Will Neff and QTCinderella debate adult entertainment stigma and UFO conspiracy theories before analyzing Megan Fox's booby-trapped engagement ring and Harry Styles' cultural shift toward delicate masculinity. They joke about a friend waiting 7,000 miles for Valentine's Day while discussing Aaron Rodgers' ayahuasca retreat and Ludwig's Japan trip. Ultimately, the chaotic mix of celebrity gossip and absurd speculation highlights how modern fandoms blend genuine anxiety with surreal internet culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Becoming a Porn Star00:05:17
I thought of something important.
No, this is important.
This is part of the podcast.
I've decided you should be a porn star.
Me?
Yeah.
I would.
Why don't you?
For the podcast.
No, for the podcast.
No, because like...
You presented it that like that would be a podcast.
This would save the pod.
No, why were you thinking about this?
Because the last, well.
Hold on.
No, because I was just at, I was just at Brooke A.B. Hunter Thieves' house.
A porn shooting.
I was at a porn shooting.
No, I was at Hunter Thieves' house and I was talking to Carolyn and she was like, yeah, way to bring up my sex life on the last episode.
And I was like, oh, my bad.
And then she was like, yeah, he likes to fuck like a gorilla.
And I was like, that seems like he should just be a porn star.
You should just be a porn star in my brain is what I realized in that moment.
You know, I've had this conversation and I think there still is an unfortunate reality where even though I'm all for adult entertainment and sex work.
You're afraid of the stigma.
Well, I don't think I'm afraid of it.
I think I understand it.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
Like if I ever want to work, if I ever want to work with like a charity or if I ever want to work with like crunchy roll, there's a possibility that they look at that and they're like.
It is hard to do voice acting after porn acting, I imagine.
We're really sorry.
We saw you fuck like a gorilla.
I would love to be a pornography producer.
Imagine me and Melcova doing the RE Death sounds in League of Legends.
That'd be so good.
Ow.
She got the throat for it.
Like, what do you mean?
It would just be good.
It would be good.
No, I've thought about wanting to be a porn producer and do like really weird experimental things where it's like an hour and a half long film, no sex.
And then at the end, like one really passionate.
Wouldn't everyone just skip through it?
I don't think so.
No, it's about, it's about the journey.
It's about the journey.
It's about the journey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Region mazen scene.
I think that's a 10-second skip through the story.
A porn for women.
Where it's like a meet cute.
He's a really great guy.
And then the end is he just eats pussy for like so long.
And he fucks like a gorilla.
Yeah.
No.
I don't know what that is.
Women don't want that.
That's why I'm saying he should be a porn star.
No, Not all.
Not all.
Sorry.
Not all women.
He doesn't fuck like a gorilla.
He makes passionate love.
He fucks like Manuel Ferrara, who doesn't have, doesn't fuck, but instead makes love every time.
Dude, Emmanuel Ferrara, his whisper is so iconic.
Yeah.
When he's like, fucking, he's like, yes, baby, yes, baby, you show me this, you give me this, you got my yes.
He's got dick-like Nalgene.
You know what I mean?
He's got like a thermos cock, but he is like always just like whispering sweet nothings.
I always refer back to this.
Kisses Sins, Johnny Sins' wife.
Yeah.
Obviously, she does porn and she fucks people all the time.
And I remember clicking on Kisses Sins with Manuel Ferrara, friend of the show.
Sure.
And I felt like I was not supposed to see that.
Why?
Because here was Manuel Ferrara, whom you know, taking the wife of another iconic porn star in a way that like they were bonding.
Oh, wow.
Like they were so college.
Yeah, they were so passionately like inside of one another, both of them.
I don't know how else to describe it that it made me feel uneasy.
Like I'm not supposed to be seeing this.
Like it wasn't performative.
Cutie, do you watch much porn?
Yeah.
You just popped off on that.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, fucking on the way here.
I really.
What are you into?
Lesbian porn and lesbian porn only.
Lesbian porn.
Boring.
Most girls.
Most girls are into lesbian porn.
What do you mean?
Why?
Because it's the only thing that's realistic.
Okay.
All porn and male is just like sell graphics.
So like that looks uncomfortable.
And all lesbian porn is like, that looks comfortable and clean.
Have you ever, well, maybe in the Patreon part, we can watch some like highly produced porn.
Yeah.
Because I think there's porn you would like, straight porn.
Probably.
Maybe.
Probably not.
The first time I saw porn vids.
What are those?
Very highly produced.
Like they're almost always on vacation.
Oh, great.
And there's like a little lead-in like, I saw my husband talking to another woman, and that's when I knew.
Oh, man.
I'm just going to fuck at them both.
I don't know if I would.
I don't think that's for women.
I think like.
We'll see.
I kind of want to find like a porn that she would be interested in.
Yeah.
Is that porn hunting?
Isn't that weird?
Like, I feel like Ludwig.
I feel like a lot of straight women like the blue is the warmest color type.
It's okay, guys.
Ludwig's friend watches porn too.
Oh, no.
He'll be fine if we watch porn.
That's a marketing Monday L.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Super Bowl Party Chaos00:06:30
It's not even a Monday right now.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, first of all, fuck you.
Why?
Oh, what the fuck is this shit?
What are you doing to me?
Well, I took him to a Super Bowl party.
I'm the cookie monster.
There's two left.
You are the cookie monster.
Yeah, they're pretty good, though.
Really?
And it's oatmeal with chocolate chip and white chocolate chips as well.
Not enough oatmeal X chocolate chip representation.
Always oatmeal X raisin.
Yeah.
Don't know why.
That's mid.
And raisins sauce.
Well, it's because people can fool themselves into being like, it's an opium raisin cookie.
It's not bad for me.
Yeah.
It's so bad.
It's just so bad.
It's so bad.
Yeah.
It's all very bad for you.
The oatmeal raisin cookie is the dessert equivalent of the Wendy's salad where people convince themselves it's good for them, but it's still like 2,000 plus calories.
No, it has like just a mountain of mayonnaise.
Yep.
So you watch a Super Bowl halftime show.
Yeah, I did.
What'd you think?
No, Come on.
I have got no idea.
Yep.
I have no idea who won.
Oh.
He told me it was the Dallas Cowboys, and I know that they are not playing.
Go boys.
I know that they're not a part of it.
It's the, you know, once in a lifetime greatest of all time quarterback versus, you know, the fucking manure eaters.
I don't know who he's talking about.
I'm talking, what's his name?
Joe Burrow?
Patrick Mahomes.
Yeah, that guy was injured at one point.
Well, I mean, from what I know, they put drugs in that boy's system.
He is not okay.
They said he's the goat.
They're like, everyone's pretty good.
One of the best quarterbacks.
Yeah, he's pretty good.
You know, that boy can throw a ball, that sort of thing.
Yeah, he can.
That boy good.
Yeah, so versus the Philadelphia Eagles who can't throw a ball.
Eat shit when they win to celebrate.
And also eat shit like horse shit.
They were when they lose as well.
They were greasing up lamp posts a week ago to prepare for the carnage that was going to be.
