Squeezie, AustinShow, and Hasanabi recount their chaotic Paris TwitchCon trip, where Austin bulldozed French culture by speaking English and accidentally broke Hasanabi's ribs using him as a golf cart airbag. They debate American fast food versus French baguettes, navigate security screenings due to Lebanese heritage, and clarify past "Great Replacement" jokes that sparked confusion with Muslim locals. Ultimately, the episode highlights cultural misunderstandings and the absurdity of travel mishaps while promoting an upcoming Formula Four race at Le Mans. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Bulldozing French Culture00:14:30
Assan is okay.
Austin speaks fast, but I think I'm so sorry.
Oh, you want me to slow it down?
It's okay.
It's okay.
No, I can slow it down for you.
You're just be accommodating, brother.
I know.
I just bulldoze.
I came in here to France and just bulldozed French culture.
I spoke English.
Yeah, you're being your best diva self, as always.
No, no, I have actually been really good this trip, Asani.
I look forward to you talking about how good I've been.
Yeah, I'm not going to be talking about how good you've been.
I'm going to be talking about how bad you've been.
Okay?
Because you've still got to do it.
What have you done?
What have you done yet?
Oh, I will talk about it.
I've done only good things.
I've tried Escargo.
Yeah, I know that.
I've tried Caviar.
I know that too.
Yes.
The one thing you haven't tried is French dick.
That's what you haven't tried.
Very true.
Very true.
Yeah, you're off your game on this one.
But hey, before we get further into conversation, look at that.
Where are we right now?
Oh, my God.
This is such a unique background, you might be saying, because we are in Paris, France.
Paris, France.
Paris France.
Paris France.
We, we.
We have an esteemed guest here.
The podcast has gone international at this point.
We're global.
Yeah, we are global.
We're all over the place.
Yes, we were in Japan.
Yeah, I saw the one in the world.
Thank you.
And we went to, now we're in Paris.
And I'd like to announce that the podcast is officially filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy.
Yeah, so please subscribe to our Patreon.
Yeah, we have blown the entire podcast fund on traveling internationally to do a podcast.
That's right.
So we can do one episode a week.
But, you know, that's why we have our wonderful patrons.
But listen, more important than that, we have an incredible guest today.
Incredible.
I don't know if you're going to hate the way I describe you.
The Mr. Beast slash PewDiePie of France himself.
French people will like, they know both of them.
So I think they will appreciate that.
Yes, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's that.
Squeezy.
Am I saying it right?
Yeah, yeah, squeezy.
Squeezy.
It came from like the squeeze it song from Digitiest.
Squeezy.
Oh, that's what it is?
That's where the name comes from?
Yeah, I had 12 years old, no inspiration at all.
Really?
And I mixed squeeze it and it became squeezy.
Wow.
Is it a French word?
No, no, no.
Oh, squeeze it like in English.
Oh, like squeeze it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I like that.
It's awesome.
Here we are.
We've had a wonderful journey.
We're going to talk all about it.
And, you know, hopefully this episode will...
This will be an interesting one.
Yeah.
I think.
I have to tell you.
Sorry.
I have to tell you.
This is the first time, because I think French people will see this.
Yes.
And this is the first time they see me speak English ever.
Really?
I hope they don't hate you for it.
I don't want them to.
You can just keep speaking in French if you want.
We're going to dub all of our, all this interaction in all of French.
You just keep speaking English and we'll hire some French actors.
Yeah, all my stuff afterwards.
Oh, that's true.
We've got Gerard de Pardio.
Luc Besson.
They're going to be dubbing us.
My reference is the French cinema are so dated.
No, Luc Besson is not so dated.
What was his last movie?
Valkyrie?
No?
The movie with...
I watched French movies.
A big one.
I think Luc Besson's last movies have not been that good.
I'll say it.
Okay.
I think his old stuff is way better.
Yeah, sure.
You know Taxi.
Yeah.
I watched Taxi, the series.
Was Yamakazi his as well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And you know, Bon Lutrez.
Like, French people will oppress that.
Yeah, District 13.
Yeah.
Barnio 13.
Great movie.
A lot of free running or parkour, for those of you who don't know, in French cinema, I don't know why French people are obsessed with parkour.
Good question.
Why are we obsessed about it?
That's crazy.
Like, we had so many movies with sparkour in it.
Yeah.
Yamakasi is the biggest one.
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was support a parkour like tag.
Parkour tag.
Or that was at TwitchCon.
We were at TwitchCon.
That's why we're here in France.
And one of the things that they had, they had these big exhibitions.
One of them was a parkour competition.
It's like tag.
You know, tag, like, tag your ish.
Yeah, yeah, shah.
Sha.
In French is shah.
Sha.
So it was shah.
Yeah, cash.
So they have.
They have like a competition and they were filming it.
Really?
They had like obstacles and they would like run over it and run around it.
Like it was crazy.
Yeah, I saw some videos on YouTube about it, but it's not French.
Yes.
Oh, it's not?
No, I don't think so.
We thought it was French.
But because we're American, we come into a new place and we say, oh, it's probably French.
I don't think so.
By the way, so this is my first time to France.
And for the viewers at home that don't know, we came for TwitchCon and we stayed at probably the worst part of Paris that we possibly could have from Porte de Versailles, right?
Which is not, it's the convention area.
So I arrived and I was not impressed by Paris because I thought about Paris as this grand, beautiful place with a fine dining and then I was in Porte de Versailles, which I don't know what the equivalent in LA would be, but it's like going to Los Angeles and staying in, I don't know.
What do you think?
Hollywood.
Not even Hollywood Boulevard.
Hollywood has a rep though, at least.
Like people accidentally go and stay there.
Nobody's rep in Porte de Versailles in France.
Right.
So we do that and I'm like, man, France is mid until we meet you and you take us on one of the most fabulous Parisian, Parisian, is that right?
Yeah, yeah, Parisian, fine dining experiences to a beautiful, I don't even know what the restaurant was called.
It was Le Roulet Plaza.
Le Roulet Plaza.
Le Role Plaza.
And you took us to a dinner that started at 8.30 p.m.
Yeah.
And went till 1.30 in the morning.
It was a long one.
We shut the restaurant down.
We had Escargot.
We had caviar.
We had things I couldn't pronounce and wine that I've never tasted before from far reaches of France.
And we saw the, we walk out, we see the Eiffel Tower, it's lit up.
I mean, Paris made a comeback thanks to you.
You're such a basic bitch.
It's not even funny.
One meal, one meal, and you're like, okay.
And a view on the Austin.
He hasn't seen the Louvre.
He hasn't seen any.
Have you even seen Arc de Triomphe or anything like that?
I don't even know what that is.
We were close to it.
Yeah, I need to come back to Paris to experience it.
Any of the cultural stuff is why most people come to Paris.
I'm really bad because the first thing I land in Paris and the first thing I say is, where's the gay bar?
Which is not, you know what I mean?
You have very nice ones in L Marie.
I found one.
Yeah.
Talk to us about it.
Can I tell you about it?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, let me tell you about the gay bar in France.
How is the gay game in the gay people in France are so much like so direct.
The gay people in the United States, direct.
I went to a gay bar in France called Raid.
Okay.
Okay.
This gay bar is amazing.
Famous for every 30 minutes or so, a guy comes out and showers naked in like this shower.
