This Is NOT Our One Year Anniversary | Fear&Healing Hasanabi hosts joke about Austin's absence and Slime's baldness while debating Taylor Swift's "All Too Well" lyrics. They plan a drive-thru eating challenge using a Hummer to visit Chick-fil-A and Krispy Kreme, then mock conspiracy theories linking 9/11 to homosexuality and discuss alleged sexual harassment stories involving LBJ and Dick Cheney. Ultimately, the chaotic banter about penis nicknames and future nurse costumes highlights their irreverent approach to friendship and absurdity. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Austin's Absence and Snacks00:08:43
We're back better than ever bigger than ever.
Just kidding.
It's just because Austin's not here.
So it's going to be a better pod.
We're not going to talk about sex that we've ever done before.
True.
I like that you very quickly fastened that to Austin's place.
Guarantee it doesn't break the mic once.
Guarantee it doesn't steal my snacks.
Guarantee he won't stop you from talking only to interject with a penis reference.
Damn, we're roasting Austin already.
He's not even here and we're roasting him.
It's fucked up.
It's actually mean.
So this isn't the one-year anniversary.
No.
Huh?
So what week is this?
This is episode number 52, so it's technically the one-year anniversary when it comes out.
Apparently, technically, it's not.
Well, we're dumb.
I had one-year anniversary stuff planned, too.
So your own basic math.
I don't understand it, but also I like the concept of like 52 episodes, 52 weeks, versus one random guy in our Discord.
And, you know, we love our Discord, don't we, folks?
I trust that guy.
I do.
So that's right.
We're breaking the boundaries of space, time, and how all of that works.
Next episode is the one-year anniversary of Fearan.
Oh, that makes sense.
How old are you turning an old Pete to shit piece of shit out there?
I'm going to be 32.
Wow.
Disgusting.
That's crazy that you and Slime are the same age.
Why is that crazy?
You mean Tony Starr?
No, he lost his hair.
He's back to Slime.
I think we need to go back to Tony Starr.
I like the hair.
I like the hair too.
Actually, I lie.
I'm lying.
I didn't like the hair at all.
I don't know.
I just think he's...
I don't know.
I was just going along.
I was just going along.
I like the memes that came out of it, but I did not like the hair.
I think we need to stop doing podcasts after you stream.
Why?
Because you're fried.
No, I'm not.
Your brain is a bag of dick right now.
No, it's not.
It's not that at all.
You literally just went along with us for two seconds.
You're like, yeah, I like the hair.
No, well, it was good.
I cleared up confusion about what I meant.
I meant I like the memes, but I don't like the hair in and of itself.
I think Slime is significantly more handsome when he's bald than when he has hair.
When he has hair, he kind of looks like...
Are you jealous of Tony Star?
No, I like Tony Starr's character.
I just think Slime is better.
Okay.
All right.
I'm embracing my bald brother and the way.
Wait, why is it?
That's nice of me.
You're making it seem like I'm being polite.
I'm not trying to do that.
I'm just saying it's nice of you to like support someone as they are.
Yeah.
Because like hair pieces for men are like boob jobs for women.
It's fine without it, but it's probably kind of pog when you have it.
Okay, fair.
I like that take.
Pretty pog.
Fine.
Okay.
There you go.
Fair.
And so it's like very, like, it's good to be like, I accept you as you are.
Slime.
Yeah, I think not only do I accept him as he is, I prefer it.
Yeah.
Like, I didn't.
He's too pretty for that hair, honey.
What?
Sexually.
Yeah, sexually, physically, spiritually.
I want him.
I'm sad your Australian boys left.
I know.
I'm sad too.
I'm sad that this is the second time where I've had them stay at my house for like a month.
Yeah.
And I did not get him on the podcast.
I thought they were going to be on this episode.
I asked them to be on the last episode and you assured me it was fine because we'd get them on the no because they were not supposed to leave yet and then they did the thing that they did last time and cut their trip short.
Why?
Once again to them that they didn't want to stay here anymore.
First of all, they stayed here longer than I stayed here this past month.
So that's number one.
No, they Alexa was leaving already.
He was like slated to leave for San Francisco for an extended period of time because they have like a awesome sauce, I think is what it's called or open sauce.
Not entirely sure.
It's a William Osman is doing like a science fair for adults.
Oh, that's cool.
It's actually a super sick idea.
Sounds kind of cool.
Yeah, and it's going to be hosted in San Francisco.
And they were supposed to.
Are you allowed to talk about this?
I think it's...
It's coming out on Monday.
Wait, Google it to see if it's like.
Yeah, William Osman opened.
Hey, let's not be too tough on him.
He had a boo-boo.
He had a boo-boo in France.
I did.
You haven't told us about that either.
I also don't really understand what happened.
Talk about the boo-boo.
Oh, God.
We've talked about it in every episode.
What do you mean, every episode?
Or maybe look up.
Who is this guy?
Okay, yeah.
His brain is a bag full of dates.
It's open.
No, no.
I was just making sure.
I was just verifying.
So slowly, well.
Open sauce is going to be out by July 15th, July 16th.
It's like already a public event.
So they were supposed to go to that, but Alex, I did a thing.
He had a sponsored video that he forgot to complete.
So he literally is going back to Australia to film mud crabs, like a couple shots with mud crabs that he can't do out here.
I was like, I'll sort.
What?
Gonna ask his mom or something?
No, I think he has to be in the video.
Oh.
So that's the reason why.
That's the reason why he had to leave early.
And Alexa went to San Francisco, but is not coming back from San Francisco because, yeah, he's just going to continue traveling and going back to Australia.
So you already talked about your boo-boo and you don't.
Well, I mean, I could talk about it again.
It's just like...
Let's talk about this.
Yeah, I saw this.
And I, oh, God.
I'm so scared of what you want to do.
I want it.
What I wanted to do.
What did you want?
I want to tell the people at home what you texted me saying, oh, when you return, I have a nursing outfit and I want to come nurse you back to hell.
Nurse him on stream.
And I. Did you mean Will?
And I was.
Yeah, exactly.
SpongeBob.
