Fear, Austin Show, Will Neff, and QTCinderella navigate travel delays and interpersonal friction in Los Angeles, where Austin's MVP snub fuels debates on homophobia while Will downplays a Delta lounge assault. The group dissectes the "Pokemon effect" driving vitriol against successful creators like Austin, whose puppy adoption backlash and One Piece live-stream challenge highlight societal despair over blocked American Dreams. Ultimately, the episode reveals how envy transforms accessible success into targets for anonymous harassment, from blackmail accusations to death threats over anime pacing. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Austin Guest Arrival00:02:48
I don't know.
PSM's office maybe?
That'd be weird if they document.
I'm losing my mind.
I'm losing my mind.
Austin landed in Los Angeles, California from Austin, Texas, approximately like two and a half hours ago.
I'm not entirely certain.
He was very adamant about having his podcast be done at five.
He was like, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
Cutie Cinderella has walked in here before Austin.
Yes.
No, we've been going.
Wait, what time?
As soon as QT walked in, I was like, I have to, we have to get started.
I have so many thoughts.
This is ridiculous.
45 seconds away.
Okay.
Look, I'm so upset.
I cannot believe he just walked in.
I'm so upset.
I fucking flew on a jet from Austin, Texas with incredibly intense headwinds.
Landed in Los Angeles during the fucking whatever marathon it is.
Drove through LAX traffic.
And then I had to shower and change.
It's mind-boggling to me that you said you're going to be here at 5 p.m. because we was like, oh, I got to do it at 5.
And I was like, well, I kind of have like a shelter stream that I'm doing, which we'll be talking about in a brief moment.
And you were like, oh, yeah, it's not a big deal.
I'll be there.
I'll be there.
You'll be there at 5.
Hold on.
False fake news.
You said podcast at 6 p.m.
So we pushed it back to 6 p.m.
What time is it right now?
6.36.
But we all know.
How are you in literally, like, I don't want to give coordinates on anything, but you are close in proximity.
I feel like you are getting kicked off.
You are close in proximity to where I'm at.
I flew from Austin, Texas.
I was sick all week.
I was the starting quarterback for the championship team.
We're going to be talking about that in a little bit too.
We're going to be talking about that, too.
No, this is not you fucking laurel.
I am holding it.
I have this goddamn microphone right in my fucking face.
It's a different.
It's a different mic, and it's right in my face.
Oh, my God.
Austin, that is a different microphone.
It's right in my face.
Variable here.
Notice how cutie is using the microphone that you were using last week, and yet it hasn't started assaulting her violently.
It's because they're homophobic microphones.
Don't touch it.
They lash out at gay people.
And we're back.
Fear and is back and better than ever, bigger than ever, as many might think.
Actually, as a matter of fact, we have our wonderful co-hosts here.
We got Will Neff, Austin Show, Cutie Cinderella.
It's a slammed episode where all of the hosts are here.
That's right.
Absolutely.
Is this the first time that we've all been here at once?
I think it is.
Yeah.
Like, I couldn't.
Oh, last.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, we had like a guest last week.
We had a guest last week.
This is all the first time they were all.
This is one for the family.
I want to know what, I want to dive into your mind sometimes.
Homophobic Microphone Drama00:15:16
I want to know what's going on in there.
Okay.
You want to dive in?
Okay.
He told me on the phone.
He's like, Hassan is, he called Will because I'm texting him.
I'm like, what the fuck are you?
Yeah.
I was like, Austin, where the fuck are you?
What did I say?
He said, no stress, all kinds of things.
Yeah.
He's looking at me and smiling because he's like, yeah, no stress, Austin.
Take your time.
That's what he said to fuck with me.
Okay.
Austin goes, I'm getting my shoes laced.
Okay, I was getting my shoes.
I was lacing my own shoes.
No, someone else laughed in the background when you said you were getting your shoes laced.
We don't talk about him.
Austin was getting his shoes laced.
Look, I've never had a bunch of shoes.
We're going to get drinks.
We're going to get drinks later, and that's it.
That's all this is.
I don't even know where to begin.
I feel like he's like a mad dad right now, and you're grounded.
You were here.
Like you were in Los Angeles at a time that was so viable for you to come.
I know.
I landed at four.
The flight was late.
I tried to speed it up.
You were so on time.
You were slated to be so on time.
And then you came after Cutie.
And Cutie's always the latest.
I got in the shower when she was 30 minutes away.
I don't know what happened.
I had to take a shower.
I didn't tell you because you would have been pissed, but I had to take it.
Yes.
I would have because I'm going out for drinks after.
What am I?
Take the fucking shower after.
That's a lot of work.
I wanted to get into my outfit.
Look at me.
I look great.
You do have a very nice jacket.
What is the jacket?
What's going on over there?
I don't know what you know this brand.
Check it out.
Where is my jacket you came from?
From high school.
It's a letterman's jacket.
Sandra.
It's a Sandra jacket.
I got it at the mall.
Not at H. Lorenzo.
I'll tell you that.
It's not H. Lorenzo.
Not allowed back there.
And I do have your jacket.
You have my jacket?
Back at home in Oregon.
You mean Will's?
Yeah.
You did not take it to fucking Oregon.
I did, but it's back.
I have it in my suitcase.
I was just hoping nobody would have it.
Please let Will wear it sometimes?
Yeah, okay.
I will.
That's insane.
I do have a couple of guy friends that want to wear it.
No, Austin.
This is not.
He's like ranting it out of the track.
No, he's like ranting it out for people.
Yeah, he started up.
Making money on the side.
Expensive jacket.
There's a nice friend of mine.
He's very good looking and a little twink-ish.
Okay, if you're going to get like, okay, okay, then it's fine.
If you're going to get some bussy out of it, then fine.
I'll allow it.
Okay, okay, cool.
I don't want to make this about how Hassan's upset at me.
Let's move on.
That's going to be very difficult.
Let's move on.
It's going to be very difficult not.
Cutie, I'm going to need your support.
I hate sitting on this side of the table.
I'll say.
I have to run outside really quick.
I had food delivered because I haven't eaten all day, but I'm not going to eat it on the stream or on this because you guys hate when I chew.
So I'm not going to do it, but I am going to grab it because it's outside.
Chew extra hard.
No, I won't.
YOLO.
Okay.
Well, Will, how about you?
How wonderful of a week have you had?
Because I thought you were not here.
Yeah, no, I went to get my flight.
I had a five-hour delay, and then they canceled the flight.
Because it rained in Los Angeles.
No, they had to equipment stuff.
I don't know.
But they rebooked me like three days later, essentially.
And so I couldn't make any of the events down in Austin.
But thankfully, the Diablo 4 beta did come out this weekend.
Yeah.
And you boy supped heartily.
I found out Will wasn't in Texas when I landed in Texas.
I called you before.
I knew it was going to happen.
Oh, he's the number one guy to call me.
He called me for flight advice.
And what did I tell you?
He said you might want to rebook, but there's a chance it'll go out.
Because it happened to me three days prior.
Is there more to that story?
Yes.
Go on.
Sorry, it's baby's first podcast.
Okay.
Look, listen, people, I was on your stream, and I'm going to talk about it now.
Yep.
Talk about it publicly on the podcast.
Thank God.
You're gay.
I had a flight.
