Will Neff and Austin Lee dissect travel safety in Los Angeles, debating self-defense tools after a near-ramming incident involving a Black couple. They critique viral content regarding female objectification, mourn Jimmy Buffett's death, and analyze the Jacksepticeye versus MrBeast feud over YouTube's commercialization. The duo also addresses wealth accumulation ethics, mocks the Streamies awards, and teases their upcoming "Name Your Prize" tour cast while discussing Ozempic risks and body measurement challenges on Patreon. Ultimately, the episode blends personal anecdotes with sharp cultural commentary on modern internet fame and societal issues. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Cutie Never Stays00:01:39
Are we recording?
We'll measure.
Okay, we're recording.
All right.
Cutie, what the hell is going on?
I'm working.
She's working.
She's always working.
Cutie never stops working.
Cutie every week comes in last, even though she's not even as far from our place any longer.
Austin Lee.
Wait, that is true.
Yeah, I fly in every time I chop her in to the podcast.
This is not even a joke.
Land in the front yard of Hassan's mansion.
Are you staying here?
Yeah, I'm staying here.
Oh.
Not in this house.
He's lying.
No, I'm not staying at the house.
No.
Oh, wow.
I thought you were.
Well, I'm sorry if he had water that worked.
Oh.
Austin, we have water that works, man.
It's just you don't work.
No, Hassan.
The water works.
You don't work.
We establish that.
You know what?
Next, you know, look, have you ever bathed in a drinking fountain?
Last?
That's the water pressure of three episodes ago.
Wow.
We established that you are fraudulent.
Okay, no.
That you were aware.
Couldn't get the temperature right.
Well, now you're aware.
Now you're aware.
You can stay, but like, I've also, I have disinvited you.
Oh, you're not allowed to do it.
Your open invitation.
Yeah.
Next time you come in, your door codes are probably not going to work.
No, no, no.
Look, Hassan, I appreciate you every time you let me stay at your house.
Yeah.
No, you don't.
I do.
I do.
Does he appreciate me every time?
I don't think so.
I don't know.
I think that's why he stays at a hotel the next time is because the service was so bad here.
The service.
See, Cutie won't even stay here.
She and I are aligned.
We're a team.
We're a team.
Yeah, why would she stay here?
I would stay here.
It's because she doesn't live in Washington.
You hate women and homosexuals.
De-escalating the Taser Situation00:15:12
Yeah.
And we've wanted to have a sleepover and you won't let us have it.
That's not true.
I said that works for me because if I ever have a style meltdown, I want a permanent bedroom here.
Oh, that would be fun.
Speaking of permanent bedrooms, Cutie came in and immediately was like, we're gutting one of your rooms.
I was like, okay, I guess.
They don't like the set, guys.
Sorry.
Oh, do not.
You fraudulent bitch.
They don't like the room.
We were all like, yeah, we'll rent a place.
We'll get a studio.
And Hassan was like, oh, I can't even drive two seconds to go.
No, no, I think.
That's why we're building it in your house because you're literally a camel and we can't take you to water.
Okay, to be fair.
To be fair.
Okay, that's it.
I like that he's a camel.
Culturally insensitive of you.
You are Turkish.
You are Turkish.
He's culturally insensitive.
That's number one.
God.
My people have been compared to camels for far too long.
Oh, Jesus.
No, all jokes aside.
It's just like, if we were to get a studio that we would rent out, it would be incredibly expensive.
It would literally not be, it would literally not be here.
It would be like East LA, easy.
So that would be an issue.
It's also very dangerous for us.
Why?
We're so pretty.
We're pretty.
People might hurt us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
East LA is already massively gentrified, but even before then, that's a ridiculous statement.
I was on a walk this morning, and have you guys seen my taser?
It's like a little ducky.
You have a taser?
Yeah.
It's Ali Thus.
She makes the most amazing self-defense roman and it's a little duck.
Look it up.
Look it up.
Let's pull it up.
I want to see this.
Yeah.
I'm on a walk.
I'm walking.
I go to this smoothie place every morning and I'm in there and it's run by this amazing Asian woman, but she has the thickest accent and she's pointing at my taser like, what is that?
What is that?
What is that?
And I'm like, taser.
And then I show her my taser and she's, don't use that.
I was like, okay, okay, I won't.
I won't.
As if you were going to taste her.
I was going to tase her.
Wait, what the fuck?
There's so much more tiny protectors.
Is that like a gun on a gaming chair?
Yeah, she's she's amazing.
The duck is sold out.
She does drops, but those like the keychains are little stabby things.
Like the bat is a taser.
You take off the thing.
Wait, really?
The keychain is a little stabby thing?
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
Have you been able to get a bunch of people?
Show me.
Can you get through an appointment with one of these?
I guarantee TSA is not catching up.
I can.
Those are like, yeah, safety alarms.
These, the little beetle, you put it around your knuckles so you can stab in the cherry.
Oh, that?
There's no way it's insane.
Yeah, I've gotten those.
That is insane.
That's like that's a weapon.
That's not even self-defense.
That's self-offense.
Yeah, it's really cool.
But I was really proud of it.
I was proud of myself.
Can you go back?
There was a gaming chair.
Is that also self-defense?
That's a self-defense gaming chair.
No.
She's just got into design.
She started with self-defense, but then she's a cute chair.
She's just an amazing designer.
I thought there was like turrets or something.
There's razor blades under the pillow.
She's very talented.
I actually have a taser-based story that I think you guys will like.
Oh, I love it.
What happened recently?
Oh.
So I was in bed.
I knew it was sexual.
Nope.
Nope.
Getting ready to do a Donna performance the next day for Astra Emily.
And so I was in bed early.
This was like last week.
Yeah.
Oh, this is like last week.
I was going to tell this story anyway.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Taser's on the brain.
So intense.
So Caroline are in bed at like one o'clock, which is early for us.
And we just hear someone laying on the horn outside of our apartment.
We're like, what the hell is going on?
And we hear screaming.
Caroline is like, I got to go see what that is.
Okay, that's right off the bat.
Insane.
That is completely.
I love her.
Why would she do that?
Because it was like, we were at like five minutes of horn at this point.
Even then, I'd be like, I just wanted to see.
Hassan would go back to bed.
She just wanted to see.
Yeah, I don't wake up for nothing.
So Caroline puts on a robe.
She goes out on our front deck.
And I hear like, oh, Will.
So I throw on silk pajamas and I grab my stun gun, which has a laser and a flashlight on it.
And it has gas.
Oh, it's the one that has one of those.
It's the one that cops use.
It like puts barbs in you.
Yeah.
And it goes, yeah.
Damn.
So I would totally as I go outside.
There is a car behind another car and it's ramming this car.
Oh, that's how.
And then it just lays on the gas and it tries to push this car.
This car is a crazy like 40-year-old white dude.
And this car is a young black couple.
And they have no idea why this is happening.
They're like, what the fuck is going on?
So they get out of their car to be like, what is happening?
They get out of the car.
This guy tries to kill them.
Does like 30 miles per hour.
Super casual.
Tries to hit the guy, misses the guy, bursts 30 miles per hour, tries to run over the girl, flies into the...
Oh, Caroline tweeted about this.
Yeah.
Flies into the shrub hedge by our building, then throws it and drive, tries to hit her again, reverse.
And at that moment, how was the girl?
Will that have sprung into action?
I sprung into action for sure.
I assessed the situation.
You're like, I got a taser.
Got to use this.
I want Will there.
Me too.
So I leapt up on the balcony of my deck and I put the laser beam on his forehead with a flashlight.
And he didn't know that it was a stun gun.
He thought it was a gun.
And I was like, turn off your car, motherfucker.
Yeah.
And this dude took his hands off the wheel.
And like, the, the guy, the couple is like now smashing on his window because it's like insane.
And I was like, get inside, guys.
It's not worth it.
You didn't want to tell him this is not really a big deal.
There is nothing I can do in that situation.
But I'm like, get inside, get inside.
So I pull them inside and then the dude floors it.
Like he just speeds off.
And Caroline's like, where did you get a gun?
And I was like, it's the stun gun.
She's like, what's wrong with you?
Oh, my God.
But I saved the day.
