MoistCritikal and Hasanabi discuss their upcoming porn react video featuring a massive "Moby Huge" dildo while debating Tampa's appeal against Panama City Beach. They analyze firearms as recreational tools rather than defensive necessities, contrasting tipping culture as charity versus a living wage demand, and dissect the Disney-Ron DeSantis political conflict regarding LGBTQ+ representation. The hosts compare theme parks, warn of Florida sinking by 2050, and debate whether engaging trolls cultivates toxicity or drives despair, ultimately concluding that creator clashing often amplifies polarization rather than resolving it. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Porn React in Tampa00:14:29
We are here in Tampa.
Yes, we are.
What's going on, everybody?
That's right.
We're here.
We're here.
Our dicks are hard.
We're locked and loaded.
We're going to be doing a porn react at Belle Delphians' latest OnlyFans excursion.
I'm very excited.
We got Charlie Moyce Critical here with us.
Hey, hey.
I'm happy to be here.
I'm hoping we talk a lot about wieners and stuff, which is kind of my forte.
Oh, yes.
Dude, that's funny you say that because that's all we talk about on this podcast.
We talk about cock more than any podcast.
Yeah, that's a bold claim.
We have 300 episodes of all dicks.
Really?
All dick, dude.
That's why we came here.
We came to Tampa for no other reason other than to talk to the dick talk guy himself.
And it's kind of cool that you guys actually bought the Is Fortnite overrated couch.
So we're basically like recreating that right now.
We grew up, we did a little bit of Anovar, and now we're here.
Is Fortnite overrated is what we're going to be doing?
No, of course not.
We're out here in literally probably, I hate to disrespect your hometown like this.
One of the worst fucking places in the United States of America.
Jesus Christ.
So I'm going to get defensive.
I think it's not even the worst place in Florida.
I think that absolutely comfortably.
True.
Miami, for sure.
Okay, I take it back.
I've been to no Panama City Beach.
What?
Have you ever...
Panama City Beach is a...
No, that's the worst place in America.
There's a lot of really bad places in Florida.
I just, I used to live here.
I'm going to disagree.
I don't even think it cracks top 10 worst places in America.
I just don't think you've been to enough places in America.
I've been to a lot of places.
I've been all up and down the East Coast.
He said my expectations at rock bottom, and I landed here and I was like, God, you know what?
It isn't that bad.
You also did walk one block and then say that we've walked three miles and that you were sweating per second.
And you took almost your entire shirt off.
Like you, you unbuttoned your shirt all the way down to the bottom.
It's Tampa.
You've got a respect.
Hopefully, it is 75 degrees and I don't normally sweat at that temperature.
Yep.
Humidity here is absolutely like the silent killer.
Absolutely.
It's kind of the devil.
That's the first thing people notice.
But I'm starting to warm up to Florida a little bit.
I don't know why.
I'm starting to like a great atmosphere.
No, this is like one shirtless man and he went.
This is a very gay state.
This is a very gay state, not even because like actually super gay, but like there's just a lot of Puerto Rican, Cuban, Dominican men out here.
And then, you know, it's just, you just, you might have, you might suspect it to be a gay state for that reason.
They're not gay.
A noise like a fat man perusing a menu.
Yeah.
There's a lot of beautiful men and women out here, too.
So there's a lot of colleges here.
So a lot of like the younger people come to Florida to study.
And it has a lot of like party universities.
So you get a lot of different demographics coming together kind of to share the same goal of just partying.
It is, it is incredible.
I have seen so many beautiful people.
Yeah.
Men and women.
I'm starting to, it may have turned me bisexual.
Oh, okay.
Florida will do that to you.
I saw some boobs that transcended sexuality today.
She used to be a sexy person.
Where would you have seen boobs today?
Well, not like bear boobs.
Oh, gotcha.
Gotcha.
They were on display.
They were on display.
Like, I wasn't, they weren't out.
Right.
You could see the potential.
They still had secrets to share.
Yes, got you.
You have a lot.
I walked in here and the first thing I see is several cocks.
Yep, the Moby Huges.
So where did your cock obsession start?
So a long time ago, we have a shop here called The Todd.
And I used to drive by it a lot going to university when I was commuting back in the day.
So I was always curious what they had.
And they had the wackiest shit.
So they had alien pussies.
And I was like, that's sick.
That's hype.
That's hot.
What's an alien pussy like?
So that's what I wanted to get to the bottom of.
So I tackled it using the scientific method.
I bought one.
Yep.
And you fucked it.
I never fucked it, actually.
That's crazy.
Yep.
So I got it.
I wanted to test like the durability.
So I'd like break things with it.
And I was like, this is fucking awesome.
Stress testing.
And it made the goofiest, like, passenger seat of a car and crashed it.
So I was like, this is fucking crazy.
Like, are all sex toys built like this?
And I just started getting like a whole smorgasbord of all kinds of different utensils and using them for different things.
And then I eventually found the Moby Huge.
And I was like, this is the Magnum Opus.
Can we explain what a Moby Huge is for those people listening at home?
Yeah, so that is a three-foot, roughly 70-pound dildo.
It's sold through Amazon by a company called Glory Cock, I think.
Something like that.
And all they good folks at Glory Cock bringing Patriots, honestly, all of them.
Do you think anyone's actually used that?
It's impossible.
It would actually bisect them.
I know it would split them in half.
I mean, I was doing, I was like using it like a kettlebell, swinging it, and that shit's heavy.
Do we think this is like the sub-five-minute mile where at some point in human history, everyone was unanimously, it's impossible.
But as training technology evolved, so too did our ambition for the stars.
Someone has to be the one to finally break new ground, the pioneer to train.
There's some fine young athlete out there.
If Sysweck can't do it, I don't know.
Like, I don't know if the next generation will be trained on different types of booty boots.
I think we may as humans assholes will evolve over time.
Or being born without wisdom to get our assholes more dilated over time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To be able to take the Moby Huge.
Yeah.
I think that's so we need to begin to use them or attempt to use them.
And eventually you can't be speaking on this as the selfish top on this podcast.
No, I can be because I'm looking for people that.
He's the carrier, Mike.
You are fucking up the mic here.
Is it bad?
How long was it bad for?
Not very long.
Okay.
God damn it.
That's incredible.
Is it better now?
It's actually a skill, honestly, at this point.
Test test one, two.
Okay, sorry.
Sorry, Terry.
I mean, truly, truly, I think that it's a skill.
Yeah.
What you're doing.
I fuck up the mics every podcast.
Every podcast.
He switches the mics in my studio, which is like stable, you know what I mean?
And whichever microphone he sits on, he breaks.
Speaking of skill and lack of skill, though, you failed Booty Boot Camp.
I did.
So there's this thing.
Have you ever put something in your butt before?
Not by design, but like a toilet paper ripping and you get like jump scare.
You got it.
So wait.
Oh, jump scare.
Yeah, it's not like what I was planning on happening.
Okay.
Oh, I see what you mean in a finger.
Well, there's this thing called booty camp.
You're wiping aggressively when you have enough.
Well, it doesn't like go fully in, but it like knocks on the door.
You're wiping and you just.
You need a bidet, my man.
That's what you need.
I've heard the glory of the bidet one day.
One day.
Yeah, those are phenomenal.
Nothing but good things.
So Booty Boot Camp is a series of dildos that works you slowly up to the size of a training kit.
It is a training kit.
Gotcha.
And I notoriously failed.
He couldn't get past the thimble.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Couldn't get past the first one.
He couldn't even get past the finger in the butt while you're wiping.
No, no.
It was a little bigger than that.
Give me some credit.
Was it like painful?
No, it just wasn't my thing.
It was like a thumb.
It wasn't even painful.
I mean, Hassan is homophobic, notoriously.
Yeah.
So he's true.
He doesn't like to even talk about this.
Yeah.
Usually, like, it's very uncomfortable.
Yeah, it just makes me very upset.
Yeah.
moment that we started talking about gays.
The moment I entered Florida, he felt very comfortable surrounded by homophobes.
He was trying to throw me into traffic.
That's amusing.
Florida is pretty gay.
So like I said.
Wait, you have to bleep that out on the podcast.
