Hasanabi and Will Neff return from Japan to gift QTCinderella pajamas, a blobfish, and an anime drawing by Kanini, sparking tension over her solo Disney Sea trip and alleged homophobia during a date. They recount disputes over seating, a Taylor Swift concert bet worth $10,000, and praise ANA's superior service compared to US carriers. The episode concludes with the hosts announcing a new Patreon segment dedicated to reading customer service grievances without defending those who make mistakes. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Awful Friend in Japan00:12:52
I'm ordering two cold brews.
Look, one thing everybody knows is...
I'm not listening to your countdown at all.
No, no, it's fine.
Everybody, we are back from Japan.
Oh, yeah, I did that on purpose.
And every day feels like dying now that I'm back in the States.
Thank you.
Japan was a wonderful country.
I had a great time, as you guys all saw.
Oh, we got a great beat.
This is the end of Pride Month, as we know it.
It's over.
It's actually July 1st, July 1st.
The gayest month is done.
That's right.
We are no longer going to keep up appearances as though we are allies as we are the corporate brands ourselves.
We have decided we're going to be very honest, brutally honest on this episode.
Will came in and literally said, I'm going to read Austin today.
And he kept going up with like the, he kept putting his hand further and further into the air.
I don't know what that even means.
Because Hassan, reading is fun.
Yep.
Dimental.
You don't watch Drag Race.
No, I don't.
I was like...
What's funny is I don't either.
And I was like, what the fuck is he saying?
And I'm supposed to be the gay one.
You're bad at being.
I'm a bad gay Hassan.
You're bad this morning by beating me.
You wish.
He was beating me because he said and calling me the F-Slur.
Austin has been staying here and lying, apparently.
So nothing is different.
I did.
I stayed.
Oh, what's going on?
Go keep on.
Okay.
I did stay here last night.
I thought I'd be a good friend.
That's crazy.
That's awesome.
Stay a good friend and stay at Hassan's.
Dude, that's so sick.
Thanks, man.
I love that.
I really think he needed some company.
Austin Show Civil Rights Hero.
Yep, that's right.
Yeah.
You stayed in a homophobe's home.
I really did.
I really did.
Really did.
Cutie, you missed a hell of a Japan trip.
We had a great time.
Speaking of the Japanese trips.
It's like no one likes you anymore.
Yeah.
I want to get into something.
You were in the group chat, weren't you?
Yeah, Q was in the group chat.
We were all tasked with buying cutie gifts.
Yeah.
We were.
And I think to give these gifts is a fun way to get into our Japan conversation.
So I'd like to go.
I actually got gifts for everybody.
Oh, my God.
You're such an asshole.
Okay, I have to go that.
Okay.
Like, you would, you fucking brown nose or you would get a gift for every single person.
Well, I got us all kikarumies.
What's a kikarumi?
A kikarumi is a traditional pair of Japanese pajamas.
Actually, I don't know if it's traditional at all.
They're very fun.
They're like feebly jammy.
But they come in a lot of different colors and shapes and stuff.
And this one's cutie.
And I got you the Eevee.
Yay!
Because she's the most versatile Pokemon by far.
She can evolve into many different things.
However, she was Nuzlopped out of Japan.
Why?
You didn't go to Japan, Cutie.
Oh.
And I'm hoping that in the future, you'll evolve to be able to go with us for the Taylor Swift concert.
Yeah, we're going back to Japan in February.
In February.
That's right.
And going to Tokyo in February?
Actually, those are your thoughts.
Wait, what?
Yes.
These are part of your gift.
You didn't let me get it.
It was here.
It was right here.
I put it on.
I'm putting it on my EV.
I'm taking on the dumbest lights of your trip was the sea otter.
Oh!
So I found the sea otter in extra, extra large.
It says medium on there.
Does it?
Oh, no, no, right.
It says Meltwin.
Adults XL.
New item.
That's what it says.
It doesn't say Meltwin.
So I loved your joy that you had with the Otters.
So I was hoping to capture that joy again with this costume.
My favorite thing is that you're an Ameribou, so I got you these glasses with floaties to go with them to remind you of your American side.
Wait, so is this from Japan?
No, did any of these gifts come from Japan?
Yes, the Kikurumi is a Japanese gift, but did you get it in Japan?
He did not, but it's okay.
He's cheating.
I oh, he got one for himself.
Oh, of course I did.
Wait, are we wearing these to Anime Expo later?
Well, we're wearing these now.
I'm wearing it now.
Yeah, we wear these to Anime Expo later.
I'm going to get myself Cthulhu because I really loved the octopus in the aquarium.
You're just a fan.
I also found my power in Japan.
I really found.
I thought we were going to say you're just a fan of HB Lovecraft specifically on the race.
I don't think you didn't get Austin one.
Well, we haven't gotten there yet, so I'm a little concerned.
But we got to put these on, you understand.
Well, yeah, you'd think that you'd think that maybe everybody would wait for me to get mine.
Nah, I'm going to go outside and put it on.
That's how seriously I'm taking this whole thing.
Well, guys, it looks great gifts.
I'm sure I got something really good.
I'm excited because it's kind of cold in here.
I'm sure I got something really good.
I'm sure there's something else in that bag.
I made it as cold in here as possible, actually.
I knew that it's cool.
Well, it'll get hot.
You guys really look good in those, by the way.
Oh, Austin.
Yeah.
I got you one too.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, fuck.
I got you this blob fish.
Oh, my God.
And I got it on the Wish app.
Austin, can you...
Oh, shit.
It's a blobfish?
It's a blobfish.
Wait, what is it one of these?
No.
Wait, what do you mean?
I got that one on the Wish app.
Wait, the Wish.
Did you not even get this in Japan?
Why is there a hair on it?
Shut up and take your gift.
Thank you, Will.
I can't even open it.
It's like this.
I got your gift on a disgusting app because that's how you spent your entire time in Japan.
Okay.
Okay.
Look, I don't want to hear this slap.
Can you at least open it?
Can you at least open it?
Yes.
Can you at least open the bag for me?
Look, I got a great gift, and you guys are all going to be so.
The funny thing is.
My gift is better than any of your gifts.
I can't even open this bag.
You know what the greatest part about this is?
We specifically had almost all of our trip conversations in the degenerates text group.
Yeah.
Which means that cutie was privy to everything.
Not only that, but we also were location sharing.
So cutie was in real time tracking us the entire time in Japan.
So open.
Here's the funny part about the entire thing: is that you can't really get away with lying because she knew exactly where you were and exactly where you weren't for the entirety of the trip.
With the rest of the group.
Wait, hold on.
I was on every stream until the stream was over.
Then I left.
Why didn't you hang out with your friends?
Look, cutie.
I was having my own Japanese experience.
What does that mean?
Japanese experience, in parentheses, gay.
Yeah.
I was enjoying Japan in a very gay way.
I thought it was illegal to be gay there.
Well, I was.
I wish it was.
I found some underground places.
Look, you know what?
Maybe I wasn't the best friend on this trip.
Maybe I wasn't.
You're the one that wanted to.
I wasn't, you know.
I wasn't the.
Can you still hear me?
Yeah.
Take your blobfish.
Maybe I wasn't the best friend.
You know what?
I'll be a good friend by wearing this blobfish, okay?
And I'm sure it fits just like a glove.
Okay.
Hold on.
Let me see if I can.
Okay.
Fits just like a glove.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Let me uh.
50th episode, by the way.
50th.
Oh, hey, 50th episodes.
All right.
Look, sit here.
There's blobfish on here.
Put the hat on.
Okay, hold on.
Wait until I zip it up.
Just...
Okay, hold on.