The LAPD showed up.
The night crawler unit, all the guys with like cameras to look for a dead body pulled up.
Oh, my God.
They didn't do anything.
They didn't do anything.
Which is awesome.
The LAPD chief that was there was a female and she kept being like, but there were no victims, right?
And I was like, this guy tried to kill them.
And she was like, but he, there are no victims, right?
And I was like, smashed their car and then tried to vehicular manslaughter.
And she's like, right.
Like, she was trying to like de-escalate it.
Dude, I love, I love that it's like, you know, attempted manslaughter, attempted vehicular manslaughter is not that bad in the eyes of the Los Angeles Police Department where they're just like, ah, fuck it.
Well, I'll tell you this.
One thing I've done.
$8 million a day.
Just want to point that out.
No politics on the podcast, but they do cost us.
They're funded better than most militaries across the world.
Yes, that is true.
The one thing I have to do is...
They've used a lot of their money to swap me.
Yeah.
All the budget is going to swatting CUNY Cinderella.
We don't know how to stop.
The real victim in the situation, though, was Caroline.
Or the people who almost got racially manslaughtered.
That dude, but I have been insufferable around the house ever since I was your protector.
Yeah.
Like literally everything.
I'm being like, hero coming through.
You know, usually I only save one person at a time, but I was feeling pretty spry.
I'll be honest with you.
I think I would have fired the shot.
It's a taser.
He can't shoot through the windshield, dog.
It's a taser.
Oh, I would have, I would have, I, well, that's probably why.
Well, once he busted that note, the guy would have been like, oh, no, I'm going to continue with my racial hate crime.
Did you think it was like a good dummy?
Like, did you think he would think it was a good gun?
Does it look like a real gun?
Well, dude, all he was seeing was it has a flashlight.
So there's flashlight on his face and a laser in the middle of his forehead.
Jesus Christ.
That's crazy.
To be like, wake up, dude.
Dead to rights.
That's weird.
That's insane.
What would your backup plan have been?
It would have been really funny if the LAPD arrested you for attempted murder.
No, they kept asking me.
They're like, where's the gun?
I was like, it's not a gun.
It's a taser.
Yeah, of course.
They're looking for something to, they just need a shit out of you.
Get down.
But it was.
Keep resisting.
It was fucked up and I felt very bad for this.
So what did the couple say?
The young woman was very traumatized.
Oh my God.
She wasn't saying much of anything.
And the dude was just like, dude, thank you so much.
We're around, you know, hundreds of people here, and you're the only person who came out to help us.
That is wild.
That is so wild.
And they didn't cut this guy off or anything.
He just started, dude, LA.
Yeah, LAPD, very good at finding cars as well.
Even when you find it yourself, they're very good at taking the car back.
He needs a dark night.
They really.
He really deserves a better class of hero.
Yeah.
Dude, it's just, it's so, so, so incredibly ridiculous.
Well, you know, they got to quit defunding the police.
Isn't that right, Kitty?
Yeah, I know.
That's, that's what it is.
Why are you asking cutie for that?
We're on the same team today.
Really?
Was that established?
No, it's not.
I don't know what it means.
I was obviously kidding for those of you who are taking that seriously.
We're not defunding the police.
They're very well funding.
They're going to be $8 million a day, which is way too much.
So that's crazy.
I think I'd get hit by the car on accident.
I don't think I could dodge it.
Oh, how are they dodging?
I would have dodged it.
She was literally like sidestepping it and clearing it by like that much.
That's insane.
I think I would like jump on top of my own car to try to not get hit.
Yeah.
But then he would just barrel into your own car.
It's also like so fast.
You can't believe like how quickly those things are happening.
It's so crazy.
I wouldn't be able to react quick enough.
Was he bald?
No, he was like a four-year-old guy with hair, but he was just like stark raving mad.
He was insane.
This was over a parking spot.
He's trying to kill them.
Oh, it was because they parked in his spot?
Apparently.
Jesus.
Austin's like, I've been there.
No.
So do you think that guy lives at the moment?
I don't think he lives at our building.
I think he lives on the road.
Oh, we're going to find him.
Yeah, cutie nerds.
Now I'm going to use my duck taser.
Yeah.
I'm going to use my dash.
I'm going to use my bear spray.
We're going to get him.
I have bear spray and she's got a duck taser.
He stands no chance.
This guy's duck tour.
Yeah.
Cutie syndrome.
Two paranoid hypochondriacs.
Yeah.
It's a great shot.
Oh, it's tickle him.
Two paranoid to hypochondriacs.
You hate it.
Cutie and I. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy that one.
Investigate crime.
That's a crazy story.
What did Caroline tweet about it?
She tweeted basically that she was really upset that the LAPD didn't do anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
LAPD with a callous indifference.
Like, ah, it's just attempted manslaughter.
It's fine.
She said that the funniest part, though, is like, I don't know if you guys know this, you probably know this.
My hero in life is Patrick Swayze, big Patrick Swayze guy.
Oh, really?
I didn't know that.
Big Patrick Swayze guy.
And she was like, she was like, you were there in silk pajamas with basically your cock out, standing on an elevated balcony, holding a gun, as I thought, with like long, floppy hair and just screaming.
And she's like, that was the closest you'll ever be to Spotify.
I'll be honest, that would be your superhero.
Just a cockman.
And your cock would have nothing to do with fighting crime, but your costume would just have your cock out.
There you go.
And there it is.
That's a bingo.
Austin is back at it again.
Talking about the dicks.
No more dicks.
I actually have some.
I want to talk about boobs today.
Oh, my God.
I want to talk about boobs.
Look at that kid.
No, I'm not talking.
I'm not talking about cocks today.
I want to say something yesterday.
I went to, I don't know where the fuck I was.
I was walking around.
And look, I don't, I'm not attracted to boobs.
It's not my thing.
You're a gay man.
I'm a gay man, but I will tell you something.
He thinks all tits look the same.
No, no, no.
Let me tell you something.
Respectfully speaking, I want to say this respectfully.
Sometimes boobs are on display and I don't know what it is.
It's like they have like a chakra or something like that.
Like I am attracted to looking at them.
Can I show you something?
Yeah.
Okay.
There is a ginger Scottish woman with bazookas.
And I want Will's Will's opinion on this as well.
I think Susu posted about her.
Look at Susu's Instagram.
Yeah, you got my attention.
Yeah, that's like, that's double the tits for you.
There you go.
But it's like.
Find Susu's Instagram.
Finish your thought.
Look, it's not even an attraction thing, but like sometimes I'll see them and they will be just putting on a performance.
Let me tell you something.
They are a marvel of human beings.
I have developed neck muscles.
Being a boob-first ADHD young man, they have a magnetic pull.
And I have to sometimes look around a room to remain respectful.
That's what I'm saying because they are very...
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
No, find the action.
They are so intriguing to me.
And it's not, there's no sexual attraction.
Jesus.
Oh, don't look at.
Don't look at Shield.
Shield thine eyes, heathen.
You are not ready.
Okay, now go down.
Oh, my lord.
This is all she does.
She's so wet all the time.
Okay.
Just click on any one of the wet ones.
Can I show these?
No, in the car.
Wet ones in the car.
Yeah, that one.
That one's perfect.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Oh, my lord.
Oh, you showed that.
You can show that.
You show that?
My lord.
See, there's no, this does nothing for me, but I can't help but look.
It's like watching.
So I wanted to bring this to William Eber Savage Neftathird's attention because, like, I'm shocked that he hasn't even seen it.
Shakes my bone marrow.
So this like went viral on Twitter.
One of those exact same videos, not that one.
Went viral on.
Is she pretending that the rain has done this?
Yeah.
She always.
This is her entire thing.
Yeah.
I've only been outside for somebody.
The top comment is, for one, I had no idea that it rains baby oil in the United States.
I was about to say, this bitch fraudulent as hell.
Yeah, okay.
Water?
That's baby oil.
Okay, now, no, no, put the sound on.
I want to hear, I want to hear her voice.
I've got to go to a job interview like this.
Oh, suck.
I've only been outside for two minutes and I am drenched.
Oh, that is awesome.
You know what?
You know what?