Wait, what?
Why?
Philadelphia is burning to the ground right now.
Marsh, pull it up right now.
I guarantee you there are riots in Philadelphia right now.
Yeah.
Because they lost their match.
They were going to riot either way.
They win.
They riot when they win.
They ride harder when they win, but they also ride when they lose.
Why?
What does rioting?
What does rioting mean?
The city is going to the ground right now.
Okay.
They're from Philadelphia.
Because they're just throwing temper tantrums.
I have, I'm bringing back a segment right now.
That's such a funny way to do it.
I am bringing back a segment.
America Me Up.
I'm an American.
America Me Up right now.
Okay.
America Me Up right now.
Okay.
Explain to me the temper tantrums.
I have to, well, I want to give you a story.
Okay.
Okay.
This is called the Santa Claus incident.
Okay.
This is the most defining character.
Like this, this story is such a good.
There's definitely riots.
Okay.
So I called it.
Yeah, it's a mess.
Okay.
In the 1968 season of the National Football League in a game between the Minnesota Vikings and the Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Eagles fans during halftime pelted a Santa Claus with snowballs and batteries.
Oh, yeah.
Classic.
They threw snowballs and D-batteries at Santa Claus.
Why?
What did Santa do?
Because some men just won't show, but listen, Philly, in the words of it's always sunny in Philadelphia, Philly fans are going to hammer something.
Wait, was this, this was before, this is when OJ was still on the team, right?
1968?
This is what OJ.
It says, it says the eventual rights to running back OJ.
Some fans wore buttons that said Joe must go.
Really?
Oh, in reference to the head coach, Joe.
That was my bad.
I was like, I was like, did this, did throwing batteries at Santa cause OJ to murder his wife?
Yeah.
Turns as though.
Allegedly, that's not.
I mean, he was cleared of that.
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Philly fans just love to hammer stuff.
That's crazy.
Whether it be a small child, a small animal, or, you know.
Or jolly old St. Nick.
So what does greasing up the lamppost do?
Well, that's a lot of people from climbing lampposts and then ripping them down by Beverly Hills Ninja rocking on them till they fall.
It's basically an Olympic sport in Philadelphia.
They were flipping cars before the game started.
Yeah.
So that's a good time to Uber to the game instead of park anywhere.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
It's a good time to just not be in Philadelphia.
Actually, maybe take note and just never come back.
We should do a riot punch podcast where we drink the always sunny in Philadelphia riot punch.
If you gave me $1,000 right now, I couldn't tell you where Philadelphia is.
Stop.
Chicago.
Stop.
I'm dyslexic.
I never learned geography.
No, no.
No, geography.
I don't know geography.
It doesn't attach.
It doesn't attach anymore.
You do not get to say I'm dyslexic.
I know.
You're dyslexic too, but it's in different ways.
Like, I don't know my rights and lefts either.
Wait, which state do you think Philadelphia is in?
Chicago.
Chicago is not a state.
Girl.
Girl, what's happening?
I thought it was proximity-wise, it's closer to Charlotte.
Philadelphia is in Pennsylvania.
Yes, but you thought Chicago was a state.
Which state is Chicago in?
There's no way.
Chicago.
Chicago, Chicago.
You think there's a state named Chicago out there?
New York, New York.
Chicago, Chicago.
That's the only one.
Chicago, Chicago.
Chicago, Chicago.
It's the wonderful state of Illinois.
Ah, Illinois.
Yeah.
That's alarming.
Good enough.
Good enough.
That is alarming.
Well, what's Kansas doing?
Do they celebrate?
They're just at their house.
They're having a good time.
Yeah.
Okay.
We were definitely not doing racist Native American chants that were, you know, historically offensive.
I just, we would never do such a thing.
Welcome back to the podcast where we don't do that sort of thing.
You could have kept the cut back in so natural, but instead you decided to.
No, I think it's funnier that way.
The Chicago State Confusion00:02:41
Yeah.
That they think in their minds, they're like, what kind of, how racist did they?
My nipple showed.
Yeah.
In a racist way.
Like, it was like odd.
Yeah.
Cinderella did blackface on her nipple.
Very cool.
It's a nod to old Super Bowls, you know?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
There's nothing that's not getting cut.
Okay.
Okay.
This is good.
This is supposed to be the female ladies episode of Yeah, why are you calling it a female ladies episode?
Yeah, what the hell?
Well, yeah, I left it supposed to be originally you suggested your new best friend, Valkyrie.
Yeah, I did.
And she is doing something right now.
She's too cool for me.
She's not my new best friend.
Like, make that clear now.
She says no.
And I thought maybe Pokemane, and she was like, I'm too cool for you guys.
Just kidding.
She had I tried to be her best friend and she was like, no.
Yeah.
Well, it was odd when you had her as your screensaver.
Whoa.
For like a year and a half after you knew her in person.
Don't look at my screenshaver.
What's your screensaver right now?
It's actually my cat right now.
Oh, thank God.
Cute.
Yeah.
It's fine.
And my dog.
Other current events things.
Did you guys see that the coolest photo in history ever was taken?
No.
Look up lightning hitting Christ the Redeemer.
It's a selfie of Will.
God knows.
People are saying this.
Like, there's hits.
Oh, no.
I saw that.
That looked particularly cool in this.
This is awesome.
Lightning struck Christ the Redeemer.
Bro, I feel like this is some shit.
Go see the other one where there's like a shit that like email listings and like grandma's all about.
I've not heard that.
That shit is so hype.
Christ the Redeemer was shocked by lightning, which means if you don't send this to 14 people, you're going to die.
Yeah.
Also, Guatemalans are coming into the country.
Vote for Ron DeSantis to make sure we have strong border security.
That's the type of shit.
Oh, damn it.
It did a piece of it.
Oh, there's one.
There's another one where he got hit right in the dome piece.
Yeah.
Why is Will Smith there?
Yeah, Will Smith reacts to violence.
That is literally the cover of a metal album.
Why was he getting shocked so much?
Why is Christ the Redeemer getting shocked so much?
Because he's the highest point.
Does this have to do with the UFOs, be honest?
No, I think it has to do with it being the highest point.
Hassan's an inside government leak.
Tell us about the USOs.
Tell us about those.
Tell us about the USSR.
Will Smith and the Dome00:03:25
I literally pulled my brother aside.
I was like, bro, what's going on?
Like, if there were fucking, you know, UFOs, like, you tell me.
He's like, first of all, there aren't.
I'm like, okay, you would say he's cringe.
And then he goes, and then he goes, and secondly, I would tell you nothing.
It's a federal crime.
And I was genuinely offended for a moment.
You fucking asshole.
I would do felonies from Rott.
Yeah, like, what the fuck?
I mean, he's, I mean, no, he can't.
Let's cut through the bullshit, though.
Okay.
Are we fucking in sucking aliens?
Dude, yes.
No.
Lame.
Wow.
Come on.
Wow.
Listen.
I don't think they'll be nice.
Is that crazy?
I don't think aliens would be nice to us.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Yeah.
