QTCinderella and the Fear & RoadRage hosts dissect a Taylor Swift brunch betrayal, Cutie's aggressive response to a honking driver, and her $886 fake diamond ring. They debate lifestyle choices, including Austin's Starbucks routine and a "fuck off" challenge, while addressing stalker emails and Muppet Babies' trans representation. The episode concludes with banter about physical appearances, the Abbey, and Cutie's health metrics, ultimately exploring how perceived toxicity cultivates their unique fanbase amidst broader cultural outrage. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Nutty Episode Intro00:11:04
Here we go.
Welcome to another episode of Fear And featuring your favorite hosts, Hassan Piker, Will Neff, Austin Show.
Oh, we started.
And Cutie Cinderella.
Touching me.
Okay.
This is going to be a nutty episode.
It's going to be a nutty episode.
Absolutely.
I've got some water.
I'm hydrating.
Austin's drunk.
Jesus.
Will's dressed to the fucking nines.
Why are you dressed nicely?
Cutie Cinderella is here.
Okay, I'm going to be here.
I'm usually here for the record.
Okay.
Cutie Cinderella is here.
This is basically...
Yeah, no, no days off.
This is basically, you know, the post-mortem Taylor Swift episode.
You didn't talk about it with Leslie?
We talked about it with Leslie a little bit, but we thought that it would be so much.
But I saw the clip of what she said she does when she runs out of underwear.
That is not relatable to any woman I've ever met.
Really?
Yeah.
That blew my mind.
I know more girls that flip their underwear just like inside out when they run.
Putting a pad on to just putting a pad on?
Yeah, for context, Leslie last week on the podcast, she said she puts a pad on as a last resort when she runs.
She runs out of underwear.
I just go commando if I run out.
You know what's crazy is sometimes I do the same thing when I'm you put a pad?
You put a pad on?
I use a tampo.
That's so cool.
You really, you shove it in your butt.
Anyway, Leslie, that was crazy.
That was crazy.
We all have our things.
That was crazy.
I am starting to associate you with Taylor Swift.
I started?
No.
I hate your voice today for some reason.
Wait, what?
What about my voice?
I just woke up and decided I don't like you right now.
She woke up and shows violence.
I don't know.
Cutie, I like literally am so, ever since I went to the Taylor Swift concert, I'm so into Taylor Swift.
And you are like Taylor Swift to me now.
I'm like a big fan.
I'm not famous.
He's been in the shop cooking this up.
He's like, how can I appeal to Cutie and win her over again?
Cutie, I'd like to take it back a second.
I think you opened up a good vein of conversation.
Oh, is it?
Is it a good vein of conversation?
Betrayal?
No, I was going to say...
Do we think we need to address this?
What's the betrayal?
They're upset we went to brunch.
What did you guys do this morning?
Yeah.
Okay, we were literally in a group chat.
Any of you could have been like, oh, we'll come to brunch.
No, you said we are going to brunch, which means we were not invited.
Austin, you invite yourself to literally everything.
True.
How do you think you're on this podcast?
I certainly saw that message.
We already had two white men.
Look, look, I mean, look, you needed a gate.
You needed gay representation, and I was the closest you could get.
I'm pretty sure I'm pretty close to this.
Hassan doesn't ostracize himself from the gay community by bashing every single gay man he comes into contact with.
I'm the only one that stuck around.
I feel like being mean to you today.
I don't know what it is.
I feel like being mean to him every day because it's valid.
It's so valid.
Usually I'm not.
Everybody loves the segment of Fear End where they open the podcast by bashing me.
Yeah.
Little old-fashioned gay bashing.
Little old-fashioned fair bash.
That's for college.
That's not real.
What do you guys got for me today?
What Austin showed me?
I have so much.
I have so much.
I'm holding it in.
I'm going to get to it.
Oh, he's going to get to it.
I have so much for this week.
But before we do that, so how was betrayal, Brun?
Oh, my God.
You guys are so cringe.
I'm looking at the group chat.
What was the...
My phone didn't show right.
No.
How is it phrased in the group chat?
Will said, Cutie and I are going to Taylor Swift brunch.
No, I said that.
Okay.
Yeah.
And Will said, why would you leak that?
That's for us only.
Oh, did you say that, Will?
I might have.
Yep.
He did say that.
And also, you didn't correct him and go, no, it's for everybody.
Yeah, but also, no, no, no, no.
I said, Will and I are going to Taylor Swift breakfast tomorrow.
And he said, why did you tell them?
Yeah.
He didn't say like, why did you tell them no one can come?
And then Hasan.
See, you said, Will and I are going to Taylor Swift breakfast.
Let's scroll back a few days when I say, does anyone want to come see my stand-up next week?
I only have a few seats.
And then no one said they wanted to see me.
And excuse me, Austin show immediately after saying, what day is it?
Because I was out of town during this time.
And then you didn't say anything.
I'm out of town.
It's next week.
I'm out of town next week.
I'm going to be in Florida.
Okay.
I'm working.
Austin said, Omergy Mauricio said, they just making shit up now.
And Will very quickly changed the conversation and was like, ha ha, they didn't know that it was real.
And basically went, what time do we record tomorrow?
I also want to play some pickleball.
Now, let me ask you a question.
How many days in advance did you set up this Taylor Swift brunch situation?
The day before.
Okay.
Let me ask you a second question.
Was I not available?
Was he not available?
How did you set up the Taylor Swift Brunch question?
You're telling me you would have skipped your stream to drive to Tarzana to get a Taylor Swift themed pancake.
Interesting.
Or we had to wait in line for two hours.
Interesting that you just brought that up because I wasn't actually doing...
I wasn't streaming this morning.
You would have waited in line for two hours.
You would have been complaining.
I would have waited in line for five hours.
It is so annoying.
Yeah, I guess.
I guess you are all forgazy.
Okay, can I say something?
I guess we'll never know because I wasn't invited.
Can I say something?
If somebody's got to wait in line for two hours, Hassan's the bigger diva.
100%.
I would stand in line for two hours for something.
Austin, you're drunk on the podcast.
But it's true.
Listen, this motherfucker was.
20 minutes ago.
He would give it up.
20 minutes ago.
Have you traveled with this guy?
I watched this man toast a piece of bread for himself in the kitchen.
Yes.
And you came flying across the kitchen and stole a piece of bread.
Slammed your upper body onto the kitchen island just to grab the piece of toast.
I will say that, but Will, you also stole a piece.
No, I actually technically toasted it for everybody, but it doesn't matter because you didn't let anyone else have it.
Oh, so when Will takes it, the straight guy, it's taking a piece of, no, it's rightly his, but when I take it, stealing it still.
The point is, Will kept cutting smaller pieces of the toasted bread so that everyone could enjoy the toasted bread.
You, you literally fucking Wilk Chamberlain style, like slam dunked onto the table to grab the bread in the comment section and let no one else have it.
Chat, we're not live.
Let me tell you something.
Don't you.
You don't even know what it's like to be live.
Don't you ever.
It's true.
Don't you.
Oh, it's everybody against me today, isn't it?
Look, don't you.
No, it's all in your head.
Let me tell you something, all right?
Let me tell you something.
He had a whole loaf of bread and it's still sitting there.
He had plenty of bread to toast.
