Hasanabi, QTCinderella, and WillNeff boycott the Streamys, owned by Dick Clark Productions, while debating Shohei Ohtani's potential $300 million contract drop due to injury. They critique fat-shaming retailers Aritzia and Brandy Melville, analyze viral penis size myths, and dissect Taylor Swift's "witchcraft" conspiracy theories alongside LDS TikTok trends. The episode concludes with chaotic speculation on streamer charity auctions and a heated argument over an ambiguous "art doll," highlighting the absurdity of online influencer culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
|
Time
Text
Picking on the Little Guy00:05:48
Yeah, just roll it.
It's fun.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome, dude.
I'm just like picking on the little guy or something.
Picking on the whole guy.
That's why I said, even though they're big.
What do you mean?
They're an institution.
They're like a million and millions of people.
They've been around before.
There's just little me.
So let's shit on them.
I don't think they're millions of dollars backed or whatever, but they have been around since I was in fucking.
They're owned by Dick Clark Productions.
All right, time out.
Are you talking about it or not?
Because I don't want to hurt you.
We can talk about it.
We should talk about it.
Let's just talk about it on the product.
We should talk about it.
I'm going to the streamies.
And there's drama.
Are we recording now?
Yeah.
There's drama.
There's drama.
You're a bad friend.
We can do it.
We can do it.
We can have the rest of this argument behind the paywall.
We can talk.
Welcome, everybody.
I'm trying to start.
I'm starting it right now by calling Hassan a bad friend.
Yeah, he's a piece of shit.
Welcome to the Fear Ann podcast.
We're back.
We are back.
We are back in a major way live from sunny Los Angeles, California.
What is going on?
Why are you like this?
No, I flew in this morning.
I'm feeling great.
I like this.
He's doing a top of show.
That's what we do.
We're organizing it.
I'm here with the wonderful Hassan Piker, Will Nev Austin Show.
Good to be here, Austin.
Good to be here for having me.
I feel very weird.
Cutie Cinderella.
And we're here, and it's a wonderful day.
Top of the show, we're talking about dating.
Am I right?
Am I right?
It's the summertime.
It's hot out.
What are you guys doing?
First date, where are you going, Cutie Cinderella?
I don't want to.
I don't want to do this.
What is happening?
Ooh, Disneyland.
Ooh, Disneyland.
You're going on it.
Wait, hold on.
On your first date, you're going to fucking Disneyland.
Yeah, you know what?
Dog, that is literally a chore.
Okay.
You want to...
You've never met a guy.
No, listen to what I'm about to say.
Disneyland with friends, a beautiful experience.
Disneyland family, beautiful experience.
Disneyland with Cutie Cinderella.
Don't know what that's like because I've never fucking experienced it.
We'll see.
Okay.
Maybe we'll go.
Let me just say if you would be.
I would take you if you were a good friend to me.
No, it doesn't go that way.
It doesn't go that way.
Cutie, I'm going to step in here.
You think I let you trash everyone because it tickles me.
But I, a few days ago, was going on my best friend, Cutie Cinderella's YouTube.
Why do you watch my YouTube?
I don't even remember.
I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
French.
I don't even watch my YouTube.
Wait, she said, she said she shit on you and it wasn't even memorable.
Yeah, I don't remember.
I just say so.
Every day I shit on you guys.
You shit on me?
Yes.
What?
Every day I shit on you.
Wait, really?
I didn't do anything.
Verbatim.
She's watching the clip of the three of us being like, she's my friend.
No, she's my friend.
And then she pauses the video and she goes, this is so weird because I fucking hate them all.
And I felt my heart drop out.
Well, you know what?
I stand by that.
You in the yard talk a lot of shit.
Yeah.
I don't know what goes around on that side of town, but you guys talk a lot.
I'm not on the yard.
Sometimes I feel like you are.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Sometimes I feel like you are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I've realized about myself?
What?
Not to make about me.
Yeah, that would be crazy.
But I am obsessed with Taylor Swift all of a sudden, and I love Disney.
I think I'm becoming Cutie Cinderella.
Yeah, you're stealing her shit.
I can't help it.
I can't help it.
I think I am you.
I would be hyped if you fucked Ludwig.
Yes.
That's the final.
That's you have to do.
Ooh, that is the final front.
See that leather fit with the shaved head?
He looks both ways.
What's going on?
What's going on with your lord?
What are you doing?
You think Ludwig swings both ways?
Unironically, I have asked him deadass.
Really?
Yeah, because I was turned.
No, it was fake.
Oh, okay.
Did you ask him this after he shaved his head?
No, I asked him this after he made out with Aiden at a club.
I am devastated.
Look at his face.
I am devastated.
You also kissed him.
I watched.
I even made out with him at a club.
I watched.
He shouldn't have done that with Aiden anyway.
Your eyes went from psych mat to jealousy like that.
I was at that club.
It was the one time we went to the Abbey.
Aiden didn't make my heart's broken in two.
My heart's broken in two because Ludwig nor Aiden kissed me.
Someone's doing gay without me?
Yeah.
That was Austin's.
That was Austin.
Yeah, I feel like at his event that he was throwing a gay club.
Oh, that was my party.
Yeah.
I was kissing everybody that night.
Yeah, and he had more than that.
I didn't kiss them.
I don't even remember them being there.
I remember, this is how petty I was.
I remember Ludwig made out with Aiden, and I was like, what the hell?
And so then I was like, somebody kiss me.
And then I made Andrea and Alex both kiss me.
But yeah, but that probably backfired.
Whoa, he's probably like, Aiden.
No, they like.
What?
Aiden.
It was like, no, separately.
Andrea and Alex and kissing at the same time.
Aiden.
No.
It was like Andrea, Alex, Brooke.
I like had a line of women and I just pecked them all.
And I was like, I can do it too.
And then Ludwig wasn't even looking.
God damn it.
Yeah, but it would probably backfire because he probably liked it.
It did.
No, it backfired because he was too, he was, he didn't even see it.
He was making out with Aiden.
He's too into me.
Were they like making out?
Wait, what is happening right now?
Did it cause like a fight between you guys?
I shouldn't talk about it.
Okay, this was in the middle of it.
This was in the middle of the Ukrainian invasion.
And you guys were out there making out.
Whoa, this is the big party and special thing he didn't show up.
No, I did.
Preemptively.
Selling Minds Over Dicks00:04:50
He was there.
I was there.
I made out with everybody.
Yeah.
No.
No, no.
I was there.
I was doing gay.
And then I did too much gay.
And I was like, all right, I'm done.
I'm all gayed out.
And I left.
I was doing straight that night.
That's how hot that was.
I think I made out with your girlfriend.
You did.
And then you made out with me.
Oh, okay.
I didn't make out with anybody.
I left early.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
I didn't realize that it was like that.
I was trying to get revenge.
It didn't work.
That's not how that works.
I know.
What do you do?
Pop Aiden's tires.
That seems very unhealthy.
All right.
You know what?
I'll give him one more chance to kiss me.
He doesn't want to.
And if that's it, well, fine.
Then it's over.
Can I talk about something topical?
Yeah.
Because that's usually what we do on podcasts, but we don't do that.
Yeah.
This was something that was like in my head that I couldn't get rid of that I don't know how you guys will respond or if you'll care at all.
Right now, the best player in baseball is a guy named Shohei Otana.
Oh, I know him.
I have his jersey.
Okay.
Best player in baseball.
He was due for a contract, like a 10-year contract that was worth up to $600 million.
A few days ago, they assessed an injury.
You see?
Yes.
An injury in his elbow.
And now his contract for the next 10 years, they're theorizing that it might have been knocked down to $300 million.
Oh, what a which?
Which feasibly makes this injury the most expensive injury in history.
I think a $300 million injury.
He should have pretended he was okay.
Well, how do you feel about someone's elbow being worth $300 million?
Does that even mean that?
It's ironic.
I mean, in baseball, isn't that like, you know, that is a very common thing that happens that ends up devaluing you as a pitcher or a hitter.
But I think the amount of money is so unfathomable.
No part of my body will ever be worth 300 million.
It's the Angels, right?
Is it Angels Institution?
If you had to value what your most expensive part of your body is, what is everything good?
Oh, God.
I'm cheap.