I have a feeling that's what you guys think.
I just, I feel like I was talking about this on stream and everyone's like, dude, that's so weird.
Like, you don't understand.
I'm like, no, I want my penis to hear colors and see noises.
Okay.
Think an alien would do that.
Yeah yeah, you think an alien.
You think an alien would come down, alien would see Hassan Piker, and they're like, that's my man.
Now, this is the way I see.
This is the way I see it.
Every technology we develop right, always finds its way into pornography right, this is just the way of things.
VR, the internet they are literally cutting edge film.
It's always on the cutting edge.
It's basically, now, imagine you're a people capable of intergalactic light speed travel.
Imagine what those pocket pussies are doing, that is, taking your dick to the next.
You're not getting a pocket pussy, they're putting you on a farm.
No, i'm a black hole.
No yeah no, they are taking you.
You are the new cows.
Well, I just know, I mean it's.
You don't get out of that, you don't, as long as they milk me.
Like yeah, this one's for the ladies.
Yeah, ladies night, this is great.
Um no, it's just like it's.
It's, I don't know.
I mean the alien.
Sex uh, and and whatnot is is important for sure.
I thought you were going somewhere different with that.
I thought you were gonna be like, yeah, because porn is on the cutting edge of like every fucking field that.
Like, if aliens got here, it would be for porn, like like that's, that's what the world represents earth yeah, like they're like oh yeah, we're here to suck.
Like what's going on?
Amazing.
Yeah because like, think about it, you're right.
Like VR, VR porn is ahead of like everything else.
You know what I mean.
They're at the, the Porn Awards and they're like, and now our winner of new Starlet From Six Nebula Eight yeah, and and actually has is the throw note like, both in that nebula and also in our galaxy as well, they just want to, they just want to take over, they just want to take over nebula.
I wonder if they'd just be so better at sex though okay, they would be all jokes aside I, I have a firm belief that uh one, I do believe that, like you know, there's certainly other life forms out there.
Okay weird um, it's just that if they were capable of what is it?
It's called a Fermi paradox, I think where if, if alien life was capable of uh, you know, interstellar travel like, where they could just like cross galaxies and hit the speed of light and whatnot, they would be so like fundamentally evolved that they would one see us like, not even like ants.
Fermi Paradox Balloons00:14:30
But you know something even beneath that.
And two, I don't believe that they would be uh humanoids, because we always depict aliens as like the Asari, like sexy ass.
They'd be like jellyfish that eat lightning yeah, or or even something that you can't even see with your eyes, like something that you can't really understand like uh, like an interdimensional being, like a gas.
Yeah oh, so you're telling me that's what's in Ohio right now?
Yeah yeah no well no, this is Montana.
What's in Ohio is actually a train derailment that caused a, a massive explosion and, you know, a whole lot of toxic gas being released in the airwaves.
Yeah, but we're all talking about the UFOS, so we don't care.
But yeah, everyone's talking about the UFO, so we're gonna continue talking about that.
Yeah UFOS uh, that's Montana.
Another one was shot today in Michigan.
Montana, I think.
No, in Michigan.
In Michigan, under over Lake Horny or something Hoary or something.
You would know you're Lake Horny or Lake Eerie or no.
It starts with a whore, something about whores.
Uh-huh, find the lake whore.
No, why?
Why did you just say you in Michigan?
Yeah, i'm pretty sure it's still Montana, but I don't know, maybe i'm wrong.
Yeah, lake is that in Michigan?
That's that whore lake.
Lake Horry.
Is Lake Horny in Michigan or not?
Well, it's.
It's not like landlocked in Michigan.
I think it's adjacent to the Great.
It's not in Montana.
I follow my UFOs.
There was one in Alaska too.
Yeah.
Do you want to know what I think?
What?
I think it's just literally all weather balloons.
Like straight up.
They're just the American government is just straight up murking fucking weather balloons right now, left and right, freaking the fuck out.
We went full-blown balloons tower defense, bro.
We just got, we got a monkey throwing darts.
Because like looking at the reporting, it's like they'll say like, oh, it's like a spherical object that can make like 20 to 40 mile, you know, can make up 20 to 40 miles an hour like distance and has like, but is mostly floating and doesn't have like any kind of jet propulsion behind it.
Uh-huh.
Doesn't ever read Ender's game?
That's consistent with weather balloons.
No.
Ever read Ender's game?
No.
Hates us.
I don't hate you, but it would have been cool.
Will's like, it has nothing to do with the aliens.
I just wanted to mad.
I just wanted to know.
Yeah, and I didn't even read it recently.
I read it like 10 years ago.
I was just thinking about this.
Ender's game is all about like the human race preparing for a last conflict with aliens.
Oh, so stressful.
We would get so fucking washed.
Like, that's not even funny.
I don't know if I would fight.
I would try to trade.
What the fuck are you going to trade?
Taylor Swift lyrics?
Cookies.
That is an interesting thing.
Can any of you trade cookies?
I don't think so.
An interdimensional being has never had to be.
I'm throwing it back.
We already acknowledge this, okay?
I'm like, penetrate that G-spot, baby.
Fuck it, YOLO.
That's your choice is a plate of Choco Chips or Hassan's asshole.
I'm literally your fuck mule.
Okay.
I wonder, though, if aliens would go for confectionery treats, if they would be like, oh, we've never tried his balloon.
Why do they sound like that?
They're so excited.
Their voice is...
So are weather balloons spy balloons or who's spying on us?
Chinese.
Chinese?
China.
Why do they not?
What do they need?
I don't even think that like...
I'll tell them.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I love gossiping.
I got some federal secrets for you.
I'll be like, hey, what do you want to know?
I want to know.
You want to know where the silos are?
I'll say trade Z's first.
What's your secret first?
And then they tell me, and then I tell all my friends, and then I tell them some too.
Back.
I've solved it.
You've solved.
This was international conflict with me.
Yeah.
I don't get why we keep secrets if we could just gossip about them.
Yeah, that's true.
So are Hassan and I nominated for awards?
I haven't.
As soon as I walk into this freaking building, Will's like, tell us the truth.
Where we nominated?
Noministated.
Nomista.
Like four.
Give us the money.
I'm just like, I have a speech impediment.
And I'm dumb.
Are we nominated?
Am I busy?
No, I don't know.
I literally don't know.
I literally haven't logged in.
Come on.
It's my last priority.
I have a week to get it all sorted.
I can't log in.
I don't know what it's connected to.
That's crazy.
I'm looking at my admin thing right now and it's an after-party plan.
Quest access.
No, but I'm trying to get a sponsor to pay for one.
But potentially, potentially.
I heard you were potentially interested.
Yeah.
Through gossiping.
Wait, sponsoring that happening.
No, no, no.
He just wants to throw it.
Oh.
I thought you were like, yeah, sponsor probably.
What's up, everybody?
It's just pictures of me.
Why is he doing this?
Oh, you could.
Wait a minute.
Is that the money?
Statue of Jesus being shot by lightning?
Not Will Nap.
