Ali "Myth" Kibani and Marsh explore contrasting materialism, Turkish censorship, and masturbation techniques before debating fitness goals and Valorant skills. They analyze Cutie's League of Legends struggles, discuss the dark novel What Made Madison Run, correct Bjerkson's nationality to Danish, and reflect on Myth's departure from TSM following FDA sponsorship. Ultimately, the episode blends personal anecdotes with gaming critiques to highlight the absurdity of internet fame and the complexities of modern digital communities. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Christmas Special with Ali00:03:56
The dearborn devil.
Is that my name?
The dearborn devil.
The architect.
Chess boxing legend.
The Michigan monster.
That's Michigan.
That's right.
Also known as Ali mythological Kibani is in here in the building today.
What's up?
On a special episode.
On a Christmas special episode.
An intimate Christmas special.
That's why you could tell.
I'm Christmased up right now.
This is my Christmas Hawaiian shirt because it's red and green.
I like that.
It's Christmas Hawaiian.
Yeah.
I didn't know that was a theme of shirts.
No, it's not all stops here.
I made it up.
I don't think it's a real theme.
I just believe that this.
It's appropriate.
Oh, yeah.
You might want to fix the.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
True, true, true.
Okay.
I was just making sure that we had the audio ready to go.
That's right.
We have a very special episode of Furan today.
Of course, my co-host Will Neff is unfortunately not here.
He died again from another self-sucking accident.
He died?
He did.
We could do that trend on TikTok.
You seen that TikTok trend?
Where it's like zoomers going up to their parents and being like, Will Neff day.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Oh, not you.
Sorry.
Marsh got me a gift.
Oh, shit.
My bad.
That's another.
I got you a Christmas gift.
You did give me a Christmas gift.
You didn't give me...
This is two years in a row.
No, Here's the thing.
The spirit of Christmas has entered my heart this year, and next year you're getting a gift.
Okay, we're going to talk about that in a second.
I'm going to look at what this man got me.
This is Marsh.
We're going to figure out if we're paying him too much or not.
Black marshmallows.
What is this?
It's a...
What is that?
It's a spike micro pearl bracelet with spikes on it.
That's hot.
That's right up your alley.
This is...
It is.
That's a san and a fucking bracelet.
It's so angsty.
Let me help you.
It's like typical Marsh.
No, I got it.
I got it.
I have to learn how to do it on my own.
You know what I mean?
Like a big ball.
I'm not going to ever be able to do it.
True.
That's you.
Dude, you are so emo.
Thank you.
Thank you, Marsh.
Marsh got me a Christmas gift.
I got you a Christmas gift last year.
Yes.
I got you Air Force Ones.
Well, yeah, I wouldn't.
I feel like shoes are not something you would throw.
I got you Air Force Ones.
Yeah.
And you did not throw them away.
Yes.
No.
Or donate them.
Or give them to somebody else.
That's insane.
Is that something that someone would do?
Like, normally, you'd be like, oh, I hate these Air Force Ones.
I'm going to donate them.
Okay, so I have a problem with stuff.
So sometimes if somebody gives me something, even if it's a gift, but I don't necessarily find a purpose for it, I will donate it and I will give it away.
Is that bad?
That's insane.
Is it insane?
If I got you those shoes and then I saw you donate them, but I like them.
So I wouldn't have donated them.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
But now I know I'm running the risk of if I gave you another fucking Christmas gift, wouldn't you?
Okay, so what you're saying then is you would rather the gift just stockpile and hoard itself on my household.
Yes, bro.
Really?
Why are you such a fucking, you literally live life like one of these like minimalist tech bros?
How?
You wear the same shit all the time.
No.
You wear the same, you wear the same colors all the time.
You never.
Oh, yeah.
What colors are they then?
What?
Black and white and gray.
You're a lying bitch.
What is the color you're wearing right now?
Ray.
The Color of Your Clothes00:14:50
Exactly.
Very dark gray with a hint of green, some would say, or a hint of blue.
Oh, my God.
Not even.
A hint, a hint, a shade of blue.
Are you, you got that fucking wrist thing on?
I did, but I want to put it on this one now.
But like, I don't need, I can't get help from someone else because I have to learn how to put this shit on myself because I'm always going to do it myself.
But I feel like that's a noble way to go about gifts and like your life.
Fuck no.
I want to suffer with the gift.
No, fuck that.
I want you to think about what you did.
What did I do?
I just give it away.
That likes a few things.
See, like this, like this actually freaks me the fuck out.
You and I are the opposite.
Like, I don't see how you can find comfort in that.
It gives it's all stuff that people send me.
Like, there's, you know, emotional importance.
Really?
Yes.
To everything.
Yes.
Everything?
Pretty much.
Point to a thing.
Wait, let me just bring it over here.
Yes.
Yeah.
What do you mean, full metal alchemist, baby?
Emotional importance?
Yeah, full metal alchemist was an anime that I was watching at the time.
I mean, I've watched it or I watched it before, but I was re-watching it.
And then they sent this to me.
Oh, wait, they sent the company sent it?
No, no.
Chatters did.
Chatter sent it.
Yeah.
And so how does that make you feel emotionally?
It just feels, it feels great.
It's a reminder that like what a great anime I watch and all the all the tears that I shed.
See, for me, that's the problem.
I don't get much joy out of things unless they serve me a purpose.
They serve me a purpose.
Well, I also like I've always liked toys.
Really?
I played with toys until like way too late of an age.
Wait, like how late and what toys?
Because this depends.
Like action figures.
With like articulation, with points of articulation.
What's the latest age that you think is like too late to play with toys?
Toys?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I mean, I don't think.
Like action figures.
Okay.
Action figures.
Let's hit that more on the nail.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Too late for action.
I would say if you're 15 playing with action figures, there's a problem.
Or like not a problem, but it's like, I'm looking at you a little bit weird.
Wait, how old are you?
It's not, it's not like I'm going to judge your entire existence.
I played deep into high school.
What?
You were waiting like alone?