Yeah.
I'm openly gay.
I had a flight.
That's crazy.
I had a flight from back home to Oregon.
Okay.
It gets canceled 20 minutes before we're about to board.
I hope you got a full refund.
Oh, I got more than a full refund.
I was tied.
Fuck the pilot.
TLDR.
They blamed it on air traffic control.
I did the research.
It wasn't air traffic control.
How do you do research on it?
I know people at Dispatch.
I called the Delta Dispatch and they were.
I knew about their, they knew about this delay.
It was not what they said it was.
And this is what's these airlines take advantage of people and this bullshit.
Yeah, I agree.
Anyway, that's not the case.
I'd stormed to the Delta Lounge, okay?
And I was very polite, okay?
I was with my friend Kirk, and I asked for a separate hotel room, okay, because Kirk and I love Kirk, but I didn't want a room with him, right?
I don't think he's on the stage.
Also, free privacy.
You should get free stuff, right?
Yeah, exactly.
So I advocated for myself.
They wouldn't do it.
They said it's only, you're on the same reservation.
It's outside of our policy.
So I was a little upset.
So they told me to call the 1-800 number.
So next thing you know, I'm in the lounge for two hours talking to 1-800.
They can't help me.
I go back.
Meanwhile, there's this woman in the lounge that is blacked out drunk.
I mean, blacked out, belligerently drunk, that they are giving water to.
And I feel so bad for the staff because she was just out of it.
For some reason, while this woman is blacked out drunk, okay, blacked out drunk, for some reason, while I'm talking to the agent sitting at a desk like this, she decides that.
How?
Literally, how?
She decides that she wants to go home with me for some reason.
Oh, that's nice.
What do you mean for some reason?
You're a stud.
Oh, thank you.
But she.
Did you have the jacket on?
I had a different jacket on.
I had my puffer, my Nike puffer on with my smiley sweatshirt.
Everybody's seen.
Yeah, she thought you were a roadman.
That is the straightest fit you could wear, by the way.
So she wraps her arms around me, randomly lunges at me, wraps her arms around me, and starts kissing my neck.
Starts kissing my neck.
How big are we talking?
She's a very small woman.
Okay.
I was not.
No, I'm saying like, was there physical intimidation involved?
I'm totally okay.
I'm fine.
It wasn't whatever.
I could have pressed charges.
I didn't.
She was pulled off of me by like five Delta agents and she was like screaming, you're no fun.
You're no fun.
And she was like trying to like, you know.
It was very unfun of you.
So technically, you know, so meanwhile, so technically, by definition, I get assault in the lounge.
Yeah.
Right.
And only then, only then did they decide to give me a second hotel room.
Shut the fuck up.
You used that theory.
I didn't.
They said, sir, I kid you not.
I didn't use it to my advantage, but I continued the conversation.
They're like, yes, it will not be a problem.
Sir, we're so sorry.
We'll get you the second hotel room.
Hey, there you go.
And so I got the second hotel room.
But anyway, that was my little story.
That was my little spiel.
I don't, I want to be very clear about this.
I am okay.
I'm fine.
By definition, it was sexually assault.
This is not a big deal to me.
So please, in the comments.
Okay, on the other side of this story, if we're going to, if we're going to, you think they're going to hunter down?
He's not wrong.
People would get mad at him and say he's trivializing sexual assault.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
But I'm not.
It happened to me.
I feel okay.
I'm fine.
I'm not.
I don't mean to diminish anybody else's experience.
We've been assaulted by the same dude on the same night.
And like when we talk about it and like it's, you know, as is like whatever.
Yeah.
As if it's whatever, people have like gotten upset about that.
But regardless.
Good to know.
Regardless, one question I have.
Was there a part of you, and this is going to be inappropriate.
Was there a part of you where you were like, damn, I'm a stud?
No, not with the woman kissed me.
But I told the Delta agents that I was like, it's not a big deal.
And they decided like, yeah, yeah, you know, you'd have, you're used to that kind of attention.
You loved it.
I love that.
Oh, God, you are.
But not the, not, not the, not the, not the acting.
Like, I wasn't, like, I wasn't loving her kissing me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like, when the Delta agents are like, yeah, you're a handsome guy.
You're, you're used to, not used to getting assaulted, but like used to getting like attention from women from women.
You were like, oh.
I was like, all right, all right.
You, you're header.
You're, you keep behaving in the most hetero fashion.
Okay.
This is not a you're asking for it moment.
Okay, we better stop doing that.
Stop het baiting.
Okay.
She thought I was so straight.
Yeah.
She probably was like, oh, I love.
I should, I should have.
I think she was.
I should have pulled down my Lululemon sweatpants and exposed a man thong and said, no, no, no.
This is not what you think.
You would never wear a man thong.
I wouldn't.
You have a jockstrap thing, though.
I have jockstraps.
You love jockstraps.
Wait, I don't know what it is.
Oh, cutie.
You're missing out.
Jockstrap is like a male thong, like a banana hammock.
Oh, wait, is that the thing where your butt has no coverage?
Yeah.
I don't understand that.
Isn't the butt having you trying to call it?
I own a several.
Wait, why?
They were originally for sport.
They're a don't hold a cup.
Oh, so you put it over your underwear?
Oh, you wear it like football pads.
You wear your cup and then you wear that and it holds your cup in place.
And then on top of that, you put underwear on.
So you just don't put any underwear on.
No.
I don't usually wear them.
My friends wear them.
But you have you have it for your friends?
No, like I have friends.
I don't give them my underwear, but I just own some because like I just have them, but I don't wear them very often.
But crazy.
Have you worn them?
I've worn them.
Yeah.
I've taken photos in them.
You've never seen them.
Have you seen them?
I have not posted these.
I can't wait for Austin to just start an OnlyFans.
Wait, I want to see them.
What the fuck?
I don't have any with me.
Why do you want to see my all-cock?
That's all it is.
I mean, you send me photos all the time with your dick imprint very visible.
I do have a couple that I got to send you.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize the jockstrap was a bridge too far.
I do have a couple of photos I got to send you.
I'm a little offended that you didn't send me or Will any photos of you in a jock strap.
I thought it would have been crossing the line at the time.
He got you off the mailing list after you XNA'd the tongue photo.
Yeah.
Really?
What was the tongue photo?
What?
Marge, can you pull up the tongue photo real quick?
Jock got off the mailing list, dude.
I was wrong, by the way.
I'll fucking admit it.
I thought it was like, I thought you were bottom signaling too much.
But honestly, like, people dug it.
They really liked it.
Yeah.
Because you are so rugged.
It's on main and it's a media reply.
I don't even know what freaking account is your main.
I'll be honest.
It's the one with more followers.
Up there.
Oh, there it is.
So he replied.
So you didn't like this photo?
So he replied to me saying, This do anything for you?
And I told him I told you not to post one.
But then LeRay immediately said it did something for me.
And that just, I'm on the fuck do I did.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I like it.
It's so wrong.
It's a great photo.
Do you think it does?
Like, obviously, no hetero.
It does not.
Like, no hetero.
Let's pretend we don't know each other.
Pretend I'm straight.
Would this photo do anything for you?
What?
If you were straight.
Pretend I'm straight.
Pretend we don't know each other.