Let me.
Stop.
I don't want to sit next to you.
Yes.
Yes.
You kind of deserve to sit next to him.
I don't care.
I don't get it.
Look at you, okay?
Look at you guys.
Don't look much better.
Okay.
We look great.
What do you mean?
You don't look much better.
All right.
You look adorable.
He is the most intelligent water being.
I'd like to issue an official apology.
Okay.
This is the best part.
What do you do?
That was so much.
I know.
He literally sent my brother even like an apology.
Austin.
Which is nice.
It's nice that he did that.
Look, you know what?
I wasn't in the best mental state in Japan.
And I'm getting better slowly but surely.
You're not in Japan anymore.
I know.
But, you know, as I come back to the United States.
And you know what?
I just wasn't the best of friends.
I wasn't a good friend.
What do you do?
I just wasn't present.
I was in my phone most of the time.
Yeah, I saw that awful date you guys went on.
Yeah, that was awful.
I need an apology for that one.
You know, you need to apologize to the guy you're on the date with.
Excuse you?
What?
What?
She flipped it on you.
How is that?
It's a fucking stream.
Just smile, baby.
It's show this.
Oh, you can tell that.
You could tell that to Hassan, who could have smiled during his Miya Maucova date five years ago.
I did, though.
And it was content.
Until he walked out of the end of a five, six hour stream.
Okay.
I never, I never walked out of anything.
Okay.
Yeah, you mentally walked out during this guy.
I did not expect Cutie Cinderella to flip you on your.
Put the hat back on.
Look.
He wants his hair to show so bad.
Look.
I love that this also comes out.
Wait, that's cute.
That's cute.
Look.
I mean, not really, but I'm pushing the boundaries here.
It looks trash.
Cutie.
I was put in an impossible situation.
They hired a wonderful Japanese date that couldn't speak English, which is totally fine.
And I'm in Japan.
Oh, so you're racist too.
No.
Homophobic and racist.
Right.
But you know how hard it is to have a date on camera with somebody and try to speak to them and they don't.
You had a translator.
They weren't translating.
Now you're cheating on the wonderful Kaho Shibuya.
Kaho was amazing, but I asked her to translate and pretty soon they just were having conversation without me.
That's like, I was like, he would say something to her and then she kept laughing and pointing and laughing and they were both laughing and trying to translate.
And it was just, look, you know what?
I could have been a better sport about it, but it was a tough situation, cutie.
It was a very tough situation.
I was jet lagged.
I didn't have a choice of who I was dating.
And he was wonderful.
He was really great, but we didn't have a lot in common.
That's interesting.
You know, not having a choice of who you date.
Sounds like love or host.
No, no, no.
That we have all been on.
Wow.
Look.
I've been on it four times, by the way.
Oh, I've been on it like 20.
Look, it's not.
I'm two over here for me.
I'm going to say this.
It's not my problem.
I give you 10 options and none of them are good for you.
No, no, no.
We're the daters.
We're the fucking losers that you put up.
I had to date freaking.
Oh, I was.
You put me on a date with Method Josh.
How do you feel now?
Okay.
Oh, look, this is before we knew about any of this.
Okay.
Cutie came in firing missiles.
Oh my God.
I almost feel bad.
I thought I was going to come in and be the one giving you sad.
Oh my God.
I can't say that.
That's a joke.
This is a joke.
You know, look.
It's okay.
You did your best.
I did my best.
Cutie, though.
You did your best, but it wasn't good.
Okay, now I'm starting to get the anger that I had.
Yeah, I get it.
But these guys were a problem, too.
I was watching the stream, and you two were like jeering and like at the boy love cafe.
I was trying to enjoy the date and trying to get into it.
And every time I would say something, they'd be like, and then they'd point and laugh at me.
We had so much fun.
Yeah, we were being homophobic.
We were being way gayer than Austin, actually.
Yeah, you guys were kissing.
I would have enjoyed the experience a lot more had I not had the date.
I would like enjoy.
I wish I could have boy loved during the cafe.
I think it was supposed to be separate, but then the timelines had to be collapsed.
It would have been better had I been able to enjoy boy love at the cafe without my date because my date, I don't think, knew what was going on.
Yeah, you don't bring sand to the beach.
Exactly.
Oh, my God.
You know shit where you were.
Tokyo Disney First Ride00:15:04
But you know what?
It's actually way cooler than it's supposed to be.
Yeah, it is.
I don't really understand why you.
This is my shit.
You're like Bane in pajamas.
No one cared who I was until I put on the boys.
But you look like an assassin.
I wish the Otter wasn't.
I'm going to find one of us in the wreckage, brother.
Oh, you know the lines.
So it's okay.
We're not mad.
You know what?
It's okay.
You know what?
But I had a beautiful hotel room with a beautiful view.
That was another gripe is that he didn't stay with the boys the whole point.
Wait, no, no, no.
The bonding challenge.
I'm going to defend myself on this one.
I wouldn't change this.
Hassan Piker decided instead of staying in a beautiful hotel room with a fabulous view, they stayed in a compound.
Oh my God.
There was no windows.
There were no windows.
You couldn't even see.
Japanese zoning laws actually quite literally dictate that every single floor gets ample amount of ample.
Yeah, windows into outside into more concrete.
Like it was just like windows.
It was like a jail.
Did you feel like you had ample light, natural light in your room directly?
It was a jail.
He was in the basement of the jail.
It was a jail.
It's so funny because if you guys look at this place, there were windows out into concrete.
It's literally like you couldn't even see anything outside.
I agree with some of these components.
I will say, I don't want to stay there again, but it's like a super fancy four-story Airbnb mansion.
It was just talking about.
Just letting you know.
It was like 2011 architecture.
It's Japan, Austin.
The automatic door when I walked in was locked.
That's Austin.
We're talking about Japan.
There are businesses there that were literally built 2,000 years ago and maintained by the same familial lineage.
Okay.
Japan, not exactly known for being the peak of modernity.
They hit their peak in the 90s and stayed there.
If you noticed, everything is like super modern for the 90s.
They still use fax machines there.
You know, that would have been good information to know before.
You probably are unfamiliar with this because you were on your phone the whole time.
When I wasn't on my phone, I was looking out at that fabulous view.
Listen, Austin, the only reason I was angry because I wanted to experience Japan with my best friends.
I agree.
That's why I was upset.
I just felt like that last night in particular, knowing you were going home, you didn't come out to spend the night with us.
When we made an arrangement for you to come to a private sake bar with us and to get on stage at a concert with us.
Look, I've got the reason I was there.
He's got an itch.
No, the reason, no, no, the reason I wasn't there.
Oh, is that a gun?
The reason I wasn't there is I was so absorbed selflessly going to Tokyo Disney.
What?
I went.
Will told me to have an adventure.
He probably should have clarified that it shouldn't have been on a day where he planned one of the most iconic nights of.
I also went on an adventure though.
I know, I know.
But I went.
And then I did the stream.
Yes.
Hold on.
The text message he sent to the group was, what was it?
I'm selfish, I guess.
No, what did you say?
You literally, that was iconic.
I was like, Austin, we set this reservation up.
We made this dinner.
Like, are you coming?
What's going on?
And you were like, oh, time got ahead of me.
I guess I'm flaky.
Did that upset you?
Yes.
It just upset me because that was probably, guys, Marsh, Hassan, that was probably the best night in Japan, correct?
It was a great night.
A lot of fun.
And to have you not experience it, not because you were busy, but just because you were laying in your bed.
No, I was in Tokyo Disney.
Oh, and then I was laying in my bed.
No, you were laying in your bed.
I had to.