Wait, why?
I just said the F-slur.
Oh, yes.
We are not bleeping that out.
We are not.
Finally, fucking got him.
Dude, he was dropping the F-slur all day today.
You're like, you're such a little kitten when you're on camera.
You never want to say it.
Wait, am I going to get canceled for that?
No, dude.
I told you.
You literally.
Okay.
You also are gay.
Yeah.
You also did order an unusual drink at Starbucks.
Yeah.
It was weird.
Yes.
I ordered a drink.
Say it.
Say what the name of the drink was.
Oh, God.
Say what you want to say.
You know what?
No.
I hit my quota for F-Slur.
That's not even remotely true.
The moment that the cameras are off, you're going to start calling Charlie the F-Slur.
Okay.
He doesn't stop.
It's weird.
But yeah, I've never heard him say it.
No.
It was the.
I've never said it.
I've never heard him say it.
My mic cut out.
Can you bleep that out on the podcast?
Okay, here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Low-key.
We'll get the mic.
We're not even low-key high key.
I told him this already.
If you said the F-slur openly in public like you do in private, you would literally be more gay coded.
There's nothing gayer than dropping the F-bomb.
What do you think, Charlie?
I think it's hard for me to weigh in as like a Florida resident here because there's just so many different factors at play.
True.
A lot of non-gays are seeing the F-slurs.
You got a lot of like extenuating circumstances in Florida for that.
Yeah.
I can't believe I said it on the podcast.
That's awesome.
I'm proud.
No, no, no, no.
We're not believing it.
We're not.
I didn't even hear it.
I've never heard you say it.
Good.
You are such a fake me.
I'll say it.
I'm an ally.
You are such a fake me.
Oh, my God.
I will say it behind the paywall.
Okay, I like that.
Because the second part of that.
That's your reward.
You get to hear slur.
Live.
I like that.
I have something I want to talk about.
Okay, let's hear it.
We've left Charlie in the dark for too long.
Yes.
Sorry, Charlie.
He can't pipe in on the F-slur.
Yeah, this is one that I'm probably not equipped to controversial.
Charlie, you know, you are a Florida resident.
Yes.
But I wasn't sure until I saw you pull out a gun.
Oh, there's the Moby Huge right there.
That's going to be blue.
Yeah, I don't think I don't trust the demonetization.
Am I covering it?
What about that?
Like a ghost.
It's fun.
It just showed up here on its own.
Scary.
It's like R2D2.
But we weren't sure you were a Florida resident until a recent video where you pulled out some very scary guns.
Yes, I have some very scary toys.
Yep.
Oh, my God.
So I...
I thought you were about to pull one out.
I just started blasting.
That is really good.
I'm tucked here in my gym shorts.
It's just, so recently I've kind of gotten into the whole gun scene and like really getting a handle on like firearm safety and all of that.
And a buddy of mine, he builds them and he was like, I've got you, like with some crazy shit.
And I was like, brother, like set me up with that.
Like, it's time this blood gets even redder for the American country.
Like, I want like the top of the line stuff.
So he got me this wild assault rifle that's so fucking crazy.
Is that the one we saw?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You couldn't see it in the video, but the faceplate is actually all custom-etched moist droplets on it.
It's fucking Call of Duty guns.
It is actually super tactical.
It was tasteful.
It wasn't overkill.
It wasn't like, yeah, it wasn't like so kidded that you look ridiculous.
No, what are we talking about?
That was pornographic.
No, I think as far as RFTs goes, like, for sure, it's like that's like saying as far as Moby Huges go, it was quite tasteful.
The reason why I say this is because, like, depending on how far down the gun pipeline you go on YouTube, like, you get to some insane stuff.
And there's a concept.
There's a concept called like tactical for that reason.
Yeah, yeah.
Where like they will put like, you know, they'll put like insane sights on it.
You got the foregrip.
You got like, you know, you got a bump stock or like an expendable, like an extendable, what do you call it?
The, the, the, the bump, basically.
I don't know.
I'm not, I'm not like a big gun guy, but I've seen like some really insane stuff.
And as far as that goes, that was like a tasteful gun.
It was a tasteful gun.
I thought, like, it's classy.
Like, it has charm to it.
It's not like egregious and in your face.
It's like, it's cool, but it's not bragging about it.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's like you act like you've been there.
Like, you, that's what, that's what it told me from what I saw.
Yeah, I'm glad it spoke to you that way.
Yeah, it spoke to me that way.
I do use someone who likes to.
Do you shoot it often?
Well, not often, but because ammo is kind of expensive, but like in general.
Brandon's America, man.
I know.
Are you a Tannerite?
Sleepy Joe.
Oh, Tannerite is pretty fucking awesome.
Yeah, Tannerite's.
Is that fake weapon?
Is that fake gun?
No, that's explosives.
It's explosives that are weirdly enough legal.
I don't know why, but yeah, you can just, you know, you shoot them and they blow up.
I mean, it's for home defense, right?
Is that what you use?
No, not tannery.
Dude, the AR-15 is not even for home defense.
Yeah, someone broke in, so I blew up the front half of my house.
No, they need booby traps or tannery.
I was just thinking, I mean, why else would you need it?
It's not for hunting.
God, it's sick.
No, because it's fun.
It's cool.
Yeah.
Here's the biggest secret, I think, that is not even really a secret.
If you watch any gun YouTubers or anything like that, guns are just fun to shoot.
And that's why people want it.
They want it as a hobby.
They love it.
It becomes like a part of their culture and their identity for some reason in America.
But ultimately, it's because it's fun.
Everyone that says it's for like home defense is, you know, being a little crazy because you know what's for home defense?
A shotgun.
Or if you have a handgun, a handgun.
Like, those are all the pieces.
AR-15 is a huge damage.
I want to, if someone breaks in, I want to go going duck and then just stalk them with a cross.
Will would, like, if someone broke into his house, Will would like tie them up and torture them.
No, I can't say that on the box.
No, don't say that.
Don't say that.
Don't threaten him with a good time.
Yeah, that's why I always say, like, look, I live in a gated community for sure and very safe.
Don't come to my house, please.
Don't do it.
You know, we don't want that.
Yeah, no, we don't.
But yeah, I have katanas.
Like, I'm going to actually go like full Samurai.
I have someone bust in the last thing they do.
Feeling someone with a katana would be so high.
That's so personal, too.
Yeah.
Because they wouldn't instantly die.
You'd have to look at them in the eye and watch the lightweight.
I almost chopped my toe off one time.
Yeah, it's fucking terrifying.
It's like is sharp as fuck.
Home Defense Chaos00:07:09
They are.
I was like doing fruit ninja, which is very dangerous for the record.
Do not.
That is the tannerite of swords.
Yeah.
I had like, I think it was, I think it was literally Sapnap and George last time they were at my house.
They were throwing fruits at me and I was cutting them and I cut one and then I cut it down all the way to the ground and it cut a piece off of my slippers that I was wearing.
Yeah.
It was so close to my toe.
You were there.
I was.
Yeah.
It was so close.
Yeah.
It was so close to my toe.
I luckily survived.
Made me hold a grapefruit in between my butt cheeks.
Yeah.
But, you know, the safety's always off on those bad boys.
You got to remember that.
Unless it's in the sheath.
That's wild.
I can't believe you've never shot a gun.
We got a no, I've shot a gun before.
I shot a sniper rifle.
Oh, okay.
That's pretty cool.
I shot with Hassan.
He's pro Second Amendment.
I don't know if you know that.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, he's pro Second Amendment.
I've heard that.
Big 2A guy, yeah.
Yeah.
I do love guns, but I think that we should definitely have regulation around guns.
I mean, no, he, right to bear arms with no limits.
Yeah, limitless.
I think every American has a God-given right, nay, a responsibility to own an RPG.
Yeah.
In the age of Byructars, or like you can go on fucking Alibaba and get a drone that you'd be using in Ukraine otherwise, like, I think I should be able to defend myself against those drones.
We need rocket-propelled grenades.
I want a gears of war gun with a chainsaw.
Yeah, yeah.
That's something everybody can agree on.
That's tasteful.
That is a tasteful attack.