Pretend Ludwig's not in the picture.
No, that's awful.
No, no, no.
This is like...
What's wrong with that?
That's not a straight photo.
No, that's not a straight photo at all.
That's why I was like...
You would know from that photo.
Yeah.
Yes.
Dog.
The reason why I told you.
I've never seen a straight man do that with this time.
The reason why I told you not to post that is literally because I thought it looked too gay.
Okay, got it.
Which is why, and I like bottom baiting.
Yeah, which is why I thought like a big part of your charm is like, you know, you're the rugged guy.
Right, right.
Wow, so you don't want him to be gay.
No, that's no, I'm saying.
No, no, no.
I'm trying to, I'm trying to maximize.
I am trying to maximize his output for every bottom.
Bottoms love, bottoms love like a rugged macho.
The Dixie Chicks management, they told them to never talk about politics.
So then everyone will love you.
No, he can be as gay as he wants, but just like in a very like mask macho.
Exactly.
No, he can be gay, but you're saying he can't define.
He can't say who he's voting for.
I'm not even kidding.
I don't give a fuck who he votes for.
I'm just trying.
I was wrong anyway.
I was a gemmer.
I was wrong.
I'm not all the Dixie Chicks.
Help me here.
Listen, Dixie chicks fell off after they talk politics.
Okay yeah no, that makes that makes me right.
I know that makes you right.
Look, i'm open for anything at this point.
Um oh my, i'm gonna bottom this.
My thing was like oh, you're not gonna bottom this year, i'm gonna take.
You're such a liar, takes so much prep to bottom he oh, we know I am going to.
Yes, absorb somebody's semen.
Yes no, he he's a perma top.
Wait, i'm, do not clip that.
Any biker, please.
Do you know if?
Do you know if?
Oh, he knows who he's.
You are bait dude.
Oh my god, get the fuck out of here.
Don't throw me in the briar patch.
Anti biker, please don't clip this.
I have an actual last question.
He's a power top, he's a permatop.
He's a selfish top.
That's right.
He will never bottom.
Does not understand the plight of bottom enough weed, or consume enough weed that it's infused in your semen and then you come in someone's butt and it goes through their pores and they get high on to something here.
No really, she is not really cutie, I think.
Don't let.
Where did that come from?
Don't let them match.
I'm just wondering, did you have that like ready somewhere absorb.
He said i'm gonna absorb.
And I said someone's semen.
And then I thought to myself, what if you infuse your semen with weed and then you were able to get high?
Use the internet, for fuck's sake.
They have invented a new thing.
Yeah yeah, i'm gonna.
I think we need to get back to this.
Yeah, you were wondering, you were wondering what?
No, you were also wondering like, oh, how do we know about his bottom adventures?
There's a thing called booty boot camp.
Oh yeah, booty boot camp.
So it starts off with like, it starts off with like tiny dildos and you work your way up to imaginism.
Yes, where you work your way up to big cops, imaginism.
Tell me what the is that Christmas for the pussy?
You know about it?
No, she has, she has a.
She has gorilla grip coochie, I didn't know the technical.
You have to yeah, you have to train yourself with dildos.
Yeah, so that basically it's the same principle for Austin's asshole.
And he bought the Booty boot camp, thinking he was gonna, thinking he was gonna bottom train.
And then he put the first, like tiny, thought it was like a class where you all go and get fucked squats.
Oh no, like train your asses together.
No, like La Maz.
Shaving Booty Boot Camp00:05:37
I unfortunately failed after the first level, couldn't even put the little, the little thing in there.
Okay, says you, you probably you can't even get a finger in yours.
Oh, Gabe Piker yeah, I have, I have.
Uh, the only last time you had something in your ass is when you were getting hazed when you were joining your fraternity.
I also take really big shit sometimes okay, so it's like technically coming out, going in, then coming out yeah, but um, I have, I have had my butt eaten.
So I do have that butt eaten.
Yeah god, that must have been.
You probably never talked to me.
I see, this is like a big part of the reason why I don't like doing any like butt stuff in general, because i'm like very hairy and i'm like very interesting about but no, but no I I, I literally shave, I shave my butthole, I shave like the insides, my ass.
Shave your butthole.
Do you have to like squat?
I have a body shaver.
Oh um, with the like she uses, he uses your code on Manscaped Qdc 20 off.
And I have a.
I have a Philip Snorelgo body shaver.
Oh well, not an ad, not an ad.
But, like you know, people ask all the time it seems like a hard angle to get.
Luckily, i'm blessed without a hairy asshole and i've thought about it before, because shaving a vagina is really hard.
We don't talk about it enough.
I love shaving a dick.
Dicks, what do you mean?
A dick is a rod.
A vagina is like a, like a never-ending book with.
Yeah, but what if you have an art form to shaving?
Yeah yeah, it's not easy.
No, it's not easy.
No, it's not easy.
A vagina is way harder.
Yes, I've shaved both.
Really?
You shaved a pussy?
I've tells you.
What the fuck?
Tell us about it.
I am very good at shaving my dick.
And I wanted to try my hand across the fence.
You're like the exotic barber.
No, vaginas are so hard.
You have to like fold stuff open.
No.
Well, we have balls.
So like we have like similar.
The dick is much harder.
You have to, you have to.
Listen, I could do an instructional.
You didn't do it from above, though.
There is a technique I called holding the bullfrog where you have to cut the balls in such a way that you create balls on the shape.
Yes.
I do that too.
Let's go.
Holding the bullfrog.
Yeah, you have to make it like smooth enough so that like when the when the electric razor hits it, it's not like try shaving a circle.
The balls.
Yeah.
Now that is.
Yeah.
Little freaking vagina lips are little circles.
Yeah, you have to just, you just give them a little tug.
I suspect you have a similar, yeah, you have a similar thing where you have to like tug it a little bit.
I've never tugged anything.
Gosh, you gotta eat your hair.
This might be my problem.
You have to create tension.
So shaving a face teaches you because the face is always on display and you can't have any nicks or bumps.
So you are always creating tension on your skin and short strokes.
Pussy, very easy.
Little upside, put the legs back.
Yeah, I can't put my...
What do you think I'm doing?
No, that's why he's doing it.
That's why he's shaving the pussy.
But as a woman, it's harder to shave your own.
Baby, I'll shave your pussy for you.
Okay, no.
That's not a catwall.
That's not fun.
Behind the paywall, we'll be shaving.
After Love Lake bailed on my protein taste test, you know, dude, go off.
Go off.
Do whatever you want to do.
That's right.
Did you?
Was that a fun protein taste test?
It was a fun protein taste test.
Yes.
Commit adultery.
Adultery students.
Shave the pussy.
Honey.
What's Will's thing?
He just shaved me.
I like the way the professionalism, though, the way you described it when you were using your hand movements, like gentle.
It was all business.
I think the person thought it was going to be sexual, and then it was all business.
What a crazy.
Marco St. Marco style.
I went in, James Marco St. Marco.
I was like, get your fucking legs upon it.
You're wasting my time.
I think pussy is harder to shave because, like, from a societal norm perspective, women are expected to be hairless.
And so as a...
True, we can't use electric.
Yeah, when you're shaving a dick, you don't need to be as perfect because it...
Okay.
You don't need to be as perfect.
Fair, fair.
