Hasan Piker, Will Neff, and Ted Nivison critique DC Comics' offensive Hispanic Heritage Month covers featuring stereotypical food imagery and Marvel's racist "Black Thor" depiction. They discuss J.K. Rowling's transphobia, contrast Harry Potter films with Game of Thrones, and detail Nivison's Rainforest Cafe road trip with Eddie B. The trio also analyzes the unionization at Medieval Times New Jersey, mocks Calcio Storico Fiorentino violence, and addresses Ezra Miller's controversies alongside contractual feuds between Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel regarding Black Adam and Shazam. Ultimately, the episode highlights the necessity for authentic representation in media while celebrating diverse cultural experiences through travel and gaming. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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First Time Wearing a Dress00:06:31
We're hot and sexy and ready to rock.
We were not talking about some secret shit right before this.
What's up, everybody?
We're live.
We're back.
It's Fear and and the full cast is here.
We got Will here.
He couldn't make it on last week's episode because he was getting the most Draco Malfoy cut I've ever seen in my entire life.
That's not the real reason.
He was in OTK's Camp Canute.
That's right.
But we're back.
Full cast is here, and we have a wonderful guest today.
Ted.
Ted, you haven't made it to a single episode yet.
Ted, the last member of our permanent.
Yeah, you know, you guys told me to be part of this.
Ted didn't be waving like that.
Because he was introducing me.
We're not even like in sync with each other.
Ted Nevis.
You say it.
I said it.
You say it now.
I say Tivizen.
Yeah.
It's way closer to Ted.
Ted Navision.
Like, what is it?
Is it like Ted Navis?
Does my actual last name like offend you or something?
What is it?
How do you say it?
Ted.
Ted and Vision.
I used to say Ted Envision.
Ted Envision.
I mean, that would be a pretty cool thing.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought you envision a brighter future.
Yeah.
Or like, I'm a superhero that can only see the letter N and is like not able to see anything else.
That's the most racist superhero.
Yeah, that's a setup.
That's a racist superhero.
Is it really?
Yeah.
That's the only situation in which the letter N occurs.
I can, yes.
Are you thinking about it right now?
This is mine.
Well, I'm just trying to do it.
Are you thinking about it right now?
That's racism.
We got him, boys.
All right.
We got another one.
Let's go.
Fuck, man.
As you may have noticed, this is the sleeves off podcast, by the way.
This is like, this is the fear and podcast after dark.
You changed.
I did.
I literally went upstairs, took my shirt off, looked at myself in the mirror a little bit.
I was like, you can't let me have my Ryan Gosling shit.
You took one of those, like, sniffed one of those ammonia packages.
No, the real reason, I did it.
I did a couple push-ups, like, not a big deal.
No, I did it because I'm wearing the fucking Himbo Fitness merch, the Himbo Fitness merch that is probably going to be coming out by the time you see the podcast.
Maybe not.
I don't even fucking know.
But I rarely ever do plugs.
So I was just like, I might as well wear it on the podcast.
Nice.
You know?
That was an eloquent plug.
Thank you.
I can see the money signs in your eyes.
I know.
I was like, I can't wait.
I love money so much.
That's why.
Porsches don't pay for themselves.
Exactly.
That's why I rarely ever do merch drops, even though people are fucking coming to my house and being like, I'm going to kill you if you don't do a merch drop.
Right.
Oh.
And that new Porsche that you got because of those merch drops, it's a nice one, too.
Yeah, I got a second secret Porsche unlocked, exposed.
I sweat all over it.
Yeah.
Well, that's the only Porsche I have.
I thought you were trying to say I have a second Porsche.
Oh, really?
Well, it's fairly new.
I mean, like, when I think about when someone gets a car, like, within a really, yeah, yeah.
No, it is new.
I'm just, I thought you were doing the usually people like to slander me.
So I just thought you were doing that thing.
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where I think I was viewing it from the perspective of like when someone buys a Porsche, that's like a, that's like a pretty significant purchase.
I'm not sure if that's something you're doing.
I went to Hustler You and as soon as someone else drives your car, it's useless to you.
Right.
Yeah, it's like you wouldn't let another woman drive your car.
You wouldn't let you let another bro fuck your girl.
I had to catch myself the other day, you know, because I, you know, you almost let a bro fuck your girl.
Well, no, I watched a little bit of Andrew Tate and I was driving along and I, you know, I felt a vein pop out of my head because I saw like a woman driving and I was like, that does weigh too long.
It is weird.
Did you guys not get the memo?
Exactly.
It doesn't make sense.
I just, that's, that's what we're here to do, honestly.
We're here to defend freedom of speech.
We're here to talk about Andrew Tate.
This is the Andrew Tate Defender podcast.
Oh, okay.
We're trying to move in.
The ATD.
Yeah, here.
I mean, everybody put the glasses on.
We don't have enough.
I might get a sunglass for you as well.
Here, pop your shirt off.
I'll start rubbing your shoulders.
No shot.
Come on, just pop your shirt off.
I'm not that confident.
We'll do it at the end.
We'll do it at the paywall conference.
We'll do it on the paywall content, maybe.
Here you go.
I got one for you.
Hold on.
I wear glasses.
Put them over here.
I just wanted to do this.
Dude, living in the future.
You know, I've done this before, though, because I don't know about you, but driving in LA at certain times, going down highways.
I don't know if that one going to Santa Monica just totally blind.
And so I have a pair of sunglasses, but I just never wear myself.
Just six.
Jesus, take the wheel.
Which one do you want?
Do you want my mom's?
Yeah, I'll take your mom's.
Wow.
Did you?
Something's in the way.
The hair with the hair, you look perfect.
Like the glasses fit perfectly with the hair, honestly.
It's becoming sort of part of your brand too because of the Donna look.
Hello, everybody.
He's right.
Donna.
When did you discover that that part of your register exists?
Existed?
I know.
So it's funny.
That character is based on a grandmother of mine, a nanny we used to call Grandma Mary and my own pair, Christine.
But Grandma Mary actually sounded like this.
And so I learned very early on that I could do a Grandma Mary.
That's fucking.
And I love Grandma Mary.
She was one of those women who I always tell a story.
I would go over there.
She'd be like, Julia, you feeding this kid?
What's going on?
Julia, what are you doing?
Yeah, my mom would be like, I fed him like 15 minutes ago.
He still got up like a happy meal in his hand.
He's like, look at these skin and pones.
What are you leaving already?
Yeah, we have to go.
Give me 15 minutes.
I'll make some meatballs.
She'd like make meatballs.
And then my mom would be like, all right, we really got to go.
She's like, there's no sauce.
You're going to feed him some meatballs with no sauce?
What are you?
What are you an animal?
Give me an hour.
I'll make some good sauce.
Talk about the first time you wore a dress, though.
Huh?
Talk about the first time you ever wore a dress, though.
First time I ever wore a dress?
Uh-huh.
I mean, unless you don't want to, we can cut it.
I can't remember the first time I wore a dress.
I thought you were going to semester at C.
Okay.
That wasn't the first time.
Okay, well, let me.
Okay, I'll set the scene.
Semester at C. We're on a cruise.
I'm not there.
I'm Wilnef.
Okay.
I mean, this is some gender identity stuff.
I had sex and drag while I was in drag, and I enjoyed it a lot.
Really?
I felt very pretty.
You are pretty.
No, I'm pretty.
Free Stuff and Brutish Vibes00:08:50
I'm brutish.
Brutish.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah, I'm not brutish.
Oh, okay.
You can't just give him that and then not me anything.
God damn, bro.
You got a pretty face, but then it's like, you're going to like fucking kill someone.
That makes me sad.
Okay, but let me explain.
But that is the truth.
I'm a British person, and I always wanted to be brutish in a good way, though.
Is brutish normally a bad word?
I just haven't heard it before.
You don't like, you know what I always think about it.
There's a line.
I'm sorry then.