Isn't this the sickest picture?
Is this my face poorly photoshopped under Christ the Redeemer?
Yeah, exactly.
I would party.
What kind of party do you want to throw?
Oh, shit kicker.
I'm trying to get fucked up.
It's a shit kicker.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
Streamers don't have great track records with parties.
So I just want as long as you're gonna be guests in real time.
Okay, well then why don't you do the party the night before?
Do that.
I mean you haven't been invited yet.
Oh depending on if I get nominated that's some a league of his own Tybay.
Wow Wow.
When I think of Will Nev, I think that guy he's in a league of his own.
That's right.
I literally, I swear to God, I have not looked.
Okay.
The last, I haven't even sent out invites.
Damn.
Yeah, I'm a little behind.
I'm a little behind.
I'm supposed to send out invites tomorrow.
Can I ask a table question?
What?
Yeah.
Why are the Spanish-speaking streamers so much better than they're so much cooler?
They're so much better than that.
There's so much cooler.
Yeah, don't disrespect.
Like, I loved your streaming awards.
No, I understand.
When they fucking did it, I was like, see them?
Bro, this is better than the Oscars.
There's 10,000 people.
They're all doing Fortnite dances.
It was crazy.
No, like, but like, it was better than the American Legacy Institution award show.
Well, it just felt like everyone was there with the same goal of just like having fun and celebrating each other.
And we don't, because as soon as everyone leaves the stream awards, they start picking fights again.
And I'm like, oh, there we go.
Yeah.
Just be frank.
I'm sure there's drama.
We just don't see it.
Think about going and dragged to the streamer.
Oh, do it.
Like full carnival.
Yeah.
Brianna, high heels, gemstones.
I want to see like Super Bowl shit.
I haven't seen anything.
I feel so out of this.
It's a football game.
I don't fucking know.
Like the commercials and stuff.
Bitch.
How many touchdowns did Joe Burrow throw?
Oh, my God.
No, but my homie, Patrick Mahomi, how many touchdowns did he throw?
What was the final score?
It was actually a heartbreaker.
30-something 38-35.
Which is so like.
Wait.
So the Eagles actually did decently.
Yeah, they did.
I thought the Eagles were going to win.
Yeah, I did too.
They were winning mostly games.
Oh, I didn't bet shit.
The only thing I was going to bet, I was going to bet the over on everything, and I would have cleaned the fuck up.
If I had made the parlay I was going to make today, I probably would have made a few thousand bucks.
Damn.
I feel bad for Mango.
Why?
Mango is the most die-hard Eagles fan, and this is like their first Super Bowl and whatever, right?
It's like a permanent.
They won the Super Bowl like five years ago.
Eagles are semi.
But you should feel bad for him anyway because, you know, if you're if you're a fucking Eagles fan, like life is shit across the board in general.
If you're an Eagles fan, life is shit.
You play melee in 2023.
Life is also hard.
There's a lot going on.
Let's talk about what's really important.
What?
Aaron Rodgers is going on a four-day darkness retreat.
Here we go.
What does that mean?
It means he's locking himself in a light-devoid room.
He's going to do ayahuasca.
He's likely doing ayahuasca.
And at the end of his spiritual journey, he will decide whether or not he wants to join the New York Jets.
It's just, this is like, even I know.
I'm so afraid of the dark.
He's so weird.
It's so funny that the future of the New York Jets is solely reliant on one man on looking psychedelic man and having like probably full nude in the dark four days.
Like some spirit, spiritist Munde comes to him and he's like, what should I do?
And he's like, New York City.
It's just like, dude, Aaron Rodgers is definitely like, it's a cautionary tale for men to not get really into like Astro, like zodiac signs and fucking crystals and shit.
No, that's Spencer Pratt.
Okay, for the ladies out there that don't know sports, let's talk about the hills.
Sprincer Pratt and Heidi montage.
They're married.
By the last episode, he's fucking insane.
He's grabbing crystals and he's holding them to his head and he's like, I need to calm down.
And now I'm, now we're relatable to the ladies on Ladies.
Did Heidi, did Heidi get him into it or did he find it on his own?
I think he found it on his own, but I'm currently re-watching.
I'm watching Laguna Beach right now.
I have no idea what's going on.
Problematic.
And then I'm going to re-watch the hills.
Wait, why is it problematic?
Because like the first episode, let me tell you about the hot goss.
So like there's Lauren and she's a bit of a pick-me.
She's best friends with us, hot boy Steven.
And he's hot for a 17-year-old if I was 17.
For the record, I watched this when I was a kid.
No, okay.
I was a kid when I was fine.
Don't look at Marshall like we have to cut that.
We don't have to cut this.
We are not cutting this because I watched this when I was a teenager and I thought Steven was hot because he was 17.
I was like 13.
It's normal.
I also thought baby Symbol was hot when I was a baby too.
Hey, what?
Simple.
Stop saying that.
We were both babies now.
We have.
He's a lion.
At this point, we have to give the hard drive to the federal government.
We can't even legally, it is illegal for us to cut this now.
Anyway, Lauren and Steven are like friends and she has a crush on him.
And he has a girlfriend named Kristen.
And then she hooks up with Steven and it's drama.
And him and Kristen get back together.
And now Lauren just hovers.
She's an orbiter and she's like a pick-me.
And she's like, Steven, I'm right here.
And he's like, I like Kristen, but Kristen's 17 and he goes to college.
And then they break up.
And then they come back and him and Lauren hook up.
But then he still kind of wants Kristen.
It's a whole thing.
Wow.
Why do you watch this show?
I need him so lonely.
Is there nothing going on like on television?
Get into like gay dramas or some shit.
What are you touching my Ludwig's in Japan?
I know.
And you're solo.
Oh.
And the son has this big house.
Why did we start this a week ago?
This is so sad.
Let's move it.
Should have moved in.
I forgot.
No.
Okay, because here we go.
No.
Because I'm setting Ludwig up for failure.
You want to know why?
What?
Evil girlfriend shit tuning in.
I've decided as a surprise, he's flying home for Valentine's Day.
He might not.
And I'm really sad.
What if he doesn't?
He's not flying.
Wait, what?
Wait, has he said this?
No.
Cutie.
Oh, no.
Cutie.
So I would hate to move in and have to leave because he's definitely going to come home early as a surprise.
Cutie.
Oh, God.
You think this man is going to spend 20 grand?
I would host plane tickets to come spend Valentine's Day with you.
Yeah.
And then go back.
No, I don't think he'll go back.
Oh, he's going to stay here permanently for you.
He's just coming back.
Yeah, because, well, he was going to come home on the 18th.
And so it's like the 14th isn't that far away.
Oh, he's not coming back.
I know, but maybe.
I mean, dude, that's.
Listen, I have the heart pizza ordered to eat alone.
I'll be fine, but we shouldn't have done it together.
You ordered.
We'll make a deal.
We'll make a deal.
Deal.
We'll make a deal.
Okay.
He comes back on the 14th.
Great.
Great.
Whatever.
If he doesn't, sleepovers.