You actually felt the need to send us a picture of you and your bed.
Did I really?
Yes.
God, that's really, that's like salt and at 9 p.m.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He was tired.
I was sleepy.
But I had planned to go out.
I was going to take a little nap.
And then I woke up and it was the next morning.
Usually how that goes.
Yeah.
So you got me a present at Tokyo Disney?
I did.
What did you give me?
Cutie?
It's like a shirt he's wearing and he's like, I got it.
And I'm going to keep it.
Cutie, I did try to get you some clothes, but they were all my size.
Surprisingly.
They were all my size.
In Japan, you're saying.
Yeah, they were all my size.
And I was like, oh, shit, this is not going to, this is not a women's clothing.
This is men.
Anyway.
Yeah, Disney famous for not having anything for women.
Quickly, before we move on, how do we evaluate my gifts to the group?
I give it a 10 out of 10.
Yeah, this is a 10 out of 10.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
This is like me going after Germa at the fucking Connor Dog voice acting auction.
How am I going to follow this?
Are you not cozy?
How am I going to follow up with that?
I have improved the episode.
This is a competition.
Look at that.
Put your head forward.
It's true.
You did.
You did improve it.
I feel like that reflects sometimes his attitude very well.
Look, my attitude, I'm going to have a better attitude.
Like a womp womp.
That fucking dick hangs out.
I'm not going to be...
I'm not going to beat you.
I'm not going to have a bad ass.
I'm not going to be a swampy dick anymore.
By the way, you like those?
Hold on.
I love these.
Before we move on, I love them.
Before we move on, I just want you guys to all admit this.
We all deserve to have our moments.
Oh, my God.
And you're about to have your moment when you give cutie her fantastic.
Not that moment.
I'm talking about our badass.
I'm talking about his bad moment.
Oh, for sure.
We all have our bad.
Well, you're about to have that moment when you give cutie her face.
You're fine.
Everyone forgives you.
Thank you.
Yeah, we just had to give you shit.
Okay, it's good.
Okay, now.
This is just very, this is a gift that I really thought about.
Okay.
Cutie.
I know it's a tattoo of my name.
Cutie, you have been, you have been deprived of going to.
You've been deprived of going to Disney for so long.
Tokyo.
Tokyo Disney.
Yeah, okay.
And I experienced a lot of things, and I felt like as I was experiencing these things, I was experiencing them for you.
Wow.
Well, I can go someday.
So I was sitting in line and I walked up and I asked for a free sticker.
You got a free sticker for me.
I said, I said, you know what?
I'm not going to keep this sticker.
It says my.
By the way, for those of you at home, it says, wow.
Yeah.
First ride.
This is an official Tokyo Disney, my first ride free sticker.
Wait, but she didn't even go on the ride.
No, but I did.
Yeah, and it's like I went on the ride.
What ride was it?
And I don't remember.
Journey to the center of the earth.
Was it fun?
Yes, it was fun.
It was actually my second time riding it.
Is it just like an elevator?
It was very cool.
But I got you this sticker and I want you to keep it.
It's crazy because Tokyo Disney probably has so many cool things.
You know what?
You should be thankful.
Thank you for the gift.
For this free sticker.
You're welcome.
I was so excited when you said Tokyo.
Do you want me to sign it for you?
No.
Okay.
It does say wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
And just to let you know, if anybody's wondering, in case I bought it in the United States, it has Japanese on the back of it.
No one thought you did that.
Okay.
All right.
Everyone believes you got it.
Just in case you guys think I landed and went to Disneyland and bought that for you.
Thank you, Austin.
I love it.
They famously sell.
Wow, first ride.
Wow.
Thank you.
Wow.
Yeah.
First ride.
This is a hug.
Yes.
Oh.
You're welcome, Cutie.
You're so welcome.
Thank you.
I'm so happy I could do that.
Did you get anything for yourself while you were there?
Yeah, I got myself a Tokyo Disney backpack and a shirt.
You don't think she would have appreciated the Tokyo Disney backpack?
This is more sentimental.
You don't think she would have appreciated the Tokyo Disney backpack.
No.
Which is unisex.
Hanging over his fucking eyebrows.
A unisex Tokyo Disney backpack.
Look at this.
This sticker is.
Look, cutie, if you really want the backpack, there's a lot of underwear in it.
I can't.
I don't want it.
It's fine.
Wait, I want to see the backpack.
I want to see how sick.
I want to see how sweet this backpack is that he did not get.
It's very cool.
It's like crazy.
There's so many things at Disneyland.
Marsh went to Disneyland.
Was there cooler things he could have gotten me?
What do you mean?
Wow.
Yeah.
First ride.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
First ride.
I mean, you get the privilege.
You get the privilege of throwing away Austin's trash.
It's just the fact that it's Disney.
Oh, it's a gay backpack.
I'm fine.
Wow.
That backpack is gay as hell.
It would have been funnier if you were like, I really love that.
Oh, damn it.
And we forced him to give it to you.
The thing about Japan that I noticed is they've reclaimed the rainbow for straight people.
What?
Like, they don't...
When you see a rainbow in Japan, it's like here, it's like, oh, that's gay.
In Japan, it's just a rainbow.
Why do you go, oh, that's gay?
No, that's just, that's right.
Like, in Japan, it's like they had a rainbow thing, rainbow pancakes, and it wasn't a gay pancake store.
It was just a rainbow one.
No, it was because he learned in Hawaii, remember?
Yeah, I know, but like, you could, most people here.
You couldn't be gay?
No, I'm just saying that was a very specific incarnation of why he was using a rainbow.
You think that was a gay backpack from Disney?
Didn't it say pride on it?
No, I don't, maybe I didn't read it.
But look, I'm so happy.
Thank you.
I'm so happy for this sticker.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, Hassan.
Try topping that.
I was kind of hoping Hassan would forget so he could just roast him.
No, I did not.
I was hoping one person would forget so he could make fun of him.
I did not forget.
All right, that's fine.
I'm on my present.
I wanted to get you, Cutie Cinderella.
He might have forgotten.
Did you forget?
No, I did not.
I swear to God.
I got that.
I was still in Japan.
I feel like that.
That's worse, that you went to Tokyo Disneyland.
Marsh was there.
The only thing you got, cutie, was a fucking sticker that they gave you when you got on your first ride.
I thought she's rich.
She can buy all these things.
This is something she cannot buy.
I can't go to that.
Exactly.
You cannot buy that.
Well, we're going to talk about that later because cutie's going to go for Taylor Swift.
Okay, Marsh, when he got this sticker for free, did he say, oh, I'm going to give this to Cutie?
Yeah.
Oh, that was thoughtful.
That's like, I'm going to give this cute.
Oh my God.
The bar is so low for you.
That was enough for you.
I thought about me.
I thought about her.
I thought about her.
See, I didn't go to some stupid souvenir shop.
Okay.
I wanted to give Cutie, who our friend Cutie, our co-host Cutie.
Did you just say I went to Disney?
I didn't go to some stupid souvenir shop.
You damn radicat.
The whole place is a souvenir shop.
That is true.
No, I was having an experience with my gift.
This sticker rode a ride with me.
Oh, fun.
Your product sat on a shelf depressed in a bag.
I don't know why you're trying to sell this.
You gave her a shitty sticker.
This is not.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like the sticker itself.
Okay.
Give me the sticker for a second.
This is going to age.
The sticker itself.
Even the sticker itself basically betrays the enthusiasm by being, wow, yeah.
First ride.
Like you weren't there, so you don't know how cool that was.
It's just like, wow.
That's how you feel after the ride, but you don't know that because you weren't there.
Well, Marsh said it was disappointing.