Not saying you should be hairy because that's disgusting.
Okay.
Absolutely disgusting.
You need to be manscaped.
No, I'm kidding.
If you want to be hairy, just don't talk to me.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But do your own thing.
But my personal preference is to be a little less hairy.
I agree.
But you don't need to be as accurate as a female.
Yeah, we're supposed to look like babies down there.
Yeah.
That's a weird way of putting it.
Listen, this is the way I say it.
I don't think that everybody should shave.
If you don't want to shave, everybody has their own thing.
But for me, Pussy is a restaurant.
I eat there frequently.
What would you do if you found a hair in your food?
Go to it.
Add it back.
Yeah.
I also apply the common courtesy of, you know, has to speak to the manager.
Shaving myself.
I'm a fucking hairy guy.
Yeah.
You.
I got to do a lot more upkeep than the average person.
Also, I don't mind hair above the vagina.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
You're never going to eat it.
I know.
I really, but if I were to theoretically have sex with a vagina, okay?
Just the vagina.
Just the vagina.
I would, it'd have to be hairless, like completely.
Have we become a sex ed podcast?
Yes.
Okay.
Sorry.
Not terrible.
It's my fault.
Okay.
If you want to have hair, have your hair.
We support all hair.
We do.
We are all everything, whatever you want.
Some of you.
These bitches need to shave is what Austin is saying.
Okay.
Well, let's move on to something more interesting than that.
Athleticism.
That's right.
Hairless Vagina Debate00:06:53
We have the premier quarterback.
I'm not talking about Aaron Rodgers going to the Jets.
We're not going to be doing that today.
We're going to be talking about 15 minutes.
We're going to be talking about Austin, Mr. Motherfucking Show.
The second openly gay NFL athlete.
Yeah.
Austin Show.
Throwing heaters.
Put on a show.
Yeah, I threw nine touchdowns, had 185 yards passing on a 35-yard field.
That's huge.
That's huge.
You also hugged Soda Poppin like no one ever has.
Yes, I definitely got more than he bargained.
The other thing I would say is two things.
This is a double-edged sword.
Okay.
You were unexpectedly faster than I thought.
Really?
Yeah, you were very quick.
However, when you ran with the football, you ran like Super Mario.
It was like a very tautic.
I've always ran weird.
It's very upright.
Yes.
Really?
I used to hunt.
It's very Super Mario.
It's on Reddit.
It's on Reddit.
Yeah.
I try not to look at Reddit.
Yeah, me need to.
Yeah, we'll talk about that in a second, too.
You don't need to.
Yeah.
Unlike you and I, Austin had a lot of fans after this football game.
Really?
Yeah.
People on Reddit were glazing him, which is weird because.
Maybe I need to play football.
No, they'll still hate you.
You're a woman.
They'll go back to hating me as soon as something else comes up.
No, no, no.
You do have the benefit of not streaming as much.
I think, as weird as that sounds, you're less likely to say something you shouldn't when you don't stream as much.
Or say something that you should that gets misconstrued.
Yeah, true.
True.
True.
Or weaponized against you.
Yeah.
But it is, if you look at like Top Grazella just passed this week, it should show up.
Baker Gayfield, something like this.
Yeah, people were saying, people were calling him Baker Gayfield.
That's so funny.
But in like a positive way.
Oh, there's one.
Oh, no, not the E-Rob one.
Anyway, shut off the ex out of the sign-in with Reddit Google thing.
Regardless.
Yeah.
You were throwing heaters.
Yep.
We were lasering them.
Yep.
Afghans got a lot of the credit and you were upset.
Wait, how did you know this?
How did you know?
We had a phone conversation.
Oh, God.
Look, you forgot that we had a story.
No, I just didn't know we were airing this out.
Austin's picking on a small streamer.
See there.
Small streamer?
Muslim man.
Let's cancel him out.
Thank you.
Here's the deal.
Yeah.
Here's the deal.
I went out there and threw nine touchdowns.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
185 yards passing.
Okay.
You also had to touch Soda Poppin, who is no longer a Twink.
Exactly.
I put a lot out there.
Okay.
And I am so happy.
I couldn't be happier for Afghans getting the MVP.
You're so fake.
You're so fake.
I couldn't be happier.
Look at your face.
For my teammate who put it all out there on the field for becoming the MVP.
I just thought maybe perhaps I should have gotten a little bit more recognition.
Would you say it's homophobic that you did not get the recognition that you deserve?
I could taste the air got more bitter.
Look, I was a little upset when I didn't get a post-game interview from Elena, and that really upset me.
You did say that that's the reason why I didn't get MVP.
Look, there was somebody on Reddit that agreed with me.
Okay.
No, but realistically, if we're realistic, brother, you can ever say that.
Had a hell of a Afghans had a hell of a game, and I'm so proud of him.
I think the reason Afghans got MVP is he came in big in clutch time.
Yep.
And also he was the last pick.
Well, technically, not really, but then ended up being like the second, the last pick.
But no, but let the man have his underdogs, though.
Look, I couldn't be happier for him.
Really couldn't be.
You literally can't eat us.
We're the strafe.
I couldn't be happier for him.
I couldn't be.
Look, I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I flew halfway across the country to help him get.
No, you're right.
Fuck Afghans.
No, I love the guy.
I love the guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's roll.
Let's roll the highlight reel.
Oh, you want to.
March can't find the highlight.
I deleted it from Reddit.
You can just go to Nick's channel maybe and look at the top.
You did personally say Hassan's exposing me.
No.
I did want the MVP, though.
Of course, no, no, that's not what I was talking about.
You did just say a lot of people on Reddit agreed with me, which is one comment.
Which is the worst comment.
You should never say that.
You can say everything you want about Afghans.
Don't ever say that.
That's how you know you're wrong.
But look, I don't want to take up too much time.
It's been a lot about me.
Let's talk about everybody.
Did you also play football, Will?
No, I had a six-hour delay and then my flight got canceled.
I thought Will was not.
Wait, has Caroline just been in Texas for a week?
Oh my gosh.
Because it would have been chilled to have you on the protein on the protein taste test.
Oh, man.
Look at that.
Look, here, let's roll it back.
Who did he throw that to?
Cypher?
Look at the footwork, Will.
It's good.
Good pocket.
Were you surprised?
Look at this.
Oh, look at him.
You're speedy.
That's very good.
That's very good.
Great awareness.
Yeah.
Anyway, it was great.
It's not worth watching.
It wasn't the MVP.
But, you know, look.
Afghans deserved it, okay?
He deserved it.
I don't want to take anything away from him because the guy went out and put on a clinic.
It's been a busy week for all of us.
Got Diablo.
You are dodging people yelling at you for the streamer awards.
Well, people are really mad that I need a personal assistant.
That's the new thing that they're really after I do a massive show.
They're like, you know what?
Fucking privileged Twitch streamers need personal assistance.
Fuck them.
And I was like, okay.
I've seen that.
A lot of people are like, oh, they're circle jerking.
Like they're doing circle jerks, which like we are kind of, but also like, you know, it's confident.
Or maybe you have empathy for people who have the same profession as you do because people outside of that very nuanced profession can't understand the pitfalls that also come with the money and the attention.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I think, I think, end of the day, streamer awards, one of the best things that was ever said to me was when Asmingold first won and he told me, he's like, I've never won an award before.