Sleepover.
Okay.
This is going to be great.
Can we build?
Make confections for each other?
Confections.
Confections.
I have an announcement.
What?
One of the doors upstairs is locked, unfortunately.
I think I, like, in a haze, locked one of the bedroom doors.
Well, are you saying, like, we're not going to be able to figure out how to open it?
What?
Pillow fort in the living room.
Yeah, pillow for it in the living room.
We don't even care about that living room.
No, no, no.
It's fine.
We can do it.
I need to sleep in your bed.
I just okay.
That sounds not fun.
That sounds fun.
I need my personality.
I feel like Charlie and the chocolate factory.
I need my personal space.
It sounds fun.
Oh, God.
I don't wake up and I'll be like, breakfast, everybody.
And then we'll walk around in the sun.
Yeah.
And we'll get coffee together.
Yeah.
We'll go for a run, play battlefield.
I will be doing none of these things, even if you guys are here.
Let's get a puppy.
I have a routine.
Well, I will be getting a puppy after I come back from Japan, which we are going to Japan.
You want to come with us?
I'm not going.
No, I'm so busy.
There's a reason I didn't go with my boyfriend.
I'm planning a dumbass award show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be okay.
Maybe someone got nominated for his own.
They send you that code so you could check it out.
No.
I just need to do it on my computer.
Well, no, that's the reason.
No, I'm not.
Well, I have to do it on my computer.
I have to, there's a reason I can't access it on my phone is because I will leak it.
And it's very important not to leak any of this.
Planning a Dumbass Award Show00:15:05
Yeah.
Okay.
This is my baby, this show.
I can't leak it.
I haven't looked at the panel either.
The panel changes everything.
Who's on the panel?
Oh, the panel's insane this year.
The panel's so much better than last year.
I have a hundred people on the panel.
And it's like people, it's from like org owners to agents to people that have been in esports forever.
Why are we not on the fucking panel?
Because you're a streamer.
You can't be a streamer on the panel.
That doesn't make sense.
That's weird.
That doesn't make sense.
No.
Let's judge streamers.
I mean, let's keep it a buck.
Let me keep something a buck real quick.
What you did that so streamers can't influence it, correct?
For themselves, maybe for nefarious reasons.
Did you see Ludwig's stream where he went through the nominations?
No, what did he do?
He was basically playing Double Dutch to see which categories he could massage for himself because he knew he could only be nominated for three.
And he was going through with his fan base and being like, I can win this one, right?
And then like changing Ludwig in every space.
Bad guy.
Just a bad guy.
I mean, he's going to win an award anyway.
You guys know.
More seasports.
Oh, I was just making a joke about the same.
No, the same joke that Hassan makes every year.
He slept with the host.
He's going to give him an award.
That's cool.
I decided I'm having sex with Ludwig this year.
Nice.
Don't even know if I'll win it on.
Don't even know if that'll get me an award doing it just because.
Don't worry, guys.
He'll totally, he'll be coming back on the 14th.
Yeah.
I'll be busy.
Yeah.
To have sex with me.
Yeah, I like to do the thing that us ladies, not all ladies, but most ladies like to do where we just decide something in our brain and it's not real.
Smiley face.
What's your ideal 4th of July Valentine's Day look like?
He's so patriotic.
He can't even pay for it.
For him, love.
That's what I love.
The love that he feels is for the United States of America.
I wake up, I make waffles, and they're shaped like hearts because who doesn't love heart things?
Right.
Then I go on a little hike maybe.
I sit and I read my book maybe.
And then it's couple time because Valentine's Day is also about self-love.
And so then you go back, you have charcuterie, love charcuterie, chocolate dip strawberries.
Maybe go to fondue.
You got to have sex, I guess.
What?
And then you go to bed.
Let's dial that back.
You sound super excited about that.
I guess.
Whatever.
Okay.
Valentine's Day.
I just, I've done it.
Can you get heart-shaped things?
I've never in a million years.
I've like, it's just every other day.
Just work.
That's my, that's my assessment always.
Oh, man, you spoil some lucky girl.
Yeah, we wonder why this guy's all alone.
What do you mean?
You guys were doing a sleepover.
No, I just, I don't know.
I don't really place a lot of value and stuff like that.
Have you been watching?
I like heart-shaped things.
Have you been watching Last of Us?
Yeah.
When you watched episode three, did you think of you and me?
No.
Oh, sad.
No one's saying that.
Yeah.
What?
Is that what you thought?
No.
I mean, we would definitely survive apocalypse together very well.
It'd be a lot of fun.
Yeah.
We'd have a lot of fun.
And we'd also find on love.
I'm on board with that.
I'm on board with that.
I like that.
Are you grossed out by man love?
Is that what it is?
I'm homophobic.
Wow.
I knew it.
Swifties, man.
I was hoping you guys would figure it out.
No, I haven't seen The Last of Us Three, but I heard, or Last of Us Two, episode three, but I've heard it is Last of Us.
Episodes.
I haven't seen them.
I'm dyslexic.
You haven't seen it.
No, but I heard it's gut-wrenching.
It's very good.
Have not sobbed.
Really?
Yeah.
That's going to be good for you.
You should watch it once a week.
I honestly, it was like, I think that that episode was so good that four like kind of had like the weight sucked out of it a little bit.
But then five really picked it back up.
Have you seen the last one?
Yeah.
So good.
I think it's important, not only because it's just a fan fucking tastic episode of television, but also we do not get enough Burly gay representation.
I agree.
I think we are simply awash with twinks right now.
We're up to our goddamn twinks.
He said bear rights.
I said bear rights.
I want grizzly diesel.
I'm trying to think of like man gays.
Brokeback Mountain.
Who's in that again?
Jake Jillenhall.
I know.
I just don't.
Oh, Jake Dylan Hall and who?
Heath Ledger.
Yeah, neither of them are bears.
No, I don't.
I was trying to remember.
Does Jake Gyllenha get fucked?
I hope he gets fucked.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen Broke Back Mountain, but I was just thinking it's like so popular.
I think it's fucked passionately.
I mean, the way that you want him to get fucked.
I'm Googling Brokeback Mountain.
You know the Jake Gyllenha drama.
Cutie doesn't like Jake Gyllenhaal.
What?
For obviously.
I'll bring a slideshow.
Oh, because he dated fucking Taylor Swift.
He took her scarf.
It's more than that.
Her scarf.
Who the fuck cares about a scarf?
It represents so much more.
Took her virginity?
Well, it's kind of up in the air.
If it was John Mayer, or I think it might have been John Mayer.
I don't know.
It's really confusing.
So basically, she's selling the image that both of these men took her virginity so that she can play them.
You are teetering on the edge of what would potentially seem like anti-Taylor Swift.
I'm going to have to stop you there.
We wanted to cut that.
Wait, wait, remember Swifty.
Why am I a Swifty?
Because the Jets like Taylor Swift.
The Jets like Taylor Swift.
Wait, what?
Really?
Yep.
The Jets, Taylor Swift Alliance is pending.
It's not pending.
It's official.