I'm cheap.
I'm like plastic.
What do you think the hair's worth?
Oh, that's great.
Like, think about it.
I see.
If someone was going to make an offer on your own.
I feel like someone would give me at least 50K to see my boobs, not AI version.
Really?
You think you could sell your breasts for 50 grand?
Not like chop them off and sell them on the black market.
Oh, I was.
I think if I like what?
I think if I said OnlyFans convince tomorrow that I would get up to 50K to see my boobs.
If I said OnlyFans convince tomorrow.
How much do you think somebody would pay to see my cock?
Not as much.
Not as much.
The value of dick has been depreciated.
Well, it's diluted because they're throwing it around.
It's not wrong.
Supply and demand.
Fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's ridiculous.
And the other thing with titties is that I feel like no matter how many titties there are out there, new titties are still fun.
They're cool.
Like, I think your dicks are great.
What do you think the most valuable part of your body is?
Like, which one would go for the most?
Well, yeah.
I mean, if I was, yeah, if I was a harlot like cutie over here.
Well, you're hawking titties online.
That's what my dad calls.
Yeah.
I would, yeah, it'd probably be the dick, I assume.
Probably the dick.
But I'm going to say on my own.
I'm going to tell you guys something.
I got a fantastic ass.
No one has ever seen.
No, I've seen your ass.
I've felt it.
Good.
It is a bubble butt.
I've given it a grab.
I have a great butt as well, but I don't, like, I, I don't know.
I don't think it's like as valuable.
My ass is like passing.
Like, it's okay.
Why are your cuticles all fucked up?
Oh, he has his thumbs.
Yeah.
He's got burn victim thumbs.
You got a band-aid up.
What's going on?
I've got.
Yeah.
This is what he does when he's stressed.
I've got something to address.
Anxiety ring.
Do you want an anxiety ring?
No.
This is my anxiety ring.
Why fix it if it ain't broke?
You know what I'm saying?
It looks really painful.
No, it's fine.
I don't even feel it.
I think you guys, from what I've seen, have fantastic.
What?
Yeah.
Butts.
Well, anyway, I just thought that that was...
I keep racking my brain.
It's sad that ours are all sexual and we don't have a skill that.
Well, I mean, if I was thinking of like, what is my most valuable asset, I would still go with brain, I think.
You're laughing.
That's my own perspective.
I could sell your dick for way more than your mind.
I mean, my mind is what has made me my money so far.
That's how I'm thinking about it.
Like, hyperfixation with streaming into a pill than it would be worth.
Well, then all of our brains, I think, is the most valuable asset that we have.
My ass is way better than your mind.
I think people would want to see my boobs.
Can I just say something?
Cutting Babe Ruth's Net Worth00:02:46
Instead of playing events.
I think that it's the Angels, right?
So I think Angels as an institution have this once in a lifetime, perhaps never before seen, never will happen ever again, guy that has the capacity to revitalize baseball as like almost single-handedly.
Japanese Babe Ruth.
Dude, Babe Ruth is...
Look, you're going to get mad at me.
I don't know enough about fucking baseball and I don't care to learn.
But I feel like he right now is in a level that is like unimaginable.
Bro, Babe Ruth was going up against like...
Well, let me head you off.
They had not invented.
I didn't say Japanese Babe Ruth is basically a slugger who is.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
From that front.
Joey Otani in terms of actually being a baseball player is a way better baseball.
Because Babe Ruth, but you have to adjust for that.
Babe Ruth is playing at a time when like Dominicans haven't been invented yet.
You know what I mean?
It's like you can't get the first rap from Cuba hadn't been in the case of the business.
You can't like compare that.
It's like, like, it's even worse of a comparison than like Michael Jordan playing against like plumbers and math teachers.
You know what I mean?
Because it's like, yeah, sure.
He's, he's, you know, he's playing his heart out, but the people that he's playing against, they're not pitching as hard.
Can play some motherfucking baseball.
Yeah.
Whereas Otani, from what I understand, being like the, what is he, like, six foot six or something?
Like, he's, he's sexy as fuck.
He's just, I love shit like that.
Yeah.
I love.
He's the, he's the number one model for Hugo Boss now.
He's awesome.
He's, he's sick.
I mean, he's, he's very talented.
Wow.
And my point was, it's kind of fucked up that they just like cut his net worth in half.
Yeah.
Not realizing that like I feel like they should cut if they cut the net worth in half.
They should cut the instead of 10 years, it's five years.
Just to take the onus off the angels.
It's not fucked up.
It's not the angels that are cutting the contract.
It is the lead wide net worth.
Anyone can offer him a 10-year, $600 million contract.
Experts are just saying that is likely off the table.
Wow.
Because he's too because he's a liability.
Well, he has an injury that he will likely need what's called Tommy John surgery for, which is a very common surgery.
And it's kind of like an ACL injury in football where you can come back and you can be the same athlete, but it's just not 100% chance.
So that's scary.
A baseball contract, a 10-year baseball contract is like betting on a talent.
And if he has a 10 years is too long.
Lingering injury, you anyway, let's move on from that topic.
I just thought that was fascinating.
I thought it was fascinating, too.
Thank you for sharing, Will.
He deserves it.
You should give him the 600 million.
The Eight-Inch Reality Check00:05:21
I don't know if you guys know this, but there's a huge popular tweet out right now that has ranked you and Hassan as two out of the top three cocks in the industry.
What?
What?
The two in the popular tweet in the Twitch.
Did you tweet this?
No, I didn't tweet this.
No, no, I swear to God.
There's on a Twitter account.
It's on Twitch Himbos.
And that's not.
It is, swear to God.
It's got 30,000 likes.
It ranks Hassan, I think Wake Wilder, and you as having the top three penises on Twitch.
Yes!
Like, finally!
The biggest is what they say.
And what's so fuck you, Streamer Awards!
Fuck you, streaming!
So go scroll down.
Dog, that's like, that's scroll down.
It is scroll down.
Well, there's me.
But 21,000 likes.
The top three most hung streamers.
Wait, what is what is Wake working with?
Yeah.
Okay.
So Wake has a Cobra.
Wait, what the fuck?
Yo, click on that shit.
What the fuck?
I feel like.
I will close my eyes.
Wait.
Okay, his dick.
His dick makes my shit look like it's nothing.
He has a trunk.
Okay, wait.
No way.
Okay.
No, no, It's like a fire hole.
No, that's too much.
That's too much dick.
Where is the dick stopping the balls again?
Wait, I don't understand.
Why does he have such a big penis?
What the fuck?
Okay.
We can't even show this.
So, he's hard, right?
Please tell me.
I just, I know that's.
Wake has the type of energy as a guy that plays video games with Wake all the time.
He's got that kind of quiet confidence that can only be ascribed to having a dick.
How many likes did that tweet have?
I don't want to, like, at first I was like, it's you and I, like, great.
And then I saw Wake's thing and I'm like, okay, but look at that.
Yeah.
I need to address something that really irritated me about this.
It's sad that he's not on it.
No, no, no, forget him.
No, I don't care about that.
I literally don't care about that.
There are comments below this.
It is riddled with comments going, oh, that's big.
That's big.
All these people claim that, like, the perception of dicks is that like dicks are like flopping around at eight inches on the regular.
Yeah.
Have these people seen they've made new dicks.
Have these people seen penises outside of the comfort of their own home?
Have they field tested?
Dicks aren't that big.
No, dicks aren't that big.
I just want to tell everybody, there's a public service.
Do you need the editor to put in a list that says Austin showed dick expert?
No, but like this, it really frustrates me that people are out there saying that like, those are some big dicks that were up there.
Like, and people saying that, like, making it seem as if that's not big.
Do you think they're just joking, though?
No, that's it.
I do that all the time.
People are tense here.
So they're like, oh, that's, that's, I think you're like, I'll see something and someone will be like, this is eight inches.
And I'll be like, not that big.
No.
Well, okay.
Like this.
I'll be like, oh, this isn't even that big.
It's like, it just makes you a size queen.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
Okay, don't protest too much.
Then it seems like Ludwig's not working when we...
We all know you have vagina Christmas.
I got vagina Christmas, so you can't remember a pack of snow.
This would hurt a lot.
It just upsets me that the, there's, it's so toxic that people are out there thinking that hogs are eight inches plus.