He's been streaming for years.
And he's never been patted on the back by his colleagues and said, hey, you're sick, you know?
And so like, that's one big purpose of it.
But I will say the overall purpose is just to get everyone together.
Like, and my way to do that is to have some gold trophies.
It's more important to have this family union once a year and get everyone to like squash their beef.
Puppy Adoption Streams00:04:35
I know, but there's no drama if you squash beefs.
Well, I would prefer that.
Let's all just play Among Us again.
I like that.
There was a lot of drama when people were.
There was, actually, I never got invited to lobbies, and I still think about it.
You and Tran Rex both.
Okay.
We'll stay away from that subject, I think.
But there's, I mean, I'm a firm believer at this stage that there's no good deed that ever goes unpunished.
Not to be like, oh, man, we're complaining about our fucking lives or whatever, but that's kind of what podcasts are for.
Yeah, I did a puppy adoption stream today.
Where did that go?
Did he find a puppy?
There's no puppy in the house.
There is no puppy in the house.
Well, there is one.
Fiona's here.
But no, we went to three different places, including the LA City Animal Services Shelter.
Couldn't watch because every time you walked past a puppy, I got really sad and so I couldn't watch.
Yeah, it was hard.
It was definitely, it was, you know, there were some really good moments.
There were some really cute moments.
We got to like, you know, play with an entire litter of like pitbull puppies.
They let us do that, which was so sick.
And, you know, I decided, you know, we'll do, we'll do something good.
And oh, here it is.
This is like one of the best parts.
Oh, my God.
And you didn't take any of them home, you piece of shit.
I now agree.
Little scrunchie.
You should have all five people.
Do you even have a heart?
Adopt every puppy in Los Angeles.
By the way, I found out it is $500 to adopt a pet in Los Angeles.
So in different places in different facilities, they have different prices.
Is there taxes associated with that?
NKLA?
No.
NKLA.
I'm also convinced that there is an underground puppy ring.
Oh, there's a problem.
Where anytime a designer dog goes on the website, it doesn't exist.
They've already adopted it and then they sell it.
What do you mean?
I'm telling you.
Oh, in the shelters.
In the shelters.
I tried to adopt a dog for like months before I got Farley, who was a rehome.
Uh-huh.
But I tried to adopt one from the Los Angeles like kill shelters.
And anytime, I wanted a golden retriever.
And anytime there was a golden retriever, I would see it on the website.
I'd call them about it and I'd go there.
And on like 12 separate occasions, the dog wasn't there.
They'd be like, oh, it's already been adopted.
Yeah.
And I was like, this was posted today.
No, I think there's a lot of people that just like, there's a lot of people that are like looking at it.
There's so because this is my conspiracy theory, by the way.
Interesting.
I think LA is so massive and there's a lot of people that are looking for like new dogs, specific dogs, myself included.
And I think that's part of the reason why it's impossible to find a dog like that.
It's not impossible.
It can happen.
I'm thankful for it.
I mean, there was a, there was literally led me to Farley.
Yeah.
There was a literal white husky puppy that I was playing with.
And, you know, that was, I mean, that was a straight up white husky puppy.
You know what I mean?
That is an incredibly, it's a rare breed.
Yeah.
It's a rare coat.
He's so cute.
He was very cute.
You could never have a husky.
I can't have a husky.
You walked like three times a day.
Exactly.
Yeah, you couldn't.
That's why I wanted like a big dog too.
I feel like it'd be torturous for the dog.
You thought about getting a cat?
No, absolutely not.
Oh, my gosh.
What a cute puppy.
I'm not going to lie.
I came 360 on cats after I heroically saved a cat from the highway.
Thank you.
That was amazing, by the way.
It's the most will-nuff thing that's ever happened.
Yeah, one thing that we wanted to do, like one thing I wanted to do was basically just like, you know, take away at least one hurdle.
Because when puppies are getting homed, like there's still background checks.
Like they don't just like give it off to anybody in these shelters, right?
There's still a lot of stuff.
But one of the things is this financial barrier that they implement.
In a lot of instances, they lower that barrier anyway.
Like the LA, the LA shelter is actually 50% off and it's usually $100, but then they do 50% off on Sundays, whatever.
It's like I do think there's some part of the fee just being a damn for like, hey, if you can't afford enough fee for your dog, you shouldn't have a dog.
Yeah, exactly.
But like, obviously, a lot of those fees also cover the medical charges and things of that nature.
But like people are, you can't really go and get a dog if you're not super able to do that anyway.
Like they try to limit that as best as possible.
MrBeast Assistant Envy00:11:39
So I thought I'll give money to these, you know, to these places that we're visiting.
But they didn't know about it either ahead of time.
Like I just straight up like randomly was like, I think this would be a good idea.
Yeah.
If I do it, you're a pig for doing that.
But people got so mad at me.
Really?
So insufferable, man.
People got mad.
What are they mad about?
They said it's irresponsible because like random people who want to murder dogs will now be able to get them for free.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, God.
That is why you should never do anything good.
Yeah.
They said one guy was really mad because I didn't go to like a like a kill shelter or didn't go to like an actual county animal services, which I did, but he just didn't know about it.
But he just wanted to yell.
You know what I mean?
Well, you're, I think you should change your name to Hasana Beast because you're becoming Mr. Beast more every day.
Yeah, that's another thing.
A lot of people were mad at me saying, this guy fucking hates Mr. Beast, but then he's doing this shit.
And then everybody loves it when he does it.
First of all, nobody loves it when I do anything.
Let's get that out of the way.
And two, I never even fucking got mad at Mr. Beast.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Which is, you know, which is when I realized, like, oh, it's just, you know, it just doesn't.
I'm so upset I saw on Twitter.
One reply was, well, he did it so publicly.
Dude.
Like, is this what you have to do to do a good deed?
Do you have to sacrifice everything, be completely selfless, go homeless, never have any joys in life?
Because that's the only way you can do anything.
Then why don't you, everybody is capable of doing something.
You know what?
Person on Twitter, sell all your personal possessions, everything.
Yeah.
Completely.
Strip down to nothing but your body suit and live in filth and nothing and give it all to charity because that's exactly what the expectation is.
Theogenies.
The thing is, the thing is, like, one, they do say that all the time.
Like, unironically, that's not even a joke.
That's like a straight up ask.
Leader Ross, when he was like shitting on me, he's like, you have $5 million house.
And I saw the comments.
Everyone was like, yeah, he should sell his house.
He should house homeless people in his house.
And then, you know, but they're not going to fucking be like, all right, respect him for this.
Ridiculous demand, regardless, and won't solve the problems.
The problems are systemic.
But the other thing is I actually forgot what I was going to say.
God damn it.
I had a good thought in my mind, but now I'm now blanking out.
I'm spacing out on it.
Oh, it made me realize that obviously no good deed goes unpunished.
That's one.
But two, people make assumptions about you off of YouTube videos that they watch and not necessarily like the actual thing.
Because with respect to the Mr. Beast thing, I was very clear, made numerous videos on it.
Very obvious what I was saying.
Mr. Beast agrees with it.
I talked to him personally as well privately.
And yet people were just like, well, I saw Candace Owens say that you hate Mr. Beast.