I'm going to defeat the patriarchy today.
Maybe she was on her way to a job interview.
She wasn't.
No, she was on her way to a job interview for CEO.
That's right, baby.
Feminism.
Of her own coming.
Look, I think that is.
Beauty!
You're setting women back, dude.
Yeah, no, I think that is nothing more empowering.
Say it.
Say it.
It's natural.
Baby Oil and Job Interviews00:07:27
And it's beautiful.
Say it.
It is natural and it is beautiful and perfectly normal, natural, beautiful.
You know, this is what God intended.
When Hugh Hefner, Hugh Hefner, who created Playboy, said that he created Playboy to liberate women.
I'm wheezing today, dude.
You know, and it is.
I think she is her own CEO.
And I think, yes, bitch, you get that bag.
Yeah, she's the CEO about it.
She's the CEO of Getting Drenched with her milkers out.
When you think about it, when you think about it, per weight, is Titty the most valuable resource on the planet next to like no.
No heart aren't hearts.
Wow.
Don't love actually donate.
Like if you killed a man and you took his heart, you could get more money for it.
I thought you meant like killing in the organ trade on the black market.
Yeah, breasts, sir.
There's a lot.
They all look the same.
That is insane.
Okay, pull Redhead back up.
That's a different zip code of kitties, Austin.
Look at that.
That's not even in the same country.
First me, that looks the same.
Natural and beautiful.
You don't have oil on your boobs right now.
Natural and beautiful.
It's not raining.
You are.
Dude, when she gets in the car, she throws her whole fucking.
She does.
She's trying to get some water bed out of her.
There's torque on those bad boys.
You know what I mean?
There's gravitational pull.
To wrap this up, I just want to make a comment that breasts sometimes they're out there putting on a show and I can't help but look.
And I'm not even attracted to it.
That's normal.
Is that normal?
Do you look at boobs too?
Yes.
I think there's a I have a certain level of respect.
I think there's a genetic imperative there.
It's like a it's like a genetic.
Well, you ate there.
It was your favorite restaurant for many years.
Yeah.
It helped you grow.
So you think like when I see boobs, it's like, oh, I'm hungry.
You go, that mama.
Ma ma.
I got a mama.
I think it's just a font of life.
Oh, I'm hungry.
So you say, mommy milky.
Anyway.
Do you get hungry when you see breasts?
Oh, I get hungry.
I get a hunger.
Cutie, what do you think?
Do you think that, how is she making?
I'm concerned about how she's making money off that.
Does she have an OnlyFans at least?
Because Instagram's not going to make her enough money.
Cutie, we shouldn't check that car.
She has 4 million.
She has 4 million on TikTok.
She's probably getting brand deals on TikTok.
She's better than making bank, dude.
You know, it's funny because one meme of being a child.
She's running a flashback.
What's a labor?
What are you doing right now?
What's happening?
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
Harsh is like clicking on the OnlyFans link.
She's running a Labor Day, so we should support her.
Good.
Yeah, those kitties.
I'm happy she's got that.
She's unironically doing more labor than most desk jockeys because, like, think about it.
Them shits, you got to carry those around.
That is backbreaking labor.
Do boobs hurt?
Yeah.
And I have small ones.
You do not.
You have beautiful natural breasts.
Why are you lying?
Austin, I am a B. I'm a B cup.
I can't.
B for buxom.
Think of how big the alphabet is.
I think your boobs are great.
Is that weird to say?
I'm going to kill myself.
Okay.
You're going to make it.
I should probably cut that on the podcast.
No, it's fine.
No, Austin.
No, it's fine.
It's just funny that you don't know what the fuck to say.
I keep because this is the dilemma.
You know what?
This is a dilemma that not just gay men face.
Gay men face.
You know, when you want to tell your heterosexual friend she looks nice, it's you could say your penis is small, and I wouldn't be like, no, it's not.
It's simply to be like your boobs look nice.
No, is this measuring tape smaller than this pen?
Yes.
Okay, then it's just a fact.
My boobs are smaller than hers.
Well, no, I just think they're there.
I don't think that's a fun comparison.
I think that's right.
What, like, oh, no, no, no.
Hold on.
I know we want to move away from this desperately, but I need to understand what you're trying to say.
So, like, so in your mind, you're like, are you saying like we should lie?
My boobs bigger, better.
No one said that.
I didn't say it was.
I didn't say, are her boobs better than that?
Yeah, no one said that.
I'm pointing that out, by the way.
Yeah, what the fuck?
I said they are bigger than mine.
They are bigger than you.
Mine are a perfect handful.
Hers would take some workout.
High five, cutie.
Natural and beautiful.
Natural, beautiful, beautiful breasts.
I'm just going to kill myself.
Okay, why?
How are you the gay man and you are way creepier on the titty thing than we are right now?
Kitty, ready?
Measurements.
Got you.
Mine off the top of my head.
I bet I'm the only person who can do this.
Jacket, 42 regular.
Oh, I need your, I know, I need your chest.
Yeah, so that's the problem.
I know my chest.
I know my suit sizes too.
Oh, you know your suit size?
Yes.
44 extra, extra long with the arms.
Yeah, because my arms are unfortunately very fucking.
Michael Phelps over there.
Yeah, it's really freakish and it shocks tailors all around the world.
Waist is a 37 by 34 in seam.
Shoe size is 13.
Yep.
Shirt size is 17 and a half extra extra long once again, the arms.
And that's it.
I think I got everything.
Excellent.
That's why I said 17.
I think we should measure this on the Patreon.
I'm going to measure you guys on the Patreon.
We're going to measure each other on the Patreon our body sizes.
Okay.
Yeah.
What else are we measuring?
I bet Austin doesn't even know his jacket size.
No, I don't.
Yeah.
I'm a medium.
I am a refined gentleman.
Of course I know.
I can even.
He's probably the most basic.
I bet he's a 39 regular.
He is whatever the most average size is.
Oh, you want to be.
What do you mean?
That's not a bad thing.
You fit into everything.
You are built.
No, you are designed.
You are designed perfectly like a mannequin.
Okay.
I'm saying that as nicely as I can.
An old Navy mannequin.
Yeah.
Old Navy mannequin.
Yeah, not like a sexy.
He's like an American Eagle or something.
What?
No.
They don't have abs.
Do they even have?
Navy ones have abs.
Okay.
I'll take that.
I'll take that.
By the way, current events.
I think we should cover this quickly.
We lost a legend this week.
Yes.
Jimmy motherfucking Buffett, baby.
He's up there in Marguerite in the sky.
It's always sad.
It's fucking sad.
Got it.
75, surrounded by friends, family, dogs.
That's what he said.
He's always sad.
He's a good dude.
What'd he die of?
Sensitive.
I don't know.
Vaccine.
Vaccine.
The vaccine.
Vaccine.
Well, he definitely didn't get those shots.
No, he probably did.
What do you mean?
He's like, he's like, oh, he is kind of liberal.
Yeah, he's like an old billionaire lib guy.
100%.
Most billionaires are liberal, which is a bummer.
Yeah.
No vaccine for that one.
Let me tell you.
Oh, my gosh.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
Where sunscreen.
Yeah, where sunscreen.
When I see that, when someone passes away at like 76, that's rough.
And they've lived like a wonderful life.
Like, this guy lived.
Okay.
He did it all.
He came.
Ozempic vs Thyroid Tumors00:13:27
He popped off at a time when you could build an entire franchise off of one hit song, which he literally did.
And he had a restaurant.
He still does.
Multiple households.
He has hotels.
A casino.
I didn't know that.
God damn.
Where?
All around the country.
Ted Niverson and Eddie Burback went to every single Margarita Ville in the United States of America and also in Canada.
This is why I know so much about Jimmy Buffett.
I had no idea who the fuck he was before this.
Poor Ted.
Ted's probably sad.
Any other current events you guys want to get into?
I have, well, we just did the Reconstruct Ideology Collab pop-up shop.
I was a little worried that it was going to either be dead.
No one was going to show up because we had to move it back one week or that it was going to be too much and too hectic and swatting and bomb calls and all that.
So I was like very deliberately not promoting it too much.
It was low-key.
Like I did it.