And when you see a genuine hypocrite, I don't think those people understand that like, like the, the, the eight inch hog in the wild is like a very unique, is very rare sighting.
Yeah.
And on top of that, it's also from what I understand, as far as like, and cutie can attest to this, uh, even if she didn't have her medical condition, uh, I feel like it's a bit too big seen by me is anywhere from like 5.5 to like 6 point something.
That's the range.
That's exactly what my range is.
That's the range that I've seen the most.
It's the average, right?
And you see one and you're like, whoa.
Yeah, and there is such a thing as too big of a dick for the record.
Like everybody's uterus is like a shoe size.
And if, you know, if he's a size eight shoe, he's not fitting into your size five.
Exactly.
If you were a sick between 5.5 and 7 inches, you are in premium dick territory.
That is lifelong boyfriend, husband, dick territory.
Anything greater than that, you're struggling.
Anything less than that, you're still probably okay.
But I think that there's a huge misconception out here that people are just slaying around horsecock.
No, it's because it's online.
These people have only seen probably porn and they don't even realize that like a lot of the porn stars are also not working with that much meat.
Like you have the Jason Loves of the world.
You have the, oh, oh my God, Manuel Ferrers of the world that have like the fucking tin can dicks.
Yeah, like exactly.
You have that.
But like beyond that, most of the porn stars are not packing like eight inchers themselves.
They got like they're working with sevens.
Those are still in the top percentile of dick.
Exactly.
So I just want to let you know, gentlemen, when you see those comments, I don't want you to be discouraged.
I would have never even seen that.
Nor those comments.
You guys have fantastic.
And now I'm like, at first, I was like, see yours.
Online Porn Size Expectations00:15:53
Yeah, I'll whip it out.
At first, I was like, this is great.
And then I saw Wake.
I've always said, and cutie, I'm sorry we're talking to someone.
No, it's fine.
You guys love talking about it.
I'm sorry we're talking so much.
The audience loves it.
I wish we lived in a world where I could show more dicks for you.
It's just cleavage, right?
There's so many garments that show off breasts.
And there are women that make a good living.
Like the SpongeBob meme where you like SpongeBob pulling it and you see the root.
You just show a little cock from time to time.
It's just called gray sweatpants.
It's like...
Oh, cutie.
What?
That's what every girl looks like.
Oh.
I can pull up to the function in gray sweatpants.
Oh, you're saying a thing.
I'm talking about I go to a red carpet and I just show a little dick cleavage.
Do like, do like Lil Nawsex type thing.
A little what?
Like Lil Mos X.
He like will wear like a bodysuit or like you could like get.
I bet you could find a stylist and you tell the stylist like I want the dick accentuated and you could.
There you go.
Spandex is for the slutty boy specialist, a dick specialist.
But do you hear this, guys?
We're normalizing it.
Or was it like Zoolander specialist to show off my dick?
Why can't I go to a Forever 21?
Yeah, because it's not invented yet.
You just gotta invent it openly.
I think we're breaking down walls.
Do you guys want to care about something that women care about?
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, we care so much because it's beautiful and it's natural kitty.
I nobody loves women more than we do.
To Aritzia this week and I got fat shamed.
Oh fuck no, from who?
From who they're done?
Is that our country?
Name them sounds like a made-up Eastern European country from a game.
Looked into it and turns out there's like this that they do this.
They're like Amber Crombie AND Fitch in the 2004 like, okay, so essentially an Aritzia, uh at like uh, Westfield Mall, I think, or The Grove, it's a, it's a store, it's a women's store uh, and they just sell basics.
It's very like Haley Bieber esque, like.
It's just like, do we can't?
Are we canceling her too?
Haley, we don't like i'm ready, i'm ready for you, but it's it's plain clothes, and in store they only carry size double zero to 10.
Okay okay, I don't know.
You have to describe yeah in further detail.
I am a 10.
oh i think i'm a very normal out of 10 no very guys no i'm a very normal size girl 12 year old gymnast only no no i am 5'8 i weigh anywhere from like 155 to 160.
You're beautiful and i'm i'm a size 10.
Okay guys, I don't need it.
I don't need, i'm not asking for that, but I sometimes I can fit in an eight, sometimes I can fit in a 10, regardless.
I go into Ritzia and this stuff is so cute and i'm like, oh cool.
And so I I start grabbing stuff and like let's put it in the fitting room for you, and i'm like, okay.
So I go and I never try stuff on, but i've never shopped here before.
So I go in the fitting room and they don't have mirrors in their fitting room.
Wait, what?
Why not have to walk out in front of everybody?
And there's a couch and there's one big mirror.
That's miserable.
So there's 10 rooms and everyone has a communal mirror.
Oh my gosh, as you walk out, there are workers stationed there to comment on what it looks like, and then go grab you more clothes.
Yeah, so it's like a sales tactic.
What were they?
The issue was is, the clothes didn't fit me.
So you're a size 10, but you're not a Ritzia size thing.
Is what you're saying?
What did they say, guys?
So I walk out there and I cannot button up the size 10 and i'm like kind of embarrassed.
And so then I was like I really like these pants like.
This is so embarrassing.
Is there any way you have a size 12?
And she's like we don't carry those in store.
And I was like oh oh oh okay, did you grab her all the hair?
And then I made it, no, take her.
Then I made a joke and I was like yeah, it's kind of like skinny girl vibes in here, huh.
And she just went uh-huh and I was like she said skinny girl vibes wow oh, what is the logic on not stocking bigger size?
I don't want fat people in the store shopping.
They save money on fat.
No, they have it online.
I mean that is true, that does that.
Oh, you can buy it online, but you can't buy it in.
They shame you and they say, don't come into our store fatty.
You have to buy it online where you can't be seen.
That's so weird because okay okay, quick question for you.
So, fat guys, you can never wear cool stuff.
What do you?
What do you mean as fat guys?
Look at you, get the out of here.
As fat guys, you can never wear you can.
This is like when Austin jumps on something.
That's like harming women just and goes just Just because I have transformed my body to Pre-COVID brilliance doesn't mean that I haven't been fat.
Ridiculous that you're like, you're doing that.
You've never had an issue fitting in this shit.
We should call this shit.
That's a lot of fun.
In the 10, 11, 12 years that I've known you.
I have stumpy legs.
Like you have, your weight has fluctuated.
Yeah, a lot.
And I know that you were a big boy and you're still a big boy at heart.
Like you have that fat kid in your heart because of the way you eat.
Like, or when you put potato chips inside of sandwiches.
Like, this is all fat kid behavior.
Do I get fat kid energy?
Fuck no.
No.
Oh, little do you know?
No, little do you know?
I was fat from the time I was born till about six months.
Well, you're so burnt.
I'm sorry.
Austin, I mean this sincerely.
I was a fat baby.
You eat like a skinny guy.
I was a fat.
You'll pick up a burrito and you'll do this.
I do not.
Yes.
Austin, we've seen you pick up shit and dip it one time.
And like, what was it?
This is traumatized.
You hold it like this and you pick chicken out of it.
That's not.
Fat kid does that.
Yeah.
When I see a fucking nice burrito, I'm like, how do I shove this in my gullet as fast as possible?
That's right.
Okay.
You literally have the capacity to say, no, I don't want that.
Yeah, you can say no to cheese.
I do.
I like cheese.
Oh, even when you're, even when you're binging, even when he made toast and you stole it, you still picked it up with two fingers.
Yeah, you dropped, you flew at it, but you still delicately picked it up.
Oh, is this cheese?
Listen.
Yeah, you don't have to.
It's ridiculous that you tried to take on, you know, take ownership over the fat kid thing.
Everybody knows that that's ridiculous.
I was just trying to support my friend.
My point was...
Me too.
So what happened in Aritzia?
Well, here's why I have a question for you.
Did you order the size 12?
I have a question.
Why are you laughing?
Okay.
I feel bad.
Well, because I would like to be.
I used to be a size six.
I would like to be a size six again.
And if I was a size six, I would fit in their clothes.
And their size 10.
You are so gorgeous.
You're capturing.
Can I be honest?
Did their technique work?
Did their technique of negging make you want to wear their clothes even more?
No, it made me it made me skip the rest of my food for the day is what it made me do.
