Jay Schlatt and his Los Angeles crew host a chaotic "Chuckle Week" charity recording, debating pizza quality while unraveling trust issues over lost phones and underwear. The group dives into wild celebrity gossip, alleging John Mayer engages in "poop play" and claiming Hailey Bieber copied Selena Gomez's tattoos and style amidst Justin Bieber cheating rumors. They further dissect the Angel Reese versus Caitlin Clark basketball rivalry, questioning if Reese's celebratory mimicry constituted racial insensitivity or mere bad sportsmanship before promoting their Patreon and signing off. Ultimately, this unscripted chaos highlights the group's willingness to blend trivial banter with controversial social commentary in their charitable endeavor. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Live With YouTubers00:12:08
We're here.
We're live.
I cursed in the first 30 seconds, so we can't do that.
Obviously, we're here.
We're live.
You guys know how YouTube works.
We have YouTubers with us.
This is one of the most slammed episodes of all time.
We're really pushing the YouTube algo to its maximum limits.
We're tricking out YouTubers today.
That's right.
Ted Nivision.
Come on, man.
What are you doing?
Okay, Ted Niffison.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, in the building.
I brought cookies.
No.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
And they're chocolate chips.
Oh, my Lord.
Do you know something that I have no control over?
I know.
I was not.
Yeah, he was.
He broke it.
Why not just bring some meth?
Well, I can take down all the stuff.
Actually, if she brought meth, we would get skinny.
Yeah.
Instead.
That would be more.
Hey, test, test, test, test.
Hey, I'm Ted.
What's up?
Okay.
Yeah, if she brought meth, that would actually be better.
We also have our full cast here.
The full cast.
Cutie Cinderella, Austin Show, Will Neff.
He's got the cowboy hat on.
They just arrived from Austin.
Okay.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
We're never going to have to.
Anyway, I'm just going to keep doing the intro the entire time.
Last but not least, last but not least, we also have Jay Schlatt in the building.
That's right.
You're the only person on the planet that calls me Jay Schlatt.
What am I supposed to call you?
So true.
It's like formal.
Like he's just learning about it.
It's like calling Jay Jay Schlatt.
It's like using usted in Spanish instead of yeah, Jay Schlatt.
Well, I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
I took eight years of Spanish.
Really?
My God.
Well, do you want to speak a little bit for us?
No.
Hassan, is this all I get?
I get a mic that I have to do.
My fault.
There's Marjorie.
I actually saw two seats and I saw the microphone here and I sat here before you could figure out what was going on.
He did do that.
What the fuck are you guys doing?
I mean, I know he lives out here.
We ball sometimes, even though he's like sometimes we balled one time and then he stopped coming.
He balled once and I stopped coming because your personal trainer's made fun of belly fat.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
I'm joking, but no, what did they say?
Didn't they call you the milkman?
No, what they said.
What did they say?
I don't know, but everyone's taking their shirts off.
And I took my shirt up too.
And they all pointed me and they said, ha They did not.
They did not.
Like nice.
And he gave them each $100.
Oh, that part's real.
I'm eating this here.
And I feel like, man.
You guys are like professional podcasters, though.
What's funny?
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, no, they're not.
I suppose it depends on, like, yes, we do make money from this, but are we good at it?
Really?
You don't think you're good at it?
I think I'm good.
I could talk forever.
Well, yeah, but he's also a liar.
That's true.
You would talk forever, actually.
Most people who talk a lot are liars.
Holy shit.
God, I am a liar.
Well, we're in a room full of people who like to talk a lot.
I am.
I'm a first order of business.
What are you guys doing?
What are you doing out here?
Oh, we're doing a cheeky little chuckle week.
Oh, no.
Well, we didn't get the invite this time, so.
Well, I mean, what happened?
Well, we just had Will on recently.
I'm actually going on.
I'm going on too.
Yeah, so no, we.
Do you want, okay?
We can, I mean, it's.
Wait, It's mainly a problem with you.
What was that?
Well, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize this was...
Oh, my bad.
Hey, I'm not the only one that breaks.
See, it's the mic.
Okay, I gotta explain this.
Okay.
Go ahead.
There's a certain amount of room that we have during a chuckle week.
Most of that is based upon how much stamina the individuals have.
You should introduce what a chuckle week is first.
If you don't know what a chuckle week is, it's essentially not a single weekend the time of the people watching it, but it's a week for us.
So it's a bit of a backwards way to name it, but since we're not in the same location, we comes out to LA.
We film a bunch of podcasts in the week.
We don't need to worry about recording podcasts for like three months.
Three a day.
Yeah.
Well, we've been doing it.
We've been kind of like an average of two days this week.
But this is the third today.
That is true.
And tomorrow there'll be a third for me.
This is charity, though.
And we're not making any money out of this.
So you asked every single...
Yeah.
It's a problem.
We actually, do you guys want to like unionize?
We're in a lawsuit right now.
It would be ironic if he did not allow us to unionize.
So we're unionizing on this side of the table.
Yeah.
Hassan is smart.
He does what every socialist does.
He allows me to be the ruthless capitalist that just destroys everybody's life.
And then he hides behind a veil of ambiguity that he doesn't know what's going on.
So shut up and keep working for free, you fucking piss ants.
Damn.
It's bad that he said that, but I'm in support.
We got a system.
We got a system.
I want clarity on.
So every single person in this room is on the Chuckle Week Chuckle podcast.
No, I was just on it recently.
Well, you know, he's coming on a source march.
So you're actually the only one that's not going to be on Chuckle Weekend.
That's because of the way you treated me at that basketball court.
Okay, to be fair, I was going to say something about this.
I called him Portley Ted.
Yeah, he called me Portley Ted and he smacked my ass.
I didn't do any of those things because I'm also fat.
But what I was going to vibe with you on was that there are some people out there that when they take their shirts off, it does feel like they're bullying you, even if they don't say anything.
And my two trainers are like...
I'm trying to commiserate with you without you agreeing for me.
So what I'm detecting here right now is that you're saying that I was insecure when your personal trainers took their shirts off and I am now inventing some scenario that didn't actually happen, to which I say erroneous, okay?
Did that actually happen?
No.
I'm going to be honest, if I took my shirt off and somebody said I was bullying.
I did take my shirt off though, and there was a moment.
Well, it's because they're like...
But I didn't actually take offense from it because, you know, I'm not in the best shape.
They're so shredded, though, that it is offensive.
When they take their shirt off, it's like kind of fucked up.
Yeah.
If you said I was bullying you by me taking my shirt off, I'd be like, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.
Yeah.
I mean, you have a great body.
You have a great body, but these guys are.
They're on a different playing field, body-wise, I would say.
And this is kind of what they do.
And when you showed up for that basketball little pickup game, they were like, oh, yeah, we just surfed this morning at 6 a.m.
And then we like, I don't know, carried goats on our back up a mound.
They were like, they did like five things before they showed up.
And it was like 11 a.m.
Yeah, no, they're freaks for sure.
But that's why they look the way they do.
They're pieces of shit for that, honestly.
And I'm sorry.
I say that's the kind of people you surround yourself.
I say as I eyeball my third cookie that I'm probably going to scarf down.
Honestly, really good.
Thank you, Cinderella.
These weeks.
Taking my suggestion from last week.
Chocolate chip cookies.
What would you like to do?
Is this your way of taking credit for something she did just now?
I'm thinking next week, I'm thinking maybe some buttered croissants.
No, I don't want to make croissants.
Maybe some with chocolate in the middle.
The croissants take like two days.
What?
Yeah.
That's ridiculous.
The laminated dough.
What are you going to do?
Cancel big croissant?
How about some, I don't know, like some like a cheese Danish.
Still made with goods, made with paste, like croissant dough, essentially.
How about donuts?
Okay, I'll bring donuts.
Thank you.
You don't have to do that.
You should make doughnuts.
You should make those peanut butter cookies.
I'm just going to buy those.
Those are my favorite.
Cyclops cookies.
That makes them sound evil.
That's what they are.
I have a question.
When did the podcast double in cast members?
Because we've only known losing members.
Yeah.
That is true.
That is true.
When you have a successful podcast that everyone wants to be a part of, it's just like it kind of works that way.
No.
Well, I'm just going to dagger you going forward because you guys did not invite me to your newest rendition of Chuckle.
Did you discover in your motions through the analytics that tacking on multiple combo animals?