That's not how I meant that.
That's all good.
Hassan's whole person reminds me of this line from the great Gatsby when he says that this one guy has a body that looks like it was made for violence.
But I'm not.
I think it's Daisy's husband or boyfriend.
Like, yeah, he just looks like he was made to smash rocks.
Which ironically.
Yeah, like the ironically, I hate.
I hate violence.
I abhor it.
I think it's awful.
Right.
I mean, I like watching violence.
I just don't like participating in it.
I've been in many fights.
You know, I went to school in New Jersey.
It's just like impossible.
It's a prerequisite.
Yeah, it's impossible to avoid.
You've ever spent like any part of your life adolescent, pre-pubescent, you know, geriatric, like you're, you're throwing hands.
Yeah.
Like people in New Jersey, old folks, those are probably throwing hands regularly after bingo night.
Shit goes down.
It's wild.
Well, yeah, when shit, when shit goes haywire and bingo, I mean.
Have you ever been in a fight, Ted?
Have I ever been in a fight?
No, I honestly, I don't think I ever have.
Really?
Yeah.
You're from Massachusetts.
That's like kind of.
Yeah.
That's a fighting state.
The fighting or yeah.
You know, part of me in a weird way wishes that I had experienced it at least once, but like, I feel like I've gotten too old where it's like, now I'll just seem like a fucking knucklehead if I ever got in a fight.
Ted, you're also very classically handsome.
I always say this.
I always feel like if I took a picture of you and put it in black and white and put the date 1948 under it and some random Ivy League school, no one would bat an eye.
If it was like Ted Envison, squash champion, Princeton University, 1914.
Everybody would be like, yeah, that fits.
No, when I first met you, I immediately was like, that's a Harvard guy.
You just have like Harvard guy vibes.
Now, once I got to know you more, you're not like that at all.
Once I saw you serving milk, I knew that this was not.
Oh, no, this guy went to Atheca college and it did not have a very competitive acceptance rate.
I knew this guy was not.
Yeah, you were Ivy League School adjacent.
You were next to Cornell.
You literally physically adjacent.
It wasn't even like the school was like, oh, this is close to Ivy League.
It was adjacent in the sense that it was physical proximity.
You look like you got a rowing scholarship to one of the Ivy Leagues.
Yeah, they tried to get me into rowing, too.
Dude, you would have been such a good rower.
I feel like you have explosive glutes.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's what a lot of people tell me.
Yeah.
In various environments, you know, it's like my explosive glutes always sort of, they just are the topic of conversation.
We balled up with Ted.
Yeah, I don't get these invites anymore.
Because you're always doing shit.
What do you mean?
You weren't even here.
Last night when he balled?
No, last Sunday.
Last night we did not ball.
They did.
No, we didn't.
I saw your story.
No, that was two nights ago.
Okay.
That was two nights ago.
My invite message got lost in the mail.
Maybe.
Perhaps.
But you always stream at night.
So I don't even like, I don't even, I don't even want to go through the heartbreak of being like, hey, Will, you want to come hang out?
You don't want to be like me where I invite you during stream and you just don't know while me.
What are you talking about?
When I type in your stream and I go, hey, Hassan, can we do something?
And one person goes, hey, we'll message you.
And you go, shut up, band.
And that makes me feel really good about myself.
Okay, well, I'm in the middle of, okay, because I'm in the middle of fucking talking about some shit.
And like, chat will be like, respond to Will in there right now.
And people get really parasocial while I'm talking about like, I don't know, the fucking...
What's he worried about me?
A child, a child in Boston getting bomb threats or something.
You know what I mean?
What do you care about more?
You know, your best friend in the whole wide world or a silly little hospital getting bombed.
The hospital in that.
In most of those circumstances, there's always going to be a hospital getting bombed.
This is America.
I'm not going to be here forever.
It's like a age-old saying, there's always going to be a hospital.
There's always another hospital getting bombed.
But are you going to be there for your friends?
Bats in the cradle in the silver spoon.
Little boy blue and the man on the moon.
And now you know the best way to get it.
When you're coming home, Hassan, I don't know when we'll be together then.
Yeah.
You know, we'll have a good time, man.
That was...
That was beautiful.
We put the glasses on because I originally wanted to go along with a dope.
G, like, women are awful.
Is that sort of like coming into the podcast?
It was like, oh, you know, this is what Ted's whole drive is.
It's like, oh, he's a TG.
No, you'd give off the game.
You'd be right.
And you'd be right, by the way, when you say that.
You do give off the vibes of a really virulent misogynist.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I've been told that all the time.
People stop me in the street and they're like, man, it looks like you would just vote against everything I stand for.
And I'd be like, okay, to be fair, the misogynist part I was just kidding about, but you do look like a young Republican.
Yeah, no, you literally look like a member turning point.
Man, you've said that.
I mean, you have said that.
Like, you are, you cannot like.
Here's my question.
You can't wear seers.
What am I supposed to say to that?
Because there are certain things like, look, we're all white here.
We can't go bald, right?
Because if we go bald, all of a sudden, you don't know.
Is he a white supremacist or is he just a bald guy?
You don't know.
So like with you, you can't wear Searsucker.
That's interesting.
Because if you wear a Searsuck, all of a sudden.
It's a color.
Is that a color?
No, it's just fabric.
It's a material.
Is that material?
Like, all of a sudden, it's like, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
This guy's going to.
What kind of politics does this guy have?
There's no way in hell that you would ever catch me in Vineyard Vines because that would just be, it would be Vienna Vines, Sperry's.
Not anymore.
It was the style back in the day, but nowadays.
I feel like it would fit you perfectly, though.
I wonder if this would unlock something in you if you like did the whole like preppy chad thing.
Right.
All of a sudden, it's just like fits.
Yeah, I think it would.
Yeah, it would sort of be like the mask or something.
It's like when you're like, it overtakes you and it's like, Deborah.
Somebody stop me.
Yeah.
Deborah, it's time to go to the vineyard.
That sort of thing.
Speaking of clothes, you got great clothes.
Good stuff.
Thank you.
Oh, I love you.
Yeah, my last merch line.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, I'm glad.
I've been hearing, you know, I take pride in being able to try to make the best merch that I can.
I like sending it to my it's very good.
My mom keeps stealing it, which is kind of whack.
I'm like, mom, stop taking these ones.
I like these a lot.
She's like, no.
I was actually, it's funny because I've been working up my way to like start doing merch again.
And so I had some meetings with some companies actually.
And when I was talking about, you know, how people like the merch that I've released, I actually mentioned that story.
Oh, really?
You had told me about how your mom had a merch.
She stole it.
And it's like my favorite.
It's the maroon one.
Yeah.
It's like, it's a really good color.
Thank you.
And for some reason, my mom was just like, yeah, I won't take it.
And then she just yoinked it and took it to New Jersey.
I'm like, oh, come on, mom.
It's all good.
You know, this is my way of telling you, like, I would like some more of your merchandise.
And you know what?
For free $99, I hope.
When I got the new stuff coming out, here's the thing.
The next line is called the new stuff.
Yeah, the new stuff.
And then after that, it's like the old stuff.
When I come out with new stuff, I want to send people stuff.
But I've realized recently that I don't know.
Like, I'm starting to get so much of my wardrobe being other people's merch that I'm starting to wonder for myself, for the people that have been doing this for a while, if they would, like, want it or if it's like, oh, this is a good.
Like, I don't know.
If it's good, I want it.
He is a fiend.
He always wants it.
There's no free stuff.
Dude, it feels so good to receive free stuff.
It's like, it's like, no, I'm not even kidding.
I just like.
No, he's had too much.
He's spoiled.
No, I am.
His fucking P.O. box looked like an Amazon fulfillment center.
Rainforest Cafe Video Idea00:06:53
I had that.
He got so much free shit.
I have like housewashers want to fuck him.
So they like send him, like, you know, like, notice me.