Oh my God, kitty, that's not.
Oh, you're so.
It's sad.
Anyway, we hate Aritzia.
Did you order the size 12?
No.
So what I was going to say is...
The size 12 wouldn't fit me.
So here's the question for you.
Brandy Melville, this is probably the most common offender of what you're talking about.
What's with you?
And also on top of that, sexual assault.
So they are like...
What is this?
Brandy Melville is like a southern bell and they sexually assault people.
Well, no, literally, they have done that.
There was a big ass article about it.
The CEO is like a fucking massive creep, that kind of thing.
But on top of that, Brandy Melville is one size.
They only sell one size.
So my question is, is that, yeah, that's why I was going to ask you.
Is that better?
Because you know it's one size and you're like, oh, fuck that.
It's not for me.
Even though that's technically, you know, they're doing the same thing as Aritzia, but Aritzia actually pulls you in only to fat shame you.
Whereas Brandy Mel was like, don't even fucking come into our store or buy our shit online if you're fat.
Not even if you're fat, but if you're just like not a size double zero.
Yeah, I didn't know that about Brownie Melville until I tweeted out the, I tweeted out the Aritzia thing and people were like, oh, you didn't even know about it?
Get with it, Queen.
Dude, I'm fucking.
I know all about this shit.
I am with Austin.
You are gorgeous.
Let's never shop at Aritzia again, okay, guys?
Look, kitty, I genuinely mean you're gorgeous.
I wouldn't, I would, I would tell you if you're you would never tell her.
Yes, I would.
You would literally not tell her.
There have been times I've stumbled into this podcast looking like a toe and you've never told me.
And I know I look like a toe.
No, you do not look like a toe.
There's been days.
If you didn't look good, I'd be like, cutie, you got to step it up.
That's what I'd do.
You would never in a million years say that.
Are you kidding me?
Cutie?
You got to step in.
You would never say that.
I'd say that to you too.
I'd be like, Will, you look like hell.
No, you'd say it to us.
Yeah, I would.
You wouldn't say it to me.
I wouldn't.
Because she's never looked like hell at all.
Yes, I have.
I know I have.
Did you tell me if I look like shit?
Yes.
Yes.
I've told Cutie she's looked like shit a few times in as many ways.
He's been like, are you okay?
Yeah.
That's what I'll say.
And I'm like, look, I pride myself on being an honest friend.
You are very dishonest.
I'm smiling all her.
I can just say, all I see is you're picking me out.
Is this white chicken?
This is white chicken.
Chicken breast.
Chicken breast.
I can't believe.
I can't believe you tried to fucking run with that.
Like that you were like a fat kid.
No, I don't know where I was going with that.
I did have some.
He just wanted to fit it.
I did not know.
I was never fat.
I had baby fat, but everybody had baby fat.
All right.
We've had three topical conversations from the three of us.
Hassan, contribute.
What's got your goat?
What's going on?
I actually have some stuff to pull up, as a matter of fact.
If you recall in the degenerates group chat, I sent a bunch of stuff.
I don't remember sending anything.
Well, I responded.
Especially not replying to me when I say, hey, can we have a meeting?
I sent it and then unsent it, as a matter of fact.
Wait, wait, wait.
Because then I was like, you know what?
I don't want to even.
I don't even want to throw this.
First of all, yeah, fire up the Discord.
Number one, what I want to show you guys is I went down the rabbit hole of like LDS memes.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Oh, Latter-day Saints.
On the Sunday.
Yeah.
Sabbath today.
So that's number one.
Number two, I feel pain thinking about going to Mormon church today.
So we can start off with that or we can start off with TikToker and Taylor Swift look alike Ashley Leachin being a problem.
We should save that.
Let's start with Ashley Leach.
Wait, oh, you want to save that for the.
I just feel like people are a little worn out of us talking about Taylor Swift.
And so I was like, maybe we save it till the end.
I'm okay.
I'm okay with the paywall.
Okay.
They're a little worn.
And then Ashley Leachin, for the record, she's a problem and she's weird.
So I have three different categories.
Okay.
I have three different categories of things I want to talk about.
Ashley Leachin dovetails into the other thing that I want to talk about, which is still Taylor Swift related.
Okay.
I'll say that.
But no, no, no, but this is really good because it also is conspiracy theory related and we love conspiracy theories.
So let me see if I can.
Let me see if I can find it real quick.
I don't know how the fuck I'm going to find.
Where do you find your bookmarks on your Instagram's stupid ass shit has changed so much?
Oh, there it is.
Thank you.
I got you.
All right.
While Hassan's looking, I do have an announcement to make.
Okay.
Name your price.
Yep.
Is coming back.
Thank God.
It is coming back, Will and I, and it's coming back in a big way.
We're going on tour.
And we are hitting three major cities.
Miami, Florida, October 7th.
Houston, Texas, October 29th.
And Long Beach, California, November 11th.
Tickets are on sale, NYPLive.com.
And Las Vegas.
That's not been announced yet, but just happened.
Maybe it could happen.
Maybe it could happen.
You want to bleep it?
We can bleep it.
No, it's fine.
Tickets are on sale.
It is going to be a hell of a show.
We've been working very, very hard on it.
I'm very excited.
And I just wanted to tell you guys.
So please come and join us.
Big guests going to be on there.
Hassan will be on one or two or three of the shows.
He'll be on most of the shows.
I'm on way.
Hold up.
Cutie will be on one of them as well, I'm sure.
When was I?
A lot of people be on the shows.
Very excited.
You say Austin's show never works, but I've been working hard.
Speaking of, well, he's finding that.
No, I already did.
Okay, great.
He can pull it up now.
Number one thing that I want to address really quickly before we get to Mormon memes and whatnot.
This is Taylor Swift, but also conspiracy related.
I have a new one for you guys.
A new Taylor Swift conspiracy.
It's the Instagram post, not that one.
And this is an actual whopper, okay?
This is a banger.
This is a whopper.
This is probably real.
I want to know.
Oh, is this a witchcraft?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Let's just watch.
You would know about it already because you're...
Wait, what the fuck?
Oh, no.
Witchcraft god.
All right, click, click right.
Click right.
The other one, click.
This is a sequence of videos.
So click.
Yeah.
That one might have.
No!
All of them.
The sounds have gone away.
We got to Google this.
We got to Google this.
Okay, so now you have to find it on TikTok then because...
This is stupid.
So what is it?
It's because remember when you saw, remember when she performs Willow?
I don't remember that.
And it's everyone with the orbs and they're like dancing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone says that's witchcraft.
Oh, for God's sake.
Yeah, because it is very...
So when she came out with the song Willow, she started doing these.
Well, she did it with, she's done it a lot.
She's kind of weird sometimes.
And this is probably my least favorite thing that she does.
She'll come out with songs and then she'll do like 12 different remixes of them.
She'll do like Wildest Dreams, but like you're at a bar.
So it's like Willow, but the witchy version.
And it's like.
And people are accusing her of witchcraft.
That's fine.
That's good.
So then at the concert, she has everyone come out in cloaks and they're like dancing and blah, blah, blah.
And so they're accusing her of witchcraft.
Hopefully she's just.
No, Don't try to fucking.
Is she just a theater kid?
This away.
No, no, no.
She is.
Taylor Swift wants crowd to chant Summon the Demons.
No, she doesn't.
Let's watch this.
I have to talk.
Yes!
Summon the Demons!
This is Taylor Swift's song, Willow, where she is a witch doing rituals.
So the first video that you saw was taken by a fan the other night at the concert, and he says, yes, summon the demons B.
The worst part is she commented twice.
No, what?
And she says, is this the new 1, 2, 3, let's go B?
So she's saying, is Summon the Demons the new crowd chant that they say when she does this witchcraft ritual?
And then below, she just comments laughing emojis.
She said, um.
It's pretty comical to me that people keep saying, stop shoving Christianity down our throat.
She's comical.
When you get the world, society, huge artists, movies, everything is shoving witchcraft and rituals.
Why are you laughing?
This girl is shoving it down our throat.
And God forbid she's a little bit of a drink.
Did you leave the church because you got into the devil?
Yeah, I did.
I did.
No.
God, it's what pisses me off.
These Christians are like, confirmed, some of you Jesus love you.