Why?
No, no, no.
Pending means it's like ongoing.
No, pending means like it's about to happen.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She's dyslexic.
Yeah, I'm dyslexic.
Yeah.
It's a word for ongoing.
Ongoing.
Literally ongoing.
Or continuing.
Yeah.
There's so much more I want to talk.
Oh, part of the reason why I did not watch the Super Bowl.
Let's talk about me.
Okay.
What really matters.
Part of the reason why I did not watch the Super Bowl or go to one of these parties or whatever.
It's because you're not fun.
No one invited you.
It's because no one invited me because I'm not fun.
Let's get that out of the way.
I would sit there and go, sports ball.
I'm not interested.
I bring a book, even though I never read books, just to be like, look at me.
I'm reading a book right now.
You're talking a lot of shit for someone who actually enjoyed the Super Bowl next to me last year.
Oh, I had a lot of fun next year.
Yeah, it was great.
Like, episode three talk, you're the Ron Swanson gay, and I'm like the fun, outgoing.
Like, that's how our relationship works.
Like, you're a curmudgeon, but I see a good heart.
Ooh, I like that word curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon.
You literally made me the OG curmudgeon in your fucking, you know, Christmas carol.
I don't know what curmudgeon is, but I like it.
It's literally that.
It reminds me of a kumquat.
But anyway.
And those are yummy.
The real reason why I did not go, even though everyone was like, Hasan, please come to my Super Bowl party.
You're so sick.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
That is you.
It is what I, that is me.
Okay.
He's because there's this magazine called King Kong magazine.
Yeah, that's cool.
And I have, I did not know what the fuck they were.
And then I looked them up and I was like, this very weird, like, fashion.
It's a Berlin magazine.
Yep.
That's like very weird, very strange, like culture, lifestyle, fashion, art.
It's like a high art type magazine.
And I guess they want me to do cover.
They wanted me to do the cover.
He started his period.
And yeah, I did a photo shoot in the woods in the dark.
I would just like to mention.
He sent us the picture of blood all over his face.
Yeah, you were concerned.
Unprompted in our group chat after I said, you guys still down to do the podcast?
And I was like, oh my God, what happened?
I was so worried that he had like cut a finger off or something.
He was just sprayed.
Yeah, he's so covered in blood.
Yeah.
My entire body was covered in blood.
He continued to compliment you.
Yeah.
You did say that was buff.
That's so sweet.
I look kind of buff.
I look kind of buff.
I just didn't.
I told him to get a tamp on.
Yeah, that was just.
You still have blood under your nails.
It's very hard to get it out.
Yeah.
How do you think ladies feel?
It's not real blood.
Well, I just want you to empathize with ladies more.
Yeah, no.
I mean, if I was like, if someone was having a period, like the amount of blood I had on my body.
That happens.
That's a medical emergency.
I just had such a cute idea.
What?
Should we get her nails done during our sleepover?
Valentine's Day when Ludwig doesn't come back.
No, he's coming.
You should do a video chat and go to Little Tokyo and have ramen and he should have ramen in Tokyo and you guys can have a dinner date.
Both have breakfast date.
Oh, yeah.
You could have breakfast noodles in Japan, I suppose.
You know what his head ass said to me?
I said, he was like, I'm going to go to Japan.
And I said, Ludwig, I would rather, if you're going to Japan, for you to miss the streamer awards than you to miss Valentine's Day.
And then he said, I can't miss the stream.
Why is Valentine's Day so important to you?
Because it's just such, it's the one day where you're like, okay, slow down.
Special.
Because I don't do that enough.
I don't slow down special.
That is so erroneous.
That's a Christmas.
You are using so many big words.
That's for family.
Anniversary.
We don't know when our anniversary is.
What?
Why don't you just use the fucking like the first date?
No, no, because I don't even know when that is.
What?
I know.
It's messed up.
Because we sent him on a computer.
I know that's a good idea.
No, we were friends.
He was nervous.
He drank.
Yeah, and then we would kiss you.
We were friends for so long that it's like, but okay, technically our anniversary is like in, it was over his sub-a-thon because I remember he missed our anniversary because of the sub-authon.
I'm sorry, bitch.
What?
You said you didn't have an anniversary and then you said this might miss your anniversary.
I know, but we decided when the date was.
It's a whole thing.
It's confusing.
Honestly, I don't care about anniversaries.
I just like Valentine's Day.
Why?
Okay, so why?
Because everything is shaped like hearts and so cute.
Okay.
When else is everything shaped like that?
Be honest, you're the only person I know in like my serious friend group that has any reverence for Valentine's day.
Everything's shaped like hearts.
No other time of the year is everything shaped like hearts.
I don't understand why that matters.
I I literally I thought it was like all made up so that people can buy stuff.
Yeah, I do buy stuff, not to be like the shaped.
Actually, a good gift on valentine's day, I expect chocolate covered strawberries, but the good kind and flowers.
What's the good kind of chocolate strawberry?
Oh, i'll tell you.
If you order chocolate covered strawberries from like Susie's Berries yeah, i'm calling you out Susie Berries.
It's chocolate dip.
It's not real chocolate.
Uh oh, it's candy melts, it's not.
I guess we're gonna have to drop that sponsorships.
We're sorry for like 1-800 flowers.
It's not real chocolate.
That's the second sponsor.
Dude, shut the up.
You're ruining.
Or Manscape, just kidding.
Oh, actually I love Manscape.
They sponsor all my.
So yeah, we love Manscape.
I could probably get us a Manscape sponsor.
How long have you been a valentine's day person for?
Oh, since I was a kid i'd buy myself chocolates.
Oh, do you eat the chalk hearts?
Yeah, I have a bunch of my house I made a bunch of.
Do you want to see the cookies I made?
Yeah, i'll send them, Marsh.
Do you like show stuff so the viewers can see?
Okay perfect, i'll send it to Marsh, so the viewers can see too.
Marsh, there he is.
You know what I like to do on valentine's day?
What jerk off?
Well, one really good meal.
Yeah, that's nice, that's it.
You know, just some really dank food.
Yeah, I made some cute.
I made some cute cookies.
Wow, one of them says W Riz.
One says my cuck.
Wait, these are all let's soak.
Pee on me.
Bush did 9-11, they're so nice, pee on me, what so?
So like, Ludwig has one of these and then is like oh, let's do analysis.
No, they're just cookies.
I could do the super party, like crazy.
Do you think the one that says throat goat audio listeners I dabbed?
Oh my god wow, every episode she's got to mention she's the throat goat whatever, bring it up.
Yeah, you guys have never celebrated a valentine's day, ever.
No, I mean I, I celebrate them, but like, i've never had a friend or a partner who has, like felt the imperative of having to celebrate.
Oh really, am I weird?
Like really into, like really investing?
No, i'm not that.
I'm not that invested.
I'm not, i'm not, i'm not.
It's just the one time, oh my god.
It's the one time a year that i'm like, yo pause, this is our day.
Okay, you could do that's invested, and also you can I.
I just want to.