I'm wearing, I'm wearing one of my, the Vivian Westwood necklace is literally from my P.O. box.
Like, someone sent this to me.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it is wild.
I mean, I'm telling him not to.
Is it is that just is it a $150 necklace?
Someone sent him a snowblower one time.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
They did.
As a meme.
Like a $200 snowblower.
Yeah.
That's ridiculous.
I tell them not to.
I tell them not to.
I'm like, I'm not going to use this.
Why the fuck did you send it?
Yeah, that's super.
Did you, like, give it away?
Or like, where did you, where'd you, where?
Well, who am I going to give it to?
I mean, California.
You threw it out.
I'm sure that there was a, there's somebody in.
Big Bear in big use of a snowblower.
I did not drive like six hours to Big Bear to give one snowblower that I got.
Oh, no, the best part is it was broken.
That was the other part that I forgot.
Yeah.
Because so they sent it, but I guess like while they were shipping it, it was like fucked up too.
So I just threw it out.
You know what I'd like to talk about?
You recently took a trip.
I did.
That was incredible.
It was a true coming of age.
Buddy Buddy.
Manifest Destiny.
Spanning the United States.
Yes.
You went to every Rainforest Cafe.
ARFC, baby.
In the Ustado Zunaidos.
Ados Unidos.
A rare breed now, the Rainforest Cafe, been closing at a lightning clip.
Lightning pace.
There used to be, I think, I had to pay attention online.
I had to figure out what the number was of their peak number they had.
And I was like looking at the Wikipedia.
I had to figure out when the closed date and open dates was and kind of figure out what the highest number was.
34 at its peak, Rainforest Cafes in the United States.
We used to be a proud nation.
We used to be a good nation.
We were the number one nation on the planet.
We had rainforest cafes everywhere.
As far as the eye can see.
Yeah.
As far as the eye can see, a canopy of rainforest.
Nobody wants to work anymore.
You went forest cafe.
18, correct?
Yes.
I believe there was 18 that we went to.
You went to 18.
Yes.
Yeah.
He did a lot of the.
So I know the answer to this, but you got to tell our audience, what possibly compels a human being?
To go to every Rainforest Cafe in the United States.
Yes.
Well, I used to go to the Rainforest Cafe when I was a wee little boy.
Right.
And I'm actually, you know, I'm from Massachusetts, and there was this mall that I would go to as a kid, the Burlington Mall, and it had a Rainforest Cafe.
And also, this Rainforest Cafe in particular, and you love this.
You'll love this.
Was the Rainforest Cafe they filmed in for cinematic revolutionary movie?
Oh, something that shocked the nation starring Hollywood sweetheart Kevin James Mall cop.
Wow.
Yeah.
It was that Rainforest Cafe and that closed.
And, you know, in 2018, I was thinking of video ideas while I was in college and I was like, what's something stupid I could do?
Oh, so this has been percolating for a long time.
Oh, yeah.
It's been sitting around, bouncing around in my brain.
And so I did an initial video where I went to the Rainforest Cafe in Buffalo, New York with a friend, and I was just like hyping up the Rainforest Cafe.
We did that.
We just went to one.
And then after I did that, I was like, I said to myself, you know, back then when I was a wee child in 2018, I was like, I want to go to every single one.
But whenever I have the ability to do that, so then, you know, come modern times.
And I was like, it's.
Now it's an incredible video because you kind of get a Pokemon red and blue.
Yes.
You get your perspective.
Yeah.
A young man who loves the Rainforest Cafe.
With all my heart.
And maintains that passion throughout the trip.
And then you have Eddie Burback.
Yes.
Who had no attachment to Rainforest Cafe and is a little bit of a self-proclaimed curmudgeon.
Curmudgeon?
That's a fun word.
Yes.
And so about three Rainforest Cafe's in.
He's over the track.
He is like, okay, so this is...
15 more to go.
Yeah, it was like.
So it was like, oh, so we got to keep doing this over and over again.
Eddie's video kind of disintegrates into an apocalypse now style madness by the end of the trip.
It's almost, yeah, yeah, no, it, it, Apocalypse Now, and with a hint of taxi driver.
Time to get taxed.
A thing you don't want to be.
No.
Yeah, but so it was the way it originally had come about was I was we were at have you been to June Shine before in Venice?
June Shine?
It's an alcoholic kombucha bar.
Isn't that what Cody Coe just recently did a couple of years ago?
Yeah, he actually, yeah, he's an investor in them and he made a flavor with them.
And like maybe a year and a half ago, Eddie and I and our girlfriends, we were getting drinks at June Shine and we were just talking about like YouTube and stuff and video ideas.
And then I just mentioned the Rainforest Cafe video idea.
And I think a part of me was also like, I hope he says that he would be down for this because if anyone, if I could think of anyone, because, you know, Eddie and I are similar in that we kind of take a long time in between our blogs for video.
So I was like, if there's anyone that's going to have time, there's a chance.
Also, some of Eddie's best work is when he's torturing himself.
Yeah.
The Morbius video, yeah.
It's such a good, such a ridiculous idea.
So, you know, I mentioned that to him and he was like, you know, oh, I would, I would come along with you that.
And I, it was like one of those things where I was like, it was a hope, but then all of a sudden it was like, oh, shit, this is like a real thing.
I was like, really?
Yeah.
Really?
And he was like, yeah.
And then it was like, we kind of just, we planned it out in advance of when we would go.
And then, yeah, I mean, it became a reality, which is just so crazy.
Cause it's like, how often are you able to find someone?
And it went from originally, I think Eddie was going to do, he was going to do like a, like a review or something of each item at the Rainforest Cafe.
Yeah.
But then it sort of started to evolve into like, how funny would it be if if, you know, we each told our sides of the story?
Because I knew that I was going to go in, you know, with this, with this enthusiasm.
Stars in his eyes.
Yeah, stars in his eyes, hope in his soul, just a, just a young American boy on the open road.
Mounting Dudes Like Sports00:12:12
Yeah.
So yeah, it, and it was, it was definitely a very fun, like collaborative kind of like experience of, of doing this trip and then just like random stuff like along the road.
Like, um, would you do it again?
Would I do that again?
Not for the Rainforest Cafe, but something different?
Maybe.
I would need some medieval time.
I know one thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, for the life of me, cannot understand why two wealthy YouTubers decided to take a truck that was literally on its death rap.
Oh, my 2002 Forest Green total.
How dare you?
That's a wonderful piece of machine.
Don't let them talk that way.
Have you seen the video?
They had some issues.
I've seen not only, listen, I've seen the truck itself.
Here's what I'll say.
It's a beauty.
Here's what I'll say.
You know, I think that we did that trip at a crossroads for the truck.
And that crossroads was just when there was sort of like a lot of things that were.
I was about to go into hospital.
No way.
There was just some things that were overdue.
Suspension fell out of the vehicle.
There's a lot of things to that truck that have been replaced.
There was this one time that I was driving to Anaheim and I was driving down the road and all of a sudden I heard the sound of dragging, like metallic dragging.
Okay, I have to say something.
Yes.
There are 10 locations in North America.
Nine are in the United States and are built as a replica of 11th century castles, the 10th location.
Are you talking about medieval times?
You son of a bitch.
Would you do it?
Because I would do it.
I would do it.
You and me.
Medieval times.
Hassan Piker at the helm, driving a Porsche this time.
Medieval times.
Medieval times.
Some of my.
And we compete at every medieval time.
Some Hasanabe heads actually.
I've actually never been to one before.
I've never been to one either.
And I want to so bad.
Okay.
Some Hasanabe heads, I believe it's the location in New Jersey.
I don't want to fuck this up.
Unionize their own medieval times.
First ever location in the United States of America.
So when do they close?
Good one.
They will never shut down medieval times.
It's one of those things where it's like you got to admit, unionization is probably the last blow for a themed restaurant.
There's not too much that's cheap in those.
You guys are wrong.