Okay, so Cutie has a lot of issues, as we all know.
And unfortunately, unfortunately, one of those issues is that she can't fly.
So she can't experience.
You got me Kolanopin.
The wonderful.
I did.
Medical grade colonopin.
No.
I wanted to give Cutie something from every single day, just like she was there with us.
Because we were technically, you know, sharing our locations in the group chat.
We were talking in the group chat for the most part.
I was hysterically sending.
Are you present in the group chat?
No.
I was hysterically sending text messages.
I was the most organized I've ever been in my entire life.
And I feel like people need to pay attention and notice and give me props for that.
I was literally sending addresses of where we're going to go with exact timeframes.
I was very impressed.
Yeah.
It didn't stop you from still being like, where are we going?
Well, I was like, or literally saying, why didn't you tell me where we're going?
You know what?
It was finally great to be the one that wasn't in charge.
Let's get your gifts.
Okay.
Let's get your gifts.
I have a couple things.
Number one, this was an incredibly formative experience.
Oh, my God.
This is one of the most incredible things that you basically missed out on, which was the Otter Cafe that we went to.
Si Otter.
They probably euthanized those otters eventually.
God damn it.
Sorry.
I'm friends with Maya and it's really good.
Okay, I'm taking this back.
No, I'm not.
You're not getting it.
No, you don't get a Si Otter.
That's actually one of them.
They stuffed it.
No, Oh, no.
No.
Oh, you don't want it.
It's not my fault they do that.
Oh, you don't want.
They keep them alive forever because people like older people.
No, no, you're not being authentic.
What do you mean?
They probably kill them.
They don't kill them.
They don't kill them.
There's no way.
Why would they do that?
Do you want the otter or not?
I want it so bad.
What, buddy?
Look at this butt.
Okay.
Okay, cutie.
Their hands are the cute.
They put their hands out and they get it.
Yeah.
And you can't really tell from the recreation there, but like they have very like they have like very human hands with like webs in between, but it's like very like they're so cute.
It's the best.
It's the absolute best experience of all time.
I don't know how else to describe it.
This is something that you kind of missed out on, but you don't really have to.
You can go and hang out with Maya and she can give you the otter experience of your life.
Unlike Disney Turkish Disney, which you can't experience ever.
Look at his hands.
You're welcome.
Look at his hands.
What did they give him?
Little treats.
It's the most insane.
That's so cute.
It's the most insane experience.
Oh, do they have enough room to play and stuff?
Yes.
Oh.
Samurai Academy Stickers00:04:31
Okay.
Marsh said no.
I got you.
That's so depressing.
Also, B-side is a very famous sticker place.
Very famous.
I got you both a cute.
I got you both a, well, stickers and then a lot more.
Yeah, I just was excited.
Someone else coming in and sticking.
They don't say, wow, yeah.
Yeah, but this was an experience.
They sat on the shelf.
This is one of my favorite stickers of all time.
Austin is saying that any product that sat on a shelf is unacceptable.
Austin, where did they store this?
No, in the pockets of the magical pockets.
Before it was in their magical pockets, where do you think it sits?
I like it.
My stickers.
I like the emotion that Austin has to wear this outfit every stream.
I like that my stickers stayed in shelves.
Austin stickers, not on shelves.
So B-side is a very famous sticker place.
It's like, you know, universally acclaimed.
Okay.
These are local limited edition stickers.
This is one of my favorite.
I have literally won for many, many years of this man, this naked kind of fat guy on my laptop.
I love this guy.
I wanted to share this with you.
This one is him eating ice cream with his two Shiba Inus.
I also got you a Mona Lisa key ring.
Oh, dreams on it.
Oh, wow.
Cool.
That's funny.
I didn't even think about that.
Wow.
Wow, that's pretty weird.
Wow, this is a lot of stuff.
I also, whoa, there's more.
There's more.
I also got you a Mickey Mouse pen.
I was not at Disneyland.
I was not at Tokyo Disneyland.
But of course, I wanted to still get something from Japan that said Disney.
Wow.
Look, look.
Wait, I'm sorry.
It was just on a shelf.
Where did you get that?
In the airport?
No.
They didn't even have the rights to that.
I have my way.
Now you just, congratulations, you just invited a lawsuit because that's not even.
But he's dancing.
Look, that's not even Mickey.
Look at him.
It's not even Mickey.
It says Mickey Mouse on it.
Mickey's not even on this.
You don't want to be implied in this lawsuit.
I'm so sorry.
Don't take that.
Austin.
You don't want to be in that lawsuit.
Austin.
No, he broke it.
No, he didn't.
He doesn't dance anymore.
You know what?
I was just testing it.
It was a Disney product.
It didn't break.
Good quality.
And last but not least.
Last but not least, this is the crane game victory that I had over Billy Ichiban.
I won this.
The amount of money we spent on the amount of money we spent on this on top of all of the other crane games that we played was unimaginable.
I don't want to talk about it, but I wanted to give this to you.
Relax time is very fun.
Marsh can tell you, once I won my Reactheim figure, every day I would send him a picture of my waifu in different places around my apartment because she would greet me with coffee.
Relaxitime.
Oh my god.
Relaxer time.
Yeah.
It's you as an anime figure.
Okay.
Me as an anime figure.
I'm just trying to make it work, man.
I guess that works.
So there you go.
I wanted to.
Oh, wait, hold on.
There's one more.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, Japanese experience.
I told you guys.
Well, I wanted you to have a taste of every day and all of the things that we enjoyed.
This is an origami Ninja Star.
Yeah.
This was given to us.
No.
This was, I do not know how to make this.
This was given to us by the Kendo Masters, the Samurai Master himself on our last day at the Samurai Academy.
I didn't know you guys went to the Samurai Academy.
We did.
We did go to the Samurai Academy.
Austin also wrestled this.
We got it at.
Austin almost didn't.
I mean, the fucks.
Austin almost did not come to the Samurai Academy.
He also did not receive one of these because he left early.
Yeah, because he left.
Origami Ninja Star Gift00:02:49
He had a flight to catch.
But he still participated in it.
But I wanted to give this to you as well.
Wow.
And that's it.
Here you go.
Oh.
Oh, were you guys scared of hitting your faces?
It's not.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
We were teaching real swords.
But we were trained.
That's real cut.
That's Will's Blood.
The amount of dedication he put into that was crazy.
Did you say that right?
Yes.
Wow.
Wait, you're not showing this on.
Okay.
So cutie.
Question remains.
Are you going to let us buy you box seats to Taylor Swift Japan?
A Taylor Swift experience unlike any other.
Tayru Swiftu.
Tayu Swiftu.
Tehru Swiftu.
Where the tickets are significant.
Oh my God, her leg comes off.
No.
Well, you can put it in.
You got to put it out.
Are you going to join us?
Because the flight is easy.
Austin can tell you.
He's an expert.
Yep.
The flight was so cutie.
Let me tell you, when I fly a lot, that was one of the easiest flights I've ever taken.
Because you fly up high.
So there's almost no turbulence.
Yep.
Was it the Dreamliner?
It was the A330neo, which is comparable.
Yeah, he flew on the Dreamliner.
It was, the journey was.
You know, the Dreamliner is the first plane that they use carbon fiber on?
Yeah, and it turns out there's been no fatal accidents.
Also, the Ocean Gate was made out of carbon fiber.
Yeah, that was actually older.
No, no, no.
What's about the sub?
Yeah.
Yeah, the Ocean Gate.
We're not going to see the Titanic.
Wait, Cutie, please tell me that the submarine thing did not increase your fear.
No, no, no, no.
I have a great counter.