Yeah.
What would you do?
I played.
Okay, this is...
I don't think I've ever revealed this before.
Wait, this is...
This is like a shameful memory.
This is kind of crazy.
I played with action figures, especially ones with like many points of articulation.
I love that shit.
You loved articulating those fuckers.
No, straight up.
I would like look for it specifically when I was buying action figures.
I played with them until it was so late that it was like I knew it was embarrassing to play with action figures and I would hide that I was playing with them.
Would you take those motherfuckers with you to school and shit?
No, I didn't go that far.
Okay, chill.
I have my limitations.
Okay.
I'm not trying to get my ass beat.
You know what I mean?
You're a nerd, but you're not a fucking nerd.
I'm not like insane.
But having said that, yes.
I would play in my room by myself with action figures when I was like 15.
Okay.
And what would you do?
Like, what's in?
Like, scenarios, they were like, like, I would, I would run.
There were fucking no combat sequences and stuff like that.
No, they've never...
That never got me off.
I would have done it if they did.
Did you do it?
No, no, I haven't, but I have something more embarrassing than that.
And I'll tell you in a second.
Okay.
But I knew that like in my mind, I felt like there was something wrong with me for playing with action figures at that age.
At 15, right?
Yeah, because I thought that was inappropriate at that point.
You know what I mean?
I see.
I was like, I should have stopped doing this.
Like, it was a shameful experience.
And I would like be cognizant of the fact.
Like, I'm jerking off.
Be cognizant of the fact that my parents are like around.
And if like they would walk into the room, I would hide them.
Wait, they didn't know?
No.
What?
And here's the thing.
They probably thought I had like a drug addiction or something.
They probably thought like there's something wrong with our kid.
Like, what the fuck is wrong with him?
You'd be awfully skittish when we fucking.
Meanwhile, it's like shit like that.
I was just like playing with fucking toys and was embarrassed by it.
Honestly, that's pretty, that's like a nice kid thing, though.
Right?
Like, I think ultimately you want, like, I don't think it's a bad thing.
No, I don't think it was bad.
I think it was just like, you know, my, there's something wrong.
There's something wrong with my development.
That's what I feel like.
I don't ever play anymore, which is like kind of sad when I think about it.
Cause like, you know, such a big part of your life.
It was such a big part of my life.
That one specifically, there's a Gambit X-Men figure back there somewhere.
Behind the Bernie.
Oh, right.
Bernie's left shoulder.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I see that.
That one I had like out of bed.
When I was growing up.
Yeah.
And I loved that one.
And there's a Wolverine one from that same series.
I love those ones.
And I would play with those a lot.
I think I know why I don't like stuff.
Why?
When I was younger, I used to collect things.
And so one of the things I used to collect, I used to collect like McDonald's toys.
And I used to collect all of them and whatever.
And then I used to, I fucking nerd.
I had a collection of cereal box toys and like things you get from a cereal box.
I would collect all that shit and keep all that shit somewhere.
And then there was another time where I would collect dollar bills, but only until I was able to have them in alphabetical order by like the little letter that's on the bill.
Is it describing autism?
No.
You think so?
Maybe.
Maybe a little bit.
You are cracked at video games.
Yeah.
But then my brother would fucking throw out all of my collections every time I would get them going.
That's insane.
So I think.
Why would you do that?
He's a fucking dick.
We shared a room and I think he's just a big dick.
Dude, that's so.
So like, for example, my McDonald one, he would fucking throw them away.
My every one of them that I did, throw them away.
My dollar billed one, he stole the money.
And so at that point, I think like at the age of 12, I was just like, attachment to things.
That's crazy.
I mean, I guess it's like good that you don't have an attachment to material possessions.
That's like not the worst thing.
Yeah.
But I think that's kind of nice.
What if you like tried collecting stuff now?
There's no shot.
That skull behind you is from you to me, even though you unintentionally left it in the car.
No, it was not unintentional.
Oh, you left it in the car on purpose?
Yeah.
But because you knew I would pick it up and put it in my wall of shit.
Yes.
Okay.
Well, there you go.
I was cleaning out the car from things that have other things in your car and I went, that could stay.
It's like, I don't want that.
I don't want this shit.
Missad will take this trash and make something out of it.
Exactly.
Yeah, I was like, I'm yoinking this for sure.
Yeah.
What was your embarrassing action figure story?
Oh, it wasn't action figures, but porn was banned in Turkey.
Banned?
Banned.
Like porn was completely banned.
Oh, my God.
So after a certain point, it was like not accessible.
And even before then, it was hard because we had a family computer that was in the living room.
Oh, yeah.
How are you going to jerk off in the living room?
You know, you got to wait for everyone in the family to leave.
And then you're like, oh, finally, I got the room to myself.
Like, I got the living room to myself for once.
But outside of that, it's really hard.
So I've drawn titties that I've jerked off to.
That's desperation.
I drew my own hentai, kind of, and I jerked off to it.
Yeah.
How old?
This is all these fault.
Like, how old were you here?
This all depends on, like, all I'm saying is the reaction was crazy already.
All I'm saying is too old.
That's all I'm saying.
Like, above the age of 13.
15.
Why you got to be like this?
I want to know.
I think probably around that age, yeah.
I guess.
So you were 15 drawing titties and then coming on them.
I had.
Did you ever come on the paper that you drew?
Don't lie to me.
I have come on a magazine, though.
Sick volume on accident.
An accident?
Yeah.
It's like, you know, we were jerking off analog, motherfucker.
You were like, you were not alive when I was jerking off.
You know what I mean?
Like, you were fucking not even sperm.
So that's fucking true.
To the viewers.
You were like, I had magazines.
I don't know.
I'm 22.
23, by the way.
Yeah, you're 23.
I'm 31.
About to be 32 this year.
This upcoming year.
So like we, especially in Turkey, like, yeah, we had to fucking make do.
Damn.
Yeah, I jerked off to an FHM magazine with Denise Richards.
She had a fucking naked spread in there.