They have a glass case.
Have you been to this bar before?
No.
Well, we'll go next time in Paris.
We'll all go to the gate.
It's a lot of fun.
And I go in, and I kid you not, within 30 seconds of going into this bar, somebody asked me to give them a blowjob.
They say, Oh, give me a blowjob.
And I said, 30 seconds.
30.
Kid you're not.
Give me a blowjob.
I said, So he's just in there, like, no, no, no, I didn't do it.
He's like, Wow.
She said, I would like, you know, give me, give me a blowjob.
And I said, my friend, give me, give him a blowjob.
I was like, oh, no, I'm okay.
He's like, his cum tastes like cookies.
And I was like, oh my God, this is crazy.
Then a guy asked me within another 30 seconds, let me see your penis.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
All of this in 30 seconds.
Within another season, very, very quick.
Boom, boom, boom.
Wow.
Incredible experience.
Everybody was.
And that's when Austin knew.
He's like, this is the greatest place.
Yeah, I loved it.
So open, so amazing.
Everybody was very direct.
And it was wonderful.
So that was my gay experience in France.
I met some guys.
But the thing is, is I met these guys.
I was like, oh, French guys.
Oh, they were Dutch.
I didn't know that until it was too late.
Like I said, zero French dick so far.
You have one last night.
You're not going to talk about French dicks.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
I couldn't have a night.
And they're not circumcised.
But neither are the Dutch.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I knew that beforehand.
Okay.
I knew that beforehand.
And I didn't do anything.
Didn't do anything.
What's your preference on that?
Do you have a do you have a preference?
Because all you guys are with respect.
I don't.
Is that okay if I'm uncircumcised?
I'm circumcised.
No, not all of us, because no, there is many, many people.
Yeah, Muslims.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm circed up.
He's circumcised.
Circed up, boys.
It's terrible.
I am uncircumcised.
They took that away from us.
They cut.
Most Americans are circumcised.
Really?
Yes.
For like what?
No reason.
No reason.
No.
I think they say he's in, but honestly, I don't know.
I fucking don't do it.
Isn't that crazy?
Could you imagine?
I'm so sorry.
We've just met and I'm talking about it.
Imagine your picture.
Imagine everybody like three minutes ago.
Okay, let's talk about dicks now.
It came very fast.
330 million Americans.
Half of them are men.
All their dicks are cut.
Imagine 150 plus million dicks.
Just think about that.
But everybody that's a lot of skin.
Yes, a lot of skin.
Where's it going?
That's what we're here to find out.
Where is it going?
Where are the dick skins at?
That's got to go.
We've been out here.
Look, last time I came to Paris, I came with my family.
We did the whole tourist thing.
You know, we stayed in this artist's Airbnb.
It was beautiful.
It was like this attic.
You know, we stayed in a nice horizon distance, which was like close to everything.
You know what I mean?
It was very different than Porte de Versailles, which is awful.
But, you know, I mean, I had a good time.
I went to Entré Côte.
I went to all these like places that you're supposed to go to.
Like Le Louvre, things like that.
Yeah, exactly.
But it was all right.
It was like a regular tourist experience.
I love Paris.
I think Paris is very nice.
I think it's very beautiful.
I certainly prefer it over London.
But this time, my experience has not been so great.
It was great when we went to dinner.
And then maybe I had too good of a time because all hell broke loose immediately after that dinner.
I went home.
I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning and I took a shower.
We got ready to go to the convention hall and we started off our day and there's a golf cart experience.
Now, you guys might have heard this already because I talked about it on my Instagram.
No.
He has no idea.
But your boy has a broken rib.
Yeah.
And it's not great.
I have a fractured finger and broken.
Your finger is fine.
What the fuck happened?
You have one band-aid on your finger.
Okay.
In France, are you guys known the driving is a bit...
What is the perception?
Like, what is the driving single?
Everybody is angry when it comes to driving.
Is the driving like a bit scary here?
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's not inappropriate to say, like, even the French, like, as somebody who lives in France, you say the driving is a bit crazy.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we had Paris.
In Paris.
Yes.
Yes.
So we had a guy that was channeling that energy while he was driving this golf cart.
Yeah.
Okay.
I never took a golf cart in like 10 years.
So why you come to the bottom?
I don't know why we brought them here.
No, they were transporting us to the back because like you can't because the convention gets really hectic.
Okay.
So it's really hard for security to like walk you through crowds to get to the position to get to the place that you need to get to, right?
So they have like a back entrance for golf carts.
So they take us, they put us in this golf cart from this parking lot and they drive us down to the convention hall where we're supposed to do our meeting greet.
And it's me, Ramboo, Jack Manifold, Austin, and a Twitch representative and the driver.
There's a six-person golf cart.
Austin and I are sitting in the back facing the back.
So it's one of those long ones.
And this golf cart goes down the he started off real fast.
Yeah, he was hauling.
He was like flooring.
And I was enjoying it.
To the floor.
Just going crazy.
I was enjoying it.
I was like, this is kind of sick.
This guy was egging him on.
He's the reason.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah, let's do it.
And then, I mean, I didn't tell him to fucking hook a left turn going, you know, 40 miles an hour.
We're going down a hill.
Okay.
Down a hill.
He's rolling ass, right?
Yes, so much weight.
And he takes a turn.
Let me.
And it was a U-turn.
It was like a U-turn.
Like, you had to turn back, right?
Who was the driver?
Well, we don't know.
I don't think he's with the company anymore.
But he takes a turn.
And as we take the turn, of course, laws of physics, we flip.
And my life flashed before my eyes.
It was really interesting because at first, when the left turn is happening, it started drifting.
And you could hear it.
Nice moment.
Yeah.
When it drifts, you're like, whoa.
And I was thinking, this is sick.
You knew the drift was going to, I knew the drift was going to fail.
And litter?
Yes.
And then it was like slow mo.
It was weird.
It was like slow motion.
Like I heard the drift and then I started feeling like it was tilting and I started bracing for impact.
And it was like it was slow motion.
I could like see it tilting, tilting, tilting.
And I was thinking, uh-oh, it's not so sick anymore.
And then boom.
The Broken Rib Incident00:09:36
Yeah.
The crash.
And immediately when that happened, like everything just, you know, went back into double speed.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
And he hits the pavement.
Yeah.
I hit him.
You got like a little bit of road rash here.
Yeah.
Whoa.
I hit his ribs, right?
I break my finger, fracture it in three different places.
He did not hop.
What about three other people with you?
So we're in the yeah, so we're in the cart and the person in the front was fine, luckily, but Rambu, who's another content creator who had a meeting greet, he's screaming my foot.
Oh no.
My foot.
My foot stuck.
So we're all in shock.
So immediately we hopped out.
Well, I had to tell Austin to get off of me.
I was in shock.
Because he was just like laying on me.
So dramatic.
Yeah.
He's just laying on top of me.
Like there's nothing, nothing has happened.
We're fine.
He used me as an airbag.
I did.
It was a massive one.
Soft landing.
Soft landing.
So I'm like, Austin, get off me.
We get out of the cart and immediately we have to pick this card up because it was on his foot.
Like the cart was like, yeah, his foot was stuck under the cart.
Luckily, his foot's fine.
I think it's like a little bit swollen.
And I just started feeling a little bit of discomfort in my chest.