They needed me.
I would like to make that clear.
That's the best way to title your podcast.
I think March is going to be the guy that has to answer for that.
Wait, is that what we do?
Have you looked at the channel?
No, I just look at the views.
So it's like the titles are like Hassan talks allegations of him jerking off capitalist in Times Square.
Cutie Cinderella rebukes something.
I don't know.
I don't know.
When did we talk about you and me in Times Square?
I don't know, but that seems like a good title.
Oh, you were.
Okay.
He was making that up, but that is what that is something that happened.
It was sort of just an estimated guess.
There is one thing I want to say.
Before you guys came over, you told Austin who booked you guys.
I just want to give him props.
He did a booking.
It was a hostage situation.
Yeah.
Look, it was a little unfair the way I framed it because I'm going on Chuckle Sandwich tomorrow.
Yeah.
And I was like, hey, I got a great idea.
Why don't you and Schlatt come on Fear and the night before?
Right.
Which wasn't completely fair in hindsight.
Because you really couldn't say no.
Because if you do, then you look like assholes.
But I didn't frame it that way for the record.
Yeah, there really was no scenario in which we could have asked you to come on our podcast and then just immediately after said no.
Oh, that's so awesome.
That's what he does, though.
But also, you're such a good one.
But in my defense, I gave you an out.
I said, don't, by no means am I framing this as a hostage situation.
Which is what was incredible because then it allowed me to then come on this podcast and frame it as a hostage situation.
Yeah, it was not a hostage situation.
It does, should be fair.
It does seem like a hostage situation, but I'm on board with it.
You are a legend for that.
You're on board with hostage situations?
Yes, 100%.
Austin called me at Clifford.
That's going in the title.
I called him at mid a.m. 2 a.m.
Yeah.
Crack of ass.
I was staying awake for 24 hours to try and be up for my flight at 3 a.m.
Yeah.
And he goes, hey, Schlatt, you always know I need something when I hope I didn't get you at a wrong time.
He was nervous.
Heard you were coming to LA soon, you know?
Sorry, I'm in Austin right now.
Sorry, I didn't make any attempt to help you.
Get this new podcast I just joined.
So I'm leaving your hometown to show up in the other place that you're not normally.
Well, look, and I was supposed to, what was it?
No, I called Ted first.
Yeah, we were on the Ted.
I was like, I'm going to call Schlatt.
Ted is more agreeable.
So you were like.
Because I wasn't sure because Chuckle's weeks in the past, you know, there have been times where you've just been sleeping on a couch in the Game Grumps office.
So I wasn't sure what your level of stamina would be.
So I didn't want to assume that you would be down to come on the podcast.
I wasn't sure if you're going to be like conked.
That was a good partnership.
So when you called, I was like, okay, well, we get ass.
And then you were like.
I was kind of trying to get you to ask him.
Yeah, but then so then you were like, oh, should I call him or something?
I'm like, oh, I'm not sure if it's going to be too late or something.
I was like, just calm.
Pizza Outside Tri-State00:08:47
Just calm.
Yeah.
All right.
I was like, I was like, you were like so nervous.
I was so nervous.
You were scared.
Schlatt scares me.
Of this little 23-year-old.
He scares me.
Is he 23?
Yeah.
Schlatt scares me.
He's a youthful boy.
The first time I found out both of you guys were like in your early 20s, it hurt me.
Oh, yeah.
I'm halfway through now.
I'm 25.
Yeah, you do.
That's when you start expanding.
Physically?
Ladies out there, turn 25, your hips just two inches from definitely felt the hips.
Yeah.
Ladies.
Well, I'll say this.
You guys had demands.
I don't know if you're even aware of this, but Austin presented it like it was a demand.
He was like, these guys are hungry.
They want pizza.
They want cheese pizza.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot to say.
Oh, you asked them?
So he says, I literally called them.
You guys want anything?
And we're like, no, let me be honest.
This dude just yells out pizza.
We're in.
I'm revealing my secrets here, but I called you wondering when you were going to arrive, but I had to call presenting an offer.
That's so funny.
Right?
Like, I couldn't just be like, hey, when are you guys going to show up?
I got to be like, hey, guys, you hungry?
Smart.
Right?
Austin, Austin, everything you...
You know, everything you've done and said, I'm so on board with.
Enter into situations offering up things you were never obligated to offer up.
Yes, but it's nice.
It's courteous.
Because I always feel like I must offer things because why else would anybody do anything for me?
Well, the reason why I'm mentioning this, however, the reason why I'm mentioning this is because I did order pizza.
Now, you said that like it was such a big reveal.
No, no.
So here's the deal, guys.
Pizza's on its way and you're going to eat it.
No.
The reason why I'm saying this is because we're both from the East Coast, Schlatt specifically, New York.
Do you need someone to jerk off in New York, by the way?
What?
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Next time I'm there.
Listen, have you had good pizza in Texas?
Yes.
There's a place called Saccones.
Yeah.
That's the only good spot I've found, though.
I mean, pizza is like...
Pizza is dog shit outside of the tri-state area for the most part.
That's pretty much.
That's a ludicrous.
Have you guys ever had dogs?
Are you going to defend deep dish right now?
Is that what you're going to say?
No, but Connecticut is outside the tri-state.
It's close enough.
Oh, my God.
Connecticut is tri-state.
There's nothing.
That's close.
I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter.
Tri-meaning.
It doesn't matter.
Free-state.
Connecticut is... New Jersey.
Pennsylvania.
Connecticut.
Connected is more tri-state area than Pennsylvania.
Yes, thank you.
No, Pennsylvania is literally Pennsylvania in so many parts.
Have Pennsylvania's trying to escape and become a part of Ohio.
Connecticut is literally just like a precinct of New York.
This is blaspheme.
It's not.
It's funny because you'll say, oh, there's no good pizza outside of the Tri-State area.
And then any other person will be like, oh, have you tried?
I don't know.
Domino is pretty good over here.
Oh, yeah.
Or some chain.
Like, that is the best they've got.
Yeah.
Like Papa John's, too.
Why?
Papa John's.
The reason why I'm mentioning this, the reason why I'm like a big deal.
Sorry, Ted, is because the place that I ordered from actually LA Y is like probably the closest I've ever gotten to The tri-state pizza.
So, I want you guys to taste it, and I want you to do like a bar stool style.
Like, oh, one bite only.
What's it called?
Uh, I don't want to, I want to gatekeep it.
Is it called Apollonia?
No, that's Applebee's.
Fuck it.
I'll say it.
We'll bleep it.
We'll be dumbass.
It's called Chopa John.
I forgot.
Yeah.
When I think of pizza in LA, I'm like, oh, Applebee's.
They've got that.
Plus, they have like the little bits.
There is a really good pizza place called Apollonias.
And the way I found it is through that bar stool guy being oh, really?
Yeah.
He actually is good, I think.
It's actually where I went there with Nick, Nick from the yard.
Oh, and Nick Fuentes.
I don't know why.
I went there with Nick.
Nick Fuentes.
And have weird hours?
And that's when you know that you're dealing with something good.
So my greatest point of pride, Port Noah, went to Conte's Pizza, which was my pizza place growing up.
When did you become Princeton?
If he didn't deliver, I'm going to lose my delivery might have gotten stolen.
You think?
Drama?
That's amazing.
Oh, speaking of delivery.
I was in, I was in Austin and I uber eats.
I got high somehow in the state of Texas.
I don't know.
You shouldn't tell people that.
What are they going to do?
Bleep that out.
I got high on legal.
That's it.
That's it.
I got high on Benadryl, which is.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I was so sleepy.
Whatever.
I was sleepy.
It wasn't Benadryl, but it was marijuana.
But bleep that out.
Is marijuana antihistory?
But I smoked it all.
What are you going to do?
Anyway, I ordered Uber Eats to the wrong hotel.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
One fucking pie, Hassan?
Yeah, one pie.
One.
I have book club after this.
I'm not eating.
Yeah, I'm not going to eat either.
But listen.
Book club?
Yeah.
Listen.
Legitimately.
I need to say something.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Hey, bleep that out.
One of the most important things.
One of the most fucking insane things of all time just happened.
No, listen.
You want to know why it's like this?
I don't want to fucking show the outside of my house, but the motherfucker put the pizza sideways.
Jesus.
He left it.