So here's the thing.
That's Patreon content.
Just the top.
In my mind, like my mind went to every other time that we've done like these kinds of quirky things together.
You mean great content that lives in infamy?
Yeah, no, no, great content that lives in infamy for sure.
Like Marco.
So Marco St. Marco, when you gave me a racing stripe and buzzed my hair so badly that I had to get it fixed again.
Or then I thought about Marco St. Marco again when you came over and waxed my legs, which, by the way, is great content.
That was your stream goal.
No, no, no.
I know, I know, I know.
They're great ideas.
They're great content.
I was just scared that you were going to accidentally hurt me because I...
Well, you dealt with it like an adult and you told me that.
No, I did not.
No, what did you do?
I didn't.
I just didn't respond because I no, no, no, no.
It wasn't like I saw the text message and I was like, oh.
He made the Australians watch three hours of Louder with Crowder, which I assume is why they are not here today.
He should have just showed up.
No, he wanted to play video games.
I was like, no, I'm going to watch Louder with Crowder.
No, he didn't say that either.
No.
What did you do?
You just left the group thread I put you in.
No, I did that today.
You wrote in the chat.
No, you wrote in my chat, let's play a video game.
Fuck Steven Crowder.
I was like, no, you said no and then left the group chat.
No, no, I left the group chat earlier today because it was like pinging me.
Marital counseling the eye.
No, he put us in a group chat, which he does all the time.
I'll wear this in the Patreon, though.
I don't think he does it all the time.
No, he does do it regularly, but like, or I get on the group chat.
I asked to be put in the group chat, but then the group chat is fucking lit up.
Right.
So I'm just getting messages in the group chat.
Constantly pinged or total or sometimes over 48 hours.
Listen.
I also put him in a group chat.
He didn't leave mine.
I just want to hear that.
No, because your group chat doesn't fucking do calls.
So I don't get like a random.
You assholes.
Wow.
No, it's not.
It's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing.
They're just like doing it on stream.
They're talking to one another on stream.
And like the way my Discord works is usually on, like it's on streamer mode and it's busy.
Like it's on busy mode.
So I don't see anything until after I'm done with streaming.
And then it automatically flips a switch, I guess.
It knows when I'm not streaming.
And then I get all of the calls all of a sudden.
Like it's like a notification blast on my phone.
The Bitch-Ass Otter Incident00:08:31
Anyway, I've read you.
Now it's time to move on to you.
I got a tetanus shot.
No, I got a tetanus shot yesterday.
What is that?
Your defense?
Like before we even shit on you?
What's happening?
You were giving away proprietary fear end content to all your other men.
Oh my God, dude.
Dude, yo, this is fucked up.
Guys, it's eight hours of Taylor Swift will.
It's unacceptable.
It's so unacceptable.
She did another thing with like whine about it as well that like I forget now.
Weed about it?
Are you mad about weed about it?
No, I'm not.
I don't, I don't fucking plays up 420 style.
No, you did something else.
Fuck, what was it?
I saw it and then I think someone literally replied to you or something.
Am I imagining this?
Where you were like, whoa, you didn't do this for Fear Ann?
And you were like, well, Whine About It isn't.
I remember someone complaining saying whine about it is your preferred podcast and Fear End is your backup.
What was it?
Ever since.
Are we your side bitch?
Yes, yes.
I've been, what do you mean?
Don't be shocked.
Whine about it existed before I joined this.
Of course you're my side bitch.
That's fucking nuts, dude.
I give you my all.
I didn't tell Maya about my tennis shot.
Oh, wow.
Let's make a meal out of it, cutie.
Wow.
Can you get a tetanus wetness shot in your army water?
I can't wait.
That's really going to hit the album.
Maya wants me to do TikTok time on whine about it.
And I said, no, I do TikTok time on Fear Ann.
So I already said no to that.
Do we have to fight Maya's animals?
Is that what's going on?
What's happening?
I went straight to the stompy and give him a noogie.
Yeah, what is that?
Like, I will steal those otters and make them my best friends.
She has like an otter-type animal, no?
As a ferret.
Oh, okay.
That's like it.
That's like a bitch-ass otter.
They can't fucking swim.
Right.
I think ferrets are my favorite.
A ferret referred to as a bitch.
Yeah.
If you guys, speaking of otters, okay, this is big news.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah.
March, pull it up.
Santa Cruz Sea Otter Steel Surfboard.
Cute.
What?
Now we're talking.
Also, I talked to Maya and she said those otters definitely get euthanized.
Which otters?
The ones are you doing?
No, you're a bitch for that.
You too.
You took the thing with you.
Absolutely.
Why did you say that?
No, let's get into it.
You're mad you didn't get on the flight.
And so you had to yuck our yum.
No.
You had to go out there and find something to take.
It's like telling a seven-year-old Santa Claus isn't real.
Who does that?
I'm so sorry.
They live forever.
I lied.
They're not just.
No, those otters were definitely living.
They get euthanized.
Stop.
Stop.
I can't believe you're still going off about this otter shit.
Show the otter, though.
Show this cute-ass otter.
Hopefully this one's.
His daughter lives in the wilds.
Yeah.
Is this getting euthanized too for stealing?
Hopefully.
Huh?
Is that what you're going to fucking say next?
Stealing is bad.
Oh my God.
Look him go.
No, no.
She like actually steals these like full-blown and will be like very territorial.
It's a big ass otter.
Why is it so fat?
Oh, God, it's so fucking cute.
I want it.
I want her so bad.
Why did she...
Why did the surfer give it?
You can live in my pool.
It's perfectly fine.
I just bought you an otter for your birthday.
No, Maya would be so upset.
Yeah, I bet it's I can't live up to Maya's standards, okay?
Yeah.
We already know you're your side bitch.
No, no, just ask her why she's not ask her why she's not vegan if she cares about animals.
Oh my god.
What's up?
Uh-huh.
You guys like women so much.
Why aren't you one?
What?
Got him.
That's ridiculous.
No, I got him.
Ridiculous.
And possibly transphobic.
How about that?
Oh, yeah.