And I was like, oh, no.
You know, I just know that it's like possibly like a hairline fracture or something.
And then the medics come and they were like, oh, you got to go see a doctor because it's like most likely like a rib fracture or you broke your ribs.
And that's what the doctor said.
The doctor was like, yeah, you broke your ribs.
Wow.
So right now you have a broken rib.
Yeah.
So now I.
And then, but with the broken rib, we still did a meeting green.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah, we still did.
Yeah, I was like, I got through the pain of this.
Look at this.
I mean, they should give me a purple heart in France.
What is the equivalent?
The purple heart?
Have you heard of the purple heart?
In the U.S., when you get like a very brave soldier, you know, that sacrifice, he doesn't like the U.S. military.
Oh, God.
Another subject.
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
No.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
In France, it's...
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So, anyways, you know.
Yeah, it's.
I love that you took the splint off because he was like, always like, give me the most dramatic thing you can point.
He was telling doctors to give him like the biggest rap ever so he could be like, oh, my finger is broken.
He was so dramatic.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I play it up.
Laying on the ground.
Yeah.
Oh.
He just has a broken rib, man.
I know, I know.
But it's crazy.
He's a big guy.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's not the end of the world.
It just hurts when I laugh.
It hurts when I breathe.
It's weird because it's like, if I sit in like specific positions, it's fine.
And I've just been eating a lot of this paracetamol.
Dolipran.
Yeah.
You have this in the U.S. Do you call it Advil or Tylenol?
No, this is Dolipran.
Yeah.
That's what the doctor gave me.
Yeah, it's a nice one.
He literally was like, I'll give you, I can't tell if he was like, do French people fuck around?
Like, do they joke?
Because the doctor was like, I'll give you oxycotin, fentanyl, what do you want?
Fentanyl.
Yeah, that's what he said.
You know, yeah, but it's like, we don't have it here.
I think he was just joking.
He must have been joking.
I was like, whoa, dude.
I was like, no, I'm good.
He's like, I give you whatever you want.
I was like, no, no, man.
Just give me some Advil.
So he gave me this.
He's like, this is the French one.
It's better.
Yeah.
And we were surprised because we were like, can we get like a mobile x-ray or something?
Like, somebody comes to the hotel.
But in France, they don't work.
They don't work.
The medical system is much more.
Well, first of all, it's better.
Yeah.
You don't pay a dime, right?
If you go to the doctor, it depends, but most of the time, you don't pay.
You don't pay anything.
But in the U.S., it costs like your whole life savings, but you can get a medical x-ray.
Maybe he's like telling this French doctor, like, so are there like mobile x-rays maybe?
They can come and like, you know, come to your house or your hotel room and like give you a quick x-ray.
I'm like, no, that's not a thing.
I don't even think that's a thing in America.
I was trying to be resourceful, right?
Because we had a meet and greet to get to.
I was thinking, you know, you didn't do the x-rays?
No.
So how do you know if it's broken or just?
He's just like, he just like touched it and yeah.
So what he what he said is like, basically, if it's like hyper-localized, the pain, then it's most likely like a fracture or a break.
And the difference between like a full break versus a fracture is marginal, I guess, because it's just like it just limits the recovery.
Like if it's a, if it's a full break, you recover in like four weeks, five weeks.
If it's just a fracture, three to four weeks.
So that's it.
And there's not really much you can do.
Have you broken a bone?
Never.
Really?
I've never broken it.
Yes.
One little bone in your hand.
Yeah.
So what was the process?
Did you go to the hospital?
I was at Ski.
Okay.
So I just went to X-rays.
They told me, oh, it's broken.
Did you have to go to like emergency room and then they do the X-ray?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
So no mobile x-ray.
No more?
No more.
Ah, no, Nobody does that.
Yeah, actually.
I honestly don't know.
I said it half joking because I don't think it exists.
Yeah.
I said it half joking, but Twitch went and investigated whether it existed.
Yeah, Twitch was great.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.
I'll tell you this much.
After the thing happened, the executives were freaking the fuck out.
They were like, oh, shit.
Because like, these, we're like three of the headliners at the event going to our meeting greet with like Ramboo 2, going to our fucking meeting greets, and like they almost killed us.
Yeah.
They would have been holding candlelight vigils at our next.
So the executives were freaking out.
They like pulled us aside.
They were like, is everything okay?
They sent us a care package.
Yeah, I was going to say.
So one of the things they did, they were like, hey, sorry for your broken fucking ribs.
They sent us a care package.
And I actually brought one of the care, one of the things from the care package.
Because they give you this to say sorry?
As a gift for you.
Oh my gosh, I have some too.
Well, you're selfish.
So you didn't do that.
I unpack this now.
Yeah, is it good?
I don't know what it is.
Champagne Bilkar Salmon.
Yeah.
I don't even know this brand, guys.
Oh, no.
It's not even good.
It's not even good champagne.
How embarrassing, Hassan?
This is why I didn't bring it.
This is why I didn't bring it.
I was embarrassed.
They gave me a broken rib, but now you have champagne.
Yeah, which is funny because they give me champagne and some like little perfume bottles, but I didn't bring the perfume bottles because I thought this is like funnier than that.
But it's from us.
I can't even take it.
I'm not going to give you the gift.
I can't even take it on the plane with me.
So I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this, Twitch?
So, you know, I thought this would be better.
They also gave us some chocolate and like a cigar, chocolate cigar, and stuff like that.
Both of us got, I think we got the same care package.
Macaroons.
They gave us macaroons, which I ate like there was, what was it, like 20 macarons?
I ate all of it last night.
It was one of them.
And when I woke up in a haze and I was hungry and there was no fucking room service in our hotel.
No, really?
How's that possible?
Like, where are you staying?
The courtyard.
Courtyard Marriott.
There is room service everywhere, no?
No.
Not at this hotel.
What?
I called.
I was like, I can't move.
I can't get out of bed.
Yeah, I need food.
Yeah, I went to bed at 5.30 p.m. last night.
And then I woke up periodically.
I woke up at like 12 and I'm starving.
So, you know, I'm like, I'll get some room service.
They're like, nope, no room service.
You know what?
I'm so happy he says this because this is the first time in the podcast history where he complained about something and I didn't say a word about the hotel or anything.
You were talking shit about Port de Versailles.
Well, yeah, but the place.
But I was very well, I really was trying to be well-behaved and not a diva this trip.
He has a broken ribs.
That's why.
His expectation are more.
That's true.
He did.
He did break.
I have a medical necessity for this room service.
But I did break my fingers.
Hey, look.
I don't think he.
Do you really think it's broken?
The doctor did say to x-ray it when I get back.
He said he said x-ray.
The doctor also said if you can move it, which you could, then it's probably not possible.
Okay, just show us the finger.
Just move the finger just to see.
It's not broken.
No, obviously.
I can't go past him.
I can't go past this point.
That's just normal.
You're so jumping.
Look at this one.
I can go like this.
This one.
Yeah, but it's not broken.
It's just like painful.
He claims that there's little tiny bones that nobody knows about.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Very small.
But he did tell me to get an X-ray.
We're going to get this demonetized for medical misinformation.
Maybe, maybe.
I'm going to get an x-ray.
And if it's broken, Hassan, you owe me $20,000?
No.
You're the one who broke my ribs.
How about you pay for that?