They email blasted it to everyone who's like on the email listing for the ideology website.
And I like kind of briefly mentioned it a couple times on stream, but I didn't really do like a full-blown promotion on it at all, especially not on Twitter where all the psychos are.
And then it, and it was great.
It was great.
It's a perfect size.
Yeah.
I am like your target demographics, Hassan super fan.
And I didn't know about it.
I had to like research.
It was very ambiguous.
I didn't know about it.
Yeah.
And I'm your best friend.
Yeah.
A lot of us didn't know.
I put it in the group chat.
My mama was.
My mama's in town.
I didn't want to go.
I begrudgingly showed up.
You didn't.
He wanted to meet everyone.
Yeah.
As everyone knows.
You love fans more than Austin called me afterwards because I had to do a meeting with the merch team as well immediately after because I am never available.
And, you know, as you guys know.
So they were like, we have you here.
We have to seat you down for 35 minutes of your time and like talk through what we're doing for you know Q1, Q2, whatever.
And while I was doing that, I had to go upstairs and then come back down to talk to the fans or whatever.
Austin was the man, the perfect man to leave there unattended.
He left me.
He didn't even tell me.
He just like he threw me in to a sea of fans.
He threw me into a sea of fans that and I threw it down.
No, he calls me after.
He's like, where did you go?
I mean, I can't believe you left me there with a sea of adoring fans that I had to talk to for hours and take photos.
I gave away a lot of your t-shirts.
No, that's great.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Gave away a lot.
Is that what you're supposed to do?
I don't know.
I told everybody.
I told everybody.
It's a pop-up shop.
I told everybody I said theft is encouraged.
Wow.
I don't care.
I like it.
Did you buy, did you sell a lot of shirts?
I have no idea.
Oh.
I don't care.
How is that weird?
I didn't want to.
No, it has nothing to do with that.
It has nothing to do with that.
The way I see apparel merchandising is specifically something that people want.
That's why my margins are like dog water in comparison to anyone else.
But I don't care.
Merch company loves you.
I want to.
Well, they do actually, because they still get a cut.
I don't give a cut.
Yeah, they don't.
They get their cut.
I'm talking about my margins in particular.
Oh, that's the end of it.
Yeah, um and uh ultimately, I don't really care about uh the, the amount of money that it generates.
I care that, like people like it, that is a good quality Hasanabi fans very dripped out a lot of times.
I believe it.
Yeah, very tult, we're gonna have Tana on an episode someday.
I kind of want to ask her to give me a makeover.
Really, we can do that.
She's the one who reached out to me.
She could give me such a good makeup to be on our podcast.
Yeah, she was like, I still want to make sure you get the.
I'm over it.
Girls too.
Yes yes yep, the what i've had it.
Yeah, what is that?
Oh, i've had it.
Yeah, I know they're awesome.
We need to get them on.
Yeah, someone should in contact also.
I reached out and then I kind of connected them and then I I, I did that as well.
We're gonna have a set soon.
No, it's not your fault.
I, I also threw the layup to someone.
Uh, the Obamas have not returned my staring at Marsh.
This is really awkward for all of us.
March is just.
There's a lot of contention.
Marge is just going uh uh yeah like, like he's, he's trying to do that thing where he's.
Like i'm in a tunnel and I can't hear you anymore.
In doubt, blame Austin, but he's next to me.
Okay, that's Austin.
I can't believe you didn't keep up with him.
I I lost.
Uh, nobody connected.
For who?
Nobody connected me.
I don't know with what.
No she's, it's your fault.
I can't, god damn it.
I need Austin.
Look, I lost Michelle Obama.
We really were getting close with that one.
What, oh no, I need someone to.
I need someone to challenge.
I need, like a bet.
I need a bet so I can work out.
I have no motivation to work out and none of my clothes are fitting and i'm cutie dude.
Yes, how?
Yes, body off, body off.
How do we do that?
I'll tell you, just gonna get naked.
You said no no no no, i'll tell you.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you, uh-huh, set a date?
Uh-huh okay, we sit you on top of an old washing machine and then everything that jiggles, we draw a sharpie over that's, that's old sorority.
Oh, my god, i've never heard that in my life.
That's some eating disorder, this straight eating disorder.
This is what I did to work out, to get motivated.
Wait, Will was talking you asshole.
Hey yourself, so sorry Will I?
Well, San interrupted you first and then I forgot.
Yes, i'm interrupted frequently, i'm so sorry, i'm just.
No, it's beautiful natural, like, yeah, set a date on the calendar uh, three of us all have to appear somewhere, basically shirtless.
You can obviously wear the boob coverings for the calendar, for the calendar shoot, for the calendar, but but we make it a competition where people votes on whose body looks the most.
No, that's terrible.
Yes no no no, no.
We can't do that.
We can't do that.
We can't.
Why don't you guys already have better?
You guys are already more?
No, that's not true, i'm not.
And also, Cutie will literally die if that's the case.
We can't do that, I will.
She will die leading up to the event.
Here's the other thing, i'll just stop eating kitty, kitty.
That's why I said unlimited Guest passes at my gym.
Uh-huh.
I'm working out with famous gay porn stars recently.
Yeah.
Famous gay Hasanabi heads.
Yes.
To be the champagne.
But Austin Show fans at first.
But is that the case?
They just, they don't get as much meat.
Well, anyway, I have unlimited guest passes.
Come with me every day.
I'll turn you into a fucking machine.
He's going to murder you.
I'll turn you into a freak.
I'm like tired.
In the mornings, if you can work out in the mornings, you can train with my trainers.
I usually will work out around 2 p.m.
I work out around 8 a.m.
Can I tell you to him?
I'm going to load you full of pre-workout.
I'm going to put you on a booty boot camp.
Bro, her anxiety.
I'm going to turn you into a freak.
I'm going to have you looking like a Kardashian.
You can't have her take pre-work.
Booty boot camp.
She's already hyperchondriac, incredibly anxious.
Now your skin is itching.
Yeah, you'll know that you have to lift weights.
The first time she starts feeling the burn from like, is it L-carnitine?
I don't know.
The first time she has that face burn and the nerve tingle, she's going to be like, oh, I'm dying.
I'll have to go to a hospital.
Kitty, you give me two months.
I'm going to turn you into a CrossFit athlete.
Booty boot camp's kind of scary.
Don't do it.
Wrong booty boot camp.
What?
Booty boot camp.
Oh.
Anyway, that's all.
I'm trying to do 10K steps.
What are the areas that you want to improve?
I would like to lose 20 pounds.
From what?
Kitty.
My tummy.
There's no 20 pounds.
You don't have 20 pounds to lose.
Yeah, I do.
I gained 20 pounds with COVID.
It doesn't matter.
There's no, where is the 20 pounds coming from?
My tummy.
There's not 20 pounds in your Twummy to lose, Twummy.
Do you guys know how much money I've made off of my Ozempic stock?
That's where the eating disorder girly's thrived.
We saw that and we were like, it's going crazy.
A lot of my friends are on Ozempic.
Is it working?
Yeah.
It's actually a terrifying prospect.
One, because it might have actual, it does have links to thyroid cancer potentially.
It has live it'll kill you.
Okay, that's number one.
Dude, I am the king of eating disorder information.
Okay, let me tell you something.
Trigger warning, everybody.
Trigger warning.
Ozempic is actually seen, it's hailed as like a miracle drug for weight loss.
The thing is, it is a major appetite suppressant.
The other one is, what is it, a goe or something?
Beth.
The other one, it's just two.
Yeah, it's like go away.
It's like goee.
Yeah, well, regardless, originally, I think it's like utilized for people who are diabetic.
Now it is, I think it's FDA approved for weight loss.
It's actually being hailed as a miracle.
It's hailed as a miracle drug.
The problem is this.
It is an appetite suppressant.
It will stop you from eating, which is the quickest way to lose weight, okay, when you're not hungry ever and you just kind of designer out.
You only eat to survive.
However, okay.
However, a major issue.
Give her this later.
However, a major issue with Ozempic is that when you are done or when you, let's say there's a shortage or something and you can't take it, your appetite quadruples when you're off of it.
So you have to take it permanently for the rest of your life.
Really?