The Ocean Gate submarine, the Ocean Gate submarine actually used carbon fiber from Boeing.
Okay.
They bought it from Boeing.
Hold on.
Listen.
The carbon fiber that Boeing sold OceanGate was actually sold at cheaper prices and was not being used by Boeing because it was past its actual best use date.
That's how serious Boeing is about its product safety.
That they did not give it to someone else.
Because they didn't think that they were going to use it on a fucking submarine that was going to go down into an environment that is significantly more pressurized than a plane.
They think they're going to use it for like arts and crafts.
What do they think?
I mean, I don't know.
You don't ask like who's buying your trash, but my point is this.
The level of safety, the level of safety that these guys put into their product is insane.
Cutie, the trash.
One ounce on me, one ounce, one ounce, tiny, maybe what's like a gram millimeter.
Murat Makeup Breakfast00:15:31
I was hoping your guys' plane would crash so I could say, told you so.
What?
We'd be dead.
That's the most insane thing I've ever heard.
Can I tell you something, though?
Can I tell you something honestly that I haven't told you, Hassan?
I was tracking your flight while I was flying.
We were blynover at the same time.
And at a certain point, your plane disappeared from my radar.
And I was like, oh, my God.
We lost him.
And it was like the app was doing something I'd never seen before.
And it was like not even registering as a flight that was in progress.
Austin will always track my flights and tell me of that.
And I was like, oh, my God.
And I was like thinking, I was like thinking through it.
I was like, what are we going to do when I land in Japan?
They're freaks.
I was thinking this.
I was like, what are we going to do when I land in Japan and have to do a very dramatic emotional press conference?
They were both.
They were both hoping that we died on our plane.
So she could say, I told you so.
And so that he could give an emotional press conference.
Yeah, because then all these bitches would feel bad for him and then he'd get so much dig.
No, I don't need people to feel bad for me to get digged.
Oh.
Damn.
But you're going to put your hood back.
But anyway, I was thinking, oh my God, I'm going to have to do a speech.
I'm going to have to do a camp vigil.
Because Hassan dies, you're the one giving the speech.
I would definitely be a part of this.
I'd be giving a speech.
If any of you guys died, I would give a speech.
I'd be talking very candidly.
All right, give us a little taste.
Does any of us want that?
Hold on.
Okay.
Give us a little taste.
Of whose.
I'm dead.
I'm on the plane back from Tokyo.
I died.
And I'm like, told you so.
Okay.
I definitely don't want cutie giving a speech now.
I go up there.
I'm like, I told these people.
This would start a speech with Hassan Piker.
Oh, God.
It's hard because you're not actually dead, so it's hard to get the emotion over.
He'd be crying.
I'd say, one of my best friends would have been in my wedding party.
One of the hardest working people I know.
One of the hardest working people I know.
And I am so upset.
I'm going to need a moment.
But when I collect my thoughts, I'll come back with a more thorough speech.
Is the press conference over?
Wow.
That was.
Cutie, why don't you give me?
And then he looks at the camera and fixes his hair.
Well, look, I had a hoodie on, okay?
It's hard to.
Cutie, why don't you give him a quick statement as if I died?
Will Neff has died.
And I stand up and I announce it like the queen is dead.
And I say, Will Neff is dead.
That's what you'd say?
I mean, it's better than Austin.
I'd say, told him so, and then I dab.
Okay, no longer is it better than Austin.
Dab!
Yeah.
All right.
But unironically.
It's no longer better than Austin's.
All right.
What about when Cutie dies?
No, I'm not dying.
No, we can't do this.
She's going to freak out.
Okay.
Yeah.
What about when Austin dies?
No, don't you fucking dare.
Idiot.
Bitch.
Jesus Christ.
So cutie.
Wow.
The question remains.
Are you going to come to Japan for the Taylor Swift show that we will buy you a box for?
And I want to reiterate, if you say yes right now, we paying for Taylor Swift will more specifically become Austin Show paying for Taylor Swift because he will lose a bet, a $10,000 bet that will go towards...
No, but she's actually got to get on the plane.
Well, I think a commitment is enough.
No, it's not.
She has to book the ticket.
She's got to get on the plane.
Will, this is everything you wanted.
If she commits to this, I have to get an apartment or I lose $10,000.
Seriously, think about that.
Think about that.
It's a win-win.
That means that if she no, Will, you're gonna lose 10 grand if she commits because I'm gonna go to an apartment.
No, you're not.
No, think about it.
Absolutely.
Okay, think about this.
Before February, before she steps foot on that plane, okay, no, no, I don't believe it.
Hear me out.
You getting her to commit to this Taylor Swift concert in Japan, she will win me the bet because I'll get an apartment before she gets on the plane.
I'll sign the lease and then I'll get 10 grand.
Are you kidding me?
Look at this.
Come on, get on the plane.
Commit.
Go on to Taylor Swift in February.
Let's do it.
Yes.
Let's do it.
She's getting on a plane.
Okay.
And I'm going to get $10,000 because I'm going to sign a lease before February.
Austin, you live in delusion.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't think you.
Oh my God.
What?
What?
You fucked up my hair.
Put the hood back on.
We're at a shoot this week.
We're at a shoot this week, and I'm getting hair and makeup done.
And Austin comes into the hair and makeup lady.
And he's like, will you stop on her?
I just need some spray in my hair.
I did not say it like that.
She is, she is, she is, she is exaggerating what actually happened.
Austin also does this thing whenever he's in hair and makeup that makes me cackle, where he evaluates the products of the hair and makeup people.
Yeah, I don't think that's an unreasonable ask, right?
Cutie, you would ask.
What did I say?
You go, you don't use cheap shit, do you?
I did not say it like that.
No, that's verbatim.
No, but it was in a nice way.
I did not say it like that.
I did not tell the makeup lady, you don't use cheap shit.
How can you say that in a nice way?
Can you elaborate?
I said, you use good quality products, right?
Okay, can I read you the text?
What was the expectation?
Hold on.
Hold on.
She was going to say, no, I use that cheap shit.
Before people question if people don't like working with me, this is from my makeup lady that I had on the show.
This is like when Andrew Tate said, she said, Ola, it was super great working with you.
You're awesome to work with and super talented.
I laughed so hard is what she said.
She did say that.
She did say that on set, too.
And keep having fun with Twinks.
You deserve it.
That's also true, State.
She did say this.
This is hopefully to see you soon and work together very soon.
So I just want to let you know that despite some of the things that I could say or allegedly could say about makeup, they still like me.
I still like it.
Listen, I didn't say anything about your demeanor on set.
I just said that you, with every makeup artist, will ask what products.
Now, chat, chat, comments, I think that's a very reasonable thing to ask.
But let me go back to the slander that Cutie said.
Slander.
She was getting makeup done in the middle of a five-hour routine.
Okay.
It was taking a long time.
It took an hour.
It's like so normal.
Okay.
But I asked kindly, I said, excuse me, miss.
Normal for hair and makeup for girls, you sexist pig.
Yeah, sexist pig.
You just didn't know that, did you?
No, I take his side.
He came up like Oliver Twist.
Yes, I said, excuse me, miss.
Excuse me.
I said, excuse me, miss.
Please, would you so kindly pause in your routine with your beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous, gorgeous talent, Cutie Cinderella, and please, just for a brief moment, please touch up my hair.
And you know that's how it went.
You know that's how it went.
You know what?
You've been bullied a lot today.
So yes, that's how it went.
We're done reading Austin.
Austin was a good sport in Japan.
It's just good content to put him in an outfit that looks like he has a penis on his forehead.
It's okay.
Wouldn't be the first time.
