HasanAbi, QTCinderella, and AustinShow dissect Nick Mercks' Pride Month controversy, debating whether school acknowledgments constitute indoctrination while mocking Tim TheTapeMan's removal of Call of Duty skins. They pivot to electric vehicle inefficiencies versus V8 engines, explicit sexual topics including pegging and "bottoms rights," and queer-baiting in media like True Blood. Amidst jokes about Elon Musk's Twitter toxicity and illegal voting, the hosts conclude that West Hollywood remains the ultimate gay enclave, challenging narratives of forced indoctrination while navigating their own identities and online harassment. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Traditionally Attractive Men00:14:30
What are you so small compared to you?
I'm pretty sure.
You hate sitting there?
Tiny baby boy.
Wow.
That's not how I look.
I want to see how I look.
I don't know how I look.
Need to calm down.
Look how masculine we look.
You're being too loud.
This is actually.
I'm definitely bigger, but this is so bad because Austin can see the camera.
Oh, it's perfect.
It's perfect.
I'm going to be like this the whole podcast.
Oh, there's my microphone.
This is even a different.
That's a different mic.
It's a different mic.
That's a different mic.
It's the same one.
See?
Don't lie to him.
Yo, everybody.
Welcome to another episode of Fear Anne.
Please do it as Will.
Will has abandoned us for the episode.
It's just the three of us.
Wait, are you giving this to me?
I don't want to do it.
Three of us.
Do you want food?
We actually, so we're ordering food right now, everybody that's watching the podcast.
We're ordering food, and I, Hassan's not paying for it because he hates us and gay people and women.
Yeah.
So he does not want to pay for it.
And I'm ordering it right now, going into debt as we speak.
I won't take demands from a female voice.
Okay.
I don't like gay people and women.
I have revoked my skin from Call of Duty.
Yeah.
In solidarity.
Oh, shit.
In solidarity with my boys.
Okay.
Call of Duty, take my skin out of the fucking game.
I also have revoked my skin in solidarity with Nick Marks.
Oh, yeah.
What kind of skin?
His foreskin.
Yeah.
I've torn off my foreskin.
Do you have foreskin?
No, I never did.
Dude, do you have foreskin?
No, I wish I did.
I'm Muslim.
Show me your cock.
Well, you'll see it at the onsen.
Oh, okay.
I'm not getting.
I refuse to get naked in front of you.
Yeah.
Let's talk about this real quick.
I tried to get out of Japan.
I tried to pull out this week.
This is true.
He did.
I really did.
I'm going through a very stressful time in my life.
Austin never pulls out.
No, I don't.
Famously.
Never got anybody pregnant, though.
Well, that's one of the advantages of being gay.
Wait, are you saying you're very homophobic?
It's very homophobic to say that men can't get pregnant.
No, not or transphobic.
No, it would be transphobic.
You can't.
Why can't men get pregnant?
Also, well, technically, men can get pregnant.
I'm going down a slippery slope.
That's why I said you're just baiting.
It's also, yeah, why are you talking to me about this?
You really forgot for a second who you're talking to.
Yeah, I know.
Like, you're going to know more about this situation.
Yeah, I know.
I was like, oh, shit.
It's like jumping into the deep end and not knowing how to swim.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Sorry, I forgot.
We're not talking about gay issues.
Never again.
I was like, I know we've crossed the border and I was like, oh, shit, I don't know anything about this.
We'll cross that border and say, I'm just a great ally.
You guys are both neurotic as fuck.
I need to know what this rash implies.
I have a rash on my arm.
You're dying.
I mean, cutie and I'll be honest with you.
Hassan, if Cutie and I had a rash like that, we would have been in the doctor already.
I'm not bigger right now.
I've also had this like zit on the side of my cheek for like almost three months from now.
Yeah, go to a dermatologist.
So I think I need to go.
I'm poking at it.
That's why you have the zit.
I need to go to a dermatologist finally.
This guy wonders why he has a zit and he keeps, he keeps, it can't heal.
It's impossible to heal.
You keep digging at it.
That's crazy.
I've had zits my whole life.
They just, you pop them and they go away.
You're talking to a couple of MDs here at the table, and I can tell you we can both confident each other.
Manic depressive stuff.
No.
We can both tell you that you need to see a doctor.
They do like FaceTimes now.
Yeah, I do need to see a dermat.
What are you doing?
You're protesting the American medical system because they don't have socialized medicine?
Is that what you're doing?
Yeah, that's what it is.
No, I'm actually like, I'm very pro, obviously, universal health care, except for gay people.
Yeah.
And like they've had far too, they've had it far too good, right?
Far too long.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, me and Ronald Reagan are on the same page with that.
So did he really not say, he's saying that like gay people shouldn't have medical care?
No, but I was talking about the AIDS.
Oh.
Oh, right.
That thing.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that thing.
Yeah.
That thing that, yeah.
The new era gays are different, folks.
I had this guy I used to work with, an interior designer.
Everyone's gay.
I was the only straight one.
Like, they would straight shame me quite often.
Yeah, as they should.
Yeah, it's the worst.
Can we talk about that?
The worst kind of bigotry is anti-straight bigotry.
The only kind of thing.
I feel fine about it.
I actually know.
Yeah, I should be blinding.
You can see your self-hating straight.
I wish I was gay so bad.
I think being straight is unnatural.
I do.
Well, let me tell you why.
Wait, let me finish.
Really quick.
Wait, let QD finish.
Excuse me.
No.
Excuse me.
Really quick.
No, stop being a massage.
One of my co-workers, he got AIDS, which you would think would be sad, but he threw an AIDS warming party is what he called it.
Oh my God.
And it was so funny.
It was like amazing.
Yeah.
I was the only straight one there.
And I got shamed for not having AIDS again.
That is insane.
It was so funny, though.
AIDS warming party.
Yeah.
He like.
Well, he probably had HIV and it's very treatable now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can choose a rock.
Yeah, that's good.
But he took it like no one I've ever seen.
That is.
It was so funny.
And by the way, for the record, I want to put this out on the podcast.
We don't think AIDS is funny.
No, we do not think AIDS is funny.
It was just funny that he did that.
If there's queer people watching, there's, first of all, use protection.
Yeah.
It may not feel as good.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
What?
There's queer people watching and you're telling them not to use protection.
Use protection and get on something called prep.
Google Prep.
It's 99.9%.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it prevents HIV.
Get on prep and use protection and practice safe sex.
Okay.
And get tested.
Okay, now tell yourself.
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you for that.
That was very good.
Thank you very much.
I mean, it doesn't feel as good.
I mean, come on.
I got to be honest.
What?
I got to be honest.
It does not feel as...
What?
Am I going to lie to you?
Yeah, sex with a condom feels great.
It doesn't feel as good.
I never have sex without a condom.
You are full of shit.
I only have condom sex.
No, you do.
It feels great.
You are hitting it raw consistently.
Okay.
I hated that sentence out of your mouth.
Messed up.
Okay.
So the raw dog champion.
Before we get to me defending homophobia, as is the case always.
Oh, no.
I need you to address a TikTok.
March, can you pull this TikTok up that I was looking at earlier?
It's a whine about a TikTok.
Oh, no.
Okay, good.
It's not me now.
No, just look up Whine About a TikTok on TikTok.
We have too many TikToks.
I can't imagine which one it could be.
Oh, God.
Do you upload every day?
I don't know.
I don't do it.
I also talk so much shit on purpose to bait stuff like this.
So hold on.
No, this was actually not talking shit.
Why do I have a million views?
Actually, people are so drunk by that.
Yeah, the last one.
Do you want an attractive?
Click on that real quick.
Yeah, I just want to say that there's a one who is like competent and feels good about themselves.
I don't want a guy that is hot and like thinks he's ugly.
I do.
Oh.
I don't want a guy that everyone thinks is hot because then I have got all these bitches trying to trying to get at him.
Well, actually, Ludwig is the first guy that I dated that's like traditionally attractive.
You've said this.
The jock.
Okay, I take back the jock thing.
What's that about?
I said because everybody makes fun of me.
Or I keep going on.
I talked about how the sound's traditionally attractive.
See, I'm nice.
Go back again.
Go back.
Let's hear that because Kitty was speaking over it.
You said this.
The jock.
What's this going on?
I think I'm back to jock thing because everybody makes fun of me.
Sorry.