Why would anyone not want to go to a middle ages experience where you can have a turkey leg and look at people jousting?
So I love medieval times.
Can I just mention something real quick, too?
That would also, like the unionization thing, that would also be kind of like off-theme.
No, no, no, no.
I mean, you guys have like serfdom.
No, no, they're still, you can still yell at them.
Don't worry.
You can?
Yeah.
It's like, like, they're still serfs when they're LARPing, but they get compensated.
Oh, that'd be so amazing if the union executed him during the show.
Yeah, it's like.
You're still compensated adequately, but they're still peasants.
I'm all for that.
Yeah, Painless Death too.
And it was a good package.
Let me tell you, medieval times, I'm a big fan.
Yeah.
But there's a secret to medieval times.
And it's getting...
Oh, you have been to many.
I've been a few times.
That's correct.
The secret to enjoyment of medieval times is to get absolutely shithoused beyond all recognition.
And to like give in to your most primeval self.
If you're not holding a turkey leg with hot.
No, that's what I want to do.
That's what I want to do.
Like you just fucking want, like you just went to fucking war.
Yeah.
And screaming.
Yeah.
Like you saw one of your brothers get their arm knocked off by a long bow.
Yeah.
There you go.
I want it so bad.
I want to actually do this.
By the way, on May 31st, 2022, employees of the Medieval Times in New Jersey filed for a union election with the NLRB working for the American Guild of Variety Artists.
Because these guys are doing some gruesome shit.
They're not just like serving your turkey leg.
They're jousting.
Yeah, they're doing all that stuff.
Are the servers the ones that joust?
So it's like, no, it's like you sign up as a server.
It's like, oh, you could be, you know, you could be jousting any day, though.
So when you come in, you're given a section.
That's your kingdom.
Okay.
Either you're the blue section or the red section or the green, and you get a knight.
And then they all compete in the games.
And there's one section that's like the champion for the night.
And that's when you pop off.
That's when you're yelling across to the green section and be like, yo, mother is a whore.
Oh my God.
Dude, I get it.
So now that makes sense.
So it's like, you have your guy.
Yeah, you have to do it.
And that's what your stake is in it.
Because normally people could just be like eating their food and stuff, but it's like, oh, you got a stake?
No, you're not.
For the record, these have been around since 83.
Like 1983 is the first medieval times.
Well, I'm not surprised that they started in the 80s.
That just seems like a time.
No, but it's like an institution that has like survived multiple, multiple economic downturns.
You know what I mean?
They survived the financial housing crisis.
I guess when you have a castle, like we go to every medieval times, and the last one we go to is the unionized one, and we compete as knights for the sections.
Right.
Damn, that's not.
Is there one near LA on medieval times?
Orlando, Florida, Bueno Park, California, Lynnhurst, New Jersey, Straumberg, Illinois, Dallas, Texas, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
Homberg.
Yeah.
Hanover, Maryland, Lawrenceville, Georgia, Scottsdale, Arizona, and then one in Toronto, Ontario.
Six God.
So closest one, Scottsdale, Arizona.
No, there's one in California.
Oh, I didn't hear that one.
Buena Park.
Oh, Buena Park.
Okay, that's closer.
Cloch-ish.
It sounds familiar.
We'll go get a taste.
We could wet our beast.
I think one of the coolest things is that it's literally a crazy thing.
I always want to go get a taste with you, whatever the context.
Yeah, let's just go wet our beast.
It's literally a fucking castle.
I think it's so cool.
Such a funny phrase.
This is what America was invented for as a nation.
Yeah.
I wonder if they would let us stream our visit.
Probably.
I feel like, you know, yeah, like, why not?
That would drum up some interest.
There's like a lot of strange level of enthusiasm for medieval-based things in the U.S. for like a country that has no history with medieval battles.
Have you seen some of the stuff in like Texas of, you know, the guys that dress in full armor with the only difference, like they fight, but the only difference is just the blades are dull.
Oh, yeah, they beat the shit out of me.
Wait, isn't that the original LARPing?
That's what live action roleplay is.
Yeah, but not like this.
These dudes are like doing mixed martial arts with like you played a knockout as in like knockout as in like somebody hits you in the helmet with would you pull that up for us Jamie?
I love that.
Billy Raybrain, can you yank that up for us?
I think it's called Medieval Fight League.
Yeah.
You know a surprising amount about this.
I've watched this a lot.
Yeah, my buddy Tucker, who actually runs the Chuckle Sandwich Highlights channel, he was sending me those and he was like, you gotta see this shit.
They're fucking insane.
This and the sport that occurs once a year in Florence are like my two favorite things to watch.
Sport that occurs once a year in Florence.
There is a, okay.
Yeah, let's watch this real quick and then I'll.
The hardest KO.
Oh, we get to see the hardest KO.
And he's dead.
Look, there's a dent in his helmet.
Yeah, that's not a joke.
That's like...
Dude, like they're fucking...
Don't.
And they're punching each other with like...
And they can't see shit.
No!
They can't see anything.
Oh!
It's basically like, let's cover you in metal.
What a fucking awkwardness.
I can't believe you've never seen this, Hassan.
Oh, this is so sick, dude.
Oh, my God.
We should do this, but with samurai armor.
Okay, I'm in.
All right.
I mean, or this armor is cool, too.
This is so sick.
Knee to the growing.
Oh, a little judo toss.
You're dead, Malone.
Full mount.
Like, bashing him.
Fucking bashing him with the fucking shot.
Oh, what the fuck?
He just fucking pummeled his skull.
He's concussed.
He's definitely concussed.
Yeah, he's done.
How do you even ref that?
Like, you can't be a good referee to them.
Where are they doing?
This is beautiful in the backdrop.
He's going to be getting out of the hospital and speaking in moonlight after that.
Come on, I'm stuck like this.
So I love watching this, but I'm going to introduce you to something.
Oh, yeah.
Once every year in Florence, there is a sport that is made up by Florentines.
Florentines?
I don't know.
Meridians?
Where the four districts of Florence compete in a like a rugby style game that is mixed with bare knuckle fighting?
And the rules are very open to interpretation.
Half points can be scored.
And the winner of the four districts wins a cow.
So this is all for bragging rights.
And outside of the locals, not really many people watch or participate.
Like no one participates in it.
But it's like a big here.
Pull this up.
Pull this up for me, Billy Rave Brains.
You have to see it to believe it.
It's one of the most serene.
It just sounds like the closest thing to just like sport.
Look at that.
It just sounds like the closest thing to like caveman warfare.
Here's yeah.
Pull this up.
Are they still doing this?
What's coming up on?
Yes.
So just pull up a wonderful thing about this sport is that boom.
So it's like rugby, but there's also like this straight up brawling element to it.
They do just pull up a live broadcast.
Oh, god damn.
He trusts the spectators.
That's crazy.
That's pretty hard.
Awesome.
They looked at like one of the most violent sports and were like, how can we crank up the violence?
Yeah.
But apparently they've been doing this for like ever.
It's like rugby hockey.
But at the beginning of the day, this is in Florence, Italy?
Yes.
At the beginning, both teams line up and you can just go beat the shit out of the guy across from you.
It seems like every European country needs to have one of these in order to survive.
Like you've got the bull runs.
Yeah, the running of the bulls.
Or as opposed to bullshit.
Or you know what happens?
Fascism.
That's what happens.
They need an outlet.
Calcio storico Fiorientino, Fiorentino.
Bafanculo.
Oh, yeah.
So there's a lot of pageants.
So they line up and then go in a little bit.
This is before the opening whistle.
Yeah, see, they line up.
They're squaring up.
They're just allowed to fist fight.
You're just allowed to beat the shit out of the guy next to you.
And once you mount a guy, you're allowed to stay on top of him for as long as you want.
What?
Yeah.
See how they're mounted like that?
That just effectively takes that guy out of play.
Wow.
So points it.
So there's like a net along the backside.