So now I just think you hate Mr. Beast.
I'm like, motherfucker, I know him.
Like, I know him.
That's frustrating.
I will say you can only control so much of your own narrative when people just decide things.
But you know what makes me feel better is that there's a few hundred thousand people that hate Taylor Swift.
And I think she's amazing.
So, well, not that.
There's probably more.
It's not like that many.
By tons.
But you know, like.
Like an entire country's worth.
No.
Yeah, most likely.
A small company.
But you know what I'm saying?
Like, if they hate someone that I think is so great, all because of something they just don't know her, then I can, I've started to like try to apply that to myself.
Like people getting mad at me for saying I need a new assistant because I just do.
And then being like...
Why are people upset at you about that?
Because what were the criticisms?
Well, specifically for my assistant, I said, I don't want them.
I need them in LA, but I don't want them to make their own content.
I don't want an assistant that makes their own content.
The reason being is I don't want them over at my house.
Have you found an assistant yet?
I think I have.
I have a recommendation for you.
Oh, great.
Okay.
Well, we'll talk about it.
I will be your assistant.
You would be the worst.
I would hate that.
But, well, he doesn't care about making his own content.
That's for sure.
Got him.
The whole idea being like a very, a privacy thing where it's like, even if this person went home and streamed League of Legends, you know, they could be like, oh, I was at Cutie's house today and her and Ludwig are in a fight.
Like, you know, like, so I just don't want someone that makes there's plenty of people that are interested in being a PA that doesn't want to make content.
People, that was a big thing people were mad about.
Another thing they were mad about is I said, like, has to be okay with doing dishes.
I am, I do baking streams on the weekend.
I used to be a professional cake artist.
As my job is to push the go live button.
So my PA, their job is to try to keep me on camera for as long as I can.
So if I'm exhausted and I think, oh, I have two hours worth of dishes, I'm going to end early so I can do these dishes.
That takes away from camera time.
So it's better for PA to do the dishes just for baking streams specifically.
Not like my dishes every day.
But even then, if I did want a PA to do my dishes every day, that could be a thing too.
PAs, there are Ps they do that, but people are mad.
They're like, just hire a dishwasher.
And I'm like, I'm not, I can't hire a dishwasher for two hours a week.
I'm trying to fill my PA to have 40 hours a week.
So also you, you put it down as a, a lot of people fail to understand this for some weird reason, but like, you know, not that this is about socialism, but people always be like, people, people don't realize that like you're being upfront about what the job requires.
Right.
Like I'm like, it's not like you're, it's not like you're dropping it on someone and being like, oh, you're my PN out.
Do the dishes, bitch.
Let's go.
You're like, this is a very well-paying job.
Like, this is not, it's not minimum.
This is nearly double minimum wage.
Like, this is like.
You have made that, you have been upfront with the expectations and people can choose not to apply if they don't want to.
Yeah, but people were very mad about that.
Like, I get like, I don't know.
People, people have very false notions about like jobs without dignity.
They, they, it's, it's like minimizing the, the job itself when you're like, oh, how dare you ask them to do the dishes.
I, and I don't, I don't really understand it if it's like the requirement.
I think that as long as people are paid well, as long as they're paid well and they're happy in their position and they have some level of like fulfillment, some level of autonomy as far as like what they can and can't do, what they can set boundaries on.
Can I maybe make an assessment?
Yeah.
Did you label it a PA?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think people are upset because they think the term PA means production assistant and not personal assistant.
Wait, what did I write?
In which PA means personal assistant, but no, PA would think production assistant.
So in that case, which by the way, production assistants.
No, doing dishes for a baking stream, yes.
Yeah.
Doing dishes just randomly, no.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Like production assistants would do the dishes on a baking stream.
Oh, no, I said personal assistant.
Oh, okay.
Never mind.
No, I think people are just more mad that you're like asking for a personal assistant.
Yeah, people were mad about that.
They were like, who does, who does this streamer think she is?
She like needs a personal assistant.
Her life's so hard.
And I'm like, I just put on a show for half a million people.
I do need help.
A lot of people have personal assistants.
I could use one myself and I don't even work as hard as you.
What would be the purpose for you to have a personal assistant?
There's a lot of inconveniences in my life that a lot of you wouldn't understand.
That's, oh my God.
You wouldn't express a personal assistant.
It is funny, though, because like, again, people tell me that.
I'm not thinking about starting a service.
People get mad at me for not having one all the fucking time.
And they're like, dude, you could have had like someone actually handle this stuff for you ahead of time and make better content, which like, albeit is kind of true.
But again, I would never, I would, I would not have one for that exact same reason.
Oh my God, people would fucking destroy me.
It was, it was, I mean, it's definitely interesting.
I think it's, it's just hard.
People just want to be mad is what I'm feeling more and more like the internet, people are just angry and it's very defeating.
It's like, why are we using this?
I think people feel a lot of despair.
There's a sense of despair in the air for them.
They feel like their, you know, future opportunities are shut off.
They will never recover the boomer aesthetic that they looked at.
The American dream, white picket fence, a good job with a pension, car, be able to send your children off to college.
That stuff is never going to happen for them.
So they get angry and then they lash out at whoever is the most accessible.
And people who are extremely online who aren't really like real celebrities, but at least have like the veneer of a real celebrity, even though, you know, with it with a giant pay cut in comparison to a real celebrity with a lot more work that they put in comparison to like an actor or something.
Well, output is also seen as like marginal and silly and dumb and stupid, which, you know, there is some truth to that.
We are very accessible.
So people make us their target all the time.
It happens.
Yeah.
I think part of it is you look at a finished product, you look at a public person and see their life.
A lot of times you can become envious, especially if things aren't going your way.
And there's always that question of like, why them?
And obviously there's a luck factor to this, but I think a lot of people ultimately.
Hugely, it's luck is a huge role.
One of the hardest things in the world, though, is to work, keep working without encouragement.
Right.
Like a lot of jobs, like atypical paths in life, there's the gratification of a check.
There's the gratification of like moving up a ladder.
And ultimately, entertainment is very scary because in the fledgling phases of that career, you basically, you're that meme of like carving in the dark with the diamonds somewhere down the path.
Yeah, it's a gamble.
Yeah, it's a gamble and it's, and it's brutal.
I think that's partially the vitriol towards public creators is like you realize the luck and the kind of the ridiculousness of celebrity, but also I think anytime you're a public person and you disagree with someone's worldviews, I think it's sometimes hard to have empathy for someone you perceive as having more than you.
Right.
That makes sense.
Yeah, for sure.
I recognize all that, which is why I'm always like, look, you're yelling at the wrong guy.
I feel you.
I see where you're coming from.
Yell at me all day, but you know, it's not going to make the world a better place for you at all.
It was funny.
It was funny because there's a few people that are like, what happened to your old PA?
And I was like, she's going to school to become a doctor.
Like, I don't know.
I ate her.
Yeah.
Like, clearly she wasn't happy.
That's so loaded because like that, that is the worst part about it, though, is like, there's so much.
It's so cynical.
It is so cynical.
And instead of being like, instead of being like, oh, okay, well, I guess I was wrong.
Your old PA is now becoming a doctor and like, you know, continuing on with her career choices, they double down and they're like, well, I'm going to look for something else to feel like I was right all along.