I didn't call you traditionally attractive.
It's like a song.
He's like traditionally attractive.
He's gonna feel bad.
You know?
No, I agree with you.
I don't think Lud is like Hassan.
Okay.
Dude, our podcast is funny.
This is a good podcast over Ludwig.
Okay, I understand.
But I'm saying, like, people look at Hassan and they're like, he's traditionally attractive.
I mean, I do.
Conventionally.
Yes.
Ludwig is traditionally attractive.
Yes.
Lud is the conventionally attractive dude.
Conventionally, that's the word.
All the other people, I think they've been an acquired taste.
And I don't like that.
I like a little quirky guy because I feel better.
Yeah, Lud has a quirky personality.
You're like saying it's so disappointing to me, cutie, that when you think of attractive, you don't think of it.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm so devastated.
Everyone always got to be the first guy.
They say no brains.
Doesn't he have enough funny stuff?
I love that.
Dumbass, dumbass.
Look at him.
They say that.
He's got rosacea.
He's got a zinnis sheet.
Look at him.
Yeah, I got problems.
Look at him.
He's got big problems.
He's a.
Austin, I'm sorry.
He looks like he needs to be triaged.
Look at him.
Yeah, I need to go to a I don't want to say it, but if you were just a little taller, I think people would put you in.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
I'm talking about conventionally attractive.
I am sorry.
I'm okay with that.
I can't do anything about that.
You can't.
I can't do anything about that.
You are.
I can't do anything.
You're very attractive, but when you're like, when people are like conventionally attractive.
Austin is white knuckling in his right hand that is currently conveniently inside of his pants.
Yeah, no, I can't do anything.
Ludwig's a little short, too.
Ludwig is taller than I. He's six feet.
Ludwig's not a little short.
He's not even a little short.
He's like 5'11.
You know what?
Oh, no.
I have a rule.
You're creating unrealistic beauty standards for straight white men.
Yeah, this is.
I would hate to experience those.
Actually, I'm sorry.
You as a woman definitely don't understand what you're doing.
I'm really sorry.
This is what I mean.
God, finally, we have a balanced podcast.
Yeah, exactly.
With enough representation against this woman who is terrorizing men.
Will would be such a pick-me right now.
He would be like, oh, you guys, what?
No.
Yep.
No, he was waiting for me to be like, Will's also conventionally attractive.
Yeah, well, yeah, well, Will, Will is conventionally attractive.
Oh, thank you.
You hesitate.
No, no, what I'm saying is like.
Did she hesitate, Marsh?
She hesitated a little bit.
Yeah, she did.
You're conventionally attractive.
Took a breather.
Did you notice that?
Would you date me if I would date you?
Wow.
Yeah, I would date you.
I know.
But I wouldn't.
There's no way, but she likes quirky guys.
She said she wants an ugly person.
No, but I'm dating Ludwig and he's not an ugly guy.
Okay, so if you weren't dating Ludwig, would we go out?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, we could go out.
Okay.
I think we'd have fun, but I don't know your non-gay personality because you're so gay.
Wait, my stray personality?
I don't know.
My straight personality is awful.
Yeah.
I don't know if we can get along.
I don't do that.
You try so hard to be straight that I don't know.
I don't do that.
I don't go out and be like, oh, let's talk about American football.
You might like football too much.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
But, I mean, I don't know.
We could go to Taylor Swift together.
Let's try it out.
Come on.
Let's try it out.
Let's go to a Taylor Swift concert together.
You think you can sneak your way into this fucking box?
It's not happening.
I am going to get inside a cutie's box.
You're not.
So awkward.
Literally and figuratively.
I'm not ever going to have to.
Austin.
Cutie.
Have you made a decision yet?
They're making fan cams.
They are making fan cams.
It's not until August, so I've got like two months.
Oh, so he's in the consideration now.
I would say, yeah.
I got to break.
Everyone's in consideration.
What about me?
No, not you.
Hassan.
Hassan can't even fit inside.
You couldn't come.
I literally told Maddie to break up with cutie.
Yeah, Maddie and I broke up.
I'm going to know.
I told Maddie Healy to break up with Taylor Swift.
Yep.
And he's like, yeah, I'll fucking do it.
I don't want to do it, but I'll do it for you.
I'll do it for you and cutie.
She's never heard him talk.
Yeah, he sounds like Hassan doing a British accent.
He is British.
I don't care.
I hated him and I always hated him.
What the fuck?
We're gonna have him on the podcast.
You can't hate him.
Wait, is he really coming on?
Yeah.
Did he text you?
No, he doesn't.
No, he's lying.
Hey, hold on.
Hassan, I need you to give me some credit here.
What?
Austin Show leveraging his very sophisticated network of celebrity connections.
We were supposed to have a guest today and they didn't show up in both of these texts at QD.
Well, that was actually his guest that he was bringing on.
I was trying to just like use some.
This is very our guest.
Should I say who they are?
Yeah, call them out.
I don't want to call them out.
I love them very much.
LeRay was supposed to.
I mean, they weren't even supposed to be here.
They didn't say that.
Yes, they were.
He literally told me he was going to be here.
He could do any day other than Saturday.
That doesn't mean I was like, oh, great.
Sunday then.
And then he just never responded to me.
Well, then I asked him, like, do you guys think it's me?
No.
No, I think it's a bad Austin.
No, what about me?
Perfect.
What about me?
Tell me.
He was like...
Because he stopped texting after he knew you were coming.
He was like, you're a bad ally to the gay movement.
I'm not an ally.
I am.
I don't know, man.
You've never said the F word.
I have never.
You cannot.
It's true.
Bridley admits.
Right before this podcast started, he called Tim and Nick that word.
I did not.
What the fuck?
Oh, that is my god.
I was like, you're the problem.
I have never called anybody the F slur.
Except for Kaya.
Except for Kaya.
You denied those allegations.
I have never called your dog the F slur.
Where's Will today?
We didn't address it.
Will's not here because he's too busy.
He's rich and famous.
He died in a self-sucking accident.
He was trying to suck his own dick.
I know we've said he hasn't.
He's died many times on this podcast.
It's going to be really awkward when he does die.
This time it's real.
He actually died in a self-sucking account.
Will wants us to profit off of his death, which I plan to.
Austin's just going to stream his death and sing at it.
Wait.
Oh, you will definitely sing in the future.
I am.
You were 100%.
You'd be like, oh, a piano?
Oh, I didn't realize.
Who?
Who told these guys to bring this grand piano to the funeral?
Dude, I did a speech at a wedding yesterday.
Yeah, was it banger?
Dude, it was so good until the end.
I like went to raise a toast.
And at the end of the speech, I was like, they played you out.
No, we'll see.
I didn't know what to say.
They what?
They played you out?
No, they didn't play me out.
No, no, no, no.
I was about to do it and I forgot what to say at the end.
And I was like, we'll see how this thing goes.
That's crazy.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like, that is the mark of death.
Oh, dude.
I was like, oh, my God.
I can't believe I just said that.
What did people say?
Well, everybody kind of giggled and awkwardly laughed.
And then I just left.
And I was like, oh, God.
You left the wedding?
No, I didn't leave the wedding.
I just left the stage.
And I was like, I'm so sorry.
So I didn't know how to end it.
Slime at a Muslim Wedding00:02:53
I mean, look, they, you know, we'll see what happens.
Dude, always make a joke about being like, and, you know, maybe I won't be able to do this with the Donald Trump presidency, something like that.
Yeah, that would have not got, it was all conservative people.
Yeah, that would have not gone.
They would have been like, yeah, keep it that way.
I didn't realize it was.
This was like a Christian wedding.
Like, I, they.
Remember giving the bachelor party?
I was like in the closet.
It was so conservative.
I had to go back in the closet.
Yeah.
That's straight Austin.
He was probably like, yeah, how about the Minnesota Vikings?
Yeah, exactly.
I was, I was like talking about pussy and all.
I love fucking women.
You'd be a good like marriage, like the guy that does the ceremony.
Oh, like aficionado?
Yeah.
Or officiator.
I would, if I had to choose, you would be my choice, but I think Slime would be Ludwig's choice.
Really?
And you guys would have to fight to the death.
Ludwig, I love Slime.
Slime would be a really good officiant.
Slime would be a really good officiator.
I think him and I could probably do it together.
I don't know what this is.
I don't think that's the right word for the record.