I got a photo.
I'll show it to you.
I took a fucking photo of it.
The Joker just delivered this pizza.
Bro, he had a pizza.
First of all, look how threatening and menacing this photo is.
He said, and here.
This is how he left it.
He took a photo of the pizza in his hand, like this.
Delivery photo.
So that's his delivery photo.
Like a frisbee at you.
Which immediately was like terrifying.
So I ran outside because I was like, this motherfucker is going to, you know, yoink this pizza.
And then this is how he left the pizza.
Whoa, that's madness.
That's not like at all.
That is a 90-degree hoop.
That's insane.
It's actually fully sideways.
No, he left the fucking pizza like next to the door like this, sideways.
All right.
Anyway, you want a live review of this?
That's not.
I would overhold that.
Hold on.
Why not?
Can we just address this right now?
You just, she, okay.
She says you're not going to have it, but she is.
You just looked at us doing the fold technique and she said, you guys are holding that funny.
Wait, you.
Wait, what did you, what do you, what do you, you're kidding, right?
I floppy bird it.
Like a like spaghetti.
But acting like you've never seen a folder pizza.
I don't fold it like that.
I've seen a okay.
I already been into it.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't wait.
You've never seen a folder.
I don't think so.
No, I'm scared.
I have.
That's like saying someone's never seen a stop sign.
Well, it was enough for me to like see them hold it and it looked weird.
There's something wrong here.
What do you think?
It looks like LA water.
No, it doesn't.
What do you think?
After one bite, what's your immediate take?
I'm getting a little bit of a pizza party going on here.
It's good.
You can immediately notice it's better than Domino's or like Papa John's or anything.
This is the closest you can get in Los Angeles to like actual fucking regular $1 slices.
I think the lacking part is the dough and the crust.
The crust isn't quite there.
It's not as thick as you'd want it to be.
It's undercooked.
Yeah, it's not cooked.
Thoroughly.
I mean, they don't have access to the same water.
Yeah.
Here's the thing, too.
I'm a bit saying bagels delicious over there.
And here's the thing, too.
I'm a bit of a sucker for...
And this isn't even really something for New York or anything.
I'm just a sucker for a brick oven pizza.
Oh, yeah.
Have you guys ever had Dasanos in LA?
I think I've heard you talk about this.
Disanos goes crazy.
And also, a lot of the time when you've got a brick oven pizza, or maybe I'm just in general, sometimes they put these little beads under the dough.
Yeah, I hate those.
You know what those little guys are?
And they like get all...
I don't know what I'm talking about here, but whatever it is.
It's not powder.
What is it?
Fucking...
It's something.
Talking about cornmeal?
Flour.
It's flour.
It's cornmeal.
Oh, is it?
I'll also say that after a couple minutes of having a piece of pizza folded like this in New York, it's going to be dripping grease down that crease.
And this is the thing.
The grease factor is lacking here.
Is that good to you?
Well, it's a throat lubricant.
Fake Phone Numbers00:06:20
I don't like...
Oh.
Yeah.
I think you might know a thing or two about that.
I never thought of that as being a thing that I would do before, sucking.
Like eating a pizza.
I wonder if that's a game changer.
Greasy ass pizza and then suck a dick.
Oh, yeah.
Slides right down.
Ted, you ever sucked a dick before?
I have not.
Oh, consider it.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, it could be a good method.
I was just at Valkyrie's house and I showered there.
And by the time I got to my car, I lost my underwear.
What?
Yeah, I didn't want to talk about it.
Wait, what do you mean?
How did you lose your underwear?
You left your underwear?
I lost my underwear somewhere at Valkyrie's house.
Did you let Ray know?
How did you walk out and discover it?
It'll show you.
Cutie.
You cannot leave women's underwear in anyone's house without them getting into a conspiracy theory.
This is going to be crazy.
Some kind of affair is happening somewhere.
Which actually leads me to a maddle, by the way.
What?
That Schlatt did at my apartment where this motherfucker left his second phone in between the seats of my couch.
And then Shay finds it.
She's like, and I'm like, I have no fucking clue.
She's communicating completely blank slate phone, by the way.
There's nothing on this show.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
She got a whole battery.
The only person that was at my place before that was like, and I'm, and I had been texting Schlatt, so I know that he had his phone.
And the only person who had been there before was the cleaners.
And I texted them, and they still have their phone.
So there's this ghost phone with no exit burner.
Did she think it was like an affair phone or something?
It was her home phone.
I think it was very clear that it was like, it had to be.
Eventually, it had to be Schlatt's phone because he, you know, first time I got the guy's number, it was from a fucking like fake number that was set up through Google.
Yeah, that's what I used to do, too.
Yeah.
Every streamer had my Google Player.
I gave him a fake number too.
Oh, yeah.
He gave me, he gave me, both of us, a burner number that he would use for his sluts.
I gave Ludwig a burner number.
No, literally.
I had Austin Show and Austin Show real phone in my phone for like years.
Yeah, still.
You have just a pure like debauchery debauchery phone?
No, he does.
He is Austin Show.
Look, if I meet you and I'm not sure you, I don't know.
Listen, I love a good schlut, but I don't have a phone.
I feel like, no, I have a number for people that I don't fully trust yet.
Which is an insane thing.
No, it's not.
It's really tough.
It's really tough when it's clearly like it's not an iPhone.
So when I give them people my number on my iPhone, they're very confused when it's green text.
Yeah.
When Lud and I first met, well, not first met, this was a while.
Like we'd been talking for a while.
And I gave him my phone number.
I felt like such a dick because I was like, do you want my phone number?
And he got up and he ran to grab a pen to write it down.
And he was like so excited.
And then I was like giving him my fake phone number.
I felt like such a dick.
Really?
Where you gave him a fake phone number?
Not a fake number, just like my not real number because I like didn't trust him yet.
Yep.
I give people my burner number all the time.
All the time.
Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot, I guess.
I just like fucking burner numbers here.
This is for me.
Yeah, what the fuck's going on?
I just like use my normal phone number.
You're not burner burner.
You're not an idiot.
See, what you should do as a normal functioning human is tell the person not comfortable enough enough with you to give you my phone number.
No, I would never, I would never be able to do that.
I would never be able to do that.
So you would rather give them a fake phone number.
No, that's why.
No, that's why I give them my real phone number.
You ignore their messages.
No.
Not well adjusted.
No.
Look, no.
It's a working number.
He's never even seen a pizza fold, man.
What are we talking about?
It's a working number.
He just prefers deception over being honest.
No, my point is, I wouldn't get a fucking fake phone number to give people.
Look, for the record, my fake phone number works.
I just don't know.
I don't think anyone was questioning.
I've got five iPhone with care plans across the gamut.
Do I have your main number?
You've got my main.
Oh, thank you.
I don't have your number.
I think I know you.
How long did I know you before you gave me your real number?
I don't know.
I think you were really confrontational about it.
And then I was like, fine.
Well, because when I went to voicemail, people were like, Google phone, not real number.
Here's your thing.
The Google subscriber that you've become.
Yeah, it was like, I was speaking to like some network AI or something.
But it's funny when you use a Google phone number because you like can't use emojis.
You have to make sure not to use emojis.
And you also can't send pictures the same.
They come up differently.
Yep.
I did all this research.
It like it just is weird.
It sounds like weird characters.
I've gotten nudes on my burner phone and they don't show up.
So I have to react to something that I can't see.
You're like, oh, that's so.
Wait, I can't.
Instead of telling them that you didn't get the photo, you would guess and go, that's a great sack.
No.
No, I'll just do this.
I'll do this.
He's like, this is a photo of my cat.
No, no, no.
I'll do that.
I'll do the red, sweating tongue thing.
There's no photos.
You're my grandmother.
But usually you know a cocker or something's coming.
I don't know.
It's just.
Well, how I mean, there is cocksense tingling.
Usually you get a little context beforehand, right?
You receive some nudes, but you know when it's coming.
You know when it's coming, right?
Cock coming.
No, but like every guy, I mean, every guy I've ever spoken to before they send the picture their cock, they're like, warning.
Right.
That's what I usually said to you when I sent you pictures of my phone.
A lot of people are like, are you okay with this?
Yeah.
I just want to know before I send it.
Most men typically approach, right?
I'll tell you what.
Most men do not do that.
You want to check my Instagram DMs right now?