She studied the blade.
Yeah, don't even come at me.
I don't know how to do that.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Flipped it on your head.
Yeah, going back to not as serious as a tetanus shot.
My injury.
No, you said you've already covered that.
No, I was just going to talk about the secondary.
I mushed my finger, sir.
I mushed my finger.
See that little guy?
I mushed it.
You and Austin are the same.
In a rusty fence.
I mushed it.
You and Austin are the same.
In a rusty fence.
And I said, oh, no, when was last time I had a tetanus shot?
And then I was like, oh, my God, I don't remember.
If you don't remember, you should probably get one.
And so then.
What if you just have bad memory?
It doesn't matter.
It's like, you can get them for fun.
You can re-up.
Yeah, it'll be fine.
Anyway, so then I was like...
She's what the Republicans are afraid of.
Like a woman who gets vaccinated for fun.
With no limited to no autism.
Maybe a little bit, but not this vaccine spell.
The tetanus shot gave you autism.
Yeah.
And so, so Ludwig was like, don't go to the ER tonight.
Because I was like, I got to go to the ER and get a tetanus shot.
He was like, don't do it.
Cause I was going to die.
She mushed her finger.
I mushed my finger.
This little cut.
Why did Ludwig tell you not to go to the ER is what I don't want to do?
Because I don't have health insurance.
It'd be really expensive.
I'm figuring out how to sign up for health insurance.
It's a whole thing.
Did you guys know the enrollment period is almost two months long?
Cutie, cutie.
You're just raw dog and tetanus shots off, off rip.
It's $81.
You don't have CBS.
And you don't have health insurance?
Yes.
The funniest part is she's a hypochondriac.
I'm getting it soon.
I'm getting it soon.
It's going to be amazing.
Anyway.
Oh, no, it's not.
California State, very difficult to find.
It's very difficult and it's very expensive.
And you have to go through a broker if you want like an actual.
I know.
I talked to a broker.
That's how I know.
Yeah.
And I'm going to get it.
Because when I tried to do it on my own, they were like, no, we're not selling you HMO all network health insurance.
Did you want to talk about this tetanus shot?
Because it's a cry for help.
No.
I have a good story.
So my friend Galen comes over to make friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert this weekend that I'm going to because that's what you do.
And Galen rolls up and I said.
Do you have a box?
For this weekend?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's my family.
It's full of my family.
Wait.
Yeah, I guess you don't bring the side bitch.
Maya's not going.
Did you ask Maya?
I'm not even going.
Did you ask Maya?
No.
This is my family one.
Did you have asked Maya?
Well, we're family.
Yep.
No.
We're not.
No, she just throws a load on our back and gives us some cab fare.
It's time to get it.
Oh, God.
You get cab fare?
She doesn't even do that.
So roll of quarters.
Galen shows up in my house and I said, when was the last time you had a tetanus shot?
And she's like, I think a few years ago.
And I said, do you want to go get another one?
And she said, sure.
So we go to CVS.
Are all of your friends like you?
How long did Tetanus shot?
No, she was like a decade.
They last 10 years.
She thought.
Which is a decade.
Yeah, 10 years.
She thought that she'd be able to just kind of slide it in and not get a tetanus shot.
So we go to pay.
What do you mean, like fake it?
No, no, no.
She thought like she thought she was like, oh, this hurts, but she's not really.
I feel like moral support, essentially.
So we go to the CVS and I pay for one tetanus shot.
And then she doesn't get a tetanus shot.
And I said, no, no, no, we need one more.
It's on me, sweetheart.
And so then I buy her tetanus shot.
Got your friend to get double up on tetanus shot?
Yeah, she's protected.
That's what good friends do is they protect each other from tetanus.
You knew that she had already gotten a tetanus shot recently.
Well, she doesn't know.
She's not sure.
If you don't remember, you should probably get it.
Also, when do you get a meningitis vaccine?
Do you guys know?
I never had one.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't even...
What is meningitis?
I don't know.
I saw it on the poster.
They had a list of different things.
You're fine.
You get womenitis.
Spinal meningitis got me down.
There's a whole song about it.
Do you have your meningitis shot?
Do I?
Do you get as a baby?
Why are you talking like you regularly schedule your meningitis shots?
I think you only need.
Oh, then I probably got it.
If I got it as a baby, then I'm good, right?
I'm like super autistic.
I got all my vaccines.
Did you get Gardasil?
Oh, Gardasil sucks ass.
I only have two.
You have to get three.
And I've been dreading getting my third one because it hurts the worst.
I don't know what that is.
What is it going to do?
HPV vaccine.
Broken Ribs and Meningitis00:05:52
Probably.
No, you would know.
You have to get it three times and it's so painful.
You should go get it.
You want to go?
I need one more.
We can go together.
Are you going to get the other two when I keep getting them?
No.
Yeah, if you don't remember when you got them, you might as well double down.
Yeah, I do remember that.
Then you're fucking fake.
How about that?
That's fine.
You and your friend Galbi, you know, she's a good friend to you.
She was a good friend to me.
What's her name?
It's not Galbi.
Yeah, Galbi is a beef.
I was thinking about that.
Galbi King.
I got a nice tetanus shot.
Wow.
Cool story.
Hopefully you're saving the good ones for the whine about it podcast.
Damn.
God.
Oh, am I being ruthless?
That's crazy.
No.
Here's the one part that Will did not mention in our text message, in our private text messages, where I told him, I've been feeling like shit and very depressed because I can't move and I'm immobile.
When he was fucking serving me up, and I responded and I said, whatever you need, King, I'm here to help you.
You look awesome.
You look hot today.
He didn't say that.
I think I didn't say that.
You didn't respond to Gabby.
Yeah, because I was streaming.
No, because I was streaming at that point.
And I think, but it was like.
I forgot to take my antidepressant today and this conversation reminded me.
I have to say.
Good episode so far.
No, but it's just like, I just, I'm very immobile and I hate it because I feel like I'm not.
I don't even know what happened.
How did you find out what happened?
I still don't know what happened.
Because I was in the group thread that they were talking about it.