It's like, wait, how are we stopping this?
There's more to it.
There's more to it.
What do you mean?
Taylor Swift and Kanye Drama00:07:31
You're just going to are you?
You're just going to.
What the fuck is going on, Marge?
Marge just fucking clicked away.
He just clicked away because it's just too much truth.
This is too much truth.
It's fair.
Address this right now.
She's a psycho.
She's a theater kid.
No, not Taylor.
This woman's a psycho.
No.
No.
She's on.
She knows what's going on.
The Willow performance is based off of the Willow music video.
So that's why.
No, no, no, because Evermore and folklore are very like Evermore and folklore.
Folklore came out first and it's supposed to be like folk songs and like stories that get passed on and on and on and it's the first time that she's written about like not her life and they're actually stories and they're like it's really interesting and evermore is kind of an extension of that so then it's like when you're in a cottage in the middle of nowhere it's like okay well what next so then willow became like a little witchy song and then this became a little like banjo song and then this became a this song like so everything has its own themes Ah yeah,
so Willow is just the witchy song.
So Willow just she chose Satanism as a theme and witchcraft.
That's what you're saying to me.
No, it's what a theme.
Watch the music video.
We could watch the music video.
I don't think witchcraft is bad.
Oh.
Wow.
I'm gay.
I'm already like, what's the problem?
I mean, like, what are they going to do?
Send me to hell again?
You know what I mean?
I think I've seen this.
It's definitely not a new chant.
I've been to more concerts than anyone in this room.
Oh, so Summon the Demon is a chant.
It's not new.
It's an old chant.
No, it's not a chant.
You just admitted that it's an old chant.
I didn't hear one person say it besides that guy recording that video.
Yeah.
Well, why did Taylor Swift respond to that guy and say, is this the 1-3?
Because 1-2-3, let's go back.
When the concert first started back in March, people were accusing her of witchcraft during that.
And so he probably made that TikTok to be funny.
And then she's acknowledging, like, people are crazy.
Yeah.
You know what's not funny?
Witchcraft.
I know you want to believe this, so I will let you.
Okay, thank you.
Because also, her...
I remember seeing this on TikTok.
This was a crazy conspiracy.
This woman was like, yeah, Taylor Swift's mom got cancer, but she didn't die for the Illuminati.
So she had to turn to witchcraft.
God, these are like fucking maggots.
Okay, I love that.
Instead of just saying it, why don't you find the TikTok?
I don't know, because it was from literally like a year ago.
When you see TikToks like this, please, you know, filter them for me because I would love to see them.
I don't watch TikTok.
Well, I only do TikTok time on the Patreon, but I don't really watch TikTok.
After all is considered, I will allow the witchcraft.
Okay.
Because one of my favorite artists of all time, Stevie Nicks, is the white witch.
Oh.
Notice they never accuse men of witchcraft.
Yeah, because they accused him of wizardry.
Wasn't Lil Wizardry.
Wasn't Lil Nas X like legit a devil in one of his music videos?
Oh, yeah.
Lil Nas X famously wasn't criticized for that.
Good example you could have pulled.
He's gay and black.
He definitely was criticized.
No, he got away with it.
Yeah.
He most certainly gave a demon a blowjob in a music video.
Yeah.
No one got mad at this is the end when the demon fornicates multiple people.
Holy shit.
I don't remember that.
That's a bad movie.
It actually, the ending of that movie was so bad.
I mean, also, as far as like being canceled, I feel like Taylor Swift is not exactly a great example to use.
No.
Because she's at her feet.
She's never been canceled.
Oh, yeah, she has.
Wait, for what?
You didn't know this?
What is Taylor Swift been canceled for?
Oh, my God.
This is so fun.
Okay, let's hear.
Oh, shoot.
I just said we couldn't talk about Taylor Swift.
Okay, come on.
It sent her into hide.
Like, she was in hiding.
It was that bad.
Number one, hashtag Taylor's Overparty was the number one trending hashtag.
Why would she do why?
She finally admitted that she's a white supremacist?
No.
No.
What happened was Kanye came out with this song, I made that bitch famous, right?
And before then, so before Reputation was 1989, which is coming out right now.
Taylor's version.
Taylor's version.
Was 1989.
And, you know, that was when she was in like her, she was hanging out with only models.
And so people are like, oh, she's so stupid.
And she's a bimbo.
And she only hangs out with models.
And she's a slut because, and so they're all critical.
And they're just like waiting for something to pounce on this woman because she's a successful woman.
So you just wait and just tear her apart, tear apart, tear apart, tear apart.
Finally, her and Kanye had like patched things up.
Kanye calls her on a phone and was like, hey, I have this song, blah, blah, blah.
Can I release it?
And she's like, the actual conversation went like, it has a lot of like misogynistic messages.
I'm not really comfortable being associated with the song, blah, blah, blah.
But like, thanks for calling me, blah, And then he comes out with the song where he says, Taylor Swift and I still might have sex.
Why?
Because I made that bitch famous.
And then in the music video.
That track was a heater.
Yeah, it was really good.
That's the biggest problem.
In the music video, he even has like deep fake porn of her, essentially.
He has a wax figure of her naked in the bed with him, which is like totally not like, that's just not okay.
Like, I didn't even know that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't either.
Yeah, you guys were fucking singing it.
You know, that's the worst part about it is that like, I get why someone would not be comfortable with that.
Totally valid.
But if it's a banger, then it makes it so much worse because everyone's just like, no one thinks about it.
They're just like, yeah, fuck that.
And so then Taylor Swift comes out with a statement that's like, hey, I said, like, I wasn't okay with this.
Like, I don't know what's going on.
And then Kim Kardashian releases a recording of the phone call.
And she was like, no, you did approve of it.
Turns out 10 years later, we find out that that recording was edited by Kim, but no one believed Taylor at the time.
And she was like, that's not what really happened.
Like, what is going on?
What is going on?
How did we find out that it was edited?
It got leaked eventually.
Like the fourth one.
The real one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So fuck.
So someone had it.
Oh, not Taylor, though.
Yeah.
Kim, yeah, because Kim recorded it.
And so Kim called Taylor a snake.
And then the whole world started calling Taylor this snake and was just getting on her for absolutely everything that she's like they've ever wanted to criticize for her.
It was just finally that point where it's like, okay, here's a time to take down this.
I remember this.
And it was like, it was bad, like so bad.
Because she was, she was a, you know, she became a singer when she was like 12.
And from the age 13, her goal was like to make people happy.
And then you have the entire world tearing you apart like so dramatically after years and years and years.
Yeah.
Years and years and years of just like only trying to satisfy people and make them like you.
And all of a sudden no one likes you all because of something that didn't even happen and no one believes you.
Like, and so then she, she had to like go into hiding because it was so bad.
She took time off the internet, like all this stuff.
And then that's when she took that time off the internet and wrote Reputation, which is her most snappy album.
Like it's just, it's pretty fucking good.
I love Reputation.
And she wrote that all taking on like, okay, if people think I'm a snake, then here it is.
Like, I'll be that snake.
And then it was like that guy.
It was, it was pretty good.
Reputation is like one of her best albums.
You know.
But it got the least amount of like critically acclaimed because people don't like when you're self-aware, right?
Years of Trying to Please Everyone00:13:51
Like, you know what I'm saying?
I've been learning about Taylor Swift is that like when you listen to her lyrics, you really, I'm serious.
And you may think I'm just pandering here, but I've really started to connect with Taylor Swift.
I've been listening to a lot of people.
That's what and that's what that's what that's why she's so popular.
Her music is so relatable.
Relatable.
Yeah.
So relatable to so many different people.
If you are not a lyric or like if you don't listen to music for lyrics, then you won't like Taylor Swift.
Yeah, you have to listen to what she's saying.
You have to, if you only, if you're like a story, if you like reading, if you like stories, if you like having, like, this sounds stupid, but she's been able to put my feelings into words better than I can.
And so that's why it's like, that's why a lot of women like Taylor Swift.
I would agree with that, right?
Well, I just have different feelings.
Yeah, he has a lot of different feelings.
I think it's like, it's like, it's like Batman trying to relate to a care bear.
I feel like you just have cuter feelings than I do.
Fair.
You might like reputation.