I just want to let you know, I want to let you know.
I don't want to alarm you.
You could do that like all the time i'm too busy.
No no no, but you could just be like.
You could just be like.
This is yeah, but not everything is shaped like a heart.
You cook half the shit anyway.
Just make it with a heart.
You know what I literally mentioned?
Shirkutary Blake, make the fucking little Goba ghouls with a heart.
Okay.
And you said heart waffles.
You can make the heart waffles.
Caroline and I are so not invested in Valentine's Day that we plan around Valentine's Day.
I know.
She told me, she was like, yeah, if you, if, if, uh, if you have nothing to do on Valentine's Day, just text me.
And I was like, yeah.
No, he's coming.
He's going to show up.
Surely.
I like that people in her group of friends, like immediate vicinity, are like.
Everyone's talking about it.
Giving like a health check.
You know what I mean?
Maya's like, do I need to fly in?
Hey, don't worry about it.
I know.
I saw your boyfriend is, you know, 7,000 miles away.
She's going to be like one of those widows in Nantucket up in the widow's watch waiting for her husband to come back from a whaling trip after eight years.
He's coming.
She's like, once the boat's filled with Scrimshaw.
No, no, I'm sure.
I'm sure he'll.
He's coming.
I'm sure he'll call you on the phone.
Pete Davidson Health Check00:14:54
I have a theory.
Did you specifically bring that up on this podcast in the hopes that Ludwig will watch the podcast and it will incept the message that he needs to change his flight?
No, no, no.
It's better if he doesn't because then I am mad at him.
What?
Got to explain that.
Because then the next day, I'm mad at him.
And he's like, why are you mad at me?
I'm like, because you didn't fly home for Valentine's Day.
And he's like, why would I do that?
And I'd be like, because you should have known.
But why is that better?
Because now if he flies home, I'll be like, you only flew home because you saw the freaking podcast.
But why would you be mad at him?
Can we just, can we just?
Ah, okay, okay.
I got to say something here.
Let's just, let's just address something.
I don't think.
Wait, when is Valentine's Day?
It's two days.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't think he can get a ticket.
He has to be on a plane now.
I don't think he can get a ticket on time.
So this podcast coming out is going to have no bearing on whether or not he makes it home on Valentine's Day.
He's going to get so many pings on Twitter that I'm like, oh, you're going to have a good time.
Yeah.
I mean, he's going to make content out of it for sure.
Yeah.
Oh, well, of course.
How my friend's podcast stole $20,000 from me in the form of a Japanese airplane ticket.
Did you guys see?
I had to pull this up to verify it.
Did you see the MGK Megan Fox?
They broke up.
They broke up.
Stop.
I'm devastated.
You know what was really insightful?
Caroline saw the news and the first thing she said was, Megan Fox has great fake tits.
That was her insight immediately.
What is that?
What?
Caroline, what does that have to do with...
Wait, wait, wait.
We need to talk about this because, I mean, they're, let's be real.
They're both.
How did she get the ring off?
They're both my favorite.
Oh, yeah.
What's up with the ring?
The ring was booby trapped.
So if she ever took it off, it made her bleed.
You didn't hear that?
It has like, you know, like...
It's got teeth.
It has teeth.
Like a vagina dentata.
Yeah.
It has teeth that like are pointing down.
So when you try to pull up, they stab you.
I think these people should be in jail.
Yeah, you and everybody else.
No, like literally.
Yeah, they're weird.
But like, who's the...
So I was obviously joking, but like, who's the target market for like Megan Fox and what's his fucking face?
Just like that, you have to be the most annoying fucking person to be like, oh my God, they're so sick.
You are in some hot water.
They have a lot of, they got a lot of love.
What are you going to do?
Mention Nicki Minaj next?
You better relax.
Wait, do they?
Do people love their love?
They love their love.
They love their love.
Really?
Yeah, people love anybody's love.
People are just weird.
People, we're weird.
No, that doesn't make sense.
That's weird.
No, because they were like the pinnacle sad boy sad girl.
They're so gross.
Sad boy hot girl.
You know, because he's like obtainable hot and she's like not obtainable.
She was also like had like a Wednesday action.
Who was she just with?
Wasn't she with someone?
Didn't they both break up and there was like drama and then they got together?
Well, the famous line, which makes me laugh to this day, is when she met him, she was like, do you smell like weed?
And he went, I am weed.
Oh, that's actually, you know what?
He got me, actually.
I hope he comes over on Valentine's Day.
Your phone.
Oh, I know.
Well, I pulled it up intentionally because after they break up, she unfollows everyone on Instagram besides Eminem.
March, Google how old Megan Fox is right now, please.
Stop it.
She's like 35.
She's like 35 and hot.
That is so unacceptable.
You are never too old for drama.
You are 36 years old.
You're a grown-ass woman.
You are dating the gas station cigarette.
Okay.
China should talk to her.
She loves it.
She loves the tea.
Machine Gun Kelly's hot, though.
No, he's not.
Yeah, he is.
He is so weird looking, bro.
What the fuck?
You know what it is?
You just got trapped.
You just got trapped.
Are you ready for this?
White guys have a cheat code.
What is it?
Tattoos.
Oh, yeah.
Do you ever find, if you ever think like some guy looks like very cool or very hot, it's like a white dude.
If imagine him without tattoos.
What are we doing here?
Imagine Machine Gun Kelly without tattoos.
Will you Google it?
See if there's a picture.
Machine Gun Kelly without tattoos.
Machine Gun Kelly is like a six foot four blonde hair, blue eyes.
Skin walker.
He's hot.
He is the most normal looking motherfucker on the planet.
I think he is.
Music video or something.
Yeah, I think he's...
I do think the tattoos help him be hot.
Yeah, he's sad boy shit.
Yeah.
Listen, everybody is in the cheat code.
He is the pinnacle of I can fix him.
Yeah.
Pete Davidson.
Same as Pete Davidson, but Peevet Davidson has more swag to him.
Peavet Davidson.
I love Pete Davidson.
Really?
Yeah.
I love it.
I love Peace Davidson for like you've said like I have a speech impediment.
Every time you make me a stroke and I'm dyslexic.
I'm sorry.
Every single time you brought Pete Davidson, like you have said like one thing that's related to a penis.
We have to address this.
Does that have something to do with it?
Obviously you said Piss Davidson or Peavett Davidson Peter?
It's Freuden.
Freuden.
So what's up?
Is it the cock?
Like is that a no?
I think he's funny.
I think he's attractive enough that I think he's funny.
Yes.
I used to watch him on freaking like guy code on MTV or Wild and Out like forever ago.
His college stand-up.
I used to watch that shit.
I was Pete Davidson fan before Harry.
You're fucking Pete Davidson head.
Like, holy shit.
What?
Me?
You were Pete Davidson head.
Well, yeah, he got a little unfunny recently, but it's okay.
No pressure, Pete.
You're fine.
I mean, he was in bodies, bodies, bodies, and that was a pretty good movie.
I haven't seen it, but his last stand-up was pretty yarn.
But that's okay.