And like, I got excited and I just kind of nutted on the magazine.
Just all over that.
Yeah.
And then the did you close it?
And then what are you supposed to do?
What are you supposed to do?
What are you supposed to do?
Oh, there's there's so much shit that I know that you have not talked about publicly.
Yeah, exactly.
In your adolescence, from the action figure toys at the age of eight, 15 to jerking off to hand-drawn titties at the age of 15.
Yeah.
There's a tell-all.
There's got to.
Okay.
Quick question.
What?
When you would jerk off, what would be your cleanup process?
Or were you, did you come in tissue?
No, I always, it's so weird when people freak out over it.
I would just like, I would just use a paper towel is the best for the record.
I would just paper towel, wipe my hand, and then wash it.
Okay.
That's how that's my.
You just come in your hand, like, just get it done over with.
Napkin, wash the hand, bada bing, bada boom.
No, that's, that's normal.
That's normal.
That's however.
That's surprising, though.
However, there are instances where, like, you know, when you don't nut for a while, or if you've ever, like, done any kind of like edging where you don't come, yeah, you stop yourself from coming.
I have a funny story about that, too.
I'll tell you in a second.
I would edge sometimes, and if I hadn't nutted for a while, I have literally come like so fucking high up and then hit myself back in the chest.
No.
Yes.
I've come shot at my own chest before.
Yeah.
Bro.
Wait, you're a shooter?
You know what's crazy though?
Yeah, I'm a shooter.
Damn.
Not always.
Not always.
I'm a lot of jealous.
Not always.
Yeah, but like.
But like, I come a lot.
And like, I lay thick ropes.
So here's the thing, though.
This was a you, like, it was a weird moment because, like, on the one hand, you're like, holy fuck, I just came so high.
Yeah.
And also in slow motion, you're like, oh, no.
Because you see it going up and you're like, what?
And you're like, no.
You know, trick shot.
Wow.
Yeah.
I've done that shamefully.
I've done something that a lot of men have never been able to do.
What is that?
Suck your own dick?
Yeah.
You've heard that.
I've been able to.
Really?
Not like full suck, but yeah, I've been able to.
Not like full suck either.
Okay.
I've been able to lick it.
Oh, no.
I've like been able to like, like, just the tip.
What?
Yeah.
Yo.
No, no.
I've talked about this before.
I've talked about this before with Ludwig.
Just a tip with Ludwig, and he's like completely, you know, spread false information about me coming in my mouth when it comes to this, which did not happen.
In the original story that I told Ludwig, I got myself close to completion, and then I pulled out of my own mouth and then finished in my hand.
Yo!
Yo!
What?
That's crazy.
Is that crazy?
Like the whole.
Yeah, bro.
No, it was fire.
Kind of.
It was fire.
Wait, why did you stop doing it then?
No, I only was able to do it once.
And then after that, it was just like.
Dude, you know what's crazy about that?
Yes.
I used to try it.
Did you just do that one time?
I used to try it and I was never able to do it.
And then I was able to do it one fucking time.
And then that's it.
And you know what's really interesting about it?
And I've talked about this before.
It didn't feel like I was getting my dicks.
It feels like you're sucking dick.
It felt like I was sucking dick.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's more, it's more sucking dick than it is you getting your dicks.
It's because like when you jerk off with your hand, it doesn't feel like you're jerking a dude off.
It feels like you're getting jerked off, I guess.
Like it feels different.
Yeah.
It's further away from the brain.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's literally it.
That's crazy.
Your brain is like right here and your tongue is right there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's wild to think about, but it's like, it's way too close.
It's too close.
It doesn't.
I wish it wasn't.
It doesn't, I don't know.
For me, it wasn't that good, but it seems like you were able to almost come and almost come in my mouth.
That's crazy.
It was dope.
That's that's crazy.
What the fuck?
Okay, that's you've I'm flabbergasted.
You're flabbergasted.
I'm fucking.
I don't think I've never shared that story with you.
I mean, I've heard it through the grapevine.
I've heard it probably through the grapevine, but yeah, but not like just rehearing it is just so strange.
And then looking at me here, knowing.
Yeah, I'm like, it was.
Yeah, I feel it's like tainted.
Marsh, how do you feel with like two self-suckers in the room?
You should be fucking ecstatic to be here.
Yeah, I feel honored.
Marsh is saying he sucked his own cock as well.
Really?
No, I'm lying.
I'm just.
I was about to say, Dad.
He doesn't have a microphone on.
I'm just slandering him.
Wait, there was another thing I was going to talk about, but now I can't even remember.
Holy fuck.
You said you had another embarrassing story about something, which is impressive.
I have so many embarrassing stories.
What do you mean?
It's life.
This is living life.
Living La Vita Loca, baby.
But everything is wiped out now.
Now that you told me the self-suck story, I'm just, I can't even.
That's wild, dude.
I can recuperate after that one.
Yeah, it's like, I need to recalibrate.
I don't even know what the fuck we're going to be.
I had like a lineup of items that I was going to talk about.
Were you ever caught it, caught on when, like, in the midst of the action?
Was I ever caught?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had an O purr.
What the fuck's an O-Per?
A living maid that was like specifically like a babysitter.
Holy shit.
And she was this like kind of hot Moldovan lady.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like basically she caught me.
Timing My Jerk-Offs00:05:49
Yeah.
And it redefined the game for me.
Caught me jerking off.
Yeah, yeah.
But you redefined it.
What were you jerking off to?
The drawn titties or?
I don't know.
I was probably going, you know, brain.
I, dude, you know, I fasted once where I like stopped jerking off to porn and would only jerk off to my imagination.
That's hard.
That's like kind of hard to do now, I think.
Porn has like ruined me in that regard.
I never have to do that.
I've always done like weird shit where it's like, I've either quit porn in a few months or like did just straight mental shit, but go ahead.
Well, I got caught and it was, it was like traumatic, but also it was like, oh my God.
Like, But what if we, you know what I mean?
Like, of course, it was never going to happen, obviously.