You can't even really see it.
But if you score it, you get a point.
If you miss it, the other team gets a half point.
This game is incredible.
That's insane.
Yeah.
People are wheeled out on hospital carts.
People are knocked out.
Yeah.
I feel like...
Oh, there you go.
Here's a little bench clearer.
Here's a little bench clearer.
Oh, here's a little Donnie Brook.
How do you stop this?
Like, how do you stop a massive brawl when there is a massive brain?
It just looks like a street fight.
Yeah.
It doesn't even look like they have any sort of like.
I love that Florence, an area known as one of the most artistically inclined, beautiful, gentle, culturally has this once per year.
Just straight up Thunderdome.
You have to, you have to.
This is the only way to keep it.
This is the only way to keep doing the gay art stuff.
Yeah.
Like, there's no other way.
You got to let it.
You got to let your outlet out.
You're going to mount a dude sometimes.
Just got to mount him.
Lord of the Rings Comics00:15:28
Yeah.
I love that.
That's incredible.
You know, I could see in application to medieval times, if you get like drunk enough, there's got to be some dude like in there that's like tried to bribe one of their knights and be like, you're going to win this.
And then like handsome like a little hot little pistol or something like that.
No, you got it.
You got to give him.
He's like, offers a prima nocturne with his wife.
I can bang my wife.
Her?
She's here to win.
No, I want to go and like have a bunch of gold coins, like gold chocolate in your hand as a prize.
Come on.
The ones you get during Christmas.
Yeah.
Do it.
Do it, my knight in shining armor.
I don't know why I'm speaking like that.
Go do it.
My knife in shining.
No, I get it.
Do it, my boy.
I don't know why I was doing like a like a transatlantic almost like.
Do it, my knight in shining armor.
You see?
You see, honey, this is why I like medieval times so much.
It's just such a joy.
I love to take the train when you do that.
You do have like the vibes of a person.
But you have a 50s face.
Yes, we've established that it works really well.
Well, I hope they don't, I don't know, cause segregation.
I don't know, generational trauma in people are canceled.
Yeah.
Speaking of medieval times, have you guys seen the new Lord of the Rings or the new Game of Thrones?
Yeah, I've seen both.
Okay, cool.
I fell asleep.
I've seen either.
Well, we can't have a conversation now, I guess.
But I want to hear about it.
No, what I was going to say is like, I watched New Lord of the Rings.
It's all right.
Not bad.
It's not great.
Was the troll slaying thing?
I saw a clip of a woman slaying a troll.
That was Lord of the Rings.
Okay.
Which I fell asleep at, but it did seem.
I was tired.
I'm a little sick.
But it did.
Not like that.
I've been testing for COVID.
It's not COVID.
It is Monkey Box.
I lied.
I don't think the Monkey Box works that way.
So Lord of the Rings came out of the gate swinging a lot harder than Game of Thrones did, I'll admit.
Okay.
What did you think?
Well, they're both prequels, which I'm not the biggest fan of.
I think Lord of the Rings is a little baffling to me because I assumed that it was based on the Sarmillion, which is J.R.R. Tolkien's auxiliary work for Lord of the Rings, which kind of fills in some of the missing spaces in that saga.
But apparently, and I didn't know this, Amazon was unable to secure the rights for the Sarmillion.
So they have to breeze past all of like those moments in the story and kind of focus on the creation of the rings as their like entire plot line.
And I found out that afterward, the Tolkien estate gave the rights to a video game company for the Simeon, like almost immediately, which is very strange.
They were just like, fuck you, Jeff Bezos.
It can't be a monetary issue because Amazon dumped like a million dollars.
Fucking an insane amount of money.
And then as for the Lord of the Rings or the Game of Thrones prequel, again, it's a prequel.
I think, you know, I'm kind of aware what happens.
We know on a long enough timeline what happens here.
But a lot of it kind of feels like a make good from how people were disappointed in the.
Yeah, I think they're, you know, people are still watching it.
I think good fantasy is hard to beat.
And what I'm really interested in seeing is this Jon Snow sequel.
I don't really care about the prequel all that much.
I'll watch it and have fun with it.
But I can't wait to see because that's off the rails, right?
This is still based in Game of Thrones lore.
We know where it's going to be.
Do you think it's better that it stays, it gets off of the original material or source material?
Oh, yeah.
Damn, you don't want J.R. G.R. J.R.R. Martin.
Well, I think Jr.R. Tolkien.
What's up with the R's?
You got J.R.R. Tolkien and then George R. Martin.
Dude, his parents were so fucking stupid.
Yeah, what the fuck?
The two most important fantasy authors.
Okay, go on.
And then J.K. Rowling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, just kidding.
What?
Yeah.
Figure it out.
Figure it out amongst yourselves.
But I honestly, I think that the reception to the end of Game of Thrones has a lot to do with the fact that they knew how the series would end, but they didn't have his actual writing to kind of show how that should be paced and how to develop those moments.
And so I think a lot of them fell very flat at the end of the show.
It felt rushed.
I never watched it.
What?
Yeah.
I'm a freak.
I watched Game of Thrones.
Why are we talking about these other fantasy projects?
Watched Game Of Thrones season one and I was like I can't wait.
I can't wait for the next season to come out.
So I read all the books.
I read the first three books.
That's actually what I did with invincible.
Oh really yeah, I have not, I have not done that, but invincible is great.
Um, first I read the first three books right incredible, incredible read, uh.
And then when the fourth one came out, like the last one, they came out with dragons.
Yeah, I never actually read it to completion because, like too much time had passed in between and I never went back to watch the.
You know, I never went back to watch season two, season three whatever, however many seasons are out there, because I was just like I don't know, I was like too far removed from the source material.
At that point I had like gotten my Game Of Thrones, Phil.
So I'm in this weird gone from that relationship yeah, but I'm in this weird space where, like my opinion, Game Of Thrones is incredibly positive as a consequence of only reading the first three books and also watching the first season, which is the greatest season.
Well, I think it's so funny.
It's so funny because it's like you know that he's about to come, come in and roast you, but in your Electronic you're trying to get all you're like.
Well, hold on, I'm not gonna roast him.
I will say this, I think a lot of people forgot how good you're embarrassed Game Of Thrones.
I think the first six seasons mainly five, though the first five six seasons of Game Of Thrones are some of the best television of all time.
And then you can see where they get off the source material and where DND were looking at that Disney contract and and where things started to fall apart and it became Transformers.
Right, here are your good guys, here are your bad guys.
Oh wait, not enough incest.
Well, definitely not enough incest, but no, I think, I think the magic of Game Of Thrones seems like an industry-wide lack of it.
Yeah, I think the magic of Game Of Thrones for me was seeing all these flawed characters and seeing a, a program in which there wasn't, like you know, the hands of decency on it, where bad guys could win and sometimes you had to do nefarious things to succeed as the good guy and sometimes being honorable got you killed.
I think seeing that those things and being genuinely surprised yeah, by by Game Of Thrones early on was such a blessing.
And then the later seasons of Game Of Thrones, they got rid of all the interesting characters, in my opinion, and and they preemptively cucked the Night king, so that it was kind of like oh, the big bad is gone right, we clearly have our good and evil characters here and that's sort of like an issue, or not necessarily an issue, but sort of something you wouldn't necessarily expect from a lot of fantasy, is sort of that grounded, realistic sort of character relationships because yeah, that's what made it,
that's what made Game Of Thrones unique in comparison to everything else, because there's no clear good and clear evil.
That is hard to go back into.
Lord Of The Rings, where it's like so clear like Sauron is the bad guy yeah, and everybody's like don't worry about Sauron, he's gone.
And and everybody's like he's an immortal wizard, we should really do something.
No, it's fine Like watching the last Harry Potter and then the first one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you looking at me?
I never watched the Harry Potter movies either.
I only read the books.
Don't resonate Esperanto Harry Potter, big fan?