You know, we all go through hard times.
It's always like, I feel like he's always like, yeah.
Life is fucking weird, isn't it?
I'm crazy.
No, he's not like that.
But that's how I think of him.
I feel like he's been through shit and he's very empathetic and he's just there.
He's just like a little Pokemon for women.
And sometimes women just want a Pokemon.
And he's a tall, handsome Pokemon.
Okay.
Is Pete Davidson a jock?
No.
He'll never be a Pokemon.
Okay.
He's not.
Pete Davidson is just...
He's just a funny person.
No, you're fucking Hitmonchamp.
What do you mean?
Wait no, the one no no monkey the the, the prime ape yeah, prime ape, um.
But Megan Fox is now following Eminem Sure drama.
Timothy Chalamay, which I don't know, the drama there, who knows?
And Harry Styles.
Yeah, maybe she is just trying to Harry Styles and Timothy Chalamay.
I don't know the tea, I was trying to figure it out.
Probably probably dudes that Mgk didn't like yeah, because that denominator.
Yeah, I was trying to figure out if there was like a if, if the tea was spilled like.
But it doesn't look like it.
There's been an explanation as to why.
That's just literally, is the explanation why no, what if she cheated on him with them or something like crazy?
I don't know why would you follow them?
Nah, that's just some petty ass ex-girlfriend.
No, she's just yeah.
Well, which is weird because like again, you're 36 years old, like what the are you doing?
But then again, every single thing that they did like they behaved like teenagers.
So I guess that's the reason why people like it.
I am everyone's saying she's so, they're like, she's so funny, she's so real for this, but I don't know what.
I don't, I don't know.
I think we, as imagine Ludwig and I break up.
I unfollow everyone besides, Harry Styles to Just and me.
Oh what, she's thinking about me doing porno?
Not again, I didn't, you were not even on there on the list.
She went Harry Styles immediately.
Well, he's the cutoff.
Yeah, Harry Styles, not a sex Harry Styles.
Beat Pete Davidson.
She wants to rip those overalls off.
So okay, explain to me Harry Styles.
What's this?
Why do I have to explain anything?
You explain to me a hot woman okay, I mean, I could, which one?
I don't know?
Give me a woman.
I'll explain it right now.
Um um, Lena Dunham.
No, what have you done?
Are you proud of yourself?
No okay, she was literally in one of the retweets that I just did, or I was looking through.
Someone said, Lena okay, that's where it came from.
Okay um, what?
What is the?
What's the appeal of Harry Styles, hair styles?
I feel like i'm explaining the psychology of women to you guys and I don't know if you deserve it.
It's the ladies episode.
Something changed, what?
Something changed right?
70s and 80s, hot guys, mustaches burly yeah, chest hair thick yeah, veiny guys like us.
Now, hot guys wave, yeah.
Delicate dandy lads, uh, us ladies, we like twinks too.
Yeah, when did that like?
Yeah, what?
Let's not do that anymore.
You tell the rest of the, yeah, i'll call them.
Can you call the ladies?
Are us um, i've decided no um, I don't know.
I think because as women, we've spent so many years not being understood, we've been so many years of us having to adjust to your culture, that finally you see someone who cares about fashion and you look at someone that like sings about breakups and is like emotional, hairy style, cares about fashion.
That's what you're saying, yeah, he's got good, he's got good taste.
Those overalls.
Don't act like you.
Don't wear pearl necklaces before him.
I think I did, but that's, That's besides the point.
I'm going to check.
No, no, no.
I definitely did.
I definitely did, but that's besides the point.
Harry Styles was like more, I think he was like more cutting-edge fashion in like 2015.
Those overalls that he wears, I like those though.
Yeah, I think he's high fashion.
He sings about like emotional things.
He's like an emotional guy.
And women, more than ever, we just want people that will understand us for once in our goddamn lives.
I like Harry Styles' music.
Some of the outfits that he wears is really fucking weird, though.
You're just mad because you can't wear them.
That's not projecting.
You've literally seen me cross-dress.
I fucking rock that shit.
You did rock it.
So I'm not even talking about that.
I just think like it's sad.
He was like, so I've never seen someone more sad about the lack of plus-size dresses than the song.
I worked at Old Navy for like five years.
I've never seen someone more sad.
Yeah.
The rest of us were dressed like this son looked like he was on his way to a public library.
I had like the one ugly stepsister from Shrek.
I filled it though.
That mu moo, that pregnancy dress, dude.
Oh my God.
I had titties on stats.
I was on deck, dude.
God damn, I had bazookas.
Anyway.
Okay.
Well, since this is ladies' episode, I want to do something.
I'm going to stop going at ladies' episode with me and all my girlfriends.
Yeah.
I want to do something that's very important for me.
One of my favorite shows that prominently features ladies in the paywall proportion of this episode.
That's right.
We're watching MILF Manor.
Oh!
Okay, perfect.
I haven't watched it.
I'm excited.
You're about to watch.
I thought I'd be a MILF when I was younger.
You could be.
You could still become a MILF.
Yeah, I know.
So this could be.
The only thing that you're missing is a child.
I don't want maybe 20 more people.
But I can still be a MILF without a kid, right?
Yeah.
No, I think mother is like the main component.
But I have a dog.
Ooh, it's a good question.
This is a good porn question.
It's like MILF.
Is it mother-aged or does it?
Nah, there are definitely some women that get filed away in MILF who don't have kids.
Yeah, definitely.
Okay.
All right.
Well, we will be finding out about that behind the paywall, ladies and gentlemen.
That's right.
At patreon.com slash fearand, we will be watching the last episode of MILF Manor.
We're not even starting with the first episode.
We're diving straight the fuck in to episode four because that's the episode I want to watch.
And I'm going to be telling you guys.
I'm excited.
I'm going to be walking you through.
Like a fucking shit.
Mack time.
Let's build the fort.
Oh my God.
When the 14th comes.
And you are alone.
I'm not.
With your heart-shaped pizza.
Can we actually do a sleepover?
Yeah.
I'm excited.
Content night.
I'm down.
Sure, I'll do it.
Why not?
Fuck it.
Board games.
Fort building.
Yeah.
And a tattoo.
Honestly, let's just go to Kai's house because it's all wired up already.
We just take it.
Kai won't even notice one of the rooms being taken up.
Yeah.
Nice.
So the last thing I'll plug is people should be getting excited about streamer rewards.
Yes.
Yes.
This is coming out on Monday.
So by next Monday, voting will have either be announced.
Voting will either be announced on Sunday or next Monday.
So is voting closed right now?
Nominations are closed right now.
And then the nominees for each category will be announced either on the 18th or the 20th.
It's crazy that I can't give a date, but it's literally because I have to wait for the announcement video to go out.
The announcement video can't go out until I'm done locking in musical performers, which I'm really close on, and red carpet people, which I'm really close on.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us on Fear End this week.
We appreciate you so much, and we'll see you next time.
I'm sorry.
I still don't understand.
How did they find like six moms that want to fuck younger men and six men that want to fuck older women and they're all related?