But, like, in my, I'm like a kid.
You were like, oh, like a kid.
I'm like a kid.
So I'm thinking, like, oh, fuck.
It'd be so sweet.
But no, I remember what it was.
So I would jerk off all the time.
I have a weird jerk off thing.
Another weird jerk-off story.
I would jerk off all the time.
Oh, I got one too after.
Even before I, even before I started, like, nutting ejaculate, right?
Like, before I.
Oh, my God.
I have another one about that too.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm going to keep on.
This is all dicks only.
Jerk off all the time.
We'll get past dick in a minute.
Merry Christmas.
This is literally educational.
What the fuck do you mean?
It's not getting monetized.
So I am jerking off all the fucking time.
And in my mind, I realized, like, wait a minute, like, I think I'm coming too fast now.
Yeah.
I started coming like fast.
I would come at like five minutes.
Yeah.
And I was thinking to myself, because I was always, I was always planning to like have sex eventually.
You know what I mean?
I was like planning everything appropriately.
And I was like, I don't get affairs in order before he.
Yeah, exactly.
Writer Will.
So in my mind, I was thinking like, because I'm watching a lot of porn at this point.
And I'm thinking like, you know, porns go for like an hour.
Yeah.
I can, if I'm only lasting like five minutes, this is not good.
No.
I will not be able to please a woman.
That's what I was thinking.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So getting absolutely cum blasted in your brain from porn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was thinking like, fuck, I got to do something about this.
Yeah.
So I started timing my jerk-offs.
I figured out a way to basically edge.
I would wait until 15 minutes to come.
Yeah.
And I started doing that.
And I've done it for a very long time.
That's fucking crazy.
I did it for years.
That's a long fucking time.
Every time you want to jerk off, you would do the little.
I look at the, it's easy.
I look at it.
I look at what a timer for 15.
No, I just look at the time because I'm doing it on the fap top.
I even do it now.
Yeah.
I do it without even thinking.
Wait, what the fuck's the fap top?
Laptop that I use to jerk off.
Exclusively?
No, I mean, it's just my personal laptop.
Okay.
But like, I just call it the fap top.
Anyway, yeah, but I look at the time.
It's like 10.34, right?
Yeah.
I'm like, okay, I'm not coming until 10.44 at least.
Yeah.
You know, 10 minutes at least.
And I do it still.
And that shit, like, that was like, you, you, like, you trust this method?
Yeah.
You did this.
You got a seal of a Hasan Abi seal of approval.
100%.
That's what's up.
And yeah, it helped me not premature ejaculate.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's incredible.
Yeah.
I got another really embarrassing story.
All right, let's hear it.
I, when I was in like high school, have you ever looked up how to make like a homemade sex toy?
I never went that far.
I don't think that.
I went that far.
I like that.
And I went and I got the little fucking, so I, so I, you know, Google searched horny as fuck.
Because I was like, I want to try spicing it up.
But like, the thing is, at that point, you have like access to porn, right?
Yeah.
And you're still, that's not enough.
You want a different dick sensation.
I do understand that.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, dude.
Actually, you know what?
That's me, not with like, I fucked the Vaseline thing.
What?
A tub of hole.
Terrible idea.
A whole talk.
Terrible idea.
A whole, the whole thing?
Yeah.
Why?
I just.
Whose was it?
It wasn't your personality.
Of course not.
I had to throw it out in shame.
What was that like?
Was it just like all the heat?
First of all, have you ever used Vaseline to jerk off?
No, I have.
Because it's not water-based.
So it's just like sticky, but then it goes away.
Yeah.
And then it becomes really dry.
It's like weird.
Maybe I'm trying to remember.
Anyway.
Definitely no, Regman.
It gives you a good fab.
Maybe not if you're going for fucking hours.
Yeah, if you're going for 15 minutes, it's not lasting.
But yeah, no, I've done that.
I've used like different things on my dick to jerk off with.
And some have been awful.
Soap.
Like, just, oh, just like for the straight soap.
No, yeah, I've done that too.
Shampoo.
And then, you know, if some of it catches in your urethra.
No.
It's like painful.
Yeah, fuck that.
Yeah, I've had that happen to me when I was a kid.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So I've done that.
But go on with your story.
Fuck, where I was like, oh, yeah.
So yeah, Google fucking thing.
And it's like, the way you got to make it is you got to get like a hand rag.
And then you got to get a fucking silicone glove.
And then you put the glove in the towel and then you roll it up nice and tight.
And then you take rubber bands.
You know how like the glove has like the wrist insert part?
You take that and then you loop it outside of the napkin and then you secure that with rubber bands and then you like put some Vaseline or whatever you want inside of it and then you fuck it.
Soap and Shampoo Stories00:15:37
Was it good?
No.
It's very disappointing.
Damn.
I went through all that effort and I was just like, this is whack.
Then you made the gun that killed Shinzo Albi.
Who's this jerk off?
I don't know who that is.
The former Japanese leader.
Oh, wait.
Who got assassinated like a couple months ago when OTK was in Japan?
Very suspicious.
Very suspicious.
What was Michael Reeves doing?
I don't know.
Good question.
Anyway.
Did it get loose?
Or is it giving some...
Okay, I'll just keep it here.
I won't touch it.
Okay.
Yeah, those are...
This is not getting monetized at all, I don't think.
Whoops.
In any case, though, those are weird jerk-off moments.
Weird jerk-off stories.
Now that we looked at the past, it's time to look at the future.
Oh, shit.
Or it's time to look at the past of this year.
What were your highlights of this year?
Ooh, my highlights of this year, shit camp and the boxing match.
Yeah.
I think those are my solid highlights of this year.
In terms of just things that I just enjoyed fucking doing, like insanely.
They were just so much fun.
Shit camp was some of the best time of my life.
It has been for the past few years working with Cutie Cinderella, and that's always like a fucking blessing.
I love Cutie.
It's crazy that you said that, especially because I asked you, what are your highlights?
And then I realized, I don't got no fucking highlights, bro.