We can find a big cock.
Well, if you're speaking, like, yeah, but I'm different.
I'm famous.
Oh, I wish I got famous and desirable.
I just get straight asshole pictures.
Oh, wow.
It's because they know you're a fucking selfish top, so they go straight to the point.
I've never gotten an asshole picture.
Burger Sauce Debate00:03:12
Hey, Hassan.
What's up?
You had this whole spiel about New York pizza.
This is the closest you can get.
Eat the crust?
Yeah, it's not good.
Oh, it's not good enough.
No, it's not.
So the New York pizza.
No.
I admit that.
I'm saying that, like, this is as good as it gets.
Bitch, you should.
You wanted something even worse than that?
It was good.
It's like edible at least.
Be happy that it's not like, I didn't get you fucking like pineapple barbecue chicken shit that they sell.
I think it's basil.
Oh, that's just basil.
I thought it was like, I was about to, I was getting, I was hoping that this was like spinach and not basil.
This is like critique it, but then it ended up being basil.
Why'd you want a cheese pizza?
Like, no, no pepperoni?
He was like, I want a little bit of pepperoni.
No.
And this dude is like, I just want tea.
No.
I'm going to show you.
When you get a burger at a restaurant, that's not what we're talking about.
He's agreeable.
No, I'm just, I'm into it.
I'm on board.
Where do you think agreeable?
Yeah, yeah.
If you want pizza with sauce, bread, dough, or whatever, and then the cheese, this is the purest form of the pizza.
That's true.
The way a cheeseburger would just be the bun, the patty, and the cheese.
You put pleasantries on top of it when the base and the main thing is not good enough.
Hold up.
You fucking.
Oh, we've had this conversation.
I disagree.
I didn't.
We have this conversation on your fucking podcast where you, like you, have an.
That's an insane take.
No, it's not.
I agree with what you're saying about cheese pizza.
If you want to understand like, whether or not the basics, the bare bones, like the actual fundamentals, are right there and they're sound, you got to go with a cheese pizza.
I agree with a cheeseburger.
On the other hand, that's fucking bananas dog.
You don't put like patty cheese ketchup.
That's crazy.
Okay, you've lost me on an entirely inaccurate statement.
You got to go.
You got to go.
Patty cheese lettuce, tomato.
Okay no, you're all wrong.
A little mayo on the bottom bun, oh yeah oh, thank you.
Beef patty, beef patty.
If you're doing it and if you're doing a cheeseburger slice of cheese, you get your lettuce, your tomato and maybe a little bit of a little bit of mayo.
Honestly, I don't think.
I don't no onion thing.
I don't think any burger.
I'm eating Ted's burger, like you need a condiment involved, man.
I mean ketchup is all right, but let's be honest, ketchup's ship has sailed.
Yeah, in most contexts.
Yep listen unless, of course, ketchup becomes a little bit more agreeable with me if you put a little bit of mayo in it and turn it into like a burger sauce.
That looks like, yep yep, the vogue burger right now is a smash.
That's more of a chicken sauce, i'd argue.
Smash burger mayo is called fry sauce.
No, kitchen chicken sauce is like, so versatile poultry is so versatile you put not because so many different kinds of sauce on it, that is 100.
A burger sauce is a fancy sauce.
You, you use it for fries and you use it for burgers, which is, you know fries are consumed on the side.
I just think when you start loading up a burger you've got something to hide.
You know that's crazy.
No no, I don't think that's on chuckle sandwich.
Do we get sandwiches?
No, you get to say what part of the sandwich you are, which has honestly expanded way further than since when we guys had you two originally on.
Host Drama Explained00:08:35
It's expanded to like, no, I wouldn't know, because i'm not invited back on the podcast because I guess I was a shit guest.
Can somebody busy from 10 a.m to 9 p.m.
So if you could squeeze him in.
So if you want, If you want to come on in a context that is on our schedule and not us working around, I like your boundaries then maybe, maybe we'll let you on, but if you know you're gonna be sitting and watching, was I asked if you're gonna be sitting and watching our videos on your stream.
You don't want me watching your video.
You can watch, Daniel.
What was that?
I brought up Port Noise pizza reviews look up Joe and Pat's Pizzeria review on Staten Island I don't know if you watch videos on this podcast, but it's a funny as fuck Oh, we will today let's watch it behind the paywall What do you think?
You know I like that by the way until you made that post from um the streaming awards where it was like all the people I watched I didn't actually know that you watched my videos on your streams I've watched I think one video of yours.
I don't I no like I don't say yes dude.
No, I don't watch I don't watch that many record straight I don't watch like on stream.
I watch your videos I watch your videos in general.
I don't actually watch any of the dudes that I took a photo with for the most part.
No, no, no.
I love those guys.
I love those guys, but I don't really I don't usually watch woundering I don't usually watch essay videos like Blood and I tucked in on the bed bag and forgotten I've just been choosing at one point landed on me and then I was just like I'm wearing all black.
Oh shit.
What have you watched stop looking at me while you're biting and the crumbs are falling on you?
Well I don't want to get patriarchy and it was a good time.
I'm sorry.
Were you speaking to me and then I was totally ignoring him?
No one let us I want to go.
It's okay.
There's one in Ontario California.
Well I don't want to go with you now.
Yeah, he's a big meanie.
Hey Ted, can you come to my defense right now?
What do you wait who's who's co-host?
That's what I want to know.
Yeah, who's who?
We are co-host of each other.
Okay.
Very healthy.
That's how that works.
We're all co-hosts.
When you say you're my co-host, that means you're in charge.
Right?
No?
What?
Well, if you're speaking about yourself, then the other person would be your co-host.
As in, like, you are both hosts.
We're both in charge.
Yeah.
We are each other's co-hosts.
Yeah.
I feel like there needs to be a different word for like a main host.
What?
My additional host?
No, my partner.
My side.
My partner.
There is no main host.
On this podcast, there is no main host.
We're all co-hosts of one story.
No, I think they're the three main, and I'm the co-host.
How do you split the revenue?
Evenly.
Between those three.
Okay, that's not true.
Oh, my God.
I swear to God, I'm going to.
One of the best parts about this is that they're joking, but also people will still take it seriously, and then I'll get fucking canceled.
No, but they're not.
They're joke.
You take the people.
They're not even serious on Twitter.
They're having fun on Twitter.
They are going to firebomb my house after this.
I'll be honest.
I follow just the funny Twitter members of Haas Twitter.
Okay.
No, Haas Twitter won't.
He's never Haas Twitter that fucking canceled me.
He's never my fans that cancel me.
He's like random people that will take a snippet of a clip of someone being sarcastic and be like, clearly this guy's enslaving Cutie Cinderella and Austin Show, a woman and a gay man.
Because he hates both of those demographics.
He did.
It's part of our contract.
We can't bring that up.
That's true.
Very true.
Are you a bit of a slut while you're in town?
Are you getting tricked out down podcast lane?
Okay.
Going up and down, hollering at the boys.
I'm a slut on podcasts.
That's what I said.
And you were offended when I called you a slut.
Which podcast are you appearing on?
I'm being whored out on Chuckle Sandwich, Fear, and is that what this is called?
Yes, okay.
And then the yard.
It's weird that you knew that one so well and you struggled with ours so much.
Yeah.
Well, this is a new one, you know?
Yeah.
This is man.
We're doing better numbers than the yard, I think.
So cutie, I'm not kidding you.
We could do a 10 million view episode and you would still be like, we're not doing as well.
We're not doing as well as the yard.
The yard has 30,000 patrons and they we had one better episode than them.
You're going to call that.
Is this what you'll take you streamer folk do among you?
You just compare each other.
I'll be honest.
It doesn't matter what the fuck we talk about.
If you guys are in the header, we're going to do half a dozen.
Let's just be quiet for the rest of that sentence.
Yeah.
Kissing.
You guys kiss for some of the drama.
No, we actually don't like each other once the cameras come off.
Yeah, it was really weird.
They were yelling at each other when they first came in.
Interesting revelation.
We'll record on Discord and then right when the cameras go off, we're like, so like, you want a game?
And then this is a question I ask him.
And then I'm like, yeah, I'd love to, but I'm busy now, so I got to go.
But let's do it next time.
And it never happens.
Really sad.
It's bumming me out.
Whoa.
Dude, why don't you ask him the game again?
And the other one that left us now.