I don't know what's going on.
Officiato?
Efficient.
No, the officiator.
Officiator.
The guy who says marriage.
Officiator.
Efficient.
Efficient, I think.
I'd be very efficient.
I think you'd be really efficient.
Would you?
Are you gonna have a Mormon wedding?
No, I can't.
Are you gonna?
Are you gonna have a Christian wedding?
I don't even have myself.
We both have to go through the temple.
No.
Are you being would Ludwig have to wear the cool underwear?
Yeah, we'd both have to wear a water.
Are you gonna have a Muslim wedding?
Yeah, really?
No.
What's a Muslim wedding?
I don't think it's just a wedding.
There's no, I don't think there's anything unique to like a Muslim wedding, or maybe there is, but it's probably like culturally.
You're a bad Muslim.
You know that?
Yeah, I do know that.
I saw him so many non-things like what?
Name a couple.
Well, eating bacon for one.
Okay, good.
When did he see you?
Oh, when he went to bed.
Also, having me here right now.
That's pretty.
Is that anti-Muslim?
Not really.
No, no.
No, he's now being bigoted.
He's just being bigoted.
We should probably not.
No, no, we're going to keep that.
We're going to keep that in here.
That was not a good joke.
I can't believe it.
In fact, I just said the F word so many times.
You know what?
Islam is actually more supportive of gay people than Christianity.
In America.
In the United States.
In the United States.
In fact, not in Muslim countries.
I don't know anything about this.
Yeah, no.
Well, I know, but in the United States, Islam is a very supportive culture of homosexuality.
Yes.
Muslims in the United States of America are more tolerant to LGBT than white evangelical Protestants.
Not Christianity across the board, obviously, but evangelical Protestants are way less tolerant towards any kind of homosexual misconduct.
Which is why I've now converted to Islam.
Yeah.
Oh, mashallah, brother.
MashaAllah.
Mashallah.
Okay, so you guys have no opinions on this.
Autoimmune Issues and Cats00:02:41
I really thought that I waited because I thought this would be like a free derma.
So I think it's endometriosis.
What does that mean?
It's like an autoimmune issue, you think?
It makes sense because, like, I feel like my immune system has been suffering because I only stream.
It's not even just that.
It's like Kai is killing me a little bit.
What if you were allergic to Kaya?
Would you get rid of him?
Fuck no.
Yeah, you just have to eat Benadryl every day.
You would die.
I would rather die.
You would die for your dog.
100%.
If she, if you were like, if the doctor came to you right now and was like, I'm GG's.
Asan piker.
GGs.
You are going to die if you don't get put your dog up first.
I'm very weird with medicine because, like, on the one hand, I'm a firm believer in modern medicine.
I'm not like any of that holistic shit.
But on the other hand, I think the human body kind of like gets fixes a lot of the ailments.
So, you know, I just kind of like avoid it.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I have this thing.
It'll go away.
Is it itchy?
Sometimes.
How long has it been there?
Two days, I think.
Three days.
Kind of looks like herpes.
On my arm?
We don't know what you're doing with that pit.
I don't, I mean, you ever eat pussy with your yeah, with my arm, with the inside of my arm.
Yeah, you like that?
You're not that bad.
Like, you've had sex with women.
You know what it's like.
Ow.
Under?
But also, it's, I don't, I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what it's like itchy.
It's like a bit of a rash.
I think you should see a doctor for sure.
Yeah.
They're just going to give you steroid cream.
Like steroids?
No, you won't get strong.
Anabolic steroids.
No.
I would like that.
But I had a rash that was an autoimmune response.
It could be that.
Yeah, my sleep seems to have been fucked since Kai because I have to wake up in the middle of the night.
I always, she is periodically pissing at 3:30.
So cool.
And then at 6:30 again.
And then I get another hour of sleep and then she needs to pee again.
But then I just like let her out.
I like her.
I look.
This is why you need a cat.
Yeah.
It's an entirely different kind of animal.
And I also don't like cats that much.
I like dogs more.
I have two beautiful cats, two beautiful gay cats.
What?
They're gay?
Yep.
Two beautiful.
You have turned the cats.
I raised them.
Well, they weren't gay until I took them to Target.
This was what Nick Mercks was talking about for the record.
Yeah, let's talk about it.
Let's address the elephant in the room.
So for me.
I'm deleting my tweet.
You're a pussy.
I am a pussy, but they're scaring me.
Friend of the show.
By the way, I love that.
This is like.
Groomers Targeting School Kids00:15:03
This is like the type of discourse that we have where like, if you fucking say something about a person, where you're like, where you're like there are certain individuals that we're not allowed to discuss on this broadcast because a lot of people uh in the school me and Austin are afraid of them.
Yeah, which is wild.
It's because I because they already hate me and they've already done their worst.
You know what I mean.
So what the are they gonna do next?
You know there's nothing.
They can't do anything else.
Uh, they're already done it all.
But um story starts and we can pull up the welcome to Mogus mail.
Um, the story starts with Nick Merx responding to uh A Puckett who is a caster for Overwatch.
If i'm not mistaken, MLG Puckett, this is your streaming drama of the week.
So um Puckett, Overwatch is uh talking about a video where uh, in Glendale, a bunch of Anti-lgbt protesters uh duked it out with Pro-lgbt parents in the Glendale school district because the Glendale school district decided to uh acknowledge june as pride month.
Okay, the month of june is pride month for those of you who don't know, which is so funny because, like it's nothing, it's literally nothing.
It's also nothing.
And also, school is like out on the third, you know like yeah well yeah, school's out in june, so they told him for three days that it was pride month.
Yeah so uh, Puckett said this happened four blocks from our Overwatch league apartment.
Americans are in a sad place right now.
Let people love who they love and live your own life.
And um, these guys who were duking it out with the parents there, none of them most of them do not have children there.
They don't even have children.
Some of them are not even allowed near a school.
Let's be real.
These are like proud boys, january 6th rioters um, people that basically protest uh, almost professionally at this point all around the southern California area.
Now, i'm sure Nick didn't know that many people don't know that.
You have to be someone as brainbroken as myself to know the details of this sort of thing.
But Nick responded to that.
He saw this uh, you know imagery of Anti-lgbt protesters clashing with Lgbt protesters outside of a school and said they should leave little children alone.
That's the real issue.
Now, i'm no big city lawyer, but uh, I do think the real issue there is, you know, the Anti-lgbt protesters protesting a school district acknowledging pride month.
Um obviously understandably, a lot of people uh had an opinion on that.
Because I haven't, because still be there, because it invoked A lot of people, a lot of people got upset at that, understandably, because it's something that we have heard time and time again.
The idea that children are somehow being homified or transmogrified by seeing trans people or gay people is now a core common conservative principle.
It's actually something that they're duking it out on in the front lines of consumer clashes, consumer wars with Bud Light.
Numerous other brands are under attack by conservatives who are incredibly snowflaky and lose their fucking sight and lose their mind and start having an aneurysm at the prospect of a brand saying, we don't, you know, we don't mind gay people for the month of June.
For the month of June, gay people are allowed to drink our beer.
Wait, this was which school district again?
Glendale.
Look.
Okay.
First of all, it's so insane to me because being gay, I'm gay.
I didn't choose to be gay.
I was raised by two.
Look, I was raised by two straight parents who lived a straight life, who told me I was going to marry a woman my whole life.
All right.
I didn't watch or they didn't like tell me I was going to be gay.
You know, I saw gay shit.
Like they, they, they could have done everything to prevent me from being gay.
And look, I'm still gay.
You're not recognizing a month out of the year to show that, you know, you support a historically underrepresented, marginalized group, groups of people is not going to turn your kids gay.
Your kids aren't going to become gay because they see gay kids or excuse me, gay historical figures.
Historical figures or a racket Target.
It's just not going to happen.
Yeah.
It's stupid.
It's insane.
Now, let me tell you what will happen, Hassan.
You take your kids to church and you tell them that being gay is a bad thing or it's unnatural.
These kids grow up that maybe so happen to be queer grow up to hate themselves and feel that it's wrong and you cause a tremendous amount of trauma because you've taught your kids something that is completely human and completely natural that being gay is wrong and unnatural and inhuman.
So when they have these very natural human experiences, they grow up to hate themselves.
Now that's indoctrination.
Not showing support for a community, maybe via selling clothes at Target or recognizing a Pride Month.