What?
Really?
Yeah.
Shit, wait, what'd you do this year?
Nothing.
No.
Nothing.
There wasn't anything that kind of cuts out from the fucking, from the, from the rest.
It's got to be something.
I guess maybe like Amsterdam was fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You went to Amsterdam, you traveled.
Yeah, I traveled a little bit.
That was good.
That's it, though.
God, you live such a sad life.
Fucking fuck.
Yeah, dude, I cover the news all day every day.
You fucking sweaty streamer.
Yeah, that's what happens.
Become a streamer.
You fucking just start streaming every day.
Every day blurs into the old, same old.
But it's not like, it's like every day is different because of the news that you're doing.
You're right.
You are doing that.
But also, every day is the same, kind of.
Yeah.
Because you're not moving that much.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I don't know.
That's fuck.
I got to think about that back.
Shit camp wasn't the highlight?
Shit camp was all right.
It was fun.
Damn.
I had a good time.
I wouldn't say it was a highlight.
That shit was a highlight.
That was fun.
Really?
That was really fun.
Yeah.
I had a lot of fun.
I just love working and doing shit with people.
You know what?
I guess shit camp was kind of a highlight because I was like outside all the time and I didn't have any like streaming obligations.
So I just definitely was having a lot of fun, just like running around, climbing, playing basketball.
Like I was, you know, I was a monster.
That's fair.
I enjoyed it.
That was true.
That was, it's good.
Yeah.
You should box.
That'll definitely fucking that'll definitely give you a little bit of a highlight, some highlight juice.
No.
I mean, yeah, you didn't even bring that up.
You didn't even bring up chess boxing as your highlight.
I did.
Oh, you did?
I just said boxing.
My bad.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I did the chess boxing event from Ludwig.
And yeah, that shit was fucking crazy.
I don't think, I don't know if topping that is going to be fucking hard.
Like, I'm just going to need bigger and bigger dumps of adrenaline after that.
You got to get on Misfits.
Misfits, Miss.
Oh, yeah, the dude, he actually, I think he reached out to me.
Really?
Yeah, Mams Taylor.
Yeah.
They're like me.
They're very serious, though.
Yeah.
I think in comparison to like all the other boxers.
Yeah.
I feel like even their undercard is like pretty stacked up.
Yeah.
Like Churdley's, you know, I think he was pretty competitive against you, would you say?
Yeah.
Like he was better than I thought he was going to be.
Yeah, no, same for sure.
Absolutely.
Especially with the disadvantages.
And he got knocked the fuck out on Misfits.
Well, the dude, what I realized, like the dude that, sorry.
The dude that he was fighting against Misfits, this motherfucker had like years of experience or some shit from what I realized.
So I was like, okay, there was no one, like there was, there was no fucking shot that he was going to have a chance against this dude.
So it was nice to vert.
And I didn't really know that until like closer to the fight or like on like fight night or somebody, somebody told me that.
But so then versing Churley's, you know, he's had similar experience, like amount of time to like actually train versus me.
So it was nice versing somebody that also like trained for around the same amount of time that I did.
I'll put it on the record that I think you would have smoked Alex.
Alexa.
I'll put it.
I put that shit on the record on my stream.
Yeah, I think you would have smoked Alexa.
Our trainers also feel that way.
Yeah.
I did make them train with Michael and Brian.
Oh shit.
They dissected their movement and body mechanics.
Well, not body mechanics, but I mean, Alexa is definitely they look at the way they move and shit subconsciously.
And he is not as strong as you are for sure.
No, no, no, not at all.
Yes.
Yeah, you've been lifting.
You walk us through your journey.
Tell me more.
Walk us through your journey of athleticism.
First step, meet Hassan Abby and play basketball.
Second step, have him tell me that I'm a fucking freak of nature.
I mean, you were.
You were consume his trainers and have them make me a Greek god.
No, but yeah.
What did you, what was your weight at your peak before you started cutting for boxing?
193.
That's crazy.
And then I weighed in 175.
What was your weight when you before you started working out?
Before I started working out.
Like, oh, you were working out on your own.
Yeah, but you were even working out on your own before a few months with another personal trainer.
Yeah.
But I was one 160 or 155.
Yeah, 160, 160.
You put on 33 pounds of fucking straight, just jack juice.
Pretty much.
That's crazy.
There was some fluff, though.
No.
There was some fluff.
Well, actually, no, there was a period of time where I trained and then I didn't train and then I gained a bunch, like I gained like maybe like 10 pounds and that was the fluff.
And then I put on weight on top of that.
But overall, it was like pretty good.
Like a lot of it was just straight muscle.
Like I actually did pretty well.
I was quite impressed.
I mean, you're putting out more weight than you ever have, right?
Yeah.
No, that's the most weight I've ever put on ever in my life.
There you go.
And then this was the most weight that I've ever had to cut in my life.
Well, doing a little fit to fat to fit thing.
No, that's, I mean, it's good.
So what are you, what are you at now?
What do you, what are your goals now for fitness?
Dude, I want to be 200 pounds and like 10% body fat.
So you want to be a fucking tank.
What were you when you were fighting?
When I was fighting, I was 175.
You were 175 at like 14%, probably, right?
15%.
Probably somewhere around that.
Yeah.
Because your abs weren't showing without flexing.
Yeah.
So you were like 14% body fat.
Yeah.
Really, Liver Steve.
Yeah.
He's like around 14%.
Yeah.
Which is another person that trains in our gym.
That you trained with as well.
You sparred with a little bit.
You cooked them, right?
Yeah, I couldn't.
Yeah.
I felt bad.
I felt bad because there was a moment, like after a certain amount of training.
And like, I was really, it was like the last month where I was like really fucking drilling.
I was sparring like, I think three days a week or three or four days a fucking week.
And then I think B comes in one day.
Brian comes in and he's just like, hey, Liver Steve won't be sparring with us for a little bit anymore.
And I was like, oh, why?
He's like, well, they don't really, you know, he's like not, he's not, he's not training for like a fight.