I know you think I'm pandering, but I legit have been listening to Taylor Swift.
I believe you.
And I was really genuinely upset when she played one of my favorites at in Mexico City.
Which is called.
Oh, fuck.
What was it?
I lost my train of thought.
Brain fart.
And how does it go?
Oh, God.
It was.
It was such an interesting song that he said was his favorite.
God damn it.
I'm having a brain fart.
You have to understand.
My brain doesn't work very well.
Let me just look real quick at my spot.
Call Tell Me Why.
Yeah, tell me why.
Yeah.
That's not how it goes.
That's the best thing.
He's doing stolen.
So, what else is going on in the world?
Okay, what are your LDS memes?
Okay, so that one is also Latter-day Saints.
We're going to have a hard time pulling this stuff up if the audio doesn't work because it's pulled up off of Instagram for the most part.
But I just don't hilarious.
Can you find that in the group chat or no?
You can't.
And then pull it up, send it to yourself, pull it up, that sort of thing.
But anyway, yes, Taylor got Omega canceled and it was at the bottom of it was like a very bad thing for her.
She's not well.
To answer your question, Hassan.
I did not realize.
Oh, God damn.
Oh, you fucked up.
Yeah.
Look, I love this one.
So this is proof that having fun doesn't have to be linked to sin smile.
I've seen him on Grinder.
Why is he doing that thing with his nose?
So then it's just like, let's look at more of this guy.
Let's look at more of this guy because he just kind of got on my Explore page due to this.
And I realized like, this guy's awesome.
I mean, he's incredible.
He's gutted.
He's just.
It's crazy.
How religious you are.
Sex sells.
You know, there's thousands of gay men that follow this guy.
Yeah.
He's a bit of a butterface.
You know what he reminds me of?
Oh, that's not nice.
Yeah, he is.
He is awesome.
He is.
Sorry.
Girls, I hope you know your worth.
You don't need makeup, fancy designer, or to show your body to feel appreciated.
Smile.
That's it.
I like that.
He's got great takes, he has got great takes.
When Adam was lonely, God gave him one woman, not 10.
Okay.
Wow, so sweet of him.
Why does he always walk and do a little twirl?
You are so special that Jesus was willing to suffer and die on the cross for all your sins.
What's he doing?
Have you guys seen the Australian guy who's like who has like the mic right here?
And he's not Australian.
Listen, ladies.
Yes.
If your man is looking at Instagram for other women, he doesn't deserve you.
You need to know you're a queen and I would appreciate you.
Yeah, no, no.
He's so he's not Australian.
He's like Dutch or something.
What?
Yeah.
He has the most fucked up accent.
I know exactly.
He's yoked.
Yeah, could you?
He's like, don't call me up to go to Zapati.
Fellas, if you're going out to a party and you don't want to work out next day, I just couldn't be like you.
Our lives are too different.
Yeah, he's like, don't invite me out to Zapati.
I like to work out.
And the only party in my mind is for.
Yeah, no, no.
He doesn't.
You're right.
So were boys like that?
When you grow up?
I'm not the Latter-day Saints, though, because Zach Wilson is a Mormon.
So Zach Wilson.
Quarterback.
Jets back.
That makes sense.
A lot of footballers.
I'm trying to see if he comes up on my score page.
But there's this very cute Scottish guy that does the same thing on TikTok.
He'll just be like, I can't do a Scottish accent, but he'll just say really sweet things.
He'll be like, remember that?
You're beautiful.
And it's like, oh, okay.
Wait, so you like him?
The Scottish guy.
He's not like yoked or full of himself.
He's like very normal looking.
But that guy just happens to be that women like.
Yeah.
So you wait, they actually like you.
Like women like this kind of stuff when they're not.
I don't like him.
Not that guy, but if that was the Scottish guy saying Jesus loves you, would you be like, Yeah, I'd be like, if you did.
And scroll over.
I wish I could do it.
I mean, you can find the Scottish guy.
No, you're the same.
You just want a different messaging.
Yeah.
If it was a cute twink calling you the F word, what?
You'd be like, I mean, I do like.
It'll show up if you keep scrolling.
I'm not saying I like to be called it, but sometimes I like it.
If it was a cute twink, just being like, Jesus thinks you're an F word.
And then touching his nips, you'd be like, bookmark.
It is kind of, I do see, I do.
Dang it.
I can't find someone.
I've seen another once while I'm like, that's weird that I like that.
I can't find the cute Scottish guy.
I saw some weird shit.
I want to find our guy, Will, but I can't like, and I'm sure Leah has like posted him before.
I think you could just type in like these guys are innovation.
No, no, no, no.
Keep going down.
There's she definitely is posted.
Oh, there it is.
On the right.
On this middle row, right?
Yes.
That's our guy.
No, no, above, above, above.
That's the guy.
That's our guy.
This dude is hilarious.
Okay.
Guys, watch this.
I found a new hat, but I'm scared to wear this new hat because I thought I would wear my last one forever, but it ended up lasting.
I wish I missed that hat.
It was my favorite hat.
So his name is Timon Kriek.
Timon Kriek.
You got to hear what he says, dude.
Dude, the stuff.
He just speaks the truth, my man.
That's what he does.
Literally any video.
Jesus Over Everything.
Let's look at his description first, okay?
This man's name is Timon Kriek.
Jesus Over Everything, small town kid chasing big city dreams.
I help people become CEOs and influencers.
He's more followers than me, so I could use his help.
Yeah.
So I can't be talking about it.
Look, go down and like see if there's what his videos pop, but like there's going to be one that has like a million.
The one with his hands up, he's definitely talking in that one.
100%.
No, over one.
Right.
There.
Yeah, that one.
Damn, we need one where he's talking.
Yeah, his fucking accent.
I'm all right.
That's not him.
It came out okay.
Kevin Hart.
No, no, no, no.
Just go down.
Because he walks with the with the like he's he's a walk and talker, okay?
And it seems like he's mostly thirst trapping now, but he started off.
He gained a lot of popularity because he was all over the Explore page because it would, he would do this thing where he would like walk and talk.
Nope, not that one.
God damn it.
He posts so much.
He posts literally non-fucking stops.
But anything over a million, he probably talks in.
God damn it.
All right, go on YouTube, see if you can find some.
Nah, find some on YouTube.
There's gotta be.
I'm so mad that we can't find like his bangers.
His bangers are like...
You gotta hear his accent.
It's kind of like.
I'm trying to find my cute Scottish guy.
Oh, let's go out this weekend.
That's the famous one.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
This guy's the best.
This inspired me.
He's the best.
Bro, let's go out this weekend.
There's a crazy event happening.
There'll be a ton of chicks.
Let's just go have fun and let go a little.
Yeah, that ain't my kind of fun.
It's not.
You know what's fun for me?
Waking up early, hitting the gym, spending time with my creator, building the life I desire, and more importantly, becoming a better version of myself every damn day.
So if your kind of fun is getting shit-faced over the weekend, that's cool.
He's understood.
We don't do that over here.
He's like, we're focused on God, goals, and growth.
Dude, he's the fucking best.
Fuck, yeah.
So I relate to that.
Does this not speak to you?
You're looking at that because you're so horned up.
You're like, this is the sexiest man you've ever seen.
Do all those muscles do anything?
Because they don't do much for me.
They don't do anything for me.
Me neither.
You guys don't appreciate God and meeting your creator.
No, because you guys are about going out on the weekend getting shit faced.
Yeah, I don't know.
We don't do that.
We don't do that.
Yeah.
I'm about waking up early in the morning and meeting God.
I mean, that the person you see is actually Hassan.
What?
Yeah, you never wake up early.
Bro, Hassan is up at like 7:30 in the morning.
Yeah, and he's meeting my creator.
Yeah, he's up for 7:30 in the morning.
I'll work nights.
You, you're up.
No, you work hard, don't get me wrong.
I'm up late, you gotta go.
I know what you mean.
Yeah, I'm covering the mornings.
He's covering the nights.
We make sure God is worshipped round the clock.
He doesn't.
Hassan doesn't party.
Like, you do it all.
Right?
You do it all.
I do it all.
I'm in everything.
Yeah, you potty a little bit.
You can't find gold when you potty.
I'm just saying.
You don't party not because you have a relationship with God.