It's insanity.
Rainbow capitalism is usually very vapid and stupid, and everyone knows that it's like silly for the most part.
It can make people feel a little bit more welcomed.
I've heard that from a lot of queer people in my community where it's like, yeah, we know it sucks, but like it's the, it's the, it's, you know, it's one thing that we have, right?
And that's what actually, that's what frustrates me about this situation is that like on the legislative side, Republicans are making efforts to just basically remove queer people from all public spaces.
And they've done this very effectively, even though there is not really an audience for it.
There's no market for it.
This is part of the reason why they kind of failed in the midterms, which is supposed to be a red tsunami and then turned into a red puddle.
But they're still doing it regardless.
And it almost feels like the cruelty is the purpose here.
And like I said, on the legislative side, they're already engaging in like hyper-marginalization.
But then also on the culture side, it's like the bare minimum for a brand to be like, oh yeah, if you're gay, you can come purchase stuff here.
And we're only going to do it for one month while we then continue giving money and funds to Republican politicians that will try to remove you from like one of my favorite restaurants, Chick-fil-A.
Chick-fil-A.
Chick-fil-A.
Which I'm very disappointed that they have become a diverse organization.
Their chicken does not taste as good anymore.
I missed when it was homophobic.
Yeah, they have a diversity, inclusion, and equity initiative.
What I was Googling over here, which I think is important, is there's 25,000 kids a part of that school district.
Like, okay, whatever.
80,000 children go to Disneyland every single day, and Disneyland is celebrating Pride Month.
Yeah, well, nobody's indoctrinating your kids.
Okay.
Nobody's saying, like, why are we, like, it's just so-saying they should protest Disneyland and stuff like that.
If you're protesting, you should protest Disneyland.
Like, well, Disneyland is significantly more powerful an institution than our already.
Disneyland is celebrating Pride, and we're having a great time.
I was there yesterday.
You're not going to be able to prevent your kids from being gay, and you're not going to be able to make them prevent your kids from being straight.
Yeah, you want them to turn into Steven Crowder because if you keep repressing, forcibly repressing your child's sexual urges, they will become Steven Crowder.
Dude, sometimes I think that some of the people, like in my replies to like my tweet today, they're just so sexually insecure.
Like that they just have to be projecting.
They just have to have like the biggest, like they watch gay porn.
They're just so closeted.
There are many, many such examples.
Gotta be.
Certainly.
Just so crazy.
Of course, not every single homophobic person is like all homophobes are just getting every homophobe is fucking other people that are of the same sex.
A lot of prominent homophobic people do end up liking the taste of dick.
But having said that, there are still plenty of straight bigots, I promise.
Nobody likes the taste of dick.
Nobody.
Dick doesn't taste like anything.
Okay, now you're doing anti-gay conversion therapy here.
No.
It's like, don't suck a dick.
It tastes disgusting.
No, like, no.
Yeah, I'm trying to.
It's unnatural and chicken.
Trunk, fire your diversity, equity, and inclusion, chief officer.
Your chicken no longer has that same oomph.
You don't even have taste buds in the back of your throat.
Clean dick doesn't taste like anything for the record.
Okay.
True.
There are two dick eaters here, and they can confirm.
Thank you, Hassan.
He's such an ally.
I am not.
I'm a foe.
He's such an ally.
That's one thing I'm actually frustrated with.
I love how you're such an ally, like, legitimately, but then like you're still a frat guy.
So like you still have like, yo, like you'll like say something super progressive and then turn to me and then call me a dick eater.
In like the same line, like you'll deliver the most progressive message and then be like, yo, we got a couple of dick eaters here, bro.
There's nothing wrong with that.
That's true.
Nothing wrong with being a dick eater.
You have to finish the story.
So Nick Mercks tweets that out.
He tweeted that out and then he had a video we can watch, I guess, his response where he I immediately reached out to him too.
And I was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
Like, what are you saying?
This makes it seem like you think that these guys are like good.
You know what I mean?
What did he say?
And he was like, yeah, I don't really have any issue with that gay stuff.
I don't care about it at all.
Basically what he said on, basically what he said on stream where.
I don't have any problem with that gay stuff.
No, no, no, no.
It wasn't even like that dismissive.
I think he's like a regular.
Yeah, I bet Nick.
He didn't have a problem with me being gay.
Yeah, no, I think he's more of like a meathead guy who definitely has like right-wing opinions, which wasn't really necessarily a secret or anything.
But I think he's been like fucking completely captured by like the likes of Matt Walsh and shit, who are telling him or using his like already existing biases to tell him like, oh, dude, these guys are actually like queerifying your children.
And that's something that can happen.
And people are susceptible to that.
Here, we can watch like not like a 46.
There's like a three minute one.
Dixerto is the fucking notorious clip chimps.
I think This is what I understand.
Like, I'm going to have to bring her upstairs in a second.
Oh, there it is.
So, like, look, Hassan, Hassan, I got a question for you.
I was at a wedding yesterday.
Okay.
I was at a wedding yesterday.
I watched two, a man and a woman get married.
They kissed.
They showed their love.
They talked about their love with one another.
Gross.
Yes.
In the presence of that wedding happened to be several children.
Are they heterosexualizing their children?
No, of course not.
And that you're trying to.
That's my point.
You're 100% nailing it.
What's the point?
The point.
Do not just pick up crumbs and throw them on the floor.
Put them in the bag.
I am literally more homophobic than whatever Nick could have ever said right now at this very moment.
I'll be honest.
I thought this was a restaurant.
I blocked out.
You shouldn't do that at a restaurant either.
But what the fuck?
You animal.
I watched you pick up the crumbs.
Both QD and I watched you pick up the crumbs and just toss it.
Crazy.
That was crazy.
I'll be honest.
I live here.
I wasn't thinking about it.
I have a dog.
I'll pick it up later.
She'll eat it.
That's not a good thing.
They're great protein, great source of protein.
I don't think that that's good for a dog to eat.
I don't know.
He'll be fine.
Well, you know what?
On the bright side, I just got a great TikTok clip.
That's crazy.
Oh, my God.
You're an animal.
I did.
Anyway, he basically said something along the lines of like, oh, I just meant like, you know, I want to be the one as a parent to have these conversations with my children.
And I think Hutch actually had a really good point on the matter where he basically said, like, well, I looked through this initiative in Glendale, and it seems that the school was going to, you know, one, recognize Juna's Pride Month.
And as a part of that, they were going to talk about like acceptance and also maybe add some already existing LGBT historical figures into their curriculum, which already like, which is already happening regardless.
So what part of that as a parent do you want to not like avoid your children learning?
I don't want them to know about Mr. Milk or Elton John.
Yeah.
Are they teaching Elton John?
They've got to.
He's a very gay historian.
If they're not talking about Eltra John, what are they doing?
Well, I don't know.
Help John's done a lot for the gay community.
I didn't learn any of that.
John HIV Foundation.
I didn't learn any of that gay shit.
So, okay.
Yep.
And look how I turned out.
Yeah, straight as fuck.
I, on the other hand, was inundated with gay culture.
So what I care about here is not necessarily even like what Nick Merx has said, but how it has been received.
Because I think there's a larger story there, right?
Yeah.
The issue is the fan base taking it and being like...
And then they're like, yeah, he is saying.
Yeah, he's saying like these guys are fucking groomers.
They need to freaking, I hate when content creators don't clarify to the sake of protection.
It drives me crazy.
Yeah.
He should clarify.
And it's sad because there was a trans content creator who's like said that they looked up to Nick Mercks.
I think they were queer content creator.
I don't know if they're trans or not, but they were talking about how they like looked up to Nick Mercks for so many years.
And like it just felt really sad seeing what he said and also how the fan base reacted to it, where it makes it feel like this is a completely a hostile space.
Yeah.
You are not straight.
Well, and it brings out the whole gaming industry is already very hostile.
And all it does is it created a forum for that.
And it's like.
Yeah.
So Activision.
Activision Call of Duty was like, dude, it's Pride Month.
What the fuck are you doing?
And remove the Nick Merck skin from the game.
Right.
And they had worked really hard to get that skin.
That was like, that was like a long initiative to put together.
And it was, you know, it was cherished.
I guess like this was one way to make Call of Duty playable again, even though it's virtually unfucking playable.
I'm sorry, Call of Duty.
Yeah, because of the insane amount of cheaters.