And he kind of coming in here and he's kind of just getting fucking smacked a little bit.
And it's just, it's a lot to deal with when you just have to go to your normal fucking job and you don't have to do it for like a living or you're not like doing it for a show, right?
Yeah.
So I understand it and I fully respect it.
Smacked them out of the fucking ring, dude.
What the fuck?
That's pretty cool.
I kind of.
That's cool as fuck.
Okay.
The more I listen to you, the more I kind of want to like.
It is so fucking great.
It really is.
And it would be great for you, too.
Yeah, but.
You don't even have to fucking box anybody, but just learning boxing in general.
I want to do that.
I do want to do that.
Learning boxing in general is dope.
Yeah.
I want to, I want to train a little bit because it's such good cardio.
It's fucking phenomenal.
The best kind of cardio.
Your goddamn lungs, you'll fucking...
Oh my God.
I couldn't even tell you.
The amount of time that I would last before like boxing and then like my cardio now is it's night and day.
I've literally transformed into a different person.
Yeah.
Kind of crazy.
I mean, that's the only experience I have with that is basketball.
So it's like very different.
Basketball, it requires you to fucking, you know, have a lot of intensity, do a lot of intense cardio for like an hour at a time, but it's never the same as like as intense as boxing, which is three minutes max.
Yeah.
Would you ever run?
I hate running.
Yeah, I fucking hated it too.
I fucking hate it.
It's not good for you, though.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
It's literally not good for you.
It's not good for your joints.
It's not good for big boys like myself.
It's just not good in general.
It's so good for your cardio, though.
It's great for your cardio, for sure.
But not necessarily great for anything else.
So, which is why I'm always like, ugh, I don't know.
I feel iffy on it.
Oh, that's fair.
Okay, so what are your New Year's resolutions?
My New Year's resolutions.
This is going to be a New Year's episode.
How far are we away from are we from New Year's?
This weekend?
Fuck.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing for New Year's?
I'm getting sushi.
With who?
Buddha, Abby.
You want to come get sushi?
No, I don't eat.
Oh, Providence?
You don't eat sushi?
No, not Providence.
No.
Fuck no.
Yeah.
I don't fucking...
I don't eat sushi.
You don't eat food.
You eat food.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Which, by the way, it reminds me, I'm going to order us food right now.
That would be amazing.
Are you hungry?
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is going to be an eating podcast, as always.
Oh, you guys eat on this show?
We eat on the show.
Literally frequently.
Frequently.
Motherfuckers complain about that shit.
I wonder.
Yeah, I'm a chicken.
Yeah.
You fuck with the rotisserie?
Yeah.
Get it.
Wait, actually, hold on.
I'm going to get his barbecue, though.
You want barbecue instead?
I'm down.
Yeah, for my New Year's resolution, I've decided that my New Year's resolution this year is to get an acting gig.
A formal acting gig.
Okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
So I think in the next few months here, I'm gonna join probably either some sort of acting class or some sort of acting.
Maybe like, I don't know what the equivalent of an internship would be for that, but I'm guessing like those types of clubs are really good for socializing and getting your feet in the door.
And maybe I'll go to school for it a little bit, take some classes as well on top of that.
And I'm going to try to actually land an acting gig.
I want to go down that road.
You're an interesting guy.
You also did, you just like learned how to play the piano.
Yeah.
And you now play the piano.
Well, I played a little bit and not too great.
Just a little bit.
I like learning things.
I think it's very fun.
I think that is like also, I think it's a really good way to test yourself.
And if you're really that fucking guy, is by learning things that are that.
What'd you learn?
Are you that fucking guy?
I'm that fucking guy.
Pick up things quickly.
You are.
And I like that I'm able to say that and like back it up by a list of things that I you are like we when we went shooting you were like you were very quickly you were very good at shooting.
So I'm a quick learner.
I discovered this.
I'm a very slow learner.
I am not that fucking at all.
Yeah.
The things I cannot pick up.
I'm not a good gamer.
I'm serious.
Like there's only I'm good at certain things.
What are those people always think like I'm good at streaming?
I'm good at covering the news.
I'm good at being entertaining and educational at the same time.
I'm good at basketball.
There are things that I'm good at.
But those things that I'm good at, I worked really, I'm good at lifting weights, I guess.
But like those are things that I got good at over years and years and years of hard work.
Like I've never been able to just like pick something up and been good at it.
Yeah.
I used to be really good at drawing.
I don't think I'm that good at drawing anymore.
I'm not going to draw anything.
Do you like that, though, to some degree?
Fuck no.
There's a kind of a blessing to it.
What's the blessing, motherfucker?
It sucks.
You will never have option fatigue.
What do you mean?
In terms of like the things that you do or want to do.
Because you know for a fact that like, I'm just going to fucking suck at this thing.
It's going to take me a long fucking time.
So I'm going to stick to my guns about what I've been doing and what I enjoy.
That's silly.
That's a silly take.
You don't like that.
That's kind of, it's a kind of a positive, depending on the way you look at it.
No shot, bro.
Yeah, because think about it.
On the other hand, nothing positive.
You could be really good at a lot of things and be like, fuck, I don't, like, what's going to get my time?
That is.
No, I would just be good at fucking figuring out what.
No, you're just saying, no, I refuse.
You refuse?
Yeah, I refuse.
I've been in this bucket.
No, that's bullshit.
No, I'm telling you.
To be better at figuring out what you're good at and focus on that instead.
I mean, that's, that's, it is, it is an easy, that is an easier thing to do than to just be bad at everything.
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
What the fuck do you mean?
You literally just said.
You literally just trying to see it from a positive light.
Yeah, that was bullshit.
I tried and I failed.
It's so much better to fucking not be good at things.
Yeah, meta not having options.
You just know that this is what you're going to do.
That's insane.
Like, you know, simplify it.
It's like you simplify your life that way.
It's like, whoop, this is my calling.
You're calling political commentator.
No, I mean, I didn't think.