No.
What about snails?
We have to talk about the snail.
Oh, yeah, we have to talk about the snails.
Snails and Laxatives00:03:00
The snails?
The escargot?
Yeah.
Yes.
How was it?
Escargo tasted like garlic butter.
Yeah.
It was very, it was much better than I thought.
I couldn't get over the fact that I was eating snails, but it was good.
It was better than I thought.
And you had special treatment because it was out of the shell.
So it was like you didn't have to see it or anything.
It's less disgusting.
Yes.
What do you think about Escargo?
I love it.
You love it.
Yeah.
He has to say that or they deport him.
That's how it works.
I love frog and escargo.
Oh, frog.
No, no, not at all.
Oh, no.
You guys actually have frog here.
Maybe I tasted like when I was maybe 12, but it tastes like shit.
Yeah.
And I don't like it at all.
You like it?
It tastes like chicken.
Like chicken.
It tastes like chicken, really?
I thought it was, I thought it would be gamier than that.
Like chicken.
Oh, not in my memories.
Oh, okay.
The Cambodian frogs taste different.
Yeah, they don't have different French frogs or more.
What do you think about?
Have you been to the United States?
Yeah, I've been for E3, like at the convention.
Oh, yeah, E3 in Los Angeles.
What do you think about our food?
Honestly, I'm curious.
It depends.
Like, if I want to eat huge things, it's like cool.
If I want a burger, basically, I know it's cliche, but it's like cool now.
Because you have many fast food we don't have here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like in and out.
Yeah, yeah.
I similarize that.
I love it.
Did you like it?
Yeah, really?
The food's good?
Yeah.
The fast food is good.
But the food in restaurants, maybe I never went to the right places, but it wasn't like so.
We'll take you to the right places.
Yeah, I hope.
Yeah, we'll take you to the right place.
The most shocking thing for me was fruits and vegetables, which are basically just big things with water inside.
Yes, we give them hormones.
Yes, we do.
We give them hormones and like year-round, you can get an orange.
Yeah, I think you can get it here in France too, year-round.
But like when I was growing up in Turkey, that wasn't a thing.
You know what I mean?
We didn't have year-round oranges or like fruits were seasonal, which is normal.
That's what it's supposed to do.
That's how it's supposed to work.
But now, I don't, I think everywhere you can get fruit all the time.
Yeah, but France, everything is so, you know, like I've been eating kind of like not good, like even in France.
And it doesn't matter.
My body stays in much better shape than when I eat bad in the United States.
Because even when you're eating bad in France, you're eating stuff that's not filled with hormones.
Regulations are very different.
Yes, which in the US.
Like in the supermarket in the US, I saw like comedy laxative.
Laxative?
Laxatives.
Like the thing that makes you eat.
Yeah.
The thing that makes you poop.
Yes.
I saw many laxative and I was like, what the fuck?
What do they eat to take so much laxative?
You don't have them here?
We have, but it's like one product in the pharmacy.
You know what that's called?
It's called Freedom.
That's what it's called.
Pharmacy Regulations Explained00:03:12
I was seriously concerned about you guys.
Oh, yeah.
We talked about that.
We get backed up.
We get backed up a little bit because our food is so bad for you and so it just gets clogged.
I've never taken a laxative.
Look at this guy.
This guy is just, he dropped America.
Like, if you were to ask him, he's French tomorrow.
Okay.
This is ridiculous.
I tell you what.
I You are a phony.
That's what you are.
The reason why I turned French is because I fell in love with a French man.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, true.
Is he French?
You don't even know his name.
I don't know him.
I don't know his name.
Is he French?
Do you even know if he's French?
I think he's French.
Maybe he's Dutch.
No, I promise he's French because I figured that out.
He's an option tag.
It's Dutch.
Do you know?
Explain who the guy is.
Explain it.
Okay, so at TwitchCon, we had this thing at the convention center.
We had this thing called the Purple Lounge.
Where people like Hassan, who are very needy, he's very needy.
He's very, can go to this lounge and have food and stuff like this.
Well, in front of the Purple Lounge was a guard, French guard.
And I saw him over the course of three to four days.
And he stole my heart.
And I never said one word to him.
I was so nervous.
And I think he looked at me a few times.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You kept saying, I want to gay marry him.
I wanted to marry him and have beautiful French children.
Yeah.
Maybe he's watching the videos.
But what if he's saying, if you're watching French beautiful security guard, please, you know how to find me.
It's going to be really funny when we find out he's from like Texas or some shit.
No, I promise he's like, he's French.
You don't know that you're fantasizing him.
No, no, no, no.
We had a moment.
I swear we looked at one another.
Did he speak to you at all?
Yes, he would.
He would go.
What did he say?
He would just nod at me.
So, how do you know he's French?
I well, no, but I heard him speaking French to some other people.
Yeah, but all the security.
Every single part.
My security, Yeti.
Yes, he had the Yeti.
They imported a guy from Mount Everest to he looked like a Yeti.
He's like this massive dude.
He looked like Jack Santa Claus.
He was my security for bigger than you, like more strong than you.
I don't know if he was bigger than you.
Because you're massive.
He wasn't bigger, but he was definitely stronger.
He's probably definitely stronger.
Yeah.
And without the broken ribs, yes, right now.
Yeah, right.
Definitely.
So he could speak French.
My security could speak French.
He's not fucking French.
Yeah.
Everyone could.
Every guy had an accent, and I swear to God, I could feel.
I've got gay vision.
You know what gay vision is?
I mean, what is it?
In your dreams that you think it's like, I can tell when somebody may be gay.
I can just like see it.
It's like a Gator, Gator.
Okay.
It's like gay radar.
So, like, you know, like, have you ever heard?
Do they have the expression in French Gator?
No.
It's like where you know that somebody.
I think there was a connection.
We, it was just in the eyes.
And I don't know this, but I fell in love, and I don't know if he ever will see this.
And so you didn't talk to him.
I couldn't get the confidence off.
He was literally telling people before we left at the lounge.
He's like, Can you guys get some information on this guy?
No, no, no, no.
I wasn't saying that.
I was saying, did you know his name?
Gay Vision Radar00:04:07
No, yeah, in a cute way.
It wasn't like weird.
No, no, but I couldn't.
I didn't.
I felt like you have a crush.
I do have a little crush, but I felt like it was a little awkward because he was working.
I didn't want to be on a guy who's definitely yeah, but who knows?
You know what?
It's the one that got away.
The one that have you heard the expression in the you in English, it means like the one that you could have had, but you never, it never happened.
Oh, you could have had it.
Okay, okay, yeah, the one that got away.
We have to find him.
We have to find him.
Yeah.
But, but, but maybe he doesn't like me.
So if you don't like me, don't ever say anything again.
And it'll just be in my dreams.
This is, I, I, this is so funny.
I have to show you a video, guys.
You're like a little kid.
Uh, I have to show you a video because there is like a famous French YouTuber who made a comic video about a Texan.
Oh, really?
About Koboy, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Yeah, and he made a song.
I have to show it on you.
Can you show it?
I have to show you.
Show us, can you?
We'll look at it on the computer, but is it possible for you to download it and then put it superimpose it in the videos?
Yeah, just the song, not the video, because the video is like 20, 20 minutes long.
But the song from the video.
I already know this video, by the way.