Sad.
I find it.
This is a little bit going.
33% failure so far.
Yeah.
It's a 33% failure so far.
And this one is airing out the fact that our relationship is falling apart.
Thank you for that, by the way.
Oh my God.
We are so putting that in the fucking on the title.
Yeah, you just made the title.
There's your thumbnail.
This is how they make YouTube millions, dude.
This is how it works.
Fuck, what was I going to say?
Oh, yeah.
Well, at least you, you know, you get to get seen for a week.
That's something.
That's true.
I love Chuck a week.
Listen, you could be the type of person that says you could be the type of person that says, like, hey, loved playing basketball with you.
Can't wait to do it again.
And then can't wait to do it with you again.
And then literally avoid me like the fucking plague.
You say that as if you've been reaching out.
I did when I stopped.
Hassan does this thing.
I did.
I used to reach out and then I stopped.
Hassan?
Because you didn't come last time I asked you.
Yeah, it was one thing and I was busy.
Yeah.
And then this is so awkward.
That's a microphone.
I would hate you.
You're a devious little character, aren't you?
You seem to get joy out of you're like kind of like there's something teetering along like about to go down a hill and you're like keep going.
I'm like rolling down the hill.
Is this some kind of like Stockholm thing?
Because you've been given the shitty microphone and you seem perfectly happy with this.
And then I'm obviously like, they should have been given something.
I was going to take the other shitty one, but they don't trust me with it.
Yeah, we can't trust them with this.
I think as a woman, I'm used to dealing with less and accepting it.
I mean, you can give him this microphone.
I can give you this microphone and I'll use that one.
It's like 70% of the rest of the other microphones.
He gets it.
You get it now.
You can shove it up your ass if you want to.
We did this because we.
What the fuck?
We did this because we hate women.
And actually, this is probably a really good opportunity to bring this up now that we talked about how we hate women.
It's time for our women hour.
Women hour.
Please, Cutie Cinderella.
Please, Cutie Cinderella, enlighten us about what's going on in the latest and greatest in the land of women, Haley Bieber and Selena Gomez.
Do you guys know the Haley Bieber and Selena Gomez?
Take it over.
What does the family know?
Shay gave me a little bit of info on the topic.
I understand thus far is that it's on one side in Selena Gomez, and then on the other side you got Haley Bieber and Kylie Jenner and they're like a little little they're, they're doing their thing and they're like oh, we don't like Gomez.
And Selena Gomez is like, oh guys, please help me, my fans, but I would never.
I no, she didn't on to do.
I heard Haley Bieber, I, you're a pig.
What you, what are you screaming about?
Blue Raspberry Milk00:04:06
I said you're a pig.
I heard Haley Bieber was Selena Gomez.
No, interesting.
So that's, how are you not even remotely involved in the fucking GOSS?
I hear you are the worst gay man in America.
I only know, I only know Selena Gomez from that show on Disney.
Yeah, she did good.
She did good on that yeah, so what's the drama?
So here's the tea.
Uh marsh, if you'll pull up, start.
So let's give a powerpoint, let me give.
No, we have.
We have tick tocks is what we have, it's just a little more.
We don't have a powerpoint, we have tick tocks.
Um however, there's something that you should know.
Is this all started because all this stuff got brought up and there's some closure.
Now they follow each other again.
Apparently it's fine.
Oh, spoiler alert.
I know, I know, but I just need you to go.
We're not witch hunting.
Skip this.
This is not a witch hunting podcast.
I'm just filling everyone in on the gossip.
Um, so this all happened because you know what?
Let's just push start, just do the start one.
I guess I said also okay um, because that's how my brain works.
Uh, quick question there I saw multiple three minute tick tocks.
Well, I know we won't watch all of them, I just mostly needed them as reminders, so i'll probably play them.
And then what's going on?
This is important.
We're gonna watch this one.
It's a minute.
It's a minute.
Is that titty milk?
No, give me a dip.
Give me a dip oh, sorry.
Yes, it is titty milk, i'm sorry, give it to me.
What is this?
Is this the caffeine one or is this the?
Is this the one without the caffeinated one, that the non-caff one has this cool black and white design?
That's not very cool, the black and white design.
I like caffeine.
It's.
It's manga expensive, I like.
I like the color.
One more and i'm gonna.
What is this?
How much?
How many calories is this in the one?
That scoop will be about a hundred milligrams of all natural caffeine has on.
That's a lot.
Oh snort, it's gonna start getting the shakes after that.
Thank you like a champ.
Get better at this.
If you put it in water uh I, I made them put like some kind of extract in it.
No idea what the fuck it is.
They have some material, material in here that makes it cloudy when it's in water.
So it looks like, is that the mercury?
It could be the mercury.
Is this healthy, i'm told.
Ground things.
How could you be doing this?
What will happen is the end of the lie.
Why are there there's no oh, there's women on here, but it's male titty milk.
Oh wow, I don't know if you know this, but Jay Schlatt is a man.
It's.
The water is supposed to turn into like a cum, like sub subsistency, it.
It looks like you're drinking cum and that's the joke.
I love it.
But I said to gamer sups, um, I said like hey, would it be too far if we called this flavor cum?
And they said, don't dump it in there, there's not enough.
But titty milk was fine.
How many ounces?
Yeah, titty milk is fine because you can still push the envelope, but if you start with cum, where are you gonna go after that?
We're talking 33, 33.
Okay, then that's four scoops, so you could wait.
I just had literally one entire oh dude, am I gonna die?
Yeah, I would don't drink this.
Wait, just for advertisement purposes.
I will.
I will tell you how i'm ex, how i'm feeling Yeah, I'll fill you in on how I feel.
All right.
As time progresses.
Do you have like some catchphrase?
Do you have some catchphrase that you say before like you shake it up?
No.
I'm so hot.
And it's not the titty milk.
I thought I'd slow down and make it seem like it's too much.
It's very sexual when you never slow.
Wow, that is.
It's white with a little bit of yellow in it.
Yeah, that's not very appetizing.
Justin Bieber Rumors00:14:22
If I like it.
I don't like cream-flavored stuff.
It's not cream.
It's not flavored.
It's cum flavored.
It's blue raspberry.
Oh, how confusing for me.
With a little bit of...
I assumed it would taste like titty milk.
No.
Why do you know what titty milk tastes like?
Well, I know what milk tastes like, and I assume they're of the same...
This will taste like blue raspberry mostly with a little bit of...
That is so interesting to me.
If you think about it, when you're like a...
Well, this is redundant.
When you're a kid, you're worried.
You're worrying me right now.
When you're a kid, you know, blue raspberry is like the best flavor ever, especially in slushies and stuff.
So I imagine that to a baby, a newborn, titty milk is kind of like the blue raspberry of flavors for them.
And that's our demographic.
Babies.
We love getting kids on copious amounts of caffeine.
I already have some.
I'm handing this back to you.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, well, now that we avoid it.
Yeah, now that we destroyed the women's hour.
So I just, we just need this.
This minute is important, and this is the most important thing required for real focus.
Wait, is Taylor Allison...
Who's Taylor Allison Swift?
That is Taylor Swift.
Also, we need to talk about John Mayer a little bit.
Apparently, he's into poop.
He is into poop play.
Are we sure about that?
How do you feel about poop?
I don't really dabble.
I'm not surprised that John Mayer is into that, though.
Really?
What about his way he looks?
He looks like a poop guy.
Yeah, he asked his girlfriend to poop on a glass table while he laid underneath it.
A lot of red herrings.
As the number one John Mayer defender until Cutie Cinderella allows me a ticket to the Taylor Swift box, I am going to say that's not true.
Oh, it's true.
I will defend.
Jason was my friend.
Yeah, I saw him.
He pooped on me.
No, you pooped on him.
He liked the poop.
Wait, what?
He likes the poop.
Oh.
Yeah, but I didn't like.
Yeah, he pooped on me, but I didn't like it.
What?
I did not like when he pooped on me.
John Mayer likes the poop.
He wants you to poop on him.
Yeah, but you didn't want it.
So you are my friend that he.
We pooped on each other, okay?
Okay, I don't agree with you.
You know what?
That story sounded rock solid to me.
We pooped on each other, and it was great.
Wait, what?
Now you like?
No, I didn't like it.
So when he commands a balanced diet, you know.
When he famously sung Clads of Sulfur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere.