You hit it right in the middle.
We will have socialized medicine and chainsaw guns.
Yeah, yeah.
100% of America votes for you.
Chainsaw guns would be unironically great because it's so heavy and so stupid that it would literally make it pretty much impossible to do a mass.
And that way, I feel like the oil industry would feel safer about electric cars because they know that you'd need crude to power that chainsaw.
Oh, 100%.
Yeah, straight up.
You've thought of like every angle for this platform, actually.
Yeah.
Charlie, I'm curious about something.
Yeah.
You, I love airplanes.
I used to want to be a pilot.
Okay.
I hear that you don't fly.
I do not.
So I have flown.
I've flown probably like 10 or 11 times and I hate it.
I can't stand it.
You can't stand it.
Is it fear?
Let's unpack this.
It's 9-11.
He's like, he had a principal.
9-11 scarred me for life.
So is this...
How long has this been going?
Are you upset?
Since I was a kid.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's a, I think it's kind of a blend of lack of control and just like the stakes.
So if something goes wrong in a plane, it's not the same thing as a car.
Like it goes catastrophically wrong on a plane.
If it happens like when you're in the air, you're just kind of fucked.
No, no, you're not.
Have you seen that footage of that Nepal plane crash where like just flames everything, everyone's dead?
Yeah, but it's Nepal.
What does that mean?
It's still a plane.
No.
Look.
No, I saw a trap drone.
Well, look, the regulations in some countries are not as intense as the United States, and that's a fact.
Well, I've got a counterpoint.
The Boeing Max.
Do you remember the Boeing Max controversy?
Yeah.
I do.
By the way, he knows everything about what you're about to do.
He will do.
He's got a video on this.
So I might be spawning in the details, but they had a flaw with the Boeing Max where there was a new addition made that wasn't communicated to the pilots because they didn't want to spend the money to train them.
Correct.
They started falling out of the fucking sky.
Correct.
That's terrifying.
They didn't really fall out of the sky per se.
They just plunged into the ground.
You are not helping.
The nomenclature was a little off.
But it was plunged into the ground.
Yes, that's what happened.
Look, you do, there are dangers of flying, but very, it's the safest mode of transportation.
You've heard all this shit before.
You heard every argument against it.
I don't think I'm going to sway you.
One thing that I have.
You conceded so quick.
He just destroyed you by bringing up the max.
Like, that's the easy.
Yeah, but let me comfort you by saying that a lot of those, it's an easy fix and they fixed it.
But even if the, even if MCAS was still there, there's something called stabilizer trim switches that you could just go like that and cut it off and save everybody.
At the time, they didn't know that, which is why it became such a problem, right?
Charlie, as someone who's also afraid of flying.
Oh, you're in the same boat?
Okay, fine.
So I'm in this boat.
I don't really tell this story often, but I was living in Princeton, which is a commuter city for New York.
And my mom was a flight attendant.
She's flying back from, I think, Europe the day of.
And because I was in New Jersey and a lot of like the families worked in Twin Towers, they gathered up all the kids that they thought their parents were like victims.
And they started like immediately like grief counseling.
And I was in this group and I didn't hear from my mom for like a week because she was diverted to Alberta, Canada, I think.
But I, for like a good day, thought my mom was gone until like the details started coming out and stuff.
So after that, I was like, so, and I used to travel all the time.
My mom was a fly attendant.
And I've been dialing my way back.
You got to fly.
So I'm creating exposure therapy.
So I recognize that it's irrational.
Like I know for sure it's not only the same thing.
That's why I can't.
That's why you can't like argue.
It's just such a hard thing to like, a phobia is never going to be rational.
And I recognize flying is a really great trip.
And every time you hit turbulence, I still like butthole clench.
Absolutely.
I also was afraid of flying.
Even when you wanted to be a pilot?
Yes.
It's a control thing.
Oh, I got you.
Because I'm sitting in the back of the plane and I'm not in the cockpit and I can't see the instruments and I can't do that.
To this day, when I'm going through weather or something like that, I will pull up my app and I'll check the altitude and airspeed because I'm like, what's going on?
I like to put something.
I think that would make me more scared.
That'd be a lot more nervous.
No, no, no.
Because no, because what you'll notice when you open up your app and you look at your altitude and airspeed is that you're feeling yourself getting thrashed around, but your speed is not, it's like staying the same and so is your altitude.
It's very much feels more intense than it actually is.
What if the pilot was like, we're going to shift gears here?
We're going to go a little bit slower.
Would you be like, oh, fuck.
No, no.
That is what you do when you're in turbulence is they slow down to soften the and everything that they do to avoid turbulence is for your comfort, not for your, not for safety.
It's all about passenger comfort.
They fly around.
I mean, there's certain things that are weather-wise that are a little bit more dangerous, but they will literally avoid turbulence, slow down, change altitude for passenger comfort, not because it's dangerous in any way, shape, or form.
The amount of beating, and I'm sure you heard this all before, that an airplane can take is insane.
They fly these things into hurricanes, like the eye of hurricanes, to like measure the wind speed in the eye of a hurricane.
And these aren't like commercial jets.
They're like props.
Turbulence and Comfort00:14:25
Well, at a certain point, you just gotta, you gotta monkey deluffy it and smile at death, you know, because the world's too wide.
There's too much to see.
There's still a lot I want to go see, like, especially Japan and everything just looks amazing.
It's just, dude.
It's the, oh my God.
I don't understand.
Okay.
Like, it's embarrassing to admit this, but if you're a weeb, especially, I think like Japan is the greatest place on the planet.
Yeah.
Everything I've ever seen from it or heard from it from people that have been is nothing but glowing reviews.
It is literally like living in an anime.
You will do like normal shit that you would normally do in America and it just seems cool.
You go to the Kambini and it's like, it's sick.
You're going to a 7-Eleven and normally that's like not a fun activity in America.
Do they even have 7-Elevens here?
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah.
What?
Well, 7-Eleven is like mostly, I mean, it's everywhere, but like in certain states, they don't have a lot of 7-Elevens.
Of course they have it here.
I don't know.
I mean, in every state in America, brother, this is a Publix institution.
Okay.
This is a public state for sure.
This is a public state.
Thank you.
You got lots of 7-Elevens.
We have a ton of 7-Elevens, yeah.
It's not rare.
The majority of 7-Elevens, I think, are like literally in California, though.
No, but I see them everywhere.
Texas.
Yeah, they have them.
North Dakota.
Might have them in most places, but I just thought maybe this was Publix only for a second.
We need to get you across this great nation, Hassan.
Brother, I've literally lived in this state.
I've been to like pretty much everywhere in the state.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm very familiar with Florida.
I didn't know that.
I've never been to Tampa, though, for obvious reasons.
What the fuck is there to do here?
We have Bush Gardens.
Hell yeah.
Bush Gardens, Tampa.
We have the Buccaneers.
Beaches.
We have the Lightning.
You also have a baseball team right now.
The Razorbacks.
Yeah, they lost though.
They lost last night.
Unfortunate.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like this is where you come when there's like a corporate retreat.
Like the company, the company wants to give all the sales executives like a weekend and then they send you to Tampa.
I feel like it's the whole city's vibes are around that a little bit.
Well, a lot of it's tourism.
So we have all of these beaches like in Clearwater and St. Pete, and there's a lot of places to stay there.
So a lot of like company retreats always center around that area, which is where a lot of it comes from.
So you're not wrong.
So we're not even in the good part of Tampa, is what you're saying.
We're in the bad part of the day.
You're in like the heart of college Tampa.
Yeah.
So where Creator Clash is being held is where the lightning play.
And in that area, you have University of Tampa, which is where I went to school.
And then you also have USF and another smaller university that all converge in the same general area.
It's pretty fucking cool, though, if you like that atmosphere.
Damn, 31 years old.
I'm good on that.
My content brain, I want, I would love to see you do a moist company retreat.
Oh, Jesus.
You pay for like a Scranton, Pennsylvania's company retreat, but they have to do all the things that you set up for them.
That'd be kind of hype, actually.
Yeah, they're doing like strongman competitions with the dildos.
Yeah, that might be huge.