I've already seen.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Do you want to show it on the computer or pull it up on your phone?
Maybe.
No, no, no.
Pull it up on the computer.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you have speakers?
No.
Okay.
Oh, you don't have speakers.
I realized when you asked your phone, you could probably do it on your phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, on my phone, definitely.
I know what it is.
It's the three dudes that dress up like cowboy.
Oh, that's awesome.
But you know, it was like a huge thing in France.
It was a huge thing.
Even in America, we know about it.
Wait, I don't even know if I know about it.
Well, you don't follow pop culture like that.
I don't know if I know about it.
I'm very cool.
So they made a song.
So I showed the song, not the video, because the video is very long.
Just a song.
Yeah, just a song.
It's the burger one, right?
It's so crazy, you know it.
Would you mind opening my Coke, my fingers?
Sure, Austin.
You fucking asshole.
Oh, God.
Okay.
My fingers.
Thank you.
So, this guy is a huge fan of the US.
Like, he's a huge huge fan.
I could tell.
And he has some friends there.
He often goes to the United States.
And it's like kind of a tribute for him.
Here's the song.
Do you have to put the microphone?
No.
They can hear it.
I love it.
Did they make it like to make fun of?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just to have fun.
It's not serious.
It's honestly kind of accurate so far.
Okay.
Not a live chicken.
I'm pretty.
So I love it.
It's very good.
That is so cool to see how.
Is that how we're perceived?
No, it's like paradigm.
No, it's kind of paradigm.
Like, we know like some.
We think some Americans are like that, but we know most of them aren't.
You know?
No, no, no.
We are like that.
It's just so accurate.
But even you know, it's accurate.
I mean, yeah, it is pretty accurate.
100% accuracy.
Yeah.
We are very.
There are in Texas, there are Americans that are like that.
Like, unironically.
Hamburger.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, yes.
I mean, maybe not exactly like saying that.
Here's the thing that's not accurate about that video.
They're too fit.
Yeah.
These guys are like shredded Frenchmen.
Yeah.
Six-pack.
They're in way too good of a shape to be, you know, singing about burger and fried chicken.
Can I share this?
Accurate American Stereotypes00:14:59
I actually think the French are beautiful.
My gosh.
Is that like, is that bro?
You have been glazing France up.
I'm beyond it.
Like, you, the beautiful people, I didn't even realize.
I've been to Italy.
I've been to, I've been to Amsterdam.
I've been to Scandinavia.
The French.
Oh, magnificent.
Magnific.
Magnific.
Oh, my gosh.
I may move here.
I really may.
Oh, he's in love.
I'm in France right now.
I'm telling you, he did a really good job.
I'm not going to lie.
Such incredible meals.
I love talking shit about every country.
I talk shit about America the most, obviously, but I love talking shit about every country, especially.
And I make fun of France a lot.
I make fun of England more still.
So what's funny in France for you guys?
I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm done.
You know what?
I think for me, the beautiful thing about France is like just walking around in the streets and seeing a cafe and sitting down and enjoying a cigarette.
What do you mean?
Cigarette?
No, I said this today.
Like, I don't smoke and I can't handle it, but I thought I'll get you know, herbal cigarettes.
They're not even cigarettes.
Herbal?
No, like vape, you mean?
No, but like, no, they're, they're like, they don't have nicotine in them.
They're just fake.
Oh, okay, okay.
But they are cigarettes.
I really just smoke that.
I did for like this thing.
We did a shoot and we did the fake cigarettes.
But it makes France make it makes you want to sit at a cafe and smoke a cigarette and buy a baguette and put a beret on your head.
Maybe.
I don't know.
And a coffee.
And I had a baguette today.
I was walking around.
It was beautiful.
No, you're butter.
We did.
Like a ham.
Like a ham gruyere baguette.
We went to this place.
We went to this place to get clothes and it was all girl clothes.
So like we were walking down the street.
We walked in this random shop and the guys were like, oh, Americans.
Like they got really excited.
Yeah.
And they're asking us about our clothes or whatever.
So we asked them, like, where can we go?
What's a good spot to get baguettes or whatever?
And they pointed to the Boulingerie.
Just in the corner of every street in the future.
Yeah, yes.
But this one was special, apparently, because they had like all of these.
I guess there's like a competition for best croissant or best baguette in France.
And this one was like number five for many years.
And then they fell off a little bit.
They're number eight now.
Number five.
Yeah.
No, now they're number eight.
No, no, it's not even that.
It's like most of them have something on it saying in 2006, we won like the best baguette.
What the fuck?
Oh, and did they all have it?
Not all, but a lot of them.
Oh my god.
Okay.
It's for you guys when you come from US.
You see this and you're like, oh, this is a huge one.
Let's take our baguette.
We fell for this.
We fucking fell for that.
We fell for the draft.
We were like, oh my God, top five baguettes.
So it's immediately the best baguette that we've ever had.
No, honestly, it wasn't even that good.
That's why I was like, how is this number fucking eight?
I've had better baguettes in France before.
Yeah, we were in there like talking.
We were so impressed.
And I had it, but to me, it was still walking around at the baguette, looking at the beautiful cafes and the sun.
You were so much bitch.
You are literally the Emily in Paris watcher.
But you know what?
Also, it made me want to have a French romance.
Have one.
Find some French dude.
We have to do this again after.
I'm going to bring him on the podcast.
Oh, yeah, just here.
So you asked, what are the worst things about France?
Or what do we make fun of?
So first of all, everyone always makes fun of France because they're like, we baguette smoke cigarette every morning for lunch and breakfast.
I didn't know about the cigarette thing.
Yeah, no, they do.
They do make fun of that.
I had friends with me.
They were smoking.
They don't even smoke in the United States.
They were chain smoking for some reason.
More than English people, for example?
Yes, yes, for sure.
Oh, I didn't English people drink more, I think.
French people smoke more.
Yeah.
Okay.
Japanese people do both more than everyone else.
But there's that meme.
What else?
What else?
It's like, yeah, they're rude.
They hate Americans.
They don't speak English even if they can.
They're like, fuck you, Americans.
This last one is really true.
Like, for us, it's like a shame to speak English in front of us.
Like, I'm pretty sure right now, French people who are seeing this are like, oh, squeezy speaking English.
And in the game, it's like normal here.
Are they upset at you?
Are they like, they think it's funny?
No, they are just gonna, it's just funny for them to see me speak English.
And even more if I try to have a good English, you know, to speak English.
No, but your English English is very good.
I try, but I can't even.
You claim it's not, but it's very good.
You have a French accent, of course.
Sure.
But your English is phenomenal.
Yeah, but we like Americans love accent.
You know that?
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Spectacular.
She wasn't sure you knew the word.
Yeah, no, no, no.
It's very good.
It is spectacular.
And I don't think a lot of French people love American people.
They like more than they hate them.
I think.
You think more French people?
I think French people hate everyone, though.
Yeah, sure.
So you think more French people like Americans than hate them?
Definitely.
I'm pretty sure.
Not around us.
Not around us, but not in Paris, for example.
But if you take France, all France, people love the U.S.
I think they love American culture.
They probably don't, if they don't have a lot of experience with American people, they might love American culture.
But if they experience American people like the people in Paris do, then they're like, fuck these Americans.
Yeah, you piece of shit.
Eat your burger at home.
Fuck you.
