrating because it has no dietary fiber in it even.
It's supposed to have like crumpled up, crushed donuts or something.
This is like really what stirs your soup, palm, grinds your gears, keeps you up at night.
It's just like, it was very funny.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
When I found out about it, it pissed me off.
I'm really supposed to.
There's so many better ways to consume nine.
God gives his toughest battles to his children.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm the Mujahideen for calories.
Exactly.
Anyway, 10 donuts into the drink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that sounds good.
But no one's getting that thinking like, God, this is my green juice of the day.
I think everyone knows it's that type 2 diabetes.
No, I think it should be illegal.
Like, I literally think that the marketing executive that came up with that shit.
He's trying to control us.
Marketing Executive Should Go To Jail00:02:19
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
That person should go to jail.
Dunkin' Donuts Ice Wise drink is the new fentanyl.
Spread the word.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I mean, it'll just won't be as quick, but.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're definitely, I mean, obesity is a big problem.
I'm just saying.
You know, think about that.
All right.
On that note, we're going to talk about even more stuff behind the paywall because I think we're at that time now.
Oh, shit.
Do I get a cut?
No.
Yeah.
No, not at all.
But if you want to check that out, you need to go to patreon.com slash fear.
And we have all the new updates, right, March?
Yes.
Yeah, we have all the bells and whistles.
We have a lot of shit.
Thanks to Cutie and me.
No.
I guess you record one thing.
I don't give a shit.
I don't give a shit for it.
Yeah.
Tana, is there anything you want to do?
I'm like vaping right now.
It's horrible.
I appreciate you guys having me on.
I'm on tour right now.
We'll be releasing new dates soon that will be available.
Woo-hoo!
Get into the canceled podcast if you're part of the 4% audience over here that might enjoy the things we talk about.
Wait, really?
This is 4% men?
No, I was saying the 4% of...
What's your audience?
Oh, 30 women?
He has a higher female audience than I do.
Wow.
Isn't that funny?
That's kind of crazy.
Because he does more like broad talking.
And I started to get a lot of people.
I'm starting here for the women.
I'm just, you know, it was nice to meet all of you guys.
And I just want to talk about it.
Such a pleasure.
Thank you for having me.
Such a pleasure, Tana.
All right.
We'll see you on the other side.
See you on the other side.
Do you know who Ludwig is?
No.
No, she doesn't know.
She doesn't know any of this stuff.
She's running my boyfriend.
I wonder if you think he's cute.
Yeah, I wonder if you think he's a jock, too.
It's so funny because we're in such a similar world with such a different thing.
I know.
We're like, yeah, but doesn't that give you a sense of like...
It's like Lord of the Rings and like some of us in the Shire and some of us are in Rivendell.
Go back.
Go back to that photo.
That photo is so funny because he was wearing a romper.
Wait, where'd it go?
A romper.
He was wearing a romper from Target.
How long have you guys been together?
You can see his wiener, so he had to put shorts over it.
The wiener fanny lands.
Incredible.
I'm not gonna lie.
How long you guys been together for?
You think you're gonna marry him?
Do you believe in traditional concepts of marriage?