They're going to have to throw Moby Dick off of the fucking freeze bar.
But you also got to do this content.
That would be pretty cool.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm expressly anti-Tampa so far because you've broken me.
Okay.
Wow.
Your bouginess is like.
Oh, yeah.
I used to, I used to, out of principal, even when I could pay for like more expensive tickets out of principal, I used to never fly first class, business class, none of that shit.
I wouldn't even do Economy Plus.
Okay.
And I'm six foot four.
I'm a big dude.
It's hard.
It's hard for me to fly in general.
Okay.
Now I've gotten to a point where like, you know, there's no, all of the, all the business class or like Economy Plus tickets to Tampa because it's not like super well traveled, I guess, from the rest of the country are not like lie flat seats at all.
No.
Which means you can't fucking sleep on them.
Like it's like almost impossible.
You're like, yep.
You're like squished up.
And they didn't even serve food on the flight.
And I found myself.
What?
He's saying my ear pods suck.
Oh.
I found myself legitimately like upset.
Yeah.
When we went into the flight and, you know, Marge and I are sitting there.
And I asked the flight attendant, I was like, I'm sorry, is there any food on the flight?
And she's like, no.
Yeah.
This is a red eye.
I'm a pretty.
It's a five-hour flight.
What if I die?
Charlie, I'm a pretty.
What if I die?
So I flew in August and I actually had a flu.
Yep.
I went to a Rocket League World Championship team.
The second it took off, I thought I was having a panic attack.
My chest was tightening.
I actually thought it was the end of me.
Yeah.
If you have like a medical emergency, like if you conked out from blood sugar loss or whatever the fuck would happen without eating, you're just done.
You can't do anything.
They have a heart thing on there.
A defibrillator?
Defibrillator.
They have a defibrillator and oxygen.
And all the flight attendants are CPR certified.
I don't know that last time.
Except myself.
You know what?
They're not certified.
Certified and giving me treats because she was very like she brought the snack tray over and I, you know, I took a little bit of time looking through the snacks because I was like, what do I need?
I want to eat some.
I need to eat something.
So did I make you this way?
I feel like you've broken me.
So I'm a pretty reasonable consumer, Charlie.
I just like, I like to get what I pay for.
Don't you agree?
Makes when you pay for something, you pay for a service.
If that service isn't delivered to what they have presented the service as being, you should get your money back.
So I couldn't disagree more.
Really?
Oh my God.
I love this.
I've never in my life ever asked for a refund on anything.
Really?
Nope.
I couldn't do it.
I can't do it either.
I agree with you.
It's traumatic.
Wait, wait, wait.
So do you disagree with the, that you don't deserve it or you just don't can't?
No, like, I get, like, if you pay for something, you'd want it to be like the best it can be or what you're expecting.
But when it's not, I just roll with it.
So when something goes wrong and it's egregious.
Like, in what way?
Oh, man.
I'm trying to think back to an example.
I mean, there's.
Your last example was you didn't get a meal on your first-class flight.
Okay, so I pay for a first-class fight.
Oh, this is already wrong.
To Minneapolis from, and I was going to see the Minnesota Vikings play football.
Right.
And for a three-hour flight, by the way.
It's a three-hour flight.
And I took my friend and a couple of a couple of family members and I flew everybody first class.
And we got on the plane.
Wait, so you refunded multiple tickets.
I'll get this.
We didn't even know that.
So I like that this is the second time we're hearing this story and it's like an onion.
There's so many new layers to it.
So I fly Delta a lot.
And we get on board and the immediate thing, oven's broken.
Shit.
No.
Which means.
Don't look at him like he's going to agree with you guys.
It's a story, right?
Don't you hate that?
That's an outrage.
Oven's broken.
No first class meal.
Now, here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Look, by the way, he got...
No, no, no.
Tell this part, though.
You got that flight specifically because you wanted to get the meal.
You've gotten another flight.
Part of the experience of flying first class is getting served food, I think, on this particular route.
And so I...
What was the meal supposed to be?
It was supposed to be like some sort of, I think it was a quiche.
This is so bougie.
It's unreal.
Oh, my God.
Right?
So we didn't get that.
Nothing hits quite like airplane quiche.
That's the worst part about this is that it's like so dog shit.
Like Delta, especially, the food is so bad.
But look, and I didn't get mad at the flight attendants.
It's not their fault.
Yeah, it's just not their issue.
They were awesome.
We had a great time.
In fact, I ran into one of them in Phoenix like three weeks later.
Hey, man, what's up?
Big Philadelphia Eagles fan.
Side story for another time.
But anyway.
Try me humanized.
So anyway.
I kissed his baby.
It was great.
So anyway, so then I go to corporate and I say, hey, look, with all respect, I need, you know, I paid for this flight.
I understand something went wrong with it.
How many seven first class?
Three.
So you were refunding three tickets.
And I got a refund for all three tickets.
Were they like profusely apologizing to you for it?
Not profusely, but they were just like, sorry, it wasn't a good experience.
He is like a rewards demon.
I'm like the top.
Yeah, here.
Now it's time for me to fucking talk shit.
Okay.
I'm ready for this.
Guess what?
So because he's a rewards demon, I kind of utilize Austin like my, what is it called?
My contracting agent.
Ambassador.
Yeah.
No, but like he books everything for me.
He gets the points off of it.
It's great for him, whatever.
But I also get the.
Yeah, I don't get your point.
I get all of the, like, all the extra benefits of like being like a Halcyon member of like, you know, Delta Marriott.
Is that Halcyon?
Yeah.
Well, no, it's Ambassador.
Yeah, I just, I just made it up.
It's like, but it's like, he's like the 10th Don of fucking Delta and also Marriott in the Marriott franchise.
Right.
They know him.
Yeah.
And because he's such a fucking point demon, a point rat, if you will, okay?
He booked the JW Marriott for us.
Okay.
And there was apparently a much nicer hotel in the same franchise, the edition.
And he literally was like, he was like, well, sorry, I was getting a lot more points at the JW Marriott.
So I booked you at the JW Marriott.
That sounds reasonable.
Honestly, too, right?
I'm like, bro, thank you.
Fuck, put me in the nicest one.
Because it's so expensive because it's like the weekend where Taylor Swift is here.
All this stuff's happening.
So the prices are insane for Swifties have come in.
But Charlie, let me tell you something that he's not telling you.
March pulled up to his hotel at 6 o'clock in the morning.
They were on the same flight and he had to wait how many hours?
Two hours for devastating.
I arranged for Hassan.
He arrived at the same time immediately, six o'clock in the morning, king bed, room ready.
Let me tell you something that they're both not telling you.
Creator Clash got them a free room at the hotel I'm at, and they both opted out of it.
Okay, that's tragic.
Okay, look.
That's true.
This is true.
This is the facts.
Look, I don't want to be disrespectful because I'm very gracious and I am using the room to store my luggage this afternoon.
Taking full advantage of their hospitality.
I'm glad that the room is being put to good use with your luggage.
No, you're not even using their room.
No, I'm using Will's room.
I didn't want Saece.
I didn't want it.
I didn't want you all on the fire.
But respectfully, this was a points trip for me, Charlie.
Yeah, I needed some points.
But you're going to enjoy the fights tonight, right?
I will not be at the fights tonight.
So do you go to places just for points?
Yes.
Yes, sometimes.
He's such a freak.
No, literally.
He's going to Miami tonight instead of staying for the fights.
But I have to be there to film tomorrow.
I would be here for the fights.
No, no, we're at work.
We brought Austin from Miami to here specifically so we could do this podcast.
Oh, fuck you.
That's huge.
Thank you for taking that.
I'm sorry, Charlie.
And we're just like talking.
We're like, hey, you're reacting now to all these people, which is funny.
Because this is usually how we do the podcast.
We always have a guest, but like we just kind of talk.
Yeah.
That's half the fun, though.
Like, that is the point of a podcast.
That's what we do on ours as well.
I think that's the most healthy and natural way of running one.
Yeah.
What's the last big topic you had on your podcast?
Lead us in that conversation.
You talk about cocks a lot.
We do.
Do you have like a nuanced cock topic that we haven't covered yet?
No, not really.