Wait, it wasn't in our group chat.
It was.
No, it was in our group.
I didn't see anything about you getting to that.
Probably because you were in the whine about it group chat.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
With just me and Maya.
That's not a group chat.
That's just text.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
She doesn't even call it a group chat.
She calls it text messaging.
Okay, I don't understand because all of a sudden Austin, did Austin get hurt in this?
Yes, he hurt his fingers.
Yeah.
Austin, I final destination it because I would have been at that same meet and greet and I would have been in that golf cart and I would be fucked up.
Okay.
This is the only context I was able to do.
Or you could have saved us because of weight displacement because like everyone who's shut up.
No, I'm serious.
And just a little bit more weight on the left side of the golf cart and it wouldn't have fucking flipped.
The only context I've been given is just this, where Will says, Austin, did you flip a cart?
And Marsh said, yeah, he did.
And Austin said, and Will said, hey, cutie, do you want to record an episode while they're out of town?
And then Will said, is Hassan actually shirt?
Or is Hassan actually hurt?
And then Austin replies and said, Will, I wasn't driving, but I also got injured.
Yeah, so I follow up with my friends after they.
That's all they said.
No, but I know, but he like searched it or he messaged it.
I looked on LSF.
So you didn't message anyone after you heard that.
They've been in a car crash.
No, a cart crash.
So you'll grab Dalby beef and make a day out of a tetanus shot, but you won't even send a text to find out if a song is.
Okay, if you want to know what happened and you're confused by it, my ribs are broken.
That's my brother.
My ribs are broken.
What happened is the golf cart flipped and Austin like landed.
I was on this golf cart.
Where was this?
We were sitting in the back seat of the golf cart facing backwards because it was like a six-person golf cart.
Where was it going to?
It was going from like the purple lounge, Twitch lounge to our meeting greet.
And this guy was fucking crazy.
He was driving it downhill, driving it like 35 miles an hour, hooks a U-turn because he has to hit her U-turn.
It starts skidding and it gets out of control and it flips.
Twitch is trying some very new tactics to keep their streamers on the platform.
Oh my God.
Yeah, they're like, a little bit of action won't.
I mean, it'll make it more entertaining.
Who else was on it?
Ramboo and Austin?
She's like, you're irrelevant.
Who was actually on it?
I was saying, like, was it full?
Yeah, Rambu was on it.
Austin was on it.
A Twitch staffer was on the bottom.
Ramboo got kind of doinked.
Ramboo got his foot stuck under the cart.
So we like literally jumped out of the cart and immediately had to pick it up.
And that's what happened.
It's okay.
I mean, the French doctor was like, yo, he's broken.
And that's pretty much it.
He was just, and I've been just living off of fucking my Japanese painkillers, which are pretty good, actually.
And Austin mushed his fingers.
And Austin just got a little boo-boo on it.
No.
He'll know.
When was the last time he got a tetanus shot?
I don't know, but he had a little boo-boo, but when was you don't know the last time he got a tetanus shot?
I don't know, but maybe I might need it.
Look at this.
Look at it.
No, it wasn't rusty metal.
That was a road.
Yeah.
Might be rusty metal on the road.
Call Maya?
Calling Austin.
Yeah.
Calling Maya to be like, I'm going to.
I'm bored.
I'm with these fucking two losers.
They're not even talking.
They're not drinking wine.
Is Austin not going to answer me?
Maybe he's upset at you too.
Why?
I think we should do an episode of the podcast called Ryan.
Okay, I hate him.
I think we should do an episode of the podcast called Ryan About It.
What's that?
Where we eat an entire wheel of cheese.
I like that.
I like that too.
I like cheese.
I think we're in.
I love cheese.
Yeah.
That'll be good.
Wow.
Well, I'm sorry about your injury.
It's okay.
Oh, great.
Not the end of the world.
What is she a fan?
No, I just...
No, it's not.
It's not the end of the world.
It's like, it's shitty because it's like rib injuries.
It could be worse.
He's fully torque on Japanese painkillers.
No, no.
Maya broke hers at she camp last year.
What the fuck?
You didn't know that?
Oh, from the fall.
She broke ribs.
She broke one rib.
I did not know that.
No, she might have fractured it.
Actually, maybe she was fine.
We went to the ER.
Cheese Wheel Podcast Idea00:15:49
I don't remember.
This is a dramatically different story each retelling.
I'm mostly disassociated, so forget things.
Yeah, she...
Yes, you and her are the same.
Are you trying to like connect us to Maya in some way so you can feel more comfortable at this podcast?
Yeah, it's about time.
Yeah.
Without Austin here, why am I here?
Yeah, we don't have otters.
I'm sorry.
Are pretty meat to us.
Oh my gosh.
It's true.
100%.
What?
You act like we're not supportive friends.
You are supportive friends.
What did you ask when?
What did I say when you asked me to do the spring concert?
He said, I will do any event you ever want me at.
What did you, what did I say when you asked me to do the spring concert?
I didn't reply because I didn't reply.
No, because she didn't ask me.
I didn't ask you because she didn't ask me.
That was a trick.
That was a trick.
Yeah, exactly.
This is bullshit.
You don't sing and you've been so adamant about not singing.
That's crazy.
I'm literally.
Do you want me to do the opera voice or AI songs on the internet?
Yeah, what's up with that?
You're going to sing opera?
Yeah, you see that?
You want me to keep doing it?
I'll fucking keep doing it for the rest of the stream.
Go ahead.
I'll break windows in here with my fucking voice.
You want to sing?
I busted into that like it was nothing.
How dare you?
You don't sing.
I wasn't.
I'll have you know, I was in the choir.
It's not even a lie.
I was.
I asked you to do every concert.
You're like, let's see.
Do the concert.
No, I'm not going to do that.
Because I wasn't asked for it in time.
Oh, my God.
Plus, you're doing the 22nd.
When is the concert?
20th.
Oh, my God.
He's a mystery.
He's a bitch.
You're better than him.
You'll show up.
You'll show up Friday and no, Thursday and Saturday.
You will show up to one.
And you'll complain about it.