Don't you listen to his lies.
What?
Yeah, I was toasting it for everybody, but like the toaster only takes a couple slices at a time, Austin.
Sometimes I'm a little hungry.
You also ate all the macaroons.
Fucking sue me.
I was hungry.
You sat there, drunkenly ate all the macaroons while accounting for every single thing that you've eaten today.
You're like, oh, God, I ate all the chips.
Is it a crime to be hungry?
At the Abbey, I ate all the chips.
I didn't eat any chips.
I had a bad day.
Today you're dressed like John Travolta from Greece.
Oh, no.
Cutie is not.
Cutie's got daggers.
Cutie and I were friends before this podcast.
To Austin and Cutie in the box.
There was 20 other people in the book.
Oh!
Okay, okay, let's talk about that.
So, so your experience.
The podcast is going to be mad if we talk about Taylor Swift.
They hate when we talk about Taylor Swift.
I agree with Cutie.
This is like a pivotal.
I'm going to talk more much about Taylor Swift.
This is a pivotal moment.
It is my Super Bowl, but I understand some people hate my Super Bowl.
Just say it with your chest.
They hate women.
They hate women.
Yeah.
But like, some tea is that Carly Kloss was in the nosebleeds and no one is talking about.
Okay, there was a Taylor Swift celebrity account.
Didn't mention that Cutie, Cinderella, Austin, Show, and Ludwig were in the audience.
Charlie Kloss was there on the 9th.
You weren't there.
No, no, no, no.
He's talking about the night that you guys went.
We were there.
We weren't announced.
And there was a celebrity tracker of like, what celebrities are Swifties?
We were snowing.
So they know who will survive in the violent revolution.
So we're like, you guys are spared.
We were not represented in that tweet of celebrities.
We are not famous.
Well, yeah, but you know who is in there?
The cookie monster from the cookie monster is very famous.
You talk about C is for Googie?
Yeah, that guy.
That guy's way more famous than you.
Watch this.
That guy is so much more famous than Herodotus.
I heard he hooked up with Miranda Kerr one time.
Yeah.
He's got a big dick.
He ate Hersey.
He's got a big dick.
Yeah.
Huge.
I'm calling my stepdad.
Watch this.
You have a stepdad?
Yes.
This is important.
Is he Mormon?
God, this is crazy.
Real quick.
Sorry.
I need to call you more often, but I'm starting this by saying you're on a podcast right now.
Don't panic.
I have a quick question for you because we're surveying the general public and I figured you represented the general public.
Okay.
Okay.
Do you know who the cookie monster is?
Yes.
Do you know who Austin Show is?
Austin Show.
Do you know who that is?
No.
Okay.
Well, you know, Price, ask him if he knows Hasanabe.
Do you know?
Do you actually, do you know who Hasanabe is?
Or Hassan Piker or Hassan Piker?
He probably actually, Hassan, he probably hates you.
You're in the opposite political spectrum.
You know, you know, I hate Nancy Pelosi.
Tell him I hate Nancy Pelosi.
Hang on, you know, you know, you know, name your price and love her host, right?
Sorry.
No, okay.
It's okay.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'll call you tomorrow.
We can catch up.
That silence spoke volumes.
That silence spoke volumes.
He was like, who is this non-famous weirdo next to you?
He did say he also hates Nancy Pelosi.
My uncle also.
I didn't put together.
Which I'm still doing the math on.
How the fuck was the cookie monster at a Taylor Swift concert?
He's a big fan.
I don't know.
That's a Taylor Swift.
Puppet the entire time.
He was like, now we got bad.
The cookie monster.
Fuck Taylor Swift.
Yo, dude, honestly, I feel like that'd be the one guy that the fan base would finally be okay with.
Yeah, he's like not problematic.
I've been studying my Taylor Swift lore.
And I'm spitting some at Cutie yesterday.
She hates this.
It's like coming to the President of the United States and being like, do you know the First Amendment?
That's what he's been doing to me.
I'm like, yeah.
I've been like, to be fair, I told her about Taylor and her performance in Sydney.
Late Night Diner Date00:04:06
Sydney.
Yeah, she used the loot pedal.
She used the loop pedal that she learned from Ed Sheeran.
Dude, you are.
And she wrote this song.
You're such a fucking tryhard.
She doesn't like it.
You're trying hard.
In fact, I just bought a box for Miami.
No, you didn't.
You're at it.
They're not on sale yet.
I know.
I know.
Oh, my God.
Why do you know that?
Are you like going to go?
I'm going to go to Miami.
Not you.
You're not.
Cutie and I are going to Miami.
What list?
What is the list?
The list to see prices.
Cutie and I are going to Miami.
So you would drive there.
I would fly.
Woo!
Cutie, Cinderella.
Wait, you're fucked.
You're fucked.
Wait, why?
She's next year.
She's getting on a plane to go to the next one.
I'm in intense therapy.
I've got to be fixed by then.
Wait.
If she gets on a plane before you actually put a down payment on a house.
Wait, wait, I got to buy a house?
No, okay.
Okay.
Rent.
Rent.
Down payment on the rent.
Fucking deposit.
The goalpost is moved.
Okay, deposit for your rent.
I've got a few friends in West Hollywood.
Can I move in with one of them?
No.
Why not?
They're not your friends.
You met them on Grinder.
The only person who you know what you're talking about.
The only person.
This is what I'm sick of.
I'm sick of everybody thinking that I'm just fucking everybody.
Oh my God.
He's talking about Marsh.
No.
He's like, I've got a friend who has a couch.
No, Look, everybody thinks that I'm just fucking, I'm dating.
No, you're not.
I'm meeting people.
I'm getting to know them.
And then should we so happen to be a- If you were a woman, they'd call you a slut.
I mean, we call him a slut.
He's a slut.
He's a slut.
I am meeting people.
I am dating.
Try it.
Okay.
If you're going on a date with a man or a woman at 11:30 p.m.
Did you do this?
Pacific.
It's not a date.
It's a hook.
I'm opening up a can of worms.
Yes!
Thank you.
Hold on.
Hassan.
Austin was like in the car.
He's like, we got to wrap this up quick.
I got a date.
And I was like, you don't have a date.
Hassan thinks that every time I go to meet a man at 11 o'clock at night, it's a hookup.
Yeah.
He thinks that every time it's 11 o'clock at night, it's not about.
Listen, I am pulling for you this episode.
I am pulling for you.
But outside of like a very degenerate work cycle in New York City where sometimes you can have dinner past 10, there are not many date activities that happen in the dead of night.
We were going to a beautiful diner.
Have you heard of Mel's diner?
That is such a dick appointment.
We were going to.
We were going to go to Mel's diner.
That's where you go after.
We were going to see where the night took us.
And who knows where it would have taken us?
It could have taken us for a time.
Where did the night take you?
It didn't happen because it was because Hassan fucking took forever to his mom's dinner.
Okay.
He had the audacity on camera.
Okay.
While we're in the car shooting to be like, what do you mean?
It's just, it's just a date.
I'm like, Austin, it's 11 right now.
It was a date.
No, the only thing you're eating at that point is dick.
Okay.
Nothing happened because the date didn't happen because it's because we got to date.
Let me say this.
The original date.
If I were to invite a woman out on a date and I said, meet me at 11 at Mel's Diner.