And I learned, I think a lot of Americans come here as like the first time in Europe.
And I was sitting in line at the airport at Customs with some Americans that were all having this experience.
And it's hard because they're having fun.
You know, they're experiencing something new, but the stereotype, very loud, you know, very, you know, trying to impersonate the accent and things like this.
As I have been doing the entire trip.
But yeah, me too.
But it's fun.
It's fun.
Yeah.
But to your question, what don't I like about France?
It's the stereotypes that the French sometimes don't like American.
Like every time I try to speak a little French, I said, Merci.
I, for a long time, you're welcome is the response that I get most of the time.
So they respond in English?
Yes, most of the time.
Which I don't even think to French people it's insulting.
I think it's just this is.
No, I don't think so.
I think it's kind of be polite.
Like, oh, okay, I see you're American.
I will try to speak English.
Yes.
But I never thought it's a shame for me to.
I mean, we had a driver on the way over here that on the app, on the Uber app said he spoke five languages.
I said hello in four of them.
He didn't respond to either at any of them.
Bro, who looks at the app?
Who looks at the app and looks at what languages they speak?
So you can try to communicate with them in any of those languages.
I said bonjourno, hello, onion raceo, bonjour.
He spoke all of them and he said no.
He said he's like, this fucking tryhard.
I'm not sure.
I don't want to speak back to me at all.
He was not a speaker.
Yeah, but it's kind of difficult for French people to speak another language.
True, but no, no, I get it.
Even if they know how to speak, it's like see as a shame for us to speak English in front of each other.
But many French people that we've met are delightful.
I mean, look at the dinner you gave us.
I mean, that would be okay.
What else?
I want to speak out more stereotypes.
Let me think.
Oh, Paris does smell bad.
But there's every big city.
Depends on when you're in Paris.
Not as bad as New York City.
Yeah, it's not as bad as New York.
New York shocked me.
I went to New York one time.
No, no, New York smells worse.
New York is like probably one of the worst smelling cities on the planet.
For sure.
It's a little stinky in Paris.
It smells like pisses.
Also, anti-air conditioning.
Oh, yeah.
Anti-air conditioning.
Nobody likes air conditioning.
I went to three separate places and it broke during this heat wave.
They couldn't fix it.
The convention center had no air conditioning on the first level.
You know what?
Actually, I'm going to take it back.
When I said Paris smells bad, LA smells like shit, obviously, but it's like a different kind of bad, I think.
That's why it's like different.
It smells bad in its own unique way.
Okay.
But LA smells worse, and so does New York.
Yeah.
When I went to LA, I didn't smell like...
I don't find it like smell bad.
If you stayed in nice areas, it's...
I stayed...
Where did I stay?
I don't know.
Hollywood Boulevard definitely.
Oh, yeah.
I smell a lot.
Did you see Spider-Man in Hollywood?
Yeah, he was there.
He was there.
Was he there?
Yeah, he was a little bit strange, to be honest.
Was he?
Yes.
Spider-Man's always a bit strange on Hollywood Boulevard.
What was he doing?
Oh, just like take pictures with people, which is strange.
Yes, he was taking pictures.
He was not fighting crime.
No, not at all.
Yeah.
Nothing about Spider-Man on Hollywood Boulevard always makes me a little uncomfortable.
It's a little too tight.
Yeah, always.
He's got the balls.
Yeah, the ball.
Spider-Man.
Spider-Balls.
It's just weird.
You know, he's like on there.
He's over there taking pictures.
I bet if he was French, you'd be like, ho, ho, ho.
Yes, I'm sure you guys would have a sexy Spider-Man.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Yes, maybe.
Let's see.
You are becoming a Frenchman.
What would you say?
Let's see if there is Spider-Man under our FL Tower.
There are strange things too there.
That's true.
Oh, yeah.
I went to the Eiffel Tower.
They were selling little FL Tower.
Eiffel Towers for one Euro.
Yeah.
You bought one?
No.
I knew this was a trap, so I didn't buy one.
Nice.
Instead, I went to Paris, Disney, and I bought an Eiffel Tower with Mini Mouse.
Oh, yeah.
You went to Paris, Disney.
Go ahead.
Explain your...
Oh, yeah, you're a huge fan of Disney.
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Disney.
Disney, I love Disney.
And I wanted to go experience France, French culture, so I went to Disney.
And I went to Disney too.
I know it's not French culture.
No, no, it's not French culture.
But I wanted to see Disney and it was an amazing experience.
The food wasn't so good, but it's not good.
I feel like you go to different places around the world and you do the same shit that you would do in America.
Like what?
Like go to Disney?
At these different...
Yeah, you go to Disney, you go to gay bars.
Yeah, true.
That's it.
Gay bars are cool, though.
You like to experience gay bars in different parts of the world.
I think it's a cool experience.
Don't say you.
What do you mean, you?
He doesn't like to go to gay bars.
You would go with me to a gay bar.
He wouldn't go to a gay bar.
Yeah, I'm homophobic.
I'm homophobic.
He doesn't like gay people.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm not.
You're a freshest, too.
Yeah, she's a fishery.
Here we go.
Oh, no.
We have to talk about this.
We talk about it.
It's so crazy.
Tell him.
Tell him.
It's a crazy story.
Tell us a story.
So what happened at Pixel Wars?
Tell us about it.
So R slash Place Pixel Wars were happening last year around this time.
And it was apparently a very big deal for France because everyone was watching.
Like the entire nation was watching.
You made it to the news.
I mean, I was following French news a little bit.
So even I was shocked by it because you had this racist far-right candidate who came out and he spoke about it.
He was like, yeah, Pixel Wars, go France.
We're kicking every other country's ass type shit.
Right.
So at the end of it, when things got real heated, I said some things.
I said some things that I usually say in English in a joking manner, as I say, about America all the time because people are always like, fuck you, go back to Turkey.
So I'll be like, yeah, I'm here to do, you know, I'm doing the great replacement here, bitch, because it's a fake concept.
It's not real.
Explain what the great replacement is.
For those of you who don't know, because we don't speak about politics on this podcast, the great replacement is something that racist far-right white supremacists believe that like immigrants are coming into their country and they're replacing the pure, you know, whoever the nationality is, whoever like white people or the in-group is, right?
We have it in America.
They have it in France as well.
So to the French, I thought they were being racist to me.
So I was like, yeah, I'm doing the great replacement.
I'm fucking your mom.
That's how I'm doing the great replacement.
I'm replacing you by fucking your mom.
And then they heard Le Grande Replacement.
Yeah.
And they just thought I was being racist.
They thought I was being like pro that concept.
Which is true.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
So yeah, they were like, you're fucking fashion.
And I felt really bad because Kameto is Muslim.
Yeah.
Right.
And when I found that out, I was like, oh, no, this guy thinks I'm like, this guy thinks I'm like pro this concept.
So I DM'd him immediately.
I'm like, I'm so sorry.
I'm Muslim.
Like, you know, I shit on those people all the time.
And it's fine.
We're, we're, you know, we're, we're good now.
But at the time, a lot of people just saw that clip and they were like, this guy's a fascist.
And it's so funny because when you know your political board, your content, and people who say he's fascist, you're just like, what the fuck are you saying?
He's like the opposite officer.
Yeah, so that's so funny.
That's why I'm making a joke about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People did not know that, though.