They're like, so she wasn't happy and that's why she left because clearly her only goal in life was to be a PA.
It's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, no, that, that doubling down and then like looking for additional reasons to hate this micro niche e-celebrity that you fucking despise for some weird reason is what also festers a lot of the negative stuff that is in our field for sure.
It also happens to me much more after I do these events.
People seem to get really mad at me.
And I think I've been calling it the Pokemon effect, where it's like, you're a woman and you're now on a pedestal.
Let's knock her down as much as we can.
Oh, I feel the Pokemon effect all the time.
Because sometimes I zoom out and I'm like, why do people get so fucking mad at Pokey all the time?
It's like, she's just breathing.
Pokemon Effect Madness00:05:51
And it's like, I don't know.
She's a.
People who are mad about Pokey.
People are mad at Pokey when that fucking weirdo that I guess like worked at Twitch or whatever.
Yeah.
Was like trying to blackmailing her.
Blackmailing, like saying that they were in a relationship to her fans so he could like solicit sexually explicit photos from Pokey's fans while also simultaneously saying like he had sexually explicit photos of Pokey.
And people are still mad at her.
There was like, oh, who's this innocent employee?
Like, we don't even fucking know this guy.
It's like, yeah, exactly.
You don't know the guy.
Like, it was handled with.
Clearly, the company took action before anything else fucking happened.
They kept the dude's privacy on top of that, which, I don't know, I think that's like a little bit too charitable, if you ask me.
And you're still fucking taking the side of a guy when you don't even know the guy.
Like, there is no...
There is no guy that you know in that situation.
You don't know their boundaries.
You've heard the story.
You've heard what has happened.
You've heard that people have taken action and you still are like, I'm going to ride for this faceless, lifeless guy that I. Son, he does have a penis.
I'm just, it's just like, it's weird.
It's, it's a very, it's weirdo behavior.
You're being goofy as fuck.
You're like riding for sexual assault, I guess, and like, uh, and, you know, being gross to women.
Everybody's aired out their very personal, very serious scripes.
So now it's time for me to air out my very personal, very serious scripe.
I work out on my Peloton bike because I'm trying to lose weight.
And so for now, I have been doing an hour to two hours every day on the Peloton bike before I go to the gym.
Two hours sucks.
And I watch television.
Typically, I watch anime.
I've made my way through all of Full Metal Metal Brother, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood.
I've made my whole way through Hunter Hunter again.
Also great anime.
And so now I'm on to a new anime.
Gothic Girl.
Well, that's no.
Really good.
I picked up an anime.
It's a real niche one that barely anyone watches called One Piece.
And for anybody who doesn't know about One Piece, you're going to be able to get through it.
Well, One Piece has many episodes, many, many episodes.
It's only a thousand.
It's also a thousand episodes.
More than a thousand.
It's also a little dated.
It's also a little dated.
It came out in like 1994.
1049.
Yes.
Holy shit.
There you go.
So I'm on my Peloton and I am sometimes tweeting from my Peloton because I'm a sassy little bitch with a tight ass.
And I'm watching episode like 11.
And I'm like, this really isn't hitting yet.
I know this is supposed to get good.
It's got big time stands.
So I tweet from my phone.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am making my way through One Piece.
When does it get good?
Because I'm on episode 11 and I'm struggling.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
People were very mad.
Pull up the tweet.
People were very mad.
No.
People were very mad at Will.
Wait, have we all just been bullied this week?
Pull up the tweet.
I mean, this is like I usually don't like this tweet has 5 million impressions.
298 quotes.
Well, to be fair, you did put a giveaway Luffy on there, too.
So like, you know people were in that five million impressions.
Carl Jacobs responds to it too.
What did Carl say?
He told me episode 100.
Some people said episode 500.
Most said episode 30, which in retrospect, let me put this riot to bed.
I'm enjoying it more.
Are people upset at you because you weren't in the middle of it?
Some people verbatim said, if you don't enjoy it for episode one, you are uncultured swine.
Some people said it was a bad taste.
Slit your throat.
Wait, like literally.
Throw you in a shallow grave.
Piss on your body.
Like those words.
He's exaggerating.
He's exaggerating.
But people were like, some people said, though, if you don't enjoy it from episode one, you do not deserve it.
Wow.
No, I think some people are also saying that like, you know, if you don't like it in the beginning, you're just probably not going to like it, which I think is fair.
It's not for everyone.
It is.
That is the worst taste.
It's not good for first episodes are so wrong.
And then as they get going, it's like, okay, I'm invested in the characters.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's not.
Pausing right now?
No, it's not for everyone.
That is for sure.
I say this all the time.
I think that.
How long is an episode?
It's 20 minutes, but like it also, it gets even more condensed when you get closer.
I'm at 500 right now.
I started watching.
I started watching One Piece in like October.
Sorry, Austin.
I know we're talking about nerd shit and not like by the way.
This is you guys.
I want to offer One Piece.
I want to offer something.
Because it's torture.
Yeah.
I want to offer something to Crunchyroll.
If you're watching, I don't think Crunchyroll watches us.
Well, someone can tag me.
No, you could, you'd be surprised.
I got some fans of Crunchyroll.
Okay.
If Crunchyroll wants to lay down the gauntlet, I will watch every single episode of One Piece from my bike.
Oh my God.
From my Peloton.
Live on stream.
Streamathon.
Stream-a-thon bike.
But everything I make, everything I make, they match that amount.
We give it all to charity.
Whoa.
That's a fucking.
If you don't.
Because the One Piece is real.
I love that.
That's a great.
That's a great idea.
It's just like you're.
I will be a size zero and I might die.
You would die.
It's 1,000 episodes.
It's one.
How many hours is that?
1,000 episodes, 1,049 episodes, 20 minutes.
How are you doing on your journey to leaning out?
Photoshop Body Goals00:07:59
Oh, I look really good, Nate.
I had a gay guy message me.
He does look great.
Can we pull up the.
Yeah, go ahead and pull up the picture.
Can we pull up the photo that Will posted?
437 hours.
Oh, that's too many.
That's a lot.
How many days is that?
I think that's four weeks.
Oh, my God.
Okay, also, Hassan, did you talk about how I got robbed of MVP on stream?
18 days.
That's not bad.
No.
I'm getting messages from people.
Wait, what?
We'll talk about it later.
Okay.
I would ask.
I had a gay friend.
Can you show the gay picture that Will posted?
Wait, what was gay about it?
You were shirtless.
You were shirtless and it gets to the end.
Austin liked it.
Yes, I did like it.
Yeah, I mean, this is a gay photo.
This is a gayest photo.
Austin asked a question earlier.
You can't.
So, look, imagine that.
I get a deal.
She's like, Ludwig, listen, his balls are all over the internet.
Let's not defend him.
So, cutie, from our mutual, I get a message from my I love this mutual our very gay graphical artist that does all our designs.
Sure.
No, everyone knows who it is.
And they say, I don't want to be gross, but oh my God.
And I say, you're so gay.
And then he says, God, he's just so fucking hot.
Like, you know, when you look at something sexy and your dick does that thing where it has a little contraction?
Oh, my God.
That's how I'm feeling right now.
It's the back.
His back is so wide.
I said, oh, my God.