You'll be like, I missed two hours of stream for this.
Oh, God.
20th and the 22nd?
No, you're not coming the 20th.
Oh, my God.
You said you can't.
I think she doesn't want me to go.
You can come.
Go ahead.
No, she literally watching you gaslight this girl to rubble right now.
I feel like you don't want me to come.
It's kind of fucked up.
I didn't take my anti-depressant.
It's kind of fucked up.
Hassan, I literally don't have legroom anymore because you have so many fucking boxed anime toys.
They're not toys.
They're figurines.
What is this?
Well, we have Hassan.
We have this and it just sits on the floor.
You should have just taken ours.
It's the whole manga.
I would never concede defeat to Ludwig like that.
He already finished it.
You haven't.
Yeah, I know.
Exactly.
I don't want his pre-read manga.
I'm sure they're sticky.
What?
Do you want to hear something funny?
What?
Oh, God.
What did Ludwig?
But not that bad.
No, It doesn't have to do with come.
Austin's not here.
Oh, my God.
I really wanted to go to the Barbie movie premiere.
Yep.
Like, really bad.
It hasn't happened yet.
No, it did.
No, the premiere happened already.
Yeah.
Oh, the premiere premiere.
The premiere red carpet.
You know, I was like.
Were you invited?
No.
Wait, what do you mean you wanted to go to the premiere?
You wanted to go really bad.
Like, like, you wanted to be invited to the Barbie movie.
My boyfriend is famous enough.
Maybe.
And so I. Is he invited?
No.
But I said to my agency, I said, hey, agency, can you see if I can get an invite, please?
And my boyfriend won't come with me.
And so my agency reaches out to Barbie.
They said, who Omega Lola is Ludwig?
No.
And Barbie somehow researches my Twitter and they find my tweet where I did a tier list of summer movies coming out and I watched a bunch of trailers.
And I put Barbie as in, I didn't, I had one tier that was, would go to the premiere and I didn't put Barbie there.
And those petty bitches were like, she didn't put us in the premiere tier.
So I didn't get a go.
That is the most insanely petty thing I've ever seen a brand do.
I respect that.
Barbie.
I respect that so much.
You don't deserve to go to the Barbie premiere.
Why didn't you say you'd go to the premiere?
Because I like went on this big rant about how I don't like leaving my house.
You know how I am.
Which movie did you say you would go to the premiere?
This is that is nemesis.
A divine application of righteous retribution applied by an appropriate agent.
You spent too much time feeling sorry for yourself.
Oh, no, you can't do that.
It's YouTube.
It's not on the Patreon.
You spent too much time feeling sorry for yourself.
No, I don't.
I'm just so busy.
You went on a big rant about how, oh, I can't leave that house for this thing.
I have a question, though.
Which movies did you say you would go to?
None.
So you even have that category.
You have a tier in your tier list that you weren't going to put anything in.
Because, like, maybe if.
She's like Oppenheimer.
She's a big Nolan head.
Well, Barbie was my number one and Oppenheimer was my number two.
Here's what I got to say.
I don't remember the tier list.
I think ultimately this all comes back to one thing.
It's San's fault because he's famous enough to get an invite and he didn't let me go to the Barbie movie.
Wrong.
You need to go to Japan with us.
Oh.
Every moment of the day, I want to be in Japan.
You know what I bought off?
Dude, I agree.
I bought a 48 case of Picari sweat and I've been railing up.
That's crazy.
Dude, it feels...
I watched the new vlog that Austin Ox finally fucking edited and uploaded.
Don't say it with that tone.
No, I say it with that tone.
He does his best.
Except for when he argues with people on Twitter.
He does a remarkable, he does a remarkable job of arguing with people on Twitter.
He also does a remarkable job of editing, but you know, he's the best.
No, I'm saying that because I have like three videos that have not been released yet.
Austin Ox, speed up.
Anyway, so watching that video, it brought back a lot of beautiful memories.
They were like a month ago.
And it was an incredible experience.
Every piece of my body.
Now I've seen Kai going to Japan.
Did you see that?
The AMP boys, like Kai's going to Japan.
And I'm like, I invented.
We invented that.
I didn't.
I invented it.
Offline TV did like four years ago.
I invented going to Japan.
Offline TV?
No, they didn't.
Did they?
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Ludwig went to Japan before you guys.
I invented going.
Ludwig stole it from me.
Just like he stole the camping idea from Will.
True.
I was like, Ludwig, do you want to go to Japan?
And Ludwig was like, yeah.
And then he cut us out of his Japan trip and he went before.
He could have gone.
Dude, she just wants us to live as side bitches.
I know.
To everybody.
I told you two good stories.
We're the Sheen.
Maya doesn't know either of those stories.
I called her right now.
She wouldn't even know I had a tennis shot.
Wow.
Sick.
Jeez.
My cup runneth over.
Where's your fucking story for the week?
I'm sorry.
I almost died.
I already told you that.
Oh, that was last week's story.
Well, you didn't even know about it.
It was on the podcast that you're on.
I spent all day yesterday assembling a 150-pound Tifa Lockhart Final Fantasy VII sex doll.
Oh, so it is a sex doll.
Why isn't it here?
Well, it's okay.
So it's not an art doll.
It's mostly for art.
The art of sex.
There's a lot of sexuality.
Can you pull up the...
He's like being a weenie about showing his fucking stream for some reason.
But can you pull up Bull Nef's stream?
What is this?
Where'd you get this?
So I had a March Madness style bracket.
Go to videos.
Oh, to buy stuff.
To buy stuff.
And the winner was Barbara Blips.
A very expensive taxerimi raccoon.
But the runner-up was Tifa Lockhart.
And I bought it.
Yeah, what is it?
Left-hand one.
What is that?
Who watched the Tifa?
$2,300.
God, you're rich.
When did you get some rich?
How much was the Tifa?
How much was the Tifa thing?
$2,300.
God damn.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
That is rent.
And not L.A. Shut up.
Okay, you throw events that are like $700 million.
Yeah, I'm rich.
When was the last time you paid rent?
No, no, no.