They question him at the border.
Yeah.
They do cursor me at the border.
I get bomb swapped every time.
Wait, even into France?
Not into France this time.
In the U.S., coming back home, you do?
Yeah.
You give them an American passport.
It doesn't matter.
I always get randomly.
I always get randomly selected.
They let me go through.
I get randomly selected.
Wait, like in custom every time.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
That's.
Well, it's usually before you get onto the plane.
Oh, it's because you're always late to the fucking plane.
That's why.
No.
Yes.
I've been, it happens to me.
If you're late to the plane, I'm not.
Maybe it's something else.
No, they put it.
It's called face.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what it is.
They put four S's on your boarding pass.
If you have four S's on your boarding pass, I think it means like secondary security, security like secret security secondary something.
I don't know.
It is.
If they put four S's on your boarding pass, that means you've been marked for a randomly selected search, a secondary search.
And so you always have that on your...
I usually have it, yeah.
Well, you know, Hassan, I think it is random because I'm a Lebanese American.
Oh, my God.
A Lebanese American with a broken finger.
Yes, by the way, I was in, I was, you know, it's not broken.
Reclaiming the F Slur00:06:38
I was in a bar and I met a Lebanese guy.
And I was like, I'm Lebanese.
I'm Lebanese.
He's like, you don't look Lebanese.
He's like, you don't look Lebanese.
But you know, there's a lot of Lebanese people here in France.
Yeah.
Yes, I feel at home.
I really do.
You're from fucking Portland.
Look, I am Lebanese, though.
Seriously, not a joke.
Really?
Like your dad or your mother?
My dad.
Your dad?
Yeah, yeah.
He is the most whitewashed, Americanized Lebanese man.
Have you ever been to Lebanon?
No, but I want to go.
No.
I've never been to Lebanon, but my blood is strong with Lebanese culture.
Really?
I feel it.
What's the flag look like?
What's the flag?
It's got a tree.
Yeah, it's got a tree in it.
What are the colors?
Red, white, green.
Okay.
That's good.
I'm testing it.
Yeah, of course.
I know my country.
Good job.
Yeah, Lebanon.
Give me some of the political factions of Lebanon.
Well, look, I don't get into that politics.
Yeah, we are going into talking.
No, no, no, no.
Tell us some.
One of the foundations of Furyan is we don't talk politics.
Oh, bro, you can't even say like Hezbollah.
There's two things I don't think.
They're like famous.
Look, there's a lot of I don't do on the Furyan podcast.
Say the F-Slur and talk politics.
He says the F-slur all the time.
He said it at dinner.
Do you know the F-slur?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just thought about it about it.
Say it.
No, I don't.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah, you see, he said, oh, you were talking about it because he doesn't stop saying it off camera.
It's so fucked up.
I didn't even learn use the translations.
Yes, so they told me to say I'm not going to say it.
But they told me the word in French, and it's so insane.
It's pretty funny.
You can't even like, like in the U.S., we've reclaimed the word like in English.
What do you mean?
Oh, that's why you keep saying, you know, I don't say it, but we reclaim it.
So you've reclaimed the word.
Yeah, the S, but I still don't say it.
In France, the word is, I'm not even going to say it, but it's so crazy, you can't even reclaim it.
You get the point, which is why you can't reclaim that.
You can't be like, yeah, oh, yeah, I love doing that, which is crazy.
Yeah.
But I guess it doesn't.
You were explaining to us that people don't even know that that's what it like.
People know what it is, but they don't even think that that's what they're saying when they say it, when they use it.
Yeah, that's it.
Like they don't even know the origin.
It's a true sense because it's something like happened in the 80s.
And so people now, they don't know.
Yeah, people forgot about it.
So now there is many words in French, which is the case.
Like encou lespai.
Like another one, but you can say it.
You can say like everybody is saying it.
But it just means like you had a dick in your ass.
So it's just homophobic.
And everybody's saying, what if I'm not?
Oh, yeah, we say that in Turkish too.
We have that as well.
But what if I just had a dick in my ass and on cul espadai?
You have this word in English or not?
No.
No, no, we don't have it in English, but we have it in Turkish.
Okay.
Yeah, in Turkish, what do they say?
Well, I, so this is actually uses it a lot.
This is really interesting because, like, like, obviously, all jokes aside, I'm not a homophobic person, but it's very important, but uh, when I was growing up in Turkey, we used to use the F slur all the time, and I never realized like that it was literally the F slur, yeah, right?
So I was just saying it, and the word is ibne, it means uh, the F word, right?
In Turkish, um, until I was hanging out with a gay Turkish friend of mine in America, and I had it's been like 10 years, so like my cultural understanding is like stuck because I, in my cultural understanding of like Turkish language and what the slang I use is like stuck in 2009 because that's the last time I was in Turkey, like speaking Turkish all the time, right?
So I caught myself right before I said it because you say it like lovingly, you know what I mean?
It's not even like uh, oh, you're you're uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like you'll be like, oh, this, this uh, F word over here, like, oh, I love the F slur.
Like, I don't know how do you know?
Yeah, no, literally, it's so endearing.
No, it's like, uh, it's weird, it's impossible to describe culturally, and it's not like that word at all because that one is like maximum the worst thing you can say.
The yeah, yeah, uh, the French version, it's a P word, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, uh, and I caught myself and I asked him, I was like, damn, is this the F-slur?
Like, is this how you would say the F-slur?
Like, is it, is it a no-no in Turkey now to say it?
And he's like, yeah.
And that's when I realized, like, holy shit, you know, language evolves.
That's number one.
And number two, your, your cultural understanding is like deeply connected to the language that you use.
I don't know.
I just, I just wanted to say I say it all the time.
That's why I know it's just, I forgot where I was going with that.
My train of thought went.
I forgot where you're going with it, too.
But it's okay.
I wanted to give you guys a little taste of Turkish culture there.
Did you know in Turkey, you cannot join the military if you're gay?
True.
You're not gay in Turkey unless you take it.
Unless you're a bottom.
Unless you're a bottom.
Okay.
No top bottom.
No.
Like if you're getting fucked in the ass rather than just sugarcoat it a little bit.
Sorry, come on.
We're in his home.
Okay, so you can't say you're gay if you're not bottom.
In Turkey, they don't consider you gay in the military unless you're taking it up the ass.
Yes.
So if you're just giving it, you're not gay.
It's called a pink slip or a kunfotorofu.
And in order to get like medically declared gay, in order to not do military service, back in the day, you had to show a group of like doctors and like military supervisors a photo of you getting fucked in the butt.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Well, I don't even think they do it anymore.
But it was definitely a practice for a very long time.
And if you were fucking another man.
He's arranging his exit to the podcast.
He's gone too far.
Yeah, he's.
Yeah, it's really weird.
But if you were fucking someone, they didn't consider it to be gay.
It's wild.
Okay, strange consideration.
So in Turkey, you're straight.
Yes, I'm straight in Turkey.
And you met me.
I'm not very straight.
I don't know.
Yes, austra.
I haven't taken any photos.
Defying Straight Stereotypes00:08:33
That's true.
You haven't bought him yet.
No, no.
No, that's true.
So you can join Turkey's armies.
I can.
I can fight for the Turkish military.
All right, give us some stereotypes about Americans.
Go.
Yeah.