Originally the date was.
Now, hold on.
Take this into consideration.
The original date time was 8.30.
It just kept getting pushed.
It was originally at 8.30.
We're going to meet for dinner.
It kept getting pushed and eventually just got canceled because it was too late.
So the fact that I think it got canceled was the fact that...
I didn't know that it was originally at 8.30.
Yeah.
That is a viable time for dinner.
But eventually he's taking twinks to Mel's diner.
It was his suggestion.
Muppet Memory Mixup00:05:20
I hope he doesn't watch this podcast, by the way.
He probably does.
It's okay.
Mel's diner is also.
He knows that you didn't just bail on him.
He knows.
Yeah, he knows what's true.
He knows what you're up to.
Why 12?
What am I supposed to say?
I'm filming Name Your Price.
I thought everyone knows what Name Your Price is.
Why do you think Cutie's stepfather would know Name Your Price then?
Well, I mean, I just thought.
I would love to get Cookie Monster on this podcast.
As a guest.
He's a threat, dude.
He's lethal.
He's going to be fucking everybody.
He's going to be fucking everybody, dude.
What do you think?
Who do you think the most problematic member of the Sesame Street is?
Count Dracula.
I mean, the Count?
The Count, yeah.
Why do you think that he's problematic?
Sucks on blood.
He sucked cookie monsters, cock.
It was a violent affair.
That is.
Easy.
That was such a...
I had it ready for you.
I had that in the chamber.
You think I'd say that?
Take it with a grain of salt.
I am Ottoman, and therefore Vladracula Tepish is also historically a figure that we hate.
White dudes that just sit in the balcony and hackle.
Oh, yeah, those ones suck.
Yeah, but in a non-problematic fashion.
You know them at their worst.
Wait, that's...
Is that Sesame Street?
Or is that Kermit the Frog?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
I get those two mixed ups.
You got the puppets mixed first.
I just found out they were different.
Who's your favorite puppet?
Ooh.
Elmo.
Elmo.
Yo.
You didn't even think.
My favorite puppet on Sesame Street?
No, just in general.
Oh, my favorite puppet.
It's got to be Barney.
A puppet?
Barney is a man in a suit.
Did you think Barney was a puppet?
Wait, is it a real person?
I didn't know that was a dinosaur.
I thought they got extinct.
They got wiped out by the meteor.
It's a man in a suit.
It's a man in a suit.
Oh, you're talking about the puppets like with the hands.
Yes.
Yeah.
Or the marionettes.
Yeah.
Elmo.
Good answer.
Good answer, Elmo.
Elmo.
You do a good Elmo.
Please don't tell him that.
Elmo!
It's going to be Trump all over again.
He's going to start.
I like.
We're going to make America.
Elmo.
What the fuck?
I like the dude in the trash can.
Groucho.
Oscar the Grouch.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Who's Groucho?
Groucho is one of the Marks brothers.
Oh.
Yeah, Groucho Marks.
Wow.
Oh, I got you guys.
Listen, I got you.
I got you.
We need to get out more.
That's what I'm here for.
Okay, what is your favorite puppet?
Man, it's hard to beat Kermit the frog.
Kermit has brought me to tears a few times.
Yeah, Kermit's a good one.
Kermit is a good one.
That's the best one, I think.
But that's like the classic.
You can't, you know, that's why I didn't go for it.
What about Elmo?
What about you?
Miss Piggy.
I was going to say Miss Piggy.
You're a Miss Piggy girl.
But, well, she's a pick-me.
Yeah, big time.
Oh.
Perfect.
That and she just dominates Kermit.
She does just dominate Kermit.
Ludwig does have Kermit energy.
He has big Kermit energy.
Yeah.
Do not Miss Piggy and Kermit, please.
Oh, my God.
I don't want to piggy.
Even though he is becoming more jock-like, he is a jock.
I think Ludwig is a jacket.
He's not a jock.
One of the Muppets came out as trans?
Who?
Gonzo.
Really?
Which one's Gonzo?
I'm pretty sure.
Like Muppet Babies.
Muppet babies?
Babies, yeah.
Gonzalo?
I feel like I would have heard about this because I feel like Republicans would have gotten way more mad.
You know what I mean?
Gonzo's not trans.
He's just got a weird nose.
Yeah, like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Gonzo trans Muppet Babies.
Muppet Babies tackles gender identity as Gonzo becomes Gonzarella.
Yeah.
Okay, wait.
Hold on.
Do you have a problem with that?
Why are conservatives not more mad about that?
Oh, my God.
That's comic for me.
Gonzo is Gonzarella.
Look at that.
To be honest, it's because Gonzo passes Soell as Gonzarella.
Well, and actually...
No, that would make them more mad.
They'd be like, damn it, I'm jerking off to this puppet.
You missed it.
Candace Owens has a whole video where she's pissed.
Oh, this was in 2021.
Oh, it flew under my rape.
A lot was you missed it.
Yeah, a lot.
January 6th was happening.
Yeah, that's true.
That's so funny that they missed trans muppet baby outrage because there was a raid on the capital.
Seems to me.
It was on Disney.
People getting more busy with other stuff.
Thank God.
I mean, Matt Walsh would probably bring that back on a slow news week.
He'd be like, remember, remember that fucking Muppet.
Wait, that's so interesting.
Yeah.
See, I do that.
Oh my gosh, I love the bear.
I forgot about the bear.
What's the bear's name?
That one's my favorite.
No, no, no.
Oh, bear in the big blue house.
No, no, no.
That bear.
Oh, Fonzie.
Fonzie.
Yeah, I love Fonzie.
Fuck, Miss Piggy.
I didn't really watch a lot of Mumpet stuff.
Did you watch as a kid?
Live leak.
Live leak beheading videos.
Yeah, Chitchin execution videos.
Almost Fatal Driving00:05:18
Do you want to hear how I almost died yesterday?
Yes.
Austin almost killed you.
Besides that.
Okay, so.
Twice?
Okay, can I tell you?
We didn't almost die, but this convertible car that I rented was a 1968 GMC Bonneville convertible.
I was turning with Cutie in an intersection and the horn fell off.
So it just kept horning.
It just kept honking.
Dude, that is like out of a sketch.
It was on.
It was on camera too, but like we were turning in the intersection and I went to honk and the horn, it was like operated on a spring.
I do have to say something.
Bring it out.
Hold on.
When we were filming everyone we drove past on the street, Austin would honk at.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
He kept doing that the whole day.
Why are we doing that?
Well, because I thought it was fun.
And he would go, name your price.
It's back, folks.
I would.
I would say, name your price.
Back on the air.
But he really loves it.
He loves it so much.
I love Name Your Price.
That's my favorite.
No, it's not even Name Your Price that you love.
I'm saying like you love doing like little sketches.
You're such a fan.
It's a lot of fun.
I had a great time.
Anyway, but I was turning into a very busy intersection.
I went to honk and the horn fell off.
And so it was just and it wouldn't stop.
And people around us were getting upset.
And people were like, hey, fuck you.
And I couldn't stop it.
I was like, try to, and I had to leave.
I didn't know where the thing was.
I didn't know what it was.
I had to grab the horn.
I hope that makes the final cut.
It put, hey, fuck you.
Very upset people.