Yes.
In Heartbreak Warfare.
He was talking about him and I. Did he sing that song, Your Body is a Wonderland?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he was describing my intestines.
Yeah.
Play the video.
I want to move away from the subject as quickly as possible.
So wait, wait, wait.
Question before this starts, though.
So was Kaylee Bieber, Selena Gomez, or Kylie Jenner pooping on John Mayer?
Was that...
None of the people that are involved in this pooped on John Mayer.
Maybe Katie Perry.
And also, and also, Judy Cinderella is a known liar when it comes to John Mayer-related information.
In general, she's a pathological liar.
Him and I both.
She is a Swifty.
She's got a dog in this fight.
Master manipulators and pathological liars.
Yes.
Do not believe a word that comes out of her mouth about John Mayer.
John Mayer is a legend, an icon, and one of the world's greatest guitarists.
So let's continue with this.
Sing a full-on war amongst the girlies, and it's bigger than just Selena.
It seemingly started after Selena Gomez was photographed.
What a devious photo of Selena Girls.
I can't hear move it back.
It all started.
No, I can fill you in.
Oh, damn it.
Play it.
Oh.
Dial in.
Everyone, focus.
It seemingly started after Selena Gomez was photographed by the paparazzi wearing a bathing suit.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
She looks great.
Hailey Bieber, though, posts a TikTok Kendall, essentially saying she deserves it.
God's timing is always right.
You know that sound clip.
She takes it down, insisting it has nothing to do with Selena.
Pause it.
Selena responds to fans saying.
Did it have something to do with Selena?
Yeah.
Wait, why would that have something to do with Selena?
Wait.
Okay, you have to remember.
Wait, Straggit.
Oh my God.
I got to go make a jump.
Do you hear me?
Fill me in later.
Make a what?
Oh, he's taking a shit.
John Mayer wants to be pooped out.
He wants to be pooped out.
Oh, my God.
I got it.
Are we cutting this part out?
My life is falling apart.
Okay.
No, no, we don't.
We don't cut anything except for all the things.
Except for Jay Schlatt's real physical address.
Nivision.
I mean, going J Schlat.
I mean, that's correct.
But it's too correct.
You're hyper-fixated on this specific thing.
And it's like, it makes sense to only you for a particular reason.
No, there's no reason.
It's just like, I'm very bad with names, so I overemphasize.
I don't believe that.
No, it's stuck in my head.
That's why I always say cutie Cinderella.
It's stuck in my head now as like what your name is.
So now when I say Ted Nivision, he just calls me.
See, I'm saying it right now, right?
No, that was magnificent.
Honestly, it was even worse than the original problem.
It was like you're like, you're changing the emphasis.
It's becoming like a French name, like Nivision.
Nivijion.
Nivision.
I'm sorry.
It's so bad.
I know.
It's like if I called you Hassan Abi.
Whatever.
I don't want to give you Hasan Abi.
Hashanabi?
Hasanabi.
When I meet his fans in public, I usually say, Are you a Hasanabi head?
And they're like, Yes.
I'm a bad guy.
Pay attention to my channel.
Yeah, we need to go back to here about it.
This is a podcast filled with misogyny, filled to the brim.
Typical thing.
Okay.
She's not worried.
She's unbothered.
She's so unbothered.
Fast forward to this week, and Selena surpasses Kylie Jenner and is now the most followed woman on Instagram.
Thank God.
Because you're going to learn why.
You're going to learn why.
No, there's no reason why that would be important.
There's reason.
It's like for the news max or something.
Read this.
Okay.
Now, Share, she overlaminated her brows.
It was just playful, right?
Whatever.
Not long after, Kylie Jenner posts this screenshot to her story.
Making fun of her again.
Her and Haley Bieber showing each other their brows in an obvious attempt to mock Selena.
It's giving very much mean girl behavior.
Is that it's three against one?
Okay.
Oh.
I mean, when you frame it like this, it's a bit on the nose.
Okay, no.
Yes, it is a bit on the nose.
But rewind.
2000.
No, no, no, no, not you.
Mentally.
Rewind to what 2000?
2016.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What the fuck?
We are time traveling back.
What is this?
A reservoir dogs?
What the fuck's going on?
We're in 2016.
That might not be the right year.
Well, you got to be like, you're probably wondering how I got here.
But anyway, so Justin and Haley are like back and forth all the time.
Put the fucking phone down.
Pay attention to me.
Yes.
Justin and Haley are back and forth, right?
They have their pretty toxic relationship.
And then...
Is this when they went to buy crack?
No.
Do you know about that?
No.
You don't know about Justin Bieber and allegedly Selena Gomez buying crack cocaine.
A lot of talking over women.
Yeah, but if they like it, if they like it, they can do it.
Misogyny podcast.
Wait, what?
Did you just say?
Why makes them happy?
They can do it.
Why would we stop them?
Okay.
That's fair.
Taking away happiness.
Number one.
Anyway, so they're on like a break.
And Kylie and Kendall swoop in and they're like, they're like, hey, girlie, let's go to Dubai.
And Selena's like, okay, they want to be my friend.
They take him to Dubai.
Meanwhile, Haley Baldwin sneaks on in and starts hooking up with Justin.
They took her out.
Before Bieber was Baldwin.
Rewind even further.
Haley Baldwin is like 10 years old.
She's the biggest Justin Stan in the world.
She has magazines of him.
She'd find out through fan accounts what hotels he was staying at and she'd go and hover.
That's fine.
And she'd bring her uncle and introduce herself.
What is this?
Okay, counterpoint.
Let's say you have an opportunity.
He'll go with Taylor Swift.
Do you take it?
No.
I would hook that.
That was Taylor Swift.
Listen.
For a pathological liar, you're very bad at lying on this.
Sean, I would hook up with Taylor Swift.
Okay, congratulations.
We're talking to the stan here.
I know, but I'm not attracted to women most of the time.
Well, yes, of course I would, but she's taking it further, right?
Like, by hovering, I would never hover.
I would never stalk Taylor.
It kind of seems like it kind of seems like Haley Baldwin at the time took the initiative and succeeded.
You like a that's no, I don't.
That's why.
I'm just trying to be contrarian.
That's my thought.
You can't be sorry.
No, I don't care about Haley Baldwin.
The whole situation feels like it very much so diminishes Justin Bieber's agency in this entire situation.
Oh, we men's rights.
Let's go.
We don't care about him.
So is he, he is simply a no, we don't like him.
Ted, he's rich and white.
Get over it.
We don't like Ted.
We don't like Ted or Justin Bieber.
We don't.
He's rich, white, and a man, okay?
It's like the trifecta.
Anyway, fuck.
So she was a big fan, would hover, hover, hover.
Just like you, Ted.
And then, yeah, she's just a creepy, stocky girl.
But then, but then all of these years, Selena moves on.
Are you guys paying attention?
What did I just say?
I'm honestly paying like I am locked.
I'm lasered in on this.
Thank you.
I'm talking to Ted.
Selena moves on, right?
She's doing her own thing.
She has her own business.
Meanwhile, Haley Bieber gets married to Justin, right?
And she gets little secret, like she matching tattoos with Selena.
Selena has a J behind her ear for her little sister.
And then all of a sudden, Haley gets a little J tattooed on her.
And Selena starts a cooking show, and it's about her life.
And then, and it was during COVID and it was in her kitchen.
And she was like, this is my home.
This is my kitchen.
And then Haley Bieber also starts a cooking show.
Wow.
Yeah.
So the last piece of evidence that is important for you to watch is I need you to go to underneath where I put samples.
Why would she feel like she needs to continue to compete with Selena if she's already got it?
What do you mean?
Because she will never.
She will here, I can fill in on this one.
Cutie, Judy, review.
No, not that one.
Cutie, review my analysis of the situation, please.
Uh-huh.
And see if I'm an ally to women in general.
Uh-huh.
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez had something that was real.
It was stolen from them by these two harlots.
I mean, Justin was a problem.
He like cheated on it.
Justin's a bad guy.
Justin's a bad guy.
He's a bad guy.
But he's, yeah, all men are traps.
All men are traps.
Selena wouldn't be with him anyway for the record.
It's just weird that Haley is like obsessed with Selena, even though like Selena's like not interested.
She's fine.
Okay, so I was wrong.
I was so wrong.
Justin cheated on her.