You're appealing to the people.
That's rent.
What's the last time you paid?
I pay mortgage on my house and watch it.
Can I be honest?
It's probably the same amount of time that you had a tetanus shot.
Give it to me.
10 years.
No, what?
Okay, watch this.
Watch this and tell me if this is this fucked off.
Wait, where's the holes?
Its mouth is closed.
Are you okay?
Tifa.
Pause it for a second.
I only saw this without audio.
Well, you fucking.
What the fuck were you doing?
You were playing.
Oh my God.
Tifa was, she's got a mind of her own.
Just keep listening.
Is it Tifa death noises?
Is that what you said?
No, I pulled up every Tifa voice line in the game and I would randomly go to them and we had a conversation for like 10 minutes.
Oh my God.
Tifa!
Thank you.
Do you have anything else that you would like to say to chat?
Huh?
No way.
Oh, so you don't want to talk to chat at all?
Nothing.
Cloud.
Okay.
Well, she called you Cloud.
Yeah.
She's not big on you guys.
Any final messages before we head out?
Could all come crashing down any moment.
That's stressful.
You're goddamn right.
It could come crashing down at any moment, Tifa.
You make a really good point.
And I'm...
That was funny.
You like that?
Yeah.
You executed her because she called you Cloud.
You should make a TikTok.
She was.
I have a TikTok.
Oh.
You didn't know we had a TikTok?
You gotta have a TikTok?
Yes, TikTok.
We have a TikTok.
You have a TikTok.
Oh, I don't.
You're lying.
Why about it?
I don't want.
I'll whine about it, TikTok.
I don't have a Ketisander on TikTok.
That's crazy.
Well, why do I need it?
Why do you not know that Will has a TikTok?
Why do I need a TikTok?
You're a bad friend.
Because we work in social media.
Yeah.
Also, I bet you follow Maya's TikTok.
I don't have a TikTok.
How do I follow anyone?
With the whine about a TikTok.
I don't run the whine.
Does the whine about it?
Does the whine about it TikTok follow Maya?
Yeah.
Oh!
Does the whine about a TikTok follow me and Will?
Also, I have a TikTok.
I was trying to gaslight you guys, and it was hard.
I feel like I've seen you.
I have a good TikTok.
I don't run it.
Someone else.
What is happening?
We're falling apart.
It's not like Austin's TikTok.
Austin's TikTok is just a fear and TikTok.
Yeah.
And it's actually, he's way more followers than me.
So maybe I need to be a fear and TikTok.
Yeah, do that.
I kind of started that track.
Yeah, that was Will who started it.
Keep it up.
I would post like a clip from the Fear and podcast and it would not do well.
And then Will would post that same clip and it would go explosive.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know.
My TikTok is curved.
Question: I'm going to bring Kai in.
Can we get, you know, I don't know if this person's problematic because I don't know YouTube.
Hannah?
Yeah.
Yeah, we can.
Can we get her on the podcast?
That would be cool.
That's my, that's my.
That's who I would like on this podcast.
Why is that?
Because she has a female ran podcast also with just two girls.
Oh.
But they're like me and Maya, but hotter.
So that's your, that's your number one go-to on the internet if you can get anybody on the podcast.
I've never listened to their podcast, but I saw their podcast.
The way that Marsh just leaned back in his chair, I wish you guys could see you.
Well, I saw their podcast the other day and I was like, oh, it's like me and Maya if we were hotter.
And so now I want to meet her.
This feels like self-destruction behavior.
You've never watched this podcast, but you're myself.
I got a Tetanus shot.
You want to talk to this girl because you think she's a hotter version of you?
I feel like we're probably gonna connect.
Okay, that's good.
Because ever then, someone told me that she married Jake Paul at one point.
And I was like, oh, I don't think we'll connect.
Yeah.
She did.
Okay, can I say my number one person for the podcast ever?
Mine is obviously Taylor Swift before Tana.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
But I don't think I don't think we can get Taylor.
Yeah, this guy says he's famous.
I don't say.
Can I put someone up that I think on our best day we might be able to get Nicholas Cage?
No way.
I want Nicholas Cage on this podcast.
I can't get Nicholas Cage.
Even though, doesn't he have like gambling decks?
He did death by daylight.
He's got a video game to promote.
We are a video game audience.
Don't you have an agent?
Isn't your agency does acting too?
Yes.
Why don't they ask?
Well, I haven't put it out there.
I wanted to see what you guys said.
If you get Nicholas Cage, I will bring snacks.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Why did you say that?
Like, that's going to be the thing.
All right, number one person.
What do you have to offer, Hassan?
If he brings Nicholas Cage, what are you giving him?
Number one person that I would bring on the pod, Taylor Swift.
Oh, my God.
You're just trying to get in her box again.
No, I think.
Not the box.
John Mayer.
Oh.
Go ahead.
You bring John Mayer on, and I will.
John Mayer is also very popular.
I act like his biggest fan the entire thing.
Well, I might have told about you already.
Wow.
You know, there's like, I was like, I have a friend who.
He was actually about.
Actually, I have a friend who doesn't like you.
What's the conspiracy?
Oh, you're giving us the Taylor content again?
You're not going to.
Wait, what?
Yes, I fucking want it.
What do you mean?
What the fuck?
I just did an eight-hour lore session.
We know, cutie.
We know.
Okay, speak now.
You guys will need to listen to it and get back to me for the quiz later.
However, everybody, I haven't done a lot of research on this.
Actually, Marsh, will you quickly Google what the hidden message for All Too Well is in the red album?
You should be able to Google hidden message all too well album booklet.
I just need to see this because this will help me for a second.
Okay.
And then I'll be able to, I have a really strange conspiracy that I have, I think no Swifties will agree with.
Guide me.
That was the hidden message.
No.
Oh, go to Taylor's.
Oh, Taylor Swift.
Write down.
Fandom wiki right there.
Click on that.
Yep.
That'll get us there.
Sure.
The second one.
Okay.
And me.
Hi.
The problem is.
Maybe Latte.
Dude, hear me out.
Yeah.
Swifties.