They should fix that instead.
So they removed it.
And then all hell broke loose.
And, you know, Tim Poole and all these right-wing commentators immediately jumped on it.
They said, Call of Duty is groomers.
Activision Removes Pride Skin00:05:44
They're groomers.
They're fucking pedophiles.
They're call of pedophiles, call of groomers.
That's basically what they've been saying.
Nah, stop.
Now, of course, the irony here is that no one gave a shit when like Activision straight up was like stealing titty milk from the fucking communal refrigerator or was like charged by the state of California for rampant sexual assault and harassment that was ongoing inside of their facilities.
Nobody fucking boycotted it then.
They boycotted over Nick Merck's skin being removed from the game.
In solidarity, Tim the Tapman came out and said, without actually addressing what Nick had said.
Yeah, that's what I think is.
And literally just said, oh, out of solidarity, you should remove my skin as well, which Call of Duty responded yes to, and they removed his skin as well.
So aside from what they have said, whether willingly or unwillingly, or without knowledge, right, of what they're actually saying, the broader, the broader ideas that that statement represents, which I can describe, which, you know, basically, you say, I want that stuff to be away from my children, the message that that invokes is there's three hidden premises there.
One, gay people and trans people and queer people in the sight of children has the capacity to turn children gay.
Two, children can be turned gay somehow.
Both are false.
Okay.
What?
And last but not least, children can be turned gay and that it is somehow a bad thing and that doing so, showing any kind of gay imagery, like two men loving one another, holding hands or anything like that, in the same fashion that you would show heterosexual couples and no one would bat an eye, is actually somehow grooming and pedophilia.
And then four, being gay is wrong at all.
Anyway, right?
Yeah.
That's the fourth one.
Awesome.
I was groomed twice in my life and they were still straight men.
Yeah.
Take that, bitches.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's definitely, it's definitely shitty.
It's definitely ridiculous.
Like, I'll give you another example.
I've been talking a lot about this issue.
I talked to XQC a lot about this issue, who had some opinions.
And XQC is often very open-minded to like different opinions if he's not like in his fucking 18-hour goblin mode, going absolute bananas mode.
You know what I mean?
And he was very receptive to this conversation, but his chat was going fucking nuts.
So much so that even LSF recognized it.
And LSF was like, dude, what the fuck's going on?
There were a lot of people who were spamming, not his entire community, obviously, but plenty of people that were spamming like that I'm a groomer and a pedophile for simply fucking defending like LGBT acceptance.
Yeah.
So the discourse at this point is basically if you are gay or trans, you're a pedophile.
And if you are even defending gay people or trans people and saying like, love is love.
Be more accepting.
Then you are also a groomer and a pedophile.
Yeah.
It's fucking cancerous.
It's super toxic.
I don't think I want to believe that half of these people that are saying things like this don't actually mean it.
And they're just like trying to fucking be edgy.
But even then, you're creating an incredibly fucking toxic environment for a lot of people.
I'm going to take Kaya and give Kaya's mad too.
Kai is mad.
She's pissed.
I mean, she's homophobic.
She's mad that I'm here.
I just really, I think it's crazy of Tim to just so nonchalantly be like, I stand with my boy.
And it's like, okay, like, that's my biggest problem.
And then the thing that makes me really sad is like, I run the streamer awards.
And so I follow a lot of smaller streamers.
And I have my, like, I have like my eyes on all these different communities at all times because I do.
I want to know when people are popping off.
I want to know when people are doing cool things.
And I just want to be very in tune with the industry.
And the amount of like tweets I saw over the last few days from smaller streamers just being so disheartened over just like nobody standing up for them besides themselves, but they're like grassroots, right?
There's you are the biggest gay creator.
Call me out for not.
I wasn't even on.
No, no, I'm just saying, like, thinking about it, there's not that, like, yeah.
I'm trying, like, I'm literally racking my brain trying to think, you know?
I mean, and so it's just like, it's just quiet, and nobody is saying anything wrong about Nick and Tim.
And then finally, I tweeted out today, which I'm going to delete it because it's, because some of the people are starting to like tweet out like my legal name and shit.
So I'm just going to delete it.
You said no.
All I literally, all I did was quote Taylor Swift and I said Shade never made anybody less gay because I thought that was the most tempered thing to respond.
Yeah.
And just like, just like show, like, just to show all these people that are smaller, like that, you know, there's still, like, there's still space for you.
Like, it's the industry is disgusting and sad, but like, hopefully.
I just, as a queer person, I cannot, as a gay guy, I cannot wrap my brain around how you could hate somebody for something that they cannot control.
As not a gay person, I can't wrap my mind.
Like, it's awful.
I just don't understand it.
I did not choose to be gay.
And like, and what I'm experiencing, millions of other people experience the same thing.
And no one in the whole wide world would choose that.
No one in the whole world.
Electric Cars vs Gay Beamer00:05:28
No, why would I choose that?
Why would I be hated on like for nothing?
Like, you know, why would I choose that, right?
It's so funny.
So much as you would rather be gay.
I would rather be gay.
I mean, I'll be honest.
I love being gay, right?
I love making it.
Which is important to point out because it's like, even if it wasn't a fucking choice, even if it was literally a choice, who the fuck cares?
What happened?
I thought these motherfuckers were all like libertarians.
That's true.
You know, that is the most like, that's my problem with it overall.
It's not a choice, but even if it was, why the fuck are you so bent about like what people choose to do, who they choose to fuck?
You know what I mean?
Man, it's so crazy.
Yeah, it's, it's, it's fostering like an incredibly fucking toxic environment.
I feel like Twitter after the Elon acquisition has turned into this like a shithole.
Yeah.
It's like actually so bad.
I got another bone to pick with Elon after this.
Yeah.
I have a bot that like bans people essentially.
So if you've ever been banned and you follow me on Twitter, it's not me.
So don't feel special.
It's a bot.
It's literally a bot.
But the amount of bans since then has just been like, it's like, you know, people like to reply just like awful things and we just have all these words or pictures that will automatically get you banned or whatever.
But man, yeah, it's crazy.
Look, I got a bone to pick with Elon Musk.
Do it.
Is it his.
I blew out a wheel on my tire on my car.
Okay.
Okay.
And for some reason, the only car I could rent was a fucking Tesla.
I hate Teslas.
Okay.
You did this in Texas too.
I rented a Tesla.
I hate it too.
Okay.
And let me tell you, I never wanted to ruin the environment so bad that when I was driving from Oregon to Seattle in this stupid, godforsaken Tesla, it took me five hours to drive a normal drive of three hours in this stupid thing.
I was chained to an electric charging station every 90 minutes.
Wait, I don't get it.
Was it yet another car?
I was dumped off.
The battery was shitty.
No, it was just a normal Tesla.
The battery was fine.
I was just, I was strapped on the side of a freeway in some hodunk town in the middle of Washington state in like a Walmart or something to fend for myself while this car charged for like 35 minutes.
What's the distance?
250 miles, allegedly.
It gets you 130 max.
Okay.
Because it's not accurate, right?
Because God forbid you use the air conditioning or the windshield wipers.
Right?
If you use one of those things, it wastes the battery.
God forbid you accelerate a little quicker, right?
It took me five hours.
I had to Uber to a Starbucks while my car was charging.
Why don't you just Uber eats it to you?
Well, that would have taken longer.
I just Uber to the Starbucks.
The car got was a minute away.
I drove there, waited for the Starbucks and came to the thing.
I am anti, I'm not anti-electric.
Oh.
Oh.
But I'm anti-electric.
Yeah, you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm an anti-electric car.
I am never buying an electric car.
I'm going to buy the most carbon.
I just saw.
What's the opposite of carbon neutral?
Carbon maximum.
Carbon polluting.
You already fly on a plane every day.
But look, no, no, to be honest, I'm very, I support electric vehicles.
We just need to build more infrastructure.
God, we sound so liberal and not Teslas.
We need to start.
We need to talk about something else.
That's why I'm here.
I'm here to tell you that being gay is bad.
And you should have a V8 in your car.
Yeah, that too.
That's right.
That's right.
And guns.
And guns.
And you should never mind.
No, no.
Never mind.
You should run V8s.
But yeah, I'm an anti-electric car.
A trip.
Yeah.
I returned it.
The real reason why Austin's anti-electric car is because my EV cooks is fucking shit ass beamer.