Okay, this is what happened.
So I went to mini golf with some friends yesterday.
And these two phones are cars.
This is me.
This is the car behind me.
It's my phone.
Yeah.
Congrats.
This is the red light over here.
And I'm trying to turn this way.
Okay.
But there are people crossing the street.
So I can't possibly turn into them.
Right.
And it's a red light.
So my keys are the red light.
But you can turn on a red, but there are humans.
So I cannot turn.
This guy.
And I'm like, there are humans.
Like, I'm yelling to the air.
Like, there are humans, humans, humans.
Right.
And they slowly walk.
And then as soon as they get here, there's still a guy on the sidewalk, like deciding if he wants to go.
So I do linger a second longer.
Mind you, it's still red.
And I'm like, oh my God.
So I turn finally.
He goes, Skirr, pulls up next to me.
And I just have one of these loaded.
Yeah.
I'm just sitting there.
That's what I'm talking about.
Flipping him off, right?
I'm just, holy shit, there are humans.
You're like singing, look what you made me do.
Look what you made me do.
No, so, so then, and he is so committed to going fast.
He sees me flip him off, goes all the way up here, stops.
Oh, middle of the road.
Oh, no.
And I think, oh, I've read the news.
I could die here.
You live in America.
I live in America.
So then I stop.
I was like, we'll play this game.
I'll play this game all day.
Then he reverses.
Wait, you kept antagonizing him?
No, I wasn't going to go catch up to him.
So I stopped back here thinking he's going to have to go.
Traffic's coming.
Of course, now there's no traffic.
Like there's no cars to be seen.
So he is able to reverse.
And I'm like, okay.
So then I go, skirt, skirt.
And he goes, skirt, skirt.
And I'm like, all right, here we go.
So I roll down the window and he's like, fuck you, you fucking dumb bitch.
Learn how to drive.
And I, and, and I, and I'm absorbing and I'm like, how do I want to do this?
Like, I have enough time to think of how I want to do this.
And so I sit there, I stare at him.
I lay like this.
My boob almost came out.
I, I go like, I go like this.
And I'm listening to him call me a dumb bitch.
I'm laying out my window.
And I go, wow, you are so right.
He's like, please, learn how to drive.
Learn how to drive.
I say, where?
Where can I help me?
Please.
I need your help.
Please.
Oh, my God.
You unwound him?
Please, sir.
So I start doing that.
Yeah.
I'm like, please, like, you're right.
I don't know what I don't even own this car.
It's someone else's.
And I just start saying this to him.
And I have all the time in the world because there's no cars coming.
And he, he, so finally, and I was like, but I, and he's still yelling, yelling.
He stops yelling a little bit.
And I go, I have, I've got one question for you, though.
And he goes, and this is probably the coolest thing I've done in a while, but it's because I've been so dissociated.
And he goes, he goes, what?
What is it?
What?
And I go, I hope you can go fucking kill yourself.
And I just go crazy.
I go League of Legends player on this asshole.
I said, I hope you speed into the next car, crash into them and fucking die.
And your family has to think about it for years.
You fucking cunt.
You douchebag cunt bag.
And then, because I knew at that point he didn't have a weapon.
And he just starts flaming on his horn.
And I go, screw.
And I drove away.
Does he follow you?
He couldn't.
Well, why didn't you tell him there were people that you were going to hit?
I did.
He didn't care.
That's what I said at first.
When I went on this.
I've done this before.
I've honked at people.
I've fought people at red lights.
Really?
You've gotten out of my car and beat the shit out of people at a red light.
He was a big man.
But I knew he didn't have a gun because he would have pulled it already.
I honked at a guy that was texting at a light one time and he got really upset at me.
I almost wish I had the fake gun because I wanted to be a little bit more.
Imagine little.
Road Rage Outburst00:15:04
Yeah, that's a good one.
That is very legal.
But it was just like this grown-ass man yelling at they're humans and he's soft.
Yeah, and a taser.
That's exactly what I carry.
Usually I don't antagonize.
Wait, really?
I carry pepper spray and a taser.
Spray's good, man.
I'm afraid of a gun.
I'll shoot somebody.
But you have to have pepper spray that has a long enough distance.
Otherwise, you're just going to.
Oh, I have bear spray.
Carry bear spray with you.
Are you lying for attention?
No.
Show it to us.
I don't have it on me.
I just have my car.
I have it.
Oh, you have it specifically for like road rage incidents.
Yeah, just in case somebody wants to.
That's so funny.
That's because you're such a bad driver.
I don't.
He's like, someone's going to try to fuck me up.
I don't engage in road rage.
I'm a very calm driver.
I used to be, as I was, we were in the car with you yesterday.
I mean, look, all three of us.
You survived.
Look, you're here to talk about it.
I was fine with you.
You can't talk shit.
It was still scary, Austin.
Yeah, but I was fine.
I didn't.
You did do hands off the wheel?
I did do hands off the wheel.
And you did that turn where we got yelled at.
By who?
The guy.
Yeah, but that was.
Yeah, but the fucking horn fell off.
Yeah, well.
Because you were honking it too hard.
I honked it and it fell off.
Who'd you go to the Abbey with?
What are you doing at the Abbey in the middle of the day?
Why are you getting drunk in the middle of the day at the Abbey?
I haven't been to the Abbey in three weeks.
And I thought today was a good day.
So I decided I would call up one of my friends and his boyfriend.
And I went out with him and had a few drinks at the Abbey.
And it was great.
I had a few vodka sprites.
I tipped a few dancers, ate some Southwest children.
What are the dancers like in the middle of the day at the Abbey?
They're great.
Just like the middle of the day.
Yeah, they're fit.
How do you have pizzazz?
They're just dancing.
Abbey's dark, though.
Even though, even like the outdoor portion, somehow is like kind of still dark.
Yeah, no, they're great.
I mean, it's drag brunch.
So drag brunch usually leads into dancing, dancers, all sorts of fun.
It's great.
A lot of fun.
You guys should all come.
I have an idea.
No shock.
Let's do an Abbey Sunday and we vlog it for the Patreon.
Oh, no.
Mauricio would love it.
Mauricio's.
Mauricio can go with you.
I know Will would love to do it.
Yeah, Mauricio, just film him at the Abbey.
Look, Mauricio will go see him by himself.
Yeah.
I got recognized.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sit at a different table for sure.
Taxi cab confessions, awesome show style.
Yeah, but look, the thing is, is like if you saw me at the Abbey, you would think by based on what everybody talks about me, I'm just like fucking on tables and slamming shots.
No, that's not, no one is saying that when they think you're sitting on a table eating a Southwest salad.
That's exactly what I was doing.
Yeah, that's what we all think you do.
I assume you sit at the bar by yourself.
No, order a drink.
I was with a couple friends at a table.
Order a drink and eat a salad.
I was eating a salad's chicken salad.
I've never gone to the Abbey alone.
When I said that I went alone, it was because I didn't want to tell you who I was going with.
That's incriminating.
It wasn't me for the record in case he's playing one of those games.
No, QD, I think we need to go to the Abbey together.
Everybody hates me.
No, I think you just burnt out people on gay bars.
I'm not asking.
I've not asked any of you to go to a gay bar.
You have come after me.
I came.
I went to the Abbey on my own.