Well, Prime Month is over.
That's true.
It's bullying.
Pack it up.
It's okay.
Pack it up.
The mic punches him in the face.
I was pushed to my limits in Japan.
Now I'm back in the United States.
I'm fully ready to go.
The nicest countries on the planet.
And ready.
Having a decadent experience.
Like, having a decadent experience that he was too sleepy to come to after Disneyland.
Like literally private, impossible to find, members only sake bar.
Well, thank you all for these presents.
What was all your favorite, your what was your favorite thing and your least favorite thing?
Ooh.
Favorite thing and least favorite thing.
Yeah.
I'll go first.
Sure.
My least favorite thing was going to Japan.
Was the date.
Yeah, that's fair.
That was so hard.
I would check in every once in a while and watch the streams.
That stream was hard to watch.
Wait, really?
Yes.
People loved it.
Because you guys would be having fun and then panda him.
My most favorite.
Misery.
Yeah.
My most favorite part in Japan.
Sure.
This may shock you.
Was breakfast with Murat.
Why would that be shocking?
I had wonderful breakfasts.
Murat's great.
We were peaceful.
People like him.
Murat told us how much he loved that breakfast also.
Oh, my God.
Really?
The experience.
Murat didn't like it as much as I did.
Murat did not appreciate the moments because he did not feel as though Austin was there for him in the same way that he was there for Austin.
What happened?
I was on my phone a lot.
Okay, I gotta tell them.
I'm gonna retell the story with you.
We're not bullying Austin.
We're not bullying Austin.
It's hard not to buy Austin.
It's so funny.
We're not bullying Austin.
I gave Murat a free breakfast, the fucking ungrateful bastard.
I also did make him switch seats with you so you'd have better light for me.
He didn't know.
But Murat didn't know at first.
Murat would walk from our house to Austin's hotel every morning because he loves his little routine.
And he is like, he is very similar to Austin in many ways.
He's a creature comfort.
So he would walk to the hotel.
They would get together.
They would go up and Murat was always early to the dining experience in Austin's hotel that Austin is staying at.
Early.
Earlier than Austin.
He was on time.
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
I meant he was always on time.
And Austin, of course, was not.
No, one time I was late.
I was early.
I was on time the rest of the time.
Okay.
So Murat was.
It's in your building.
It's in your building.
And Murat was like, oh, we're so high up in Tokyo.
There's a beautiful, you know, there's a beautiful image.
You know, I want to look out the window while I enjoy my breakfast.
So he would sit facing the window.
And the first day, Austin came late.
And he said, Murat, get up.
I got to sit there.
And Murat was like, damn, I guess he just like really loves.
This is Murat telling me the story.
I guess he just really loves looking at Tokyo.
Like, that's crazy.
Sure, weird, but okay.
Second day, Austin does the same thing.
Third day, they get to breakfast.
Austin's late again.
He's sitting there.
And Murat is very blunt, right?
So Austin tells him, oh, you got to get up.
I want to sit there.
And Murat goes, no.
Yeah.
I don't know how stubborn he was, but I assume he was blunt with you.
He was like, no.
I'm not going to do that.
He was not having it.
He was like, I'm not going to do that.
I would like to, for once, look outside the window.
So Murat told me, that's when he realized why Austin was trying to sit facing the window this entire time.
This entire time.
Why, you might ask?
Because he was taking photos for Snapchat the entire time.
So he needed the light to be facing him in the face.
Every Snapchat user knows that you must have proper lighting when you're taking selfies on Snapchat.
But it doesn't end.
I just asked Murat for the photo because there is a photo with his back to Murat like this.
It doesn't end there.
Oh, he sent it.
He sent it.
He sent it.
All right, we're gonna, we're gonna post this, but it's crazy, because this was Austin's favorite thing.
Send it to Discord.
Send it to Discord.
Send it to Discord so we can pull it up.
Send, I know, I know, I've seen it.
Send it to Discord so we can pull it up.
Hold on, oh god cutie cutie look, you know what.
I just don't know how to take your side sometimes.
There's, there's two photos.
It's so funny, cutie.
Look, he told me he stood in that position the entire meal.
No, there's another, there's another, there's a home.
Briefly, i'm gonna send it to you all.
There was also another thing.
He, apparently you.
You have a very specific order.
Okay okay, by the way, I like, I like your order, I like your order.
For the record, it was eggs benedict.
Okay, it was.
I changed bacon for ham and then I added slices of tomatoes in between the two.
Yeah, and he would ask for no hollandaise sauce right no, I would ask for holiday sauce.
Oh, I thought I changed that part so, but did you change basketball?
Okay, did you change the, the the bottom?
No, as well he, he made that up.
Oh, he made that.
Parts tomatoes to there me I, I like the bacon.
Uh, substitute for ham.
Yep, I mean it's.
It's an entirely different order by the end of it.
All right, I sent it, they did.
Look, you guys just don't know.
Look, look here cutie, I just you guys don't so incriminating with the tomatoes, the best part is, wait, why is there a top bun?
No, that's the egg.
I think that's the egg.
Yeah, is it?
Yeah, it's the egg.
I think Murat probably thought that was a bun on top.
Yeah look, you know what.
Go back to that.
That was his favorite.
That was your favorite part.
Yeah, he took a lot of great photos.
The lighting was fantastic.
Yeah, that's why he did it to me.
That's why it was, come on you're you're, you're a girl cutie.
What's the?
What's the Eta on our coffee?
Oh, it's probably here.
Actually, the lighting was fantastic.
Girl mean oh, like you, i'm grabbing it.
Look, that's what i'm saying.
The Eta was good.
You don't want to defend me okay, I mean look, I thought it was.
I thought it was a great photo, it was very it was, it was indefensible.
I thought it was a great photo and no, this is something i'm sharing.
Oh oh oh oh okay, I thought you were.
Oh wait, another photo of me.
No no no, this time this is wait.
Is it us?
No, it's Murat and I.
Oh, that's so sick.
So look, I mean look I uh, you know what I told her to do us.
I'm a little upset.
I, I gave her a lot of grief.
Kanini, who is a Japanese hentai artist and live streamer uh, who we met in Japan uh we, we made a request of her on karaoke night, Will and I did well was a little intoxicated when he made this request, but I thought it was a brilliant request will ask Kanini to draw myself and him as big titty anime girls.
Oh, very hentai, but still a little reserved not not, not the whole way, not the full monty no, or Aeroles right tasteful tasteful, nude softcore.
Kanini Then proceeded to draw me as a big titty anime girl alongside Jake.
And I was very upset because I thought that this was a betrayal.
Marsha's on my Twitter, by the way.
Turns out the betrayal came much later.
I told Kanini, this is unacceptable.
Please draw me and Biri Ichiban as big titty anime girls.
Turns out she did draw Will as a Big Titty anime girl, just not alongside myself.
She drew Will as a Big Titty anime girl.
Yes.
Alongside Murat as a Big Titty anime girl.
What the fuck?
Anime Girl Betrayal00:11:34
I mean, I love the 6ix9ine socks.
Also, check out that package.
I was going to say, what is that blue thing going on?
Oh, you know what that blue thing is.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, wait.
Thank you, ma'am.
Can I get a straw?
You didn't order with me.
No, those are both mine.
Oh, okay.
I thought that I was.
I ordered two cold brews.
I ordered coffee for Will.
But you can have one if you want.
No, it's okay.
I don't need it.
So that was your best and worst part of Japan.
Yes, best and worst apart of Japanese.
What's your worst?
Shouts out to.
My worst was the date.
The date.
My best was breakfast with Murat, which clearly wasn't reciprocated.