I guess that is what I'm good at is fucking figuring out what I want to do and then working really hard to achieve it.
That's actually admirable.
But it's frustrating because I can't, I've never been able to like pick shit up and just be cracked at it.
Yeah.
So it sucks.
Like when I'm playing Valorant, which is the Valorant portion of this podcast.
Or I talk to my guests about Valorant.
How's your Valorant addiction going?
You know how it's going, dog.
You watch me.
You just play.
I watched you play and I'm like, fuck, man.
It's like a different game.
Your movement is so much more smooth.
Yeah.
Was there anything you noticed that was like, damn, I should probably apply that a little bit more?
First of all, I look at your crosshair placement and your brain is working faster than mine when you're playing.
Because when I'm playing a video game, I'm an old man.
I didn't play video games in my more formative years for a very long time because I was busy getting pussy.
Okay.
It's just the truth, unfortunately.
And now I realize that was a mistake.
Okay, I wish I was.
You're right.
In my formative years, I was playing games and not getting pussy.
Exactly.
I lost my virtue.
We lost my Virginia.
I was like, I'm done.
We're the yang.
Yeah, I'm done with fucking video games.
Fuck this shit.
And honestly, that was a mistake.
Losing Gaming Virtue00:02:32
And for that reason, when I'm playing a video game, it's panic mode.
Oh, no.
Doesn't that suck?
It sucks because I don't know.
I don't know a lot of what's going on.
And then the panic isn't helping either.
It's just making you freak the fuck out.
And like, when I mean panic mode, I'm like not super confident as to where I know like enemies are going to come from.
You're not like tweaking.
I'm not tweaking.
I'm like, oh, God.
It's not like that.
Well, I guess when I first start playing, it's like that.
But I'm in panic mode.
And, you know, there's a lot of shit that I forget.
Whereas when I watch you play, I can tell you're like setting up three steps ahead.
Yeah.
You're like, oh, a guy's probably going to come from there.
I'm checking in that area.
And I see you like make, I see you even move your arm to like reposition so you can make minor movements.
Yeah.
Like quick movements specifically to like, because you know, you know, it's, he's going to either be on that pixel or that pixel.
So you like move your arm around ahead of time while you're moving over there.
You're like multitasking.
You're coordinating very well.
You literally picked up the flash and the timing.
Your timing was like kind of dog shit.
But like, but the thing is, that like the KO flash is very hard to time.
Bitch.
I hate that flash.
You picked it up very quickly, though, and you knew immediately how to maximize the flash.
Oh, yeah.
You would throw it, and then you would pop in as soon as it like while it was like, you know, turning off.
Yeah.
So that, you know, for those of you at home who don't understand anything about Valorant, basically trying to blind the player and not blind himself, but the blind only lasts for so long.
So he's trying to maximize the space and time that he has the other player blinded.
That was really good.
I mean, your util movements are good.
Your movements are great in general.
Your crosshair placement is good.
Your spray pattern is good.
You fucking, every time you shoot, you pull down perfectly.
So all the bullets still hit the head.
You and I walked in.
You're fucking spraying at people.
And you do this thing where you like, you like, I wish I had something to like fucking, oh, I could hit this.
This is like you hitting your mouse, like your left click, but like not physically representative, but just audibly.
So this is, you start your spray, you go.
So you're like, you like spray at them and then it won't be working.
And then you'll let go and then you'll like click it again.
And you like kind of like spam it.
But I spam it so fast that it's still spray.
Perfect Spray Patterns00:04:51
It's the no, yeah.
But I just like, it was like, it was like something.
I don't know.
Like when I click on it, I still try to fucking pull down.
I just, sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't.
Question.
It's more of like a vibe thing almost.
Yeah.
Sometimes I'm on and I fucking, I pull down perfectly and I'm and I get the spray right.
Also, by the way, when that sage was showing off sick movement and dodged your shots, you just dragged your crosshair off of her.
But the sage went like this.
Yeah, it 100% did it.
It 100%.
Your crosshair was on her, and I watched you take your crosshair.
So, like, I'm Sage, right?
And this is Assange's crosshair, right?
And it was here.
Sage moved into frame, and you went.
I was like, and then you immediately went, Yo, did you see her movement, bro?
What the heck, chat?
Oh my god, but I have a question.
I'm getting bullied.
I have a question, though.
I have a question.
Would you trade me?
What?
My skill for your skill for what?
My gaming skill for your political, for your political mind.
No, no, fuck me.
But what if you could be as successful?
No.
No?
Damn.
So you wouldn't choose to be as dumb as I am, even though you'd make me cry.
No, no, no, no.
I want, I don't even want your level of gaming skill.
I just want like I want to be able to, I want to be like a platinum gamer at least.
You know what I mean?
You could do that.
Yeah, but I'd have to play so much more, I think.
It'll take time, but I believe you could get there.
I don't think so.
You know, I don't.
No, I'm Judd.
That's serious.
I think years, bro.
I think you're just a little bit.
I'm a little people who are hard stuck.
Leslie is hard stuck silver for years.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, but they don't have a good teacher, though.
I feel like the people don't have a good teacher.
Yeah.
Wait, QD has a fucking league coach?
Cutie has a league coach.
Currently, still.
How long has she had it for?
Come on.
She's had a league coach for like a year, I think, or more.
Fuck, some people just ain't about that, huh?
No.
Yo, that's great.
She has a coach and she's still ass.
She's like bronze, I think.
That's nuts.
Which is crazy.
Wow.
At least I don't have a coach.
I'm like playing for fun.
That's fucking...
Wow.
I don't know.
Yo.
Like, I suck.
I don't know what I would do with myself if I was able to be that shit for that long.
I mean, she's great.
I mean, she's great at other shit.
No, of course.
But like, but that's my thing, though.
I want to be good at gaming, but we want to be good at gaming.
Yeah, but she's a baker.
Like, she does cool shit, cool events.
Listen, not everybody can live this motherfucking life.
She overcame Mormonism.
That's huge.