I have a BMW X5M comp.
Okay.
Hassan has this little sissy, pussy leftist pussy car.
I have a take hand for it.
He's got a pussy car with an electric, right?
It's a marvelous car.
I like the way you say pussy.
You don't like that.
It's a marvel.
I'm taking that back.
Do I sound straight when I say pussy?
It's a marvel of German engine.
Hassan has this stupid car that thinks he can beat mine in the comments section.
I want everybody to tell Hassan that my X5M comp is going to beat his little sissy car.
It's an electric vehicle on a straight.
There is no fucking shot that your car, even if you tweak it, which you told me you were going to, there's no shot that your regular engine.
It's not a regular engine.
Okay.
Your twin turbo V8.
Your twin turbo V8 engine is going to be able to handle with all the torque in the world.
It's not going to ever come near an electric vehicle because an electric vehicle does not have gears.
Not true.
You have gears.
Yeah, but my gears go faster than whatever the hell your car does.
My car does not have gears.
Your car sucks.
That's why the fastest vehicles on the planet are EVs.
You know what?
Your car's gay.
Oh.
Okay.
It's your car's mother.
Hassana.
Congratulations.
All right.
Fine.
My gay car will fucking smoke your straight car.
My car is a heterosexual bodybuilder.
Okay.
And your car's gay.
Yeah, my car is objectively more sleek than yours because he's gay bodybuilder.
He's lean.
Everybody knows he's leaning.
Your car is kind of hot.
I'll be honest with you.
My Car Is Straight00:14:37
I'll give it to you, but I'm not gay, though.
Yeah.
They got to you.
Yeah, no, he's kind of hot, but I'm not.
They got me to change my mind.
You're like, fuck yeah, I hate this gay shit.
Yeah, it is.
You're like, how am I supposed to play COD without that skin?
Yeah, God.
The irony of that is also not lost on me because, like, it's a Spartan skin.
I went out to a bachelor party with a bunch of straight men.
Yeah, you told us that.
Oh, did I talk about it last podcast?
Well, I don't know what you're about to say to us.
Bang story reuser.
But just to watch the, I went out with a bunch of very, very stereotypical straight men and just to watch them talk so fra, like they're so fragile about like the fact that they can get pleasure from like somebody putting a finger in their butt.
Oh, they like talk about like using a bidet and they're like shy.
Yes.
Yeah.
They can't even acknowledge the fact that they have a prostate.
That's so funny.
It's so funny.
That's why gay is natural.
Like men have a G-spot in their assholes.
Yes.
This is sexual.
Yeah, but God wants you to avoid that.
Also.
What?
You want to ask me?
I do.
One time, I'm not oversharing, I don't think.
Because Ludwig said it on a Train Rex podcast.
He talked about how one time a girl put her finger up his butt.
Did you like it?
I don't know.
I don't think he said that on the Train Rex podcast.
I have no clue.
I haven't actually never clarified.
I could totally see Ludwig saying this.
And I don't imagine it like that.
What?
I didn't say it.
Finger up his butt.
I could just imagine him talking about it.
Anyway.
He's imagining putting it.
If a butt is not prepped and you randomly put a finger up the butt, wouldn't that get poop?
No, there's not just shit sitting in the butt.
Okay, Austin and I have had this conversation many times.
He calls it poop fracking.
I think.
Yeah, I get that.
No, no, no.
There is only, only if.
Marsh, pull up an asshole right now.
This is why, this is why Austin.
This is literally where the selfish top narrative came from.
I'm for bottom's rights.
Okay, and bottoms rights.
Austin is.
Representing bottom's rights and tops rights.
Yes.
Let me hear it.
This is our special pride episode.
Austin is a selfish top.
Tops are the straight white men of the gay game.
Yeah, 100%.
Because he does not appreciate the profound amount of prep work that goes into being a come-hungry bottom.
Yeah, yeah.
I disagree with that.
My boss at my old job was a come-hungry bottom, and he would tell me all about his prep.
Really?
There's so much.
He'd be like, I'm so horny, but I haven't done.
Yeah, he'd have to, he'd douche and enemas.
Yes.
And the thing you'd smell, party poppers.
Yeah, party.
Yeah, poppers open up your anus.
Yeah.
Tell me about that.
Your anus.
One time I was actually house sitting.
His cat, his cat had diabetes, and I had to give his cat medicine.
Which is irrelevant.
It is.
I had to give his cat medicine, and it was in this little canister, but also his party, his party poppers were in this little canister, and I didn't know which one was what.
And he texted me.
He was like, smell them to see.
And I was like, that's not funny.
But I figured it out.
I've done a pauper.
What do they do?
On the Super Mega podcast.
It just makes you a little lightheaded.
I wouldn't like that.
Did you feel your ass relax?
Not really.
They told me that after.
I didn't know that that was like a very conscious.
You got to be in tune with it.
Your butt.
Yeah.
Look, see another sign that bottoms are doing the most.
Look, look, look.
Bottoms are doing the most in the gay game.
Bottoms are doing the most.
I think bottoms are.
Never agree that I've never disagreed with that.
And I don't think bottoming is easy.
One thing I can tell you is you can't even do booty boot camp.
Professional bot.
Look, I have re-enlisted into the booty military.
Wait, really?
Yes, and I will be.
Have you tried booty boot camp?
I have not tried it, but I am going to boot camp.
Yeah, he's also getting a house in LA.
Yeah.
I'm going to fly into Japan.
I'm going to booty boot camp.
Me and Will will do booty boot camp before you.
In fact, I think we should do booty boot camp behind the paywall.
Let's all do booty boot camp.
I'll do it.
Yeah, no, I think we're not doing that.
Well, Asan, fine.
How about this?
I'm going to do it.
I got to deal.
I got to do home of it.
I can't do booty booty camp.
I got a deal to make with you, okay?
What's up?
If you do booty boot camp with me, I will go.
No one wants me to do booty camp camp.
Thing where I got to show you my penis.
Onsen.
It's not like a penis showing experience.
You're just so hyper-focused on the penis aspect of it that it's like pretty funny.
Austin, you're so fucked because after Japan, they're going to come back in the first episode of the podcast.
They're going to be like, Austin's penis is so weird.
Look, I talked to my even if it's massive.
We're just dude, it's time.
Big shout out.
Okay.
My esthetician, who so happens to be Japanese, watches this podcast.
And every time I go get a facial, she talks to me about what she saw on the podcast.
And she's old, too, right?
She's like a little bit older.
Don't call her old.
She watches the podcast.
She's hot.
He always talks about how hot you are.
Yeah, we love you.
But no, no.
Look, she's.
But it's important for the story.
I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to.
I don't want to.
She's not old.
Okay.
She looks medium skinny.
Okay, first of all, she has beautiful.
I just know how old she is.
Okay.
She's beautiful.
You're getting angry.
No, no, she's very beautiful.
I thought she was in her.
I thought she was like 45 or 50.
Yeah.
Turns out she's in her 70s.
That's why it's relevant to the menu.
Okay, but she's in her 70s and she watches a podcast.
She loves Fierand.
Okay.
I don't want to tell anybody her name because she's shouts out to her 70-plus-year-old grandmas out there.
Okay.
So I was talking to her about this thing.
I told her, I said, look, I don't want to show my penis to Hassan.
And she said, what she said, well, actually, you can cover your penis.
With what?
With like a little rag.
You take a shower and you're separated.
And then you show, you can cover your penis with a little bit of a rag.
And I'm okay with that.
Are you okay with that?
Fine, I guess.
You're going to have your penis out, aren't you?
I don't know.
We'll see.
Can we like...
I'm going to pull that rag off you so quick.
Dude, I just, I don't.
I'm very modest.
I'm going to pull the rag off you.
We're going to do, we're going to do like.
She's going to haze me.
Yeah, friend.
We're going to do the most homoerotic, dude.
You're going to be a different man by the end of the show.
Yeah, but then no, you're going to bully me and then I'm going to get awkwardly hard.
That'd be so funny.
You like bully me and I'm just going to be awkwardly naked and hard and you guys are be making fun of me.
And so he's gay.
Look at him.
His dick's hard, bro.
You're laughing because this is what you used to do in college.
You're not going to onsen.
There's just no way.
Then we're going to get kicked out and deported from the country.
Oh my goodness.
He's gearing up to be hard.
That's it.
Oh, man.