You party because you fucking hate it and you're curmudging.
Okay.
Well, it's because it's because God's not there when I'm potty.
It's true.
Also, he does sound Australian.
You're right.
Or like South Africanism.
I'm making ourselves better every single day.
Yeah.
Building.
Yeah.
We like building.
Like building.
Yeah.
That seems so miserable.
He's got more.
Like, he's just got really funny.
I feel like you guys don't appreciate him.
I'm trying to find him.
I don't appreciate him.
We found the video and they were just like stone cold.
I'd see if Austin likes mine.
Oh, the guy.
Yeah, he's so nice.
I'm trying so hard to find this nice Scottish guy.
Yeah.
Isn't he?
And like, why is he so hard to find?
You have to re-download TikTok.
I did.
Doesn't have it on her.
Go to your likes.
Do you like his?
It's going to be funny because it's like not even going to be worth.
Yeah, it's going to be a Scottish.
I know.
That's why.
Yeah.
I deserve the world on the side of the boat.
I've liked him too.
I like him more than I've got.
I like August.
He's like, brown hair and he's like, he's like, you're cute.
He's like, quit.
He's like, put your chin up.
Yeah.
I've seen that guy.
He's on my For You page, too.
He's like, he's like, what you, what you, what you, why?
What you, why?
I don't understand why that's like little girl, put your chin up.
Okay, all jokes aside, like, keep fascinated by that guy because he's a fucking insane person.
Look, look up, hot.
You guys actually.
You guys actually.
I don't understand.
I can't find it.
So you do.
You are the market for this kind of thing for this guy only.
Wait, that's.
Because he's so nice.
Chin up, Scottish guy.
Look up chin up, Scottish guy, hot, sexy.
A lot of buzzwords.
Yeah.
A lot of buzzwords.
Chin up.
Scottish hot TikTok.
Yes.
This is your search history.
Oh, no.
It's limited.
It's very nice.
No, it's not.
It's not.
He's hottie as limit.
Hold on, scroll down.
Look up famous Scottish TikTokers.
You know what's dog?
What are you saying?
You know what's fucked up?
Famous Scottish Tottenham.
Both of them have a hot, nice Scottish guy right in front of them.
And just because I don't have the accent, they'll never know you're Scottish.
How do you know I'm not Scottish?
Oh, do I got something?
I'm gone.
Yeah.
I look like the Highlands of Scottish.
I have not.
This guy has a lot of people.
Yeah, but you're too Scottish.
He's brown haired.
Yeah, exactly.
They want it, but they don't want it to be that exotic.
You know what I mean?
I never even knew you were Scottish.
You're everything.
I'm Scottish.
He's Scottish.
That's right.
Yeah, you know what?
I'd be like the brutal stuff.
I wouldn't be like the cute, like, chin up.
I'd be like, chin up, loss.
Get your fucking chin up.
No, you'd be like, it's time for God.
God's in the gym.
If you're out of the weekend, I'm not.
I just couldn't be.
I think I might have found it.
I need time with my creator.
Oh, she found him?
I might have.
Oh, no, that is not.
Michael Jackson.
I clicked on him.
It didn't take me to him.
Well, because I sent it to this.
And so I thought.
You must have sent something else.
No, I didn't.
DM it to March on Discord.
And maybe it deleted it.
Did you fall for any of this shit on TikTok?
No.
Oh, I fall for it in a major way.
Like, not even remotely, which is why I'm shocked.
I might have just thirst traps.
When I see stuff like that, I'm always like, who the fuck is like looking at this unironically?
Like, who is the intended audience?
Which is why I'm actually really excited to find this one Scottish guy because I want to understand.
Like, I want to pick it apart.
I want to pick your brains apart a little bit.
You know what kind of hits me in a weird way sometimes?
Lip sync videos.
Oh, when Emma does them, I love them.
Who's Emma?
Langevin.
Langevin.
Oh, okay.
Langevin.
Langevin.
She does, she does lip sync.
Oh, there he is.
No, that's not him.
That's him, though.
That's the guy.
That's the guy I was talking about.
That's him.
I don't like him.
Look at him.
I like him.
There's two different Scottish guys that's doing motivational shit.
Sexiest accent.
What?
Scottish?
No, no, no.
What is the sexiest accent?
Oh.
Oh, come on.
That one's French.
Yeah, it's Parisian.
Really?
He's very good.
Also, I think he's very good.
Yeah, French is hot too.
There's something about Australian women.
Lip Sync Videos and Langevin00:11:01
Yeah.
Oh, Australian.
Oh, you're right.
I think they're a little too brash.
I've said this.
There's something going on in Australia.
Oh, yeah.
The per capita of hot people in Australia.
Something's off.
Yeah.
Something's weird.
Yeah.
You're right.
I think, like, as a culture, as a nation, they put a travel ban on fat people from Australia visiting the United States.
Wait, wait, really?
I don't know what's going on.
No, not really.
I'm talking.
I can't believe that.
But I thought for sure.
I can't find him.
But for some reason, like...
For some reason, weirdly enough, in Australia, it's always like their exports are just all sexy.
They're all surfers.
They're all fucking tan.
I don't know what the hell's going on.
I think it's a conspiracy.
I think it's just they get more sun naturally.
I think we just don't get enough sun in the United States.
I think we're all vitamin D deficient.
I'm definitely vitamin D deficient.
But something in Australia, they're just way hotter.
I take vitamin D. Me too.
We shop at Aritzia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I take vitamin D as well.
Cool.
That's great input.
She said for both of you guys.
So you guys kind of prove my point though.
You have to take vitamin D. You're not just getting enough of it.
Yeah, I don't get enough.
No, I don't either.
I do not take vitamin D, and I do get a lot of shit.
Yeah, but I also get enough sunlight because I work out in the mornings.
You're just all natural.
I walk my dog for two hours a day.
Yeah.
That's enough.
Two hours?
He's very hyperactive.
That is true.
In the morning, we do probably like a 45-minute walk to Starbucks.
He gets a puppuccino.
I get a coffee.
We go.
I do that too.
And then in the afternoon, we go to a dog park and I play with him for about 30 minutes and the walk is about 30 minutes.
Swift would not like that.
Swift would be like, no, thank you.
My cat.
Charlie will riot without it.
He'll start hitting stuff around the house.
Really?
He has a bell and I'll just start slapping it and go, God damn.
Yeah.
This is why I have cats.
My dog is like a cat.
I just have to get up and let them out of the room.
I appreciate it though, because it gets me out of the house.
That's smart.
My dog and I have a good.
Yeah, that's the difference between having a dog versus bad that you have a companion.
You only had one LDS meme.
That's what this was all about.
No, the LDS memes that I went down on the rabbit hole on, I didn't like, I didn't pick apart every single one, but you didn't make a playlist.
We've been all over the place.
I did not make a playlist.
This has been a good podcast.
Absolutely.
I mean, those are the best ones.
ADHD podcast.
We all have ADHD, I'm pretty sure.
People do, like.
Well, but go to the LDS.
Like, just look up hashtag LDS and it will come up.
No, that's not the one.
Look, just go to the Instagram.
Whoa, whoa, your tone, right now?
Yeah.
Chill out.
Right there.
Oh.
Yeah.
Come on.
Those are all the.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Yeah, just click on the LTS hashtag and let's look at it.
Oh, it was uh, I think it was called like I think I followed the account.
It's called like Christian News or something.
Oh my god, there's White Jesus.
I love white Jesus.
I already told you guys this, and you already agreed to it to be auctioned off, right?
Yeah.
Like as a human?
When, where, what?
October 1st.
Okay, what am I being auctioned for?
A date.
Sex, fuck.
Nobody's going to pay you.
Do I have to physically be there?
Yeah.
Are there random people?
No, only streamers are there.
Yeah, it's the gala.
You can check your calendar.
I'm going to be there.
So another streamer is going to buy a date with me?
Yeah.
I wonder who it's going to be.
Probably one of these two.
I think Austin would buy.
So you don't think any attractive?
That's fucked up.
Maybe your girlfriend?
Hassan, will you bid for me?
Maybe.
Fuck no.
Will you bid for me, my date?
Absolutely not.
He's going to have such a complex if no one buys.
I'm definitely.
I will have a complex.