You've never asked me to go to a gay bar.
Yes, but I haven't asked you in a long time to go to a gay bar.
I won't even ask you anymore.
Austin.
When was the last time I asked you to go to the Abbey?
Last time you were in town.
No, bullshit.
I was in town last weekend.
Show the text.
Did not ask you to the Abbey.
Austin.
Yeah.
You always do ask me.
I've defended you all fucking podcasts.
Every time we are out in a social situation, you rally up everybody and you go, let's go to a gay bar.
Yeah.
Do not fucking come at me.
I will say that is true, but I did not ask you last weekend to go the no, you also like partially potentially jokingly ask all the time.
I don't know if you're joking or not, but you're always like, come on, let's go to the in response.
I'd love to go with you.
Great.
I would not.
I would not want to.
Great.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We just got back from a cut.
Yes, we did.
It was very devastating.
I have really unfortunate news to deliver to you.
Very traumatic news.
William Eber Savage Neff III got up, went to the bathroom, and perished.
Yes, he did.
In a tragic self-sucking incident.
He was violently self-sucking himself.
We could hear it through the wall.
We locked the door.
We tried to get in.
He wouldn't let us in.
He did it again, folks.
I don't know how he did it.
I don't know how he did it.
He was like, I got to step away, boys, for like a brief moment.
Yep.
And it turns out, last time he stepped away.
I also saw my hair on the camera for the first time this week, and I need to get my roots done so bad.
What does that mean?
She's saying her roots are brown.
Is that your natural hair color?
This dirty, dirty blonde.
Are you a natural blonde?
I don't know anymore.
I'm whatever this is.
It's too light to be like a good brown, and it's too dark to be a good blonde.
I'm a natural blonde.
No, you aren't.
You're going to be a natural gray here pretty soon.
Dude.
Oh, my God.
I usually don't care about my roots.
Do you want to hear yourself?
I will still fuck you in the fuck off with gray hair.
Speaking of which, we must talk about the fuck off.
What?
Fuck off.
Oh, when you weren't here.
Oh, yeah.
I challenged the son to a fuck off.
Austin and I had a conversation where I would, I said I would, if I was gay, I could outfit him.
I could fuck him under the table like nonstop.
What he said.
I guess Austin has compiled up.
What he claimed.
Well, the poll showed that I won.
So he took a Twitter poll.
I did not.
We're throwing that out.
I did not.
It's tampered evidence because he rigged the poll on his own.
No, actually, Anti Piker was writing for you pretty hard.
We sent it through to TikTok where we posted two clips.
Wait, we?
You did.
I posted a clip about the.
So basically, putting this into context, I challenge Hassan to a fuck off.
Basically, starting at 5.30 in the morning on any given day, we have 24 hours to fuck as many people as possible.
Can you use contacts in your phone already?
Yes.
That's not fair.
That's fine.
Both of us are.
I'd still outfuck him.
He thinks he can outfuck me in a fuck off, right?
I posted a video about this where I challenged Hassan to get a lot of money.
Your video got more views than mine, to be fair.
My video did get more views.
Read the top comment on your video, Hassan.
If Hassan reads his, let me find it.
Hassan.
You said you're losing the fuck off.
That's the top comment.
Yes.
Talking about you.
And then right underneath.
You're losing the fuck off.
You wrote that.
Oh.
Austin, it says Austin show.
You're losing the fuck off.
It's true.
I mean, that's what I think is going to happen.
Now, but there's other people in the comment section.
Okay, I'm reading the second comment section.
He wants me.
The third comment says the second.
Dot, dot, dot.
And I mean the second dot dot dot.
Hassan announced he was cruising.
Austin would lose.
Lamau.
The second he announced it.
It's done.
Underneath that, someone says, I volunteer.
That's a woman, so it doesn't count.
Sorry, ladies.
Let me read these comments.
This is a fuck off.
Someone added Troy Savanne.
Someone says seven likes, okay?
Hold on.
Let me scroll down a little bit.
I'm looking at where it says the top comments.
Okay, let's go to the...
Okay, these comments are ridiculous.
There's a lot of...
Fuck it.
There's a lot of comments on here that talked about how if it was a fair fight, then Hassan wins.
Okay, QD, let's settle this now once and for all.
I can fuck men, Hassan fucking women.
Who wins?
Oh, now we changed the dynamic.
We changed the dynamic.
You said...
No, I thought you were fucking watching.
I said, no.
You want to fuck men?
I said, if I was...
No, the whole point of contention started with me saying...
He wants to fuck men.
Me saying, you thank you're lucky stars.
I'm not a gay man, because if I was, if I was into dudes, you would never be able to fuck another twink ever again.
I'd outfuck you every day of the week.
That's what he claims.
And that was the original fuck off.
You wouldn't be able to get it.
The other one is like not even a question.
If it was like, even with the massive hurdle that I need to clear, like having sex with women is a very complicated process.
It can be quite difficult.
If I can go back to my, if I, if I go back to my like list, then you're so done.
You can't.
This comment on my video.
Austin could beat Hassan in a speedrun.
He is more nimble.
Good point.
Wow.
Okay.
Here we go.
Wait, so wait.
The entire point of the fuck off is like, who could fuck more as in like who would if there was somebody said I'm going for Austin between these two?
Just keeping it real.
Just reading the comments.
You're only reading the nice ones.
I can see the ones rooting for Hassan that you're skipping.
Okay, well, now I'm going to pull.
You don't want to wine and dynamand.
Lamau.
Austin would easily win.
Hey, hey, Austin, and Hassan can share the twinks.
Okay, that's not part of the problem.
Why did you accidentally read them?
Okay.
Lots of love, Austin, but Hassan Absolute.
Okay, that's not my question.
Okay, wait, hold on, hold on.
Let's read some more of this.
This is bullshit.
I don't know what happened, but I stepped away for a few days and all the comments are reorganized out of my favor.
Who do you think would win the fuck off?
I'm not answering that question.
I like that people are asking, where can we listen to the podcast?
Because Austin doesn't fucking post it on his TikTok.
I will start telling them.
Literally, one of the tags is Fear Ad Podcast.
You should make it a pinned comment with a link.
I'll do that.
Okay, next time.
Well, there's like people talking about power bottoms and stuff, which is irrelevant.
This is an insane debate.
Yeah, Hassan would work in any direction.
Yes, Austin would lose.
Okay, just, okay, forget it.
It's up for debate.
I had drama.
What's that?
I had drama where I got mad.
I got mad at Frogan.
Oh.
Wait, what?
Why?
Frogan.
Yeah, I got mad at her.
What about her?
Because she very innocently, and this is a fun topic to talk about.
Not a drama topic.
Well, it's a little drama.
Don't like the fuck off.
I'm like, yeah, the fuck off.
You guys talk about fucking each other every week.
Just do it.
Cutie, we're not fucking each other.
Very clear.
You're fucking on the shit.
Assad is not my type.
Hassad is not my type.
Hassan is not my type.
Fuck him all.
Hassan is not my type.
Despite him, he's been trying to get after me for a long time.
He's not my type.
Okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
Not in the slightest.
Okay.
Wouldn't give him a second look.
Okay.
He doesn't like to hear that.
He's laughing through the trauma.
Right?
Not my type at all.