So we haven't talked about masturbatory deeds in a long time.
We've usually been doing fallen off a little bit.
Yeah, we've been doing topical cock stuff.
Do people get sick of that sort of thing?
We kind of did because it's like, how many times can you talk about masturbating in different ways, right?
Before it just gets to a point where it's like, it's the same deal.
Before it's masturbating.
Yeah, before it's just masturbating.
True.
Yeah.
So usually if we're talking about wiener, it's if it's topical at the time.
Okay, what's some topical wiener?
Is there anything like breaking news?
What's going on in the world of cocks, Charlie?
There actually has been one yesterday.
Oh.
A, I think, I can't remember where, but a police dispatcher, 911 dispatcher, was caught sexting seven other officers and confirmed affairs with two of them, and they're facing termination.
Yeah.
And the sext messages leaked.
Why would they get terminated for that?
Just unprofessional.
They're fucking at work.
That's the only thing cops get fired for in America.
Remember the one that was like throwing him back for the whole precinct?
Yeah.
Megan.
Yeah, Megan.
Megan's.
Superstar.
She's a superstar.
Is she a Florida cop?
No, she was a Tennessee cop.
But there's a lot of twists and turns there.
She started claiming they groomed her into it.
Yeah, it gets this particular 911 operator.
Were they sexting on the job?
Yeah.
So a lot of the problem, because they were doing it on duty, apparently.
Yeah, dude, can you imagine?
Responding to a domestic abuse.
Here's a picture of my tits.
By the way, there's a fire downtown.
It's just like, it's just like, yeah, there's a guy.
There's like an overdose.
You're going to an overdose call.
She's like, oh, I want to overdose on your cock right now.
God.
I wish that.
So they have some of the text messages.
I wish it was more like that.
It actually feels like if you've ever read like My Immortal, that fanfic.
Oh, give me some.
So, one of them is, she was talking to one of the officers, but the guy's like a lobotomite.
So, every time she would say something, he just says, every text message is like nine M's.
And they always talk about kissing.
So, she's like, I can't wait to see you later so I can give you some smoochies.
And then she puts my favorite emails.
She puts little fucking like kissing emojis.
Sexy?
That just sounds like someone's in a role.
No, no, that's like when you're like super repressed, like that's the kind of sex thing they do.
Oh, that's so bad.
It goes both ways.
Like, either you're like saying the most freak-like shit, it's like, I want to hang you upside down.
I want a piss on your tip.
It's either like that, or it's like, oh, I can't wait to go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't wait to.
That is a, that is, yeah.
The Tipping Culture Debate00:07:42
I want a piss on your tip.
I'm a humorist.
Yeah, yeah.
He just made that up.
That totally is not something he thinks or says.
I want to see Moby Hughes.
Or something like, you know, oh, I can't wait to give you little kisses, little smooches on the mouth.
You know, it's just, it is what it is.
Was there adultery involved in this?
Yeah, so she cheated on her husband with two of them at least.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know if those were on the job, but it was just so revolting to see the text messages because of just how juvenile they were.
Yeah.
Was she good at her job?
I don't know if she was.
She was a hell of an opera.
Yeah.
You know.
She was a hell of an operator.
Separate the art from the artist, guys.
Come on.
I mean, if she's just, I don't know how you would kill it in that job, but like if someone calls you, I'm going to fucking end it.
Don't end it.
I want to give you smoochies.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's what you mean.
Business and pleasure.
Maybe she can't.
You can't even line.
You can't do it.
I mean, that's an interesting tactic.
It probably wouldn't be super helpful, though, in an emergency.
Like, you probably not want to mix.
She's like, I have a home and I'm having a heart attack.
Don't do that.
I'll suck your car.
It's getting worse.
Okay.
Debate time.
Now that we know what Charlie thinks about not getting refunds, I think this will be a good opportunity for Austin to reveal what he thinks about tipping.
Oh, you a big anti-tipper?
No.
No.
I've changed my.
Okay, so originally I'm like a big tipper.
Okay.
I like to tip specifically my driver in LA that I that frequently drives me around.
I tip him minimum 40%.
That's usually.
Wait.
Other side.
Oh, no.
You've ruined him.
It's over.
You've ruined him.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I know.
So I don't want to say anything.
I tip at least 20% minimum.
But I think tipping is getting out of hand.
I was on a ride yesterday, a Lyft ride.
And in the middle of the ride, I get a alert from the Lyft service that says, Hey, Austin, enjoying your ride?
Show your driver you appreciate them by giving them a tip.
In the middle of the ride.
It's like a threat at that point.
Yeah, it's like we haven't even made it to our destination yet.
And like, we just left the Tampa airport.
Like, I would agree that's a little egregious because you're not there yet.
Yeah.
So did you just stall or did you tip?
No, I didn't tip until the end of the round.
No, he didn't.
He took a screenshot.
He took a screenshot of it and sent it to the group chat and was complaining.
Yeah, but also.
No, but I agree with that.
I think America, and Hassan has changed my perspective on this.
I used to think, oh my God, tip people that don't tip, they're fucking jerks.
But you know who the jerks are?
The employers, the corporate employers that are putting the price of tipping on the consumer because they're not willing to pay their employees a living.
That's the root of the problem.
Yeah.
By not tipping, you're not fighting back against that.
You're just hurting the no, but for the record, I do tip.
Yeah.
And even in Europe, I do tip.
I appreciate it.
It's a minimum 20%, but I do think the system is flawed.
Do you know what I've noticed?
This grinds my gears a little bit.
I don't mind tipping even for like takeout stuff.
Like if I go get a coffee and there's like a tip, you know what I mean?
Like someone made a coffee.
It's okay.
Whatever.
I tip on that for sure.
But I've noticed the amounts, the pre-stocked amounts have been going up.
Have you noticed this?
The pre-stocked amount of what.
You want 10%, 50%, 20%, 25%, 25%.
I've seen some of those motherfuckers go up to 45% now, where it's like 45, 30.
And then if you want to tip a normal human amount, you have to enter it by yourself.
Yeah.
And then you're, but then you're like disrespecting that.
Yeah.
And you're like sitting there.
You make a custom amount that's just below all the averages.
What's your like general guiding philosophy on tipping?
So I always do whatever the maximum allowed is.
So I do a lot of Uber eats because I don't really like maximum allowed?
You can infinitely tip.
Well, no, no, no, no, like up there.
No, no, no.
It says usually it's 15, 25, 35.
That's going up to 45% now.
I've only seen it to 26 here.
That might be a California.
In LA, that goes way higher.
Yeah, that might be a California.
There's all sorts of taxes.
Make no mistake.
Tipping is, tipping should not be, in my opinion, off of jobs performance.
That's the secondary component of tipping culture in America is that like everybody likes to feel like they're making a performance assessment in that process, like while they're being served.
And I think that that's part of the reason why it's also justified to the overwhelming majority of the public is that you get to make this decision in this circumstance.
You're like a little lord.
You know what I mean?
You have your own little surf like serving you.
And I think that is probably the secondary component as to why people don't really push back against it.
But I see tipping as charity.
Like I see it in the same way as charity in the sense that I always max out because I know for a fact that this person who's like serving me in the service sector is a 1 million percent not making enough money and definitely needs the tip more than I do.
Just a hypothetical.
Back to the origin of tipping.
What if the service fucking sucks?
I still do it.
Yeah, it's so hard to just be like, I'm not tipping off that.
That's fucking charity.
I never not tip unless it's like the worst I'll do is like 10% if it's like really crap.
That's why I thought I will still tip, but it'll be less 10.
And on the other end, when the service is like so accepted, my baseline is 20 always.
That's like the default.
20%.
If it's like crazy and like, like, they're just like, we're just having a good time.
I've, you know, I've dropped some pretty big tips on people.
No, I, I always do bad service too, though.
I always max out.
The only time I don't tip is when I can't because like they stole the food.
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
Sometimes bad service in the current day and age isn't just like someone being inattentive at a table.
It's like egregious.
Yeah.
It's like I had someone deliver something three blocks away.
Yeah.
And I had to go walk and get it.
I still tipped.
But I was like, that's yeah, no.