And then you can be like, see, it's six and three quarters.
That's look.
I have a pretty good dick.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Don't say that's right, cutie.
I haven't seen it.
No, I said, I'm sorry, cutie.
Oh, I thought you said that's right.
Oh, I don't care.
You can talk about your penis.
Okay.
Watch out for the water.
The size of the kitty.
Oh, my gosh.
That was the question you said.
Episode of the Royale is this.
Yeah.
Okay, but it's a good question.
Go ahead.
Size really matter.
No, I mean, to an extent.
Okay, what is the extent?
Like, I mean, I've said this before.
It makes a lot of men insecure, so sorry.
But all of you could be replaced with a vibrator pretty easily.
Like, every single one of you.
Vibrator could do better than you.
Yeah, but does your vibrator have six pack abs?
Probably get one.
So I'm just saying, even if you have a micro dick, you can still make things work.
I would say, like...
Hold on.
Do you have an emotional connection with your vibrator?
No.
That's it.
That can't be.
You can't replace it.
You don't have to.
You don't have to connect like emotion with sex.
You don't necessarily have to.
But I know.
I know.
I'm talking to a better.
It's better.
Tell me about your emotional sex, Austin.
Please.
No, I've had many emotional sexes.
Okay.
I have a lot of emotional sex all the time.
It's very emotional.
I cried a lot.
You connect a lot.
Oh, yeah.
I cried a lot.
Me too.
Shut up.
Yeah, in fact, we both cried together.
I knew it.
He cried because he was having gay sex.
Because we're married, evidently.
Stop.
Dude, you got to see me.
He's baiting.
He just wants all the time.
Oh, yeah, no, no.
It's weird because.
I'm just sick and tired of people thinking that you're my type.
It's weird that.
It's not my type either.
We've said it.
It's weird that you're not.
The queer baiting is happening by the one queer guy here.
Like, you were the one who's constantly like, we're dating.
Dude, we're married.
All over my TikTok.
It's like they're dating.
I don't think anyone actually believes that.
I've never seen that meme one time.
Look, I'm going to go to my team.
I've actually never seen that either.
You're going to find it.
Pull up Austin's last tick.
Hold on.
I'm going to pull up Austin's last ticket.
I'm going to go to my TikTok right now.
You've never been shipped with Will.
I think people are good with us.
I think.
Okay, by the way, my TikTok editor uploaded a video of me saying I like butthole.
No, clip the...
How was clip the last one?
Let's see.
No, no, no, no.
Go three in.
Three in and then go to the top top comment.
Hasana's name is Riz.
Him being 10 foot tall and built like a small truck is his Riz.
Will is my bias.
Riz Master.
Okay, okay, okay, no, this isn't the clip.
Okay, they're not talking about it.
Oh, interesting.
No, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Go to the go to that one right there.
Next thing.
One over.
No.
Babies and toddlers.
Austin, you're so true for that.
Okay, go, go.
This isn't the one.
Okay, next thing.
Can you adopt me?
No, no.
Yeah, that one.
Isn't he your boyfriend?
The top comment.
Look at the dog.
Dude, he liked.
You had to search for it.
Oh, wait, scroll up.
Austin Hassan make a cute couple.
We do not make a cute couple.
You could.
Anyone makes a cute couple.
Can I just say this?
If you came out as gay, it would ruin our relationship.
Why?
Because you'd be jealous.
Have you been lying about him not being your type?
He's not my type.
No, he's jealous.
He's jealous.
No, can we?
You be known as the gay guy.
He's jealous as how much I pull without even being gay from the gay community.
It pisses me off.
I'm like sitting there and like these gay men, gay men, are thirsting over this straight guy that'll never be gay.
When Austin's ready for you to thirst over him.
Exactly.
I'm ready for it.
Please thirst over Austin.
Yeah, please.
Yeah.
That's refreshing.
He does this every episode.
I think people.
I know we know.
I think.
I mean, I don't need the attention, but I'm okay with it.
Stans are good.
Stans are good with this group.
I never get shipped with Will.
I never get shipped with you.
I never get shipped with you.
Good.
Stans are good.
They definitely don't ship me with you.
Why?
Okay, but what is the, what is the, well, no, no, because they know I'm gay.
They could dream.
That's true.
If they shift you two together, you dumb fuck.
I will.
Oh, that's true, but they don't really.
Oh, so you're.
Oh, well, so you lied.
So you admitted.
No, we're married.
So it's the me.
Stop trying to make it happen.
Stop trying to make it happen.
Christ.
I want you guys to cancel him for queer baiting.
No, no, look, listen to me.
One thing I do find funny is on the internet, a lot of people ship like your favorite content creator is not gay, folks.
Sometimes.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
There are people out there that want so desperately their content creator to be a homosexual.
Oh, Taylor Swift.
They did that too.
No, yeah.
Well, Taylor's Gaylord's real.
I mean, Gaylord's.
It's like, how about this?
Instead of desperately grasping at straws and what's the word? Gay?
There's trans gay baiting.
Austin just wants to be your icon.
Just let him be your icon.
Oh, okay.
A gay investigation.
Gay station.
I don't know what investigation.
Oh, that's a good question.
Investigation.
Investigation.
Instead of doing that, why don't you just appreciate and elevate other queer creators and ship them together?
He's literally just talking about himself.
Who do you want to be shipped with?
I don't want to be shipped with anybody.
I can't think.
What?
Austin.
How long has it been fucked up for?
That's insane.
Is it better?
Hello?
I can't see it.
It's your gayest trait.
Who do you want to be shipped with?
I don't want to be shipped with anybody.
Yeah, but name another gay creator.
Like, you don't want it, but he's not.
Ludwig is straight.
You don't broke the fucking thing.
Why are you assuming his sexuality?
I'm sure there are people that ship you with.
I can't believe you're assuming Ludwig's sexuality during Pride Month.
I think he said he's straight.
Hasn't.
Wait, what?
You're.
I wouldn't know if Ludwig is gay or straight as his girlfriend.
Ludwig told me.
Well, I've never asked.
I think I'm 99% sure he's straight.
But I've never asked.
He's never.
No, he's not gay.
Is he bi?
No, I don't think so.
He's never asked me.
I just said, let's not do investigation on straight.
Yeah, I'm just doing it.
But like me, like for the record, I say that straight mostly because I don't care to clarify otherwise.
I could be bi.
I don't know.
I came out as a- I could see myself marrying a woman.
I could have a lovely relationship and great sex.
I came out as a bisexual.
It would be good because we would just never have anything.
I could never marry a woman.
You're as bisexual as I am bisexual.
Yeah.
Okay.
I have not the opposite ends of that space.
I have not had a fantasy about it.
Like the last I watched straight.
Actually, that's not true.
You're more bisexual than me because you have actually had sex with actually.
I think I've asked Ludwig.
I'm 90% sure he's straight, straight.
But let me tell you something.
I am.
I feel like I watched straight porn one time or like a few months ago and I did it and it felt wrong.
Slowly Turning Bisexual00:02:19
Well, the porn you watched doesn't mean anything.
It felt like a kink.
That's fine.
Oh, that's actually a good point.
I forgot to mention as far as like turning gay.
I would have sex with a woman with the only guy involved.
Yeah.
As far as turning gay goes, the first time I ever saw gay sex was I still remember.
I remember it fondly.
No, I do remember it because it was like so stumble across gay sex.
I'm going to explain it to you.
True blood.
We talk about sex so much on this.
It was true blood.
True blood.
True blood.
Alexander Scarsgaard was either fucking someone or getting fucked.
And I was like, whoa.
What does he look like?
He's hot.
I know.
I bet.
He wasn't as hot back then.
I think he's like Viking Alexander Scarsgaard is my favorite.
That's the hottest.
But googling it.
I feel like his name.
I saw that.
It was shocking.
It did absolutely nothing for me.
And if that was the case, you know, that was a moment that is supposed to be like captivating.
You know what I mean?
Is that not?
Like, when the first time you saw gay sex, you were like, oh, shit, this is kind of fucking.
No, actually, it felt wrong, actually, the first time I saw it.
It felt wrong, but like, my journey was weird because I didn't want the sex part.
I just like to watch people suck each other off.
Kiss.
And I was like, I don't want the butt stuff.
That's kind of weird.
And then I tried it.
And boy, was it good?
But you said I thought you were like slowly but surely easing into it.