I am a fan of Harry Potter.
I mean, J.K. Rowling, problematic fave, I guess.
No, not really.
J.K. Rowling is very transphobic.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why you were.
I thought.
She's a fucking nutcase on Twitter.
Yeah, she's insane.
But the Harry Potter books bang.
Like, when I was a kid, I was like, holy shit, this is awesome.
I wish I could.
I always disliked Harry Potter.
I didn't read the books when I was a kid because that first books, I was bothered by the cover art of them.
I thought they looked, I thought the cover art for those first books.
Yeah, I thought like Harry looked like a loser.
And I was like, this seems like something.
I agree.
I just thought it was like, oh, this is going to be boring.
Oh, this is going to be like a kid's book or something.
And I wasn't interested in that.
I never read it.
I am a believer that fantasy is like, it's tribalist.
And you can either enjoy like the kind of like dark, dark fantasy, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones type of magic, or you can like that lame ass dark magic and Harry Potter.
Yeah.
I can see that.
Well, you don't really like either.
No, I love, I love it.
No, you're not.
I mean, I wasn't like fucking, I'm not like.
Well, you haven't watched either.
So, you know.
Yeah, I guess.
To be fair, I didn't know.
Before you watch them, I guess it's just like, you're like forever away.
I watched like one, two, one through four, maybe.
You're a bandwagon.
But I never actually like.
No, I read the books when it first came out, but I don't know.
I just like.
Here's what I'll say.
And one of my gripes.
Back when I was younger, though, I do have a good reason for why I didn't watch the Harry Potter movies.
Because I didn't allow it.
No, because it would come later.
Because I'm so fucking old.
Like, I don't think this problem exists anymore.
But we used to get movies like a year later.
Well, they still release movies later, like movies to the international audience, like later down the line.
Yeah.
So like...
You see that stuff with like the Marvel movies, like those big ones people were saying about like Endgame and stuff.
It's like, oh, it's coming to Australia.
Like it comes out in like June.
It's like in Australia and like fucking this year.
Like, so I never, I, I was like, I'm going to watch, I'm going to read the books.
Like I have access to the books immediately.
So I'm just going to do that.
Oh, I actually have something funny to show you guys.
Yeah.
Oh, could I just say my one thing, though?
My one gripe about Harry Potter.
The most important spell or one of the most pivotal spells, the one that they talk so much about.
It's like the killing spell.
It's the worst thing you can do is called Avada Cadaver.
And that, I just think, is funny because it's just like Abracadabra.
Abracadabra.
It's like she was just like, it's just like, what's like the one word that everyone knows is magic.
It's like Abracadabra.
Oh, but let's put some like bees in there.
Well, it just sounds like cadaver.
That's why.
Like she took Abracadabra and turned her into cadaver.
I've heard people say that, but it's like Avada Cadabra, Abracadabra.
Same syllables.
It's like...
You could be a muggle and accidentally do it.
Yeah, you could.
You could be accidental missing.
You could be trying to do a drunk magic show.
Don't make me pull it out.
And then just be like, oh, you know, I'm doing a little Avada Cadawra.
And then all of a sudden, you killed someone with a flash of green light.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
All right.
While we're talking about nerd shit, speaking of flaming heaps of rackets.
You can just be impressed with that.
Fucking loser.
Dang.
You fucking dork.
Oh, I went to Universal on an Apple's wand.
I was an expense paid trip by G4 and I managed to just spend a little bit of money on a fucking wand.
Snap his wand.
So right now, my favorite.
It is pretty cool.
I would win Guardium Leviosa your ass so hard right now.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that because I respect you.
Just start farting all over your screen.
Don't worry, I do enough of that, all right.
So my loser a lot today.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, what's going on?
I like it.
You're attacking me quite a lot today yeah um, so my favorite nerve nerd shit is a flaming pile of shit right now.
I'm a DC fan and uh, Pepsi of Superheroes yeah, that's a great take.
And uh, the flash.
You know he's out doing domestic violence.
And uh smoking, they are out doing domestic violence.
Yeah yes, sorry.
And being a threat to mankind uh, my fault uh, so there's something else that happened recently.
Um, it was, uh Latin heritage month week.
I don't know Billy, I believe it was Billy, it's got to be, Surely it's his.
DC made an effort at making Latin heritage covers.
Billy, i'm going to need you to pull up those covers for me.
Oh god, this is actually a really good segue into another thing that i'll pull up after you.
This is always amiss.
They never get this right.
Wait till you see, in general, I feel like I see this a lot with comics, and even on the Marvel side, they kind of do this so, so DC actually has some pretty good inclusion in terms of their characters, with Latin characters however their Latin heritage covers.
Go ahead and pull up the first one.
Uh, this is based on a famous piece of Latin art.
However, this is Green Lantern holding a bag of chimmichos oh my god, no.
Tamales yeah tamales, sorry.
Oh my god, yeah.
Are you joking?
No, I am not joking.
It gets worse.
And here's the thing he's worse.
It's not like he just has one no, like that.
He would normally do like he has an entire.
He's trying to feed a family of 75.
It's like back from always sunny.
He's got the plastic guy space.
Yeah, so that was what they did for Green Lantern.
Let's next slide Billy.
Uh, this is uh, another uh, member of the Green Lantern CORE.
Uh, she is eating.
What is that in her hands?
I'm sorry.
Uh, I believe that is a napkin.
That is a?
Uh.
I think that's either a sopa or a soft taco.
It just looks like a napkin.
Yeah, let's go to our next slide.
It gets more egregious.
Um no, what is going on?
Why are they doing so?
For those of you noticing a theme here yes, for those of you at home, this is Blue Beetle, who is actually a Latin character within the DC Universe, and he has what I would call a gratuitous amount of hard shell tacos while he is jumping off an unrealistic amount of hard shell tacos.
Okay, things are hard to if holding one, it's hard to keep their contents inside.
I'm gonna, i'm gonna come out with a hot take here.
This is per.
This is completely anecdotal, but Latino people across the board are are uh, a a group of individuals who love when like I mean, even like you, even if you did like insensitive, I feel like that would be better than this.
If they were all like wearing sombreros, people would be like yeah, that's kind of funny.
This, this gets worse.
He's got five tacos.
This is just tacos.
Why Are they just holding up tacos?
Ezra Miller Black Adam Quirk00:12:18
I thought I had seen it all, but this one gets worse.
Wait, before you go, this next character is another Latin character.
Let's go ahead and press the button.
This is Hawk Girl as a waitress in a plant, Platinos Fritos cafeteria, bro.
That's crazy.
Oh, it's crazy.
Blue Beetle at the border.
What the fuck are they doing?
They made dress.
They really missed her.
They swung.
I don't even know if they swung that.
Well, I mean, here's the thing that's just kind of strange about it: it's like, why is the only connection that they can find?
Yeah, food.
It's like, it's just every single one of them doing something that they would normally do.
I mean, I guess I don't know how often Greenlander is putting a Viva Mexico flag on the.
How often is one of the most powerful superheroes in the DC universe waiting table?
Well, yeah, no, yeah.
Why is that?
Also, why is that Latino?
Yeah.
Why is that Hispanic?
It's like that's really fucking a good segue, though.
Marvel has done this as well.
Have you seen Black Thor?
No.
Oh, my God.
Marvel has seen insane shit.
Go down, go down.
Yeah, Go Google called out for races.
That one's going to have everything in it.
Oh, God.
Are you ready for this?
It's so good.
New Marvel comic about a Black Thor sparks Blacklash from graduating racist stereotypes.
Okay.
He says it's hammer time.
He has a hoodie on.
Okay.
He kind of looks like Odell Beckham.
They made him Miles Morales as urban, you know, as urban.
Thor.
I fucking hate that word.
It makes me want comics, etc. to go back to being outwardly racist.
Dude, first of all.
Wait, this is Miles Morales?
They made Miles Morris.
Why is Miles Morales Thor?