That's funny.
I like twinks, not Hassan.
As you know, everyone in the industry, if you exist on the internet, you probably have a stalker or two or five.
And one of Frogan's stalkers, I guess, is crazy and will just use fake emails to email her.
Oh, yeah.
And so, yeah, so she posted on Twitter an email from Cutie Cinderella because they used a fake email.
So it said Cutie Cinderella that was just like hate bashing on her.
And she took a screenshot of that and posted it.
So I'm sitting there in a chess tournament.
And all of a sudden, these people start coming in and they're just saying awful things to me.
They're like, how dare you, you dumb bitch.
Like, I start getting attacked for no reason at all.
I'm like, I'm literally playing chess.
I'm not doing that.
And I'm like, what is going on?
And then my mods are like, it's because Frogan tweeted and people don't know it's a joke.
And so then I got mad at Frogan because I was like, that's not even a funny joke.
It's just not even funny.
They wouldn't even know the comments.
And like, half of the comments are like, wow, Kitty Cinderella.
It wasn't even a joke.
I think it's like the stalkers portraying themselves as you.
Yeah, I know, but she didn't, like, people really thought that was an email from me.
Yes.
Why would you be sending emails?
I don't know.
Yeah, no.
But there are people like in the comments being like, this is why I brought up my roots and this is how I got here.
There's someone in the comments like, she has raccoon head anyway because I have the different colors.
Wait, I didn't have hair.
Yeah.
Guys, listen, I don't have time to take care of myself.
That's why my hair looks like you look great.
I literally showered this morning and I look dirty all the time.
I just look dirty.
I'm that kid that no one would want to sit next to an elementary school because I look like next to you now.
I know, I don't smell bad, but I look like I do.
You don't smell bad at all.
You do not look like you don't.
You don't smell bad.
No.
I'm scared.
What if you smell like a bar?
I don't smell like a bar.
Do I smell like a bar?
No, you don't smell like a bar.
He smells fine.
When you first walked in, you had like a alcohol set on you.
Not really.
But a little bit.
I don't drink that much.
Frogan deleted it once I messaged her, but I was so mad.
Yeah.
I'm just like, I saw that and I immediately understood it was a stalker who was trained.
That's what a normal person would think.
But unfortunately, a lot of people were just jumping on the people were pissed at me.
And I'm like, I literally don't associate with anyone on the internet now because of shit like this.
And so I was just like sitting there playing chess and getting podcasts together.
Yeah, but I don't.
That's kind of weird.
I don't like stream with you.
When was the last time I streamed with you?
Oh my God.
Is that why you stopped?
Yes, I'm terrified.
I'm jaded.
I love.
I loved.
Some of my favorite streams are when you come over randomly and you're just like, I just made content for you for no reason.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm terrified.
The pumpkin carving.
I know.
The fucking...
You and I are really bad for the same person.
To answer the questions or eat this like awful C-penis segment that was with Stavi.
That's like one of my top viewed videos on my stream.
Cutie, I think I'm coming to figure out that you and I. I'm afraid of the internet.
No, no, you and I both have the answers for our own vices.
Also, my community loves you.
You're insane for saying that they wouldn't protect you.
It's like a precedent.
It's like it's a trickle effect.
You're just saying words now.
None of these things are.
They stream with you, and then they're like, why aren't you streaming with so-and-so?
Why are you streaming with so-and-so?
Be like, because I'm cheating on Ludwig with a song.
They love that.
Can I tell you something?
Ludwig looks really good lately.
Ludwig has started looking good.
I have a bone to pig.
I have a bone to pig with him, though.
Old fucking chess pussy over here.
I've been trying to play basketball with him.
And to be fair, I kind of misscheduled one of the days, but I always try to play basketball with him on Sunday mornings or in the weekend.
And he's always like, he just doesn't respond.
He did not respond in my last basketball reverse.
Kind of fucked up.
I think he's hot.
Oh, my God.
Like, I think Ludwig is unironically like, I think he's hot.
Like, before it was like, oh, he's good looking.
Now I think it's hot.
So he's your type.
Because he's spinning out.
Weight and Basketball00:02:04
I mean, he was never fat.
I mean, he's lost 20 pounds.
Oh.
You're fat phobic.
No, I'm not fat phobic.
He's gay.
It comes to territory.
Is that true?
Are gay men fat?
Unless it's a fetish.
No, like, I, I, I, it's like, it's like the top three categories of fat phobia are doctors, EMTs, gay men.
Wait, why EMTs?
Uh, my doctor called me fat.
Yeah, doctors are really fat phobic.
Uh, I mean, I'm memeing about the gay men thing.
She said my weight was too much.
My doctor actually said that to me, too.
Yeah.
I've been trying to lose weight.
My doctor never says that to me.
What the fuck?
And I'm fat.
Well, no, no, you're not fat.
None of us are fat.
None of us are fat.
Okay.
Wow.
None of us are fat.
Thank you.
Your doctor said you're fat.
You're like...
You know why?
Because 100% body.
The doctors don't look at the muscle, weight of muscle associated with the height.
What is this?
A doctor for the 18th century?
What the fuck else did he do?
You eat cocaine?
She didn't.
No, she didn't.
She just looked at me and she's like, wow.
I'm such a misogynist.
Yeah.
I said he.
Oh.
Awkward.
Well, my cholesterol is high.
That's why.
It turns out your woman doctor sucks.
My blood pressure's high.
Well, that's because of weight.
Or no, I have cholesterol.
I have cholesterol.
Actually, I thought my blood pressure was high, but turns out the iced brown sugar grande mocha shaking brown sugar espresso from Starbucks has four shots in it.
Oh my God.
You're getting your boardwork done after.
Did you go on the freaking?
No, I kept going to the doctor and it was always after my Starbucks, so my blood pressure was like 140 over 89.
Dude, I didn't think anyone got that drink.
When we did the Duck Doug Challenge, someone got that drink that six pumps of brown sugar.
Oh, it's so good.
Really?
It's only 120 college here at Grande.
That's because six pumps of sugar.
That's what it says on the Starbucks app.
Wow.
Not with that.
Four shots of espresso?
Three on a grand pig.
I think I'd explode.
Three on a, and it's the blonde espresso, too.
Starbucks Blood Pressure00:14:47
That sounds insane.
I mean, look, it's delicious.
I love it.
But I've been like, I've been wondering why I've been so fucking jittery.
I'm like, I got the shakes, and it's because of the grande brown sugar.
Because you're fucking drinking crack.
Yeah, I didn't know this.
Sugar-crusted crack.
I bought a blood pressure monitor from CVS.
How much do you think this ring costs?
$1.
Yeah, probably $2.99.
No, I'm kidding.
Did Ludwig get that for you?
No, I wandered into a boutique and I was feeling spontaneous and I said, I will buy that ring.
And the lady starts talking to me.
She's like, you're amazing.
Thanks for supporting local business and local artists and local women.
There was no world I could back out.
Guess how much that ring is?
First of all, I need to understand the quality.
So there's a diamond in it.
It's not real diamond.
I don't think that's a diamond.
It's not a real diamond.
It's definitely fake diamond.
And it's rose gold.
In my brain, I was thinking this was an $80, maybe $120 ring.
It's going to be more than that.