Yeah, Justin was awful.
He was like, he's like 17.
He is an awful 17-year-old.
Yeah, but that's like, I don't, I don't, I don't agree.
No, because he like, he like still cheats on Haley.
Does he really?
How do you know that?
He said he was in a concert.
He was at a concert in like Australia or New Zealand or something.
And there's like...
Really?
Yeah, there's videos of him like...
This is prefrontal dunk cooking.
How old is he?
I don't know how old he is.
This is recent.
This is like within the past few years.
Wait, how do you know this?
TikTok sees everything.
Fuck.
Okay, watch this.
Yeah, TikTok has never unhinged creatively.
This is only 24 seconds.
Okay.
Haley Bieber.
This is my real house.
Everything that we're doing is at home.
This is my amazing kitchen, which is the set.
Yes, we actually are in my real kitchen in my real house.
This is not a set.
This is where I really live.
This is my pop-up.
Hi, JJ.
This is my nanny roof.
This is planetary cut when you're in the middle.
Ow.
What is her problem?
So Selena did this first.
There's multiple instances where Haley copied Selena's responses to interviews.
She's copied her outfits.
She's copied her tattoos.
All sorts of weird stuff.
This is the type map something really quickly, though.
Yes.
Devil's advocate.
Have you ever heard of a cold read?
Nope.
It's where it's a term that applies to psychics, right?
If you come into me and I say I'm a psychic, I can go, ah, yes, you're dealing with some trauma in your life.
And you go, oh my God.
Well, now I know you're lying.
But so this idea is that you can say general things about people and they can relate to it.
I think the same is true with entertainment right now.
We all do very general shit, right?
We're all doing don't laugh, don't lose.
We're all making the same faces.
Do the thumbnail face, Ted.
There you go.
Why?
Because we don't really have any talent.
Now, Selena can sing.
I don't think Haley has any talent.
But when it comes to that world outside of singing, I'm sure that a producer is trying to put them in very similar things.
So two cooking shows in an era when everyone is making a cooking show and generic media trend responses to interviews.
You could probably cut anyone's interview and get some pretty similar then.
Why did Haley Bieber copy Selena's tattoo in the same location?
Well, that's a very popular location for a tattoo.
That's true.
Same letter, the same font, the same location.
Caitlin Clark Controversy00:12:39
Listen, this is just Davil's advocate.
I don't believe these things.
I don't believe these things.
Normally, one part of my brain says Will is actually...
You want the rest of it?
No, just the last one.
The cookies were fantastic, by the way.
The cookies were incredible.
The logical part of my brain says what Will is saying is absolutely correct.
But given that I need to appear as an ally here, I'm going to go ahead and say he's a selfish pig.
I said devil's advocate.
This is for the sake of conversation.
Even the fact that someone's got to take the reins on this podcast.
Even the fact that you would think those thoughts is unimaginable.
When you play the devil's advocate, that does mean that you are communing with the devil.
You're an advocate for misogyny.
You fucking pick up the power.
I do like that.
I do like that.
Sold me up the river, huh?
I do like that we have become just like Basically hostages to the most unhinged people on the internet.
Sorry, that like I feel right now.
Well, I'm fucking around.
I only gave you something.
This is good drama.
Continuing women's hour, there's something I'd like to speak about.
Something that just happened.
A Warshack test for the entire.
Can you find my underwear somewhere?
Yes.
No.
I'm talking about LSU versus Iowa.
Women's March Madness, folks.
Now, usually we don't talk about women's March madness, but this March Madness, this women's March Madness has drawn the eyes of the entire country because there are some phenomenal athletes, two of which, Angel Reese on LSU, Caitlin Clark on Iowa.
Now, this game, highest rated.
The ticket sales through the roof.
The finals.
LSU beats Iowa.
The end, Angel Reese does Caitlin Clark's iconic John Cena celebration.
But she does it for 15 seconds.
So you have Caitlin Clark's iconic celebration, John Cena Don't See Me, which she does like this.
Angel Reese does the same thing, but she tracks her down and does it for 15 seconds.
Now, it's become an issue of race.
Some people think that Angel Reese's Don't See Me was tasteless because of the length of how long she did it and that she did it at the end of the game and that she tracked Caitlin Clark down.
I'm assuming is Caitlin Clark white?
Caitlin Clark is white.
It is Iowa.
It is Iowa.
So now we have a Warshack test.
The entire nation sounding off on Twitter right now as we speak.
Was Angel Reese tasteless?
Can we see?
Was she emulating the celebration?
I think she was being a gamer.
I don't think she's a girl.
That's just like you were just on the toilet and you were on Twitter.
No, I've been following this since I was on the plane.
Yeah, I watched him.
He was yelling on the plane.
I thought this was like...
There it is, ladies and gentlemen.
Divert your eye attention.
I have the reins now.
I'm turning this back into a podcast.
Ah, here you go.
Now let's see.
She points to the finger.
That's her celebration, which is dank.
I love that celebration.
What is that supposed to mean?
Championship ring on my finger.
That's it?
I know.
That's not it.
So that is truncated.
I think the total time of her following Caitlin Clark was said to be around 15 seconds.
Who said this was a race thing?
Everybody loves it.
I don't understand what would race have to do.
Okay, because people, America loves Caitlin Clark right now.
Caitlin Clark.
She's white?
Yes.
Caitlin Clark arguably is at this point the greatest college basketball player, greatest women's college basketball player in history.
Pause, pause, pause, pause.
Caitlin Clark set the three-point record, scoring record for NCAA and assist record in this tournament.
Okay.
So she's like America's sweetheart right now.
Their celebration.
Angel Reese is like another fantastic record.
It's so cringe to steal your celebration from John Cena, but that's fine.
What's wrong with John Cena?
It's just weird to steal someone else's thing.
Who did the first three?
Who did the first thing?
John Cena did John Cena.
She's in this situation.
Caitlin Clark.
I assume Caitlin Clark used to do it all the time.
People, the difference is Caitlin Clark did it as she was passing her bench once.
Angel Reese, if you watch the tape, found Caitlin Clark after the game.
She's doing it to rub it in her face.
And she had won the game.
Now, we'll time it.
15 seconds.
Did she win the final?
Three, four, five.
Did she win the final?
Six.
Did she win the final?
Seven.
Did she win?
Eight.
She won?
So then you're just throwing it back in her face.
I don't see any.
See, that's a lot of people's take.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of people's take, too.
15 seconds is a long time, but I think it's better than punching her in the face because she's punching someone in the face is nothing like talking trash.
Well, I know this is better than getting mad, but she won.
I think that there's also like I mean, she's just a bad winner.
There's a certain level of consideration that needs to be given to just sportsman-like conduct.
I think that's like a valid sort of thing.
But she was doing Caitlin Clark's own thing back to her.
I still don't think she has to do with this.
As in, like, as in, like, you know, you can celebrate your win.
But to be fair, Caitlin Clark had the most points in NCAA history, had 30 points in this game.
Who cares?
She still lost all.
And outscored Angel Reese.
I'm just giving you all the information.
Yeah, I think it's ridiculous, but also incredibly expected that people would turn this into like a much bigger issue because people can't.
Speaking of David Portnoy, won't bite everybody knows rules.
His tweet after this game was Angel Reese, total tasteless piece of shit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I love the idea of like Dave Portnoy, who like, you know, is just like not a very tasteful person in general, being the arbiter of what is classy and what's not classy.
Like the guy who does the pizza reviews for Barstool or who owns Barstool.
I think Ashley or Angel Reese was being a bit mother.
What's that mean?
She's slang.
It's when women do stuff that you would consider to be unkind, but like the gays and other women go, it's awesome.
She has taunted Angel Reese that same way.
And now Angela.
She didn't.
No.
Oh.
It still doesn't matter.
I think it's classless and tasteless, and she should be ashamed of herself.
Oh, I don't think it's that bad.
I think it's ridiculous.
These are like fucking young ass athletes.
Like, who cares?
Yeah.
Hey, no.
Before I get attacked, I don't care.
Yeah.
But, but, like, if she does that, who cares?
It's a sport.
It's fun.
Well, can I give my take?
What?
My take is I'm just happy for women's basketball.
Me too.
This is because I'm happy to see everybody talking about women's basketball.
I don't think anybody should detract from Angel Reese or LSU's victory.
It was incredible.
I think Angel Reese's.