You guys are not going to follow me.
How is that message incepted in the book?
So in her digital booklet, she would capitalize letters and leave you a secret message.
She said, Machel Mapleton.
Guys, Swifties.
Yo, what is Taylor's just chewing on for white women?
Like, what's happening?
Swifties, buckle up here.
Swifties, I have this theory.
I have this theory that I'm still working on for the record.
And this is going to be a shock.
I don't think All Too Well is about Jake Gyllenhal.
What is it about?
I think it's about John Mayer.
And the reason being is because you're stupid.
I'm so scared.
I'm so stupid.
The reason is, if you listen to Paper Dolls, which came out in 2013, that was John Mayer's response to Dear John, right?
But in Paper Dolls, he even talks about a scarf, which All Too Well is all about this scarf.
Taylor Swift Theory Breakdown00:16:57
Also, in All Too Well, she says something about...
Isn't that literally about Taylor Swift losing her virginity to Jake Gyllenha?
No, because she dated John Mayer before Jake Gyllenhaal, and she clearly lost her virginity to John Mayer.
Clearly, because she has a song would have, could have, should have, where she says, you took my girlhood.
It was mine first.
You don't call anything besides your virginity your girlhood.
And also in All Too Well, she talks about like you liked my innocence.
I don't think I'm wrong.
I think I might be right.
And I think everyone jumped on the Jake Gyllenha thing, and I think they're wrong.
I think you're wrong.
No, I'm just not.
I think you're wrong.
Plus, they broke up.
John Mayer and Taylor Swift are, we think they broke up towards the end of December 2010 because they did the jingle ball together and then they stopped talking and then they saw each other at the CMT Awards, which inspired Story of Us.
The song Story of Us is about being in the same room as an ex-lover and feeling really awkward.
YouTube, it's on YouTube.
All right.
That was for the Swifties.
I'll dive more into this theory later.
Yeah, you have to, you're laughing, but you have to censor that.
No, you're crazy.
It'll get fucking no, it'll get us banned.
Anyway, what's your story?
It 1000% will get us fucking dinged.
Like, we will get banned.
Got it.
Yeah, we got to just censor that.
Just turn it into like a bouquet of roses.
Ooh, pretty.
God.
Please, there's not.
He's going to do it.
Okay.
Okay, that's a.
Thank you for the theory.
You're wrong.
But have you considered that you're wrong?
Dude, I'm not sure.
How long did they date?
Only for like three months.
Not even.
The timelines don't match up.
They actually do.
No, they don't.
They do, though.
Wrong.
Do.
I have it on good authority that Jake Gyllenhaal is responsible for the scarf taking.
The Swifties.
You asked John if he took virginity.
No.
Go fuck yourself.
Get out of here.
He took her.
She wouldn't write.
You took my girlhood, it was mine first.
I don't know if you know this, but I'm just fucking with you.
I know.
I'm going to say.
I am being torn apart.
No, I will.
No more Taylor Swift talk because our commenters hate it.
Okay.
Wait, what?
Yeah, they're always like...
They love you.
They're always like, the boys let her talk about Taylor Swift again.
Really?
Okay.
I want to talk about something.
You do.
What happened to America Me moment?
America Me Up?
Yeah.
I was going to do it because it was our one-year anniversary, but apparently it's not our one-year anniversary.
Austin shows here, everybody.
Okay, fine.
I have a question.
How many Cutie Cinderella streams do you do a year?
A few, though, right?
He has done streamer awards.
One.
It's gonna be like one.
And then you're gonna do another one on the 20th.
22nd.
Guess what?
You're gonna do a Will Neff stream.
Okay.
Because we're gonna break Doug Doug's world record.
Wait, what is the record?
And also, were you about to say how many Will Neff streams have you done a year?
Because I've done more Will Nev streams than I've done Cutie Cinderella streams.
Well, that's fine.
Japan, baby.
Oh, in your face.
In your face.
In your face.
Okay, but we're going to break Doug Doug's world record.
Okay, I'm Doug.
For what?
Doug, Doug Doug.
Did a video.
Fuck Doug Doug.
Fuck that guy.
I've been putting together an elite.
You're allowed four people.
Okay.
Four people in a car.
We're going to use Nandre.
He is a black hole.
We're going to use you.
You can eat.
Me, I can eat.
And we're going to get one more Burly Boy.
The record is.
Do you want to be a Burley boy with us?
No.
Okay.
You can't eat.
Doug Doug set this world record.
You go to drive-thrus and you have to go to 10 of them.
Uh-huh.
And you have to order whatever the car in front of you ordered.
And you don't know what you're going to get.
And you have to eat 10 different drive-through meals.
Easy.
Dude, that's nothing.
So you'll do it.
Oh, no, because if there's sauce on it, I don't like sauce.
Kitty.
Wait, I'm sorry.
You're signing up for an eating challenge.
Yeah.
And you were out at sauce.
Yeah, but maybe you guys could eat the saucy things and I could eat everything else.
Yeah, next time I'm doing a Triscuit eating contest, I'll call y'all.
French fries.
How many can you put down?
So many.
That's a lot.
Come with us.
We'll give you the non-sauced items.
But what if you lose because of me?
That would be stressful.
We will definitely lose because of you.
But that would add a lot of drama if we were like forcing sauce into your world.
She won't eat in it.
But I'll eat anything dry.
Do you have to finish the drinks?
Yes.
I'm Drink Girl.
I never pee.
Okay.
And we've already plotted out what restaurants we're going to do.
What?
Starbucks is a must.
They did Starbucks.
Easy.
I'll drink that.
I'm white girl.
Easy.
No sauce.
You're me like DC'd.
I told you that's the one that has the one that needs a new XLR.
Okay.
Starbucks.
Starbucks.
I'll go.
I'm White Girl.
Krispy Kreme Donuts.
Got it.
Easy.
Jolie B. Chicken.
Cut it.
Jolie B. So really bummed it and Doug Doug's family.
We're superior.
Okay.
Why?
Did he do Jolie B?
No, he did KFC and it almost killed him.
Why?
Because he got a bucket.