I think it's way funnier.
Look, Will's just leaving.
Where are you going, Will?
Checking his calendar.
No one wants me.
Well, I just told you a list of people that would buy you.
Look, you know who would buy me?
Blau.
Blau.
You think Blau Stoys will buy you?
Or Ludwig?
Do you think with the amount of money he has, like the limited amount of money he has, he's putting it on his phone?
Blau broke.
He's putting it out on you and not me.
Number one.
My first person that I have locked in is Slime, and I feel like Slime is going to be a bidding war between Hassan and Ludwig.
This is going to be humiliating because Hassan is going to get so much bigger bid for his date than mine.
That's not true.
It's all for charity.
And he knows that, and that's why he's gearing up so that like someone would.
That's why he's checking his calendar.
Yeah, okay.
You're smiling under those fucking glasses, you bitch.
No, when his bid is double mine, check my calendar right now.
Do you want to go before him?
I have an analog calendar on my desk that I write everything on.
Oh.
That's insane.
You could just go before him.
I could auction you off before him.
That's even more humiliating.
Oh, what?
How much do you think people are going to pay for me?
Okay.
What?
How much do you think?
These are other streamers.
They can just ask you for a unit.
Hang out with them.
I feel like only men are going to bid on me.
I have a feeling that only men are going to bid in general.
Will is setting this up so that he gets like fat donos.
It would be crazy.
It would be crazy for like it to be like, okay, Will's for auction for a picnic date, blah, blah, blah.
And you go on stage, you strut your stuff, and then all of this Meung stands up and she's like 10K and Caroline's just sitting there watching.
That's what I want.
I want women going crazy.
Okay, well, let me know who to invite to cause the drama.
Yeah, you can tell me.
Oh, I'm going to go all out on the date then.
Well, it has to be streamable.
So I'll set you up with a cameraman and the person.
Ooh, I want the Abbey.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Not streamable.
Not streamable?
I don't know if you can stream.
Yeah.
Also, who the fuck wants to go to the Abbey?
Why don't you just do like pottery with Austin?
Look, I have not been asking to go to the Abbey that much lately.
You say that?
You say that every time.
My date is going to be a full neuro-massage.
Damn it.
He's fine.
All right.
Well, you look at your calendar.
You let me know.
Let me know who I can invite to cause some drama.
Let me know if you have an arch.
What kind of date would make the ladies go absolutely crazy for me?
Painting and wine.
Like a ticket to an at the beach.
Oh, it has to be streamable.
It has to be streamable.
Wine and painting at the beach.
Ludwig's getting auctioned off too.
So if Caroline's mad, let her know that I'm also auctioning people off that are not.
I may buy that date.
Really?
Yeah.
What is he auction?
I don't know.
He wants to do pottery.
That's why I keep using pottery as an example.
I bet Caroline would get more money than I would.
What?
Really?
Do you think men?
I think men would bid on Caroline.
What men?
These are the men going.
Look at the room.
Ludwig.
You think Ludwig's going to buy Caroline?
Sure.
That would be so funny.
What about me?
It's just like $15.
I'm asking girls, too.
So there'll be like probably seven boys and seven girls that'll get auctioned off.
So how many dollars are you auctioning?
Currently, I've only asked Fusley, but I'll probably ask Ray.
And I'm debating if I should auction off myself.
I may bid on Caroline.
I think I might do like a cooking lesson with me, a baking lesson with me.
I might ask extra Emily.
You know what the funniest thing is?
Do you think anybody's actually going to go on these dates?
No, because you guys are assholes, but I'll do my very best to make them happen.
You don't have, like, if someone on some...
We're assholes.
We're selling our bodies.
Yeah, you're selling.
No, no, no.
No, because this is what's going to happen.
Hassan's going to buy a motorcycle date with slime or something where they learn how to ride Vespas or something like that.
And so that sounds awesome.
Yeah.
And so you would get to stream your date with slime.
And then we rub it in loaded weeks.
And so what would happen?
Right off into the sunset.
As soon as the event is over, I'll throw Hassan, Slime, and myself in a Discord DM.
And I'll say, when do you want to do this date?
You guys give me a date.
I'll set it up.
I'll give you a cameraman.
There you go.
But there are a lot more participants in the crowd is what you're saying.
So there's going to be more people.
There's going to be like 100 people there.
Yeah, there's going to be more streamers that are bidding than the actual streamers that are participating in the gala.
Yeah, there's only well, everyone who's coming.
Can bid.
Everyone, yeah, everyone who's coming.
And also, you guys all have to bring something to donate, a physical thing to donate, and that will go on auction for viewers on a website.
Wait, after you're in the middle of the day.
You just got her.
I didn't fuck.
I'd never fucked it.
It is an art doll.
You just caught her.
You are, you front.
Walked into my house.
Dog, it is not an art doll.
My hand.
It is not an art doll.
You walked into my streamer.
And slapped her tits around.
I did not.
I did more than that.
Did you fuck your sex doll?
No.
She 100% fucked it.
If I had a sex doll, even if it was, I'd fuck your sex doll.
I would try it.
First of all, she has incredible breast disease.
I must say.
I'm surprised you haven't tried it.
I wouldn't.
I would try it.
He's lying when he says he hasn't tried it.
No, I haven't.
What do you mean?
His mom is alive.
I know, but like, if she was.
I have not fucked the art doll.
He's capping.
I don't believe him.
You can't donate her.
Why not?
Wouldn't you be sad?
Of her.
Yeah, you fucking her.
I'm like sad.
This is getting weird for me.
You can't just donate her.
That's why he's getting uncomfortable.
I'll be honest.
I think she has knees, and I think you need to fuck her.
Oh, needs.
I thought you said knees.
I was like, she does not.
Does she have knees?
I don't remember.
You need to fuck her.
Does she have knees?
She has knees.
Oh, yeah.
Then you gotta fuck her.
She's got knees.
Does she have feet?
Yes.
Yeah.
Is she full-bodied?
Yeah.
She has a vagina.
She does have a pussy.
I can tell you.
I saw it.
Did you grab it?
Yes.
I did then.
I 100% did.
Wait, I'm going to go.
I want to meet your doll.
Did you put your fingers in it?
Ew.
What did it feel like?
No.
I touched her boobs.
A lot of people touched her boobs.
Wait, I'm going to...
I didn't know you had that.
I'm coming over.
Why did you get so aggressive when you asked if I put my fingers in your sex doll?
If you don't care about her.
I thought you didn't care about her.
I thought you were ready to give her up.
If you don't care about this inanimate object, you definitely don't care about it.
I've said this is Schrodinger's art doll.
As long as no one fucks it, it is an art doll.
It is only until someone fucks that doll that it becomes a sex doll.
Yeah.
Create art on this.
Is that?
Okay.
This dude's fucking twinks now and now he refers to his loads as creating art.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I respect it.
It's beautiful and it's natural.
Thank you.
Beautiful and natural.
It's beautiful and natural.
Like subscribing to the Patreon because we are moving on to behind the paywall.
That's right.
If you want to see, because this is going to get way worse.
Schrodinger's Art Doll00:01:50
Oh, we are about to, we are about to lay hands on the stream.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it's about to get real bad.
Oh, if you want to see, start it right now.
If you want to see what that's about, go to patreon.com/slash fear end and subscribe so you can get access to more content, including QD Cinderella's TikTok playlists and the occasional Wilnef Spotify playlist.
Yep.
And Austin Show has done nothing for the Patreon.
Why don't you post your shirtless pics on the page?
You didn't do the show.
Awesome show has done nothing and he just claims he's going to do something.
I'm going to do it.
I promise.
I'm getting, I'm fielding DMs or something.
There's a lot of wait, wait, hold on.
That I was waiting on a san for, which is I don't even care.
I said whatever.
He gave the green lights, so now we're moving forward with that.
I'm like, I we're selling advertising.
We'll talk about this on the Patreon.
Bye.
I keep the word.
Are you sure?
Keep going.
Just keep singing.
Just keep singing.
Keep singing.
Go.
Just keep singing.
All thunder only happens when it's raining.
Rain comes down and wake my fears.
Let it wash away my sanity.
In the river.
In the rain.
In the rain.
I'm drowning.
Keep going.
And this is where the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world.