The refs were a little rough.
The refs were a little rough.
We'll give it that.
But it's interesting that this has become such a worshipped test for the nation.
Is this different than this?
It's interesting that you say that.
Well, I think that Angel Reese is a phenomenal athlete and what she did was incredible.
I think it's just a little, you know, sometimes you're a bad winner and you get a little salty.
Yeah.
And throw it back in their face.
Whatever.
Sometimes you're a bad person.
Yes.
Would you expand upon the race aspect of this?
The race aspect of it.
Okay.
So a lot of people are asserting that the only reason that people on the internet had issues with Angel Reese's taunt was that she was a black athlete.
Oh.
And Caitlin Clark was a white athlete.
Oh, when you're saying it's the second spent.
I thought it was a, because I thought it was like the reverse, like she was doing it because she didn't understand it all the way.
No, so that's that's like the racial.
Oh, that's lame.
And I'm going to be honest, a lot of people on Twitter, what they're saying, it's very racial.
Really?
Oh, yes.
That's like.
Well, then fuck those people.
There you go.
I feel like that's something that's been seen by other sports, too.
Because there was like this whole thing where there was this guy in track who was like a white dude that was setting records or whatever in like the 100 meter deck.
His name was Oscar Pistorius.
Blade Runner.
And there was like this whole thing where they were like calling him like white lightning and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Oh, that's okay.
That's weird.
Oh, no.
And like, I don't know.
I think that, like when there's like a situation where someone who is like white is doing like better in one, in a, like a sport or something that there are a lot of representation of, like like black Americans doing well in, when that, when there's people who can latch on to that one individual person, they get like weirdly, like in a racial way, like defensive of that person and so like.
With the white lightning they're just like, oh, this guy can like run and that's like like evidence of something.
Yeah.
I think in a similar way with the we're bringing the Watts back.
Well, in a similar way in a big way.
Like, oh, they're probably being a little bit over defensive of this Caitlin woman because they're like, oh, she's good at basketball.
Yeah.
Like, this is our person.
And I think you hit the nail on the head.
That's the most fascinating part is that this is this is just athletes playing basketball.
I don't even, I doubt Caitlin Clark even has an issue with I mean, she's probably a little salty.
Well, should we?
But she doesn't want like famous figures going to the internet calling her competitor a piece of shit.
No.
She definitely didn't call for this.
So ultimately, this becomes like a sounding board for so many things outside of basketball and athletics.
And that's kind of fascinating.
Yeah, it is interesting how a lot of times in sports and just like entertainment worlds in general, a lot of like moments that are otherwise probably not thought about too deeply are like co-opted by just voices online.
Weird race perverts.
Excuse me.
I will say this though.
The one thing I liken it to.
I just didn't hear what you said.
So I was saying race pervert.
The one thing I liken it to, just devil's advocate.
15 seconds, right?
I liken it to a car horn.
One second of a car horn.
I go, hey, asshole.
15 seconds of a car and horn.
I go, I might get out of my car and try and kill that person.
You would too.
Yes.
Have you done that before?
Now, this is not the same thing.
This is not the same thing.
That's an idiot.
I like that.
The people who aren't terrible racists in this matter, do they have a point?
Is 15 seconds of facing too long?
I mean, she was being a sore winner, but who cares?
It's tough to confess.
Hassan, you could not be more disinterested with this topic.
No, because you gave that entire statement through a sigh.
Why?
Because I think that women's basketball for how much longer?
No, whoa.
Because, no, I think the way that people in general, this includes women as well, treat women's basketball is so fucked up where like, the only time they ever want to talk about it is if there's like additional qualifiers that make it more interesting for them.
They were talking about this game before.
Yeah no, this is this, I know, I know, which is why I think it's like it.
It tarnishes an otherwise like I do not and what i'm.
My point is, I don't even watch men's basketball all that much really.
I don't watch a lot of sports.
I watch anime, listen.
My point is this, this is like a unique moment.
It's historic.
A lot of people are watching, a lot of people are entertained, a lot of people are interested.
That moment, The winning team, this person behaves like a sore winner.
Who cares?
In the grand scheme of things, ultimately, the event should not be overshadowed by this other thing, but it doesn't matter because most people don't give a shit about the original event or its significance on its own.
So they have to make it about a secondary thing always, especially as it pertains to women's.
And that's why it became such a Warshaw team.
Yeah.
Because ultimately, there is no correct length for celebration.
And celebration is just good for athletics.
I think they, like, I go back and I watch documentaries about the you, and I miss the era where you could just fucking go off in the ends.
Feeding Dictators Show00:03:31
I agree with that.
Yeah.
I'm talking about line dancing.
I'm talking about spikes.
I'm talking about pulling out a cell phone, calling your nana, and letting her know you just won the national title game.
Who would you call if you won a national title game, Schlatt?
Grandma.
What?
You're giving me nothing, kid.
Are we talking about Oscar Pistorius?
Yeah.
Is that anybody called White Lightning?
Yeah, that's the thing.
They called him Blader.
Oh, Blader.
Yeah.
He was a killer on the show.
What are you trying to say?
And off to.
I have to go to book club.
Anyway, on that note, speaking of killing content, QT has to leave.
I have to go to book club.
I told them ahead of time that I told you guys a week in advance.
I know.
This is why we don't pay her.
Yeah.
Well, also because she's a woman and he's gay.
You'd like it.
It's called Feeding Dictators.
I read a whole chapter about Fidel Castro's private chef.
See the Cuba.
Yeah.
What's your private chef like, Hassan?
This is not content.
My private chef is great.
Good for you.
Chipotle.
Good for you for having healthy social activities.
My private chef.
I also went on a hike with a hiking group this morning.
I'm doing really well.
Good for you.
Well, great.
Thank you so much, Cutie Cinderella, for coming on.
You don't invite me to basketball either.
Yeah.
I did not do that.
You are correct.
I have to go, though.
Are you guys still going on?
Yes, we're going to move on to the paywall proportion.
You already know.
Before you leave, QD, where can people find you?
Austin, everybody, you know, shout your channels and everything else.
I'm on cutie cinderella on twitch.tv, and Hassan did fulfill his one raid fulfillment this week, and he raided me yesterday.
That's right.
I am Austin on Twitter.
That is my main Twitter account, not my alt.
And this is Ted Nivision.
Oh, hey, what's up?
I'm Ted Niven.
Ted Nivison, Twitter.
And everywhere else?
Ted Niven.
And that's...
Hey, I'm Will Neff, and you got to drink tip milk.
Why?
Because it's delicious.
Do you like raspberries?
Of course you do.
Do you want to add some blueberries?
Blue raspberries.
Blue raspberries.
Do you want to add some milk to them?
Fuck yeah, you do.
Do you like anime bitches?
Of course.
Order it now.
Famousups.gg.
And that's Jay Schlatt.
Where can they find you, Jay Schlatt?
Twitch.tv/slash Will Neff, baby.
And what's that, YouTube?
Same name.
On YouTube as well.
I feel like I didn't participate in that.
And after.
And that's Hassan.
Brother, you already know.
We're putting you all over the fucking SEO.
That's fine.
I just hope everyone wasn't like, oh, you got Schlatt on.
He didn't say anything.
Well, don't worry.
We already have a second component.
The podcast is not over, obviously.
So behind the paywall, Schlatt's going to say everything.
Yep.
And I'm just going to say that.
You're going to call me the F-Slur.
And you know what?
At the end of it, I'm just going to say, hey, guys, I was just playing Devil's Advocate.
That's all that was.
Yeah.
That always works.
All right.
If you want to check the obviously you want the bonus content and the paywalled episodes, all you need to do is go to patreon.com/slash fearan, and we'll see you behind the paywall.
Yeah, man.
All right now.
Finally.
Yeah.
Very important.
You brought up.
Wait, what do you mean?
It's very important, America.
I'm sorry, America is a secular nation.
Last time I checked, and even though it was like founded by puritanical Calvinists, ultimately I think we've we've moved beyond that.
Secular Immorality Talk00:00:25
So I think that immorality, or the Christian understanding of immorality, has nothing to do with drunk driving, which is an otherwise fun activity that everyone should engage in responsibly.
Of course, I'd love to have you on the show.
I'd love to get trained by you sure yeah, I think that there's nothing else that a son has wanted more in his life than to argue the wrong thing.