How much was it, Cutie?
$886.
You did not buy this for $886.
Yes, I did.
Oh, no.
This better be the most conflict diamond.
Like, this better be responsible for like eight children being like, I didn't know what to do because she went on this long rant about how such a nice person I was for buying it.
Oh, I would have been like, I'm sorry.
I not supposed to be a bad person.
Yeah, that's because you have a spine.
I don't.
You should have been like, sorry, I'm not going to do it.
I took out my credit card and I was like, there we go.
$800?
Yeah, I know.
I'll tell you what.
I don't have a spine either.
Today, I was at a TJ Maxx.
So sad.
And there is a.
I know.
It's not cute.
No, it's fine.
It's fine, but it's not $800.
This is the most expensive piece.
Don't give it to Austin.
He will steal it.
This is the most expensive piece of jewelry I own now.
I will steal it.
He will steal your jewelry.
I don't have it.
I spent $800 on it.
I'll give it to you after the podcast.
Give it to me.
Do not let it go.
That is my nice jewelry.
Austin has the audacity that tweeted me the other day.
He's like, oh, yeah, I found like three of your jewelry.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I did.
Everyone steals my shit.
I haven't stolen anything.
I'll give it back to him.
Should I steal something?
No, please don't.
Hassan will forget about it.
I will absolutely.
Well, at first, I'll give it back to you.
I've got it.
I've got it on my camera.
I'm a steal.
At first, I feel conflicted asking for it.
I steal snacks from you every week.
You need to come visit me.
You guys need to come visit me and stay with me for absolutely.
I want you guys to, I want us to hang out.
No streaming, no content, no phones.
Absolutely not.
An Austin show retreat.
Are you going to murder us?
Why the fuck?
What is this?
Yeah, just come to come.
Just come to Oregon.
That sounds like literally a scary movie.
Austin Show Retreat.
Hassan, Cutie, Will Neff all will go and will stay at my house.
I can't wait to do your daily activities like going to Starbucks.
You've told me what you're doing.
And then going to the doctor.
Yes.
You've told me what you do throughout the day.
It's like maddening.
Yep.
Like, if I lived that life, you guys know what my schedule looks like.
If I lived your day in the life of Austin Show life for one day, I would kill myself.
You'd be really bored.
I wake up.
I go to Starbucks.
I get a brown sugar, Grande ice shook, and whatever the fuck it is.
And then after that, I go to the gym.
And then after the gym, I shower.
I eat.
And then it's about four o'clock.
So I. How is it four o'clock?
Yeah, what have you done?
What?
It's a very busy.
It takes a long time.
What time do you wake up?
I usually, I work at Starbucks.
I work on my laptop for a couple hours.
No, he locks in.
It's actually how he pays.
No, you know what's really funny about that?
He does have a laptop.
I know this because when he was staying with me, he busted it out.
He just saw me.
And he just sat in eyesight of me while I'm streaming over here, like on the table out there and started clacking away.
I just didn't want to be alone.
I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
I was working.
What do you have to do when you're laughing?
You're laptop.
Nobody knows what you mean.
Your price is coming back, and you guys will all see what I was working on.
I'm just so shocked.
I was coordinating Name Your Price-related business.
It's very busy.
A lot of shit.
He also does.
You know what he does?
I know what he does.
Okay.
He's not revealing this part on his day in the life.
He talks on the fucking phone for eight hours of the day.
I do.
I know.
I'm on the Rolatex.
I'm in the schedule.
You like it.
I get it.
You love yapping.
30 minutes every other day.
You love fucking yapping on the phone, dog.
When he was staying here, I was like, damn, this motherfucker's constantly on the phone.
He's like talking about his day.
It's never, like, it's not business.
He's just like, he's like old birthday.
No, I don't think he works.
No, he just calls people to talk about their lives.
He has a job.
His Starbucks trip.
What do I talk to you about on the phone?
Everything.
Really?
You like it.
Yeah, I'm talking about it.
She's rolling her eyes.
No, I know.
I didn't roll my eyes on you.
I like it.
I call you.
I check in on you.
Yeah, you talk to me about fucking.
That's what you talked to me about.
Do I really?
You do.
Oh, I did talk to you about fucking, but you got on me because I didn't tell you enough about it.
Yeah, I mean, no, I don't mind it, but it's just like...
He just wishes that was him.
No, I don't.
We've already talked about this.
We didn't talk about this at all, but the yard had such a toot about us destroying their set.
They did?
Yeah.
I didn't even hear about it.
Well, they went on their set and they were like, Fear and wants our attention so bad.
They're always talking about us.
We're never talking about them.
And they were kind of right.
They do never talk about us.
They talk about me all the time.
I don't know what he's talking about.
I got a moment to pick with them.
They didn't even acknowledge me as a host.
They didn't even acknowledge me as a...
Wait, wait, wait.
Was there a tier list about that?
Oh, wait, what are you talking about?
Yeah, yeah.
Fear and host tier list?
No.
No, it wasn't a fear and host tier list.
It was the streamer tier list.
They acknowledged me as a streamer.
That's okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm okay with that, but they did not acknowledge me as a host on Fear and.
They're probably trying to be funny.
Nick.
Son of a bitch.
It worked.
He got on me.
Didn't acknowledge me as a host.
Probably because I sat on his chair and vandalized it.
I would not know about any of this because I've yet to watch a single episode of The Art.
Ooh, that was not nice.
You're the only one who keeps that.
Well, I do watch episodes of the Yard when they talk about me.
I watch it.
And they're very funny.
Do you want me to fix it?
No, no.
Cutie, I brought demonstrably.
It's better.
I don't have one.
Gorgeous.
You want me to fix it?
Did you break it?
Oh, the beats just went everywhere.
Kaya is a good dog.
Kaya was like, I'm not even standing up for that.
Don't get him.
Hold on.
This is one millimeter.
How did it break?
I don't know.
Let me get him.
Hold on.
Jeez, I feel like I'm having a conniption every time Austin is here.
Like, I turn into like an old Italian woman.
How did it become untied?
I have agita.
I have agita.
It's falling.
Some of them are falling.
No, it's okay here.
They're gorgeous.
I'm starting a bracelet business.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
Hold up.
Careful.
But mine won't break like this.
Okay.
You know who reached out to me when I tweeted about my bracelet business?
Taylor Swift.
No, it was XQC.
He said he liked his necklace so much from shit camp, he wanted another one.
Wait, really?
Yeah, which was nice because Hassan doesn't even wear his necklace from shit camp.
Did you make them with diamonds?
Wait, he didn't even show up to shit camp, did he?
No, but he had a necklace because he was supposed to show up.
And then he lived with me for a little bit, and so he grabbed it when he lived with me.
Oh, that's true.
And he loved it so much that he messaged me.
He was like, I loved my necklace so much.
Can you make me another one?
It broke.
XQC's trophies back there.
You're not acknowledging that you never wear the necklace I made you, Hassan?
I don't know where it is.
Oh my God.
Someone probably stole it.
Austin probably stole it.
Where'd the U go?
I didn't steal his shit camp necklace, but I do have somebody's.
I have Myths' necklace.
My shit camp necklaces were so good.
No, they were fire.
You guys did not respect them enough?
What?
I wore it like every day for weeks.
Because I did.