Ha ha.
Uncomfortably.
Show the visuals.
I didn't laugh uncomfortably.
This is part.
We have these conversations all the time.
He said, tell him I want his entire upper body inside of me.
Sir.
And then I responded with this possibility.
I just want to say, I wanted to tell you that because the gays are looking, they are watching and they are like, you look too good and I don't like it.
Listen, I want to say two things.
I don't like it.
That is the most foul thing I've ever heard.
And B, thank you.
Yes.
That is an incredible ego boost.
If I could physically do it, I would climb in your ass.
Shoulders first.
Oh my God.
You look too good.
You need to stop.
Sorry.
We're supposed to do a nearly nude calendar.
I'm calendar.
I'm not doing that.
I'm in.
You're supposed to do a nearly nude calendar.
That is true.
I can wear it.
I can wear it.
This is my picture for my birthday month.
It'll be, I'll be in the kitchen and there'll be two birthday cakes covering my boobs.
Wow.
I love that.
What would bang?
The gauntlet has been thrown down.
Back on.
Ludwig is definitely nudes.
Ludwig's always met you, boys.
Why is Ludwig in your calendar?
Oh, it's like friends of the show.
Oh, okay.
Just in general, we want to see him naked.
That's why.
Yes.
I would love to do this.
I tried to do an underwear photo shoot with Hassan and Will.
Hassan declined.
Fuck yeah.
100%.
Which I don't know.
I'm not ready for it.
It's a lot bigger than mine.
It doesn't matter.
I'm not ready for it.
I'm not ready for it.
It's not the penis part that is a problem.
I need to give us a date.
But I will stuff my underwear.
If you give us a date, you'll stick to it.
I have been on a journey for a very long time.
I went through the...
No, no, no.
July.
July?
All right.
Okay.
I am working.
It's not about it.
I will not be working on my body.
We will be photoshopping my body.
Okay.
That's fine.
We will Photoshop our bodies, Steve.
Don't worry.
You boys got a lot of catching up to do.
That's true.
Austin is demonstrably the most in shape out of all of us.
All I'm going to say is, all I'm going to say is when the fat comes off, I'm big, big.
Okay.
Oh, I'm big, big.
You know, I'll take that as a look.
I love your body.
And it's not a competition, but I'll see you in July.
Have you ever been asked to climb in a man's asshole shoulders first?
Actually, I have.
That's the thing?
Yeah.
I guess that's a very common thing.
In fact, not only did I get asked, I was special.
How do you think I look like that?
We call it the spelunk.
Yeah, 25 years ago, I climbed in a guy that looked like me, and that's where I am.
What do you think Miley wrote the song about?
Yeah, it's the climb.
It's the climb.
Okay.
Well, I was going to talk about penis contraction.
Yeah, also.
I love penis contractions.
Let's talk about that.
And also after the paywall, we're going to climb inside of Will's asshole.
That's right.
After on the paywalled side, which you can access at patreon.com slash fear in booty boot camps.
No, I want to hear about this penis thing.
Okay, let's do it.
Can we talk about it?
Should we talk about it now behind the paywall?
Your paywall.
No, it's all of our paywall.
People's paywall.
People's paywall.
All right.
I'm going to round this out.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you as always for tuning in to fear.
And please do yourself a favor and check out all four of the amazing creators at this desk.
If you are a Patreon member, we have some spicy penis contraction content coming up through the paywall.
And also, Milf Manor episodes have been unlocked as well.
And I'm going to eat my salad.
And I will spend the next hour trying to suck off Hassan and Will.
Yes.
So thank you as always.
We're going to let him.
Go subscribe to my YouTube.
We're almost at 100K.
I want another button.
If I get one, I'm giving the first button back to Marsh.
Yay.
That's right.
Also, please subscribe to the podcast for the juicy, delicious insider access.
There's a second, the first playlist that Will Neff made was such a banger.
There's a second one that's actually coming out as well on top of the bonus content that you guys can access there.
And also, I'm going to do a plug that I never actually do.
I have a second channel.
I have a second channel where I have my vlog content up and more fun content that I'm posting on there.
The Shinkan Sen vlog that just came out.
I wasn't invited to one of those vlogs.
You would have been invited to the protein taste test and the dog adoption show.
I think you were trying to keep me away from lean beef, Patty.
No.
Well, you would have been great.
There are.
You would have been better than Ludwig.
There are ones of people on Reddit who agree with me.
You were literally supposed to be in Austin.
You were supposed to be in Austin.
You didn't check on me.
That's insane.
Okay.
Well, regardless.
I'm validating his feelings.
We'll be able to keep tweeting what QD validated.
Feelings will be validated further behind the paywall.
But yeah, check out my second YouTube channel.
You can access it as a secret channel, I guess.
Hassan's YouTube channel.
Also, put a playlist on the Patreon.
Yeah.
And it's the top five Taylor Swift song from all of our albums.
Yes.
I will put a playlist on the Patreon.
No.
Your playlist would be dog shit.
I'm canceling that.
Wow.
No, vetoing.
I'm vetoing your playlist.
By the way, this is a good thing.
Nobody comes to your Frank Sonat.
No, no.
No one wants Frankie Valley in the four fucking seasons, dog.
Okay.
This upcoming playlist.
I already cooked it.
It's already in the possession of Billy Ray of Brains, and it's old heads.
It's all old hip-hop.
Each week we'll have a theme from this point moving forward.
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
What?
Disneyland.
Oh, Disneyland.
Patreon has hit 15,000 subscribers, by the way, which means you're supposed to take us to Disneyland.
Unfortunately, you're going to have to book us a night in the Star Wars hotel.
Okay, that's in Disney World.
Yeah, that's the one we're going to.
Wait, hold on.
No, we, QD, we should all do it.
We should do a podcast.
No, that's the better one.
We need to do a podcast from Disneyland.
Yes, that's what I was going to suggest.
We need to do a podcast from Disneyland.
We can't talk about half the things.
From the cantina!
We're in the enchanted tiki room.
They don't give a fuck about that anymore.
I'm kicked out of Disneyland.
That's nothing that matters in my life anymore.
I'm not even that excited about Disneyland.
It's on my stream.
Gay Day Disneyland Win00:01:15
When, Yes!
When, win, win, win.
I don't know.
He feels so left out.
He feels so left out.
She already tells me she's not.
She can come with us.
Also, you were supposed to do it on my stream.
What happened?
Isn't there gay day day?
I'm a bigger creator than you.
I just thought.
I think there's a gay day at Disney World.
Can we go to gay days?
Gay days are in October.
At least they used to be.
Oh, fuck.
I don't want to go for the gay day.
Ew.
I'll stream an hour of it and then we'll vlog for the Patreon.
Love that.
Okay.
We'll figure it out.
We'll be able to do that.
Anyway, peace, everybody.
See you on the other side.
None of them are Mormons.
And so we're all cuddling.
We're in our groups of two, like Noah's Ark.
And Max, all of a sudden, his penis starts like clicking my back.
Oh.
And I am like during the contractions.
Wait, he was contracting in, like, near your butt.
I got that for you.
I've had a guy cuddle with me control and it was so hot.
Do they do it on purpose?
Yes.
It's voluntary.
I thought it, well, that's why he called him Ghost Boner.