Other than even in a situation like that, even in a situation like that, I still max out.
Because like I said, I think I feel like it's charity.
Like people will get mad at me for this.
Someone who's working in the service sector might see this and like think, well, what the fuck?
No, I think it is.
It literally is the way I approach it is I think it's like a individual charitable donation you're giving to this person.
I remove it entirely from the performance.
So I think you have you been to Europe?
No.
Okay.
So one thing doesn't fly, bro.
Yeah, I don't fly.
Oh, that's true.
Well, I mean, you could take a boat, right?
That's when you sail.
You can see the sepulchre.
The glory.
It's a glory.
The glory of you.
The Queen Mary over to London.
I got to see it with my own two eyes.
So one thing I do think tipping culture does in the United States is I think it breeds better service.
That's what I mean.
That's, dude, even the way it does.
Yeah, but like, dude, think about that.
Unpack that.
That was the most capitalist.
I know.
Unpack that for a second.
You're literally saying like, it's basically a gumpoint at that point.
It's like the threat of like poverty from this meal that like if they don't serve you so well, like they might not actually get paid a decent amount, especially when the actual like low amount that they can get away with like paying you in a restaurant is like, you know, $2.25 in certain states as the baseline.
Orlando Theme Park Talk00:05:28
No, and I think I agree with you on this.
I'm just saying that the product of it is the service in Europe is like, you know, like the UK in particular.
Like you go to a bar or whatever, you just, they don't give a damn.
They don't give it.
You show up and I'm like, I'm going to take my business outside.
They're like, eh, fuck off.
That's what they say.
They don't give a damn.
Fuck off.
You have no leverage as a consumer in other countries, which is why I think American business dominates the globe.
Amen, brother.
I disagree.
It was a very patriotic state.
I would rather have servers make a living wage and be able to survive.
We don't disagree on this point for the record.
And then give me shit service.
I don't give a fuck.
It sucks, but...
We don't disagree.
No, I would disagree on this.
We do disagree on this.
You literally would lose.
You would throw a hissy fit every fucking time.
Like, I'm a huge fan of American business and entrepreneurship, like Disney.
You're a Big Disney guy?
Big Disney.
And they're fighting back against Ron DeSantis.
That's true.
They just had that big blow-up recently between the two of them.
How would you...
Look, I know we're not supposed to.
We don't do politics.
We don't do politics on this podcast.
We don't do politics, but like, why would you piss on the company that literally made your state relevant?
Because it's not real.
It's just theater.
Sorry.
Let's move on.
I don't want to say that.
It's not really.
It's theater.
He makes it seem like he's fighting against Disney because they're woke and gay now.
It's like, when has Disney not been gay, brother?
What are you talking about?
Disney is literally the gayest shit.
Which is, I love Disney.
Do you like Disney?
Disney's all right.
Yeah.
I don't like going to Disney at all, though.
Well, you're like close to Disney.
Yeah, but I've just never really liked it.
I think the parks are just kind of ass.
Really?
Yeah.
Like, it's cool if you're really into it.
You get to see like all the props, but it's just fucking boring.
I agree with you, too.
I agree with you.
He's fucking boring.
Look, are you a Six Flags guys?
I've only been to Six Flags once.
It was cool.
I like Universal, though.
Universal Studios is fucking.
I'm a Six Flags guy.
I couldn't disagree with you more.
Really?
The quality of the park at Disney is far superior, I think.
It's like SpongeBob and Patrick in the Box for Imagination, though.
Like, the fun of Disney is picturing yourself in Disney as opposed to actually being there in person.
Because you're like in the locations.
I will say Universal Orlando is much better than you.
If you go, if you go to Universal, you don't fly.
But if you went to Universal California, you'd see what I mean.
Yeah, maybe Universal there is a big shithole, but here it's pretty fucking...
It is pretty sick.
Orlando Universal is pretty sick.
They have Islands of Adventures.
We get you out to LA.
Yeah, what do we have to do?
I will suck your cock right on the live stream right now.
For the Patreon or whatever.
Yeah, on the paywall.
Yeah, that's definitely enticing now.
He's definitely going to take you off now.
That's pretty good.
Oh, wow.
We get slurs in the big sucking session for the payments.
Why the slurs in between sessions?
Whoa.
I'd be super down to go to LA.
I've been once and I fucking hated it, though.
Yeah.
I think it's a big shithole.
Yeah, you're right.
It's not great.
Sir, you are throwing rocks from Tampa.
Yeah, but the beauty of Tampa is like everything is still accessible in LA.
If you're trying to get from point A to point B, it's going to take you.
Yeah, but that's also because no one's here.
Yeah, which is nice, though.
It's so fucking nice.
Like, it's great.
I mean, though, the beauty of Florida is that like in spite of in spite of it being in Florida and it's probably going to sink in like a couple years.
We got about 20 years by good estimates.
Yeah.
You know, other than that.
The entire state?
Yeah.
Entire state's projected to be underwater by like 2050 or something.
That is insane.
There's parts of the state that are currently underwater due to massive flooding.
They'll build a levee, right?
They'll do something.
They'll sound the entire state.
They'll stop it.
What?
How do you think?
He could be a Republican president.
That was awesome.
We're going to build a levee folks around all the time.
Come on, they built a wall across the entire southern border.
They could build a levee, yeah.
Water benders.
They'll be your way out of the soft ground that this state is built on when it wasn't supposed to be built on soft ground.
Well, look, here's the deal: I think Republicans and people will do anything to avoid state income tax.
What does that have to do with the levies?
They'll build one to avoid California.
Is California going to go underwater?
No, but they've been there with a big earthquake.
This has been the same for the last a thousand years.
What?
It could be any day, though.
It could be any day.
Yeah, that's what they say.
Like, from here until that guy living in Pompeii, who's like, they've been saying this forever.
They have it.
It's dormant.
It's dormant.
He's also the guy in Pompeii who, like, you know, fucking solidified as he was masturbating.
What?
He's like, oh, no, it's not a big deal.
Whatever.
Frozen in time saying the F-word.
One last nut.
Look, I think they should build a levee around Florida.
And I'm going to be, I'm going to run for governor.
Hey, man.
When Ronnie, when Ronnie's going up against Donald, but Republicans need a gay governor.
They need a gay, like, other than what.
What do you mean?
Half of them are gay.
That's true.
It doesn't even stout and proud gay.
Yeah.
You need to be a bigger, a way bigger scumbag.
Like, Ron DeSantis, I can't believe what I'm saying is better than Rick Scott, who is like Voldemort.
I would love to see you as a Republican politician.
You're like, I'm gay.
And so I think that I know that I should never get married.
It's like, yeah, we got to get this gay stuff out of our books.
We got to get this gay shit out of our schools.
We got to get them out.
It's fucking bullshit.
Let's stop with this.
Public Transit Destruction00:02:58
I just don't think I should have the same rights as others.
Okay, you would win.
Dude, are you kidding me?
If you also dropped a couple like Democrats are the real homophobes in there, you know what I mean?
Treating me different, thinking that I need advantages.
That's fine.
You know, treating me different because I'm gay.
He's like, I want New Game Plus difficulty as a game, man.
Let's go back to the good old days.
No, but I'm a registered Democrat and will be for the rest of my life.
Why are you looking at him?
I just want him to know where I stood.
Yeah, I was getting confused on where he stood up until then.
One thing that I do love about Tampa, we got off the plane.
First of all, it's like unnecessarily large of an airport.
I don't know what's going on.
It's a big airport, actually.
Is there that much commerce happening in Tampa?
They went hard on that airport.
They just redesigned all of it.
There's a train service inside of it.
I appreciate that, though, because LAX is a total piece of shit.
You're the worst.
Absolute worst.
When you fly, talk to me.
I'm going to tell you where to go to make sure you don't go through Los Angeles.
The Delta Terminal at LAX is like Ellis Island now.
They have like four seats for like a thousand people.
There's like one restaurant.
It's so bad.
There was like a two-hour line for Jersey mics.
Yeah.
This is the thing about California.
Bet your ass, anytime they have some sort of thing that they're building to improve something, it'll be 10 times worse.
And the duration will make it 100 times worse because the construction is never ending.