Yeah, how bad.
Yeah, it's really his fault.
I wonder what your date thought.
Did he have a good...
Oh, there's a picture of that on my Twitter, too.
Oh, God.
Pull up the expression.
Yeah, you want to know what his date taught?
That was not to me, though.
That was the...
That was that, though.
That was the date's reaction to the boy love.
Yeah.
It wasn't.
He was cringing at the boy love.
Not me.
I was to his left.
Is your date not actually gay?
No, my date was, I don't know.
Which is why I was like, also, it was weird because I wasn't sure.
But I mean, I.
Yeah.
Anyway, before I give my best and worst, shouts out to Kanini.
She's awesome.
Go follow her Twitter.
She's awesome.
I will refuse to say she's awesome until I get a Big Titty Anime Girl version alongside Wilnef as a Big Titty Anime Girl.
Yeah, she did make you a Big Titty Anime Girl with Jake Jake.
Which is great.
Funny combo.
Which is great.
I love Jake, but the request was clear.
Damn.
Best and worst moment in.
I'm kidding.
Kanini's great.
Japan.
Okay.
Best moment.
I think the entire day that I went and wandered by myself and then met up with all you guys and went out to nightlife was incredible.
That day was just peak.
It was 24 hours of perfection.
I spent the morning just getting lost in Japan and I was just open to whatever.
And I found myself at a street fair and a natural history museum and a zoo and a contemporary art museum.
And I just allowed myself to kind of be lost, not look at my phone and be present.
And it was wonderful.
And then that night, we went to a private sake bar and got absolutely wrecked.
Then we hung out with Rhyme and Sunichio Sawa.
And it was just, I was looking around and I saw these faces of friends that I had met in Japan and friends that had come from home.
And it felt like a perfect moment.
But one thing was missing, right?
Nope.
It was a perfect moment.
No, it was perfect.
There was no, it was like, there were no curmudgeons.
You know what I mean?
No, no, no.
It would have been nice to have you there.
I actually regret it now.
It would have been nice now.
I regret it.
It was a perfect day.
After what you described.
And then my least favorite moment of Japan came by way of the United States, actually, where I was going through immigration after I had completed this trip.
Austin, please.
I'm trying to fuck you.
For the love of God.
Settle the mic.
Audio listeners, you cannot get the mic to sit still.
Came by the way of immigration.
So I'm going through immigration.
And as I'm going through, there's a group of flight attendants and they're all together.
And one is behind them.
And she's coming up and she's like, hey, hello.
My bag took a little bit longer.
Do you mind if I meet up with them?
That's my crew.
And I was like, no, for sure.
Go ahead.
Cut me.
It's like three steps in front of me.
And as she goes, thank you so much.
And as she's making her way through the line, an American police officer goes, Hey, what the fuck are you thinking?
Why do you think you can fucking do that?
Get in the back of the line.
And she's like, I'm sorry.
I'm just like, you can't fucking do that.
And I just had this epiphany that I don't want to be in this country anymore.
I love that.
I had been back here for 10 seconds.
What the fuck are you doing?
And I just saw this man screaming.
That's so normal for your first trip back from home.
She's politely getting in line with her friends for no other reason than he has a small penis.
And I went, wow, this place is really terrible.
And that's when I started my, I'm trying to become an expat now and move to the to Japan.
Okay.
Wow, that'd be cool.
No, I'm working.
What do you do?
How do you do that?
Need to be rich, buy a house.
Oh, I'm working.
Well, old Daddy Warbucks over here is going to help the process.
Are you going to buy a house?
I think we're officially done in the United States.
I would, I'm not going to move.
So Japan has a 90-day tourist visa that I plan on abusing for future endeavors.
I mean, we'll see.
I could see myself definitely getting like extended travel arrangements to Japan so I could just like make content and like kind of stay out there for certain periods of time.
I'm done.
And then Will could just live there all year and then you could go for your 90 days.
The problem is we don't speak Japanese.
We got to learn how to speak Japanese.
My Japanese was getting better.
I was on Duolinguo every day.
Yeah, once you learn, once you're there, you'd learn dude.
One time.
I didn't know how to say I feel like.
Okay, tell me if this is racist.
You don't know how to say goodbye?
No, so I can't.
Don't worry.
Japan is very racist.
Sayonara?
Sayonara.
Wait, Sayonara is.
Goodbye.
Have you been saying Sayonara to like random people when you meet them?
I used to always say Sayonara, but I had no idea that was Japanese.
That was the talent.
No fucking way.
He's just saying it's a doctor.
I thought Sayonara was like some sort of like one of the part of a love language of some sort.
You had it.
Hasta la vista, sayonara.
Like that's what I thought.
It was the same.
You had it the whole time.
Wow.
You also, you can also say matane.
Sayonara.
Matone.
I was on the phone with Ludwig when he was in Japan and he had me on speaker and he was talking to me.
And he, the guy said something to him in Japanese and he said his little like thing back.
Believe that.
I'm sorry.
I just learned.
You realize I'm almost, I'm 28 years old.
And I tried to repeat what he said.
I said, like, say something.
Mizukura sai.
Mizuko Kora sai.
And that's what I say.
I repeat it back, but Lud has me on speaker and he gets out of the cab and he was like, that was so offensive.
And I was like, what?
I think he was probably fucking with you.
Okay.
Yeah, no, they've thought about that ever since.
And I, because I'm a bit of a parrot.
You say something and I go, I found myself picking up Japanese quickly because there's like 10 phrases that they use in almost every interaction, right?
Sorry.
Thank you so much.
Excuse me.
You could learn it easily.
You specifically, I couldn't.
And if you master those like 10 phrases and then like know, Is like where the fuck is you are kind of good, yeah, really?
Yeah, like there was a moment where uh we were going to Gurdubaru, which is at the edition hotel, which was actually is this your favorite moment in Japan?
No, it was not.
It was, it was actually so cool because thanks for the invite, by the way.
Uh, we did we did invite you, you did not show up, and then you complained about you know what, not a little follow-through would have been nice.
We did follow through, will follow through with you.
Yeah, that's right, Will did, but Hassan didn't.
I'm losing my mind.
He looked at me, but I wasn't.
I even told Will this.
I said, it would have been nice to hear from Hassan.
Oh, no, Austin, Kenny, you got to back me up on this one.
Yeah, Hassan, you never invite us directly.
Yeah, which I, but I did.
Oh, I did in person.
And he said he was, he confirmed it.
He was coming just a little bit later.
He needs reassurance.
Yes, I needed some reassurance to say that.
Will gave the reassurance.
We're the same group.
We're in the group together.
And Will with the follow-up.
He just asked for me to be on his team.
Thank you.
Why are you doing this?
I needed reassurance.
You're in the socket.
We've bullied him enough.
You're siding with injustice.
Anyway, and I said, anyway, we're looking for the edition hotel entrance, and I see a security guard.
And I walk up to him and I said, he hit him with some real stuff.
Yeah, I said, Sumi Masen, Gurdubaru Dokudisuka.
And he literally went, oh, this guy knows Japanese.
He just went on, and this is fact.
The guard thought he was a native Japanese speaker.
And after he thought I could speak fluent Japanese, Hassan went, Sumimasen, Gulbar Dokutesuka.
The guy went, ah, hi, and went on like a five-minute all-Japanese instruction.
And both of us were sitting there going, oh, fuck.
No, but I at that moment I wanted to keep up the mirage for a little bit.
So I'm not going, ah, which is like, hi, ah, ah, hi, hi.
And, and then at the end, let me explain this.
There is a palpable silence because Hassan trying to compute.