Oh, he did it by himself.
He drank gravy.
Wait.
I could do that.
Did he do it by himself?
Said you don't like sauce.
That's not a sauce.
They technically called in a pinch hitter for the last restaurant.
So they didn't even make 10 pure.
If we make 10 pure, we set the world record.
I'm good on the first three.
Wait, this is like Guinness certified?
No, it's more of a bragging rights.
Okay, no, no, no.
I'm fine with it.
What's the next one?
Do you want to know which ones Doug Doug did or which ones I want to do?
What you want to do?
I want to do, oh, In-N-Out.
Unless.
Oh, fuck.
That's scary.
I can eat fries.
I love the French fries.
In-nut is scary because sometimes they get those big boxes.
I'm envisioning a big ass box.
I'm going to do French fries.
Yoshi Noia.
What is that?
Just rice and meat.
Just cutie's in.
I am helpful.
Besides In N Out with a sauce.
I was going to do Mickey D's.
You can eat the fries.
So you guys want to do this?
Yeah.
Because I'm doing this, Sam.
I want to.
Because I want us to set a record.
I'll do it.
I just won't eat for like a day.
Wait, let's just displace the calories that I'm about to gain.
What?
Wait.
So, oh, Nandre.
Oh, so Austin can't come.
I get it.
It's fine.
I love Austin.
He's good at so many things.
Maybe he could drive.
No.
He can't drive.
Golf cart incident 2.0.
Okay.
Yeah.
Austin is great.
You don't need it.
He's just so bad at it.
He can maybe hang out.
Maybe he could be.
He'd be like, can we substitute it with chicken?
Can I get like a instead of a baconator?
Can I get like a chicken?
Can I get a grilled chicken, please, instead?
I don't want the baconator.
I don't want to make us lose, but I can eat French fries like nobody's business.
Nandre is the other guy I'm bringing.
Can we go to Taco Bell, please?
Yeah, we can do TB.
They did Del Taco.
We can do Taco Bell.
Oh, so much better.
Actually, if we're smart, we would do both Del Taco and Taco Bell because they're such small portions.
Yeah.
They also did Panda Express, which almost killed them.
Oh, that's crazy.
Can we do a Chick-fil-A?
Yes, that was my other restaurant.
Because everything's small.
And healthy.
And healthy.
I was also thinking about throwing a Panera bread in there.
But if you get a sandwich, ooh, baby.
They have a drive-through Panara bread.
I can eat a salad like nobody's business without dressing.
I mean, I'm fine.
Someone would have to drink the dressing.
I'm fine to destroy.
If I don't eat it.
Someone would have to drink the dressing.
I'd drink the dressing for you.
Covered.
I just...
Doug Doug was walking around like he was the cock of the walk.
We set a record.
I want to lay him low.
Wow.
I mean, who was he doing it with?
Barry was one of the people in the car.
I didn't know the other guys in the car.
All boys, sexist, Doug Doug.
Yeah, and we did it with a woman.
Well, we haven't done it yet.
I'm just saying, like, that's what we're gonna.
And I'm gonna eat all the fries.
And then we have to like.
Why did you sign up for this?
We have to take something to like lower our cholesterol after.
I don't think QT can say no to events.
Yeah, this sounds like a miserable site.
And kitty's like, I'm genuinely confused.
I'm confused as to why you said yes to this.
Sounds fun.
It's going to be great.
He didn't ask me.
I inserted myself.
I know.
That makes it.
I'm so glad you did.
It sounds fun.
I'm so glad you did.
I think it'd be fun.
Because I'm going to rent a big car, like a Hummer.
And then someone can drive us around.
So we fit in the drive-thrus.
We need to strategically.
It's America.
What do you mean?
Can a Hummer fit in a drive-thru?
What the fuck are drive-thrus made for?
About the restaurants with the smallest amount of portion, like their smallest portion size.
Like Chick-fil-A, that's small portion.
That's good shit.
That's Chick-fil-A is perfect.
I don't like that she's in and out is also good.
No tactics.
Especially if someone, dude, imagine someone orders a protein-style burger.
You get a lettuce wrap.
I hope because Doug Doug got two restaurants where all they ordered was us ice cream before him.
Oh, the 10 places and two of them are ice.
He went to Krispy Krem twice.
That's what I'm saying.
That's cheating.
This man was walking around.
That's bitch made.
That's right.
The issue about Krispy Kreme is it's probably a dozen.
No, two donuts both times he got.
So listen, Doug Doug has a man in the pocket, dude.
There's no shot.
I respect Doug Doug so much as a creator that I want to destroy him.
I understand.
Yeah.
That the fucking Krispy Kreme isn't going to be a good thing.
Is there another thing like Starbucks?
Like, wait, why don't we do bean Barney's beanery or what's it called?
Coffee bean.
Coffee bean.
Is that cheating to do?
They went to Krispy Kreme twice.
Yeah, we can go to two drink places.
They also called in a designated eater for their 10th location.
What do you mean a designated eater?
A fifth eater came in to eat all the food.
What is the fifth eater?
Like, was he like a professional eater?
We're fine.
Yeah.
I actually think we're so fine.
Well, I'll see you guys next week.
I'm ready.
Jumba juice.
Now you're now you're pimping the system.
One smoothie.
Order more beverage places.
Well, you know what I thought?
I want to be sitting in the back having drunk all the coffee.
DQ.
Dairy Queen.
Fun.
Dairy Bee.
Imagine it's like a birthday party.
So they ordered like an ice cream cake.
Chili dogs.
Oh my God.
A birthday party.
Speaking of Wiener Schnitzel, it's just one hot dog.
Wienerschitz just doesn't have a drive-through.
Yeah.
Also, some of these places that you're talking about, I don't even know where the fuck we would have them.
We'd have to plot a route.
We can do it on a Sunday, right?
Yeah.
What's the burger place that's really good, but they have the big, their burgers are so big.
Fat burger.
Five guys.
No.
Shake shack.
Shake shack.
Yeah, we can't do shake shack.
Why?
Because everyone who goes to shake shack gets the biggest burgers.