They will never ever do anything right.
I am confident that.
Like, what have they done that's like shitty after trying to improve it?
They built LA exit.
LA.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They did this thing where they moved all the Ubers off of a lot in order to take the traffic congestion out of the horseshoe because that's like the airport's built like a horseshoe, right?
You have your arrivals and departures and you drive in and then you go all the way around the horseshoe and then you exit, right?
They took the Uber out of there because of the congestion and somehow it's more congested than it's ever been in history.
Because they also brought it back.
Because if you get Uber black, then you can still avoid that.
And then Uberback will come and pick you up as though it's a private vehicle.
You know what I mean?
No public transportation infrastructure to take you from anywhere in the city to the airport.
No tram to connect you from any of the terminals.
But that's the problem.
Because LA is a car-focused city.
Used to have trams.
And then they bought them and literally destroyed them specifically so the city would have no actual public transit, like no working public transit.
This was a deliberate decision by car manufacturers.
And we are living the impact of that still to this fucking day.
That's why the congestion never goes away.
The only way to get away is the Democrats.
That feels like a terrible spot to live.
I don't know why anyone would choose to be out there though.
Just the weather.
For some reason, just the weather.
The weather.
It's so good.
The weather, the taxes are insane.
It's crippling.
It's like 60% taxes.
Crippling the contract.
I mean, I'm maxed out.
Yeah.
I would like to steer the direction of the conversation elsewhere from our gripes because we have 20 minutes left before we go behind the paywall portion.
And we are here for a reason.
Yep.
Toxic Content Creator Commentary00:11:50
Creator Clash.
Let's talk about it.
Yeah.
So while you talk about it.
Okay.
Yeah.
We came down here for this and he's bailing.
Yeah, I mean, it's a bunch of YouTubers fighting, man.
Like, that's really about the gist of it.
I know a lot of them take it super seriously.
They don't want to get hurt.
You're working it.
Yeah, I'm doing commentary, but I'm just not providing any insight.
Like, I'm not a real sports commentator.
I just say goofy shit.
Yeah.
You don't have any dogs in the fight.
No, I mean, there's people I want to see, but.
Who do you want to see?
So I think the one I'm most excited for is seeing Dad go ballistic.
Dad in the first Creator Clash in case you're not.
Yeah, he was a feral animal.
No one really expected much out of Dad.
I'm going to be honest because he's unassuming.
Yeah.
And he whooped that ass.
No, he went crazy.
He went rodeo.
He actually went crazy.
So I want to see what he does this year.
He's definitely the one I'm most excited for.
Who's he fighting?
I actually can't remember who his opponent is.
Yeah, but they're probably going to need a coffin if he comes out like last year.
Okay, so that's one of your predictions.
That's where you're stone cold locked.
I know whoever he's fighting isn't as psychopathic as he is.
So I feel like he'll probably.
Stone cold lock.
Yeah.
Do you think Andrea Botez is going to win her fight?
No, I don't think so at all.
Really?
No, I don't think so.
So I'm a big Botez fan.
I love Botez.
I'm a bit worried because I know Michelle Caray from BuzzFeed, and she's got that fucking dog in her.
Professional cyclist does professional stunt work.
Right.
Like, she's a gamer.
Yeah.
I just feel like also Andrea Botez is probably not coming out there with like intent to kill.
And you need that.
No, I don't think so.
I don't know about that.
I think she's a killer.
She's way too content-brained.
Like, I don't think she'd come out there like, I want to hurt this person.
I think it's going to be one of the best fights.
I think it's going to be one of the best fights.
That's a sleeper pick.
Okay.
The other one I'm picking is Stone Cold Locke Epic Mealtime.
Harley over the WWE guy.
Harley looks rich.
Yeah, we saw him in the lobby.
He looks insane.
Yeah, no, he's a big guy.
He's got about like six inches on the dude, right?
He does.
He is a much bigger guy than his opponent, but his opponent's a WWE wrestler.
He's also like a dancer, too.
So he's got like great cardio.
Oh my God.
He's a dancer.
Yeah.
He's got that Patrick Swayze.
No, his moves are nuts, too.
I don't know if you've seen him dance, but he does like some crazy breakdance moves all the time.
Is he about to fucking pop into Capo Era?
And that'd be great if he did.
Breakdance fight.
Like Eddie Gordo?
Yeah.
He just starts stunlocking them.
Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week.
Myth.
My horse is coming in.
Who thinks so?
Who's he gonna beat that ass?
Who's he fighting?
Hundar.
You're gonna beat that ass.
The face you made is that.
Look, I don't know.
I'm willing to put a bet on that.
We have the same trainers.
I love myth.
I think it's gonna be a tough fight.
I think it's gonna be a very tough fight.
Hundar is a big boy with experience.
I'm telling you right now, I've known Ali.
I've watched him grow.
And when last I spoke to him, he had bad intentions on his mind.
You can tell when someone's been cum retaining, when they are, when they're pent up, when they're violent, he's packed full of people.
Wait, you think cum retaining is a critical strategy?
I think it helps.
It's so.
I studied exercise physiology.
I don't know if you boys knew this.
If you want to maximize gains, if you edge before working out without coming, it actually improves your gains.
I call that spiking tea.
But what patients teach you that might be an exercise physiology?
It's something I just learned while I was still in college.
Do you do that?
No, I could never.
I don't know how you have that kind of control to like edge and then go work out.
I just colloid I couldn't finish before working out or I'd have no motivation.
Well, yeah, tea levels drop after you ejaculate.
But not even, I just, yeah, that's probably why I wouldn't have any motivation.
Yeah, you need to spike that tea.
Yeah.
I cannot direct.
You need to look at lewd photos on the internet before a bench press.
Yes.
I need to get photos from sexy men.
If a sexy man that I was trying to get after sent me a photo of themselves and said, you need to look like so shredded.
Yeah.
I remember when I realized that was a thing because like my freshman year of college, there was a beautiful girl in the gym and she was like, how many pull-ups can you do?
And I did like 100.
And I was like, the most I've ever done is what the fuck just happened.
His arms kept going.
His body felt like I felt my lats just tearing.
And I was like, keep going.
Did you do anything with her?
No, she no.
No, it's not about that, Austin.
It's about the fucking game.
Sending a message.
Yes.
It's nothing to do with like getting laid, dude.
Have you ever had a situation like that?
Not at all.
I never.
Not at the gym.
He is the most peeled out of all of us.
So maybe let's listen to him.
Shredded.
I saw a picture of you as Jesus Christ in here.
Yes.
Which, by the way, I don't know if we can get the photo on the screen here, but it looks like you could be Mormon Jesus.
Yes.
You could put yourself in a Salt Lake City Mormon church and nobody would even bend.
That's what happened on Facebook.
So on Facebook, the old moms and shit, they used to circulate my picture as like a Jesus thing, like thumbs up if you like Jesus kind of thing.
It was really so awesome.
It was so cute.
A buddy of mine, his grandma, framed my picture without ever knowing it.
Yeah, I was going to say they didn't know you were Jesus.
I'm an idea, man.
Here's an idea for you.
If you ever need an album cover or a picture that you circulate, you build a cruciform out of dicks.
Oh.
Giant cocks.
You've had a lot of dick-related ideas since we got here.
And then you Jesus yourself on the cross on two massive penises.
That's a big idea.
That's a big idea.
That'd be very controversial.
No, but you look so much like Jesus himself.
I think Facebook moms would be a bit of a double-blood.
You don't think Cox would upset Jesus?
Yeah, that might be a little perturbing.
I mean, they elected Trump to the office of the president.
You could convince people of anything.
What would I be convincing them of?
That it's okay to hang on a delicious cross of dicks.
He's fighting.
He died on a cross-filled dick, so homosexuals couldn't have sex with one another.
Yeah.
I don't know.
He's salvaging the dicks for himself.
To stop the gays, he took any of that.
He died of too much.
Never mind.
I'm just canceled.
Other than the Creator Clash, there's one issue that I wanted to talk about.
Sure.
You recently did something that I personally think is a little bit scary.
We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you responded to trolls.
Yeah.
You did it not only once, but twice.
True.