And if you don't take it permanently for the rest of your life and you're off of it, your weight doesn't just yo-yo.
You literally eat so much more that you end up gaining a tremendous amount of weight.
How do you know this?
Because I've watched two videos on how Ozempe looks felt.
Yeah, no, you'll keep it a buck.
They look great.
There's another issue with it as well because people were saying, I don't know if this is a meme or not, but it actually is straight up melting fat particles off your face even.
Like your buckle fat even goes away.
Yeah, but which makes you look like heroin chic, which is very hot.
Wait, so could I take this?
Yes.
No, dude, what are you wrong?
What's wrong with you?
I mean, honestly, I could use a cup.
I love how he's like the angel and I'm like the devil.
No, dog.
You can't.
You should not take it.
You don't need any medication.
Dude, Especially at your.
No, you won't.
There's no gaze that are taking.
If you lose your gays are definitely taking this.
Homosexuals in West Holly would have been taking it for years.
You look so gaunt.
Really?
Oh, so gaunt.
Dude, dude, no.
Your cheeks will look like you're on hand.
I was going to say, I bet homosexuals were the test subjects for this.
Yes.
They probably involved.
Wait, how do they know that it's linked to thyroid cancer?
What do you mean?
You can't just release a drug without actually having long-term studies.
Oh, is it?
Has there been long-term studies?
Yeah, not on the thyroid cancer is on animals.
So metabolically speaking, it might be a little different from human beings.
So we don't know yet.
But there is a likelihood.
Okay, thank you.
Can I see?
Will you pull up an Ozempic before and after picture?
I don't even know where he's going.
He had to pee.
No.
I got to pee.
He's leaving the house.
Oh.
I don't know what's happening.
He's bringing us cupcakes.
How exciting.
He's getting me in.
Wait, really?
Right after we talked about fucking Ozempic?
I'm not trying to eat right now.
I don't think he's.
Now we all have eating disorders.
Great.
Okay, so this is how I got fit.
I hired a chef.
Yeah, yeah.
It's great.
It's genuinely a miracle drug.
You want to know why?
Because the quickest way to lose weight is to not eat.
And if you don't eat, you lose weight.
It's magic.
Here's the thing.
When you the thing is.
Oh my God.
It's important.
That is crazy.
It's important not to starve yourself.
Don't even think about it.
Don't even think about it.
Do not even fucking think about it.
It's important not to starve yourself because when you starve yourself, your body actually, you slow your metabolism down.
You don't want to do that.
You want to feed your body small, protein-rich meals throughout the day.
Okay, that's also only marginally improving your resting metabolic rate.
As long as you hit your, as long as, depending on your dietary needs, if you're trying to lose weight, you have to be at a deficit.
If you want to gain weight, you have to be at a...
You have to have a surplus.
Here's the thing.
Here is the thing.
If your dietary needs require you to take in, let's say, you know, 150 grams of protein and like 2,000 calories a day, then as long as you hit that, you're good for the most part.
Calories and calories out.
I'm going to get on Ozempic.
Ozempic helps you definitely.
I don't like the thyroid tumors.
That sucks.
Wait, did you look up the side effect?
You're on the other side of the cycle.
I mean, if you're a hypochondriac anyway, you're probably already going to develop thyroid tumors.
Look at the macros on that.
It's so good.
Why would you say that to me?
No, no.
I don't ease after everyone.
We're the same.
Now that we heard about thyroid cancer, we don't think we have it.
Thyroid C cell tumors.
Most common Ozempic side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, and constipation.
Serious Ozempic side effects include allergic reaction changes and looking great.
Investing in Ugly Airbnbs00:06:59
Yeah.
Ozempic has an FDA box warning for the risk of thyroid C cell tumors.
But everyone should still invest in them.
What?
I don't think that's not financial advice.
That is not trading.
This is not financial advice.
This is not financial advice.
Speaking of financial advice, random.
I thought maybe, should I put a disclaimer before my Karen White Hat Karen segments that this is not like legal advice?
Just say this is entertainment.
I think many people will immediately know that you are not a lawyer.
He's a lawyer.
You never know.
You never know.
Sorry.
I don't think anyone is going to mistake you for a lawyer.
Well, I'm doing White Hat Karen's on the Patreon.
I just, did we upload the first episode?
Wednesday.
Okay, first episode's Wednesday.
Nice.
I did record it.
All the time is on Friday.
Guys, look at us.
Current events.
Yes, we're doing it all.
The Patreon is thriving.
Yeah.
All right.
Thriving.
It's doing so well.
We are recording so many things and uploading so many things.
Speaking of current events, this fucking fly is going to be a lot of people.
Kill it.
Yeah, the reason why there's a lot of flies actually ties into what I was going to say is my parents are here.
And when my parents are here, they leave the doors open all the time, literally nonstop every single day.
And I tell them all the time, please close the doors, please close the doors, please close the doors, to which they say, yeah, sure, we'll definitely close doors.
They never do.
Flies, galore, okay?
They're eating good.
Another thing I wanted to talk about with respect to current events, at least, is that my parents are now officially at the age where they just like tell me things that they read in the news and they want me to like do something about it where they're like, come on, you know.
Earlier today, my dad is like, there's this, this thing.
It's called the Sphinx.
Did you hear about this?
This is like the greatest accomplishment in entertainment.
It's a marvel.
And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about, but I assume, are you talking about the sphere in Vegas?
He's like, no, it's in Los Angeles.
Yeah.
He's like, no, no, no.
It's in Las Vegas.
It's in Los Angeles.
I'm like, okay.
Well, I'm trying to Google it.
And he's like trying to spell it.
And I can't, he's not spelling it correctly.
And I'm like getting flustered and frustrated.
I'm like, dad, I don't think, I think you're talking about the sphere.
He's like, no, no, no, no.
You don't know what you're talking about.
And then he starts being like, the fact that you don't know what this is is alarming to me.
And I'm like, okay.
All right.
Well, whatever.
And then we finally find out I was right.
It's the Las Vegas sphere.
Okay.
And I was like, dad, I knew about this already.
And he's like, well, it's still a big deal.
And you should talk about it.
And I'm like, wait, why is it a big deal?
Have I seen it?
Yeah, but like, why are we mad?
It's not.
It's a big deal for him.
He just thinks.
Wait, is he mad about it?
Oh, he thinks it's cool.
He just thinks it's cool.
I was going to be mad.
Frustrated that I didn't know.
And then my mom's like, you know what?
You really should talk about is this lesbian Turkish volleyball team captain or whatever.
They're currently winning.
I agreed with her.
They're currently winning, and like it's a big controversy and you should tweet about it.
To like it would be a very, it would be very important for you to show sport, which I'm like sure, like that's fine, I could do that.
I'll read into it a little bit more and like now she's pestering me.
She's like, have you tweeted about when are you gonna support the lesbians?
Yeah yeah, your mom's a bigger ally than you are.
Yeah, for sure.
My point, she's going to the Abbey with me later.
No, she's not.
And yeah no, of course not.
We're going clubbing.
I believe him.
Never trust him.
He is a deceptive person.
It is in his nature as a homosexual man and Lebanese.
That's why Lebanese people are deceptive.
No okay, I was just making a joke, all right.
Um anyway, that's where.
That's where I'm at.
I don't know.
I was wondering if you guys have a similar experience with your parents getting through that.
I mean I my no, my dad just wants money really.
And I'm like, yeah dad, you can have it wait, he wants money, but we're broke in a nice way.
How do you mean we're Cutie and I are broke, but broke.
Come out of your bitch ass.
To the Patreon?
Yeah, subscribe to the Patreon, uh no.
And I say he wants money.
My, my dad is very funny.
He's, my Dad is a, he's a very, he's a self-made man.
He came from a freaking farm and he, he owns a landscaping company and he's still out there every day in this hot sun landscaping lands, mowing.
Yeah, he does it all in the winter he plows.
Does he like people?
Uh, I don't think they're his preference.
That's what i'm saying.
There's no way you're out in the farm.
He's a Mormon man.
Yeah, he's very Mormon, so definitely, he's praying for me, for sure he is praying.
He's praying for you and me.