Hassan doesn't want to no longer be perceived as a native speaker, but he didn't understand anything the guy said, nor did I.
So we're both sitting there in silence, and he goes, Tokotuka elevator.
And the guy, and the guy realizes, and he's like, ah.
It was a very cool three and a half minutes as he described his life story.
Did he switch to English after that?
No.
No, he didn't speak English at all, but he like dialed it way back to like, let me deal with this guy.
That's funny.
Well, that's a nice compliment for the first 10 seconds.
It was awesome.
It was sick.
It was very cool.
I rode that high for the rest of the night.
Until some guy came up to me and told me he was a Nazi.
And then I was like, oh my God.
A lot of the white people that go.
No, he was white.
A lot of the white people that go to Japan are very fucking weird.
No, literally.
I feel like, Will, you could be like, you could be like a Jake and Bake.
Like, you could be like, you would be like.
I thought you were about to say, Will, you could be a Nazi.
The way that she started talking about that right after the Nazi thing was a little sad.
No, no, no, no, because I was just thinking of like him going to Japan and stuff.
But I think you could be like a really great travel, like IRL streamer.
I would just want to set up a really cool, like, super HD camera rig and have it like strapped to my chest and say nothing.
Just kind of float through a country.
Yeah, but the thing that you're so good at is your personality.
Well, maybe I would just express my god damn it, Marsh.
March is playing with my gun and dropping it.
Someone's got to play with a gun every episode.
Chambers felled out.
So, okay, can we say something while Austin's gone?
How fucking funny is that goddamn blobfish?
Oh, I love that.
I love it.
Oh, that's why it fell out.
Flying on ANA Delta00:03:45
Anyway.
The otter is very cute.
This is a cute otter.
Did you get yourself an otter?
No, we only got one for you.
Wow.
I feel like it's sad because he loved the otter so much.
What?
Are you going to be sad?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
The memory.
The memory of the otter will live with me.
Oh, they love little seashells.
They love shiny things.
They love shiny things.
They love little seashells.
Yeah, you can hold it.
Kitty Cinderella getting cute aggression.
I felt that.
Dude, oh my God.
With the otters, I wanted to do that.
They have little hands and they grab you.
Yeah.
You saw them?
Yeah, they climbed on me.
Okay, now for my favorite, least favorite moments in Japan.
First and foremost, the experience that you had in America coming back from Japan is identical to the experience Marge and I had the first time we went to Japan and then came back to America.
The Hunter airport is like super clean, super fast.
Incredible.
We get in and out in like 30 seconds, you know what I mean?
And then we come back to LAX and immediately they're like, oh, we don't know where your bags are.
And we're like, what?
And then some lady on the plane was like, oh, my bag is an air tag.
It's still on the runway.
So then there's like a, there's like a little bit of a panic because like bags are supposed to be coming out of the conveyor belt and they are, of course, super uncoordinated.
And then they we waited for two hours for our bags in the airport just straight up after the 12 hour flight.
Not the airport.
Are you defending LAX right now?
He can get you a refund for that.
No, no, but that is on the airline.
And what airline were you flying?
It was Delta.
You know what?
I fucking despise United.
I don't ever want to fly with them ever again.
And I do not like Delta either.
I do not like either of these airlines.
Look, U.S. airlines, it's just tough sometimes.
But you know what?
ANA was fire.
Yeah, we had an issue even in Hana.
Did you get the room or was it, did you do the room on ANA or was it just the normal pod?
But it was the food and service is really incredible.
Every two seconds.
And they have a round-the-clock menu.
So I was just ordering ramen and sandwiches whenever I wanted to.
We did not have that on United.
United was like, here is absolute dog shit.
They flew United.
I told him to fly Delta.
He made a mistake.
I should have flown ANA.
I made the real mistake there.
You told me not to fly ANA.
Why?
Because he wants points.
I can't.
How many times do I have to tell you guys?
I can't get your points if you're flying.
I can't get your points.
He wants the equity, though.
He wants points.
He wants to.
I do want points.
If I go to Japan, I should fly on ANA.
No, you should fit this way.
Yes.
You want to be safe?
Fly with me.
Why don't you fly with us on ANA and we get wrong?
Is it happening?
It's already happening.
You can order.
QD, you can order as many bowls of ramen as you want.
Don't you think it'd be so unlucky if we have to separate?
We can't all be on the same plane.
It'll definitely go down.
Kitty, you and I will fly together on ANA.
This is the OCD.
I'm telling you, listen, as someone who's afraid of flying, there was no turbulence for the entirety of the flight.
In fact, on the way back.
How long was it?
On the way there?
Eight hours.
No way.
Nothing.
He giggled.
It was a little bit longer than eight hours, but there's no turbulence.
On the way there, eight hours.
For me, it was eight hours.
No turbulence.
And on the way back, you know what they told me?
They said this one's going to be a little bumpy, and it was not.
At all.
Full movie setup.
They bring you food whenever you want.
Desserts.
They brought me an ice cream bar anytime I wanted it.
I had two.
God.
They have a lay-flat bed with a tatami mat, so you just put it down.
You can sleep whenever.
They give you eyeshades and a little cosmetic bag.
So much is that I hit myself with a little Misu Mist.
Patreon Personal Grievances00:02:33
Like 10 grand.
I'll tell you what.
No.
Cutie.
Cutie.
No, for you.
Free.
Because I will give you every cent of my winnings as long as you buy your ticket now.
No, no, no.
Not now.
Not ready yet.
We got to wait until we get Taylor Swift tickets.
Otherwise, what's the point of going?
Japan.
Well, no, she doesn't care.
She just wants Taylor Swift in Japan.
That's what I said.
We established that already.
I'm going to Taylor Swift in two weeks.
So wait, that's the bet is if she buys the airfare?
No, I have to get on the flip.
I mean, if she buys, I'm not committed.
I thought that was a good idea.
No, I'm not.
No, you have to get on the plane.
I'm going to hold off on my best and worst experiences because it's going to get a little spicy and we're going to elaborate further.
Oh my God, we're there already.
On the paid proportion.
Yeah.
This one whistled a lot.
Oh, I'm sad you didn't get it on the normal.
It's okay.
It's because you're bullying Austin too much.
Yeah, it's patreon.com slash fear.
And we are now at, what, 17,000 subscribers?
Yeah.
17,000 paid subscribers.
We're getting TikTok time on there now.
Every time Taylor.
Cutie Cinderella has TikTok time on there for all members as well.
I have a Japan playlist that I have yet to send over, but you'll get it with this episode.
And I'm going to be doing something cool.
Just wait.
What are you doing?
Dudes.
I'll be...
You know what?
I should announce it now.
DM me guys on Instagram, your customer service grievances, and I'll be making personal on the Patreon.
You're going to regret that you just said that.
Why?
You're going to get so many DMs.
But guys, they need to be good ones.
Look, one thing about being like what I call a white hat Karen is you have to, you can't be, there's certain situations where you fucked up and you have to take responsibility for it.
And I will not be defending you in that situation.
I mean, it's worth you just reading them for 10 minutes and like kind of like an advice segment, but instead it's saying, yeah, you can't do it.
Okay, there, I'll amend it.
I will read these grievances.
I will explain what I think should happen.
And sometimes I will give a personal phone call.
I love that.
There you go.
That's it.
That's what I'll do.
And that'll be on the Patreon coming up soon, nearly in your future.
Patreon.
But thank you guys for making this all happen because of you.
All right, everybody, hoods on for the.
Because of you, we are able to have these experiences and also share them with you.
And we'll be addressing...
We'll be addressing more of our grievances in the paid proportion behind the paywalls at patreon.com slash fear.