I think it was like one of those what-if style scenarios.
Oh, he graffitied his hammer.
Dude, he graffitied his.
He's got the Jordans.
He's got the Jordans on.
Well, okay, go back to the fair.
Miles Morales does.
Yes, the Jordans are kind of signature Miles Morales, but go forward.
And the hoodie is too, which, you know, I know.
The graffiti on Thor's hammer is not great.
Dude, it gets so much worse.
Isn't that also good?
Wait, go back.
First of all, go back.
Go back.
Hold on.
Go back to the main thing.
That's fucking Valhalla.
Okay.
There's sneakers on...
Like, what the fuck are you doing?
That's Asgard, not Valhalla.
Sorry.
There's sneakers on fucking like the electric.
I will say with the hammer thing.
Isn't that also one of Miles Morales' thing?
It's like he would do the...
Like that was part of his art that he would.
Would he?
I don't know if he would put it on Jolnir.
Yeah, what do you think?
I don't know if he would just put random stuff on Mjolnir.
There's so much more.
There's so much more.
Hold on, hold on.
There's more.
Click on the article because there's more in the article.
First of all, everyone has fades, which is awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Here.
Here, look, look, look, look.
This one's great.
This one's great.
Mjolnir by Odin's fade.
No.
No.
I command you shield this lost son of Freya from your might as grace flows through him.
By Odin's Fade.
Yeah, by Odin's Fade.
And the tweet that is posting this is just by Odin's what?
Yeah, but it gets, it's even better.
Excuse me.
All the forest trolls or whatever are wearing like massive pieces of jewelry.
The frost trolls?
Yeah, the frost trolls that he fights.
He says it's hammer time.
There is a, god damn it.
I mean, there's just crazy.
Start the finish is just incredible.
That seems like it was made by, of course, a non-black person.
It seems to be a consistent theme in comic books where they, you know, with the, you can call whatever, you can call their intentions good or whatever, but like, like, it seems like a consistent thing that has happened for years because I remember seeing some of that stuff like years and years ago.
It's like, oh, can you believe they did this as the cover?
Or like that's wild.
I mean, it's just, it's incredible.
Oh yeah, so you're, as a DC you know fan fan.
Like how does like?
Is that is it just a bummer?
Or like yeah, how is that?
Like I uh, it's really interesting because DC I would say overall in the past 20 years, has better projects than Marvel.
Right, Dark Knight is better than Marvel, Joker is better than Marvel.
I would say that both Peacemaker and the Second Suicide Squad I saw a little bit of Peacemaker oh, you're not about to say that the Second Suicide Squad is is better than most Marvel projects.
I haven't seen Peacemaker, but I did not like the second Suicide Squad all that much.
I thought it was really good.
Um, I would say DC has like standout projects like even Doom Patrol is really interesting, whereas Marvel.
Marvel is like scary, consistent b2b plus movie every single time.
But they've just nailed that formula, yeah so but, but on the other side but on the other side of that equation, DC has some projects that are so reprehensibly bad.
Yeah yeah, Justice League is one of the worst pieces of dog Zack Snyder cut.
It blew my mind that everyone was like, really it's a Schnyder cut and I was like there's no way that you can edit a pile of dog shit to not like they filmed a dog poop for two.
Wait, did you?
Did you like the Zach Snyder more?
No, I was about to say because it was worse, it was just slow with slow movies movie, but slower yeah, it's so bad it was.
And I was confused by the aspect ratio choice too.
It was like it's just confusing because like, DC fans are so rabid and I consider myself a DC fan, but when I rag on DC there are so many DC fans who are like my really liked Justice League.
Batman Versus Superman was pretty good and it's like, no, it wasn't.
No, it wasn't, it was dog of the highest calories.
The Snyder cut yeah, and everything in your mind.
It's just so funny that they, they like advocated to release that and then they got it and it was just awful.
Well, in an impossible place right now too, because they have tied the entire future of their franchise to Ezra Miller, because Flashpoint Paradox is like a well, it's a natural reset for the entire timeline.
So if you want to bring in fresh blood for actors, if you want to change any of the canon that you've made thus far.
It is.
It's like a time travel story where, where Flash goes forward in time and when he goes forward in time it's all out war between Atlantis and the Themiscarans the the the, the Amazonians because um, because Aquaman fucks Wonder Woman and his wife gets pissed, and so it's all out war and basically everyone dies, like every single character dies in this fallout in the war.
So then Flash has to go back in Time and reset everything, but Ezra Miller is one of the most unhinged psychopaths.
Literally, I actually have heard that he sucks.
I've actually are you serious?
Yo, he is unhinged.
Oh my god, Ezra Miller.
They are.
They are.
Ezra Miller is a bad person.
Ezra Miller is like a bio-weapon that you unleash upon unsuspecting civilians.
And they come in like the chupacabra and they just fuck shit up.
What the hell did he do?
They got arrested like eight times in Hawaii on the island in a span of like in a span of like a month.
Not only does they work as their gender, but also works with how many times they've been arrested.
Yes.
You would think they were multiple people.
Yeah.
How many times they were.
We're using the singular they for the non-binary Ezra Miller when I when I say like they are wreaking havoc.
Yeah.
Okay.
Multiple times.
Has like it or has like a like grooming allegations with like a random name battery breaking an energy battery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like they'll go to like a bar.
This all started when there was like one random like female fan that uh that came up to them while they were like fucking filming some shit or something or they were at a bar.
I think it was like Iceland or something and they just fucking choke slammed them and everyone was like ha ha that's kind of funny like Ezra's kind of quirked up like right it was before they came out as non-binary.
He just choke slammed a fan.
But it was so it was like weird.
No one here let me let me play it out and it goes out.
It kind of came out of nowhere.
So let's pretend you're a fan, right?
And you're like bubbly and you come up and you're like, oh my god, Ezra Miller.
All right.
Oh my God.
Ezra Miller.
What are you doing?
No, literally.
No, like that.
Exactly.
In slow motion almost.
The opposite of flash.
So like there have been multiple accounts of people describing what this looked like.
No, no, there's a video of it.
Hey, Billy Ray Brains, will you pull that up?
Of him slowly and deliberately choking a female fan.
Them.
Yes.
So.
Our gripe with Ezra is not their gender.
Sure.
So they do that, right?
Oh, yep.
There it is.
Okay.
So that's what like sparked the situation.
Then they came out.
And she's like smiling, so she doesn't understand what's going on.
Thank you.
Did you want to fight?
Is that the deal?
What the fuck?
Whoa, bro, bro, bro.
He says, you want to fight?
Is that what you want?
He's like, she's like fucking around.
And they're like, I'm not fucking around.
Like, I will kill you.
So the reports have just been torrential.
So then that happened.
And then there wasn't that much news.
And then they came out as non-binary and like having like a sex cult or something.
Like on fucking, you know, regular GQ coverage profile came out.
Look at his toenails.
Look up Ezra Miller toenails.
I don't know if I want to see this.
No, no, no.
You want to see this?
Because it ties in.
It ties into the whole fucking.
Yep, that's it.
That's unedited, baby.
Show him that.
That's from the fucking GQ.
Well, when you run at incredible speed, looks like it tied it into the flash.
Do it.
That's actually cannot.
That's actually a canon.
The most unhinged DC fanboy.
No, no, no.
That's Canon.
No, that's Canon.
No, no, that's like, that's actually, you know, the craft.
They're respecting.
It looks like he's been cursed.
Yeah.
It looks like he's like, his feet look like he's been cursed by a witch.
And they became the witch.
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
So DC is at a really interesting crossroads.
Oh, yeah.
So really?
So DC is still going with that.
They have to.
Yeah.
Because Flashpoint is so.
So that's the thing.
DC wants to hang on to a lot of what's going on in its universe right now, right?
They have The Rock is Black Adam.
Amazing.
They have certain things that they know they want to keep going.