I wore it after you.
I don't believe you, idiot.
What?
Excuse me.
I did wear it.
I did.
What?
And gorgeous.
Anyway, I'm starting a Taylor Swift themed bracelet company, and I hope, and they're all going to be handmade.
I love that your dyslexia went away for a moment.
Just when it's a Taylor Swift bracelet that you're making.
How much are they?
They're too much for you.
Excuse you.
Broke boy.
Oh, it might be in here.
Don't even have a job.
I am.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm broke.
How much is the minimum wage?
He's lying.
He's lying.
See, the thing is, they want it both ways.
They want me to be broke and rich at the same time.
You can't have it.
You are rich.
You are rich.
We just don't know.
You're rich.
I don't know how much money.
What if I start?
Just can we all explore this for a moment?
What if I started an OnlyFans?
Wait, we've told you to just Austin.
We have this conversation every week.
No, we don't have this.
I'm just curious.
We tell you to do it every time.
Yes.
Yes.
There's no reason you shouldn't.
But I, what if I did it?
Actually, no, because no, you love the attention, but like, one bad comment about like your dick bulge or something.
And you would spiral.
I'm confident in my dick now.
No.
Look, I have never been like, look, we all go through a little.
Somebody told me one of the guys.
Men are ruthless.
Men are ruthless, especially when they told me I had dick dysmorphia.
They told me that, like, I think they've heard you talk about your dick on the street.
Yeah, and they're like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
You need to not hook up with people that have ever listened to you on a second.
No, no, no, no.
It's kind of hard because...
No, no, yeah, no, look, hold on.
The entire step cat.
No, I was going to say.
These are people that are also famous.
Yeah.
These are not like.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Okay.
Listen, my point is.
My point is this.
To be fair.
To be fair.
Everybody.
People know.
If he can't.
How many beads are missing?
If he can't fuck Twinks in West Hollywood that have like watched my broadcast at any point.
I'm also not famous.
He's not going to.
He's not going to be able to fuck anybody.
Hassan.
If that's the fucking barrier of entry, Twinks that have watched Hassan Abby is like every single fucking Twink on the planet.
Why are the Twinks watching you?
Because he's like, everybody that is.
Because they know you're a gay icon.
Oh my gosh.
Are you?
A little bit.
What the hell?
My claim to fame always is that the gays, there's a moment in Sex in the City where if you remember, this is where.
Why would you say if I remember?
Both of you.
You assume that I watched Sex in the City?
I assume both of you watch Sex in the City.
No.
I watched Sex in the City.
It's for women.
What?
You're a woman.
Exactly.
What is going on with this argument?
I watched Sex in the City.
It was great.
Anyway, listen.
Ironic, it's women, but it was written by gay men.
But there is one point in Sex in the City where there's like a young model.
I think Samantha's like hooking out with him or something.
And they say, I thought you never watched Sex in the City.
I know who Samantha is.
That's kind of fucked up.
But you're just taking Sex in the City Valor statement.
You've listened to one Taylor Swift song and you claimed you were a fan for like six months to go to the concert.
And then as soon as the concert was over, you were like, I don't even like her anyway.
You're like, you're like a dumb guy on MySpace.
That's like, you're so hot.
You're so hot.
I want to go to the next one.
Not only that, but I'm hungry.
I'm like, no, I'm not interested.
And then you're like, you're ugly anyway.
I hung out with John Mayer the night before the concert.
No, you didn't.
Stop hanging out with him.
He did.
And cutie is stupid.
I know I've been really.
You hung out with him?
No, but he wants to do a flight simulator thing.
Would you hate me?
I'm just saying, if he were to do one, would you be mad?
Austin, Austin said he would drop Taylor and you like a bad habit.
He's not going to.
Do you think John Mayer would fly in the flight simulator with me?
He does love flight simulator.
He's a massive fan.
And I've told him about these like super realistic flight simulators, and he was like very invested in it.
All right, look, Hassan, this is a lot for me, but you can put us in a group chat together.
Absolutely not.
Okay, so, cutie, you're wondering if people, if gay people or I wouldn't do that out of respect for cutie.
Yeah.
Okay, you want to know if gay people or twinks love Hassan Piker?
I was on Grindr the other day just looking.
I don't usually use that app.
This was somebody's bio.
If you support the system of policing, you are a fascist and block.
I'm looking for friends with benefit.
I delete this often, so fuck with me or don't.
If you come into my DMs and demand anything, hard pass, pansexual here, and where are my principled leftists at?
In parentheses after that, not liberal.
That's a Hasanabi head.
That is 100% a Hasanabi head.
I don't understand anything.
What I'm trying to say is...
So the sex in the city thing I was going to tell you is that Samantha's dating this young model.
And the young model is first like popularized by gay men.
And in there, there's a line where they say, first the gays will find a person, HOD, and then the women will come.
And then someone will become famous.
And I've held on to that because my gays were there for me way back in the day.
Like I have gay fans that have been fans of mine since like 2016 when I was with the Young Turks.
So that's where...
That's where, yeah, you're not problematic enough.
I think you're not publicly messy enough.
I used to be.
I think that's why.
And I stopped hanging out with you.
You need to be more messy.
You need to be messy.
You need to be a messy, toxic bitch, and then you will cultivate a gay following.
Wait, I can't.
That's half why I've started to cultivate one.
You're gay.
Well, you're also gay.
I know, but they.
Actually, that's true.
They don't give a fuck.
They don't give a fuck.
Okay.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, that's true.
You may be.
I don't know.
I'm starting to...
There's a nair, the nair gay.
Kevin.
There's a gay.
We're going to talk about this behind the paywall, but there's a gay man.
Oh, you've seen it?
Yes, there's a gay man.
I saw his butthole.
There's a gay man who I didn't know about the extent of his fame.
Kevin?
Kevin.
But we'll get to that behind the paywall and more.
I have a new show that I've been meaning to watch as well.
We might get to that as well.
It's a nepotism show on ABC.
That's right.
Made by the Jonas brothers.
Oh, I've already seen it all.
Claim to fame.
I watch it every week, baby.
You are.
I love it.
Be fucking worse.
Me too.
Anyway, like I said, R.I.P. to Will Nev.
He died in a self-sucking accident.
Thank you so much for watching.
If you want to see the paywall portion, go to patreon.com slash fear and we're going to be doing a lot of crazy stuff.
We've got good stuff on the Patreon.
I've started doing TikTok times again.
Paywall Show Tease00:01:06
Hell yeah.
10 minutes of TikTok time with QT.
Wait, have you guys been up to the moment?
Have you been uploading those to the paywall?
Yeah.
God damn.
Yeah, Marshall.
I should probably work doing stuff.
I mean, you guys are coming soon to the paywall.
Me handling your Karen stuff.
Just, we'll see.
All right.
See you on the other side.
Bye.
And child indigenous.
I downloaded the citizen app.
And it's so funny.
Because it gives you everything that's going on in California right now.
Not funny.
It's terrifying.
It's terrifying.
It's supposed to terrify you.
They're trying to sell you security services.
Well, it's funny in California specifically.
Because I imagine this doesn't happen in like Idaho.
But like quite literally, you know, I see all of LA right now.
And I can just zoom in.
And it's like, it's like man exposing himself with stick.