And I have a lot of opinions on this because I used to be like that as well.
I used to give in, and I still do sometimes.
But I think that it's ultimately unproductive because I feel like they benefit more from you giving them legitimacy, especially if they're coming at it from not like the standpoint of constructive criticism, but instead simply to gain clout.
How do you feel about that?
So he knocked and he pointed.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Can you toss me my phone real quick?
Yeah.
Let me just see what time it is.
It is almost four.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I can tackle this and then I'll probably have to head out.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
So the way I look at it is I always give people the benefit of the doubt that where they're coming from is a place of good intentions.
And I feel like at the core, there was a conversation to be had about the topic, regardless of who was opining on it.
So like it wasn't just a troll.
Like I still feel like other people had legitimate criticism of it.
So I wanted to tackle it more from that perspective while also maintaining that I disagreed with certain aspects of the situation.
I understand where you're coming from, but I always view everyone as coming from a place of like actual care, even though I know that's not always going to be it.
Not everyone's genuine.
No, this is literally exactly the same thought process I went through a couple years back.
And then once I realized that it cultivates an audience basically that for the other party and it's been kind of in the space once you open up the floodgates.
I mean, look, hopefully it doesn't, it doesn't end up that way.
But I don't think it was an accident that like shots were fired in your direction almost immediately after the Sneeko thing.
I just always, I don't, I understand that that kind of personality exists.
I just never really believe it till I see it because I just feel like people naturally don't want to foster a community like that.
That's my thought too.
Yeah, I just feel like no one really wants that kind of audience in the first place.
So it wouldn't be like if it happens, it's something they didn't plan on or things got misunderstood or lost in translation.
I think I agree with you.
I do think that some people do want that because they see the short-term benefits and they don't necessarily think about the long-term consequences of having an audience like that.
I've said this to a lot of people who do this kind of content over and over again that like it's not a sustainable business model for you.
If you're a content creator and you're like constantly going after like whoever the whoever you think is like on the downtrend and like pile onto it and, you know, cut commentary, no matter how silly it it might seem, you might actually get like a bunch of haters of that person to come and watch your channel for that brief duration, but your viewpoints are gonna your view counts are gonna drop off immediately afterwards because they're not there for you.
They're they're not necessarily there for your commentary.
They're there to just like shit on the person um, because they don't like them for whatever reason and um, it creates a very toxic space for them.
I don't think that was Charlie's motivation, by any means.
Why?
No, why did you choose to respond?
That's not what I was talking about.
No, I know, I know that's what i'm saying because I, like I said, I think there really was a core discussion to be had on it.
Like I recognized that I also wasn't super clear, so I thought it was maybe a big misunderstanding on the whole situation and things getting tossed around and getting lost.
Now I recognize that that was never really the intention behind it, to have a conversation about it.
But even still, I just never subscribe to the belief that want that for their own personal community, right?
Well, I'm here to tell you that they certainly do.
It's possible.
It's just, I don't know.
I just don't like to believe people enjoyed that because that's just existing in a perpetual shit headspace surrounded by people that you also probably don't even like.
Yeah, no, literally.
I think it is very toxic.
And there are a lot of spaces like that online, especially in like the lol cow side of things where like there's a lot of communities that basically gravitate towards that kind of content because I think we're living in dark times overall.
And I think that the more the more things seem uncertain, the more people's futures look worse and worse, the more they gravitate towards that kind of thing.
It's just another kind of disease of despair.
Whether, you know, some people go to alcohol, some people go to drugs, some people go to gambling, and then others go towards this kind of commentary and content that doesn't really make them feel good, but it at least makes them feel better in comparison to whoever they see on a pedestal that's like being brought down a peg.
It's like this accountability politics, which there is a place for, I think.
And I do think that constructive criticism is an absolute necessity.
I think that's a very good thing.
I just feel like a lot of the people that take advantage of that better nature of content creators end up making it harder for everyone to even have a charitable and constructive conversation.
That was a powerful segment.
That's a good setting.
Especially piggybacking off of wieners.
Yeah, this is what we like to do.
Wrestling Accountability Politics00:03:02
Crucifying.
You really covered everything.
We can go out on a lighter note.
You are a cock expert.
What nickname do you have for your penis?
I've never nicknamed it.
That's my name.
I've also only ever taken one dick pic.
Really?
I was so unbelievably ashamed.
Did you send it to somebody?
I wish I still had it.
It was repulsed.
It was repulsive.
Why was it a he would puke?
Really?
I sent it to my girlfriend at the time, and I didn't know how to take one.
So I was laying in my dorm room bed, and I pulled my pants down, and I took it from.
You went balls up?
Yep.
So I took it from me looking at my head.
So I have a natural curve, right?
So it's like looking up at me like I've got myself a gunpoint in my cup.
It looks like a piece of cheese gun.
It was so bad.
I deleted it.
I didn't send it to her because she would have broke up with me.
I don't think that that's a bad dick pic.
It was awesome.
Austin is greasing you because he wants up.
I don't have it anymore.
Look, balls up.
It's because most gay men take care of themselves.
I like to see little balls up.
It wouldn't change the structure, though.
It looked like a Digimon devolving.
It was a terrible angle for all of you.
Well, you're not a month's time.
I appreciate the anatomy of a man.
I really do.
There was no anatomy to even be seen here.
It was almost like an abstract angle.
Why don't you retake it real quick?
And we'll analyze it behind the paywall.
We'll put it on the paywall.
Yeah, absolutely.
All right, Charlie, you got to go.
Yeah, I do have to head up.
Charlie, thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
I don't know who you are, but what do you want to plug regarding?
Moist Wrestling League.
It's coming out to defeat the WWE, baby.
Can't wait.
When are you going to get me in the ring?
Brother, we were talking about the rest of the day.
I reached out and I heard that crickets.
When did you reach out?
Via Twitter.
That was in the thread.
Respond.
Put me in the ring down.
You could have just DM'd me.
I know, but it's a very...
Can I have a wrestling character overly flamboyant wrestling?
Well, the thing about wrestling is there are no flamboyant characters at all.
Oh, it's hard.
If you know that anything about wrestling, they're all overly flamboyant.
God damn it.
I walked through them.
What was it?
Gold star or something?
Was it not?
Gold dust.
Gold dust.
Yeah.
Gold dust is so fucking hype.
His father is like one of the coolest wrestlers.
He had a song that was, he's just a working man.
And he was like the white guy for the black people.
Wow.
I did not know that.
Honky Tonk, Redneck, boom, ba-ban-a-bana.
He was honky-tonka-donk-a-donk before really?
Oh, yeah.
I love that.
I didn't know anything about Goldust's dad, but Gold Dust was fucking up.
Well, he and Dusty Rhodes, or wait, I think his dad's Dustin Rhodes.
Dustin, yeah.
And then Dusty Rhodes is their dad.
Yeah.
And Dusty Rhodes was like, he was dope.
Charlie, you were a fabulous guest.
Fabulous.
Oh, well, thanks for having me on.
I really enjoyed having you on, truly.
And you made the trip worth it.
I'm going to tell you what.
Since you're leaving tonight, fuck you.
If you would have bombed, it would have sucked.
Yeah.
It would have buried the ball.
I would have stormed out of here and had your points, though.
Gold Dust Family Secrets00:01:09
Yeah, that's true.
I'm going to start the ball later tonight.
And so if you boys are down, we can ball both of them.
Oh, I'm fucking down, baby.
That's why I brought this up.
Loose send dick pics.
Yeah, let's recreate my cocktail.
Once Austin is gone, we can all send dick pieces.
Is your basketball court air-conditioned?
No, it's not sorry.
Okay.
I didn't.
Is it air-conditioned?
No.
Okay.
Oh, I'm going to go to Miami then.
I'll see you guys.
I'll see you.
All right.
That's it for us.
We'll see you behind the paywall.
Peace.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Oh, you twitch card.
And then they're like, we met.
And I was like, oh my God, I was hammered.
And I would rather have them hit me in the face with a shovel than have that interview.
It happens to me all the time.
It's the worst thing when you're just like, when they're like, they clearly know who you are, they clearly have met you before, and you just are blanking out.