I did.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
But I didn't start with butt stuff.
I didn't start with all I'm saying is at a certain point, you found yourself gravitating towards that.
I did, yeah.
Slowly but surely, it started with the straight porn and then slowly but surely I'd only focus on the but you could also watch it any porn.
Yeah, I've watched straight porn before and gotten no, but I'm saying like straight men, you could watch gay porn.
It's not weird.
If you're straight, you can still like gay porn.
Well, here's the deal.
Another problem is another instance of gay sex in another HBO show was White Lotus.
Again, what did you think when you saw it?
Were you like, oh?
No, it's just like, I see it as like any other.
Dude.
Would you go to a gay strip club with me?
Best Man Goes Gay00:02:34
I have.
For my with happy does not count.
Not with you.
Okay, how about my bachelor party?
When I get married, I want you to take when you two get married.
Are you going to be in charge of my bachelor party?
Is he your best man?
You and Will.
You have to choose your best man.
That's really awkward because Will's not here.
Me or Will.
Oh, I'm Will right now.
Oh, well, then he's planning your bachelor market.
I'm not taking fucking.
I'm not going to your bachelor party.
Oh, what?
Yeah.
If you don't make me and Will, I'll give it.
I'll give it to Will too.
Wait, you guys share my best man.
Yes.
If you don't make us co-best men, we're not coming.
How about I do just how about I just don't make a best man?
That's a cop out.
Best men.
Wait, I'm not even in the...
Do I get to do anything?
You.
No, you're a woman.
Again.
My wedding party is all men.
You want to be the flower girl.
Don't defile the sanctity of gay marriage.
And you can make the cake.
Right.
I got to do work.
You can make the cake.
I don't get to be the flower girl.
You're lying because you're going to have some cute ass niece of some kind show up.
I'm going to have a twink flower girl.
Come on.
That's really messed up.
What?
Like a fan.
What do I got to be?
You could be the...
What could you be?
I can be the...
I can be efficient.
You could officiate my wedding.
I could officiate.
I'd be really good.
Would you officiate my wedding?
Yeah.
What if I wanted to have a Mormon wedding?
Can't.
You're gay.
That's true.
But what if we don't act on it?
Wait, I thought Mormons were like open-minded now.
No.
You couldn't go through the temple and have a gay wedding.
Oh, really?
Wait, but what if you don't act on your urges?
So wait, what is it?
What's the Mormon church position now about gay people?
You can be gay, just don't act on it.
You just can't.
They exist.
They just kind of a gray area.
How they exist, you cannot act on it.
How welcoming and open-minded.
Yeah, that's so sweet.
Well, you know what?
Some people are addicted to drugs.
They say that keep that away from my children.
That's what they say.
They said, remove my Call of Duty skin right now.
Yeah.
That's what they did.
The Mormon Call of Duty skin notoriously.
They did.
I'm actually, I'm deleting that tweet.
You still have garments.
Oh, my God.
You're such a pussy.
I am a pussy only because they are so scary.
You're such a cow.
One of them tweeted out my freaking phone number.
No, thank you.
For me, I mean, I get it.
It's not for everybody.
It's not for everybody.
Being the recipient of a barrage of hatred every fucking day online is probably not something that I would ask of others to do.
Not great.
There's definitely a learning curve, and it takes a while to get used to it.
Now I don't really give a shit.
I will say.
Phil sucks.
I did lose a few hundred followers, and that was the best thing that came of that tweet.
See you guys freaking later.
You lost a few hundred followers?
Yeah.
Wow.
I lost like 300, and I feel great about it.
Voting for Biden Illegally00:03:56
That's crazy.
So there were people that were following you, but were like... Homophobic?
I'm sure.
They're like, Republicans buy sneakers too.
I don't understand that.
Like, they follow you.
I feel like I'm pretty like...
That's where I've tweeted a lot.
Wow, Judy Cinderella has an opinion on gay people and LGBT pride that I don't agree.
It's crazy.
I do think that's a good idea.
That means that there's at least 300 people that just wouldn't follow me just because I'm gay.
Do you think there's people that don't like me because I'm gay?
Yes.
Probably.
There's people that don't like me because I'm a woman.
There's people that don't like you because you're gay.
There's also people that don't like me because I'm a man.
Not many.
That's not a thing.
I'm sure there's some.
There are some women.
No, there's definitely people that don't like you because you're a man.
I forgot.
Keep it up.
Unless you're a little too crazy.
There's also people that don't like me because people don't like me due to my Lebanese heritage.
That's not true.
They don't like you because of your personality.
Example.
That's not true.
Example number one.
They would have to.
The son hates me for being Lebanese.
They would have to search so far to figure out that you're Lebanon.
Look at my face.
I've got Lebanese face.
Look at my face.
I represent like a Lebanese man.
Look at me.
Okay.
I don't like it, actually.
Okay.
Marshall, show my face.
First of all, I'm Lebanese.
You're Phoenician.
I'm not Phoenix.
What race is your family Muslim Lebanese?
No, Christian Lebanese.
Exactly.
You don't even know your own heritage.
I just said no.
You are Phoenician then.
I don't know what Phoenician means.
Exactly.
You don't even know what you're doing.
Yeah, look at the Wikipedia.
He supported Joe Biden in the 2020 United States.
What is that?
That's one of my...
Wikipedia is awesome.
Lebanese and Irish descent.
What race is Austin show?
What did they say about me?
Yeah.
I don't know why.
One of the leading things.
Maya.
And Maya.
And I called her Michael Kaya Maya.
And Akaya's race made it too.
Look, I.
It's not even full Tibetan mask.
I don't know why, but on my Wikipedia page, one of the prevailing things is that I'm gay and I supported Joe Biden in the 2020s.
Yeah, I wonder why.
I wonder why that made it to you.
That's your tagline.
I'm gay.
No, look.
Your most prominent features have literally been on my broadcast during the election cycle.
Look, excuse me.
I had a long career of lover host.
Do you really want that to be?
Yeah, you don't want that.
I go Titty Tuesdays.
Count your lucky stars that they know you as the Joe Biden guy.
Okay, look.
Well, they're about to know me as the guy that's going to support Joe Biden again in 2024.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Are you going to vote for him?
I'm going to vote for him illegally multiple times.
As I always do.
That's my favorite.
Yeah, I'll be honest with you.
Hassan's not joking.
When I pulled up today, there were several mules.
Yeah.
Like just like donkeys?
I like to go to old folks' homes in red districts and beat them up and steal their votes and then rewrite Joe Biden.
In fact, and also, I also write crime should be legal.
Yep.
Hassan and I are actually taking a trip to Mexico to drive a bunch of illegal immigrants across the board and vote for Joe Biden.
That too.
Yeah.
We love doing that.
We're packing him in the back of his Porsche.
We're a fan of that sort of thing.
It's going to be really hard, though.
We'll probably run out of battery.
We're going to run out of battery.
It's not very good on long distance drives.
Is there anyone else applying besides Joe by chance?
On the Democratic side, there's RFK Jr., who is an anti-vaxxer freak.
And then there's Marianne Williamson, who is a crystal mommy.
We love Mary.
Interested.
So that's it.
That's it.
That's a Democratic.
I'm going to say it before we go to the paywall.
Michelle Obama needs to run for the Democratic ticket.
Behind the paywall, we will discuss none of this and instead talk about Dreams Face Reveal and Re-reveal.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's getting a ton of plastic surgery done.
He's coming back.
Michelle Obama Runs Again00:01:02
No, he's not.
We're going to leave your speculations behind the paywall, which you can access at patreon.com slash Fiorand.
And we'll see you next time.
Bye.
Peace, y'all.
Okay.
This is new gay.
Weho is the gayest motherfucking place.
It's like you got Weho, you got Atlanta, you got San Francisco.
There's like places that are super gay, but Weho is the gayest.
Yeah, it's the gayest, 100%.
Like, dude, like, you walk, I just walked up.
Like, I feel like gay people are in the majority here.
You literally.
Everybody's gay.
Like, very cheap.
Which is a problem.
I agree.
Yeah.
It's a huge problem.
I hate that.
They're indoctrinating our children.
They so are.
By just existing.
For sure.
You know?
Dude, that's.
Can I?
Oh, wait.
You know what?
Can I say something?
What?
Say.
I wish I would have said this on the podcast or like the payroll.