We're on the list at the temple, for sure, but after we die, we're getting converted.
Yeah he'll.
They'll baptize for us, for sure um, but he uh, he's a bit of a landlord too, but he's what do you mean?
A big.
My dad is not a good landlord, is what I have learned dad i'm.
He doesn't watch this dad.
Anyone in my family watches it.
What do you mean?
I thought of the show.
He's a big, awesome show fan.
Yeah, he is notoriously more famous than Cookie Monster.
He, he calls me the other day and he's like, I can't get any bookings on my airbnb and I was like dad, that's because, oh no, he's an airbnb landlord.
That is the worst.
Come on, I know i'm sorry.
I'm sorry um, I thought about starting up an airbnb?
No, don't do that, please don't do that, guys.
I, I it is like the most parasitic, vulturous aspect of of already a parasitic.
Do you think you'd even notice if I was just like hey, I got a friend coming over, they're gonna be there and i'll be there later, and I just never show up and i'm just airbnb notice.
I think I would notice that Airbnb and out there say they're your dates and you walk them in, give them a tour and then leave them like just say we're dating.
Yeah I, I give you a lot of leeway, but I think that would be something that I would not be comfortable with.
We can make a lot of money.
I know sorry, I interrupted.
Um, a lot of people make it seem like like there's a, there's a get quick trick out there.
Yes, if you already have a lot of money, it is very easy to continue making money off of that money.
The entire system is designed in this way.
Uh, I just refuse to do those things and you guys should as well, because you already have a lot of money and you know there's more ethical ways.
I'm opening up a child sweatshop child sweatshop.
That part is fine because the children merch, the children yearn for the mind, yearn for the mind.
Yeah, they need something to do.
These kids, these kids.
When I see their beautiful eyes after they've sewn their hands into a garment and i'm pulling the stitches out, there's real satisfaction.
There they're happy.
You know what I mean.
You can't work there.
No, i'm not working there.
I'm not gonna work there.
I'm gonna work there.
He wants to invest.
I want to invest big, big time.
Um look, i'm.
I'm not a capitalist, but my dad, my dad calls me and I tell him that his airbnb is ugly.
The Mr Beast Debate00:14:59
And then it goes from me telling him his airbnb is ugly to now me redesigning his entire airbnb.
So it can be pretty.
You gotta get some profit off of that.
No, I love him.
Oh, you're so sweet.
I still do his like invoices and contracts for yeah, I know I remember that's insane what you don't remember this?
Yeah wait yes right, you you're not an attorney.
What the hell do you?
You don't have to be an attorney to do invoicing what?
Oh, I thought you said you did contracts.
Yeah well, i'll send his contracts for his cutie.
I need you to do more in my life.
What you want me to redesign your airbnb?
Yeah, i'm gonna need you to step it up and help me with my organization.
Actually yeah, you're right, what the where's our shit?
I tried to decorate your house and you were too difficult of a client.
Okay, first of all uh, you're right about oh wait wait wait, what he was.
I never was told that he was too.
We wanted to make like uh, we wanted to make content out of it and it was a terrible decision.
What happened?
He is annoying.
No, she's quit.
She's quit.
Why did she quit?
Because he's so indecisive.
He's just unresponsive.
No no no, he was just, he was.
He was indecisive and it was farmed for content and it was draining me.
Yeah, I was just like.
I was just like whatever, don't worry about it, i'll figure it out.
But also, his house looks good.
Also yeah, I would, I would redo the kitchen.
No, your kitchen's fine.
I don't like the acrylic cabinets.
Kitchen is nice, it's nice.
It's not my style.
But the farmhouse respectful, I like modern farmhouse.
Yeah, but he wants to be on the farm in the middle of West Hollywood.
Yeah it's, it's a beautiful.
There's not even a single tree around.
It's a beautiful aesthetic.
If you're into this modern, contemporary bullshit, I like farmhouse.
It's mid-century modern in your entire life.
I don't know if this is mid-century you like mid-century.
The house is not mid-century, not this, this is like very 90s.
I want like a full-blown brutalist house.
Oh, you want like minimalist?
Yeah, I want like glass dude.
No, the worst yes you, you like mid-century modern?
No, I like.
No, that's not mid-century modern.
The house you showed me uh, out in the woods, was mid-century modern.
The one that you were talking I was watching your stream mid-century modern oh no, I like that, I like that.
He had a para, he had a parasocial moment where he was like the house you showed me, that was awesome.
You showed me the whole front of that house was glass.
Okay, you know what?
Maybe I don't know what i'm talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That sounds like modern.
Um, all I know is modern farmhouse, Scott yes, I know, I like it.
Uh, Scott Disick has the funniest architectural digest in the entire world because the home itself is very like um contemporary, cozy.
But then he clearly, if he hired a design team, they need to be fired, but he wanted modern so badly that it's just like this empty room that has paneling which is very contemporary and then and then just like, yeah, a solid statue, let me see if that is this one's.
No, the outside you could say oh, I love that, keep scrolling.
Oh, that's no, it's gaudy.
No gody, go to the youtube video.
See, I like this.
I know you don't like this.
I promise you do not like this.
Like I don't like browns.
I don't like browns.
Like this is like a light brown.
I don't like this floor.
It's not my house.
He's talking about fur.
He's talking about colors.
Okay, just kind of click through, let me make sure this is the right one.
He's done a few.
Oh oh, I like, not like that.
I like this.
Are you kidding me?
That's no.
It the weird though he has the weirdest design.
Really, that's kind of weird.
That's awesome.
I like.
See look, why does Scott Disick have so much money?
He has, like I don't know, like none of that makes any sense.
This is, it's all really ugly.
Yeah, and that table, that table you could call that table mid-century modern, but like then the rest of the house is like, what is that?
What's going on over there?
This is very.
Why do we just have a modern light right, have so much money and he has no art on the walls.
He's got nothing to myself, which I never really.
It's very, it's very weird.
I like this view, though I think the only reason why he has so much money is because he's like just a Kardashi, like look at that, like the shelves with the towels is what the is up with these towels?
Man here, see if you can find the house I was looking at, type in waterfall house.
Oh yeah, that's.
I feel like that's.
Oh, is it the Frank Lloyd one?
No, it's the.
Oh, I love.
Have you guys ever heard of the, the Murder House?
This house had me bricked up.
Wait, let me, let me guess something.
Wait, pause before we get in.
This is so.
Does it have a sunk sunken living room?
Fucking, love that shit.
You love sunken living rooms.
I think it's sick.
That's so funny.
Well, the original actually the original set design in a bigger space was a sunken living room, but we don't have the street.
Take a look and tell me what you think of this house, because this is what this would be.
My shit, this is giving parasite a little bit.
You gotta look in the living room and he's like yeah, right there, look at this.
Oh, look at interiors.
Wow, I see.
So that's brutalist.
Wait, what's up with the brick?
Exposed brick right there.
I'm feeling I thought there was mid-century Modern.
That's not mid-century modern.
Oh, that's not.
There's this card of reference.
I like the tile.
Obviously, that chair could be a little mid-century modern.
That's not formal, but the rest of it isn't.
There's all right, it's very like industrial, but like cozy and let it come.
It's a mad man-made water.
That's so pretty waterfall.
Where is this New York Upstate?
Did you live there?
Oh, in a heartbeat, how much is it like?
You're a house christ, we can't afford it as a family.
No, 12 million, and that far out in the federal boonies dude no, they're not.
Patreon goal, buy this house promisor, all of that.
Wow whoa, 20 000 patrons.
Okay, what are we doing?
Oh, 20 000 patrons.
I said I would say the Epslur on the Patreon.
Well, you have, you did say it.
No, I didn't.
In the beginning of this episode.
In the beginning it got cut out and I didn't say it.
Yeah uh like literally, it would have.
We wouldn't have been able to publish the episode because it would be demonetized.
That's how.
That's how he had it locked in the chamber.
Any other news going around that we want to talk about?
Oh my god, can we talk for five seconds?
Let's talk that shit.
I'm talking what the is going.
Oh okay, it's a double.
Do I want to talk or do I want to talk drama?
Do I have?
I have, I have time, we got time.
Save one for the Patreon.
I do have some current events drama, true drama.