That was big.
That's a big one, bro.
Not many escape.
Fuck, what was I just about to say?
What were you about to say?
Oh, no.
It's fleeting.
Don't fleet from me, you bastard.
Fuck.
Would you get a Valorant coach?
Probably not.
That's fair.
The fuck, when am I going to train for Valorant?
Like, that sounds insane.
I don't have any time.
They could train on stream.
Not this.
That would be funny as fuck.
No.
You could do a whole thing about it, like getting a Fiverr coach from Fiverr.
I would have to lie.
Yeah, I'd be like, I'm getting a coach from Fiverr and it's you.
Yeah.
Because there's no way.
It would just not be fun.
Okay, that's fair.
Also, I mean, I don't know.
Content-wise, I don't think people would enjoy it that much.
Okay, okay.
I don't think I would enjoy it that much.
I think he's like, what am I?
I had to do aim labs and shit, right?
What if the coach comes in and he's like, you got to do aim labs?
I'd be like, fuck off.
No, what if he just like you just play Valorant and he just like coaches you and like tries to give you tips on what to do?
The funny thing about the funny thing about it is that most of these Fiverr coaches are ass.
Yeah, and that's that's kind of the community.
It would be an ass person like teaching you how to play and they're and you're like kind of ass.
I would punch him in the face.
If I realized he was just bad at the game and he was giving me fucking bad coordinates, bad coaching, I would be like, get the fuck out of my house.
His son Abby punches independent contract.
Yeah, I would be like, get the fuck out of my house, you fucking piece of shit.
You fucking asshole.
I would have to respect them.
I'd have to respect their gaming.
I'd have to make them sit down.
If I hired someone off Fiverr, I was like, all right, sit down in my fucking lobby and just absolutely drop 40 bomb.
Drop a 40 bomb in there.
Do it in front of me.
Do it in front of me.
Prove it that you got it.
Fucking stream while they're talking shit to you.
Yeah.
And then I'll trust you.
Damn.
Yeah.
I'm spoiled.
I'm spoiled.
I play with like fucking immortals all day.
You know what I mean?
Respect for Danish Gaming00:04:16
Wait, do you?
Who do you play with?
Sometimes.
Yeah, that's rough.
So it's like it's just, you know, I'm used to them carrying me.
So those lobbies are trash, though.
They're fucking dog shit.
Those lobbies turn into ass cheeks because like we'll just fucking destroy one team, like blow their backs out, absolutely thoroughly, ritualistically humiliate them.
And then the next round, it's like we're playing against Todd.
We're playing against like Todic 2.0.
That's rough as shit.
Yeah.
And then it's like, well, I'm a fucking silver player.
You know what I mean?
How the fuck am I going to play against that?
Another highlight of my year this year, just kind of looping back to that question though, but is I started a book club with me, Cutie, Bjerkson, and Brooke.
Fuck.
Yeah.
So we had our first meeting today.
What'd you guys read?
We read What Made Madison.
Yeah, what made Maddie Run by Kate Fagan?
What made her run?
What made her run?
Well, she was a college.
Well, the book's about her being a college athlete, Madison, and then she commits suicide in college.
The fuck?
Yeah.
That's kind of sad.
Yeah, it's very dark.
But yeah, we just all kind of hopped on a call, talked about the book, and then kind of ripped it to shreds over some of the stylistic choices that the author brings to the book.
But you choose that book as your first ever book.
Bjerksen picked it.
And I think Chief had two books, and I think QD like picked that up.
You don't let a fucking European dude pick that.
Why not?
You're going to pick some dark shit, dude.
Yeah.
You can't.
You can't let...
Where's Berkson from?
Was he Swedish?
He's a Norwegian.
Oh, he's going to kill me.
It starts with a D. Denmark.
Denmark.
Nah, that's your mistake.
Fucked up.
The Dunmarkans?
Yeah.
No.
You can't be can't be getting the fucking Danish involved.
Denmarkians?
It's Danish, right?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
My brain is freezing.
I'm pretty sure.
The Danes?
All right.
Well, let's...
That's a good note to end it on for now.
We are going to get in some more juicy stuff on the paywalled portion.
What are you doing?
What do they call those bastards?
They're Danish.
They're Danish.
Did you just Google Denmark?
Denmark is a Scandinavian country.
I think you had the prompt.
Google.
Okay, that's crazy.
All right.
Well, we're going to end it on that note and we're going to move on to the paywalled episode.
Paywall?
Yeah.
Woo!
That's right, baby.
How could I get in?
You can find the paywall at patreon.com slash fear and that's right.
$5 a month.
You get access to some juicy tidbits.
Juicy second half of the podcast proportion.
Your guys' Patreon is called Free Rent.
No, FearN.
Oh, FearN.
Patreon.com slash FearN.
Where can people find you, Myth?
People could find me at Myth underscore on Twitter.
MythYT on YouTube.
And yeah, just look up streamer myth on Google or whatever the fuck.
I'm out there.
MythIG underscore on IG.
Yeah.
All right.
Peace, everybody.
Thank you.
All right, we're back.
Welcome back, bitches.
On the paywalled portion.
You in the paywall section.
We're not even going to eat yet.
I thought the food would be here by now.
I was wrong.
Myth, you used to be at TSM.
Give us the juicy hot gas.
Do the juicy hot goss?
Yeah.
Do you feel like you made out like a bandit?
Because you left TSM, TSM fucking fell apart.
I'm coming at you with like hard.
Of course they fell apart.
I left.
Yeah, TSM got the FDA sponsorship.
I was like, oh god.
I left.
Is it mythological or is it mythical?
What do you mean?
It's gotta have, it's gotta be longer.
What do you mean it's gotta be longer?
It can't just be myth.
It is just myth.
No, but like, no, but like it has to be something more to it.
You've never thought about that?
No.
Wait, really?
It's always just been myth.
This entire time, I was always like memeing and saying, oh, it's TSM mythological, Team Solomon Mythological.
Knowing full well that your name is myth, obviously.