That might not be as amazing either because apparently like The Rock is like maintaining ownership of the IP pretty fucking protectively.
Yeah.
Yeah, and is like saying Black Adam?
I think he's the one who like he bought it, right?
Well, the amazing thing is Black Adam is a bad guy.
He's not anti-hero.
Black Adam has never been like a hero, but now it's The Rock.
Yeah.
So we might see a brand new Black Adam.
He said he doesn't want Shazam.
The fucking...
To beat him.
To beat Black Adam.
Like, he doesn't.
He wants to do a standalone Black Adam project.
We don't know what's going to happen to the Black Adam movie that's going to come out.
And apparently.
Which I read for it.
Remember.
And apparently.
Remember I read for Black Adam?
Yes.
Pierce Brosman is Dr. Fate.
Is Dr. Fate in...
So he's another major character in the DC universe.
But I think he fights Black Adam in this and Black Adam kills him.
I think that's what's about to happen.
It's so funny what The Rock can get away with being the president.
I'm 90% sure.
He's our next president.
He's the highest paid actor in the world, right?
Fast Furious Psycho Masculinity00:02:47
Which is wild considering that this is Vin Diesel 2.0, but he was able to make a mountain out of it.
Don't tell that to The Rock.
He'll never come on now.
I mean, I don't know.
Their feud is legendary.
I think he's never going to come on regardless.
The fact that they had writing in both separately?
The fact that they had writing in both their contracts that neither one of their characters could be perceived as stronger or winning a fight against the other one in any of their films is insane.
That is some psycho-masculine fucking.
To be fair, though, The Rock did come in and like both revitalize the franchise, but also kind of cooked Vin Diesel, who was like the main guy.
Dude.
I hate Fast and the Furious.
I've never watched every of my beat.
And here's an interesting thing.
I haven't seen any of the Fast and Furious.
You're not famous.
But my favorite thing at Universal is the studio tour.
When you go into the Fast and Furious cave that they have, the badly digitized Vin Diesel is the best thing ever because Vin Diesel is standing.
It's like these screens that you see of them.
It's like, and it's, you know, one of the things that I've noticed about every, all of these rides at Universal is that's, if you want the full right, you pull into a garage.
It's a house party and it's, and it's um, it's a party.
Who's no first, who's the?
Uh, there's a party.
Tay Diggs, is it Tay Diggs?
Who's the model?
Pull that up for me, Billy.
Uh the, the underwear model, and he's like, oh, you're looking for so-and-so, you got to go find him here and you pull and it's party right, and it's just like women doing this.
It looks like, it looks like um, one of those, one of those.
It look, you know, when you play one of those racing games in an arcade.
Yeah, it looks like the depictions of women in racing games in our background, of like Street Fighter.
Yeah, they're just like endlessly like woo.
Yeah, they got FIFA 98 graphics.
Yes, and then the cops bust in and they're like, Where's Vin?
Yeah, and it's like, we gotta get out of here.
And then you pull off and like two seconds later, you're in a tank and the FBI is following you.
And Vin Diesel's like, yo, it's family.
And he jumps on to the helicopter helicopter and just flies off with his little Tim's dangling in the air.
Well, I think one of my favorite things about it, too, is that you know, you can kind of tell when actors are on, are in press tour mode.
Yeah.
And the fact that in that ride, you can see Vin Diesel in press tour mode is the funniest thing.
Like, he is like looking directly at the camera and he's like, we got to get out of here.
Water World Ride Canon Issues00:04:14
But remember, at the end of the day, it's always family.
It's like and they shot it like they were all separately shot.
Yeah, they definitely were.
Oh, it's definitely all green screen kind of stuff.
And like, also, when he comes in, it's like a fucking like elevator that he just comes out of the floor.
And like he's just standing there and it's like, Vin Diesel's here now.
Yep.
And who doesn't have a convenient place elevator in their garage party?
Well, I mean, I'm sorry, we can't.
I'm just saying.
The exact opposite of that ride is the King Kong ride.
The King Kong ride is a journey.
Well, it rips if you're in the middle.
Interesting.
Because I've been in the middle before and I loved it.
But if you're in the back seats, it's just, you just see all of the seams of it all that it's just like kind of hard to, like, it's kind of hard to enjoy it.
But one of my things that I've always thought about Universal that I think is the funniest thing, and it also sort of happens with Disney rides, but it's just a theme park thing that I've noticed is that they love creating parasocial stuff with the people that are fans of the series.
So no matter what, at the end of every ride at Universal, no matter what, you can go to every single ride on Universal Hollywood and that ride will end.
And there will be some form of, thanks so much for your help.
You can come back anytime.
Yeah.
Like at the end of the Harry Potter ride, it's like, it's like, thank you so, thanks so much for joining us.
I'm Dumbledore.
And you've saved the day.
You're welcome back at Hogwarts whenever you want.
And just noring the muggle aspect of it all.
Yeah.
Or like the fucking.
You're over there like, actually, not Canon.
I'm a muggle, not even a half boy.
I don't have anything to do with Harry Potter's.
I would say Universal Tour, though, going around.
My favorite thing to do is get a butter beer, frozen butter beer.
It's actually pretty good.
I don't have a fireball in it.
Twist that bad boy up and just get bent on butter beers, dude.
So did you teach that strategy to Schlatt when you guys all went during G4?
Because then he pitched that to me.
I did.
And then several times when I was at Universal, it was I would always try this on busy days, but I wanted to do this.
And it was basically a race from getting from the get the frozen butter beer and then try to race your way from there to the Duff Beer brewery in the Simpsons world.
I don't even know what's going to happen to that, by the way, The Simpsons world, because it's not owned by Universal.
Like Disney purchased The Simpsons.
So I wonder what it's going to happen.
Or 20th Century.
There might be some cutout so they can keep it.
Well, I know Universal is dumping a bunch of resources into Super Mario World.
Yeah, that's going to be cool.
It's going to be cool.
It's going to be cool.
But yeah, I did try to, I did try to do that.
And it's good.
It's good.
It's kind of, I will say, as opposed to Disney World, it is remarkably easy to get drunk in Universal.
It is shameful to like, and I'm surprised there hasn't been more problems at that.
It's a pretty fast and loose park.
Yeah, it is.
They run it pretty tight, though, regardless.
Like, I don't know.
I feel like it's one of the remaining institutions in America that actually works.
Yeah, there is a greatest attraction.
Think about it.
Think about how many people are being filtered through the crowds.
And like, you don't really get to see a lot of troubles.
No, problems.
Yeah, why don't we...
Have you been to the Water World ride or interactive experience?
Which one?
The one, the Jurassic one that we like the movie, like the 80s movie, Water World?
90s.
90s.
Oh, wait, hold on.
What are we on time?
We're fine.
Oh, we should cut and then do the.
Oh.
Guess what?
Guess what?
If you want to know about the Water World experience, that was, by the way, one of my favorite movies.
I love that movie.
I will unironically ride for that movie.
You're going to have to watch it.
That's right.
On the paywalled episode.
Sign up for the pain wall and you get all of this.
The pain wall.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's work on it.
Looking to get your ass.
Will Neff and Hassan?
We are going to spit roast you.
That's our new segment.
It's called Double Down on the Guests.
Would you gay stuff?
Give me the.
Are we in it now?
No, not yet.
Double Down on Guests Roast00:00:53
He's going to cut it.
But hey, you can find that, obviously.
You can find that, obviously, at patreon.com/slash fear and last episode.
We did some gnarly stuff with the Super Mega Boys where we looked at Keemstar boofing random objects in his butt.
You know, what?
Yeah, you don't even know about this shit.
Keemstar's boofing?
Maybe we'll look at it again on this paywall, baby.
Maybe full prezzo.
I'm pulling my cock out and walking across the screen like Bigfoot.
So funny.
We'll talk about that too.
I fucking love Prezo.
He gross.
There's a character arc, but he does strike both the woman and the child.