I want some related to drama and related to shit talking.
Let's shit talk first and then drama.
Let's let Kitty unburden herself.
Talk your shit.
Tell us what the topics are.
We'll select one of them.
Okay uh, either that uh, Jacksepticeye and Mr Beast.
That is the drama, or the talking shit.
Is this creator fun gg?
Or whatever?
Okay, both are very good, both are very good tonight.
Okay okay, jacksepticeye is what we're gonna do.
And then I have another thing, uh as well, a Starfield, Starfield pronoun.
Oh, we talking shit.
Yeah, we talking that good shit.
Okay, let's save something.
We're also gonna measure each other on the Patron.
Yeah, we're gonna measure each other on the Patreon.
Measure shows, body bodies.
You were way too ready for that.
Okay, that's a little.
That's.
That's crazy.
I mean, he told me to get my cock out.
So Patreon.com slash fear and we're almost at 20 000 subscribers.
We're gonna do that start, i'll do it.
Let's go.
Jackseptica versus Mr Beast, pull it up.
And Mr Beast drama.
So Jacksepticeye no, he goes on, he goes on.
Jackseptic does a uh lie detector test with Tommy in it.
You love Tommy, love Tommy in it.
Um, and look up Dick Surdones.
Well, this has to be like teed up.
It has to be teed up in some way because during this lie detector thing Tommy, and it says directly to Jacksepticeye, do you hate Mr Beast?
We can show the video.
Uh, real quick, that's not the video, there's an older one.
This is after it was settled.
Okay, pull back.
Go back to Dick Surdenox's main page, mansplaining.
Again I, because I have to do it I I, it's just, it's right there.
Thank you.
I told him.
And he's like, no, i'm not gonna go there.
He's like you guys need to go.
He's like, now I need to go to capital therapy.
He's like, no, I'm going to go to Osnox page.
I'm like, go to Dixerton Oscar.
Okay, anyway.
Play the video.
Let's watch this clip.
Now, Jack, a completely unrelated question.
Do you like Mr. Beast?
Oh, do you like Mr. Beast?
No.
I can't say that.
Do you think Mr. Beast ruined YouTube?
Yes.
Now, in all honesty, Jack, why?
Because it became more about views, money, and popularity than it did about having fun.
You still think he had fun playing squid games?
You think he had fun riding on yachts?
He's doing wells in Africana.
If he had fun doing those videos, they'd be longer.
We'd see the fun.
Ooh.
I thought you were going to get me.
Yeah.
Why, didn't you?
Who's the YouTube that you hate the most?
I don't know.
There's a lot of groomers and pedophiles on it.
That's always funny.
So that's what he said.
And then it doesn't end there.
This is posted on Twitter to which Mr. Beast wrote like a long ass Twitter blue answer to.
He said, so I ruined YouTube because I didn't buy a mansion in sports cars.
Instead, reinvested my dollars in making content slash focused on doing good and inspiring kids to help people.
If he had fun, the videos would be longer.
What does that even mean, Lol?
You think I'd give up every hour of my life for 14 years if I didn't have fun?
Skull emoji.
This clip is insanely disrespectful in my opinion.
Obviously, there's so much I could say about his content, but I'll just take the punches and be the bigger man, sigh.
So, of course, this unfolded into a much larger controversy because whenever this kind of stuff happens, especially if you are like one of the biggest content creators and Mr. Beast is, he's like seen as a demigod, right?
There are a lot of people that have negative opinions of him and there are a lot of people who want to defend him.
So people that wanted to unload onto Mr. Beast immediately started being like, Jacksepticeye is right and he's based and you should say it.
And people that wanted to defend Mr. Beast were like, what the fuck is Jacksepticeye talking about?
He makes let's play videos.
It's quite literally the bottom of the barrel of content.
Now.
I like them both.
I was going to say the same thing.
I'm brave of both of you.
I think that there's...
No, no, no.
I like them both.
I know them both and I talk to them both.
I don't know them both.
I lost money to Mr. Beast one time.
I will say this, okay?
There is ironically, in my opinion, truth to what Jacksepticeye is saying and truth to what Mr. Beast is saying.
The way I think about this is Jacksepticeye is not wrong.
Mr. Beast has been able to change the game.
There are so many clones out there.
Jimmy himself would agree to this.
He has even tweeted about it and has said, I fucking hate that like so many people are just straight ripping what I'm doing and not even like trying to push the boundaries or trying to make anything else creative around the product and basically repackaging old Mr. Beast videos.
Right.
So there is truth to that.
So he, I think there's even internal recognition of the reality that like a lot of YouTube is just about maxing out the algo and maxing out the eyeballs.
Okay.
But I think that's how entertainment works in general.
There's always going to be the unique channels.
The only thing I would say is like, I agree with that, but Mr. Beast didn't do that.
It's always been like that.
It's been like that forever.
My favorite YouTube creators are people who you will never know on a name basis.
Every frame of painting.
No, my favorite YouTube, close, but Breadsword is my favorite YouTuber.
And I think he's like horrifically underrated in terms of like his video essays.
He'll do three hour long video essays on like obscure media content and he puts his fucking soul into this shit.
CJ the champ is another good one I think that like does anime related essay content.
But I think this is true like what you're getting to in any medium.
Like I think this is true in film.
I think this is true in music, where usually there's like, listen, the way I describe it is this.
It is the one piece conundrum, right?
Where there is fine dining and there's fast food, where ultimately, is fast food bad?
No, it's satisfying.
It's filling.
It's consistent.
And a lot of people actually prefer that to fine dining because it doesn't challenge your palate.
But if you really want to talk about the quality of something, is the quality of something how many people consume it?
Or is it how like how much care and art goes into construction?
Because if it's how many people consume it, well, then fast food is the best food there is in the world.
But if it is the artistry that goes into it, it is quite another thing.
It's a Michelin restaurant.
And this also comes back to content creation.
So I don't know.
I don't think Jack Septukai's comment is fair in that like this is a new Mr. Beast world we're living in.
That's why I said I also agree with Jimmy on that other aspect, which is like this is a, this is, this has always been the case in entertainment in every single medium.
And for that reason, like I don't fault Mr. Beast for making inoffensive, maxed out algorithm focused content because like he very openly admits that that's his goal.
His goal is to like, the only thing he cares about is just like making more videos that reach a broader audience.
And as long as he stays on like a relatively positive message, like he's not fucking running around being like a violent goober or a lot.
Doing like fucking over people pranks or whatever that other people used to do in earlier eras of YouTube.
I'm perfectly content with what he's doing.
And I think it's great.
But because of the philanthropic nature of his content, a lot of people do revere, like a lot of people do put him up as like a godlike figure almost.
And it's not his fault, but people do have like this outsized, like insane opinion over him in either direction.
And I think both are wrong.
I'm a big Mr. Beast fan and his videos lately have been insane.
I didn't watch his videos.
I mean, he always popped off as Mr. Beast, but lately, I mean, like, they just released a video yesterday where he crushed a 7-Eleven with like a, like, start with a little domino into a massive domino and they crushed a 7-Eleven.
Working the Red Carpet00:08:50
Eleven.
Well, they built it.
I mean, it was very obvious that it was.
That was mean.
He was happy.
It's a real 7-Eleven.
Take it back.
You are literally like, are you in the 13-year-old demographic?
It was definitely a real building.
No, it wasn't.
It was upset.
Listen, I love it.
What?
I'll say this.
What?
I love both.
I love both men.
Hopefully they can move past the beef.
They did.
There's one other thing I would like to talk about while we have QT before we get to the paywall.
The streamies sucked, dude.
The streaming sucked.
I unfortunately could not attend.
What do you mean?
Hassan, why would you say that?
I was telling everyone, I was like, yeah, Hassan's such a good friend.
He didn't go out of solidarity.
I will give you a bad day.
You gave your award during a fucking commercial break.
Doesn't matter.
I enjoy events like that because I get to see so many people that I never see that come from all around the country, sometimes all around the world.
I will stand by it.
You didn't go because you were tired.
I didn't go because I was feeling like absolute dogs.
I just went to sleep.
He was a widow tie-tie.
A little tired.