Unhinged.
Go as crazy as you want.
Okay, I have to think about it.
So, yeah, we see them as a lot of fat people, basically.
This is just not even a stereotype.
It's not going to be stereotypical.
Which needs like a big stereotype.
Oh, yeah, things about guns.
Like, I'm American.
I have also not a stereotype, just true.
Okay.
Very true.
You want to stereotype?
It's just the truth.
You want to hear a fucking insane statistic that I saw today?
A toddler, like a baby, okay, has shot a person with a gun every single week in the United States of America for the past two years straight.
Every single week, a toddler has shot someone with a gun.
He can have a gun at home?
Like, you're not supposed to put it in your case or right to bear arms.
You are supposed to, but many people don't.
You want to know what that's called?
It's called freedom.
Okay?
That's called teaching them young.
We think these toddlers should have the right to defend themselves.
Yes.
Okay.
Imagine you're a toddler.
That's a good idea.
Imagine you're a toddler at preschool and somebody looks at you the wrong way.
You know what I mean?
Or you're a toddler and you don't even know what a gun is.
No, realistically, toddlers can't have guns, but usually it's...
Yes, they can take the one of their parents.
Their parents, that's what's happened.
What's another stereotype?
That you think is a stereotype about Americans.
Stereotypes, like they're all superficial.
We're now entering stereotype.
Okay.
What do you mean, superficial?
Like you meet someone and at the first second, you're saying, oh, your record is amazing.
Oh, your closes are so nice.
Wow.
Materialistic.
No, like they're being nice, but it's a front.
Okay.
Like they don't fake.
They're fake.
This is kind of like this is where I start to disagree with the stereotypes.
Because as I just.
Watch him.
He's going to get defensive.
No, no, no.
He loves America.
No, no.
I genuinely love to meet people and be nice to them.
And, you know, sometimes I may be commenting on somebody's shirt and maybe it's not as cool as I think it is.
But I want them to feel good about it.
I want them to feel.
It doesn't come from a place of...
Well, you can't be defending every stereotype that he gives us.
What?
But maybe we are a bit comondi, égris en français.
Agree.
You know, French people are like snobbing idiots.
So we don't like used to be so nice so fast when we meet someone.
Oh, so it takes in France, it takes a while to get to know somebody.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Americans are very, in fact, it's the opposite.
In the U.S., you're nice when you meet somebody very quickly.
Yeah.
And then you figure out whether they're going to lose that respect.
Okay.
Basically.
Okay, would that be accurate?
That's fine.
Yeah.
What other thing?
Like, you guys enjoy very big cars?
Yes, that's true.
I love big cars.
Okay, we're back to truthful statements.
Yeah, this is back.
The last one was, but this one is true.
Okay.
Guns, true.
Fat, true.
Bigoted, also true in parts of the country.
What is it?
Racist.
Ah, racist.
Also true.
Also true in parts of the country.
What else?
No, like a lot of parts of the country.
Houses is like, I don't know how to say it.
Sample, l'Ermaison Journe les mur y son.
Houses are made of cardboard.
Also true.
Oh, no, I know.
Oh, yeah.
He's got to defend America.
There's nothing.
Look at him.
He's like white.
He's like, I literally see videos of people which are building houses in like woods, but in tornado areas.
So like the first tornado who comes through, the house just he's right.
He's talking about drywall.
Like you can punch through the wall.
Yeah.
We have a meme in America.
It's called Kyle.
Okay.
We call it a Kyle.
He punches through the drywall when he gets angry.
He drinks white monster.
Okay.
He drinks white monster energy drinks and he punches drywall.
There was a white monster?
Yeah.
It's a monster energy drink, but it's white.
It's a sugar-free.
Okay.
And Kyles love drinking that.
Okay.
And then they love punching drywall.
Okay.
Yeah.
Punching holes in the wall.
The whole American infrastructure is solid.
It's not solid.
He wants to defend America at all cost.
On that note, on that note, before you continue defending America furiously, because I can tell it's about to get really heated.
It's about to get really, really heated, which is why we're going to switch over to the paywall portion of the broadcast.
Yes, everybody.
That's right.
Thank you.
You can continue watching Austin furiously defend the United States of America's sanctity against our French interlocutors.
Hundreds of years of culture.
I'm about to define it.
Just 100, actually.
Not that long.
200 and 200.
You know, barely.
But we'll talk more about that.
But before we leave you guys, I wanted to ask, is there anything you would like to promote?
Where can people find you?
Yes, please.
Nothing at all, guys.
I just enjoy the moment with you.
Anyway, my videos are just in French.
So we're not going to find it.
I encourage you guys to watch.
No, no, no.
No, I don't want to promote anything.
Gentlemates is his esports organization.
Yes.
You can do English subtitles in your videos, right?
Yeah, maybe I will.
But you have so many good creators in the US.
So I'm like, well, I'm going to watch them anyway.
Yeah.
Well, we're definitely going to be watching.
But your future French boyfriend will teach you French French.
And you'll be able to see my videos.
That's a good intro.
Maybe I should have...
That's what I should have said to him.
I should have said, let's watch YouTube videos together, France.
The first thing you should be telling every French person is my best friend Squeezy.
And then everyone will be like, oh my God, this guy knows Guizy.
It's over.
Oh, my God.
We need to go to the gay bar.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
There is one thing, like the Formula Four thing in September, which will be a huge event.
Is it in France?
Yeah.
It's at Le Mans, not in Paris, like three hours road.
Let's go.
It's on Twitter.
Is that Le Mans?
Yeah.
No, no.
Let's go.
You know, Les Van Catre, Dumont, Van Catre, Le Mont?
I don't know, but I will go.
It's like, you know, a race between like 60 cars during for like 24 hours stretch.
Wow.
That's amazing.
You don't know about Le Mans?
I'm going to go.
I'm going to take my French husband.
No, no, it's not what I'm doing.
Oh, that's not what he's doing, but it's a famous circuit.
Okay, I guess it's a famous circuit.
Well, when you do it, let's go.
Okay, it's 9 September.
I will invite you.
Perfect.
It's on Twitch.
It's live stream on Twitch.
That's why.
Yeah, what you live streamed it last time.
Squeezy.
Squeezy.
He live streamed it last time, and it got a million plus concurrent viewers.
I mean, massive event.
And it's probably going to do double that at least, maybe 10x that is what we're thinking.
Yeah, yeah.
So come and see it.
10 million.
I'm pretty sure.
They're going to watch it.
Come watch to see the view count.
This is what's so crazy about American content creators.
Like, I just sit in my fucking living room.
This guy over here is like throwing an actual Grand Prix type event.
Yeah, but we do both.
Like, French people love both.
If you only do huge things, they're going to say, oh, fuck you, man.
Just go in your studio, talk to us.
Like, I'm tired of your show.
Both sides.
And if you only stay in your studio, they will say, man, do big things.
Yes, of course.
So if you, we love both in France.
That's why a lot of streamers of American streamer are seen by French people because you guys just like this sit, talk, and we love that too.
Yeah, this is amazing.
Phenomenal.
It's been a pleasure having you on.
We're going to go to the Patreon part of the episode.
Yes.
And if you want more of that, you need to go to patreon.com slash.
Yeah, we're going to have an intense debate.
France versus the United States.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Patreon.com slash fear and see you on the other side.