They can't have loved it too much.
Hey, they gave your award during a commercial break and Ethan walked out.
Yeah.
Ethan also lost and also lost to Jay Shetty and lost during a commercial break.
I'm going to stand by the fact that I think it's just Clout Wars.
Genuinely, I think.
Which that's not how, for the record, I know.
It's an award show.
I know, but that's not how Streamer.
Streamer Awards is actually pretty balanced.
Well, the reason why Streamer Awards is balanced, and I think this is a major problem with the Streamies in general.
I fucking hook my blood source up to this fucking community.
Because you're a fucking streamer.
And because you have an understanding of how the environment works, you're not Dick Clark Productions.
No disrespect to the Dick Clark boys out there.
I know some of them.
Amir.
Amir, you remember Amir from the Young Turks?
I used to love it.
Yeah, I think he used to work for them.
He still does, I think.
Next streamer awards.
All I ask for my undying loyalty.
I think it's time I worked the red carpet for you.
Yeah, we want to work the Will I.
I would like to work the red carpet.
Look, look, I don't hate to get in on that, but.
We just shook, so this is awkward.
I wanted to be in the red carpet too, but you know what?
Will, I don't want to be the red carpet, so it's fine.
You already did that.
No, he's doing the red carpet.
No, wait, it's fine.
He's going to do it.
We're going to be a team.
I'll have to consider that.
Dear N. Dear N Streamies, Red Carpet.
Yes.
You just called it the Streamies again.
Or Streamer Awards, Red Carpet.
We got to do an outfit, please.
Let me open the show at least on camera this time.
Fair.
I mean, I would like to do something bigger than that, but like.
You are such a slut.
It's not even funny.
I can let you open the show on camera.
Okay.
But maybe a little bit of a bigger one.
Would you like to?
Listen.
I want to do some.
Maybe if you're not going to be able to do it, but don't wear a smelly shirt this time.
We'll let the people see you.
I would like to host the show with you, but I'm not going to.
Can I tell you what I think Austin would be really good at?
He would also be good at red carpet.
In the show, you have breaks.
I think instead of just having the camera crew walk around the audience, he should walk around and he should be the one who talks to the people.
I actually, you know what?
You know how.
Fine, I'll do all.
No, I actually, that was my original plan.
To do it all?
I know.
No, remember?
Remember last year I talked to you about the floor.
What are you doing?
What happened?
Can I tell you what we need to have?
Okay, 30,000 subscribers on the Patreon.
This is what I want.
This is what I need more than anything in my life.
Austin Show hosts a children's beauty pageant.
Oh my.
Austin's cuties would go fucking insane.
We have a $100,000 budget and prize and we do a children's beauty page.
I watch it cancels.
And Austin goes up and I go, there they are.
Austin's cuties.
No, we can't do that.
The worst thing about this, I'm so sorry, Will.
I love it so much.
But the yard has talked about doing a child's beauty pageant for the past year.
And I'm so sad because I know how much you'll hate that.
No, no, no, no.
Good?
Because I want to steal something of theirs.
No, good.
They should do it.
Wait, what are they still of ours?
No, they should do it so we can fucking cancel them and call them pedophiles.
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Just cut this part out.
You don't have to cut it.
But cut this part out and then fucking let them do it.
You should keep gassing.
You should keep gassing.
He's been talking about doing a children's beauty.
God, they're good.
Yeah.
They are good.
They are.
Yeah.
Let him do it.
And I let him do it.
I got my QAnon people.
I'll fucking get them.
I'll get them to freak out about it.
And then boom.
They're called pedophiles.
Wait, they're on yourself.
We're on top.
I have my burner accounts.
You know what I mean?
I can get some people.
I can get some people on board.
Hank Partridge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
2A Defender.
My Second Amendment defends the first.
What's the website?
Truth Teller Eagle.
Truth Teller Eagle.
TruthTellerEagle.net.
TruthTellerEagleFuck.net.
Hey, before we go to the Patreon, I have one little announcement.
Okay.
I have announced the first cast for Name Your Prize, son.
Name your prize.
All right.
Name your prize on tour.
Miami, Florida.
October 7th will include Quackety, Carl Jacobs, Tommy Innet, and Tina Kitten.
What up?
And Will.
Well, obviously.
I'm there too, obviously.
I said this.
Will is the co-host to name your prize.
He is the host to name your prize.
Will.
You're flying to Miami for this guy?
Cutie.
It's okay, man.
Cutie, obviously.
I wanted to make sure Will got a spotlight.
The contestants and the LA show and Houston show also on sale have not been announced.
The tour, the cast have not been announced.
Is it still out after you announce the cast?
No, not yet.
No one stopped tickets.
Everyone, relax.
Yeah, relax.
There's still tickets available.
Limited amounts of tickets available in Miami, folks.
Believe me, get it while it's hot.
All right.
Hot, Hassan and Cutie still will be on one of the shows.
I just don't know.
Are we?
Yeah.
I never said yes.
I've never spoken to them.
I've never said yes.
Okay.
All right.
If anybody else wants any other announcements we have, anybody?
Anybody?
Do you have an announcement to make, Cutie?
No, should I?
I mean, if you want to.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, guys, thank you.
I want to tell our audience, I'm so thankful for my friends because they're all going to be joining me next Monday.
Oh.
To watch the Jets, Jets, Jets, Jets.
Yes, because as it grows, September 11 is a very important date for me.
How did you know that next Monday was?
So it's a very well, it's because it's a very important day for me and also the coach.
Will there be snacks?
Uh, I think we'll go to a place, i'll rent a place and we'll sit.
If there are snacks well, and you, of course, I will go for you, oh yeah, but it would be a bonus if there was snacks.
Jalapeno podcast, are we?
Uh we're yeah, we're filming the podcast uh, next sunday?
Oh, do you guys want to film the podcast while we watch the game?
I feel like that'll be, that'll be audio health.
I would love to, because then I could watch the opener with my dad, the Vikings game.
But he wants to watch the Viking game.
You could just miss next week.
I may do that, but we'll see for your dad.
No, because we're gonna film the podcast Sunday night because anyway, well, we're going into the Patreon, folks.
Oh, wait, you have an announcement?
No, football starts on Monday, not Sunday.
Sunday, but Jetsky's Monday.
So, are we going to have to start filming our podcast?
They wanted to specifically fly the Jets on 9-11.
Oh, boy.
Listen, the first Muslim American head coach is going to change the trajectory of the New York Jets.
This must make you a big Jets fan of someone.
What are you laughing like?
I don't like that he's laughing.
What are you laughing about?
What do you mean?
He's just going to fly the Jets.
I can't wait for the patriotic ceremony to remember all those that were lost.
What is happening?
I don't know if you know this, but in 9-11, 2001, a horrifying event happened.
Oh, I was thinking about it.
I would like to take a moment of silence.
Sorry, you're right.
It's natural and beautiful.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Austin, that was beautiful.
You're welcome.
Well, I'm natural and beautiful.
Fly Jets fly.
That's right.
Okay.
That's Fly Eagles fly.
It's JT.
Okay.
All right.
Well, see you on the Patreon.
We still got a lot of juicy drama to cover.
Oh, my God.
We're going to be talking about the Starfield gender pronoun wars that are shipping each other.
Which is airing Austin's asshole.
I brought the Nair.
Measuring Underneath the Nipple00:01:13
Let's go.
Yeah.
God damn.
Yes.
I waxed full blood hole.
Full blood hole.
Oh, well, if we get inside, we can get some of those little hairs.
Okay, that's true.
They're just throws they used to be.
When did we agree to this?
I don't know.
When do I go?
I'm going to waxing place.
What?
What?
That's not a thing.
Yeah, it is.
Drive-through.
Okay, come into your car.
Just hang your ass out the window.
All right, we'll talk more about this on Patreon, patreon.com/slash fear.
And we have new tiers and updates.
We've got new tiers and actually stuff on this content.
See you on the other side.
Peace.
Hasn't worked out.
Oh, you don't have to take off your shirt for this.
You could have put your shit.
So, okay.
Measure...
Measure...
Here, give it to me.
I'll do it.
Measure around the chest, just under the arms, and across the back of the shoulder.